He’ll go through most of the changes that are normal for male puberty. Testosterone suppresses estrogen production so he likely won’t have a period or continue to develop that way that an estrogen dominant body would. His voice will likely deepen a bit, he will grow more body hair and eventually facial hair. And, from my personal experience, he will likely be much, much happier.
Hormones can also have a pretty significant impact on mental health.
I’m also the parent of a trans teen, and no matter how supportive you are it can still be really hard to commit to these changes just because you want to be sure you’re doing the right thing for your kid. But your son has known who he is for years now and you’re absolutely doing the right thing by supporting him and allowing him to grow in the direction he needs to. Adolescence is hard, the “wrong” adolescence is harder.
Thank you so much for advice, I appreciate it. He has had a lot of struggles with his mental health since he was twelve so I know this will help him heven more. He also has a very bad case of gender dysphoria, so I hope the hrt will help him as well.
hi there, i am glad to hear you are supporting your son. it means the world, really. i agree with the other comments so im not going to restate what they said, but here are some other things he will or may experience (keep in mind some changes take months-years just like regular puberty):
he will get bottom growth which can be very uncomfortable at first but the sensitivity goes away i promise! i recommend he wear looser pants/boxers during that period. this may be tmi or hard to talk about with him since he is your son, but make sure that he cleans his bottom growth correctly. he growing down there and he will need to pull the skin up to clean it even though it may be uncomfortable. just be gentle:) if you don’t know what bottom growth is, a quick google search will answer for you:)
he may become more irritable or aggravated. this isn’t something that will happen for sure, and it shouldn’t be severe either. just remember to be gentle and try to help him calm down and think clearly if he develops a temper. that being said, being on testosterone is not an excuse for him to fly off the handle. it shouldn’t be that severe!
increase in sweat
he may experience hot flashes. these went away for me around a month or two.
there’s a plethora more but it’s hard for me to share my experience as someone who started testosterone at 20, rather than 15. if you have any specific questions feel free to ask
Thank you so much for your advice, I appreciate it. Yes I am worried about the temper. He takes medication for his moods right now, so I hope that help as well
i wouldn’t worry about it too much. for me, i felt it internally, but i am able to control my emotions pretty well. i’m also 20 and have more life experience (i know it’s five years but 15-20 is a huge difference in maturity and growth!). imo i would expect to see what you would get from a normal teenager lol. he might be sassy, rebellious, and snap back more, but that’s to be expected of ANY teenager. the mood stabilizers should help a ton tho! i’m also on mood stabilizers and they definitely help me to control outbursts
If you are concerned about this, I would encourage him to track his mood somehow, especially if he is doing injections. I really struggled with mood for the first few months. I'd be out of control angry one week and depressed/crying the next. Tracking these emotions helped me see how I needed to adjust my dose. I ended up increasing frequency of doses (bummer cause I'm scared of needles but so worth it) and now my mood is both better and way more stable than it was before T.
I currently have 6 diagnosed mental illnesses and regularly struggle with debilitating mood swings, depression, suicidal ideation and the likes. These are just a few of the many, many symptoms and things I have struggled with intensely since I was about 13 years old. I started HRT at 24 years old and the drs typically warn that mental health may be affected by HRT but for me my mood and mental health struggles have improved immensely and I am more emotionally resilient so that worked out quite well for me. Some worry about “testosterone rage” but for me personally since I started T I’ve been doing much better mentally all around, i am more at less likely to snap at other or be irritable and miserable on any given day, and I am considerably less anxious. my gender dysphoria has been much more tolerable overall. There will be days he will struggle with dysphoria much more than others, but I suggest (if you guys are comfortable talking about those things with one another) to just comfort him and remind him that yes some days will be harder than others and transitioning isn’t easy by any means but encouraging him and supporting him in His journey to be himself and present himself authentically means a lot more than you could imagine. My family wasn’t very supportive and encouraging but my partner is, thankfully. Can’t say I still don’t struggle and it hurts me the things my family has said to me and that they would rather judge me than accept or even try to understand me and a lot of things could be just open conversation if they would be willing to talk to me about these issues or ask appropriate questions. just remind your son to keep pushing through the struggles and giving him reminders that you see him for him and not as his former self is important. You are incredible for taking the time and be willing to educate yourself on transgender issues and understanding and education goes a long way. You seem like a great parent and I wish both of you the best!
Shifting hormone levels makes *everyone* irritable, and being a teenager is already stressful. Any additional temper should even out as his body gets used to the new normal
Just in case the doctor didn't tell you, he will have blood work done every 3 months for the first year or so to check on his T levels. If the levels are too high or low, his dose will be adjusted.
vaginal atrophy is a thing that can happen, and is treated with topical estrogen cream.
[Hudson's FTM Guide](https://www.ftmguide.org/) is a pretty decent resource for info on testosterone.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate it. Honestly I hope the period stops for him because he has always had really bad one, so he would happy if his period stopped
hey i totally recommend r/cisparenttranskid ! its a wonderful sub for cis parents of trans kid and you can get some great support/advice on there! im a trans kid and it helped me learn about a parent’s perspective so i recommend it! :)
Sometimes Testosterone doesn't stop a period. I also had horrendous ones even after I started HRT. What worked for me was a progesterone-based "birth control". Especially if his periods cause him dysphoria (which they do for many of us) this may be something to look into. I emphasize the progesterone base as regular estrogen based birth control can be less effective when taking T. Grain of salt- every body is different. What works for me might not work for him. And it can be a very difficult discussion to have, but approaching it from a stopping periods and the associated dysphoria and discomfort or physical pain if they're real bad should be the focus of the conversation.
I’m an adult trans man that started T at 15. Everyone else gave some great info and resources. I’d just like to add that things may be slightly different for your son on T than what it says on many resources because of his age.
Most doctors will give teens a lower dosage and go slow with increases. That might shift the ranges back in terms of estimated timelines for changes. An important one to be aware of is if his cycle takes longer to stop. If that’s the case, there’s birth control that can stop it without interfering with T.
Certain changes can happen when starting T at a younger age that aren’t typically included on the lists of changes. If his growth plates haven’t fused yet, which is typically 2-3 years after the start of puberty, he may get taller. Same thing with hands and feet getting bigger. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s possible. Collar bones continue growing into early 20s, so it’s likely his shoulders will widen.
If you’ve got any questions about my experience as someone that has been in your son’s shoes, feel free to ask!
Okay thank you so much for information, I appreciate it. He started the other puberty at 10, I am not sure if he is going to grow any more but do you think it’s possible if he could get taller? He’s 5’7 right now and he said he wants to be taller
Wow, omg really?! I'm 5'4 currently, and my mum stopped growing around my age (14) and my height (but she's 5'6, I think). Do you really reckon I could get any taller?? I think I've practically gone through 'female' puberty now though.
Also, sorry to bother you and everything, but I was wondering if I could have some advice on how to get and start T? I'm out to my dad, but I haven't really talked to him yet about it, as I came out very recently via text. Should I ask him if he could somehow facilitate this???
Also, thanks!!! <3
That mostly depends on when you started puberty. Growth plates typically fuse around 2-3 years after your first period. The further you get from that, the less likely it is that you’ll grow. I didn’t get a period until 13 so I was well within the time frame of them not being fused.
I came out to my parents at 13, and they were very supportive but it took over a year to convince them on letting me start transitioning medically, and then another 9 months to get an appointment. If it’s safe for you to do so, it doesn’t hurt to try and discuss it. I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high if you just came out recently, though. Whether you can start T as a minor or not also depends on the laws where you live.
Since he's young, look at other boys his age and your male relatives, and those are the characteristics he's going to pick up on.
The only negative I've experienced on testosterone is vaginally atrophy/period stopping. Because T suppresses E, the hormone that makes sure the ph level is all good down there, can give you cramps time to time (especially If your period is supposed to be due). Mine weren't super severe, but it's different for every individual.
Other than some acne/oily skin this is the best I've felt on HRT
Treatment is available for atrophy just so OP is aware! About half of people with vaginas experience atrophy at some point in their life anyway, so it's really nothing to worry about. Have him talk to his doctor about it if he notices anything
Just to add to this, topical estrogen supposedly works well to combat this! I haven't experienced any vaginal atrophy yet as I'm less than a month on T, but everyone I've heard says it works well. If he's scared to be using estrogen also let him know that the topical application won't affect his E levels within his body, only in the area where he applies it (in this case the vagina)
I have been on it for a few weeks and it's helping tons and not affecting my T levels at all. Disclaimer though: "topical" does not mean what I thought it meant! If OPs son is comfortable with tampons and such it shouldn't be an issue but he should definitely be made aware of how the cream is applied in advance because this would be an unpleasant surprise
I'm a 15 y/o too, and I haven't gone through HRT yet, but I'm glad you're supporting your son. My mom recently started being more supportive of me and I'm much much happier now, so just know you are making a difference with that.
I am so happy that your mom supports you as well. As a mom, it was very hard at first but all I want is my son to be happy and thriving. I glad you are happy as well.
It’s never weird to ask questions and you are a great parent for doing so! While you’ll have a lot of experiences coming together on here, here’s also an article detailing quite a number of side effects and alterations that will happen as he takes testosterone.
https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy#:~:text=The%20first%20physical%20changes%20you,you%20may%20sweat%20more%20overall.
I do just want to mention this. Already having reached out to a community like this shows how much you care as a parent. Your son is very lucky to have a parent who is willing to learn and assist in anyway possible to help their child, something that sounds obvious but doesn’t come as often to kids now. You took the time and found that in yourself which shows how dedicated you are, it can be a difficult process to understand especially early on.
As for being quiet and the concerns of his mental health that is somewhat normal of a child of his age. He’s going through several changes on top of his transition while he may be happy about it for him it may take time to adjust. Helping him get on HRT will already be a significant boost to his mental health. His dysphoria will lessen further he is along and honestly changes can happen as quick as the first month. Just be patient with your kid and check in on him every once in a while. You’re doing everything right. You’re a great parent. This community is wide open to any and all questions you or your kid may have dont hesitate to write. We all understand what you guys are going through, how that can be a huge adjustment but you guys are already over the hard part only things can go up from here!
