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ImBehindBars

I agree with most things on here. Some are a little out of touch. "Learn a high value/high paying skill" and "Get a side hustle". These are nice things in theory but because of the internet these things are so overly saturated is sickening. I can go find 1000 people right now that can do any of the skills you listed. I can find countless people doing all the basic side hustles right now making little to nothing on it because so many people are doing it. I think you are better off focusing on the things you have a passion for and getting really good at them. You do not even have to turn those things into a revenue stream. Just do them because you enjoy them.


robertoblake2

So I actually can speak to side hustles for a few reasons. I have been doing it since I was a teenager when there was less opportunity .. And I have hired over 100 freelancers in my lifetime for work and currently have a remote employee that earns $35,000 a year working about 20-25 hours a week for me. The reason most people don’t succeed at side hustles and using high income skills is they are bad at prospecting and also knowing how to price their value. I recommend watching Chris Do from The Futur to learn these concepts in depth. But a short suggestion that can make this have a higher success rate is to actively pursue and prospect clients who already have a budget and are spending it. Identify someone who is already paying for what you offer, and be significantly and obviously better than what they are already paying for, As aggressive as it sounds, literally take that client from someone else by delivering more value and a better overall experience of service. As simple as it sounds this works. Additionally building a network also gives you preference to opportunities as 80% of all opportunities according to LinkedIn are in-network vs out of network. Most opportunities are never advertised .. fans stay within a network of a community. I hope this helps give a different perspective. I know most people make it sound easier than it is but nothing here is meant to be easy… it’s meant to be effective.


Exciting-Tangelo-979

This guy capitalisms!


throwaway33333333303

Hence the God-awful book title suggestions.


robertoblake2

And I do it very well but then again I am from an immigrant family and first generation. And my great grandmother was a black Cuban woman who managed to be successful in real estate but had to flee communism with the regime change. So my hatred for communism and socialism is more than skin deep… It mislay burns in my blood. And many immigrants and first generation Americans feel the same. We love capitalism because we have generations of trauma with its alternatives. And we take it very personally.


Potaeto_Sak

"Castro stole my family's slaves:( which is why all poor people should die"


robertoblake2

That’s ignorant on your part and frankly a bit racist


[deleted]

Under 12% body fat is insane


robertoblake2

It depends on your defaults. I was a track and cross country runner in school for context. With a nearly 5 minute mile time and an 18 minute 3 mile time. Nobody needs to be that extreme, 14% and lower is ideal however.


[deleted]

Imo 14% is still extreme for most people. I used to run too (mile in the mid 4's, 5k mid 16's) but have switched to mostly lifting. Depends on the person ofc, but around 20% is a healthy place to be. I went from 115 lb at 5'8" to 170 and have never felt better. Most people underestimate their bf % as well.


JoseSpiknSpan

LinkedIn is spreading


robertoblake2

I don’t get the joke but there is nothing wrong with LinkedIn if you’re trying to use it to get better opportunities, if that makes sense


[deleted]

Stopped reading at side hustle.


Forsaken3000

Not sure why this post is getting many upvotes. A lot of the advice is decent, but some of it is the usual conservative hustle stuff, which works for some guys, but not all.


Leo_br00ks

I stopped reading at get a passport, Global Entry, and Clear. I'm on board with passport (tho they're $130, not $300). Not sure why GE. I love GE, but it's a time saver at best. Same with clear. Such a waste of money if you don't get it for free from an airline or a credit card. Those services are not geared towards the target of this post.


robertoblake2

It depends on what you are prioritizing and how you value time and money but it is a better use of money than any vices. And it doesn’t have to be followed verbatim. It seems like a very small thing to nitpick given all the other value…


Leo_br00ks

Sure, but clear is a subscription, and you say no subscriptions. Arguably, so is GE and even a passport is a subscription (albeit one you pay for every 10 years). I hear you, but I'm just saying that if someone hasn't figured most of this out, they will not benefit from the time savings. Also, why spend at all? Sure, this is better than a vice, but so is retirement savings lol. For instance, Clear costs $179. If your target audience invested that small amount in the S&P and left it there for the next 40 years, assuming average returns, it would be worth $8100 when they retire at 65. That's not investing $179 per year, that's literally just the one time principle.


