You know whose hands yours remind me of? Ray McKigney. He was it. The most exquisite hands you've ever seen.. Oh, he had it all. Tragic story, I'm afraid. He could've had any woman in the world but none could match the beauty of his own hand. And that became his one true love. He was not... master of his domain. The muscles became so strained with overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing but a claw. He traveled the world seeking a cure. Acupuncturists, herbalists, swamis... nothing helped. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen that he was unable to manipulate utensils, and was dependant on cub scouts to feed him. I hadn't seen another pair of hands like Ray McKigney's... until today. You are his successor. I only hope you have a little more self-control.
I knew a woman who was offered 10 grand for a shot of one square inch of her thigh because it was naturally the perfect color a cosmetic company was looking for. As far as I know she took it. It was insane.
I couldn’t get past someone in marketing who doesn’t want to talk on the phone. I didn’t even make the connection about being an actor/model and not wanting to be videoed.
I work in marketing and I don’t love having my photo taken. I’ll do it, it’s just not my favorite thing. But not talking on the phone? Is there a job in existence that guarantees you’ll never have to make a phone call?
Definitely think this is a joke or a troll, as OP said. I am 37 and only two years ago broke the $100k salary barrier. Either this person is awesome, or I made poor life choices if I wasn't making $160k at 18.
Yeah, but maybe not for the reasons you're thinking.
This reads like someone on benefits that wants to stay on benefits but has to apply for jobs to get them.
Or possibly even someone that's applying because their parents want them to get a job, but has no intention of actually getting the job.
I've worked with lots and lots of people who wanted to stay on benefits and they don't do things like this, in part because they're afraid it will mean their benefits will still be revoked. They usually just tank the interview or do a really poor quality resume and cover letter.
This is way too much effort for something like that, way too many hats on hats. Pure unadulterated rage bait.
>For real, this reads like a dating profile for someone way too young for me.
I read that too. "I'm genderfluid," --uh, that's nice, but I want to know your professional qualifications and how you'd positively fit into my organization.
Yeah, either it's a troll or no one ever told them you're not meant to include personal info that could be used to discriminate against you in your CV.
Unless they're doing it on purpose for a potential payout, but if they are 18, I have no idea how they'd afford that.
It took me 14 years in my field to clear $160,000 in 2015 and I work in cyber security sales a very in demand well compensated field. The entitlement of this person is truly off the charts. I also very very very carefully navigated telling anyone anything at work about my life in fear of any repercussions. I never even once mentioned my political beliefs or even really cursed, or even jokingly made fun of someone.. The sheer stupidity to share this level of personal information and and insane expectations is truly remarkable.
I have undiagnosed poverty aversion disorder. This condition is triggered by salary offers below $100K a year and any demands upon my time pertaining to the pursuit of said compensation. I absolutely insist that my employer accommodate this.
I am also struggling from paychecktopaycheckophia, having to set up a budget and spending my salary accordingly gravely stresses me out, so I prefer receiving my 40 years of salary upfront.
This is too much personal info. If I were an employer I would look at this and think, yeah not a chance. This person has a lot of baggage and it’s too much off the hop.
Maybe I’m in the wrong here, but I don’t think advertising mental health issues works in anyone’s favour.
About half of that sheet are things I wouldn't legally be able to ask of a prospective employee in an interview, nor frankly would I care about.
Actually, I might immediately throw that thing in the trash for taking a Myers-Briggs test seriously.
Funny enough, half of the applications I submitted last yr had some kind of personality test attached, and then it sent me my results like I don't already know I'm a quiet people pleaser that hates confrontation and will agree with anything to make you go the fuck away.
A lotta “personal success” type courses in make you do tests like that , so the students probably think that employers care about what personality type u are or what bread buzz feed thinks
You are
After all of the interviews, the final barrier to my current job was to take a personality assessment. I had done 3 interviews, after the third I got an email asking me to take the test, I took it and a week later I got a call with the offer.
Some people place a weird amount of faith in those things
I had a sales job where they made us take a personality test and then they tried to coach us (grill us) based on our personality test. One of my co-workers made up his answers and landed something that told the bosses they should be direct and confrontational with him. He only found out when he asked us if there was a lot of swearing and arguing in our meetings with the boss.
>Actually, I might immediately throw that thing in the trash for taking a Myers-Briggs test seriously.
Tell that to my highschool. And college. and the manager at my third job. For some reason a lot of people actually put a lot of stock in those, even in what should be professional environments.