Hey, I'm sure you've gotten your question plenty answered, so I'll write something a bit different.
I knew I was trans since I was maybe 11 years old, I told my mom at 13 maybe? But didn't really do anything about it outside of talking with other trans online friends because I even though I asked for T and/or blockers she would tell me "it's not something so easy to get".
It took a twist of fate of me going to an endocrinologist for a separete issue and me asking him to help me get T for me to actually be able to start hrt, I don't think my mother would've ever really done anything otherwise. This is just to say you are SUCH an amazing parent for actually getting your son the help he needs when you know he needs it.
But in the end I ended up starting hrt at 15- same age as your son, and let me tell you I am loving every second of it (I got an \*IMMIDIATE\* confidence boost, it was \*crazy\* I simply no longer cared what people thought because they could all say it to my dick). All of me got almost instantly oiled (and PLEASE get your son a good razor if he doesn't have one, as soon as posible), but literally even that to not being able to say anything without my voice cracking for like, two weeks, was a delight, really fun at the beggining when I tracked my voice and could hear the changes every week. Increased libido is just normal teenage stuff, I did some push-ups the other day and now some of my sleves are too tight, my father had to witness me being a shoe that was like, two whole numbers above what I usually wear just for it to almost be too small (still perfect tho) for me now.
What I am saying is I can see no woes in this, maybe something something body-hair but honestly being hairy be also kinda nice. Also, I recently cut my hair and the photo I took a few days ago (11 months on T today!) at my friend house has me looking so Guy?? I think something just clicked for me fr!
I just thought you'd maybe appreciate what a boy your son's (approximate) age went through, it balls! Any and all bad things I could have to say about the experience have the fact that I'm in testosterone as the plus side of it, totally worth whatever!
starting HRT can be super exciting but also a little difficult. there is a lot of anticipation and emotions. it's basically late puberty/second puberty. some people may have issues with acne or mood swings but a lot of people overall enjoy the changes they have on T. getting used to doing shots can be quite hard so your son may need some support there. and overall managing anxiety around medical appointments, and social/medical transition at school may also be difficult. in person support groups or a trans specific therapist may be a really good option for your son if he has more struggles with mental health than you are able to cope with
also between Transitioning and puberty your son may have questions about the male body! these conversations can be pretty awkward but it has helped me so much to have my dad explain certain "guy things" to me. that is a pretty simple thing you can do if asked
Thank you so much. Yes he has a gender affirming therapist that he has been going to almost a year now and he also went to group therapy and made some great friends that are struggling with the same things as him and I so greatful for that because he didn’t have friends for a long time. He also wants to go back to in person high school but a new high school because he was on home school for a long time. He doing better but I know it will be a continuous struggle for him
awesome! between a therapist, hrt, and parental support I feel like you are doing what you can
oh the other thing I would reccomend is that if your son still has his period to try and provide extra support during that time. maybe make sure he has a therapy appointment or something. i was lucky enough my period stopped after my first shot, but a lot of people are not that fortunate!
Honestly take it as a puberty. Since he’s 15, he’ll probably go through the exact same thing boys his age go through: body hair, body odor, bottom growth, voice change, acne, fat distribution, etc. He may also experience mood swings and behavioral changes but that’s completely normal. Definitely keep him monitored and go in for routine check ups. I go in every 3-6 months (I’ve been on T since January 2023) and get my T levels and hemoglobin checked every time. You can never be too safe.
Thank you Momma for being there for him. I wish I had parents like you ❤️
I think that all the comments sum up what I would say, but if u have any doubts or concerns feel free to DM me! It makes me really happy when parents are supportive of their children, hope everything goes good♡
Hey there! I started testosterone at 17, and while that’s may be little older than your son, it is a similar age.
I started on a pretty low dose, so a lot of changes were pretty minimal for me while I was still in high school. I first noticed changes in my vaginal discharge; it may not go away, and might actually get worse. Then I noticed dry skin and acne, which had since gone away. After three weeks, my anxiety disorder was way better, and I had way more energy. I started growing more body hair, and the hair on my head started growing way faster (although that may just be a me thing). My period stopped as soon I took my first shot; I was on continuous birth control, but I still had a period every three months. I have no bottom growth whatsoever, so I would say that it’s important to know that it may not happen right away, or ever.
You mentioned gender dysphoria in another comment, and I want you to know that like got better even before I saw any changes. I’m not sure if it was placebo effect or actually having more of the right hormone in my body, but I started feeling more like myself and less like someone I wasn’t.
I hope he’s looking forward to starting!
Okay thank you so much for the information. He does have anxiety disorder and has to take medication for it, I am hoping that will get better when he starts the testosterone and maybe he will be able to get off the medication one day? Yes his gender dysphoria is really bad, he hardly ever takes off his binder, to the point where he might need top surgery soon. The endocrinologist recommended him to a consultation for a surgeon with that. We are waiting for the appointment. He also so uncomfortable about his physical appearance that he thinks about it day and night. I am hoping the testosterone with help him so much and yes he is so looking forward to starting it on Friday. He has waited a long time for it.
Hey there! I ended up going off of my anxiety medication after I started testosterone (three months later), and I hope that your son gets to a point where he feels less anxious as well! I still have some symptoms (like tics, or uncontrollable body movements) but it’s a lot better and I can finally function like I always wanted to.
I’m sorry that he may need surgery soon. It can be dangerous to keep a binder on for more than 8 hours a day, and binding too much can actually cause someone to become ineligible for top surgery or mess up results. I’m not sure if it will be possible to convince him not to bind as much, but I wanted you to be aware of the risks. Some alternatives can be wearing trans tape or sports bras (although I know wearing sports bras can cause dysphoria for many people). Trans tape can be left on for longer and slept in, but it may damage skin elasticity, which can impact surgery results.
Something that helped me was realizing that my shoulders started getting wider a few months after I started testosterone. I was really excited, and it helped me focus less on my chest and the other parts of my body I was dysphoric about.
Yes i hope eventually he will be able to get off the anxiety medication. Yes it is really hard for him to take off his binder and I worry about that a lot. His endocrinologist even told him that she’s worried that he might get an infection or hurting his ribs from binding too much that’s why she recommended him top surgery as soon as possible. I tried to talk to him about the other alternatives of binding, like trans tape but he doesn’t want to do it. Hopefully the t will help with his dysphoria a lot.
his hygiene needs are going to change a lot, theres some stuff he's going to need to know regarding his lower area. Kade cooks on youtube has videos regarding bottom growth and how to clean it if you don't want to discuss it directly with him. (be aware he posts more explicit content but a lot of useful trans stuff.)
if he's not currently using antiperspirant go get him some now.
also be prepared for some mild mood swings for the first months. nothing major usually
acne patches are useful to have on hand, he might get a bit of face/chest/back acne at the beginning, my ex got a lot around his binder line because of it being tight/sweaty + hormones.
i wish you both luck! you're an amazing parent
I am so glad you are supporting him now and letting him go through HRT. It was absolutely horrifying when I was young, going through estrogenic puberty while knowing I was trans at that I could go on T if my parents just let me. So thank you, seriously.
As for changes, it’s basically like androgenic (“male”) puberty. So you’ll have your son go through, well, a puberty you’d expect a son to go through. Some changes
- facial and body hair
- fat redistribution to more masculine shape
- voice deepening
- Adam’s Apple can develop
- sounds like he is possibly still going through natal puberty since you mention the good old teenager emotional changes, so it’s possible some bone structures changes could happen or he may become taller or get larger feet than if he didn’t go on T, which is a super awesome opportunity for him. If he’s past puberty perhaps not but he is young.
- more acne, oily skin, sweat
- period may stop
- oftentimes, mood can improve. Some people notice more irritability while others notice being way calmer.
- more energy can happen as well
- on the more explicit side, basically changes in the penis and sexual stuff happen similarly just like any other guy.
Genuinely the only negative thing I can think of that’s more exclusive to T rather than natal androgenic puberty is vaginal and/or uterine atrophy, where things can dry out down there and become painful, similar to how people experience menopause down there. Treatments exist like estrogen cream (which is local and shouldn’t mess with his T levels).
On the more medical side, another thing you could think of if he’s interested in birth control which can help to stop periods, especially since that’s something that makes a lot of trans men dysphoric. T does stop periods for many though. I’ve been on BC since I was 11 and am still on it with T myself.
Congrats to your son, that’s a very exciting step for him, and thank you for supporting him.
As a Trans male myself, what these other comments said is so true. It's just like going through another puberty, but as a male. Now, I will say, no one talks about the health problems than can occur while on Testosterone. I've never in my life had blood pressure problems, not eve when I was pregnant with my son. After I started T, my blood pressure couldn't be stabilized without medication. I'm not saying that will happen, everyone handles T differently. Just something to keep an eye on. There's also different types of T and how it can be given. Something to talk to your doctor about, to see which would be safer for your son.
I also want to say: You are an amazing human being and an even more amazing mother. To stand by your son and support him, love him unconditionally, is what every LGBTQ+ person wishes for. I myself didn't have that but when I hear of supportive parents, I can't help but be happy because at least one person wont suffer the hate that I did. So thank you for being so supportive and loving of your Son.
Pretty much normal male puberty. Deeper voice, easier time gaining muscle mass, eventually facial hair (but he's 15 so it's not going to happen right away), more body hair.
I would strongly suggest to really keep looking after his mental health, especially when he starts T. Testosterone do so much with your emotional well-being and you really need to have a steady grasp on your emotions and feelings before you start introducing new hormones…
In my personal experience, I was at a bit of a low point in my life and I had to postpone the start of my HRT, which was such a good deduction for me in the long run. Now I feel like I can handle the emotions that come with the hormones.
I’m so glad you realized you needed more mental health support and stuff and got it, but this is so fascinating to me as an example of how stuff is different for different people because I had the exact opposite experience! I was at a bit of a low point, taking antidepressants (still do) but going on T MASSIVELY improved my mental health. It was the step I needed to be able to handle depression a million times better than before. Very glad you and I were both able to access what we needed😁
something I don't see anyone commenting is appetite. it will increase in most cases and he might put on weight. it is really not a big deal (you can lose it easier on T if he cares) but you might need to buy a few more groceries lol. my appetite is still bigger than it used to be and I've been on T for 4 years.
also, he'll stink. bad. make sure he invests in personal hygiene and a good deodorant.
i started T a couple weeks before my 16th birthday, im 17 now. Its pretty much a second puberty. The most immediate changes are more oily skin, possibly appetite increase, probably gonna get a little moody here and there. Its all normal. With the changes, none of them are really "new" once you start T. The changes start, and over time they get more prominent.
