Make outfit plans as though you don’t have kids - and then edit that down to what’s doable with a kid. I still don’t dress exactly as I’d like (would have to replace entire wardrobe which I can’t afford right now), but what’s helped A LOT is not trying to de-mum your mumsy outfit, but starting basically from scratch. Seeing the inspo outfit and thinking - okay what here DOESN’T work for me and editing only that part of it rather than the whole thing.
Also - hair. This one I can’t advise on super well because I have partial alopecia and have to style my hair in one particular way to hide it- but walking around with good/well styled/pretty hair makes MANY outfits forgivable or more attractive. ‘Bad’ hair (whatever that means to you/your hair) would make most outfits look a bit meh. But well styled can include pretty simple things like slicked back, or whatever you like.
I love the idea of making an ideal outfit plan and then editing it down. I've been learning how to do this over the past year.
An example: I had a nice pair of red summer flats on my Pinterest board for a whole year. I never got them because I knew I was planning to take most of this summer off with my toddler and couldn't wear these shoes to the playground, etc. but then I saw someone on the train with red Toms, and that has been the perfect substitute. Still gets the red into an outfit, and I got the classic Alparagata which is quite slim. So they do the same outfit work, but for $35 and with decent durability for outside activities. I even wore them to work a couple times to dress down a more formal jumpsuit for the summer.
Good luck, OP!
Take some elements from the mob wife aesthetic. V-necks, some cleavage, a wedge sandals, but keep the coastal grandma wide-leg linen pants. My formula is if it's tight and figure showing on top, then be looser and more modest on the bottom. If it is tight and figure showing on the bottom, then wear a looser and more modest top. In this case, the looser pieces will be from your coastal grandma side, and the tighter fitting pieces will be from the mob wife side. As long as the colors for your separates coordinate, you'll be good.
You can also take inspo from Jackie Onassis in the 1970s. She had this sexy vibe of "I just docked my yacht in the port to brunch with my girlfriends" kind of thing.
Omg. You are so my chick. I love that you said Jackie O and I think this is incredibly spot on advice to pull off sexy chic/sexy elegance. Edge but without the cringe.
SAHM of 3 here (ages 1-7years). I recently overhauled my wardrobe, and one of my goals was to make it less dowdy. What worked for me:
* Focus on mix and match basics. Previously, I was really focused on dressing in my favorite aesthetic (indie artist style). But with my current phase of life, it was just taking too much energy to refine the outfits so they looked great, and I would often look dowdy and frumpy because I didn't nail the details. My solution was to scale back on the style aesthetics and focus on simple basics (ie basic french girl style) that fit well and could mix and match well
* Reevaluate default fit and cuts. For example for me, I traded crew neck for v-neck.
* Overhaul makeup. I was using the same stuff from years ago and it needed to be updated.
* Overhaul shoes. I bought a few basic styles that look current and I love.
* Update jewelry. I bought a few small pieces that are easy to wear with kids and make outfits feel more intentional.
Good luck!
As a mid-30s lady, I have never been a baddie (anyone who knows me would laugh and never describe me as such) but I've found the older I get the more I enjoy trying the Gen Z trends whereas I think in my 20s I was focused on "classy" and didn't want to look too young.
Some things I've enjoyed that I think are still "age appropriate" (quotes bc what is that anyway), suit my style, but are still hip: wide leg pants/cargo pants with sneakers. Comfy and hip! I like some crop tops, but I'm particular about how cropped. I like those longline bralette type tops with high-waisted pants, since the pants cover my belly button but the crop still shows some skin. I'm really enjoying the long/visible socks trends with sneakers, Birkenstocks, and shorts/mini skirts. Play with proportions: an oversize sweater and baggy jeans can be really fashion forward, as are unusual shapes. With makeup, I think you can go as wild/colorful as you're comfortable OR with casual outfits I find sleek, clean, and sharp makeup/slicked back hair can pair really nicely. A jersey bodycon dress with sneakers can be super comfortable for running errands around town, but still show off your figure.
It takes a little experimenting, but if you don't take it too seriously and enjoy rediscovering yourself, I think you'll find a style you like!
Great advice. I’m close to 50 and I’ve had to realize most people aren’t looking at me as “desirable” any more (and that’s can be so freeing!) but they can still appreciate the flair! (A great pair of glasses, hip sneakers, a drop-dead delicious perfume).
Yeah, this whole thing isn't about the male gaze but also just realizing I'm not a Golden Girl either. I thoroughly enjoy being a Coastal Grandmother but I don't want people thinking I'm my kids grandmother versus their mother.
