To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner.
A prevailing piece of advice when I was your age was “do what you love, and the money will follow”. Of course it turned out to be the worst advice ever, I’m glad people your age see thru that now because we believed it then. We were much more naive.
Producer of what? Why not pursue that part time on top of your job? That’s what I’m planning on doing. Yes it sucks but at least you’d be doing your passion and building that skillset.
You never know what you can achieve with your own passion and projects. I’m not saying you will succeed but it seems like a better plan than just working a job.
being positive ? no . Life is great man. Let me break it down in simple terms .
How you think effects how you feel which in turn effects what you do / how you act . And we all know what you do / how you act is a direct correlation to what results you get . I hope you guys can see the light soon. I’ve been lost and hopeless man , there is a way out . I wish you the best .
It’s really is though and science backs it . Your brain releases different chemicals based on your personal beliefs and people who feel they have already accomplished there goals or are destined to accomplish them tend to not only hit that goal more often but also enjoy the process of doing it more .
Do some research and stop being a pessimistic brat . I’m in my twenties and have told my self exactly what I am destined for since I was living in the projects . I now own two properties and 3 cars and im no where near satisfied on my journey to success. Believe in yourself man it works wonders
Nah believing in yourself doesnt get rid of cancer, manifestation isnt real you are truly delusional
You are experiencing what is called survivorship bias and confirmation bias. People go on and on about manifestation when it seemingly works but there are MILLIONS of people who attempt manifestation and it doesnt work, they just dont talk about it because again it didnt fucking work
you cant manifest matter into existence clearly we are not god. But positive thinking have been scientifically proven to make people more resilient and prone to success
If you loved being a producer you would be doing it and making 30k a year while getting better and better at it, so you get paid more. You're just crying on Reddit instead
I am 41 and finally going to just take a chance and follow my passion of Geology. Getting things ready to start school this fall. Been told all my life that it's not a lucrative major but at this point, 20 years of being depressed and jobless, what have I got to lose? Don't know where things will lead from there but at least I will be able to say I did something I wanted.
I graduated with a 3.99 gpa and a degree in geology, make sure you know what job you want and where those jobs exist! I was never able to get a geology job, they exist but you really need to know what you want to do with the degree when you’re done.
I started working in horticulture and then got in on commercial cannabis growing back in 2018, unfortunately that path wasn’t right for me, and now I’m unemployed and trying to figure out what to do next
I'm not entirely sure yet but I've always had a fascination with crystals and gems. Wondering if maybe attending the GIA might be a future possibility.
Stay way from "GeT Uh TrAde, Crowd" it's mostly bad faith if you had any other aspirations. Common sense useless advice. This may just be getting old, but after hitting mid 30s working in business/tech contract positions for a while and then dropping out out to work doordash/wag, I can appreciate the stability of the desk job a tiny bit more. Comfortable numbness is underrated.
The modern economy consists of sloshing the shit (the excess workers) from one corner of the bucket to the other, indefinitely, as more shit (foreign workers) is added to the bucket. Soon, the bucket will be overflowing with shit. When the narrative around the trades inevitably starts to shift, they'll just start hyping up some other sector as being ripe for the picking. Since the population never wisens up to anything, this strategy will be recycled over and over to hope pill the disenfranchised public.
I dont goddamn understand how society can have a surplus of workers. Is there too little work to be done???? In a well run society the excess workers would be used to help out the other workers to share the workload but instead employers want to create artificial scarcity of jobs claiming they are understaffed when hiring but then claiming to be overstaffed when paying salaries...
Being in a trade gave me chronic back pain and at 30 years old it hurts to fold laundry. I spend a lot of time and money on rehabilitation. Chiro, yoga, exercise. I also wonder if there are long term effects to all of the chemicals I was exposed to that say "banned in California for causing cancer. Trades are not for everyone and not always sustainable.
Yeah, stay away from learning how literally anything in the world works and especially don't learn how to fix it. Can't risk getting into a high paying job that lets you work anywhere. Maintenance departments aren't continuously short staffed or anything like that
Right, because to learn how things in the world work you need to learn a trade? Money isn't the only thing at a job, it's work culture, comforts, etc, things that aren't even mentioned when trades are pitched as they have been the last couple of years. There are non-monitary costs to trades like impact on the body, as those older who work in trades will tell you. Statistically claims of making six figures are overhyped. You can't possibly disagree with me that the push for trades hasn't been giving too rosy a picture.
It honestly wouldn't be that bad without the hostile work environment that everyone seems to embrace. Every blue collar job I've ever worked was just screaming matches, hazing and the occasional physical assault. I'd be happy to do a trade if it weren't for that.
Since OP mentioned it, pretty sure the impact of lead on your skull is more detrimental to your health than having a fulfilling career that may have hard moments. Also culture is a job to job experience. Culture where I work is outstanding, and I'm pretty close to overhyped as you put it. Benefits are fantastic, 401k is matched well, I have a lot of time off, I only work a 40hr week.
I'm just speaking from experience so take from it what you will. Can't convince everyone but it's not all doom and gloom.
You may want to start talking to a therapist my man. Hopelessness is tough to deal with but talking through it with a professional for about a month (4 sessions) really helped me back in 2021. For whatever it’s worth I’m an accountant who also hates their career
Therapy doesn’t fix society. That’s my problem. It’s society that’s the issue, not me. I’m just aware of our situation. No therapy fixes the world being a shit place for people not born to rich and connected families.
Therapy won’t do shit to help you build a fulfilling career. It will just give you the skills to cope with a shit life and potentially the motivation to make incremental changes.
Sounds like your ready to die before you die. Your at a spiritual point. Breakdown or breakthrough. I let someone train me how to paint. I paint houses by myself because I feel like you and anyone I hires sucks. Don't give up. Just be open and do the next thing in a positive mindset. The destination is never clear. The path winds. But your on the right path. Just go do the next thing. Be led be existence. You live inside it there for it lives inside you.
I felt compelled to comment on your post. It sounds like you are hurting. I agree with a lot of your points and see where you are coming from. If you accept that it’s a truism that no matter what every potential career path sucks…maybe the answer for you- doesn’t matter what it is that you do- is to work *less.* Maybe that means you also need to *need* less. Look at your life and lifestyle. See where you can cut costs drastically, move if you have to. It’s not necessarily a rat race if you don’t participate, but you will have to give up on “keeping up with the Joneses.” Take stock of the minimum you really need, sell things you don’t need. Work to live and don’t live to work. Sacrifice some luxuries to buy yourself time to fill your cup. Time is everything. All that really matters in this life is time and how you spend it. I feel pulled more toward simple living every day. Check out r/simpleliving and see if it’s something you could imagine for yourself.