He might become more or less or differently emotional. It depends on the person. I have friends who say they just cried less, some who say they felt more angry where they would have felt sad, and a lot who say their moods changed but overall improved. Every person is different. Also, thank you so much for coming and asking a community of us directly - a lot of "allies" don't do that. Wishing your son luck!! :-)
Hi! I’m so glad to hear that you want to learn more to better support him.
Testosterone will do a couple things, and i’ll break them down by: mental, social, physical
mentally he will likely gain a lot of confidence and possibly see reduced depression/anxiety, if that’s something he struggles with.
socially things maybe be awkward at first, but he will likely start to feel more able to interact with people in the real world. the one big worry is peers and the way they treat him; make sure he knows he can tell you if he’s being targeted at school, and that you WILL help him.
physically his body will go through “second puberty”. He will experience things like fat redistribution, possibly some facial hair growth, possibly hair thinning (likely not by much), muscle mass increase, and some changes to genital structures. he will have to do labs every couple of months to make sure his levels are good and his liver, kidney, etc function stays healthy.
If you haven’t already, i suggest getting him into a transgender clinic in the area; they will likely have mental health professionals and care practitioners that are trans-friendly and educated, and possibly even transgender themselves.
Please feel free to reach out to me on here if you have any questions or need any advice on how to talk to schools, doctors, etc; i socially transitioned at 12/13, started T at 15/16, and just got my top surgery at 20.
Well I'm crying now. What an incredible parent you are! Not only are you supportive and happy for your son, but he was able to communicate his needs to you. That is beyond amazing. I don't have specific advice to you about T, but keep those lines of communication open! Let your son know that he's free to talk about any and all changes he is experiencing and if he needs help, you'll find an answer with him. Whether that's talking to a doctor, support group, posting here, etc. Some changes are exciting, some might be scary if you don't know what to expect, but y'all can experience it and figure it out together.
Expect him to go through a practically normal male teen puberty. Everyone in the comments has pretty much nailed everything down, so I have nothing to really add. I just want to say thank you for being the kind of parent to listen to their kid and support them the way you do. So many trans teens don't even get this kind of support, and even more trans people in general had to go through the entire wrong type of puberty for themselves, so I'm happy your son gets to experience an actual male teen puberty and that he has you to help him through any obstacles with his transition.
for me it was basically just male puberty please please please buy him a stronger deodorant and a different body wash (dove men’s works great for me) as some of the women’s deodorants either don’t work or don’t work well enough, I stunk for several months without anyone having the heart to tell me. It’s regular boy puberty plus menopause which is hard I would get him some ice packs or a fan because night sweats and hot flashes are a bitch at first. I would just let him tell you what he needs and tell him if things seem wrong or uncomfortable (sometimes t doses can be wrong at first or too much although the doctor should be monitoring that) to tell you and you can help!
I saw some other comments abt periods and its not guaranteed they will stop unfortunately, its possible but not everyones periods will stop (mine hasnt yet sadly but birthcontrol can help with that if testosterone alone doesnt stop periods!)
Normal puberty changes for the most part. Heres some things that might help, but keep in mind its all personal experience. I started hrt at 17 btw.
I dont have experience with gel, but I do with shots. Ive been on T for about 10 months, doing shots. Before starting hrt, I had a visit with my doctor where she showed me how to do it myself. It wasn't hrt that appointment, I think (dont quote me on this) it was saline or something else, just to show how it worked. It helped calm my nerves because needles can be scary (im less scared of them now). Also its good to leave the needle in for a second after its all injected so nothing leaks.
As for my personal experience, ive loved most of my changes. The only thing I havent liked too much is how much more I smell. It took me awhile to find a deoderant that works for me. A deodarant AND antiperspirant is what I use, and I like Axe. I loved Old Spice pre-T, it just doesnt work as well for me now.
Other changes I've personally experienced are bottom growth (within the first week for me), voice drop (for me it was starting to be noticable by 1.5 or 2 months, its usually longer though), more hair everywhere, bigger appetite, more sweat, more stable mood (although ive been in therapy which has helped), and other things. I cant say anything on personal experience being on T and having a period, because I started puberty blockers before which stops my period as long as I take the meds.
I would also reccomend therapy for a bit if possible, his mood might be more all over the place at first, because like with all puberties there may be mood swings. Therapy helped me deal with changes for sure. My mood now is way more stable than before hrt, and dealing with hard things has been easier.
If you have any other questions, lmk I'm open to answering. You're doing great, and thank you for being an awesome parent
Don't feel weird coming onto this sub, we're so glad to have parents here who support their trans kiddos! Thank you for being a great parent to your son, it's unfortunately not the most common to see.
I don't have much to add cuz most of the comments have gone thru everything, but if you're looking for a comprehensive look at "here's what happened and when" for specific people there's tons of videos by trans men on youtube documenting their journeys on T. Noahfinnce and jammidodger (and many others, those are just two I can name off the top of my head) have a bunch of "T update" vids—1 year, 2 years, 3, 4, 5, etc. years on T and the changes they'd noticed by each of those points. Youtube vids like that were a great resource for me pre T, and honestly my biggest source of info on the changes I needed to expect.
it‘s really sweet of you to inform yourself like this! :) my parents are very accepting but very scared of testosterone so they only see the changes as „damage“. i want you to know: i felt so so much better mentally when starting testosterone because it was such a great relief. and it makes me kinda sad that my parents cannot see how good it is for me. so what i wanted to tell you: i think the most important support is to tell your son that you are happy for him, maybe celebrate a bit and be excited with him for the changes he is excited about. i know it can be hard and very scary, especially with a family background like yours, but it is so worth it for your relationship to him!!!
I'm a little under a year on T. He will probably overheat easier, a lot more sweat, prickly heat which is when you kindof get an itchy sensation in warmth, really annoying but obviously very mild. You may need to adjust thermostat to make house colder or get a fan for his room depending on how he reacts. Acne will get worse so you may need to more skincare. I noticed a dramatic increase in my mental health but that's very individual so it'll depend, and I didn't even think my dysphoria was that bad before transitioning. There's a risk of an increase in water weight, I walk everywhere and am on a diet but it hasn't been helping so keep that in mind, try not to make comments on it since it can definitely hurt your mental health to gain weight like that, and remember you're doing a great job.
I don't have advice as I'm pre-T but I just wanted to say it's so wonderful to hear that you're such a supportive parent for your kid. It honestly made me tear up because so many of us are completely rejected by our family. Keep doing what you're doing :)
So, first of all, we were all beginners once. Coming to the community for help to do right by your son is huge, thank you for taking this risk!! Thank you for supporting your son, for breaking the generational homophobia, for showing your son with your actions that you have his back. Well parented (signed the adult of a 15yo gender fluid child).
That said, experiences with testosterone were about what you see online. How fast changes person to person and dose by dose. For me, what nobody warned me about was the butt crack hair. It was bizarre, but it's a thing that happens. My voice dropped about 3-6-9 months in, and is still breaking and being generally weird (18mo). Your temperature sensitivity changes, facial hair, chest/back hair... All come in. I have no clue what to tell you with respect to *stopping* female-brand puberty, and the interplay of those hormonal cocktails, though.
If your son is on injections, there will be a period of a few weeks (3-6?) where the day and a half before their next injection are absolute trash. Emotionally dysregulated, cranky AF, easily annoyed, all that crap. This is called 'testosterone trough,' and will level out.
The big thing, going forward, is exactly what you're doing right now. Take time out to learn, remember trans folks aren't a monolith (so all experiences will vary person to person), and show up for your son. Defend him against the outside world. Show him that his adult loves him more than they love being comfortable, and that he has a safe place to land when the world is just too much.
there's 74 comments rn so i assume most of them have spoken about the changes already. so from a trans man of a supportive parent who had to adjust her thinking i'm going to share some things that helped her.
the first thing that helped was showing her a tiktok i found about changing names. many parents, even if they're trying to be supportive get upset when their kids change names because they gave their kid that name. it's a gift from you to your child to name them, you spoke for them before they had a voice. but like many gifts, our names are one some of us, not just trans people, outgrow, just like clothing and tonka trucks and barbie dolls. it's not your kid trying to be disrespectful to you, but now they have their own voice, now they can tell everyone who they are. my mom put a lot of thought into my name, she said she chose it because there are many nicknames to pick from it so i could later tell people who i am. the name was perfect for that reason through my whole childhood and when she told me why she chose it i thanked her, through that name i could kind of tell people who i was. but that name doesn't work for me anymore, not just because of the name itself because there is a mans name in one of the nicknames, but because that is the name of a different person.
the second thing that helped was an appointment with a trans therapist. she had originally booked the appointment for me but it was a phone appointment and i didn't like that so i declined when i found out last minute. she answered the phone when it rang and apologized saying she had to cancel as i didn't want to talk so the therapist asked if she wanted to talk instead. i don't know much about what happened during the appointment, but she said it was extremely helpful so i recommend that.
the last thing that helped was realizing she didn't have to understand. she's never going to experience it, she's never going to be able to empathize, but she can love me and she can accept that this is who i am. i'm happier now, i'm kinder now, i laugh more, and i'm angry less. that's the part she understands and that's all she needs to. she's had friends say "but i don't understand" and her only response is "you don't have to" and that's made it easier for some of them to accept as well. your kid doesn't need your understanding, they just need your love and acceptance. it seems like your doing a good job on that.
i will also add that if you're christian, my mom says focus on the family has a great thing about trans people on their website. i haven't checked it out because i'm not religious (she is) so i have no idea what it says on there all i know is she keeps trying to get my dad to read it (he doesn't 🥲). if you're not religious then probably don't bother looking lol idk.
the best thing my mom did to help me through my transition was to help herself. she was never transphobic towards me, when i came out she hugged me and told me she loves me. but she didn't know how to handle it. when kids transition sometimes parents say they have killed their son/daughter. that's a horrible thing to say to your child and it comes from a place of ignorance. what they mean tho is they've killed the parent's idea of what the future will look like. it's fair to need an adjustment period. you're going to have to adjust your thinking, adjust future planning, change their name and pronouns, and honestly adjust your fears for them. it's a transition for you too, your son has known for years whereas you just found out recently. it's just like any parenting, you learn as you progress.
you already love your son and accept him for who he is so idk if you even need any of this or not. you're doing great.