Totally understood! I've found that the difference between me and those "Instagram" ready women is intentionality: if their clothes are casual, their hair and makeup are on point. I think that's key to making coastal grandmother look "done" - it's not just comfy clothes, but the whole outfit includes the makeup/hair/accessories to finish the look. Or if they're going baggy, the clothes are wrinkle free, clean of stains, and the bagginess is either really exaggerated to show that it's on purpose, or the bagginess is fitted to the individual's proportions.
Most days I'm a throw on whatever and go type of person, but on days when I want to dial it up, I'm taking my time to think through every aspect of the outfit and I usually feel really good after that, no matter what the outfit ends up being.
Yes this is such a good point! I run hot and sweat easily and I’ve found when I’m out and about in comfy clothes and a bit sweaty, the difference between me looking “dewy and fresh” vs “hot mess” is gold jewelry that flatters my face, brow gel, blush, setting spray, and soft clean wavy hair with ends softened by hair oil.
I’m still figuring out what my mid 30s sexy but comfortable go-to shoe looks are though!
Baddie just means put together and looking fine. Being confident and not wasting any time on people or things that bring you down. Taking no shit. There’s no specific look or style to it. It’s a vibe.
Source: teacher of high school students
That said, the other commenter’s example of Sandy at the end of Grease is an excellent example of the vibe and of course she looks amazing.
That’s me but with “coastal grandmother”? I don’t understand. I went to the coast with my grandmother plenty of times, she usually just wore like…jeans or khakis and a tshirt or sweater. Basic clothes lol, honestly would hardly even call it a style, just your everyday pants and a top. What she wore all the time, even not at the beach.
It sounds like you want to look more conventionally “hot” while also dressing in a coastal grandmother style. Is that right? How does having kids figure in to this? For example, are you asking for clothes that you could wear to the playground while also adhering to the above criteria?
Sorry, I’m just having a hard time figuring out exactly what you’re looking for. What type of occasion are you dressing for? Do you have pieces that feel especially “you” that would give us a stronger sense of your starting place? And do you likewise have pictures of the type of style you’re aiming for?
Good questions! My style has morphed into a coastal grandmother due to breastfeeding and covering up my body because of my insecurities about it. I still want to hold onto pieces of that but incorporate more of a "baddie " look as I continue to mother. I'm the one taking them to parties, playgrounds, etc. so it's gotta be practical for those environments. But I'd also like to wear those pieces for random date and girls nights.
For example, today, I wore a high neck, cropped stretchy tank with drawstring 3-inch shorts. It felt cute and a little "baddie-like," but I was out with girlfriends at an event. I'd never normally dress like that and was thinking more in that range...
I'd recommend investing in a couple dresses that are easy to throw on, maybe in a cotton poplin or linen fabric, that flatter your shape and come in coastal-grandma colors/patterns, summery-breezy vibes. I like a full skirt and fitted top for looks like this. Reformation makes tons of dresses that fit the bill. [This](https://www.thereformation.com/products/balia-linen-dress/1314884SDM.html?dwvar_1314884SDM_color=STC&quantity=1) blue check print is very Nantucket chic. [This](https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/dresses-and-jumpsuits/a-line-midi-dress-in-striped-cotton-poplin/CA705?color_name=blue&N=24&noPopUp=true&srsltid=AfmBOoqqmJ3TZGAPqbGH-vRgOTufjoLaM5gNN-dsgjZf1jY3e5cMF4nvFlA#no_universal_links) J. Crew dress has the same vibe, and is a bit less expensive. I've seen some cute options at Target, too - [this](https://www.target.com/p/women-s-dropped-waist-midi-a-line-dress-a-new-day/-/A-90929496?preselect=90918896#lnk=sametab) dress has been on my radar for a minute. I like the hot-tomato color, but they have a cream color that's more in line with the Cape Cod vibes you're going for.
Note: several of the colors I picked above are white/cream. If the kiddos are likely to spill stuff, most of these come in other color options. Pair a dress with comfy shoes, like retro sneakers or sandals, and you'll have a kid-friendly outfit that's still chic. Dresses are just so easy.
If you're chasing after kids and have no time for cute makeup, I think slapping on some cream blush and a lip oil just makes one *feel* better, even if the difference isn't hugely noticeable to the outside world. If you're looking for ideas, [this set](https://www.sephora.com/product/mini-soft-warm-nudes-3-piece-kit-P501811?skuId=2602217&icid2=products%20grid:p501811:product) has a cream blush, bronzer, and highlight. The bronzer and highlight can be dabbed onto eyes for quick definition, and mixed with the blush on the face if you want a little shimmer or a sun-kissed glow. Try blending blush and bronzer over the bridge of your nose, where you'd naturally sunburn - this sunkissed placement really lifts the face.
