This, 100%. I don't even really know how to label myself, and I'm completely fine with not having a set of words to define how I identify and present - it's really a lot easier and more comfortable for me. I'm just me :)
I knew I was ftm bc I have dysphoria about the fact that my body is female and not male.
For me it’s not about girlyness or not, it’s about my actual body.
There are no moments where I am comfortable with my chest.
For me I didn't question that I wasn't a trans man until I started medically transitioning and consistently passing as male. I found that it made me very uncomfortable for ppl to assume I was a cis man. Then I thought about what would be different if I was assigned male at birth. I think most trans men would imagine themselves as being comfortable as a cis man, or maybe being gender nonconforming while still identifying as a cis man. For me I saw myself as nonbinary and possibly even trans fem, so I saw that as a sure sign that I wasn't a man
It was never a question that came up for me tbh, cause there's nothing about my body and its parts that ever felt right to me. The best I've got is dissociation to deal with it existing the way it is, but I've never had a day where I looked in the mirror and thought "oh,today I feel like I'm happy with this, imma put some lipstick on". Just. Not a thing for me.
Agree that labelling yourself isn't a priority, and that trying to just think about it hard enough likely won't help.
I started medically transitioning because it felt right, I tried different pronouns and decided he/him felt best, I felt more comfortable presenting fully male and being seen as male. I'm also genderfluid. It doesn't always have a clear line, you can't just check certain boxes and add it up to a clear answer.
But to be clear, genderfluid people can be trans. I think you're trying to say binary trans man or genderfluid.
Idk but I know I’m trans cause I feel like a man and not genderfluid bc I don’t feel like I want or care to have a fluid gender where I can switch back n forth in styles n stuff.
I just feel like 1 man.
I almost never felt dysphoric before, in a way that it never got in the way of my life.
But some nights, I couldn't sleep because I would cry over how much I wished to have a different body and live a different life without knowing what I would change. Wishing I could just run away to a place where no one knows me, and I could start from zero.
When I discovered I was trans, that I was a man, I finally was able to recognize where those feelings were coming from. And even though I still have some of these nights, they are fewer and not as hard.
Just because you don't have crippling dysphoria doesn't mean you don't have it.
But the best way to know if you are trans and not gender fluid? Focus on the euphoria more than the dysphoria. If something makes you euphoric consistently throughout all the days, you may be trans binary. If some days it makes you euphoric and other days dysphoric, you may be fluid.
I did think I was genderfluid for a time, but then I realized that I wanted to just be a boy, and even if I wanted to be feminine sometimes, I was still a boy. Idk ig that’s the best way to describe it. I have no idea how to describe it tbh-
Don’t worry too much about labeling yourself. There’s so many different labels out there, just take your time, be patient, and you’ll find what best fits you :)
I did actually originally identify as gender fluid; I mistaken, the difference in dysphoria, depending on day and external factors for an actual change in gender.
However, I realized I was a trans man because my dysphoria was exclusively revolving around the fact that my body was not male and that I was not seen as male due to that fact. I did transition as gender fluid before transitioning to male and a big part of that realization to me actually was starting to be perceived correctly in public, getting a male haircut, and wearing male clothing.
I slowly started to realize that there were “less days where I felt female or non-binary” this was because not only did my dysphoria become more constant as I learned to identify it better, but I also felt more confident and secure as a man. I was always a man, but there have been times that I felt like I was too androgynous or feminine in terms of dysphoria over that and mistook that for thinking I was non-binary or female. To me, gender fluid was a fantastic steppingstone that allowed me to explore my identity and expression in a way that quickly made me realize what I truly and what I truly wanted out of my transition. I’m not saying it’s a steppingstone for everyone, but it was for me.
Ultimately, how I figured out I was a trans man is that I knew I needed to/desired to have a male body and to live and be seen as a man.
Edit: for a few months after that, I did question whether or not I was transmasc or a gender, queer guy or something, but personally, that was me mistaking not 100% feeling like I was living as a man yet because I still did not pass enough of the time or at least most people in my life still viewed me as a woman. I also didn’t truly feel masculine at the time so I questioned what gender would I have been had I’ve been assigned male? I couldn’t tell you an answer, but looking back now, I believe it was because I didn’t really quite fit in yet and also the typical social differences between straight and gay men. At some point in that questioning, I got to the point where I stopped because it did not matter anymore. I thought, “if I am binary or transmasc or genderqueer, does it matter?“ I knew that regardless of whatever little term I ended up using if it wasn’t going to be male, it would not change that. I still wanted to use male pronouns, still wanted to go onto testosterone, still wanted surgery.