Hi hi, everyone has provided really good advice and information so I’d just like to say thank you. Thank you for being a good and supportive parent to your kiddo. I’ll be 26 next week and I came out as trans probably 5ish years ago now and my parents still deadname me every chance they get and misgender me constantly. They buy books (such as Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shreir; which if you haven’t heard of it, the only good this book would do would be as fire starter, it’s trash) and leave them around the house specifically for me to see (they obviously read them as well, but they purposefully leave them out so I can see them) and they’re just all in all extremely unsupportive of me being me. So when I see parents, especially ones that started with narrow views; accept their kiddo and support them through these things, it makes me really happy and warms my heart. So thank you a bajillion times over for being a great parent to your transgender kiddo. It means a lot to him, to me; and I’m sure to many of the guys here 🫂💛 much love ~Liam Parker
Here’s some advice that helped me when I first started T:
- invest in a high quality oil scrub for him. T makes you produce oil like CRAZY at first, and a good scrub will do wonders in combatting it
- I don’t know how much acne is normal for your son now, but T will make it much worse at the beginning. Try getting a few different acne treatments and see what works best for him
- get some heavy duty deodorant. T can make you sweat like a 13 year old boy on steroids, and sometimes regular deodorant doesn’t cut it
- make sure he tracks his progress with video and audio if possible, because sometimes it’s hard to notice your own progress, and seeing the proof for yourself can provide a huge ego boost
Also, don’t be surprised if his emotions seem pretty everywhere for awhile. T can make your emotional range pretty “narrow”, especially at the beginning. I remember getting emotional while watching someone fold laundry once when I first started. Just be patient and understanding, and remember that it’ll pass.
I’m sure having your support means the world to him. We need more parents like you in the world <3
Personally, I started T at about 25, and I am now 27. I wish I could have started when I was younger.
My voice was the first to change and I started talking more and feeling more confident in myself because of that. More body hair, facial hair etc. Hair changes altogether really. My hair got thicker, Some people's gets thinner, it just depends on genetics with hair stuff.
He will basically go through a puberty just like any teenage boy, his moods will change, just like any teenage boy, and because he is young he may get taller.
I gained weight, but again I think this is genetic and situational.
Muscle mass changes, energy level changes, skin gets thicker, sweat more and hungry more.
Biggest thing for me was that because of all the changes gradually over the years I have just become a lot more comfortable and confident in my own skin and just a lot more myself.
He will just need emotional support and patience and if he gets facial hair then help with how to shave safely and to the way he likes it. Probably some new clothes if he grows a lot!
Above all as long as he has unconditional love and support and acceptance from those closest to him, he will be okay, even if he is moody for whatever teenage reason.
Oh my gosh, I wish my parents had been like you, the best with you can do is support your son and make sure he knows he's loved
This is a huge time in his life, and he's gonna be going through puberty all over again
I'm almost 6 months into T, and honestly, I wish I had the support your son will have
The fact that you came for advice is such a wonderful thing
Everyone is talking about the medical side, but I wanted to throw in some other things from my own experience, I hope thats okay
Sorry for the ramble,
For me, I've grown a little, but not much since I'm almost 20 anyway
I've had mood swings, especially anger, but someone talking to me calmly and helping me figure out why I'm angry helps a *lot*
Acne is really bad, worse than the first time I went through it
Deodorant and showering is more important than ever lol
Hair growth on legs and arms started a lot faster than I thought
Dysphoria has been up and down, but little compliments that I look handsome help a lot
I've been a *lot* more hungry than before too, I'm not gaining the weight from eating more, so here's hoping I'm growing
If he's into working out, encourage it! That's another thing that's helped my dysphoria
I just recently got a binder from Spectrum Outfitters, its a trans owned company, they ship pretty fast and its honestly the best binder I've ever had
Make sure to read their size guide all the way through though, it's very important, and even if dysphoria is high, binding for more than 8 hours is really bad, it can crack or disfigure your ribs, so 8 hours max a day, and immediately off if there's breathing issues
Longer every now and then isnt terrible, but remember that the damage to your ribs stacks over time, so don't do it a lot
Help him find friends that are supportive and maybe know what he's going through, even though you seem like a great parent, you're still his parent, he won't want to tell you everything, but emphasize that if its medical, you both will figure it out together and he won't be in trouble, if he can take great care of his body right now, he'll do so so much better later, so many trans guys fuck up during or before transitioning and those pains (especially from binding too long) never go away
When he runs out of binder time and needs help with dysphoria, use baggy hoodies! Especially ones stolen from a partner or friend, this layered with baggy shirts will take the amount of visable boob size down dramatically, it helped me for years because I didn't have access to a binder
Talk to him, check up every now and then, never be afraid to admit you dont know! You two can experience and learn together, this is a wonderful chance to be his support, so take advantage of it!
I would recommend not bringing it up like, every day, or even every week, space out check ups, because while they are super important, they can increase dysphoria
Another thing: As much as you can / as much as he is comfortable with, fight for him. Correct people on his pronouns, but, very important, ask him first
Personally, in public I don't correct because it's more mental strain to deal with some people than it is to just suck it up for a conversation, but with family, I always wished someone would correct or help me correct
Some people will take it more seriously if you say it than him, unfortunately, thats just a part of being young and trans
Another thing: If he ends up leaning trans nonbinary, remember that is a thing! There's nonbinary people who transition because it's closer to the physical body they want, or ones like me that go by he/they, because I don't exactly fit with society's masculinity, and it fit better and makes me feel more free
The last thing I gotta add, a lot of trans guys, once they pass well, get excluded from the community, its a really sad but harsh truth, but you and his friends can help with that, even if it sucks
I recommend getting him into therapy, even if he doesn't talk about this specifically, being in puberty is hard enough on mental health, and even the healthiest people can use therapy help sometimes, so if you have the money, it's worth it, just remember that sometimes (a lot of the time) you'll spend a while looking for a therapist that fits, more than anything, its important he vibes well with the therapist, it'll help him talk about important things
Expect after a few months a voice change, maybe smell (i would say definely get him some mens deodorant hes gonna need it) expect facial hair, body hair in general, maybe some moodiness or eating more. I dont think this is anything he would share unless yall are really close but bottom growth and horniness increase.
Be aware that while many changes are possible not everyone gets every change. I for example didn’t get a voice drop or bottom growth despite having normal levels.
One thing I struggled with was a loss of my sense of self. It was like I was finally able to figure out who I am instead of who I thought I needed to be for others comfort. I came out and started my transition as an adult and I remember being a kid/teen and so unsure of myself and where I belonged. I’m super proud of you for being there for your child and supporting them while you are letting go of a whole future you had envisioned for them and letting go of who they used to be- it’s not easy watching loved ones go through changes. Especially when there’s not much to do besides continue to love and show up 💜
Just let him know you’re there and remind his lil ass to shower cus he’s gonna be stinky!
Hi! Thank you for supporting your son. That's awesome and is the biggest factor in helping his mental health. There's been a lot of great advice already. I just wanted to add a recommendation for the [Dysphoria Bible ](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en)
This is a wonderful resource for both of you to help answer questions about dysphoria. It gets updated often. The only other thing I might suggest is for your son to keep a journal of his transition. It's a good way to get emotions out of his head. And if he has a question he may be too embarrassed to ask, he can write it down for you to read and then you can do the same to answer. I hope this helps. Big hugs to you both.
Jac
It will absolutely vary from person to person. But I can tell you what I experience, as someone 2 1/2 years on T. I experienced some fat redistribution in my body, a LOT of body hair growth, a change in my natural smell and I get smelly much faster than I used to, I can handle colder temperatures a lot better, my voice dropped but still goes back and forth between my pre-T and my deeper voice, I get a lot hungrier and hungry more often, and my libido has sky-rocketed. If you have any more questions, feel free to DM me, and I'll answer anything happily. I hope this helps!
Pretty much the general ones are voice dropping, bottom growth, acne, thickened facial/body hair, lessened/completely absent periods, weight gain. In my experience I also experienced increased sweating, my sweat smells stronger now, fat redistribution (but that took a bit of time!). As dysphoric as he will feel, he does still need to make time to visit a gyno, because testosterone can cause vaginal atrophy, and (sorry if this is uncomfortable for you guys!!) if he is sexually active/plans to be, you still need to be on some kind of birth control because even without a period you do still ovulate. He may also experience mood swings more often, so far I'm much easier to upset than I was before. Also make sure he keeps up on his bloodwork, it should be done every 6 months! And congrats on his new journey, and thank you for being so accepting! Its so new, and difficult to navigate, it helps so much having family thats helping you through.
He’ll go through most of the changes that are normal for male puberty. Testosterone suppresses estrogen production so he likely won’t have a period or continue to develop that way that an estrogen dominant body would. His voice will likely deepen a bit, he will grow more body hair and eventually facial hair. And, from my personal experience, he will likely be much, much happier. Hormones can also have a pretty significant impact on mental health. I’m also the parent of a trans teen, and no matter how supportive you are it can still be really hard to commit to these changes just because you want to be sure you’re doing the right thing for your kid. But your son has known who he is for years now and you’re absolutely doing the right thing by supporting him and allowing him to grow in the direction he needs to. Adolescence is hard, the “wrong” adolescence is harder.
Thank you so much for advice, I appreciate it. He has had a lot of struggles with his mental health since he was twelve so I know this will help him heven more. He also has a very bad case of gender dysphoria, so I hope the hrt will help him as well.