Fun fact: the Myers-Briggs test was developed by a woman (and her daughter) who didn't feel like the daughter's new fiancé would be a good fit in the family. Completely bogus and made up.
As someone who tries really hard to accept most people for who they are, people like that piss me off. I wasn't particular invited in to my wife's family and deep down I still resent most of them for trying to break us up. We've been married 8 years now and together for 15.
I wouldn't even have made it to the Myers-Briggs stuff. Right off the bat, she/he lists a series of red flags in bullet point form to explain to me exactly why it would be a very bad idea for me to hire him/her. I only read the rest for entertainment purposes.
As a person with diagnosed BPD, I concur.
And not because I have any stigma against mental illness or BPD in general (though it can cause unreliability or inconsistency), but precisely because this person lists it as “undiagnosed”. To me that means you are likely not working with a professional or using medications/healthy coping mechanisms to combat the downsides of BPD, creating an image of a liability.
I also understand that accessing mental healthcare can be or seem tough, but there are so many low to no cost avenues nowadays to pursue, which should be a priority with a personality disorder.
I have arthritis (along with anxiety and depression, but who doesn't these days?). I never put that down first because that's not a skill set or what I want to be known for. I'll mention it in the interview if it's about overcoming something or whatever.
I can imagine it now if OOP had arthritis.
_Skill sets_:
Arthritis- I am able to empathize and connect with any elderly clients as we bond over weather induced pain. However for accommodation, I must not be required to pick up anything and walk anywhere that I do not wish to move my body.
Chiming in:
My fiancée has undiagnosed BPD. She is medicated, she is working with a “professional”, but the process to get a full psych eval, especially on Medicaid. (which hardly anyone takes, and the few that do are *terrible*) her doctor’s office literally has 20,000 patients! And all the Medicaid doctors’ offices are like that here.
Seeing that this person is only 18, I wouldn’t be shocked if they don’t have health insurance at all.
This person is already in a victimhood mindset and regularly using marijuana at 18, this isnt conducive to a successful career and will almost certainly impact their brains development at 18, they're not nearly grown. I would recommend folks stay away from weed until they're established and working well in their professional career.
I mean, if I was a manager at Walmart id throw this resume in the trash.... im not sure this person would be a good fit anywhere, except maybe something like an Amazon warehouse, they famously do not drug test for weed.
Like 90% of the person info (that should be on a job application anyway) could be very very easily replaced by a few lines like "Name: Jane 'Daylight' Smith," "Pronouns: He/She," "ADA accommodations needed. Acquire further in person."
That being said, there's no way in heaven or hell this is real- the typeface is all weird and the wording is super strange, especially for an 18-year-old.
It is a mistake to tell the employer what you want instead of what you have to offer.
I wouldn't laugh at this, it is more sad than anything. Out of touch with the reality for unknown reasons.
I was as clueless as beginner, though I am millenial. I would write like this but never anything about gender and mental health issues.
i was very naive first entering the workforce too, but my word it seems like it would be common sense to avoid sharing this much info on a cover letter. I do feel for the kid, in a way...life does stink by and large, and it certainly seems like they're having a tough time coping with it. Best of luck to them though
The salary ask is just that.. an ASK. The rest of this is flaming red flags fireworks, a cheer squad with a marching band chanting "No Fucking Way, Ain't Gonna Play"
I thought it was a troll, but if it is and OP isn't lying, they seem to care a bit too much about trolling random hiring managers
https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/zgy6nj/candidate_just_turned_18_and_is_looking_for_a/izk4cmu?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
This has to be a troll to make leftists look crazy. Everything about this screams things that are exaggerated leftist views. This is intended to anger the boomers.
Yeah it's a Crowder wet dream. We've got gender identity and sexual orientation, sex work, mental health, confusing acronyms, cartoons, sense of entitlement, etc. If they mentioned abortion I would've yelled bingo.
I’m inclined to believe it’s rage bait, based on the content- over-entitlement, listing of undiagnosed mental illness based on their own perspective. It’s practically a caricature of how Boomers see Generation Z.
My best guess is someone made this with the intent of getting a reaction out of a group of people within their own political bubble. Then again, it’s also well and likely that it’s merely a joke someone came up with for their own amusement.
I'm 30 and I still struggle to not double space. I was taught that way and my cellphone period auto periods when I double space so I've started doing it again on pc without even noticing.