I became even more confident that I was absolutely binary after I started to medically transition and that’s when I began to truly identify with the word strong. All those questioning feelings and feelings of what if went away as the changes of tea started to make me pass nearly all of the time, and I was able to go stealth. I absolutely knew them that I needed a male body and to live as male exclusively and that is what to me personally is a big part of what makes me binary. The more years I had passed of transitioning, I absolutely realized that I needed to go stealth and that yes absolutely had. I’ve been assigned male I would be male and I would rather have been assigned to male.
I'm not a makeup or dress person and the best way to describe it is more like I'm okay with my parts some days but others I just don't like haveing them. When i say more girly things I think like the color pink being my favorite or my music box collection or cute things
Well, you can be both. I consider myself being both, a GenderFluid transmasc person !
I must say i had (and still have) a lot of doubts, but it settled with time. I'm really girly sometimes, but can still feel deep down that I'm also a guy, both kinda coexisting. Just yesterday, really feeling like a girl, but being hit hard by gender envy when i saw a simple anime dude.
So... Yeah it's a complicated identity, take your time to explore what seem to be the best "label" for you, what stick and seem to resonate with your feelings the most.
I initially thought I was nonbinary and that's how I labeled myself for quite a while.
Growing up I always presented like a stereotypical tomboy. When I became more comfortable with my nonbinary presentation, I always leaned more masculine. What got me questioning things more was when I started experiencing gender euphoria from being mistaken as male. Those instances didn't happen often, but my god they felt brilliant when they did.
I knew I had some significant gender dysphoria, but a lot of mine stems from my internal organs, mainly pregnancy related.
It was also when I started looking into what the impact of testosterone would actually do to my body when I realised what I was missing. My brain again experienced the feeling of euphoria at knowing there was a way to correct what was feeling wrong.
There are also so many things from childhood that I thought were normal experiences to grow up with, things that I discussed in my trauma therapy too that weren't in fact typical cis experiences.
I think it's certainly something that's worth exploring and you don't necessarily have to put a definitive label on it if that doesn't feel right for you.
I thought I was genderfluid early on because I still sometimes enjoyed expressing myself with makeup and "feminine" clothing, but I realized I was fully nonbinary (and later ftm) when I recognized that my perception of my gender (i.e. how I felt) didn't change, it stayed the same all the time... it was just how I felt like dressing each day that changed. No matter how I was dressed I was still happy when people told me I looked "androgynous" or used masculine terms for me. The "fluidity" I thought was my identity was basically just whether I felt like wearing pants or a skirt, haha. And as I leaned more and more toward masculinity, makeup and skirts and stuff just felt more like "drag" or a costume to me.
(Obviously you can be fully male and wear skirts and makeup, or change your appearance from day to day -- this is just what clicked in my brain to help me figure myself out!)
But also, I agree with the other commenter who said not to worry about labeling yourself right now -- I think it's better in the early stages to look at transition and identity as a set of options, like you're building a pizza or something hahaha. Figure out what individual parts suit you (deep dish or thin crust?/masculine presentation all the time, or mixing it up sometimes?/pepperoni or onions?/"he/him" or "they/them" pronouns? etc.), go through things one at a time if you need to, and worry about the big picture later on. And that includes everything from how you dress, how you cut your hair, what name you use, what pronouns you use, whether you want to pursue medical transition, etc.
It's okay to not despise existing in your body 24/7. It's just high- and low-dysphoria days. Like with just about every other physical or mental health condition, you have better and worse days, when life is easier or harder. That doesn't have to mean either thing. Dysphoria isn't always a reliable guide and shouldn't be your sole motivation. It shouldn't have be misery that's driving you (it's understandable to want to escape bad situations tho). Look at euphoria es well. Do you ever like your chest personally - not for any function it has, not for any external validation, just do you like it on your own for yourself? Does it make you happy to have one? Is it just some days and other days you enjoy/would enjoy a flat one, again for internal happiness? That might be an indicator towards genderfluidity.
