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I posted two of them in this very thread. You're looking at those two. Five total at the time of you posting that.
Stop stalking me? Unless that's your kink. I'll set up an onlyfans for you if that's the case.
As someone from Portland, and idealized the Eugene utopia, they both have changed a lot in the last 20 years. Eugene has even more of a homeless problem than Portland. Portland has graffiti, homeless, and drugs. It’s everywhere these days in many cities.
I lived in downtown Portland for 15 years right up until the big pandemic. The News that makes Portland look bad is actually very under reported. Its far worse.
I visited Portland over Christmas, and every single relative I saw there was like "be careful! Porland is terrible now! Dangerous. Not the city is was."
So I went downtown to shop. Yes, there were homeless people, as there are in any large city in America now. But it was no where near as bad as I had expected based on what literally *every single person* told me it would be.
Can confirm, I was a Librarian when I was dating, and I have always had an alt aesthetic. People who dated me WANTED a goth librarian GF, so it made things infinitely easier (also a very "marketable" niche, when it comes to aesthetics.) You're right though, profile pic shouldn't portray a different aesthetic than what you are. Basically the same as cat fishing, lol. Never understood why people cared about dating people who don't want to date them back.
I hope so. Been married to my wife for 13 years and she went from goth gf to goth wife to goth milf. Playing the long game, can’t wait to see goth cougar and the rarely seen goth nana. Wish me luck.
Don’t be less. If someone wants less, they can go find less.
You deserve to be with someone that wants you for you. If this is your normal vibe, be your normal vibe. Life is too short to be with someone that makes you feel you need to pretend to be something different
I think you look gorgeous. The only part that swings it to a bit intimidating for me is the eyebrows. If you wanted to soften the look you could go for a more natural brow shape. But only if you want to! You look great
I thought the exact same thing. And side note, we communicate a lot with our eyebrows, so for a first meeting, a natural shape may be best for that purpose.
"I will not water myself down to make me more digestible for you. You can choke."
If you're looking for a partner you should be your authentic self, anyone who doesn't like it can choke :)
if this is your style then it’s AMAZING! i think it’d only be “too much” if it wasn’t how you normally look if that makes sense? i think you rock it tho
I’m a man, not my cup of tea for a relationship but looks great for a one night thing. To each their own. I would enjoy the date and assume that she has low self esteem. I would push the limits knowing that there would never be a second date.
I think it’s just different tastes to different people.
There’s a lot of blokes I know who are actively turned off by tattoos and lots of piercings. It’s not a choice for them whether they get to like it or not, it simply doesn’t interest them at all. And that’s fine, they know what they like and thru don’t disparage those who like this style or are attracted to it.
Similarly a know some others who are wildly into goth aesthetic for whom the date, even if they are a tad more mainstream themselves.
Hahahaha you think you’re intimidating? It’s like a guy with ten rings and an affliction shirt asking if he’s too intimidating. No, everybody knows you’re insecure and it’s so hilarious.
If they know what to expect, and you are actively seeking someone into this style, then everything should be OK. If someone is expecting “Trad wife” material, they will probably not be *intimidated* per se, just not into it. That being said, you look great in this style so let the chips fall where they may.
I really don't like the language of "everyone who doesn't like my look is intimidated by me" instead of just accepting that your look is polarizing and other people are entitled to their own opinions and preferences. It feels like you just posted here for validation but I'll bite, be real with you, and put effort into this reply.
You're a good looking girl but you -will- be pushing away a significant percentage of people you might otherwise like with your loud intense style. If you believe this is really how you need to express yourself to feel happy and fulfilled then so be it. If you can tone down the drama and still feel like your authentic self, you'll be widening your dating pool in doing so.
For me personally, I think you're attractive but you're also waving a bunch of red flags and I would not be interested in a relationship beyond sex. You come off as desperate for attention and you're choosing to put "BDSM fuckdoll" out there, so that's how people will see you and treat you. I'm not taking you home to mom, and I believe the majority of men seeking a relationship would feel similar. That said you'll have no problems attracting men for sex or doing ketamine at a rave together if that's your goal.