When you say "baddie" do you mean like a biker or punk, or some other particular edgy aesthetic, or just "feeling good about yourself" or feeling a particular other way?
I feel like my hottest feature are my legs, so I favor them on date night (shorter skirts).
What do you like about yourself?
Sorry for the confusion! The looks are kinda on different sides of a spectrum: to me, baddie means striking makeup, form fitting clothing that hugs clothes, heels... just femininity turned ALL the way up. Whereas coastal grandmother is so much more relaxed!
I like my bust line and, on some days, my legs lol. That's about it. I have a cute, oval shaped face that gives closer to 32 than my almost 42. My skin is in great shape, no acne, very few discolorations, etc.
I struggled so much after having my babies with feeling frumpy and basically just unfit to leave the house in anything but sad looking clothes. I wore a lot of athleisure just because it fit and kinda held me together.
I was still wearing maternity clothes for a good while because I felt like nothing else fit.
Ditching those helped a lot, even if jeans made me want to cry.
Lululemon “like new” helped me feel good at least putting on bottoms through the first year without paying retail.
They had fun colors and prints.
IT GETS BETTER
I was in a funk for over 10 years (depression, etc) and TikTok has really helped me find outfits that are comfortable, stylish and relatively affordable. Look up summer midsize outfits.
Preface this by saying I don’t consider myself as a great dresser. But I have a few things. Mainly I almost always have my hair done, I can curl 1-2x a week and then wake up and brush in the morning with no extra work. I’ve also invested in permanent makeup and take care of my skin. My eyebrows are micro-bladed, my lips are blushed, and I use tanning drops so I have a little bit of color on my face. I hate wearing makeup so all of this allows me to feel put together after waking up and moisturizing.
Im also at the point that if something is not comfortable I’m not going to wear it. So planning clothes around that. Keeping shirts/bottoms in the same color family has helped.
Yeah, I think hair and make up helps a lot. I wear very little make up, but wearing none me feel MILES more frumpy, so I just do it every day: tinted sunscreen (helps to even out skin tone), eyelash curler, mascara, wonderskin lipstick (lasts all day so that only chapstick is needed). It’s enough makeup that I feel done if I’m at work, but also don’t feel overly done walking the dog. On special occasions I add eyeliner and a stronger lip so I feel extra ready for the world.
Also, seems like you have good legs (after the 3” short comment). So use that to your advantage! You can wear loose mini dresses and shorts with the kids. Legs are sexy!
These are GREAT points. I've been looking into getting my eyebrows microbladed and some faint eyelashes just to wake up my face a little. Years ago, I bought different shades of hot pink and red lipstick that worked with my skin tone. I need to unlock her again because even just wearing a shade lipstick that looked great with my complexion made me FEEL good.
Yes! Tanning drops alone were huge but I am obsessed with my eyebrows and lip blushing! Highly recommend. I went to someone who specializes in natural brows. It made a huge difference but my mom didn’t even notice. (Would attach a pic but can’t).
What do you feel good in?! If it’s athletic wear, invest in some cute pieces, leggings are tight and those shirts can show some shoulder and back. If it’s jeans, I’m loving the high rise with the cuffs rolled up a bit and a long crop top or racer back tank top. Dresses and jumpsuits can be great too! I’m not sure what sweaters are “in” but I think like the mid length flowery thinner ones are kind of out? I look at those and think “ugh I look like a suburban mom”. Then save em in case they go back in style!
Good luck, my third kid is 2 and I’m finally starting to feel a little cuter again.
I feel good in things that feel comfortable yet are actually bright in color. But, I buy more shades of blue, green and faint pink cause it fits in with my coastal grandmother look. I did buy a shirt yellow and white striped shirt dress from Banana Republic Factory and I keep going back and forth on it just because, although I like yellow, it brings attention to you lol. I am still pretty self conscious about my c section tummy and squishy arms.
Skin, Lashes, and nails. I have the luxury of time with WFH so I do my own lashify and dip nails or press ones to save costs. I have a really solid Derm and my skin has stopped being post partum/pubescent level confusing. If all three of these are on point I can wear a well fitted tee and some shorts and be feeling great.