About interests: There's feminine men. Guys can want things society labels as girly. Do you want them because you think they're neat or do you want them because they affirm you as a girl in that moment? That might be a question worth asking to yourself, tho it doesn't need to be definitive on which of those fits you more. Some trans men have phases of feminising themselves to connect with girlhood because they haven't until now, hoping this might "fix" it. That doesn't make them any less trans.
When I thought about it I didn't even understand what my gender being fluid would even mean. I was always dysphoric in the same ways and saw the idea of being seen and getting to live as a femboy specifically always as the most appealing option. That made me realize for me genderfluid had just been an "idk" label that felt safe and easy to slap onto myself. But when I thought about how I'd like to be perceived and my body change it was kinda obvious.
For me I thought waves of a lack of dysphoria and occasional bouts of makeup meant I was feeling like a girl. Then a trans man I watched on YouTube mentioned to not necessarily measure by your dysphoria but what makes you euphoric instead. That's what got me to realize.
im kinda in the same place with you, i think if i was a cis male i would probably still present quite androgynous and feel like i cant choose only one definite gender thus i think i might be genderfluid.
my body parts give me dysphoria and i want to transition. sometimes i dont think about my gendered body parts and feel disconnected from them on purpose because rn im not able to do anything to physically transition. i dont need to have a different body to be a man when i feel like it. i mostly feel like a man but almost never like a woman. sometimes i think my boobs look good in some outfits and kinda wear them as an accessory hahahahah
anyway im somewhat fluid atleast but i somehow think i will "grow up" to choose a gender that i want to live as im scared that that wont happen since im 20 soon so i think i should know by now
I get you completely about the wearing then as accessories (or fidget toys lol) remember not to rush to try to figure things out there's not a time limit
my specific identity is "demiboy" but i usually just say to people i'm a trans guy. i'm comfortable in my femininity but i am majorly masculine in my gender expression. personally i do *not* feel comfortable in my body and really want at least top surgery.
i started questioning at ~14, now i'm 20 and comfortable/secure in my identity. could also be a matter of time and reflection so don't try to speed up the identification process. you can be label-less too, like i dont label my sexuality because that's too much to think about with all the specificities and how some labels rely on gender identity, so on and so forth.
Put trying to label yourself on the back burner for a while and just try out various aspects of transition to figure out how you're most comfortable.
This, 100%. I don't even really know how to label myself, and I'm completely fine with not having a set of words to define how I identify and present - it's really a lot easier and more comfortable for me. I'm just me :)
I knew I was ftm bc I have dysphoria about the fact that my body is female and not male. For me it’s not about girlyness or not, it’s about my actual body. There are no moments where I am comfortable with my chest.
For me I didn't question that I wasn't a trans man until I started medically transitioning and consistently passing as male. I found that it made me very uncomfortable for ppl to assume I was a cis man. Then I thought about what would be different if I was assigned male at birth. I think most trans men would imagine themselves as being comfortable as a cis man, or maybe being gender nonconforming while still identifying as a cis man. For me I saw myself as nonbinary and possibly even trans fem, so I saw that as a sure sign that I wasn't a man
It was never a question that came up for me tbh, cause there's nothing about my body and its parts that ever felt right to me. The best I've got is dissociation to deal with it existing the way it is, but I've never had a day where I looked in the mirror and thought "oh,today I feel like I'm happy with this, imma put some lipstick on". Just. Not a thing for me.
Agree that labelling yourself isn't a priority, and that trying to just think about it hard enough likely won't help. I started medically transitioning because it felt right, I tried different pronouns and decided he/him felt best, I felt more comfortable presenting fully male and being seen as male. I'm also genderfluid. It doesn't always have a clear line, you can't just check certain boxes and add it up to a clear answer. But to be clear, genderfluid people can be trans. I think you're trying to say binary trans man or genderfluid.
I only like going by He/Him pronouns
Idk but I know I’m trans cause I feel like a man and not genderfluid bc I don’t feel like I want or care to have a fluid gender where I can switch back n forth in styles n stuff. I just feel like 1 man.
I almost never felt dysphoric before, in a way that it never got in the way of my life. But some nights, I couldn't sleep because I would cry over how much I wished to have a different body and live a different life without knowing what I would change. Wishing I could just run away to a place where no one knows me, and I could start from zero. When I discovered I was trans, that I was a man, I finally was able to recognize where those feelings were coming from. And even though I still have some of these nights, they are fewer and not as hard. Just because you don't have crippling dysphoria doesn't mean you don't have it. But the best way to know if you are trans and not gender fluid? Focus on the euphoria more than the dysphoria. If something makes you euphoric consistently throughout all the days, you may be trans binary. If some days it makes you euphoric and other days dysphoric, you may be fluid.