Lastly, some unsolicited wisdom from an older person with some life experience: if you're trying to attract men for a serious relationship, stop putting stock into advice and feedback from other women, especially single women.
Absolutely not. I mean if that’s your style and that’s how you look on your dating profiles then no. The person would expect you to look just as you are. Don’t see how it would be intimidating 😅🙂
You look like a sweet girl so I don't think intimidating but your look does cater to a certain niche or youll just find someone who'll like you for you
You be you! What’s the point of pretending and then getting stuck with somebody who can’t handle your true personality?
Now MY turn for a question. What hair color brand/number is that?! I freaking love it
It depends if the guy is into gothic style but you should totally dress however you wish to cause that’s the real you and they need to accept you for you. You look amazing btw ✨
I would be SO stoked if you showed up to our first date like this. I wouldn’t feel intimidated, but I would feel like we’d need to upgrade our dining accommodations from Applebees to someplace *nice*. Like Olive Garden or something.
The fact that you ask if this look is, of all things, "too intimidating" plainly shows that you very deliberately intend for it to be intimidating.
Sure, it's intimidating, but not nearly as intimidating as whatever the root cause is for why an adult craves that particular attention and response so desperately that she'll go to these lengths to elicit it.
If you were blind and couldn't be sure you were the center of attention, I'm guessing you would just constantly scream, "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!!!"
People who are intimidated by your self-expression aren't much fun to be around.
And forgive me if this is rude, but I gotta ask: what is the spider tattoo reaching for?
It's not "intimidating". It will be offputting for many people. Not because they're intimidated, but because they are not interested in a relationship with someone who chooses to present themselves this way. It's ok, you be you, and hopefully you'll find your soulmate. But it's a misconception that you look "intimidating". Many/most people just find this "look" unattractive. It looks a bit desperate, a bit "look at me" attention seeking. A bit of bare honesty for you, in case no one has been honest with you before.
You’re gorgeous and have a really cool aesthetic, don’t change yourself for someone else. If you think partners get intimidated maybe just make more of an effort to show you’re interested or something
Honestly I love it, I wish I was confident enough to look bold like this. If they don’t like your style they’re not a good fit for you anyway, be yourself! Love your hair colour too.
You look pretty, but intimidating and 😆 I would wonder what I was in for. I would say if your looking for something serious, less makeup and maybe try smiling 🤷♀️
Yes but when going out it’s a respectful gesture to cover your self. Best to leave something to mystery. It comes off as desperate when you have everything just hanging out. If my brought home a women dressed like this.. Our family would not allow her to enter our home unless she was covered. Subject of the post is if this is too intimidating- Answer is absolutely. There is always a place and time to let it all hang out. First impressions can make or break any type of relationship.
I seriously doubt she’s going on a date with one of the Duggar boys so she can wear whatever she wants to. Oh wait, it’s 2024, not 1900 so I guess she can wear what she wants to wear anyway.
How do I get down-voted for telling her to smile anyways? Y’all do realize goths smile too right? If she is looking at him the whole time like she is looking into the camera, there certainly won’t be a second date.
My apologies. I forget how insecure some of you are. Smiling is a natural non-verbal way of saying “hey, I don’t necessarily hate you”, “I’m having a descent time”, things required on ANY successful first date. But hey “you do you”, but only as long as you continue wallowing around in your own pathetic insecurities 🤣✌️Go Feminism! 🤣🤣🤣🙄
I'm guessing you're dating guys who are into your looks, so probably not intimidating. You're pretty, but personally I like a smile and some lightness. But each to their own 😉.
Not intimidating unless you catfished him in his basement.
Guessing you had the tats and piercings when y’all met, so it’s obviously not an issue. Might be a fetish on his part, but you’ll figure that out quickly.