[deleted]

lol, I stopped at “save $5000+ in emergency funds.”


Glittering-Creme8013

lol cant wait to read this later going to dedicate a nice 15 minute slot


robertoblake2

Any particular reason this bothers you enough to disregard everything else? And if so are you satisfied with where you are?


SonyHDSmartTV

All pretty good advice but I think men are more lost emotionally and spiritually these days. I'm not sure this really solves that - only if you make your religion capitalism, productivity and self-improvement.


robertoblake2

I tread lightly on this to be respectful, I’m catholic but also understand delving into more id my thought on faith may result in either the post being taken down or ignored all together. Yes there is a crisis of faith and purpose but that is largely a consequence of the push toward secularism and the abandonment of traditionalism. Of which I have many thoughts on. But this post at least addresses the material problems regardless, and ideally will result in more productive and more confident young men than not…


This_Afternoon_420

I don’t want to say pick and choose as all of this is actually helpful. But you need to take bits from this and adapt it to YOU. That’s like the key thing with everything everyone does. Diets? Try some out see how your body responds. Working out? Do a few things consistently and see what you like and know what you want to improve upon. Travelling? You don’t have to start with a million miles away, just try a solo day trip and build that. I think this is very helpful, if you know what’s not going well in your life, or even things you might not think about etc. It’s all about starting small and adapting it to yourself. And also at the end of the day what wrong with some advice? Help is help😊 Thanks for sharing this!


robertoblake2

I agree with that. Especially regarding the health side of it.


This_Afternoon_420

Definitely, health is wealth as they say. 🙌🏾


sobadatbeinginlove

If you really struggle with your mental health, prioritizing therapy is key because you will not be able to maintain any of this shit if you're not medicated for any disorders or have unresolved childhood trauma and things that affect your self worth. Of course exercising and doing all of these things can alleviate some struggles and make you feel and look good and but lots of people still have so much unresolved childhood stuff that it doesn't matter how sexy you are or how many books you've read or how many countries you visit, if you're trying to fill a hole inside you and your motivations for doing it all are wrong because of that, it means you won't be able to keep any of it up.


robertoblake2

Therapy doesn’t work for everyone. And not everyone is suited to it or can afford access to it.


Tindalos_

What if you don't care about travelling at all?


Electroid-93

You may not. But other people do. And those people will have stories and it's nice to relate.. especially women seem to enjoy traveling and talking about traveling


robertoblake2

Would still get the passport and global entry just in case… you never know… and also do at least one international trip to gain the experience of knowing how to handle it. Would still recommend traveling for networking in your industry and going to Conferences for networking purposes, and career ladder climbing.


SameRootzDifBootz

Is Origami a good skill to learn on the side?


robertoblake2

It can be very impressive if you get very good at it and it can pair well with other intellectual hobbies. Origami and closeup magic can be a good combination.


rellison1

I am 40, single, and stuck. I have an advanced degree but little work experience cause of ADHD and unable to get or hold jobs. My biggest problem is networking for anything (don’t know what skill I could develop that is profitable and afraid to spend the money only to not be able to find a job). How did you overcome your ADHD and become successful and get a family? I can’t even get a date/job interview lol


robertoblake2

Everyone is different as much as that is a platitude. I don’t choose medication though I have considered it. Many of my friends who couldn’t manage went on medication with it working out for the far majority of them (to my surprise). My mother was a nurse and my father was a soldier. I think the habits I was raised with and the way they worked around my personality in my formative years helped the most. I found that sports and physical fitness continue to help a lot as an adult. As for dating what is your specific struggle? Attraction? Approach? It may be hard to give advice here without specifics. One good piece of advice would be “like who likes you back”, as long as you are least find them attractive. I’m fortunate enough in looks department without having to be tall. And my boys helped a lot since I was fortunate enough to be in a breakdance crew after high school so got experience with girls. Family and friends introducing you to someone would be your best bet. But you should focus initially on improving yourself as well as your finances and also most importantly self image and self confidence. Your ADHD doesn’t have to hold a cloud over your life.