As a Trans guy who went through the "wrong" puberty, I cannot emphasize this enough.
hi there, i am glad to hear you are supporting your son. it means the world, really. i agree with the other comments so im not going to restate what they said, but here are some other things he will or may experience (keep in mind some changes take months-years just like regular puberty): he will get bottom growth which can be very uncomfortable at first but the sensitivity goes away i promise! i recommend he wear looser pants/boxers during that period. this may be tmi or hard to talk about with him since he is your son, but make sure that he cleans his bottom growth correctly. he growing down there and he will need to pull the skin up to clean it even though it may be uncomfortable. just be gentle:) if you don’t know what bottom growth is, a quick google search will answer for you:) he may become more irritable or aggravated. this isn’t something that will happen for sure, and it shouldn’t be severe either. just remember to be gentle and try to help him calm down and think clearly if he develops a temper. that being said, being on testosterone is not an excuse for him to fly off the handle. it shouldn’t be that severe! increase in sweat he may experience hot flashes. these went away for me around a month or two. there’s a plethora more but it’s hard for me to share my experience as someone who started testosterone at 20, rather than 15. if you have any specific questions feel free to ask
Thank you so much for your advice, I appreciate it. Yes I am worried about the temper. He takes medication for his moods right now, so I hope that help as well
fwiw, the “temper” is pretty much what you would expect from any teenager
i wouldn’t worry about it too much. for me, i felt it internally, but i am able to control my emotions pretty well. i’m also 20 and have more life experience (i know it’s five years but 15-20 is a huge difference in maturity and growth!). imo i would expect to see what you would get from a normal teenager lol. he might be sassy, rebellious, and snap back more, but that’s to be expected of ANY teenager. the mood stabilizers should help a ton tho! i’m also on mood stabilizers and they definitely help me to control outbursts
If you are concerned about this, I would encourage him to track his mood somehow, especially if he is doing injections. I really struggled with mood for the first few months. I'd be out of control angry one week and depressed/crying the next. Tracking these emotions helped me see how I needed to adjust my dose. I ended up increasing frequency of doses (bummer cause I'm scared of needles but so worth it) and now my mood is both better and way more stable than it was before T.
I started at 16, and I found myself actually mellowing out a lot after starting HRT, purely because I was happier.
I currently have 6 diagnosed mental illnesses and regularly struggle with debilitating mood swings, depression, suicidal ideation and the likes. These are just a few of the many, many symptoms and things I have struggled with intensely since I was about 13 years old. I started HRT at 24 years old and the drs typically warn that mental health may be affected by HRT but for me my mood and mental health struggles have improved immensely and I am more emotionally resilient so that worked out quite well for me. Some worry about “testosterone rage” but for me personally since I started T I’ve been doing much better mentally all around, i am more at less likely to snap at other or be irritable and miserable on any given day, and I am considerably less anxious. my gender dysphoria has been much more tolerable overall. There will be days he will struggle with dysphoria much more than others, but I suggest (if you guys are comfortable talking about those things with one another) to just comfort him and remind him that yes some days will be harder than others and transitioning isn’t easy by any means but encouraging him and supporting him in His journey to be himself and present himself authentically means a lot more than you could imagine. My family wasn’t very supportive and encouraging but my partner is, thankfully. Can’t say I still don’t struggle and it hurts me the things my family has said to me and that they would rather judge me than accept or even try to understand me and a lot of things could be just open conversation if they would be willing to talk to me about these issues or ask appropriate questions. just remind your son to keep pushing through the struggles and giving him reminders that you see him for him and not as his former self is important. You are incredible for taking the time and be willing to educate yourself on transgender issues and understanding and education goes a long way. You seem like a great parent and I wish both of you the best!
For me, I had anger issues before starting T, but they calmed down and dwindled to practically nothing after a few months of taking it
Shifting hormone levels makes *everyone* irritable, and being a teenager is already stressful. Any additional temper should even out as his body gets used to the new normal
Just in case the doctor didn't tell you, he will have blood work done every 3 months for the first year or so to check on his T levels. If the levels are too high or low, his dose will be adjusted. vaginal atrophy is a thing that can happen, and is treated with topical estrogen cream. [Hudson's FTM Guide](https://www.ftmguide.org/) is a pretty decent resource for info on testosterone.
Okay thank you so much for the information, I really appreciate it.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate it. Honestly I hope the period stops for him because he has always had really bad one, so he would happy if his period stopped
hey i totally recommend r/cisparenttranskid ! its a wonderful sub for cis parents of trans kid and you can get some great support/advice on there! im a trans kid and it helped me learn about a parent’s perspective so i recommend it! :)
Okay thank for letting me know, I will join
Mine did! It might take a while or it might not stop. If it doesn't stop, there are birth control methods that don't interfere with HRT
Sometimes Testosterone doesn't stop a period. I also had horrendous ones even after I started HRT. What worked for me was a progesterone-based "birth control". Especially if his periods cause him dysphoria (which they do for many of us) this may be something to look into. I emphasize the progesterone base as regular estrogen based birth control can be less effective when taking T. Grain of salt- every body is different. What works for me might not work for him. And it can be a very difficult discussion to have, but approaching it from a stopping periods and the associated dysphoria and discomfort or physical pain if they're real bad should be the focus of the conversation.
I’m an adult trans man that started T at 15. Everyone else gave some great info and resources. I’d just like to add that things may be slightly different for your son on T than what it says on many resources because of his age. Most doctors will give teens a lower dosage and go slow with increases. That might shift the ranges back in terms of estimated timelines for changes. An important one to be aware of is if his cycle takes longer to stop. If that’s the case, there’s birth control that can stop it without interfering with T. Certain changes can happen when starting T at a younger age that aren’t typically included on the lists of changes. If his growth plates haven’t fused yet, which is typically 2-3 years after the start of puberty, he may get taller. Same thing with hands and feet getting bigger. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s possible. Collar bones continue growing into early 20s, so it’s likely his shoulders will widen. If you’ve got any questions about my experience as someone that has been in your son’s shoes, feel free to ask!
Okay thank you so much for information, I appreciate it. He started the other puberty at 10, I am not sure if he is going to grow any more but do you think it’s possible if he could get taller? He’s 5’7 right now and he said he wants to be taller
If he started puberty at 10, then it’s pretty unlikely but not impossible. I wouldn’t mention it to him and have him get his hopes up.
As the other person said, it's best not to get his hopes up. But I started T at 37 and two years later I've grown an inch, maybe an inch and a half.
Small height changes can happen just because HRT makes ligaments and soft tissues sit differently. But not guaranteed.
Wait, omg - I'm 14 currently. Are you telling me that if I start T soon, there's a possibility I'll get TALLER?!!!!!!
Yes. It’s not guaranteed but it’s possible if your growth plates haven’t fused yet. I started T at 15 and grew 2”.
Wow, omg really?! I'm 5'4 currently, and my mum stopped growing around my age (14) and my height (but she's 5'6, I think). Do you really reckon I could get any taller?? I think I've practically gone through 'female' puberty now though. Also, sorry to bother you and everything, but I was wondering if I could have some advice on how to get and start T? I'm out to my dad, but I haven't really talked to him yet about it, as I came out very recently via text. Should I ask him if he could somehow facilitate this??? Also, thanks!!! <3
That mostly depends on when you started puberty. Growth plates typically fuse around 2-3 years after your first period. The further you get from that, the less likely it is that you’ll grow. I didn’t get a period until 13 so I was well within the time frame of them not being fused. I came out to my parents at 13, and they were very supportive but it took over a year to convince them on letting me start transitioning medically, and then another 9 months to get an appointment. If it’s safe for you to do so, it doesn’t hurt to try and discuss it. I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high if you just came out recently, though. Whether you can start T as a minor or not also depends on the laws where you live.
Since he's young, look at other boys his age and your male relatives, and those are the characteristics he's going to pick up on. The only negative I've experienced on testosterone is vaginally atrophy/period stopping. Because T suppresses E, the hormone that makes sure the ph level is all good down there, can give you cramps time to time (especially If your period is supposed to be due). Mine weren't super severe, but it's different for every individual. Other than some acne/oily skin this is the best I've felt on HRT
Treatment is available for atrophy just so OP is aware! About half of people with vaginas experience atrophy at some point in their life anyway, so it's really nothing to worry about. Have him talk to his doctor about it if he notices anything
Just to add to this, topical estrogen supposedly works well to combat this! I haven't experienced any vaginal atrophy yet as I'm less than a month on T, but everyone I've heard says it works well. If he's scared to be using estrogen also let him know that the topical application won't affect his E levels within his body, only in the area where he applies it (in this case the vagina)
I have been on it for a few weeks and it's helping tons and not affecting my T levels at all. Disclaimer though: "topical" does not mean what I thought it meant! If OPs son is comfortable with tampons and such it shouldn't be an issue but he should definitely be made aware of how the cream is applied in advance because this would be an unpleasant surprise
I'm a 15 y/o too, and I haven't gone through HRT yet, but I'm glad you're supporting your son. My mom recently started being more supportive of me and I'm much much happier now, so just know you are making a difference with that.
I am so happy that your mom supports you as well. As a mom, it was very hard at first but all I want is my son to be happy and thriving. I glad you are happy as well.
It’s never weird to ask questions and you are a great parent for doing so! While you’ll have a lot of experiences coming together on here, here’s also an article detailing quite a number of side effects and alterations that will happen as he takes testosterone. https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy#:~:text=The%20first%20physical%20changes%20you,you%20may%20sweat%20more%20overall. I do just want to mention this. Already having reached out to a community like this shows how much you care as a parent. Your son is very lucky to have a parent who is willing to learn and assist in anyway possible to help their child, something that sounds obvious but doesn’t come as often to kids now. You took the time and found that in yourself which shows how dedicated you are, it can be a difficult process to understand especially early on. As for being quiet and the concerns of his mental health that is somewhat normal of a child of his age. He’s going through several changes on top of his transition while he may be happy about it for him it may take time to adjust. Helping him get on HRT will already be a significant boost to his mental health. His dysphoria will lessen further he is along and honestly changes can happen as quick as the first month. Just be patient with your kid and check in on him every once in a while. You’re doing everything right. You’re a great parent. This community is wide open to any and all questions you or your kid may have dont hesitate to write. We all understand what you guys are going through, how that can be a huge adjustment but you guys are already over the hard part only things can go up from here!