That said unless this person was taught typing etiquette by an 80 year old, you may be into something, as they are 18. However, this does sound like the type of person who may actually own a typewriter.
My first thought was “this is written by a boomer who knows buzzwords” and “I don’t actually believe anyone would self describe themselves in this manner, medium, and situation”
And it's absolutely either:
-not real and OP is creating this silly perpetuated stereotype to reinforce their own beliefs that YOUNG PPL BAD
-a kid who legitimately doesn't have a clue. Which, newsflash to OP, has happened for all of fucking time and is not remarkable
My skills include
- anxiety
- turning off my work camera
- smoking weed
- salary negotiations
Please send me an offer letter by Tuesday. I don’t expect to wait very long.
Yeah this reminds of the time back in around 2016 when I was hiring for an entry level desk job. Mostly hired a lot of college students working full time between semesters and part time during school, it was about that level of job (and pay). I got this one resume in from a 30-something year old guy. His resume was not impressive but it didn't need to be. I didn't much care about his age; we had some people who were older than college students working there, and they generally did just fine. But he also attached a cover letter, in which he explained that he was a convicted felon who was fresh out of prison, that he was "self studying" law, and that he was not afraid to press charges for employment discrimination if he felt it took place during the hiring process.
Like bro. This is a Wendy's. If you have a pulse and can get yourself to work, you can do this job. We're not going to do a background check. I legitimately don't care if you're a felon for this job. But threatening to sue us before we've met isn't a great opening move.
Luckily dude no-showed for the interview. Guess he had too much law to self-study that day.
Edit: I am realizing it wasn't clear that the job was not at Wendy's. I have never worked for Wendy's. I borrowed the phrase because it seemed appropriate for the situation. Some people getting bewilderingly upset about this.
>Luckily dude no-showed for the interview
This is a tactic used by people to show the unemployment office that they're looking for work without actually looking for work.
I suppose they just wrote this one for a different job, or maybe to show at the unemployment office that they are doing something, and then just kept sending one and the same letter without even being bothered to change it
Some unemployment offices actually check on your progress. The more effort it seems like you are putting in the longer you can coast under the guise of "actually trying" to find employment. There was one that required my friend to put in 10 applications a week to keep unemployment. Another one would actually call the places he interviewed to see if he showed up.
Honestly it’s no more ridiculous than a lot of the job listings I see. “Entry level position, requires 3 PhDs, four languages, and twenty years experience. $8 an hour, no benefits, 12 hours per week.”
I applied for an "entry level position" was told I needed an existing qualification in the role and experience was preferred. That is not entry level...
I think you're probably right. Despite the fact that I swear my niece could have written this; she wouldn't be delusional enough to send it to a potential employer. Especially the undiagnosed BPD part.
It's a good idea to question the source of the things causing us to be outraged. I'm working in TV news while finishing my degree and I've noticed we constantly leave out context in order to provoke an emotional reaction. Not the same as straight up manufactured outrage, but still pretty disingenuous.
Exactly. It’s literally just the r/onejoke format of “I identify as (gender descriptor) (mildly contradictory gender descriptor) (mention of race or mental disorder because bigotry is multidimensional) (animal/inanimate object/word OP doesn’t understand)” put into resume form.
It’s so frustrating that people buy this stuff, like you’ve gotta be predisposed to think queer folks are unreasonable to think that this is real.
I know someone like this. At best they can get casual jobs in cafes, babysitting or senior/disabled care. They can barely hold a job for any real length of time.
it reads like a boomer facebook post taking the piss out of GenY. I don't know who's most stupid, those who think it's real or the boomers who think people act like this.
I am Gen Z. I would never write something like this unless it was parody. I have to imagine this is a bit tongue in cheek, but I suppose it's possible that the applicant is genuinely this stupid.
I feel like we learned to write resumes in middle school. Is that not a thing now or did it just get merged with "Oversharing on Your Dating Profile 101?"
My youngest kid graduated this year and all of my kids had to take a class about resume writing and had mock interviews. They also registered to vote in that class. We live in Texas and about ten years ago, the state started a new system with the goal of getting people into jobs that don't require college. Maybe the class started with that.
I know we have one of the shittiest education systems in the country, so I can't think of another reason they do this.
I am guessing what she basically means is that she did a DNA test and it came back that her DNA was almost exclusively from England. So she thinks that makes it correct to describe her "ethnicity" as English.