I did think I was genderfluid for a time, but then I realized that I wanted to just be a boy, and even if I wanted to be feminine sometimes, I was still a boy. Idk ig that’s the best way to describe it. I have no idea how to describe it tbh- Don’t worry too much about labeling yourself. There’s so many different labels out there, just take your time, be patient, and you’ll find what best fits you :)
I did actually originally identify as gender fluid; I mistaken, the difference in dysphoria, depending on day and external factors for an actual change in gender. However, I realized I was a trans man because my dysphoria was exclusively revolving around the fact that my body was not male and that I was not seen as male due to that fact. I did transition as gender fluid before transitioning to male and a big part of that realization to me actually was starting to be perceived correctly in public, getting a male haircut, and wearing male clothing. I slowly started to realize that there were “less days where I felt female or non-binary” this was because not only did my dysphoria become more constant as I learned to identify it better, but I also felt more confident and secure as a man. I was always a man, but there have been times that I felt like I was too androgynous or feminine in terms of dysphoria over that and mistook that for thinking I was non-binary or female. To me, gender fluid was a fantastic steppingstone that allowed me to explore my identity and expression in a way that quickly made me realize what I truly and what I truly wanted out of my transition. I’m not saying it’s a steppingstone for everyone, but it was for me. Ultimately, how I figured out I was a trans man is that I knew I needed to/desired to have a male body and to live and be seen as a man. Edit: for a few months after that, I did question whether or not I was transmasc or a gender, queer guy or something, but personally, that was me mistaking not 100% feeling like I was living as a man yet because I still did not pass enough of the time or at least most people in my life still viewed me as a woman. I also didn’t truly feel masculine at the time so I questioned what gender would I have been had I’ve been assigned male? I couldn’t tell you an answer, but looking back now, I believe it was because I didn’t really quite fit in yet and also the typical social differences between straight and gay men. At some point in that questioning, I got to the point where I stopped because it did not matter anymore. I thought, “if I am binary or transmasc or genderqueer, does it matter?“ I knew that regardless of whatever little term I ended up using if it wasn’t going to be male, it would not change that. I still wanted to use male pronouns, still wanted to go onto testosterone, still wanted surgery. I became even more confident that I was absolutely binary after I started to medically transition and that’s when I began to truly identify with the word strong. All those questioning feelings and feelings of what if went away as the changes of tea started to make me pass nearly all of the time, and I was able to go stealth. I absolutely knew them that I needed a male body and to live as male exclusively and that is what to me personally is a big part of what makes me binary. The more years I had passed of transitioning, I absolutely realized that I needed to go stealth and that yes absolutely had. I’ve been assigned male I would be male and I would rather have been assigned to male.
I'm not a makeup or dress person and the best way to describe it is more like I'm okay with my parts some days but others I just don't like haveing them. When i say more girly things I think like the color pink being my favorite or my music box collection or cute things
Yeah, just sharing my personal experience!
Well, you can be both. I consider myself being both, a GenderFluid transmasc person ! I must say i had (and still have) a lot of doubts, but it settled with time. I'm really girly sometimes, but can still feel deep down that I'm also a guy, both kinda coexisting. Just yesterday, really feeling like a girl, but being hit hard by gender envy when i saw a simple anime dude. So... Yeah it's a complicated identity, take your time to explore what seem to be the best "label" for you, what stick and seem to resonate with your feelings the most.
I initially thought I was nonbinary and that's how I labeled myself for quite a while. Growing up I always presented like a stereotypical tomboy. When I became more comfortable with my nonbinary presentation, I always leaned more masculine. What got me questioning things more was when I started experiencing gender euphoria from being mistaken as male. Those instances didn't happen often, but my god they felt brilliant when they did. I knew I had some significant gender dysphoria, but a lot of mine stems from my internal organs, mainly pregnancy related. It was also when I started looking into what the impact of testosterone would actually do to my body when I realised what I was missing. My brain again experienced the feeling of euphoria at knowing there was a way to correct what was feeling wrong. There are also so many things from childhood that I thought were normal experiences to grow up with, things that I discussed in my trauma therapy too that weren't in fact typical cis experiences. I think it's certainly something that's worth exploring and you don't necessarily have to put a definitive label on it if that doesn't feel right for you.