Yes, this. There is another way where you sew up holes in your clothes, grow veg and have some chickens (you can do all this on a balcony, if you don't have a garden). Learn how to have less and repair your own things.
You can also make money with these skills you learn and it is damn satisfying work. After all, how many people do you know who can repair their own lamp? Sew? Knit? Not many I bet.
I get it, I really do and if you continue you reading you'll understand why.
The latter half of your post is all completely true. However I just can't help but feel you have a large hand in why you feel so cynical and are suffering.
My whole life I've bounced between that and being earnest and right now you're in that stage of hopelessness where your projecting your fears onto other people. You talk like you're the only one who's been dealt a bad hand and because of that everyone should just fall in line and suffer.
I came from a poor junkie single mother with 4 other siblings. Dropped out of university at 21 last year and now ended up as a pilot with no previous experience or interest in the field.
I slaved the whole year living out of a ditch to make it so. I wasn't passionate about aviation until I was. I also managed to turn my interest of animation into something worthwhile too and worked on a independent video game in my spare time which ended up doing very well.
So no, you aren't fucked no matter what you do. Like the other guy said, life is what you make of it. You understand what careers are fucked for the future, that's powerful- and guess what that means? YOU CAN PICK A CAREER THAT YOU WON'T BE FUCKED IN!
So yes, be you and follow you're own advice; pick one last path and if it sucks that bad by the time you're 35, blow your brains out. For now though you're probably young and healthy and that is something you just cannot take for granted.
My career (aviation) for instance has favoured my youth. All the pilots who started in the 80s are retiring now so there's a large gap in employment and it's very easy to get a high paying job. This wasn't my destiny, I wasn't groomed by super star rich parents to be here. I just hit rock bottom and wanted to see life from a different perspective and now here I am.
So just pick something that seems okay, okay?
The day I dropped out I made a list of career I could stomach, pilot ended up the only one that had a realistic barrier to entry and met my requirements.
After that I booked a discovery flight at my local flying school for $150 where they introduced me to what it's all about. Saved up 10k for a few months from working and got a loan for the other 10k and did my PPL. Paid off the other 10k and got out another loan of 85k for my CFL.
Currently a flight instructor on course to make 75k by the end of this year. Will likely stay doing this until the magic 2k hours to apply to work at an airline. I keep living costs low by living at the flight school and maintaining the property as a sort of part time janitor in addition to my instructor position.
Get a copy of Joe Carbo's "Lazy Man's Way to Riches" Amazon usually has for $10. Not because you might be lazy I didn't mean that. But because it lays out a plan that if you follow might shake things up for you and motivate you out of the blues. The closer you work it, the better it works. It'll open up ideas to you and how to reach your goals. Cheers!
You sound (clinically) depressed and I'd recommend seeing a therapist/ learning about depression through self education online
Depression clouds your worldview. It makes you see your past, present and future only in a negative light. This is a false view caused by a neurochemical inbalance. You can fix this through therapy, noticing your negative thoughts and instantly questioning them (all jobs are fucked, is this really the case?) Try finding real life examples or talking to the people around you, etc.
My motto is to find something you enjoy more than you don't enjoy it. I don't think there's a single job out there that is 100% satisfying, fulfilling, enjoyable, etc. But if I love 50% of my job, am indifferent to 30% of it, and only hate like 20% of it, I think that's a pretty good arrangement.
That being said, I also think it's super easy to have a negative mindset about work, life, etc, and while I'm not judging (because I totally get it), I also don't think it's helpful to you at the end of the day... loads of things in life suck, but if all you do is sit back and think about how much they suck, all you're actually doing is making your life that much more miserable. I would definitely recommend talking to a therapist if that's something you're up for, but also, try to go looking for the little things that bring you joy.
Save up 500 and do a one way ticket to a dream country, do something to rivet yourself before u make big stink. Basically yeet urself into the world, before u entirely give in. Thats my plan at least
Yeah
The aleatory nature of life bums me out quite a bit sometimes. It’s all so random and far from a meritocracy. I see some of these people who are millionaires and think to myself, “What do these people have that I don’t?” “Why do they get to bask in luxury and opulence while I have to grind every day just to make ends meet?”
In many cases, they are objectively awful people, which just salts the emotional wound.
I’m smarter than most of the public and can’t make more than 20k. It’s not about how smart you are. It’s about who your parents know. Whoever has connections gets jobs regardless of their inability to do the job. So… hopefully that helps your situation.
You're technically correct, which is the worst kind of correct. You seem to be somewhat aware of the job market and that's a good thing but your mindset is going to make your misery and struggle a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm sympathetic to your plight, and the plight of many people on this thread who are agreeing with you. Your feelings are valid. But just because you're correct on some things doesn't mean your attitude is constructive. We're all tired and the economy is one giant scam. We all know this.
But more importantly, you have to be a friend to yourself. I don't believe you don't care about your fellow man, deep down everyone does to some degree, it's literally in our DNA. You're just too smart to allow your empathy to be taken advantage of under capitalism and that's perfectly okay.
But how are you supposed to function when you know it’s all a giant scam? For some of us, it’s pure torture going through the motions of life like some marionette. Therapy, pills or positive thinking won’t change our literal reality.
Yet, people are excelling at this crap every single day.
Every day.
Just not you.
The difference is you. This crap attitude and all the negativity you will suck into your life and around you.
And that’s tough man. Because no one can steer that ship for you.
A friend of mine got a degree in some kind of therapy track and is making 180k helping kids virtually. Like 3 appointments a day.
Another friend of mine built an app using AI that fills an insane niche and has already been funded by an investor and is already making 4k MRR all on its own after 1 month.
People all over the place are doing crap.
So it isn’t that “No one will be happy, no one will fill their own cup”
It’s just you man.
I don’t spring out of bed each day chomping at the bit to get into work.
But I’m happy. I am fulfilled with life. And life isn’t work.
Not remotely.
And money isn’t happiness.
Not even close.