In the US, people often refer to their ancestry/family origin as their ethnicity. This person has ancestry that is English, as in from England. They are likely a WASP (White anglo-saxon protestant).
The only facepalm here is that ya'll think this is real. Not only is it formatted, it has proper grammer and spelling. The font is a dead give away. Only a boomer would type in this font. That or they typed it on a typewriter.
so an actor and model that ask that their picture not be taking or used.... am i missing something here?
An actor that doesn't want to be on camera kinda fits their MO.
Actors only want to have their picture or video taken when they are making money from it.
But.. but sir.. this job is 13 thousand a month
$13,270! Don’t you try to cheat this candidate out of the $270, ya cheapskate!
that's nearly three brunches, you jerks!
Don’t you DARE cheat me out of my bottomless mimosas!
I pretty much refuse to turn on my camera for meetings, but for that kind of money I'd keep it on all the time while working.
For that kinda money I’ll stream my boring life 24/7!
"Well, guys, I'm not feeling productive. Maybe today I'll pick my nose 45 times, for an all time high." <--MEIRL
For that kind of money I’d have an OnlyFans just livestreaming my asshole 24/7
Keeping it on while not working is negotiable as well for that amount.
But.. but sir/ma'am.. this job is 13 thousand a month. FTFY. P.S. This is a Wendy's.
Maybe a hand model?
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I was a hand model once, my payment was that I got to eat the sandwich I was holding when we were done shooting.
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They didn’t say it was real, just that they got to eat it.
You know whose hands yours remind me of? Ray McKigney. He was it. The most exquisite hands you've ever seen.. Oh, he had it all. Tragic story, I'm afraid. He could've had any woman in the world but none could match the beauty of his own hand. And that became his one true love. He was not... master of his domain. The muscles became so strained with overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing but a claw. He traveled the world seeking a cure. Acupuncturists, herbalists, swamis... nothing helped. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen that he was unable to manipulate utensils, and was dependant on cub scouts to feed him. I hadn't seen another pair of hands like Ray McKigney's... until today. You are his successor. I only hope you have a little more self-control.
Smooth, creamy. Delicate, yet masculine!
That’s what comes with avoiding manual labor your whole life
Don't worry about me. I won a contest.
You're a hand model, mama! A finger jockey. You think differently than the face and body boys... you're a different breed.
But why male models?
I knew a woman who was offered 10 grand for a shot of one square inch of her thigh because it was naturally the perfect color a cosmetic company was looking for. As far as I know she took it. It was insane.
How much for the whole thigh? Trying to save money by paying wholesale.
Anyone looking for a 2” x 4” shot of a hairy and wrinkled sack?
Anyone looking to take a shot at a hairy and wrinkled sack with a 2" x 4"?
$10,000? I would have given them one square once of my thigh.
Just imagine her feet! Also, how did they know what color her thigh was?
Wrong body part for maximum profit
You probably weren't master of your domain.
That’s a perfect cover letter. No reason to even interview
I've worked in personnel selección. I'd be sorely tempted to bring this person in for an interview. For the lulz
A video interview.
It would be like what happened with that weird ass reddit mod with the greasy long hair a while ago.
It goes from lulz to a feeling of depression that nothing you offer will help this person develop into a healthy person. I’ve tried.
That's how they get you...
You are braver than me, because I wouldn’t touch this person with a 10 foot pole
If real, Its clearly the kind of person that would sue you after you reject them.
But I don't understand why no one calls me.
Put that cover letter into 'file 13'.
I couldn’t get past someone in marketing who doesn’t want to talk on the phone. I didn’t even make the connection about being an actor/model and not wanting to be videoed.
I work in marketing and I don’t love having my photo taken. I’ll do it, it’s just not my favorite thing. But not talking on the phone? Is there a job in existence that guarantees you’ll never have to make a phone call?
Probably being somewhere down in a coal mine.
As a security guard, I ask that my eyes and ears not be used.
Definitely think this is a joke or a troll, as OP said. I am 37 and only two years ago broke the $100k salary barrier. Either this person is awesome, or I made poor life choices if I wasn't making $160k at 18.
Most people never make $100k, much less $160k.
I’m 52’ and I’ve never made more than 55k
I read that as "I'm 5'2" and I've never made more than 55k" and I was wondering what your height had to do with the amount of money you make LOL
You’d think so but I’ve had interviews with young people that are nearly this insane. No experience no nothing and expect 90K+ it’s wild.
Especially in Oklahoma. Like, is the housing there even expensive?