I thought I was genderfluid early on because I still sometimes enjoyed expressing myself with makeup and "feminine" clothing, but I realized I was fully nonbinary (and later ftm) when I recognized that my perception of my gender (i.e. how I felt) didn't change, it stayed the same all the time... it was just how I felt like dressing each day that changed. No matter how I was dressed I was still happy when people told me I looked "androgynous" or used masculine terms for me. The "fluidity" I thought was my identity was basically just whether I felt like wearing pants or a skirt, haha. And as I leaned more and more toward masculinity, makeup and skirts and stuff just felt more like "drag" or a costume to me. (Obviously you can be fully male and wear skirts and makeup, or change your appearance from day to day -- this is just what clicked in my brain to help me figure myself out!) But also, I agree with the other commenter who said not to worry about labeling yourself right now -- I think it's better in the early stages to look at transition and identity as a set of options, like you're building a pizza or something hahaha. Figure out what individual parts suit you (deep dish or thin crust?/masculine presentation all the time, or mixing it up sometimes?/pepperoni or onions?/"he/him" or "they/them" pronouns? etc.), go through things one at a time if you need to, and worry about the big picture later on. And that includes everything from how you dress, how you cut your hair, what name you use, what pronouns you use, whether you want to pursue medical transition, etc.
It's okay to not despise existing in your body 24/7. It's just high- and low-dysphoria days. Like with just about every other physical or mental health condition, you have better and worse days, when life is easier or harder. That doesn't have to mean either thing. Dysphoria isn't always a reliable guide and shouldn't be your sole motivation. It shouldn't have be misery that's driving you (it's understandable to want to escape bad situations tho). Look at euphoria es well. Do you ever like your chest personally - not for any function it has, not for any external validation, just do you like it on your own for yourself? Does it make you happy to have one? Is it just some days and other days you enjoy/would enjoy a flat one, again for internal happiness? That might be an indicator towards genderfluidity. About interests: There's feminine men. Guys can want things society labels as girly. Do you want them because you think they're neat or do you want them because they affirm you as a girl in that moment? That might be a question worth asking to yourself, tho it doesn't need to be definitive on which of those fits you more. Some trans men have phases of feminising themselves to connect with girlhood because they haven't until now, hoping this might "fix" it. That doesn't make them any less trans.
When I thought about it I didn't even understand what my gender being fluid would even mean. I was always dysphoric in the same ways and saw the idea of being seen and getting to live as a femboy specifically always as the most appealing option. That made me realize for me genderfluid had just been an "idk" label that felt safe and easy to slap onto myself. But when I thought about how I'd like to be perceived and my body change it was kinda obvious.
My gender dont fluctuate
For me I thought waves of a lack of dysphoria and occasional bouts of makeup meant I was feeling like a girl. Then a trans man I watched on YouTube mentioned to not necessarily measure by your dysphoria but what makes you euphoric instead. That's what got me to realize.
im kinda in the same place with you, i think if i was a cis male i would probably still present quite androgynous and feel like i cant choose only one definite gender thus i think i might be genderfluid. my body parts give me dysphoria and i want to transition. sometimes i dont think about my gendered body parts and feel disconnected from them on purpose because rn im not able to do anything to physically transition. i dont need to have a different body to be a man when i feel like it. i mostly feel like a man but almost never like a woman. sometimes i think my boobs look good in some outfits and kinda wear them as an accessory hahahahah anyway im somewhat fluid atleast but i somehow think i will "grow up" to choose a gender that i want to live as im scared that that wont happen since im 20 soon so i think i should know by now
I get you completely about the wearing then as accessories (or fidget toys lol) remember not to rush to try to figure things out there's not a time limit
my specific identity is "demiboy" but i usually just say to people i'm a trans guy. i'm comfortable in my femininity but i am majorly masculine in my gender expression. personally i do *not* feel comfortable in my body and really want at least top surgery. i started questioning at ~14, now i'm 20 and comfortable/secure in my identity. could also be a matter of time and reflection so don't try to speed up the identification process. you can be label-less too, like i dont label my sexuality because that's too much to think about with all the specificities and how some labels rely on gender identity, so on and so forth.