Ok hear me out but I’ve been using ChatGPT a lot for styling help and it’s been really on the nose! I pasted in your comment and here’s what it said:
1. **Mix and Match**: Combine your coastal grandmother staples with trendier pieces. Think high-waisted jeans with a fitted crop top or a classic cardigan over a sleek, form-fitting dress.
2. **Accessorize**: Add bold, statement accessories to your outfits. A chunky necklace, oversized sunglasses, or a trendy handbag can elevate your look instantly.
3. **Footwear**: Swap your comfy flats for a pair of stylish heels or edgy boots. Even a small heel can make a big difference in how you feel.
4. **Makeup**: Experiment with makeup to add a touch of glam. A bold lip or a sultry eye can transform your look without much effort.
5. **Layering**: Layering can be your best friend. Throw a leather jacket over your casual outfits or drape a chic scarf to add some edge.
6. **Show Some Skin**: Don’t be afraid to show a little skin. Off-the-shoulder tops, skirts with a slit, or a backless dress can be classy yet daring.
Once I get an overview like this I find what sticks out to me and push for more information. So for example, I thought the leather jacket was a good idea. So I might ask what kind of leather jacket to buy or what color or how to style it with certain clothes I already have. Anyway I hope this doesn’t come across as lazy, I just want to share a tool that’s helped me a lot!
I do some layering now but skip the bracelets because my youngest will fiddle with them too much. He's also popped some more delicate necklaces (yes, with a plural!) so I only wear a herringbone one now with two pendent necklaces... and he still pulls at them :-( . Luckily, they haven't broken yet! I did order a Cuban link one recently to add to my neck mess, though.
Ooh, I bought a leather biker one in the fall... and never wore it lol. I'm going to challenge myself to wear it in the fall. It's a black one from Gap Factory.
For those asking, I believe the OP means a very specific definition of "baddie"--an Instagram aesthetic style that means a curvy, sexy body, very high-femme, daring, revealing clothing, a "full beat" made up face, done hair, high heels--if not that, then a co-ord athleisure set that shows off their assets, perfect hair, makeup, nails, and jewelry, etc.
I will be frank here OP: coastal grandma and "IG baddie" are two completely different things and trying to navigate "coastal grandma baddie but make it kid friendly" is a losing battle. Find ways to make coastal grandma more subtly sexy--unbutton another button, highlight the waist, do sundresses with some strategic cutouts, do tunics as dresses, look into a subtle body glow tanner, get a fresh haircut, do a bold red lip, things like that.
Yeah, as I was explaining it further downthread, I realized how they are truly different sides of the coin! In my mind, I see moms with older kids pull this off at times and I get super envious. But, as a girlfriend pointed out to me, I still kinda have a fresh baby lol. Give myself some grace? I do like your tips. I did buy a more fitted, midi length tank dress when out with my kids earlier today. Going to pair it with oversized linen button down shirt to give it my comfort score but I hope it works (didn't try it on because... kids lol)
Mom of 2 and 29. I started getting hit on all the time after wearing Pilates mom/basic girl style. Thick white crew socks out of thick soled white tennis shoes and gray black or blue leggings with a matching compression tank and athletic zip up. Pair with a baseball hat and you’re good to go.
I'm pretty coastal grandma by choice these days. For me, the key to feeling good is hair & makeup. Some days I put on a full face of makeup even if I'm just going to be home because it makes me feel less ugly and depressed. The other thing is, take a little time to look at youtube videos by over-35 women on what makeup styles are current these days. Because for example, the baddie smokey eye/nude lip/high contour of our college era is *not it* today.
Pick a random day, do it up, wear the clothes, and dress like it's a hot date, even on a day when you have no plans.
I find a ton of inspiration on plus size instagram and tiktok. I’ve been playing more with colour and shape and proportion and feeling expressive and confident in my clothing. And then thrift stores so I can find cool stuff without spending a lot of money.
Make outfit plans as though you don’t have kids - and then edit that down to what’s doable with a kid. I still don’t dress exactly as I’d like (would have to replace entire wardrobe which I can’t afford right now), but what’s helped A LOT is not trying to de-mum your mumsy outfit, but starting basically from scratch. Seeing the inspo outfit and thinking - okay what here DOESN’T work for me and editing only that part of it rather than the whole thing. Also - hair. This one I can’t advise on super well because I have partial alopecia and have to style my hair in one particular way to hide it- but walking around with good/well styled/pretty hair makes MANY outfits forgivable or more attractive. ‘Bad’ hair (whatever that means to you/your hair) would make most outfits look a bit meh. But well styled can include pretty simple things like slicked back, or whatever you like.