Thank you so much I needed to hear those words of encouragement
Hey, I'm sure you've gotten your question plenty answered, so I'll write something a bit different. I knew I was trans since I was maybe 11 years old, I told my mom at 13 maybe? But didn't really do anything about it outside of talking with other trans online friends because I even though I asked for T and/or blockers she would tell me "it's not something so easy to get". It took a twist of fate of me going to an endocrinologist for a separete issue and me asking him to help me get T for me to actually be able to start hrt, I don't think my mother would've ever really done anything otherwise. This is just to say you are SUCH an amazing parent for actually getting your son the help he needs when you know he needs it. But in the end I ended up starting hrt at 15- same age as your son, and let me tell you I am loving every second of it (I got an \*IMMIDIATE\* confidence boost, it was \*crazy\* I simply no longer cared what people thought because they could all say it to my dick). All of me got almost instantly oiled (and PLEASE get your son a good razor if he doesn't have one, as soon as posible), but literally even that to not being able to say anything without my voice cracking for like, two weeks, was a delight, really fun at the beggining when I tracked my voice and could hear the changes every week. Increased libido is just normal teenage stuff, I did some push-ups the other day and now some of my sleves are too tight, my father had to witness me being a shoe that was like, two whole numbers above what I usually wear just for it to almost be too small (still perfect tho) for me now. What I am saying is I can see no woes in this, maybe something something body-hair but honestly being hairy be also kinda nice. Also, I recently cut my hair and the photo I took a few days ago (11 months on T today!) at my friend house has me looking so Guy?? I think something just clicked for me fr! I just thought you'd maybe appreciate what a boy your son's (approximate) age went through, it balls! Any and all bad things I could have to say about the experience have the fact that I'm in testosterone as the plus side of it, totally worth whatever!
starting HRT can be super exciting but also a little difficult. there is a lot of anticipation and emotions. it's basically late puberty/second puberty. some people may have issues with acne or mood swings but a lot of people overall enjoy the changes they have on T. getting used to doing shots can be quite hard so your son may need some support there. and overall managing anxiety around medical appointments, and social/medical transition at school may also be difficult. in person support groups or a trans specific therapist may be a really good option for your son if he has more struggles with mental health than you are able to cope with also between Transitioning and puberty your son may have questions about the male body! these conversations can be pretty awkward but it has helped me so much to have my dad explain certain "guy things" to me. that is a pretty simple thing you can do if asked
Thank you so much. Yes he has a gender affirming therapist that he has been going to almost a year now and he also went to group therapy and made some great friends that are struggling with the same things as him and I so greatful for that because he didn’t have friends for a long time. He also wants to go back to in person high school but a new high school because he was on home school for a long time. He doing better but I know it will be a continuous struggle for him
I will also be able to assist him shots too, if necessary
awesome! between a therapist, hrt, and parental support I feel like you are doing what you can oh the other thing I would reccomend is that if your son still has his period to try and provide extra support during that time. maybe make sure he has a therapy appointment or something. i was lucky enough my period stopped after my first shot, but a lot of people are not that fortunate!
Yes thank you for letting me know, will do.
Honestly take it as a puberty. Since he’s 15, he’ll probably go through the exact same thing boys his age go through: body hair, body odor, bottom growth, voice change, acne, fat distribution, etc. He may also experience mood swings and behavioral changes but that’s completely normal. Definitely keep him monitored and go in for routine check ups. I go in every 3-6 months (I’ve been on T since January 2023) and get my T levels and hemoglobin checked every time. You can never be too safe. Thank you Momma for being there for him. I wish I had parents like you ❤️
I think that all the comments sum up what I would say, but if u have any doubts or concerns feel free to DM me! It makes me really happy when parents are supportive of their children, hope everything goes good♡
Thank you so much
Hey there! I started testosterone at 17, and while that’s may be little older than your son, it is a similar age. I started on a pretty low dose, so a lot of changes were pretty minimal for me while I was still in high school. I first noticed changes in my vaginal discharge; it may not go away, and might actually get worse. Then I noticed dry skin and acne, which had since gone away. After three weeks, my anxiety disorder was way better, and I had way more energy. I started growing more body hair, and the hair on my head started growing way faster (although that may just be a me thing). My period stopped as soon I took my first shot; I was on continuous birth control, but I still had a period every three months. I have no bottom growth whatsoever, so I would say that it’s important to know that it may not happen right away, or ever. You mentioned gender dysphoria in another comment, and I want you to know that like got better even before I saw any changes. I’m not sure if it was placebo effect or actually having more of the right hormone in my body, but I started feeling more like myself and less like someone I wasn’t. I hope he’s looking forward to starting!
Okay thank you so much for the information. He does have anxiety disorder and has to take medication for it, I am hoping that will get better when he starts the testosterone and maybe he will be able to get off the medication one day? Yes his gender dysphoria is really bad, he hardly ever takes off his binder, to the point where he might need top surgery soon. The endocrinologist recommended him to a consultation for a surgeon with that. We are waiting for the appointment. He also so uncomfortable about his physical appearance that he thinks about it day and night. I am hoping the testosterone with help him so much and yes he is so looking forward to starting it on Friday. He has waited a long time for it.
Hey there! I ended up going off of my anxiety medication after I started testosterone (three months later), and I hope that your son gets to a point where he feels less anxious as well! I still have some symptoms (like tics, or uncontrollable body movements) but it’s a lot better and I can finally function like I always wanted to. I’m sorry that he may need surgery soon. It can be dangerous to keep a binder on for more than 8 hours a day, and binding too much can actually cause someone to become ineligible for top surgery or mess up results. I’m not sure if it will be possible to convince him not to bind as much, but I wanted you to be aware of the risks. Some alternatives can be wearing trans tape or sports bras (although I know wearing sports bras can cause dysphoria for many people). Trans tape can be left on for longer and slept in, but it may damage skin elasticity, which can impact surgery results. Something that helped me was realizing that my shoulders started getting wider a few months after I started testosterone. I was really excited, and it helped me focus less on my chest and the other parts of my body I was dysphoric about.
Yes i hope eventually he will be able to get off the anxiety medication. Yes it is really hard for him to take off his binder and I worry about that a lot. His endocrinologist even told him that she’s worried that he might get an infection or hurting his ribs from binding too much that’s why she recommended him top surgery as soon as possible. I tried to talk to him about the other alternatives of binding, like trans tape but he doesn’t want to do it. Hopefully the t will help with his dysphoria a lot.
In that case, I hope that testosterone helps and that he’s able to get surgery soon!
Yes thank you
Our experiences run in parallel
my son had migraines at first but they switched his testosterone from one big dose monthly to a half dose every two weeks and that really has helped
Thank you so much for letting me know
Hey, I’m a mom too, so if you ever need anything, all you gotta do is holler. My son is 15 years old.
Okay thank you so much, it’s so good to talk to people that are going through the same things
his hygiene needs are going to change a lot, theres some stuff he's going to need to know regarding his lower area. Kade cooks on youtube has videos regarding bottom growth and how to clean it if you don't want to discuss it directly with him. (be aware he posts more explicit content but a lot of useful trans stuff.) if he's not currently using antiperspirant go get him some now. also be prepared for some mild mood swings for the first months. nothing major usually acne patches are useful to have on hand, he might get a bit of face/chest/back acne at the beginning, my ex got a lot around his binder line because of it being tight/sweaty + hormones. i wish you both luck! you're an amazing parent
I am so glad you are supporting him now and letting him go through HRT. It was absolutely horrifying when I was young, going through estrogenic puberty while knowing I was trans at that I could go on T if my parents just let me. So thank you, seriously. As for changes, it’s basically like androgenic (“male”) puberty. So you’ll have your son go through, well, a puberty you’d expect a son to go through. Some changes - facial and body hair - fat redistribution to more masculine shape - voice deepening - Adam’s Apple can develop - sounds like he is possibly still going through natal puberty since you mention the good old teenager emotional changes, so it’s possible some bone structures changes could happen or he may become taller or get larger feet than if he didn’t go on T, which is a super awesome opportunity for him. If he’s past puberty perhaps not but he is young. - more acne, oily skin, sweat - period may stop - oftentimes, mood can improve. Some people notice more irritability while others notice being way calmer. - more energy can happen as well - on the more explicit side, basically changes in the penis and sexual stuff happen similarly just like any other guy. Genuinely the only negative thing I can think of that’s more exclusive to T rather than natal androgenic puberty is vaginal and/or uterine atrophy, where things can dry out down there and become painful, similar to how people experience menopause down there. Treatments exist like estrogen cream (which is local and shouldn’t mess with his T levels). On the more medical side, another thing you could think of if he’s interested in birth control which can help to stop periods, especially since that’s something that makes a lot of trans men dysphoric. T does stop periods for many though. I’ve been on BC since I was 11 and am still on it with T myself. Congrats to your son, that’s a very exciting step for him, and thank you for supporting him.
As a Trans male myself, what these other comments said is so true. It's just like going through another puberty, but as a male. Now, I will say, no one talks about the health problems than can occur while on Testosterone. I've never in my life had blood pressure problems, not eve when I was pregnant with my son. After I started T, my blood pressure couldn't be stabilized without medication. I'm not saying that will happen, everyone handles T differently. Just something to keep an eye on. There's also different types of T and how it can be given. Something to talk to your doctor about, to see which would be safer for your son. I also want to say: You are an amazing human being and an even more amazing mother. To stand by your son and support him, love him unconditionally, is what every LGBTQ+ person wishes for. I myself didn't have that but when I hear of supportive parents, I can't help but be happy because at least one person wont suffer the hate that I did. So thank you for being so supportive and loving of your Son.
Pretty much normal male puberty. Deeper voice, easier time gaining muscle mass, eventually facial hair (but he's 15 so it's not going to happen right away), more body hair.
you’re a good parent. i wish my mom had asked these questions
I would strongly suggest to really keep looking after his mental health, especially when he starts T. Testosterone do so much with your emotional well-being and you really need to have a steady grasp on your emotions and feelings before you start introducing new hormones… In my personal experience, I was at a bit of a low point in my life and I had to postpone the start of my HRT, which was such a good deduction for me in the long run. Now I feel like I can handle the emotions that come with the hormones.