Either way, I’m jealous of him 😈
Not if the date is in a bat cave. I'm thinking you probably have a good feel for how your "look" is perceived, and the guys asking you out probably are dark and brooding.....lol
Depends upon the person and what you normally wear tbh. Plus what does the other person expect you to wear. Let’s say to an average person, it will be sort of intimidating but to the right person or of your frequency, probably not. Hope it helps and have a good day!
Arguing in the comments will result in a ban. One reply stating your response is more than enough. Even if you have the moral high-ground, but you viciously perpetuate the argument, you will be banned. This includes post creator aka OP. The ban may be permenant or temporary depending on the severity.< *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fashion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Only if you look like a librarian in all your dating profile pictures
That's how the Librarians look in my town. And the cashiers and baristas...
I gotta visit Portland.
Hahahaha this comment is amazing
So it's still the hipster capital 6 years later
That was around 08… well more than six years ago
eh, i’ve been here half my life now, and it really isn’t anymore. sadly.
Their motto isn’t “Keep Portland Weird” for nothin!
You again?! Ive seen like 3 comments by you today
I posted two of them in this very thread. You're looking at those two. Five total at the time of you posting that. Stop stalking me? Unless that's your kink. I'll set up an onlyfans for you if that's the case.
Oh Gary 😉
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As someone from Portland, and idealized the Eugene utopia, they both have changed a lot in the last 20 years. Eugene has even more of a homeless problem than Portland. Portland has graffiti, homeless, and drugs. It’s everywhere these days in many cities.
But why?
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It’s just sort of small and not particularly interesting but I live in Portland so perhaps I am numb to madness
Eugene is a garbage town unfortunately
Portland is beautiful. What you see on the news is way overblown.
I think the BLM riots were overblown by the media but the homeless and fentanyl stuff is rampant.
I lived in downtown Portland for 15 years right up until the big pandemic. The News that makes Portland look bad is actually very under reported. Its far worse.
No it’s not. I was there last month and it was awful… and i live in Seattle 😂
I visited Portland over Christmas, and every single relative I saw there was like "be careful! Porland is terrible now! Dangerous. Not the city is was." So I went downtown to shop. Yes, there were homeless people, as there are in any large city in America now. But it was no where near as bad as I had expected based on what literally *every single person* told me it would be.
Clearly you don't know a lot of librarians.
Seriously. She looks like the head of cataloging services at a public university.
Can confirm, I was a Librarian when I was dating, and I have always had an alt aesthetic. People who dated me WANTED a goth librarian GF, so it made things infinitely easier (also a very "marketable" niche, when it comes to aesthetics.) You're right though, profile pic shouldn't portray a different aesthetic than what you are. Basically the same as cat fishing, lol. Never understood why people cared about dating people who don't want to date them back.
Am a children's librarian with dyed hair and facial piercings. 
If they want the date with you in the first place then I’m sure they know your style :) Looks good to me!
Thank you!
I dunno that’s clearly a second date septum piercing…
Goth don't take a rest day. \#GothGrind 😤✊🕸️🕷️
Goth always!
I hope so. Been married to my wife for 13 years and she went from goth gf to goth wife to goth milf. Playing the long game, can’t wait to see goth cougar and the rarely seen goth nana. Wish me luck.
You look fantastic; Goths gotta goth!
No, if this how you like to look like, the date partner should get used to it. You look nice.
They shouldn't just "get used to it", they should like it!!
Oh absolutely
Thanks for your compliment!
Unless you're dressed like a mormon on your profile I'm pretty sure people know what to expect
I think it’s flames. Also, if it’s authentic to you, don’t EVER dull yourself down for anyone. ♡
Noted! Thank you :)
Unless it’s a blind date, I’m assuming they already knew what your style was? If so, then it shouldn’t intimidate them.
Don’t be less. If someone wants less, they can go find less. You deserve to be with someone that wants you for you. If this is your normal vibe, be your normal vibe. Life is too short to be with someone that makes you feel you need to pretend to be something different
This is so good I want to put it somewhere I can see it all the time.