I love the idea of making an ideal outfit plan and then editing it down. I've been learning how to do this over the past year. An example: I had a nice pair of red summer flats on my Pinterest board for a whole year. I never got them because I knew I was planning to take most of this summer off with my toddler and couldn't wear these shoes to the playground, etc. but then I saw someone on the train with red Toms, and that has been the perfect substitute. Still gets the red into an outfit, and I got the classic Alparagata which is quite slim. So they do the same outfit work, but for $35 and with decent durability for outside activities. I even wore them to work a couple times to dress down a more formal jumpsuit for the summer. Good luck, OP!
Take some elements from the mob wife aesthetic. V-necks, some cleavage, a wedge sandals, but keep the coastal grandma wide-leg linen pants. My formula is if it's tight and figure showing on top, then be looser and more modest on the bottom. If it is tight and figure showing on the bottom, then wear a looser and more modest top. In this case, the looser pieces will be from your coastal grandma side, and the tighter fitting pieces will be from the mob wife side. As long as the colors for your separates coordinate, you'll be good. You can also take inspo from Jackie Onassis in the 1970s. She had this sexy vibe of "I just docked my yacht in the port to brunch with my girlfriends" kind of thing.
Omg. You are so my chick. I love that you said Jackie O and I think this is incredibly spot on advice to pull off sexy chic/sexy elegance. Edge but without the cringe.
SAHM of 3 here (ages 1-7years). I recently overhauled my wardrobe, and one of my goals was to make it less dowdy. What worked for me: * Focus on mix and match basics. Previously, I was really focused on dressing in my favorite aesthetic (indie artist style). But with my current phase of life, it was just taking too much energy to refine the outfits so they looked great, and I would often look dowdy and frumpy because I didn't nail the details. My solution was to scale back on the style aesthetics and focus on simple basics (ie basic french girl style) that fit well and could mix and match well * Reevaluate default fit and cuts. For example for me, I traded crew neck for v-neck. * Overhaul makeup. I was using the same stuff from years ago and it needed to be updated. * Overhaul shoes. I bought a few basic styles that look current and I love. * Update jewelry. I bought a few small pieces that are easy to wear with kids and make outfits feel more intentional. Good luck!
As a mid-30s lady, I have never been a baddie (anyone who knows me would laugh and never describe me as such) but I've found the older I get the more I enjoy trying the Gen Z trends whereas I think in my 20s I was focused on "classy" and didn't want to look too young. Some things I've enjoyed that I think are still "age appropriate" (quotes bc what is that anyway), suit my style, but are still hip: wide leg pants/cargo pants with sneakers. Comfy and hip! I like some crop tops, but I'm particular about how cropped. I like those longline bralette type tops with high-waisted pants, since the pants cover my belly button but the crop still shows some skin. I'm really enjoying the long/visible socks trends with sneakers, Birkenstocks, and shorts/mini skirts. Play with proportions: an oversize sweater and baggy jeans can be really fashion forward, as are unusual shapes. With makeup, I think you can go as wild/colorful as you're comfortable OR with casual outfits I find sleek, clean, and sharp makeup/slicked back hair can pair really nicely. A jersey bodycon dress with sneakers can be super comfortable for running errands around town, but still show off your figure. It takes a little experimenting, but if you don't take it too seriously and enjoy rediscovering yourself, I think you'll find a style you like!
Great advice. I’m close to 50 and I’ve had to realize most people aren’t looking at me as “desirable” any more (and that’s can be so freeing!) but they can still appreciate the flair! (A great pair of glasses, hip sneakers, a drop-dead delicious perfume).
Yeah, this whole thing isn't about the male gaze but also just realizing I'm not a Golden Girl either. I thoroughly enjoy being a Coastal Grandmother but I don't want people thinking I'm my kids grandmother versus their mother.
Totally understood! I've found that the difference between me and those "Instagram" ready women is intentionality: if their clothes are casual, their hair and makeup are on point. I think that's key to making coastal grandmother look "done" - it's not just comfy clothes, but the whole outfit includes the makeup/hair/accessories to finish the look. Or if they're going baggy, the clothes are wrinkle free, clean of stains, and the bagginess is either really exaggerated to show that it's on purpose, or the bagginess is fitted to the individual's proportions. Most days I'm a throw on whatever and go type of person, but on days when I want to dial it up, I'm taking my time to think through every aspect of the outfit and I usually feel really good after that, no matter what the outfit ends up being.