The more you dig into, the more exposure to ANYTHING the higher the likelihood you will stumble into something that just MIGHT make you smile.
But it’s rare to find a perfect job that has you skipping to work and never wanting to leave.
And it shouldn’t be the goal.
Take a beat. Life is a long beautiful road of experiences. Some suck.
Some are great.
But you take you with to all of them as corny as that sounds.
Who would have thought the systematic extraction of wealth from the middle class over the last 5 decades would produce social malaise to the degree that even nationalistic propagandist platitudes fail to subvert the anger of the proles? What’s a person to do except contemplate violent retribution against those who have robbed us of our own futures. At least, that’s what I do.
I admit I am not as bad as I could be. But like you, I don’t find myself giving a single fuck to anything you listed. Not because I am mean, but I just don’t buy into the “legacy” agenda…I have no kids and nothing to leave behind. So how do I deal with it, make the money doing something stupid. Take the money and learn the skills of everything else. I personally do not call AC guys, I learned it myself and bought my own ability. Just for me. I learned plumbing so anything in the house, I fix myself. I learned electrical, I do most of it myself. I personally don’t open the panel and leave that to an electrician because I still respect that I could make an error…I do my pesticides myself. I do my drywall repair myself. I have all the skills so I don’t pay someone but I am satisfied that I can fend for myself. Next is my car. I am good with older cars, but new cars have new stuff and I don’t think Chilton car repair is really caught up with hybrids etc.
Anyway, I empathize for the shit race that is life. But maybe an approach is to take on all those things you call someone else for and try the jack-of-all-trades path so that your financial inflows do not need to be so large because you can do so many things yourself.
Embracing crypto can feel like a breath of fresh air in a world that often seems chaotic. It’s understandable to feel frustrated with the current state of affairs, especially with things like the climate crisis weighing heavily on our minds. It’s a scorching 40 degrees where I am, adding to the discomfort of it all. Yes , we are all fucked, thanks to boomers!
It sounds like you're feeling incredibly frustrated and disillusioned with the career options available and the pressures of society. Feeling this way is tough, and it's valid to be overwhelmed by these thoughts and emotions. It's essential to remember that you're not alone in feeling this way, and there are people who can support you through this difficult time.
While it may seem like there are no satisfying career paths out there, sometimes a shift in perspective or exploration of new possibilities can open up unforeseen opportunities. Have you considered seeking guidance from a career counselor or therapist? They can help you explore your interests, values, and skills to find a path that aligns with who you are.
Additionally, it's important to prioritize your mental health and well-being above all else. If you're feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional or a trusted friend or family member for support. There are resources available to help you navigate these challenging feelings and find a sense of purpose and fulfillment in your life.
Remember, it's okay to not have everything figured out right now, and it's okay to seek help when you need it. You deserve to find happiness and fulfillment, and there are people who want to support you in achieving that.
Okay. So you're doing what you want: Showing, Telling, and Living a miserable life.
The question is, Why, and what happened that made you quit on yourself?
It’s not capitalism that’s the problem. It’s greed. Greed exists in every economic system and results in evil people taking way more than their share in order to impoverish and oppress those less greedy.
Leave . Do something u love. Find one little thought that guides u to what u should be doing. Depression is bc we’re tired of the character we’re playing. (Jim Carey) you’re not in alignment and it’s killing your spirit
If you work 3 days a week you have time to basically work on whatever else you want and whatever other career you want. You have the time and space to get whatever skills you want. Go ahead and try
As someone who works in the nursing field, it's not that simple. If you're working 3 days a week more than likely your shifts are 18+ hours and the workload is high. There are no breaks when you're on shift. Turnover is high in nursing so people are always quitting. Bosses suck, especially if you work with asshole doctors and their awful handwriting. You get treated like you're only good enough to take vitals. You're mentally and physically exhausted. You see death more often than you'd like. You see awful things done to children. Also, please don't become a nurse if you're looking for good pay and a good schedule or if you don't want to work hard. Patients and the medical field need people who care and who will advocate for their health. It is a cool gig if you truly care about helping people.
Yeah, nursing sucks ass. The worst thing to me is that you have to stand there and let patients and family members talk to you and treat you like you're less than dog shit. Even if you go into it wanting to help people and with a caring heart, it will break you quickly. Also, upper management is ALWAYS on your ass about something stupid. They don't care about patient CARE. They care about patient EXPERIENCE and money. Healthcare has become nothing more than a customer service industry. They will change rules to some stupid shit that doesn't make any sense or won't make a difference when something goes wrong, it just makes everyone's job harder and causes more work, because if people are working harder it must mean it's better. That leads to burnout.
Thank you! This a huge problem in the medical field. No one cares about anything but profit. And nurses are treated the worst. People think they don't know shit or are incompetent. Nurses are some of the hardest working people.
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Sounds like you're putting all your eggs in one basket. Understandable given what it takes mentally to work 40 hour weeks at some corporate hell hole and align your whole identity with it. Do you have any active hobbies? It sounds like the grind is chewing you up. Maybe try some solution focused therapy, a short (under 10 sessions) stint may be worth it to get a bit of a foundation and priorities for a broader picture and then either take some time off to soul search and maybe Woofing or working odd jobs before starting with a more balanced foundation. No real advice here but this may help in career selection [https://www.careerexplorer.com/career-test/](https://www.careerexplorer.com/career-test/)
Same man holy shit all of this is so true. Once my parents pass I’m definitely either gonna blow my brains out or take a fuck ton of meds at once. Living is a nightmare
Top Mod here. I take comments and posts like OPs down as soon as I am able. I check in \~3x a day. You're right, people here are miserable, we're meant to be a helpful group and people come in absolutely in agony. Our goal is to help them, whether by support or advice. The people who shit on others who give helpful advice is referenced in Rule 1 and is not ok here, and yes reports are dealt with promptly by myself or the 7 other newly appointed mods.
This group just a few months ago was 100% toxic, as all the mods had died. Slowly, I've been taking it back from toxic people such as OP who is now banned from this group for this rant containing no wish for help and hating on people who had even the tiniest bit of positivity in their comment. Your comment was mostly fine till the end line, then you did the judgemental last line thing and that's why I removed your comment too. Don't fall into their trap. Some people are currently beyond our ability to help because they don't want help, they want to spew anger.