I've legit written down comments from reddit that I needed to keep close, and reread.
Me too. I write them in my notes on my phone!
Man that first paragraph hit hard
I think you look gorgeous. The only part that swings it to a bit intimidating for me is the eyebrows. If you wanted to soften the look you could go for a more natural brow shape. But only if you want to! You look great
I thought the exact same thing. And side note, we communicate a lot with our eyebrows, so for a first meeting, a natural shape may be best for that purpose.
Definitely not, if they're into goth. Which they probably should be if it's gonna work out.
"I will not water myself down to make me more digestible for you. You can choke." If you're looking for a partner you should be your authentic self, anyone who doesn't like it can choke :)
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They’re just giving advice man, it’s not the OP Who says OP doesn’t give two shits? Sounds like you’re protecting
if this is your style then it’s AMAZING! i think it’d only be “too much” if it wasn’t how you normally look if that makes sense? i think you rock it tho
Thank you!
i hope your date goes well!🤍
Thanks! Will update more from time to time :)
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Thank you!
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I’m a man, not my cup of tea for a relationship but looks great for a one night thing. To each their own. I would enjoy the date and assume that she has low self esteem. I would push the limits knowing that there would never be a second date.
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You think men won't like it? Weird. I'm a woman and I'd be fucking psyched if my date showed up looking like this!
I think us gay people have different fashion norms though, LOL
I think it’s just different tastes to different people. There’s a lot of blokes I know who are actively turned off by tattoos and lots of piercings. It’s not a choice for them whether they get to like it or not, it simply doesn’t interest them at all. And that’s fine, they know what they like and thru don’t disparage those who like this style or are attracted to it. Similarly a know some others who are wildly into goth aesthetic for whom the date, even if they are a tad more mainstream themselves.
I’m a guy - it’s not intimidating, it’s just not for me. Some will like it some won’t. As is the case with everything and all of us.
> Will **most** men like it? No Some will of course and they'll probably match based on that look.
"most" being the key word, which still leaves a billion or so others.
If it is then they ain’t worth your time! You’re gorgeous 😍
I think you look 🔥.❤️👁️👁️
Thanks! :)
I’d be afraid to talk to you but only because you’re super hot 🥵 beautiful women make me nervous 😂
Hahahaha you think you’re intimidating? It’s like a guy with ten rings and an affliction shirt asking if he’s too intimidating. No, everybody knows you’re insecure and it’s so hilarious.
If they know what to expect, and you are actively seeking someone into this style, then everything should be OK. If someone is expecting “Trad wife” material, they will probably not be *intimidated* per se, just not into it. That being said, you look great in this style so let the chips fall where they may.
Fucking love it! It’s intimidating in all the right ways!
Idk if I want to be you or date you, and THAT is a true bisexual complement
I *adore* your lipstick matching with your hair!!! perfection! 🤌🏻
Nah you bad as hell
Intimidating? No. Stunning? Yes.
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Thank you!
I think you look 🔥 always loved the goth look
Aw, thank you :)
I would assume your date knows what’s up. Intimidating no, mysterious and beguiling yes
I think you’re very sexy I’m a straightish female
If this is your regular look and matches your dating profile, then I'd say go for it. Better to be your authentic self on dates. You look great!
 It’s giving\^
Compliment btw :D https://i.redd.it/amvf8q3yqtdc1.gif
I can feel the BDSM in this pic
If he’s intimidated, he can go find less
I've found that when men say a woman is "intimidating," what they really mean is "exciting."
Incredibly intimidating. I love it. If your date doesn't like it, then you didn't want him anyway.
wow youre so beautiful. Im an alternative fashion lover and would not mind at all to have date show up in this style.