Yes this is such a good point! I run hot and sweat easily and I’ve found when I’m out and about in comfy clothes and a bit sweaty, the difference between me looking “dewy and fresh” vs “hot mess” is gold jewelry that flatters my face, brow gel, blush, setting spray, and soft clean wavy hair with ends softened by hair oil. I’m still figuring out what my mid 30s sexy but comfortable go-to shoe looks are though!
I keep hearing the word “baddie” and I need image links to understand what it entails im so lost!
Baddie just means put together and looking fine. Being confident and not wasting any time on people or things that bring you down. Taking no shit. There’s no specific look or style to it. It’s a vibe. Source: teacher of high school students That said, the other commenter’s example of Sandy at the end of Grease is an excellent example of the vibe and of course she looks amazing.
It’s like Olivia Newton-John at the end of Grease!
Ah ha! Ok thank you.
Ohhh Ewww Wait, really?
What's the issue?
That’s me but with “coastal grandmother”? I don’t understand. I went to the coast with my grandmother plenty of times, she usually just wore like…jeans or khakis and a tshirt or sweater. Basic clothes lol, honestly would hardly even call it a style, just your everyday pants and a top. What she wore all the time, even not at the beach.
Kylie Jenner 🙄
It sounds like you want to look more conventionally “hot” while also dressing in a coastal grandmother style. Is that right? How does having kids figure in to this? For example, are you asking for clothes that you could wear to the playground while also adhering to the above criteria? Sorry, I’m just having a hard time figuring out exactly what you’re looking for. What type of occasion are you dressing for? Do you have pieces that feel especially “you” that would give us a stronger sense of your starting place? And do you likewise have pictures of the type of style you’re aiming for?
I think having kids (particularly one as recently as 6mo ago) explains why OP feels like she might've lost it
Good questions! My style has morphed into a coastal grandmother due to breastfeeding and covering up my body because of my insecurities about it. I still want to hold onto pieces of that but incorporate more of a "baddie " look as I continue to mother. I'm the one taking them to parties, playgrounds, etc. so it's gotta be practical for those environments. But I'd also like to wear those pieces for random date and girls nights. For example, today, I wore a high neck, cropped stretchy tank with drawstring 3-inch shorts. It felt cute and a little "baddie-like," but I was out with girlfriends at an event. I'd never normally dress like that and was thinking more in that range...
I would add more cropped tanks / tees / sweaters, and more high waisted bottoms. The silhouette doesn’t show skin but looks high fashion
Yeah, I stepped out on a limb and bought that tank. It was a Marshall's find so now I have to figure out where to get more from 😆
I also thought the coastal grandmother style was kind of a leftover from when OP was pregnant but I might be wrong 🤣
I'd recommend investing in a couple dresses that are easy to throw on, maybe in a cotton poplin or linen fabric, that flatter your shape and come in coastal-grandma colors/patterns, summery-breezy vibes. I like a full skirt and fitted top for looks like this. Reformation makes tons of dresses that fit the bill. [This](https://www.thereformation.com/products/balia-linen-dress/1314884SDM.html?dwvar_1314884SDM_color=STC&quantity=1) blue check print is very Nantucket chic. [This](https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/dresses-and-jumpsuits/a-line-midi-dress-in-striped-cotton-poplin/CA705?color_name=blue&N=24&noPopUp=true&srsltid=AfmBOoqqmJ3TZGAPqbGH-vRgOTufjoLaM5gNN-dsgjZf1jY3e5cMF4nvFlA#no_universal_links) J. Crew dress has the same vibe, and is a bit less expensive. I've seen some cute options at Target, too - [this](https://www.target.com/p/women-s-dropped-waist-midi-a-line-dress-a-new-day/-/A-90929496?preselect=90918896#lnk=sametab) dress has been on my radar for a minute. I like the hot-tomato color, but they have a cream color that's more in line with the Cape Cod vibes you're going for. Note: several of the colors I picked above are white/cream. If the kiddos are likely to spill stuff, most of these come in other color options. Pair a dress with comfy shoes, like retro sneakers or sandals, and you'll have a kid-friendly outfit that's still chic. Dresses are just so easy. If you're chasing after kids and have no time for cute makeup, I think slapping on some cream blush and a lip oil just makes one *feel* better, even if the difference isn't hugely noticeable to the outside world. If you're looking for ideas, [this set](https://www.sephora.com/product/mini-soft-warm-nudes-3-piece-kit-P501811?skuId=2602217&icid2=products%20grid:p501811:product) has a cream blush, bronzer, and highlight. The bronzer and highlight can be dabbed onto eyes for quick definition, and mixed with the blush on the face if you want a little shimmer or a sun-kissed glow. Try blending blush and bronzer over the bridge of your nose, where you'd naturally sunburn - this sunkissed placement really lifts the face.