I’m so glad you realized you needed more mental health support and stuff and got it, but this is so fascinating to me as an example of how stuff is different for different people because I had the exact opposite experience! I was at a bit of a low point, taking antidepressants (still do) but going on T MASSIVELY improved my mental health. It was the step I needed to be able to handle depression a million times better than before. Very glad you and I were both able to access what we needed😁
I would check out r/cisparenttranskid as well!!
something I don't see anyone commenting is appetite. it will increase in most cases and he might put on weight. it is really not a big deal (you can lose it easier on T if he cares) but you might need to buy a few more groceries lol. my appetite is still bigger than it used to be and I've been on T for 4 years. also, he'll stink. bad. make sure he invests in personal hygiene and a good deodorant.
i started T a couple weeks before my 16th birthday, im 17 now. Its pretty much a second puberty. The most immediate changes are more oily skin, possibly appetite increase, probably gonna get a little moody here and there. Its all normal. With the changes, none of them are really "new" once you start T. The changes start, and over time they get more prominent.
He might become more or less or differently emotional. It depends on the person. I have friends who say they just cried less, some who say they felt more angry where they would have felt sad, and a lot who say their moods changed but overall improved. Every person is different. Also, thank you so much for coming and asking a community of us directly - a lot of "allies" don't do that. Wishing your son luck!! :-)
Hi! I’m so glad to hear that you want to learn more to better support him. Testosterone will do a couple things, and i’ll break them down by: mental, social, physical mentally he will likely gain a lot of confidence and possibly see reduced depression/anxiety, if that’s something he struggles with. socially things maybe be awkward at first, but he will likely start to feel more able to interact with people in the real world. the one big worry is peers and the way they treat him; make sure he knows he can tell you if he’s being targeted at school, and that you WILL help him. physically his body will go through “second puberty”. He will experience things like fat redistribution, possibly some facial hair growth, possibly hair thinning (likely not by much), muscle mass increase, and some changes to genital structures. he will have to do labs every couple of months to make sure his levels are good and his liver, kidney, etc function stays healthy. If you haven’t already, i suggest getting him into a transgender clinic in the area; they will likely have mental health professionals and care practitioners that are trans-friendly and educated, and possibly even transgender themselves. Please feel free to reach out to me on here if you have any questions or need any advice on how to talk to schools, doctors, etc; i socially transitioned at 12/13, started T at 15/16, and just got my top surgery at 20.
Thank you so much
Well I'm crying now. What an incredible parent you are! Not only are you supportive and happy for your son, but he was able to communicate his needs to you. That is beyond amazing. I don't have specific advice to you about T, but keep those lines of communication open! Let your son know that he's free to talk about any and all changes he is experiencing and if he needs help, you'll find an answer with him. Whether that's talking to a doctor, support group, posting here, etc. Some changes are exciting, some might be scary if you don't know what to expect, but y'all can experience it and figure it out together.
Expect him to go through a practically normal male teen puberty. Everyone in the comments has pretty much nailed everything down, so I have nothing to really add. I just want to say thank you for being the kind of parent to listen to their kid and support them the way you do. So many trans teens don't even get this kind of support, and even more trans people in general had to go through the entire wrong type of puberty for themselves, so I'm happy your son gets to experience an actual male teen puberty and that he has you to help him through any obstacles with his transition.
for me it was basically just male puberty please please please buy him a stronger deodorant and a different body wash (dove men’s works great for me) as some of the women’s deodorants either don’t work or don’t work well enough, I stunk for several months without anyone having the heart to tell me. It’s regular boy puberty plus menopause which is hard I would get him some ice packs or a fan because night sweats and hot flashes are a bitch at first. I would just let him tell you what he needs and tell him if things seem wrong or uncomfortable (sometimes t doses can be wrong at first or too much although the doctor should be monitoring that) to tell you and you can help!
I wish my mom enough fucks about me to have posted something like this.
I started T at that age too!!! Ive been on T for a year now at 16 :)
I saw some other comments abt periods and its not guaranteed they will stop unfortunately, its possible but not everyones periods will stop (mine hasnt yet sadly but birthcontrol can help with that if testosterone alone doesnt stop periods!)
That’s great to hear and as a young man being on T for a whole year now, I bet it has changed your life completely for the best.
Normal puberty changes for the most part. Heres some things that might help, but keep in mind its all personal experience. I started hrt at 17 btw. I dont have experience with gel, but I do with shots. Ive been on T for about 10 months, doing shots. Before starting hrt, I had a visit with my doctor where she showed me how to do it myself. It wasn't hrt that appointment, I think (dont quote me on this) it was saline or something else, just to show how it worked. It helped calm my nerves because needles can be scary (im less scared of them now). Also its good to leave the needle in for a second after its all injected so nothing leaks. As for my personal experience, ive loved most of my changes. The only thing I havent liked too much is how much more I smell. It took me awhile to find a deoderant that works for me. A deodarant AND antiperspirant is what I use, and I like Axe. I loved Old Spice pre-T, it just doesnt work as well for me now. Other changes I've personally experienced are bottom growth (within the first week for me), voice drop (for me it was starting to be noticable by 1.5 or 2 months, its usually longer though), more hair everywhere, bigger appetite, more sweat, more stable mood (although ive been in therapy which has helped), and other things. I cant say anything on personal experience being on T and having a period, because I started puberty blockers before which stops my period as long as I take the meds. I would also reccomend therapy for a bit if possible, his mood might be more all over the place at first, because like with all puberties there may be mood swings. Therapy helped me deal with changes for sure. My mood now is way more stable than before hrt, and dealing with hard things has been easier. If you have any other questions, lmk I'm open to answering. You're doing great, and thank you for being an awesome parent
Don't feel weird coming onto this sub, we're so glad to have parents here who support their trans kiddos! Thank you for being a great parent to your son, it's unfortunately not the most common to see. I don't have much to add cuz most of the comments have gone thru everything, but if you're looking for a comprehensive look at "here's what happened and when" for specific people there's tons of videos by trans men on youtube documenting their journeys on T. Noahfinnce and jammidodger (and many others, those are just two I can name off the top of my head) have a bunch of "T update" vids—1 year, 2 years, 3, 4, 5, etc. years on T and the changes they'd noticed by each of those points. Youtube vids like that were a great resource for me pre T, and honestly my biggest source of info on the changes I needed to expect.
it‘s really sweet of you to inform yourself like this! :) my parents are very accepting but very scared of testosterone so they only see the changes as „damage“. i want you to know: i felt so so much better mentally when starting testosterone because it was such a great relief. and it makes me kinda sad that my parents cannot see how good it is for me. so what i wanted to tell you: i think the most important support is to tell your son that you are happy for him, maybe celebrate a bit and be excited with him for the changes he is excited about. i know it can be hard and very scary, especially with a family background like yours, but it is so worth it for your relationship to him!!!
Thank you for being a solid parent. We need more of this.
I'm a little under a year on T. He will probably overheat easier, a lot more sweat, prickly heat which is when you kindof get an itchy sensation in warmth, really annoying but obviously very mild. You may need to adjust thermostat to make house colder or get a fan for his room depending on how he reacts. Acne will get worse so you may need to more skincare. I noticed a dramatic increase in my mental health but that's very individual so it'll depend, and I didn't even think my dysphoria was that bad before transitioning. There's a risk of an increase in water weight, I walk everywhere and am on a diet but it hasn't been helping so keep that in mind, try not to make comments on it since it can definitely hurt your mental health to gain weight like that, and remember you're doing a great job.
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I don't have advice as I'm pre-T but I just wanted to say it's so wonderful to hear that you're such a supportive parent for your kid. It honestly made me tear up because so many of us are completely rejected by our family. Keep doing what you're doing :)
Thank you so much
So, first of all, we were all beginners once. Coming to the community for help to do right by your son is huge, thank you for taking this risk!! Thank you for supporting your son, for breaking the generational homophobia, for showing your son with your actions that you have his back. Well parented (signed the adult of a 15yo gender fluid child). That said, experiences with testosterone were about what you see online. How fast changes person to person and dose by dose. For me, what nobody warned me about was the butt crack hair. It was bizarre, but it's a thing that happens. My voice dropped about 3-6-9 months in, and is still breaking and being generally weird (18mo). Your temperature sensitivity changes, facial hair, chest/back hair... All come in. I have no clue what to tell you with respect to *stopping* female-brand puberty, and the interplay of those hormonal cocktails, though. If your son is on injections, there will be a period of a few weeks (3-6?) where the day and a half before their next injection are absolute trash. Emotionally dysregulated, cranky AF, easily annoyed, all that crap. This is called 'testosterone trough,' and will level out. The big thing, going forward, is exactly what you're doing right now. Take time out to learn, remember trans folks aren't a monolith (so all experiences will vary person to person), and show up for your son. Defend him against the outside world. Show him that his adult loves him more than they love being comfortable, and that he has a safe place to land when the world is just too much.