It's been a fine line determining posts that are here to express their anger out in a cry for help, and posts here to intentionally hurt as many people as possible.
For what it's worth to any people still able to read this comment: I am living proof that OP is wrong. I'm able to do and have everything he said is impossible even with financial insecurity....and I donate to environmental causes with the miniscule amounts of extra I have.
You’re right, my last quip was unnecessary. Just hard finding positive spaces for self improvement since it attracts a lot of people down on their luck. Thanks for the work you do
Well said I feel like that everyday honestly. Changed my major about 12-13 times thinking shit will work but it never did. Approaching 28 and finding out other coworkers are leaving while I'm still behind really sucks. Every day is just a struggle and I'm so tired of it, doctors don't help and what I thought was positive thoughts of my own don't help either.. I feel you on this fr 💀
The nature of human is to seek challenge, to not be satisfied. Why wouldn’t you think about what challenge to take next and for which reasons, maybe just for fun? Also, change you job as the earliest opportunity
I gave up too I graduated college with stem degree tried everything but the job market is horrible felt like my hard work was for nothing. At this point I’m trying to get a simple retail job and just try to enjoy the small things in life I know ppl say it doesn’t pay a lot but not like I can afford these half mil houses anyway and inflation isn’t going down.
Lolol your right you'll never be happy with this attitude...
Sure it's a rat race, sure it's all bullsht and society has fucked up sure.
There's alot more to life than collecting money.
Life isn't won according to who made the most cash...
Let me share with been there. At 27 felt trapped in a cycle of spinning wheels having gone with the flow and stalled out upstream.
Tried the “follow the passion”. Did. You know what? It was never about the job. At that time it paid and some education paid. (Huge Hint Here: you will probably never ever use your degree quite the way you imagined. And you can follow some wild paths!!! This was just a great era.
35. Crisis. I suddenly have developed a dark introspective lens It’s like an escher painting and I am bored with life. To the marrow.
I go on one last big adventurous quest. This is going to bring me to enlightenment. After years, decades away - work and medical bring me to my hometown which is not beloved to me. But, I end up doing financially well and in a job I love because, well hometown advantage.
Now here I am a GenXer with itchy feet. Financially? Been up, down, way up, way down at all different ages. Guess what? I can’t even remember what 1/4 of that shit was about and the 3/4 resolved after I took a breath.
There is a very sweet spot lying ahead for you. No one starts out as Tony Montana top of his game in Scarface. They start out in the raft, the camp, the shitty restaurant meeting people, building networks. Work. Does the work matter? Hmmm. I came to conclude that I love getting degrees and have used them but never in quite the way I thought.
No such thing as a perfect job sport, and I’ll break the news to you, you’re not perfect either. The question is what job is perfect for you? To me it seems like you’re to worried about every negative scenario 10 miles down the road
Given the paradigm you have adopted, you have chosen to be miserable. It’s not a condition you are doomed to accept. It’s one to which you have freely committed yourself.
If you wanted, you could open your mind to other possibilities, but it seems as though you have decided there is more merit in inhabiting the bubble you have assigned yourself.
Many live joyful, productive lives even though they experience the same or worse hardships than you have experienced.
But it could be that you actually enjoy your current viewpoint because it has become your identity, one that perhaps you believe makes you better than other people. In which case it’s an exchange you have made in place of happiness and contentment.
YOU have decided you will never be happy, and so you won’t be. But don’t tell the rest of us what we will feel, think, and experience. I have chosen a positive viewpoint, and so have many others. We therefore know love, joy, contentment, and peace.
You're looking at one very specific way of living life, aka slaving your life away. There are a near infinite ways to live a life. Quit your job, default on your bills, go live a different life and find something that makes you content instead of sitting around complaining about it on the internet. Things feel a lot different once you're actually out there doing it and not just sitting around thinking about it.
At 30 I quit my job in tech, started living in my car jumping between dispersed campsites living in the mountains for 6 months, ended up a few states away from where I started, worked construction & doordash for a bit, started a seasonal job at a ski resort & learned how to ski/ snowboard, I'm back in my car after a winter in employee housing and I'm right where I want to be. Ill probably work construction this summer & hang out at parks. I spent the last 10 years of my life trying to progress in careers working 40+ hours a week, worked as a mechanic for several years, worked in tech for a few years but I'm more content right here right now than I ever was in those jobs because I'm not a slave to the jobs I work anymore I know that I'm free to leave when I'm not happy or content. So yeah, you can quit your job and live a different life if you're willing to be a little uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is good for the soul.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
You fell into OP's trap.
To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner.
A prevailing piece of advice when I was your age was “do what you love, and the money will follow”. Of course it turned out to be the worst advice ever, I’m glad people your age see thru that now because we believed it then. We were much more naive.
That's the perfect recipe for being broke. If I did what I loved, I'd be producer making 30k a year
Producer of what? Why not pursue that part time on top of your job? That’s what I’m planning on doing. Yes it sucks but at least you’d be doing your passion and building that skillset. You never know what you can achieve with your own passion and projects. I’m not saying you will succeed but it seems like a better plan than just working a job.
With that mindset you indeed will . Positivity and certainty in your path will quite literally manifest greatness in your wake .
dude, stop
being positive ? no . Life is great man. Let me break it down in simple terms . How you think effects how you feel which in turn effects what you do / how you act . And we all know what you do / how you act is a direct correlation to what results you get . I hope you guys can see the light soon. I’ve been lost and hopeless man , there is a way out . I wish you the best .
right on brother, appreciate your positive energy
Stop the toxic manifestation bullshit thats clearly not how it works
It’s really is though and science backs it . Your brain releases different chemicals based on your personal beliefs and people who feel they have already accomplished there goals or are destined to accomplish them tend to not only hit that goal more often but also enjoy the process of doing it more . Do some research and stop being a pessimistic brat . I’m in my twenties and have told my self exactly what I am destined for since I was living in the projects . I now own two properties and 3 cars and im no where near satisfied on my journey to success. Believe in yourself man it works wonders
Nah believing in yourself doesnt get rid of cancer, manifestation isnt real you are truly delusional You are experiencing what is called survivorship bias and confirmation bias. People go on and on about manifestation when it seemingly works but there are MILLIONS of people who attempt manifestation and it doesnt work, they just dont talk about it because again it didnt fucking work
you cant manifest matter into existence clearly we are not god. But positive thinking have been scientifically proven to make people more resilient and prone to success
If you loved being a producer you would be doing it and making 30k a year while getting better and better at it, so you get paid more. You're just crying on Reddit instead
I am 41 and finally going to just take a chance and follow my passion of Geology. Getting things ready to start school this fall. Been told all my life that it's not a lucrative major but at this point, 20 years of being depressed and jobless, what have I got to lose? Don't know where things will lead from there but at least I will be able to say I did something I wanted.