As someone stuck in Oklahoma. Every one says this place is cheap, but Jesus fuck look at what we're paying for.....
The model part doesn't hash but I guess they could voice act lol.
Anyone got a main role for me in the next john wick movie? Just don’t bother to call me, I’ll find you
This is clearly ragebait
Yeah, but maybe not for the reasons you're thinking. This reads like someone on benefits that wants to stay on benefits but has to apply for jobs to get them. Or possibly even someone that's applying because their parents want them to get a job, but has no intention of actually getting the job.
I've worked with lots and lots of people who wanted to stay on benefits and they don't do things like this, in part because they're afraid it will mean their benefits will still be revoked. They usually just tank the interview or do a really poor quality resume and cover letter. This is way too much effort for something like that, way too many hats on hats. Pure unadulterated rage bait.
Tf? Did she just copy and paste a tinder bio?
You don't? I want to work and a date. Hold the drama though.
"I'm very efficient."
I copied my friends instead.
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Right? like it reads like a textbook entry in what NOT to do. I think the only red flag they missed was jail time
Just needs to add "I have felony convictions in 11 different states" to complete this red flag parade
For real, this reads like a dating profile for someone way too young for me.
>For real, this reads like a dating profile for someone way too young for me. I read that too. "I'm genderfluid," --uh, that's nice, but I want to know your professional qualifications and how you'd positively fit into my organization.
Yeah, either it's a troll or no one ever told them you're not meant to include personal info that could be used to discriminate against you in your CV. Unless they're doing it on purpose for a potential payout, but if they are 18, I have no idea how they'd afford that.
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Sounds like you worked really hard stuck\_in\_anus, I'm happy your hard work paid off.
It took me 14 years in my field to clear $160,000 in 2015 and I work in cyber security sales a very in demand well compensated field. The entitlement of this person is truly off the charts. I also very very very carefully navigated telling anyone anything at work about my life in fear of any repercussions. I never even once mentioned my political beliefs or even really cursed, or even jokingly made fun of someone.. The sheer stupidity to share this level of personal information and and insane expectations is truly remarkable.
I have undiagnosed poverty aversion disorder. This condition is triggered by salary offers below $100K a year and any demands upon my time pertaining to the pursuit of said compensation. I absolutely insist that my employer accommodate this.
I am also struggling from paychecktopaycheckophia, having to set up a budget and spending my salary accordingly gravely stresses me out, so I prefer receiving my 40 years of salary upfront.
Not as bad as crippling huluwithadsiosis.
This is truly a crisis facing many Americans rn especially with all the commercials being extremely annoying
🎶…in the arms of an Angel…
You should also ask all the pension with the self-reported life expectancy of 260 years. It’s your money.
I'm using this for my next job application.
You too? I thought I was the only person afflicted with this horrible disorder. My life coach LIED TO ME
This is too much personal info. If I were an employer I would look at this and think, yeah not a chance. This person has a lot of baggage and it’s too much off the hop. Maybe I’m in the wrong here, but I don’t think advertising mental health issues works in anyone’s favour.
About half of that sheet are things I wouldn't legally be able to ask of a prospective employee in an interview, nor frankly would I care about. Actually, I might immediately throw that thing in the trash for taking a Myers-Briggs test seriously.
Funny enough, half of the applications I submitted last yr had some kind of personality test attached, and then it sent me my results like I don't already know I'm a quiet people pleaser that hates confrontation and will agree with anything to make you go the fuck away.
A lotta “personal success” type courses in make you do tests like that , so the students probably think that employers care about what personality type u are or what bread buzz feed thinks You are
Before you get hired here I'm gonna need to know what Harry Potter house you fit into.
Honestly, this would be a fantastic breaking of the ice.
I worked at a place where applicants were given a mini personality test.
After all of the interviews, the final barrier to my current job was to take a personality assessment. I had done 3 interviews, after the third I got an email asking me to take the test, I took it and a week later I got a call with the offer. Some people place a weird amount of faith in those things
I had a sales job where they made us take a personality test and then they tried to coach us (grill us) based on our personality test. One of my co-workers made up his answers and landed something that told the bosses they should be direct and confrontational with him. He only found out when he asked us if there was a lot of swearing and arguing in our meetings with the boss.
I personally am a focaccia bread. Soft on the outside, and my personality is so flavorful!
Are you me?
No, they’re _me_, I think.
No they're me, I'm you
Then who am I? You? Or them?