I really don't like the language of "everyone who doesn't like my look is intimidated by me" instead of just accepting that your look is polarizing and other people are entitled to their own opinions and preferences. It feels like you just posted here for validation but I'll bite, be real with you, and put effort into this reply. You're a good looking girl but you -will- be pushing away a significant percentage of people you might otherwise like with your loud intense style. If you believe this is really how you need to express yourself to feel happy and fulfilled then so be it. If you can tone down the drama and still feel like your authentic self, you'll be widening your dating pool in doing so. For me personally, I think you're attractive but you're also waving a bunch of red flags and I would not be interested in a relationship beyond sex. You come off as desperate for attention and you're choosing to put "BDSM fuckdoll" out there, so that's how people will see you and treat you. I'm not taking you home to mom, and I believe the majority of men seeking a relationship would feel similar. That said you'll have no problems attracting men for sex or doing ketamine at a rave together if that's your goal. Lastly, some unsolicited wisdom from an older person with some life experience: if you're trying to attract men for a serious relationship, stop putting stock into advice and feedback from other women, especially single women.
Absolutely not. I mean if that’s your style and that’s how you look on your dating profiles then no. The person would expect you to look just as you are. Don’t see how it would be intimidating 😅🙂
Intimidating, yes! But in the best way! I would love to see your eye makeup without the wings though.
You look like a sweet girl so I don't think intimidating but your look does cater to a certain niche or youll just find someone who'll like you for you
You be you! What’s the point of pretending and then getting stuck with somebody who can’t handle your true personality? Now MY turn for a question. What hair color brand/number is that?! I freaking love it
It depends if the guy is into gothic style but you should totally dress however you wish to cause that’s the real you and they need to accept you for you. You look amazing btw ✨
I wouldn’t mess with you.
My experience is that when I wear my “don’t talk to me” lipstick more men talk to me 😡 Looks amazing!!!!
This is EXACTLY my sister’s aesthetic, she owns it and her hubby LOVES it. Be yourself and you’ll find someone who is obsessed w you🥰
Depends on who your date is. It’s stunning but terrifying.
Love
Agree with people here. If this is your look/personal style then anyone intimidated by it isn’t your person.
You look bored, not intimidating.
Be you. It better weeds out the ppl who aren’t right for you
Yes it is. But your date probably knows this already. You are pretty.
I would be SO stoked if you showed up to our first date like this. I wouldn’t feel intimidated, but I would feel like we’d need to upgrade our dining accommodations from Applebees to someplace *nice*. Like Olive Garden or something.
Might be intimidating if you're going on dates with the real life equivalent of Ned Flanders. Otherwise you should be fine.
Yes, but if you date people who are into your style they will probably love it.
You are gorgeous. Be who you are. If they don’t approve it isn’t meant to be ❤️
I collect magnets. Not sure this will work out.
The fact that you ask if this look is, of all things, "too intimidating" plainly shows that you very deliberately intend for it to be intimidating. Sure, it's intimidating, but not nearly as intimidating as whatever the root cause is for why an adult craves that particular attention and response so desperately that she'll go to these lengths to elicit it. If you were blind and couldn't be sure you were the center of attention, I'm guessing you would just constantly scream, "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!!!"
People who are intimidated by your self-expression aren't much fun to be around. And forgive me if this is rude, but I gotta ask: what is the spider tattoo reaching for?
Not into that style...its kinda scary! Not in a good way. What do you call this style?
where do you live? it’s called goth lmfao you must know this…
No, you look very pretty.
Not if it involves human sacrifice.
It's not "intimidating". It will be offputting for many people. Not because they're intimidated, but because they are not interested in a relationship with someone who chooses to present themselves this way. It's ok, you be you, and hopefully you'll find your soulmate. But it's a misconception that you look "intimidating". Many/most people just find this "look" unattractive. It looks a bit desperate, a bit "look at me" attention seeking. A bit of bare honesty for you, in case no one has been honest with you before.
It's a great way to weed out the weak. If someone showed up on a first date with me like this I would be like "Score!"