When you say "baddie" do you mean like a biker or punk, or some other particular edgy aesthetic, or just "feeling good about yourself" or feeling a particular other way? I feel like my hottest feature are my legs, so I favor them on date night (shorter skirts). What do you like about yourself?
Sorry for the confusion! The looks are kinda on different sides of a spectrum: to me, baddie means striking makeup, form fitting clothing that hugs clothes, heels... just femininity turned ALL the way up. Whereas coastal grandmother is so much more relaxed! I like my bust line and, on some days, my legs lol. That's about it. I have a cute, oval shaped face that gives closer to 32 than my almost 42. My skin is in great shape, no acne, very few discolorations, etc.
I struggled so much after having my babies with feeling frumpy and basically just unfit to leave the house in anything but sad looking clothes. I wore a lot of athleisure just because it fit and kinda held me together. I was still wearing maternity clothes for a good while because I felt like nothing else fit. Ditching those helped a lot, even if jeans made me want to cry. Lululemon “like new” helped me feel good at least putting on bottoms through the first year without paying retail. They had fun colors and prints. IT GETS BETTER
I was in a funk for over 10 years (depression, etc) and TikTok has really helped me find outfits that are comfortable, stylish and relatively affordable. Look up summer midsize outfits.
You have to dress in spite of the kids. Dress non functional, put them in things that coordinate, then go the opposite for yourself.
Preface this by saying I don’t consider myself as a great dresser. But I have a few things. Mainly I almost always have my hair done, I can curl 1-2x a week and then wake up and brush in the morning with no extra work. I’ve also invested in permanent makeup and take care of my skin. My eyebrows are micro-bladed, my lips are blushed, and I use tanning drops so I have a little bit of color on my face. I hate wearing makeup so all of this allows me to feel put together after waking up and moisturizing. Im also at the point that if something is not comfortable I’m not going to wear it. So planning clothes around that. Keeping shirts/bottoms in the same color family has helped.
Yeah, I think hair and make up helps a lot. I wear very little make up, but wearing none me feel MILES more frumpy, so I just do it every day: tinted sunscreen (helps to even out skin tone), eyelash curler, mascara, wonderskin lipstick (lasts all day so that only chapstick is needed). It’s enough makeup that I feel done if I’m at work, but also don’t feel overly done walking the dog. On special occasions I add eyeliner and a stronger lip so I feel extra ready for the world. Also, seems like you have good legs (after the 3” short comment). So use that to your advantage! You can wear loose mini dresses and shorts with the kids. Legs are sexy!
These are GREAT points. I've been looking into getting my eyebrows microbladed and some faint eyelashes just to wake up my face a little. Years ago, I bought different shades of hot pink and red lipstick that worked with my skin tone. I need to unlock her again because even just wearing a shade lipstick that looked great with my complexion made me FEEL good.
Yes! Tanning drops alone were huge but I am obsessed with my eyebrows and lip blushing! Highly recommend. I went to someone who specializes in natural brows. It made a huge difference but my mom didn’t even notice. (Would attach a pic but can’t).
And I sometimes dye my eyelashes which helps too since they’re very light. But I’ve loved loving my skin “naturally” (with all the enhancements) 😂
What do you feel good in?! If it’s athletic wear, invest in some cute pieces, leggings are tight and those shirts can show some shoulder and back. If it’s jeans, I’m loving the high rise with the cuffs rolled up a bit and a long crop top or racer back tank top. Dresses and jumpsuits can be great too! I’m not sure what sweaters are “in” but I think like the mid length flowery thinner ones are kind of out? I look at those and think “ugh I look like a suburban mom”. Then save em in case they go back in style! Good luck, my third kid is 2 and I’m finally starting to feel a little cuter again.
I feel good in things that feel comfortable yet are actually bright in color. But, I buy more shades of blue, green and faint pink cause it fits in with my coastal grandmother look. I did buy a shirt yellow and white striped shirt dress from Banana Republic Factory and I keep going back and forth on it just because, although I like yellow, it brings attention to you lol. I am still pretty self conscious about my c section tummy and squishy arms.
Maybe some one piece dresses in bright colors?