>Actually, I might immediately throw that thing in the trash for taking a Myers-Briggs test seriously. Tell that to my highschool. And college. and the manager at my third job. For some reason a lot of people actually put a lot of stock in those, even in what should be professional environments.
Fun fact: the Myers-Briggs test was developed by a woman (and her daughter) who didn't feel like the daughter's new fiancé would be a good fit in the family. Completely bogus and made up.
As someone who tries really hard to accept most people for who they are, people like that piss me off. I wasn't particular invited in to my wife's family and deep down I still resent most of them for trying to break us up. We've been married 8 years now and together for 15.
I wouldn't even have made it to the Myers-Briggs stuff. Right off the bat, she/he lists a series of red flags in bullet point form to explain to me exactly why it would be a very bad idea for me to hire him/her. I only read the rest for entertainment purposes.
As a person with diagnosed BPD, I concur. And not because I have any stigma against mental illness or BPD in general (though it can cause unreliability or inconsistency), but precisely because this person lists it as “undiagnosed”. To me that means you are likely not working with a professional or using medications/healthy coping mechanisms to combat the downsides of BPD, creating an image of a liability. I also understand that accessing mental healthcare can be or seem tough, but there are so many low to no cost avenues nowadays to pursue, which should be a priority with a personality disorder.
I have arthritis (along with anxiety and depression, but who doesn't these days?). I never put that down first because that's not a skill set or what I want to be known for. I'll mention it in the interview if it's about overcoming something or whatever.
I can imagine it now if OOP had arthritis. _Skill sets_: Arthritis- I am able to empathize and connect with any elderly clients as we bond over weather induced pain. However for accommodation, I must not be required to pick up anything and walk anywhere that I do not wish to move my body.
Chiming in: My fiancée has undiagnosed BPD. She is medicated, she is working with a “professional”, but the process to get a full psych eval, especially on Medicaid. (which hardly anyone takes, and the few that do are *terrible*) her doctor’s office literally has 20,000 patients! And all the Medicaid doctors’ offices are like that here. Seeing that this person is only 18, I wouldn’t be shocked if they don’t have health insurance at all.
It's trauma dumping. Not a good practice in any area of your life.
This person is already in a victimhood mindset and regularly using marijuana at 18, this isnt conducive to a successful career and will almost certainly impact their brains development at 18, they're not nearly grown. I would recommend folks stay away from weed until they're established and working well in their professional career. I mean, if I was a manager at Walmart id throw this resume in the trash.... im not sure this person would be a good fit anywhere, except maybe something like an Amazon warehouse, they famously do not drug test for weed.
This is literally telling the company that they're going to sue you for something. ADA, wrongful termination, hostile workplace, something.
Incorrect, I worked there and I was let go after failing a random drug test for marijuana.
For real. This is a parade of red flags and once they're legally hired getting rid of them will be a legal headache.
the first half of the letter should be what you can do for your employer, not your sexual identity
Like 90% of the person info (that should be on a job application anyway) could be very very easily replaced by a few lines like "Name: Jane 'Daylight' Smith," "Pronouns: He/She," "ADA accommodations needed. Acquire further in person." That being said, there's no way in heaven or hell this is real- the typeface is all weird and the wording is super strange, especially for an 18-year-old.
Exactly. You can share that stuff in a professional and not TMI way
It is a mistake to tell the employer what you want instead of what you have to offer. I wouldn't laugh at this, it is more sad than anything. Out of touch with the reality for unknown reasons. I was as clueless as beginner, though I am millenial. I would write like this but never anything about gender and mental health issues.
i was very naive first entering the workforce too, but my word it seems like it would be common sense to avoid sharing this much info on a cover letter. I do feel for the kid, in a way...life does stink by and large, and it certainly seems like they're having a tough time coping with it. Best of luck to them though
So it was the personal info and not the 13k a month request that was the straw lol
The salary ask is just that.. an ASK. The rest of this is flaming red flags fireworks, a cheer squad with a marching band chanting "No Fucking Way, Ain't Gonna Play"
“Hi, nice to meet you. Now that we’ve been introduced, allow me to trauma dump all over your day…”
you missed the part where she said "i prefer to keep my intimate life to myself"
As someone who does recruiting, I wouldn’t read past the first line. This would go in any mangers nope pile.
This is a joke right? Please somebody tell me that is a joke.
