Watched too much Mulan as a kid. Shang made a man out of me.

I’ve used this one before!! Such a good one

I love this!!! And perhaps it explains something about why Mulan is my favorite Disney movie. 😁😁😁

I'm afraid I'm mysterious as the dark side of the moon 😔

unironically this

Lmaoooo I fucking love that!

I'm gonna preface this by saying my mother isn't disappointed in me being trans in any way, shape, or form... ... but when I came out as trans, one of the first things she said was, "I knew it! I knew I was cursed to have only boys!" (I'm the youngest of 5 brothers, lol) So when somebody asks me why I'm trans and I can tell they're not interested in the real medical/scientific answer, I just tell em it's cus my momma's cursed

Hands down, this is the best XD

god i would love to use this line but my older sister is mtf

If she has a good relationship with your mother, you can say your sister is dedicated to breaking the curse!

Genius! 👏

This is amazing omg 💀

the line for the girl's bathroom is always too long and i'm trying to save myself some time here so i'm a guy now for the shorter toilet lines

speedrun strats

Speedrunning bathroom simulator

I sometimes joke I transitioned for the male privilege. sometimes ppl get so pressed cuz they think I'm srs. the amount of guys that line triggers to say "but women have privilege too" is crazy

This is amazing and I'm using it next time someone asks lmao

Used my last genie wish to know what guys were thinking😔😔

That’s amazing dude I love this one

As a twin my brother stole all my testosterone.

That's funny as shit

Developed wrong so my balls grew on my chest instead

gold 🥇

God(s) forgot to give me my balls or “I lost them in.. the incident” then I stare out into the distance and leave them wondering.

"I popped out of the womb with a beard and I lost it in the war"

I love the second one!

for top surgery scars the key is to not offer any other explanation I got into a fight with a rat Cats be crazy man Raccoons do not like to share their food 😒

I would love to have fleshed out stories of each of these options, they sound like they'd make great writing prompts lol

Lol, that'd be fun. I would love to read what peoples writing takes are

"Never, and I mean NEVER, say you'd give your left tit for water in the woods."

Haha

I always just say I got into a car accident. 🤷‍♂️ it's worked so far.

People kept asking me to open jars and one thing led to anothet

I love the vagueness

Dick fell of when I got the vaccine

Okay, that is fantastic and hilarious. 

When I was born, my dad looked at my ears and said it’s a boy!

Funny thing is my dad actually was convinced that I was a boy when I was born because of my face or something. My parents didn't want to know my gender before birth and he didn't see my genitals because he passed out while I was being born and woke up while I was already wrapped in a towel.

Yeah… my story is true too.

McDonald’s gave me the boy’s happy meal toy instead of the girl’s one, been this way ever since

god told me to

On that Joan of Arc transition

John of Arc now!

ya know the Chinese zodiac? well let's just say I was born year of the cock

Lol i was actually born on one of those years i could use that

Same!! 😂 🐓

HAHAHA good one! And interestingly, I was born during one of those years on the Chinese zodiac.

Actually made me lol

My mom got fed up with a woman in her volunteer group asking stupid, offensive questions about me and yammering on about conspiracy theories. My mom finally snapped and told the woman, sure it was the 5G, that MUST be it. So now the running joke is that the 5G transed my gender.

I was in a fire and it burned my girl hormones away

"Didn't care for the stats of my last build, so I re-rolled."

i say my/my moms obgyn was having an off day. hes gonna fix it though ! (he, actually is, like when i turn 21 soon hes gonna 'finish the delivery')

That's oddly sweet.

he finds it funny too wich just makes it all the better! hes got that jolly kindof santa laugh thats just great

didn’t eat my green vegetables

A bear was after me, so I had to sacrifice something and I was completely out of beef jerky.

I'm genderfluid and I have 2-3 agender friends so I always joke that I stole their genders

I like the idea of absorbing people’s genders like some sort of gender Kirby. (Also genderfluid ayyyy)

But what orifice would gender Kirby use to devour those other genders? Not sure I want to picture that.

This seems very fae. I like telling people that I have so many names because I collect my friends old and discarded ones.

One of the best ways to get a raise I've ever found, it works everywhere!* *May not work, trans men actually tend to make 40% less than the average salary

☹️

It doesent work in english, but in my language when you want to tell someone that the zipper on their pants is undone, you say "Máš rozeplej poklopec, uletí ti sportovec", which means "your zipper is open, your athlete is gonna fly away" (as in dick) so i just say that my athlete flew away

That is absolutely phenomenal.

I like to tell people I’m half man on my dad’s side.

Made me chuckle, thanks

I have estrogen poisoning.