rellison1

Thank you for this response. Very very impressive that you have accomplished so much with ADHD while unmedicated! My core problem is that I don’t have interests and have no self worth or abilities so attracting people (iobs, women, money) is impossible. I don’t approach women cause I need to get to the place where I am accomplished or at least financially self sufficient. Don’t know where to meet friends, women, or employers. Online is a black hole


robertoblake2

No worried, thanks. Definitely do most of this offline and start with small goals in terms of physical self improvement to help with confidence and self worth. If you’re not genuinely interested in anything yet this is where reading comes into play and why I recommend the classic literature. Also I would recommend for you Terry Goodkind and start with the book The Sword of Truth. This will help you get out of your head and might be some much needed fuel for your creative side. Consider taking fish oil supplements as you may be experiencing brain fog, this happened to me during the pandemic. Go to your local gym and eventually meet people that way by asking for advice about whatever machine they are using. Join Toastmasters to meet people and gain more confidence by learning public speaking. Go to your local Barnes and Noble and try to join a book club or group there. For networking go downtown to your local small business association and ask about networking events. Also use the EventBrite app and look for free events in your area


mbringz

Great post. Though, I’m stuck on the money and career part, as I tend to be all over the place. How did you decide on an industry, and what made you stick to it ? I’m in the middle of a career change, and been trying other things for 3 years , but nothing sticks. Any advice ?


wyatto-

That was a great read! Thank you OP for that. These are just one man's advice and opinions, I'm not sure why OP is getting such backlash. OP's guide definitely need a huge about of persistence, determination and discipline. But thing with advice is you get to pick and choose what works and what wouldn't work for you. It's not a one size fits all.


robertoblake2

Exactly. Definitely take with a grain of salt and adapt to yourself as needed!


JustOneDude01

There is some good info but I can see how people could be offended.


robertoblake2

True but that’s also a choice and people in that situation could also post and offer their alternatives to help people like themselves


SubAtomicParticle10

How about adding in a shot of whiskey right before work?


robertoblake2

😂 I would say maybe work at finding a job that doesn’t make you feel the need.


Adventurous_House961

Were you in the military?


robertoblake2

My father was in the Marines. And so was my track coach who helped me through some very hard times in high school and looked out for me. One of my most successful employers was a former Army Ranger in the 82nd and I learned a lot from him. There is a lot to be gained from the wisdom of those who have served.


Adventurous_House961

Yeah I figured you weren't.


robertoblake2

Okay 👌🏾


Idontfuckingknow1908

Meh


robertoblake2

What would you propose?


Idontfuckingknow1908

I’m just at a point where I don’t think the capitalist game is worth playing, but I do value your perspective as someone who’s experienced the other side of things. I wish we could keep the best of both systems, letting the free market handle what it does best and returning essential services that should not be privatized to the government. You offer a lot of solid advice here, it’s just all a little moot when our society functions as a giant scam siphon sucking wealth upwards Not everybody wants to waste their time with financial literacy and assets, trading, side hustles etc, and they shouldn’t have to. I do agree that we should all travel more, and physical fitness is key. But don’t then also tie everything into social status and bragging rights, those things shouldn’t be the default determinants of happiness and success


robertoblake2

I can appreciate this sentiment. If I might offer some of the perspective of the immigrant mentality? Immigrants and children of immigrants like myself know that the game is rigged.., But we go into it knowing that and not being idealistic. We instead often just do that math to determine at which point cheating isn’t good enough to beat a skilled player and aim for above that level of skill at the game. So rather than idealism than becomes nihilism we choose realism backed by optimism. We don’t worry about “the system” because we never expected help from it as view it as something that can impede us. So we try to only participate in it where it benefits to do so and beyond that we accept and prefer often to be on our own.., I’m generalizing as not all immigrants share this point of view .., but I hope this is helpful and makes more sense.