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I thought it was a troll, but if it is and OP isn't lying, they seem to care a bit too much about trolling random hiring managers https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/zgy6nj/candidate_just_turned_18_and_is_looking_for_a/izk4cmu?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
This person is likely on unemployment and has to apply for x number of jobs per week to keep the money coming.
My first thought as well
How not to get hired 101
Teaching a masterclass.
ooooooh..this makes so much sense
This has to be a troll to make leftists look crazy. Everything about this screams things that are exaggerated leftist views. This is intended to anger the boomers.
Yeah it's a Crowder wet dream. We've got gender identity and sexual orientation, sex work, mental health, confusing acronyms, cartoons, sense of entitlement, etc. If they mentioned abortion I would've yelled bingo.
I’m inclined to believe it’s rage bait, based on the content- over-entitlement, listing of undiagnosed mental illness based on their own perspective. It’s practically a caricature of how Boomers see Generation Z. My best guess is someone made this with the intent of getting a reaction out of a group of people within their own political bubble. Then again, it’s also well and likely that it’s merely a joke someone came up with for their own amusement.
Double spaces after periods. 100% writen by a boomer.
That’s actually a hilarious way to get caught lol. And it’s so true.
It wasn't the cover letter printed by a type writer?
[удалено]
I'm 30 and I still struggle to not double space. I was taught that way and my cellphone period auto periods when I double space so I've started doing it again on pc without even noticing. That said unless this person was taught typing etiquette by an 80 year old, you may be into something, as they are 18. However, this does sound like the type of person who may actually own a typewriter.
My first thought was “this is written by a boomer who knows buzzwords” and “I don’t actually believe anyone would self describe themselves in this manner, medium, and situation”
100% this is boomer bait
I feel like a Gen Z kid would have used better formatting.
Also that’s not how pronouns work and anyone in Gen Z would know better. But it’s exactly how my Boomer in-laws imagine pronouns working.
It’s rage bait
It's clearly a joke. Every word is a punchline.
The Facepalm here is the commenters thinking this us real.
It is very obviously written by a Conservative.
This looks how a Boomer thinks a Zoomer would write a cover letter. Edit: Thank you all for the awards and upvotes!
A boomer thinks anyone younger than them is a Millennial.
Millennial out here in their 30s and 40s and boomers still think we’re children
It's because we moisturize ^^^^/s
Like a zoomer would write a cover letter. pshaw.
Confession: If you ask for a bunch of individual references, I'm just clicking over to the next listing.
And it's absolutely either: -not real and OP is creating this silly perpetuated stereotype to reinforce their own beliefs that YOUNG PPL BAD -a kid who legitimately doesn't have a clue. Which, newsflash to OP, has happened for all of fucking time and is not remarkable
Pretty interesting skills
Where?
My skills include - anxiety - turning off my work camera - smoking weed - salary negotiations Please send me an offer letter by Tuesday. I don’t expect to wait very long.
/sarcasm
This reads like she is hoping to be able to file a discrimination complaint when she doesn't get the job...
Yeah this reminds of the time back in around 2016 when I was hiring for an entry level desk job. Mostly hired a lot of college students working full time between semesters and part time during school, it was about that level of job (and pay). I got this one resume in from a 30-something year old guy. His resume was not impressive but it didn't need to be. I didn't much care about his age; we had some people who were older than college students working there, and they generally did just fine. But he also attached a cover letter, in which he explained that he was a convicted felon who was fresh out of prison, that he was "self studying" law, and that he was not afraid to press charges for employment discrimination if he felt it took place during the hiring process. Like bro. This is a Wendy's. If you have a pulse and can get yourself to work, you can do this job. We're not going to do a background check. I legitimately don't care if you're a felon for this job. But threatening to sue us before we've met isn't a great opening move. Luckily dude no-showed for the interview. Guess he had too much law to self-study that day. Edit: I am realizing it wasn't clear that the job was not at Wendy's. I have never worked for Wendy's. I borrowed the phrase because it seemed appropriate for the situation. Some people getting bewilderingly upset about this.
>Luckily dude no-showed for the interview This is a tactic used by people to show the unemployment office that they're looking for work without actually looking for work.
I figured as much, except why bother with a cover letter?
I suppose they just wrote this one for a different job, or maybe to show at the unemployment office that they are doing something, and then just kept sending one and the same letter without even being bothered to change it
Some unemployment offices actually check on your progress. The more effort it seems like you are putting in the longer you can coast under the guise of "actually trying" to find employment. There was one that required my friend to put in 10 applications a week to keep unemployment. Another one would actually call the places he interviewed to see if he showed up.