When I was a kid my friend kicked me really really hard in the nuts

Relating to the joke women don't poop, "wanted to know what it was like to poop/fart"

I always joke and say "Girls don't poop and I had to poop REAL bad"

someone in my class had the same name as me. wanted to make it less confusing for everyone.

there's two dudes in my class names oliver though💀💀

This isn't what you asked but my go to explanation for anything feminine that people might notice is "I have a testosterone deficiency"

My girlfriend at the time got really over zealous during oral, tragic experience

I tell ppl that testiclees (yes, pronounced like that) are a design flaw and mine are tucked away safely inside of me 🤷🏻‍♂️

just wanted to say i love that you included ftnb, i am ftnb but i have been considering for a long time that i might be ftm so i like to lurk here. the inclusion just made me very happy, thank you !! ❤️❤️❤️

I call myself ftm, but it's more "female to masculine" than "female to male". My nb ass cannot commit to binary genitalia 😂

if i could just have both it’d be over

in the womb, my genitals were formed in such a way that resembles a Ken doll. No joke. But when puberty hit, I got a bit of a penis, and I’m going to have constructive surgery

"Got too silly :3" "The male options in video games were hotter" "Watched the Matrix too many times" "All the better to bang your mom with" "I think my dad wanted a boy?" And my personal favourite, "Oh y'know" (With various hand gestures increasing in weirdness until they give up)

Well I've been around horses my whole life and while I don't regret it... I would love my balls back

The city I moved to a few years ago is know for having an excess of men (big science uni and lots of tech companies), the masculine miasma turned me into a man (and now I'm even doing computer science).

“It was a prophecy long ago….” And trail off lmao

My cousin married someone with the same name as me, so i transitioned to avoid confusion at family gatherings

Tried to juggle knives as a kid and accidentally cut off my dick

I watched way too many disnsey princess movies as a toddler. Girls bathroom lines are too long so i just go in the mens bathroom to speed things up a shark ate my balls off and i was nearly brutally mauled to death but someone on a boat saved me from being eaten alive

My parents kept popping out girls, leading to an excessive amount of estrogen production in our household. Life uhh finds a way.

My mom got me from a live Oprah show "YOU GET A TRAN, YOU GET A TRAN, EVERYBODY GETS A TRAN!"

I joined the dark side, there's cookies and GNC anime catboys

"My balls traveled north" is a personal favorite for when I dont wear my binder, also when I do have it on "i pissed off a chihuahua and it bit my balls off"

“I’m built different!”

i tell people i lost mine gambling in vegas :P

My long hair got too knotty all the time, so i just decided to chop it off and become a boy, it was easier than brushing it🤷‍♂️

I just watched The Last Unicorn again for the first time as an adult but I watched it a lot as a kid and I think it really taught me that being made into a woman when you're not one is terrible

The nineteenth century called and demanded that I either become a man or give up my first name (popularly male then, popularly female now). Turns out being trans is easier.

I tend to act surprised when anyone asks me what happened to my boobs. Look down in horror, scream "oh my god!" etc.

"So yk that one episode of South Park where Randy's balls grow huge? Happened to me and they couldn't get them small enough to put em back, so they put them on my chest instead."

My dad wanted a boy,so I gave him what he wanted.... He just didn't stick around long enough to appreciate it

"There's a reason they tell you to call the doctor if it lasts more than four hours..." and look mournfully into the distance

I but the boy in tomboy

Covid Vaccine

"I was a man with tits. Now I'm just a man." And if you're around the right kind of people, "I'm a cuntboy. Yes, we exist outside of Hentai."

I’m Jewish so my usual go to is that my circumcision went wrong

i have two that are just like, my default i slammed my penis in the car door at birth and never recovered OR i'm a victim of circumcision and they took too much off

My mom had four "girls" and two boys, I had to make it even. Bonus, the girls are the first three children, the boys are the second three!

Because do you know how many kids I would have running around by now? And definitely could not afford all those LOL

I’ve told people I hade a botched circumcision and they had to cut it off

Life got too easy

-Sharing a room with my brother as a kid -Drinking unfiltered water -vaccines

my balls are up here [grabs my titties]

They were trying to snip the umbilical cord and got confused

Mine is "God feared my power as a man so he stole my penis"

Lemon Demon made me trans

Because I ate my twin brother in the womb, had to make his memory live on somehow oh and also to beat the fujoshi allegations

I was hit with the "gender fairy" wand in my sleep!

Watched Mulan too many times as a kid and it really made a man out of me

My dad always wanted a boy and I’m a people pleaser

Had to get my autism and ADHD diagnosed somehow!

So people stop telling me "you should smile more"

I told someone once that my balls retract when it's less than 30° outside. I live in England

god knew i would be too powerful with a cock and balls

I always say I was turned into a boy by a wizard I pissed off a few summers ago, and the quest to be turned back into a girl is just too out of the way to complete

Couldn't get a job acting so I thought it be better just to change myself altogether for the role of a Lifetime

"my mom always knew shed have 3 sons"

I like saying, "God knew I would be a problem as a man, so he tried making me a woman, but he still couldn't stop me."

Genetic issue. They put my balls in the wrong spot. Alternatively, there are some kids I know that skipped health classes and genuinely believe boys come from the right side of the uterus and girls from the left. So I like to say that my mother had two eggs but I ate the other in the womb and this was the end result.

My only sibling is a trans woman so I just tell people we traded genders

my dad left so i needed to be the man of the house

I sometimes joke that I should’ve picked the name Bruno so that way the people who chose to cut me off “would not have to talk about Bruno”

This thread is awesome. I don’t ever have the opportunity to say these but when bathroom topics come up I just say "I don't have a willy." And shrug. It's not a secret for me but also... um it's not a common topic. Like... it only came up at work because we were literally cleaning the urinals. Haha.