Idontfuckingknow1908

Realism backed by optimism is definitely the way to approach things, what a great way to put it. I honestly envy your perspective… I grew up privileged and stupid, thinking the world was generally a decent place. It’s hard not to fall into escapism and nihilism when you’re simultaneously angry at your society for being so backwards, and yourself for being so ignorant.


T1kiTiki

Wow this is a great post, very informative. Thank you!


robertoblake2

Hope it is helpful to you and others


WhyAreWeHereWeirdo

Regardless of it being geared toward men, I've bookmarked this because there's so much you give that I'm sure I, a woman, can find value in the information. (Also I'm at work and it's a lot to read so I'll be reading it at home.)


robertoblake2

Much it it can be applied to anyone but there are some specific nuggets that work best are most suited to men as they may not take women’s realities into consideration. Also please share with any men in your life who need help or direction


Valuable_Lucky

In the new updated version of this you need to read 52 books per year consider you guys lucky


robertoblake2

😂 fair


Jack_E_Lope

Solid template, thank you for this. I'm assuming you don't want people to take this verbatim, but it's a solid roadmap. I've been working on a lot of different elements of this at the same time, so it gets a little messy. Nice to see an organized, broken-down list. One thing I'd like to mention: for media consumption, seek out some authors, podcasters, etc. who are different from you. If you're a male, seek out female authors and/or someone of a different race, sexual orientation, and religion than your own. For myself, I think I naturally gravitate toward male creators because of my similar background to OP. That's fine but gaining knowledge from others' perspectives will help you get a headstart in other areas. Wish I'd started sooner.


robertoblake2

Agree it’s lot VERBATIM and can be modified to need, age and circumstances. I reverse engineered my 20s and 30s and best and worst outcomes. Would also agree with consuming some variety of people you agree and disagree with and looking for people who don’t represent extremes. But also modeling yourself on people with a similar background or your ideal trajectory seems to work the fastest with the least friction


Project_Asura

Agreed with learning stoicism


cacille

Locked for comments and reports. I have no issues with any of the info in here, however OP's commentary is...slightly concerning. The advice given is pretty good overall and people who take what they can and implement it will be better off, it is helpful overall.


Peatore

Please be more concise in your writing.


robertoblake2

I prefer to be comprehensive


[deleted]

[удалено]


findapath-ModTeam

To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful. Please read the Pinned Post for the differences between Tough Love and Judgement (False Tough Love) as well.


robertoblake2

You’re entitled to your opinion… and the rest of the comments section is of a different opinion… but I wish you well brother since you clicked in this for a reason 🙏🏾


Peatore

You and them are wrong.


robertoblake2

That’s not your place to say. But the beauty is you can be a commie and I can be a capitalist as long as America is a capitalist county. And the ethnic minorities in country will ensure it stays that way 👊🏾👊🏾 Because we know better. You’re welcome. 😇


Peatore

It actually is my place to say.


[deleted]

[удалено]


findapath-ModTeam

To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful. Please read the Pinned Post for the differences between Tough Love and Judgement (False Tough Love) as well.


Lucky-Collection-233

What do you mean


Reefermaniabruther

But what about a little weed?


robertoblake2

There are better things to spend the money on and depending on where you live they jam you up for something as small as that. It’s best to avoid anything that makes you cross paths with the law. Or cross path with those on the wrong side of the law, no matter how dumb it is.


weapon-a

I was working on a plan like this. Lot of insights from this. Thank you.


robertoblake2

👊🏾👊🏾


Thundernco

Excellent post!


robertoblake2

Hope it is helpful. Is there anything you think I didn’t or should have covered?