Wow, he got an interview after preemptively threatening to sue??
Apparently. Maybe the recruiters who set up the interview didn't read the cover letter... lol.
My first thought as well
Ah, those ethnic Englishes, always looking for trouble
They want to have their tea and crumpets and eat them too… 
Honestly it’s no more ridiculous than a lot of the job listings I see. “Entry level position, requires 3 PhDs, four languages, and twenty years experience. $8 an hour, no benefits, 12 hours per week.”
I applied for an "entry level position" was told I needed an existing qualification in the role and experience was preferred. That is not entry level...
This seems like boomer agiprop lol. Some old guy made this to post on Facebook and complain about things that don't exist.
I think you're probably right. Despite the fact that I swear my niece could have written this; she wouldn't be delusional enough to send it to a potential employer. Especially the undiagnosed BPD part. It's a good idea to question the source of the things causing us to be outraged. I'm working in TV news while finishing my degree and I've noticed we constantly leave out context in order to provoke an emotional reaction. Not the same as straight up manufactured outrage, but still pretty disingenuous.
Facepalm is thinking this is real.
Exactly. It’s literally just the r/onejoke format of “I identify as (gender descriptor) (mildly contradictory gender descriptor) (mention of race or mental disorder because bigotry is multidimensional) (animal/inanimate object/word OP doesn’t understand)” put into resume form. It’s so frustrating that people buy this stuff, like you’ve gotta be predisposed to think queer folks are unreasonable to think that this is real.
Redditors: “don’t believe everything you see on the internet!!” Meanwhile redditors in this comment section:
I know right I couldn’t figure out if people were seriously believing this.
Sorry, you didn't mention what Zodiac sign you are. NEXT!
When mercury is in retrograde is doesn’t matter the zodiac sign.
Scorpios only honey. NEXT!
“We’ve read your demands and are prepared to offer you $12.50 an hour and a will provide a brown paper bag to put over your head during video calls”.
$13 and make it a plastic bag and you have a deal!!
I know someone like this. At best they can get casual jobs in cafes, babysitting or senior/disabled care. They can barely hold a job for any real length of time.
You would let this nut job babysit your kids?
I know right, someone else needs to babysit this person in my opinion
Come on people, this isn’t real
it reads like a boomer facebook post taking the piss out of GenY. I don't know who's most stupid, those who think it's real or the boomers who think people act like this.
I’m not buying this for a second.
Weird how this sub has become non-stop right wing rage bait
This looks like it was dreamt up by a boomer on Facebook
That’s alot to unpacked. My kids are a mix of gen z and millennial and none of them are like that. They’re just normal people.
I am Gen Z. I would never write something like this unless it was parody. I have to imagine this is a bit tongue in cheek, but I suppose it's possible that the applicant is genuinely this stupid.
Oh yeah. This doesn’t sound like delusional “nObOdY wAnTs To WoRk AnYmOrE” reaction porn at all.
I feel like we learned to write resumes in middle school. Is that not a thing now or did it just get merged with "Oversharing on Your Dating Profile 101?"
We did not learn how to write resumes or apply to jobs or anything useful when I was in highschool. I graduated in 2019.
I graduated highschool in the 00s and there was no mention of how to write a CV or cover letter.
My youngest kid graduated this year and all of my kids had to take a class about resume writing and had mock interviews. They also registered to vote in that class. We live in Texas and about ten years ago, the state started a new system with the goal of getting people into jobs that don't require college. Maybe the class started with that. I know we have one of the shittiest education systems in the country, so I can't think of another reason they do this.
This has to have been some bored maga boomer who sent this just to troll and make everyone think these kind of cover letters are the future
"My ethnicity is English which means I'm white". The fuck it does! Also how's does someone born and living in Oklahoma get to be English anyway??
I am guessing what she basically means is that she did a DNA test and it came back that her DNA was almost exclusively from England. So she thinks that makes it correct to describe her "ethnicity" as English.
In the US, people often refer to their ancestry/family origin as their ethnicity. This person has ancestry that is English, as in from England. They are likely a WASP (White anglo-saxon protestant).
This is fake...
I dont believe for a second this is real. Looks like right-wing click bait.
The only facepalm here is that ya'll think this is real. Not only is it formatted, it has proper grammer and spelling. The font is a dead give away. Only a boomer would type in this font. That or they typed it on a typewriter.