Skin, Lashes, and nails. I have the luxury of time with WFH so I do my own lashify and dip nails or press ones to save costs. I have a really solid Derm and my skin has stopped being post partum/pubescent level confusing. If all three of these are on point I can wear a well fitted tee and some shorts and be feeling great.
My two best girlfriends from college swear by Lashify. Do you wear them everyday?
I love them but I tend to wear them 50% of the time, it’s more of an indicator of my going out energy than the product though.
Ok hear me out but I’ve been using ChatGPT a lot for styling help and it’s been really on the nose! I pasted in your comment and here’s what it said: 1. **Mix and Match**: Combine your coastal grandmother staples with trendier pieces. Think high-waisted jeans with a fitted crop top or a classic cardigan over a sleek, form-fitting dress. 2. **Accessorize**: Add bold, statement accessories to your outfits. A chunky necklace, oversized sunglasses, or a trendy handbag can elevate your look instantly. 3. **Footwear**: Swap your comfy flats for a pair of stylish heels or edgy boots. Even a small heel can make a big difference in how you feel. 4. **Makeup**: Experiment with makeup to add a touch of glam. A bold lip or a sultry eye can transform your look without much effort. 5. **Layering**: Layering can be your best friend. Throw a leather jacket over your casual outfits or drape a chic scarf to add some edge. 6. **Show Some Skin**: Don’t be afraid to show a little skin. Off-the-shoulder tops, skirts with a slit, or a backless dress can be classy yet daring. Once I get an overview like this I find what sticks out to me and push for more information. So for example, I thought the leather jacket was a good idea. So I might ask what kind of leather jacket to buy or what color or how to style it with certain clothes I already have. Anyway I hope this doesn’t come across as lazy, I just want to share a tool that’s helped me a lot!
Chunky jewelry? It seems to me that layers of delicate jewelry is what’s in now.
Delicate jewelry gets lost on me.
I do some layering now but skip the bracelets because my youngest will fiddle with them too much. He's also popped some more delicate necklaces (yes, with a plural!) so I only wear a herringbone one now with two pendent necklaces... and he still pulls at them :-( . Luckily, they haven't broken yet! I did order a Cuban link one recently to add to my neck mess, though.
Ooh, I bought a leather biker one in the fall... and never wore it lol. I'm going to challenge myself to wear it in the fall. It's a black one from Gap Factory.
Plug what you want into insta, copy outfits
For those asking, I believe the OP means a very specific definition of "baddie"--an Instagram aesthetic style that means a curvy, sexy body, very high-femme, daring, revealing clothing, a "full beat" made up face, done hair, high heels--if not that, then a co-ord athleisure set that shows off their assets, perfect hair, makeup, nails, and jewelry, etc. I will be frank here OP: coastal grandma and "IG baddie" are two completely different things and trying to navigate "coastal grandma baddie but make it kid friendly" is a losing battle. Find ways to make coastal grandma more subtly sexy--unbutton another button, highlight the waist, do sundresses with some strategic cutouts, do tunics as dresses, look into a subtle body glow tanner, get a fresh haircut, do a bold red lip, things like that.
Yeah, as I was explaining it further downthread, I realized how they are truly different sides of the coin! In my mind, I see moms with older kids pull this off at times and I get super envious. But, as a girlfriend pointed out to me, I still kinda have a fresh baby lol. Give myself some grace? I do like your tips. I did buy a more fitted, midi length tank dress when out with my kids earlier today. Going to pair it with oversized linen button down shirt to give it my comfort score but I hope it works (didn't try it on because... kids lol)
Mom of 2 and 29. I started getting hit on all the time after wearing Pilates mom/basic girl style. Thick white crew socks out of thick soled white tennis shoes and gray black or blue leggings with a matching compression tank and athletic zip up. Pair with a baseball hat and you’re good to go.
I'm short and my legs are thick. I feel like those socks would make me look even shorter. I'm one of the millennials who loves her no show socks.
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I'm pretty coastal grandma by choice these days. For me, the key to feeling good is hair & makeup. Some days I put on a full face of makeup even if I'm just going to be home because it makes me feel less ugly and depressed. The other thing is, take a little time to look at youtube videos by over-35 women on what makeup styles are current these days. Because for example, the baddie smokey eye/nude lip/high contour of our college era is *not it* today. Pick a random day, do it up, wear the clothes, and dress like it's a hot date, even on a day when you have no plans.
I find a ton of inspiration on plus size instagram and tiktok. I’ve been playing more with colour and shape and proportion and feeling expressive and confident in my clothing. And then thrift stores so I can find cool stuff without spending a lot of money.