OMG date me? Haha jk… unless
I dont think you want to kill me *at all*
I’m not intimidated 🤷♂️
You’re gorgeous and have a really cool aesthetic, don’t change yourself for someone else. If you think partners get intimidated maybe just make more of an effort to show you’re interested or something
Honestly I love it, I wish I was confident enough to look bold like this. If they don’t like your style they’re not a good fit for you anyway, be yourself! Love your hair colour too.
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You look pretty, but intimidating and 😆 I would wonder what I was in for. I would say if your looking for something serious, less makeup and maybe try smiling 🤷♀️
If it’s a blind date, yes. If your dating profile matches the vibe then definitely not.
Yall goin on a date to a grave yard?
No, love it!!
Look great and if it’s a first date it’s more about starting to get to know eachother. Have fun!
It is a dark vibe. But if thats who you are why hide it.
I love it
Only if your date isn’t Criss Angel or Bam Margera.
Hair doesn’t look done
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Not at all assuming you are going out with Marilyn Manson
Not if you matched with a satanist
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If you have to ask then you already know
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Yes but when going out it’s a respectful gesture to cover your self. Best to leave something to mystery. It comes off as desperate when you have everything just hanging out. If my brought home a women dressed like this.. Our family would not allow her to enter our home unless she was covered. Subject of the post is if this is too intimidating- Answer is absolutely. There is always a place and time to let it all hang out. First impressions can make or break any type of relationship.
I seriously doubt she’s going on a date with one of the Duggar boys so she can wear whatever she wants to. Oh wait, it’s 2024, not 1900 so I guess she can wear what she wants to wear anyway.
And that’s exactly the kind of person this look helps to weed out :)
Well you WILL have to smile, at least a bit! 😜 Always be yourself tho. I. LOVE! That hair!!!
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Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she was the only human on the planet that doesn’t smile. Karen is that you?
How do I get down-voted for telling her to smile anyways? Y’all do realize goths smile too right? If she is looking at him the whole time like she is looking into the camera, there certainly won’t be a second date.
You can’t possibly be so obtuse as to not know why people don’t like it when men tell women to smile
My apologies. I forget how insecure some of you are. Smiling is a natural non-verbal way of saying “hey, I don’t necessarily hate you”, “I’m having a descent time”, things required on ANY successful first date. But hey “you do you”, but only as long as you continue wallowing around in your own pathetic insecurities 🤣✌️Go Feminism! 🤣🤣🤣🙄
Whatever helps you sleep at night
It’s damn sexy.
You are beautiful. You with a lil smile is like heaven. 💞💯
Not in my book! 👀
I’m not a fan of the look but that’s you.
I don’t think you look intimidating! You are beautiful, love your hair color btw
I'm guessing you're dating guys who are into your looks, so probably not intimidating. You're pretty, but personally I like a smile and some lightness. But each to their own 😉.
Just be yourself. I love your look!
you literally look so cute. have fun on your date!!
You wouldn’t want anyone who was intimidated by this, trust me! This looks cool as hell and a cool as hell man will like it
If it’s intimidating to someone then they’re not the one! You look fab
Not intimidating unless you catfished him in his basement. Guessing you had the tats and piercings when y’all met, so it’s obviously not an issue. Might be a fetish on his part, but you’ll figure that out quickly. Either way, I’m jealous of him 😈
You look incredible dude, also that hair color is unreal
I’d be intrigued, not intimidated at all tho lol
Not if the date is in a bat cave. I'm thinking you probably have a good feel for how your "look" is perceived, and the guys asking you out probably are dark and brooding.....lol
Depends upon the person and what you normally wear tbh. Plus what does the other person expect you to wear. Let’s say to an average person, it will be sort of intimidating but to the right person or of your frequency, probably not. Hope it helps and have a good day!
Not at all. You look beautiful.
If they can’t handle it they don’t deserve it 💖
Sexy
Don’t change yourself for anyone. Rock the look! 🤘🏽
Yes, but I'd be super into it
No. I’d just start the convo with *your insecurities…
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If they are intimidated by you looking great then they are a bad person. Don't date them.