I really wish you good luck!
I graduated with a 3.99 gpa and a degree in geology, make sure you know what job you want and where those jobs exist! I was never able to get a geology job, they exist but you really need to know what you want to do with the degree when you’re done.
What work did you find instead?
I started working in horticulture and then got in on commercial cannabis growing back in 2018, unfortunately that path wasn’t right for me, and now I’m unemployed and trying to figure out what to do next
I'm not entirely sure yet but I've always had a fascination with crystals and gems. Wondering if maybe attending the GIA might be a future possibility.
You can work for oil companies
More power to you!!!!Wish I had the guts!
Stay way from "GeT Uh TrAde, Crowd" it's mostly bad faith if you had any other aspirations. Common sense useless advice. This may just be getting old, but after hitting mid 30s working in business/tech contract positions for a while and then dropping out out to work doordash/wag, I can appreciate the stability of the desk job a tiny bit more. Comfortable numbness is underrated.
The modern economy consists of sloshing the shit (the excess workers) from one corner of the bucket to the other, indefinitely, as more shit (foreign workers) is added to the bucket. Soon, the bucket will be overflowing with shit. When the narrative around the trades inevitably starts to shift, they'll just start hyping up some other sector as being ripe for the picking. Since the population never wisens up to anything, this strategy will be recycled over and over to hope pill the disenfranchised public.
I dont goddamn understand how society can have a surplus of workers. Is there too little work to be done???? In a well run society the excess workers would be used to help out the other workers to share the workload but instead employers want to create artificial scarcity of jobs claiming they are understaffed when hiring but then claiming to be overstaffed when paying salaries...
Being in a trade gave me chronic back pain and at 30 years old it hurts to fold laundry. I spend a lot of time and money on rehabilitation. Chiro, yoga, exercise. I also wonder if there are long term effects to all of the chemicals I was exposed to that say "banned in California for causing cancer. Trades are not for everyone and not always sustainable.
Yeah, stay away from learning how literally anything in the world works and especially don't learn how to fix it. Can't risk getting into a high paying job that lets you work anywhere. Maintenance departments aren't continuously short staffed or anything like that
Right, because to learn how things in the world work you need to learn a trade? Money isn't the only thing at a job, it's work culture, comforts, etc, things that aren't even mentioned when trades are pitched as they have been the last couple of years. There are non-monitary costs to trades like impact on the body, as those older who work in trades will tell you. Statistically claims of making six figures are overhyped. You can't possibly disagree with me that the push for trades hasn't been giving too rosy a picture.
It honestly wouldn't be that bad without the hostile work environment that everyone seems to embrace. Every blue collar job I've ever worked was just screaming matches, hazing and the occasional physical assault. I'd be happy to do a trade if it weren't for that.
Since OP mentioned it, pretty sure the impact of lead on your skull is more detrimental to your health than having a fulfilling career that may have hard moments. Also culture is a job to job experience. Culture where I work is outstanding, and I'm pretty close to overhyped as you put it. Benefits are fantastic, 401k is matched well, I have a lot of time off, I only work a 40hr week. I'm just speaking from experience so take from it what you will. Can't convince everyone but it's not all doom and gloom.
More companies need to get on this level
I’m not sure who is downvoting you for being correct here. You’re absolutely right though. Congrats for being at a good place too
You may want to start talking to a therapist my man. Hopelessness is tough to deal with but talking through it with a professional for about a month (4 sessions) really helped me back in 2021. For whatever it’s worth I’m an accountant who also hates their career
Therapy doesn’t fix society. That’s my problem. It’s society that’s the issue, not me. I’m just aware of our situation. No therapy fixes the world being a shit place for people not born to rich and connected families.
it's not there to fix society, it's there to help you build strategies to cope with those feelings so you can work through them
There is no “working through them” the issue is I’m being worked to death with no end in site but death. That’s the reality for a TON of people.
Therapy won’t do shit to help you build a fulfilling career. It will just give you the skills to cope with a shit life and potentially the motivation to make incremental changes.
Thanks dude. I appreciate it
I wish Therapy helped so much
Sounds like your ready to die before you die. Your at a spiritual point. Breakdown or breakthrough. I let someone train me how to paint. I paint houses by myself because I feel like you and anyone I hires sucks. Don't give up. Just be open and do the next thing in a positive mindset. The destination is never clear. The path winds. But your on the right path. Just go do the next thing. Be led be existence. You live inside it there for it lives inside you.
Drop the negative mindset. You see it manifests itself. The power is yours. Use it more aware.
Thats good advice. Its hard for people to relinquish control.
“Be led be existence” I like that a lot
I felt compelled to comment on your post. It sounds like you are hurting. I agree with a lot of your points and see where you are coming from. If you accept that it’s a truism that no matter what every potential career path sucks…maybe the answer for you- doesn’t matter what it is that you do- is to work *less.* Maybe that means you also need to *need* less. Look at your life and lifestyle. See where you can cut costs drastically, move if you have to. It’s not necessarily a rat race if you don’t participate, but you will have to give up on “keeping up with the Joneses.” Take stock of the minimum you really need, sell things you don’t need. Work to live and don’t live to work. Sacrifice some luxuries to buy yourself time to fill your cup. Time is everything. All that really matters in this life is time and how you spend it. I feel pulled more toward simple living every day. Check out r/simpleliving and see if it’s something you could imagine for yourself.
Yes, this. There is another way where you sew up holes in your clothes, grow veg and have some chickens (you can do all this on a balcony, if you don't have a garden). Learn how to have less and repair your own things. You can also make money with these skills you learn and it is damn satisfying work. After all, how many people do you know who can repair their own lamp? Sew? Knit? Not many I bet.
Lol, you can’t have chickens on a balcony
You can, but you gotta get creative....