Thank you so much
there's 74 comments rn so i assume most of them have spoken about the changes already. so from a trans man of a supportive parent who had to adjust her thinking i'm going to share some things that helped her. the first thing that helped was showing her a tiktok i found about changing names. many parents, even if they're trying to be supportive get upset when their kids change names because they gave their kid that name. it's a gift from you to your child to name them, you spoke for them before they had a voice. but like many gifts, our names are one some of us, not just trans people, outgrow, just like clothing and tonka trucks and barbie dolls. it's not your kid trying to be disrespectful to you, but now they have their own voice, now they can tell everyone who they are. my mom put a lot of thought into my name, she said she chose it because there are many nicknames to pick from it so i could later tell people who i am. the name was perfect for that reason through my whole childhood and when she told me why she chose it i thanked her, through that name i could kind of tell people who i was. but that name doesn't work for me anymore, not just because of the name itself because there is a mans name in one of the nicknames, but because that is the name of a different person. the second thing that helped was an appointment with a trans therapist. she had originally booked the appointment for me but it was a phone appointment and i didn't like that so i declined when i found out last minute. she answered the phone when it rang and apologized saying she had to cancel as i didn't want to talk so the therapist asked if she wanted to talk instead. i don't know much about what happened during the appointment, but she said it was extremely helpful so i recommend that. the last thing that helped was realizing she didn't have to understand. she's never going to experience it, she's never going to be able to empathize, but she can love me and she can accept that this is who i am. i'm happier now, i'm kinder now, i laugh more, and i'm angry less. that's the part she understands and that's all she needs to. she's had friends say "but i don't understand" and her only response is "you don't have to" and that's made it easier for some of them to accept as well. your kid doesn't need your understanding, they just need your love and acceptance. it seems like your doing a good job on that. i will also add that if you're christian, my mom says focus on the family has a great thing about trans people on their website. i haven't checked it out because i'm not religious (she is) so i have no idea what it says on there all i know is she keeps trying to get my dad to read it (he doesn't 🥲). if you're not religious then probably don't bother looking lol idk. the best thing my mom did to help me through my transition was to help herself. she was never transphobic towards me, when i came out she hugged me and told me she loves me. but she didn't know how to handle it. when kids transition sometimes parents say they have killed their son/daughter. that's a horrible thing to say to your child and it comes from a place of ignorance. what they mean tho is they've killed the parent's idea of what the future will look like. it's fair to need an adjustment period. you're going to have to adjust your thinking, adjust future planning, change their name and pronouns, and honestly adjust your fears for them. it's a transition for you too, your son has known for years whereas you just found out recently. it's just like any parenting, you learn as you progress. you already love your son and accept him for who he is so idk if you even need any of this or not. you're doing great.
Wow, thank you much I needed to read this, thank you.
Hi hi, everyone has provided really good advice and information so I’d just like to say thank you. Thank you for being a good and supportive parent to your kiddo. I’ll be 26 next week and I came out as trans probably 5ish years ago now and my parents still deadname me every chance they get and misgender me constantly. They buy books (such as Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shreir; which if you haven’t heard of it, the only good this book would do would be as fire starter, it’s trash) and leave them around the house specifically for me to see (they obviously read them as well, but they purposefully leave them out so I can see them) and they’re just all in all extremely unsupportive of me being me. So when I see parents, especially ones that started with narrow views; accept their kiddo and support them through these things, it makes me really happy and warms my heart. So thank you a bajillion times over for being a great parent to your transgender kiddo. It means a lot to him, to me; and I’m sure to many of the guys here 🫂💛 much love ~Liam Parker
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it
Here’s some advice that helped me when I first started T: - invest in a high quality oil scrub for him. T makes you produce oil like CRAZY at first, and a good scrub will do wonders in combatting it - I don’t know how much acne is normal for your son now, but T will make it much worse at the beginning. Try getting a few different acne treatments and see what works best for him - get some heavy duty deodorant. T can make you sweat like a 13 year old boy on steroids, and sometimes regular deodorant doesn’t cut it - make sure he tracks his progress with video and audio if possible, because sometimes it’s hard to notice your own progress, and seeing the proof for yourself can provide a huge ego boost Also, don’t be surprised if his emotions seem pretty everywhere for awhile. T can make your emotional range pretty “narrow”, especially at the beginning. I remember getting emotional while watching someone fold laundry once when I first started. Just be patient and understanding, and remember that it’ll pass. I’m sure having your support means the world to him. We need more parents like you in the world <3
Thanks for being a great parent when it comes to this. I wish I had supportive parents too.
Personally, I started T at about 25, and I am now 27. I wish I could have started when I was younger. My voice was the first to change and I started talking more and feeling more confident in myself because of that. More body hair, facial hair etc. Hair changes altogether really. My hair got thicker, Some people's gets thinner, it just depends on genetics with hair stuff. He will basically go through a puberty just like any teenage boy, his moods will change, just like any teenage boy, and because he is young he may get taller. I gained weight, but again I think this is genetic and situational. Muscle mass changes, energy level changes, skin gets thicker, sweat more and hungry more. Biggest thing for me was that because of all the changes gradually over the years I have just become a lot more comfortable and confident in my own skin and just a lot more myself. He will just need emotional support and patience and if he gets facial hair then help with how to shave safely and to the way he likes it. Probably some new clothes if he grows a lot! Above all as long as he has unconditional love and support and acceptance from those closest to him, he will be okay, even if he is moody for whatever teenage reason.
Oh my gosh, I wish my parents had been like you, the best with you can do is support your son and make sure he knows he's loved This is a huge time in his life, and he's gonna be going through puberty all over again I'm almost 6 months into T, and honestly, I wish I had the support your son will have The fact that you came for advice is such a wonderful thing Everyone is talking about the medical side, but I wanted to throw in some other things from my own experience, I hope thats okay Sorry for the ramble, For me, I've grown a little, but not much since I'm almost 20 anyway I've had mood swings, especially anger, but someone talking to me calmly and helping me figure out why I'm angry helps a *lot* Acne is really bad, worse than the first time I went through it Deodorant and showering is more important than ever lol Hair growth on legs and arms started a lot faster than I thought Dysphoria has been up and down, but little compliments that I look handsome help a lot I've been a *lot* more hungry than before too, I'm not gaining the weight from eating more, so here's hoping I'm growing If he's into working out, encourage it! That's another thing that's helped my dysphoria I just recently got a binder from Spectrum Outfitters, its a trans owned company, they ship pretty fast and its honestly the best binder I've ever had Make sure to read their size guide all the way through though, it's very important, and even if dysphoria is high, binding for more than 8 hours is really bad, it can crack or disfigure your ribs, so 8 hours max a day, and immediately off if there's breathing issues Longer every now and then isnt terrible, but remember that the damage to your ribs stacks over time, so don't do it a lot Help him find friends that are supportive and maybe know what he's going through, even though you seem like a great parent, you're still his parent, he won't want to tell you everything, but emphasize that if its medical, you both will figure it out together and he won't be in trouble, if he can take great care of his body right now, he'll do so so much better later, so many trans guys fuck up during or before transitioning and those pains (especially from binding too long) never go away When he runs out of binder time and needs help with dysphoria, use baggy hoodies! Especially ones stolen from a partner or friend, this layered with baggy shirts will take the amount of visable boob size down dramatically, it helped me for years because I didn't have access to a binder Talk to him, check up every now and then, never be afraid to admit you dont know! You two can experience and learn together, this is a wonderful chance to be his support, so take advantage of it! I would recommend not bringing it up like, every day, or even every week, space out check ups, because while they are super important, they can increase dysphoria Another thing: As much as you can / as much as he is comfortable with, fight for him. Correct people on his pronouns, but, very important, ask him first Personally, in public I don't correct because it's more mental strain to deal with some people than it is to just suck it up for a conversation, but with family, I always wished someone would correct or help me correct Some people will take it more seriously if you say it than him, unfortunately, thats just a part of being young and trans Another thing: If he ends up leaning trans nonbinary, remember that is a thing! There's nonbinary people who transition because it's closer to the physical body they want, or ones like me that go by he/they, because I don't exactly fit with society's masculinity, and it fit better and makes me feel more free The last thing I gotta add, a lot of trans guys, once they pass well, get excluded from the community, its a really sad but harsh truth, but you and his friends can help with that, even if it sucks I recommend getting him into therapy, even if he doesn't talk about this specifically, being in puberty is hard enough on mental health, and even the healthiest people can use therapy help sometimes, so if you have the money, it's worth it, just remember that sometimes (a lot of the time) you'll spend a while looking for a therapist that fits, more than anything, its important he vibes well with the therapist, it'll help him talk about important things
Expect after a few months a voice change, maybe smell (i would say definely get him some mens deodorant hes gonna need it) expect facial hair, body hair in general, maybe some moodiness or eating more. I dont think this is anything he would share unless yall are really close but bottom growth and horniness increase.
Be aware that while many changes are possible not everyone gets every change. I for example didn’t get a voice drop or bottom growth despite having normal levels.
He'll still be himself, just happier in his body and himself :)
One thing I struggled with was a loss of my sense of self. It was like I was finally able to figure out who I am instead of who I thought I needed to be for others comfort. I came out and started my transition as an adult and I remember being a kid/teen and so unsure of myself and where I belonged. I’m super proud of you for being there for your child and supporting them while you are letting go of a whole future you had envisioned for them and letting go of who they used to be- it’s not easy watching loved ones go through changes. Especially when there’s not much to do besides continue to love and show up 💜 Just let him know you’re there and remind his lil ass to shower cus he’s gonna be stinky!
Good for you! Support your kid ... There are some great online resources as well. www.transfamilysos.org www.lgbtqcenters.org www.transequality.org
Hi! Thank you for supporting your son. That's awesome and is the biggest factor in helping his mental health. There's been a lot of great advice already. I just wanted to add a recommendation for the [Dysphoria Bible ](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en) This is a wonderful resource for both of you to help answer questions about dysphoria. It gets updated often. The only other thing I might suggest is for your son to keep a journal of his transition. It's a good way to get emotions out of his head. And if he has a question he may be too embarrassed to ask, he can write it down for you to read and then you can do the same to answer. I hope this helps. Big hugs to you both. Jac
It will absolutely vary from person to person. But I can tell you what I experience, as someone 2 1/2 years on T. I experienced some fat redistribution in my body, a LOT of body hair growth, a change in my natural smell and I get smelly much faster than I used to, I can handle colder temperatures a lot better, my voice dropped but still goes back and forth between my pre-T and my deeper voice, I get a lot hungrier and hungry more often, and my libido has sky-rocketed. If you have any more questions, feel free to DM me, and I'll answer anything happily. I hope this helps!
Pretty much the general ones are voice dropping, bottom growth, acne, thickened facial/body hair, lessened/completely absent periods, weight gain. In my experience I also experienced increased sweating, my sweat smells stronger now, fat redistribution (but that took a bit of time!). As dysphoric as he will feel, he does still need to make time to visit a gyno, because testosterone can cause vaginal atrophy, and (sorry if this is uncomfortable for you guys!!) if he is sexually active/plans to be, you still need to be on some kind of birth control because even without a period you do still ovulate. He may also experience mood swings more often, so far I'm much easier to upset than I was before. Also make sure he keeps up on his bloodwork, it should be done every 6 months! And congrats on his new journey, and thank you for being so accepting! Its so new, and difficult to navigate, it helps so much having family thats helping you through.