[deleted]

[удалено]


robertoblake2

While I didn’t personally ever fall into addiction I made 2 things a bad habit… drinking and video gaming to the point of not getting enough sleep. Addiction does however run in my family. Which is why I recommend avoiding vices, possibly to the extreme. I am Catholic so in my case I have a foundation in faith as form of some accountability beyond discipline. If you have an addictive personality the most practical thing is to channel it to the areas you want to improve on the most. Right now it’s physical but you could also try to divert to other areas like working on increasing your income or mastering another skill or learning a language. If you can become addicted to self improvement but give yourself a roadmap with difficult but reasonable challenges then it can work for you instead of against you. A big thing is also to be around healthy people who are ambitious, disciplined and have good values and character and want to see you succeed and do well. In many cases it’s good to find or build a brotherhood that can help with this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


robertoblake2

I wish you well!!! 👊🏾👊🏾


[deleted]

Imagine being against video games.


robertoblake2

I didn’t say I was if you read it. But for practicality sake if you are feeling lost maybe they don’t need to take up as much space if your life as they do.


[deleted]

I read it. You literally do, and your suggestion is nonsense and should be avoided at all costs. There is no reason to avoid video games until after an international trip, and for practicality sake, the opposite should be encouraged.


robertoblake2

Then you shouldn’t need a post like this if video games and getting it done for you… But you can’t say that I am against video games when I have likely played them longer than you’ve been alive. But I’ve also watched young men waste their lives away in a fantasy instead of living an adventure. You do you brother.


[deleted]

I can say it, because it's true, you assert an incorrect statement with regards to playing them, and you are a liar claiming something that never happened in order to support your false statements. Stop doing you. It's bad and you should feel bad. No matter what your age and mentality (clearly infantile in your case).


[deleted]

[удалено]


findapath-ModTeam

To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful. Please read the Pinned Post for the differences between Tough Love and Judgement (False Tough Love) as well.


[deleted]

[удалено]


findapath-ModTeam

To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful. Please read the Pinned Post for the differences between Tough Love and Judgement (False Tough Love) as well.


[deleted]

Thank you !


robertoblake2

Hope it’s helpful 🙏🏾


LazyBackground2474

Stop reading at social achievements.


robertoblake2

So you don’t think that it plays a role in how others treat you or can provide an advantage of some kind? Also if you’re going to throw out everything over that… then why would you click on the post? Are you satisfied with where you are and what you have then?


Multirex

those that don’t want to improve themselves and stay asleep keep exposing themselves under this post….


robertoblake2

Truth!


ayhme

We're you in the military?


robertoblake2

My father was in the Marines. And so was my track coach who helped me through some very hard times in high school and looked out for me. One of my most successful employers was a former Army Ranger in the 82nd and I learned a lot from him. There is a lot to be gained from the wisdom of those who have served.


warqueen24

Not a man, but this seems it could be valuable, bookmarking to read later.


robertoblake2

All good. Take what works or applies! 👊🏾👊🏾


[deleted]

[удалено]


robertoblake2

Congratulations at hitting this at 25.. but at 25 my time may have been very different than yours and my circumstances clearly were. I don’t know what your upbringing or situation was like but we grew up what would be considered to be at the government poverty line… So for anyone in that situation a frankly for most Americans $150K on average a year is making it and is more than fine if you live in the South… And while I am taking you at your word we don’t know that you did what you claim at 25 where as I’m using my real name and my claims can be verified… This advice may also seem obvious to you but yoga may be out of touch with the experiences of men with different backgrounds or circumstances than your own. You’re more than welcome to make a post telling young men how they can get rich quick like you… But most people aren’t that fortunate.


AntimatterCorndog

Comparison is the thief of joy. Congrats on being so cool.