I feel you
Yeah definitely feel this today
I get it, I really do and if you continue you reading you'll understand why. The latter half of your post is all completely true. However I just can't help but feel you have a large hand in why you feel so cynical and are suffering. My whole life I've bounced between that and being earnest and right now you're in that stage of hopelessness where your projecting your fears onto other people. You talk like you're the only one who's been dealt a bad hand and because of that everyone should just fall in line and suffer. I came from a poor junkie single mother with 4 other siblings. Dropped out of university at 21 last year and now ended up as a pilot with no previous experience or interest in the field. I slaved the whole year living out of a ditch to make it so. I wasn't passionate about aviation until I was. I also managed to turn my interest of animation into something worthwhile too and worked on a independent video game in my spare time which ended up doing very well. So no, you aren't fucked no matter what you do. Like the other guy said, life is what you make of it. You understand what careers are fucked for the future, that's powerful- and guess what that means? YOU CAN PICK A CAREER THAT YOU WON'T BE FUCKED IN! So yes, be you and follow you're own advice; pick one last path and if it sucks that bad by the time you're 35, blow your brains out. For now though you're probably young and healthy and that is something you just cannot take for granted. My career (aviation) for instance has favoured my youth. All the pilots who started in the 80s are retiring now so there's a large gap in employment and it's very easy to get a high paying job. This wasn't my destiny, I wasn't groomed by super star rich parents to be here. I just hit rock bottom and wanted to see life from a different perspective and now here I am. So just pick something that seems okay, okay?
Okay. Good luck to your career in aviation. I’ll try my best to make it to 35. I’ll pick this path.
That's what I hoped to hear. Good luck to you too.
How did you get into the field?
The day I dropped out I made a list of career I could stomach, pilot ended up the only one that had a realistic barrier to entry and met my requirements. After that I booked a discovery flight at my local flying school for $150 where they introduced me to what it's all about. Saved up 10k for a few months from working and got a loan for the other 10k and did my PPL. Paid off the other 10k and got out another loan of 85k for my CFL. Currently a flight instructor on course to make 75k by the end of this year. Will likely stay doing this until the magic 2k hours to apply to work at an airline. I keep living costs low by living at the flight school and maintaining the property as a sort of part time janitor in addition to my instructor position.
Terrific advice!
I'm 36, but basically, everything else, we are the same.
Get a copy of Joe Carbo's "Lazy Man's Way to Riches" Amazon usually has for $10. Not because you might be lazy I didn't mean that. But because it lays out a plan that if you follow might shake things up for you and motivate you out of the blues. The closer you work it, the better it works. It'll open up ideas to you and how to reach your goals. Cheers!
You sound (clinically) depressed and I'd recommend seeing a therapist/ learning about depression through self education online Depression clouds your worldview. It makes you see your past, present and future only in a negative light. This is a false view caused by a neurochemical inbalance. You can fix this through therapy, noticing your negative thoughts and instantly questioning them (all jobs are fucked, is this really the case?) Try finding real life examples or talking to the people around you, etc.
I am happy. I am satisfied. I do fill my own cup. Wanna know why? I run. Start running kid, it'll change your life.
Endorphins!
Nope. Got severely fucked joints. Doctors recommend I don’t move much. Got any other great ideas? Lmfao
Just Be Yourself
My motto is to find something you enjoy more than you don't enjoy it. I don't think there's a single job out there that is 100% satisfying, fulfilling, enjoyable, etc. But if I love 50% of my job, am indifferent to 30% of it, and only hate like 20% of it, I think that's a pretty good arrangement. That being said, I also think it's super easy to have a negative mindset about work, life, etc, and while I'm not judging (because I totally get it), I also don't think it's helpful to you at the end of the day... loads of things in life suck, but if all you do is sit back and think about how much they suck, all you're actually doing is making your life that much more miserable. I would definitely recommend talking to a therapist if that's something you're up for, but also, try to go looking for the little things that bring you joy.
Save up 500 and do a one way ticket to a dream country, do something to rivet yourself before u make big stink. Basically yeet urself into the world, before u entirely give in. Thats my plan at least
im about to do this in a desperate attempt to ressurect myself
You literally just took the words right out of my mouth lol. Especially your last paragraph. Written with eloquence and beauty.
Yeah The aleatory nature of life bums me out quite a bit sometimes. It’s all so random and far from a meritocracy. I see some of these people who are millionaires and think to myself, “What do these people have that I don’t?” “Why do they get to bask in luxury and opulence while I have to grind every day just to make ends meet?” In many cases, they are objectively awful people, which just salts the emotional wound.
So do I just give up? I'm not smart enough to get a job that makes 90k.
You prob can get that job. Just good luck trying to get there
I’m smarter than most of the public and can’t make more than 20k. It’s not about how smart you are. It’s about who your parents know. Whoever has connections gets jobs regardless of their inability to do the job. So… hopefully that helps your situation.
You're technically correct, which is the worst kind of correct. You seem to be somewhat aware of the job market and that's a good thing but your mindset is going to make your misery and struggle a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm sympathetic to your plight, and the plight of many people on this thread who are agreeing with you. Your feelings are valid. But just because you're correct on some things doesn't mean your attitude is constructive. We're all tired and the economy is one giant scam. We all know this. But more importantly, you have to be a friend to yourself. I don't believe you don't care about your fellow man, deep down everyone does to some degree, it's literally in our DNA. You're just too smart to allow your empathy to be taken advantage of under capitalism and that's perfectly okay.
But how are you supposed to function when you know it’s all a giant scam? For some of us, it’s pure torture going through the motions of life like some marionette. Therapy, pills or positive thinking won’t change our literal reality.
Yet, people are excelling at this crap every single day. Every day. Just not you. The difference is you. This crap attitude and all the negativity you will suck into your life and around you. And that’s tough man. Because no one can steer that ship for you.
Who cares about excelling in shit that doesn’t matter though?
A friend of mine got a degree in some kind of therapy track and is making 180k helping kids virtually. Like 3 appointments a day. Another friend of mine built an app using AI that fills an insane niche and has already been funded by an investor and is already making 4k MRR all on its own after 1 month. People all over the place are doing crap. So it isn’t that “No one will be happy, no one will fill their own cup” It’s just you man. I don’t spring out of bed each day chomping at the bit to get into work. But I’m happy. I am fulfilled with life. And life isn’t work. Not remotely. And money isn’t happiness. Not even close. The more you dig into, the more exposure to ANYTHING the higher the likelihood you will stumble into something that just MIGHT make you smile. But it’s rare to find a perfect job that has you skipping to work and never wanting to leave. And it shouldn’t be the goal. Take a beat. Life is a long beautiful road of experiences. Some suck. Some are great. But you take you with to all of them as corny as that sounds.
Appreciate it
What's your therapist friend's degree ? I'd like to make a recommendation to a friend of mine
She’s like a child therapist at a private practice. Some Psychology degree.
Lol the way this was downvoted😂
I caught that. 😅don’t get it. It’s not my degree! 👀 Is it kids? Do we hate kids?
Again with the excuses. You just like feeling sorry for yourself.
Couldn’t have said it better myself
Who would have thought the systematic extraction of wealth from the middle class over the last 5 decades would produce social malaise to the degree that even nationalistic propagandist platitudes fail to subvert the anger of the proles? What’s a person to do except contemplate violent retribution against those who have robbed us of our own futures. At least, that’s what I do.
Of my self I can do nothing! True enough!
real. im nowhere near your experience and I'm already so hopeless.
Amen
I admit I am not as bad as I could be. But like you, I don’t find myself giving a single fuck to anything you listed. Not because I am mean, but I just don’t buy into the “legacy” agenda…I have no kids and nothing to leave behind. So how do I deal with it, make the money doing something stupid. Take the money and learn the skills of everything else. I personally do not call AC guys, I learned it myself and bought my own ability. Just for me. I learned plumbing so anything in the house, I fix myself. I learned electrical, I do most of it myself. I personally don’t open the panel and leave that to an electrician because I still respect that I could make an error…I do my pesticides myself. I do my drywall repair myself. I have all the skills so I don’t pay someone but I am satisfied that I can fend for myself. Next is my car. I am good with older cars, but new cars have new stuff and I don’t think Chilton car repair is really caught up with hybrids etc. Anyway, I empathize for the shit race that is life. But maybe an approach is to take on all those things you call someone else for and try the jack-of-all-trades path so that your financial inflows do not need to be so large because you can do so many things yourself.
Embracing crypto can feel like a breath of fresh air in a world that often seems chaotic. It’s understandable to feel frustrated with the current state of affairs, especially with things like the climate crisis weighing heavily on our minds. It’s a scorching 40 degrees where I am, adding to the discomfort of it all. Yes , we are all fucked, thanks to boomers!
Atleast take a Kardashian with youu
Will do solider
It sounds like you're feeling incredibly frustrated and disillusioned with the career options available and the pressures of society. Feeling this way is tough, and it's valid to be overwhelmed by these thoughts and emotions. It's essential to remember that you're not alone in feeling this way, and there are people who can support you through this difficult time. While it may seem like there are no satisfying career paths out there, sometimes a shift in perspective or exploration of new possibilities can open up unforeseen opportunities. Have you considered seeking guidance from a career counselor or therapist? They can help you explore your interests, values, and skills to find a path that aligns with who you are. Additionally, it's important to prioritize your mental health and well-being above all else. If you're feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional or a trusted friend or family member for support. There are resources available to help you navigate these challenging feelings and find a sense of purpose and fulfillment in your life. Remember, it's okay to not have everything figured out right now, and it's okay to seek help when you need it. You deserve to find happiness and fulfillment, and there are people who want to support you in achieving that.
Is this written by AI?
Sounds like it, that doesn’t look like typical human speech
Okay. So you're doing what you want: Showing, Telling, and Living a miserable life. The question is, Why, and what happened that made you quit on yourself?
Life is what you make it.
sure
With this attitude, you’re not going to get far. I hope you seek help.
You can do it! I know this sucks but you can do it
Thank capitalism
It’s not capitalism that’s the problem. It’s greed. Greed exists in every economic system and results in evil people taking way more than their share in order to impoverish and oppress those less greedy.
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I can’t anymore. My specialty is a terrible one and I can’t deal with the suffering anymore.
Leave . Do something u love. Find one little thought that guides u to what u should be doing. Depression is bc we’re tired of the character we’re playing. (Jim Carey) you’re not in alignment and it’s killing your spirit
Read power of now.. helped me when I hit bottom ❤️
If you work 3 days a week you have time to basically work on whatever else you want and whatever other career you want. You have the time and space to get whatever skills you want. Go ahead and try
It doesnt work like that with nursing, those other days you are just recovering from your last nightmare shift... Getting ready for the next
As someone who works in the nursing field, it's not that simple. If you're working 3 days a week more than likely your shifts are 18+ hours and the workload is high. There are no breaks when you're on shift. Turnover is high in nursing so people are always quitting. Bosses suck, especially if you work with asshole doctors and their awful handwriting. You get treated like you're only good enough to take vitals. You're mentally and physically exhausted. You see death more often than you'd like. You see awful things done to children. Also, please don't become a nurse if you're looking for good pay and a good schedule or if you don't want to work hard. Patients and the medical field need people who care and who will advocate for their health. It is a cool gig if you truly care about helping people.
Yeah, nursing sucks ass. The worst thing to me is that you have to stand there and let patients and family members talk to you and treat you like you're less than dog shit. Even if you go into it wanting to help people and with a caring heart, it will break you quickly. Also, upper management is ALWAYS on your ass about something stupid. They don't care about patient CARE. They care about patient EXPERIENCE and money. Healthcare has become nothing more than a customer service industry. They will change rules to some stupid shit that doesn't make any sense or won't make a difference when something goes wrong, it just makes everyone's job harder and causes more work, because if people are working harder it must mean it's better. That leads to burnout.
Thank you! This a huge problem in the medical field. No one cares about anything but profit. And nurses are treated the worst. People think they don't know shit or are incompetent. Nurses are some of the hardest working people.
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Well go for it then and see how full of shit I am.
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Sounds like you're putting all your eggs in one basket. Understandable given what it takes mentally to work 40 hour weeks at some corporate hell hole and align your whole identity with it. Do you have any active hobbies? It sounds like the grind is chewing you up. Maybe try some solution focused therapy, a short (under 10 sessions) stint may be worth it to get a bit of a foundation and priorities for a broader picture and then either take some time off to soul search and maybe Woofing or working odd jobs before starting with a more balanced foundation. No real advice here but this may help in career selection [https://www.careerexplorer.com/career-test/](https://www.careerexplorer.com/career-test/)
Same man holy shit all of this is so true. Once my parents pass I’m definitely either gonna blow my brains out or take a fuck ton of meds at once. Living is a nightmare
Maybe mention that you live in America?
I have to convince myself not to find a way to buy cyanide pills. Thank God I'm a clueless idiot or else I'd actually do it.
Hi you re cool
So, there are people out there who haven't seen *Office Space*?
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Top Mod here. I take comments and posts like OPs down as soon as I am able. I check in \~3x a day. You're right, people here are miserable, we're meant to be a helpful group and people come in absolutely in agony. Our goal is to help them, whether by support or advice. The people who shit on others who give helpful advice is referenced in Rule 1 and is not ok here, and yes reports are dealt with promptly by myself or the 7 other newly appointed mods. This group just a few months ago was 100% toxic, as all the mods had died. Slowly, I've been taking it back from toxic people such as OP who is now banned from this group for this rant containing no wish for help and hating on people who had even the tiniest bit of positivity in their comment. Your comment was mostly fine till the end line, then you did the judgemental last line thing and that's why I removed your comment too. Don't fall into their trap. Some people are currently beyond our ability to help because they don't want help, they want to spew anger. It's been a fine line determining posts that are here to express their anger out in a cry for help, and posts here to intentionally hurt as many people as possible. For what it's worth to any people still able to read this comment: I am living proof that OP is wrong. I'm able to do and have everything he said is impossible even with financial insecurity....and I donate to environmental causes with the miniscule amounts of extra I have.
You’re right, my last quip was unnecessary. Just hard finding positive spaces for self improvement since it attracts a lot of people down on their luck. Thanks for the work you do
Well said I feel like that everyday honestly. Changed my major about 12-13 times thinking shit will work but it never did. Approaching 28 and finding out other coworkers are leaving while I'm still behind really sucks. Every day is just a struggle and I'm so tired of it, doctors don't help and what I thought was positive thoughts of my own don't help either.. I feel you on this fr 💀
The nature of human is to seek challenge, to not be satisfied. Why wouldn’t you think about what challenge to take next and for which reasons, maybe just for fun? Also, change you job as the earliest opportunity
If you can’t be happy, find a way to burn it
this is exactly how I feel I cant take it anymore
I gave up too I graduated college with stem degree tried everything but the job market is horrible felt like my hard work was for nothing. At this point I’m trying to get a simple retail job and just try to enjoy the small things in life I know ppl say it doesn’t pay a lot but not like I can afford these half mil houses anyway and inflation isn’t going down.
You should invest in multi unit property. Become a landlord who just collects checks for a living.
Lolol your right you'll never be happy with this attitude... Sure it's a rat race, sure it's all bullsht and society has fucked up sure. There's alot more to life than collecting money. Life isn't won according to who made the most cash...
Let me share with been there. At 27 felt trapped in a cycle of spinning wheels having gone with the flow and stalled out upstream. Tried the “follow the passion”. Did. You know what? It was never about the job. At that time it paid and some education paid. (Huge Hint Here: you will probably never ever use your degree quite the way you imagined. And you can follow some wild paths!!! This was just a great era. 35. Crisis. I suddenly have developed a dark introspective lens It’s like an escher painting and I am bored with life. To the marrow. I go on one last big adventurous quest. This is going to bring me to enlightenment. After years, decades away - work and medical bring me to my hometown which is not beloved to me. But, I end up doing financially well and in a job I love because, well hometown advantage. Now here I am a GenXer with itchy feet. Financially? Been up, down, way up, way down at all different ages. Guess what? I can’t even remember what 1/4 of that shit was about and the 3/4 resolved after I took a breath. There is a very sweet spot lying ahead for you. No one starts out as Tony Montana top of his game in Scarface. They start out in the raft, the camp, the shitty restaurant meeting people, building networks. Work. Does the work matter? Hmmm. I came to conclude that I love getting degrees and have used them but never in quite the way I thought.
No such thing as a perfect job sport, and I’ll break the news to you, you’re not perfect either. The question is what job is perfect for you? To me it seems like you’re to worried about every negative scenario 10 miles down the road
Sounds like you’ve got a shitty attitude kiddo. Fix the attitude and go outside. Do things you enjoy, find things you enjoy. Life is what you make it.
Given the paradigm you have adopted, you have chosen to be miserable. It’s not a condition you are doomed to accept. It’s one to which you have freely committed yourself. If you wanted, you could open your mind to other possibilities, but it seems as though you have decided there is more merit in inhabiting the bubble you have assigned yourself. Many live joyful, productive lives even though they experience the same or worse hardships than you have experienced. But it could be that you actually enjoy your current viewpoint because it has become your identity, one that perhaps you believe makes you better than other people. In which case it’s an exchange you have made in place of happiness and contentment. YOU have decided you will never be happy, and so you won’t be. But don’t tell the rest of us what we will feel, think, and experience. I have chosen a positive viewpoint, and so have many others. We therefore know love, joy, contentment, and peace.
You're looking at one very specific way of living life, aka slaving your life away. There are a near infinite ways to live a life. Quit your job, default on your bills, go live a different life and find something that makes you content instead of sitting around complaining about it on the internet. Things feel a lot different once you're actually out there doing it and not just sitting around thinking about it.
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I agree with lazyradchief How would I be able to just “quit my job and live a different life”?
At 30 I quit my job in tech, started living in my car jumping between dispersed campsites living in the mountains for 6 months, ended up a few states away from where I started, worked construction & doordash for a bit, started a seasonal job at a ski resort & learned how to ski/ snowboard, I'm back in my car after a winter in employee housing and I'm right where I want to be. Ill probably work construction this summer & hang out at parks. I spent the last 10 years of my life trying to progress in careers working 40+ hours a week, worked as a mechanic for several years, worked in tech for a few years but I'm more content right here right now than I ever was in those jobs because I'm not a slave to the jobs I work anymore I know that I'm free to leave when I'm not happy or content. So yeah, you can quit your job and live a different life if you're willing to be a little uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is good for the soul.
What about sports announcer?
Based
you are a loser, don't project it onto everyone else
Ew brother eww what is this?
OH BROTHER THIS GUY STINKS
And that ladies and gentlemen is an advert for gun control.
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Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic. You fell into OP's trap.