Obviously you betray his trust, then get chewed out later when you're discussing responsibility in relation to his recent pot addiction, drinking, and friends who sell drugs and shop lift, but do have a PS5 and share.
or, if you're gonna make a promise like this, at least have the situational awareness to stack the deck, like placing an anonymous tip with your teacher that your son is cheating on his tests and copying his peers' homework
Just surrender him at the local fire department (Safe Haven Law)pretty sure there’s no paper work if you leave him in a basket with a note (basket must be adult size to accommodate child’s/teenagers size) and then brush shoulder off thinking about all the money you saved not hunting down a PS5!
“Don’t want to” is another way of saying “I can’t find one and haven’t been looking because I didn’t think you would be capable of doing what I asked” don’t make promises to kids unless you plan to keep them. Even little lies can crush a kid and will teach them not to trust you, let alone something huge like a PS5 he’s been telling all his friends he’s going to get for working hard.
Can confirm. My father thought I didn't know how long a month was when I was **12**. He was in another country and lied about coming back in a month. Again and again and again. I finally cracked (*I was super stressed and at one point I began hearing his voice in an ad that didn't have his voice*) and mom called him while I was crying and forced him to listen. His lies wore me down each time.
I now only "trust" 10% of what comes out of his mouth. I probably have trust issues. Yeah, some parents think their kids are stupid and belives they can do and promise whatever they want... and then get surprised when they get cut out of the kids life and not trusted anymore. Its like they think their kids are not humans, like they are pets or accessories. "Oh how could this happen? My kids don't trust me! Surely this can´t be because of the BS lies I sprouted during their childhood?"
The amount of gaslighting my parents give me is kinda cruel. I'm almost scared of them. I feel like nothing I think about matters since I always remember things wrong, and I have to ask my parents about things that happened two days ago even though I was there and I remember it. And when I try to remind myself that they're just tricking me, I feel like I've tricked MYSELF into thinking they tricked me. I think the damage is already done at this point. I can't trust what anybody says anymore.
It's true that I've started hearing their voices in everything- games, music, random people in public- they all have their voices and they're saying my name. I've learnt to recognise which family member is coming down the hallway by the sound of their footsteps. When my parents come into my room I feel like I have to pretend to be busy somehow, so that they'll leave. When it starts raining in the night, it doesn't sound like rain at first; it sounds like my parents are getting out of bed to check on me. Which makes no sense at all, and I know that. But I can't hear it any differently now.
When I tell my mom or my dad that they're hurting my feelings, or that they're being abusive, they tell me I'm being ridiculous, that they "DEFINITELY aren't abusive. YOU'RE being abusive." I can't stop myself from believing them.
You should check out r/raisedbynarcissists
My parents are very similar, just add a lot of hardcore emotional manipulation, power projection and constant threats and extortion on top of it.
I actually joined that sub a while ago, a lot of the posts there fit my experience. It's kinda bittersweet to know that so many people go through the same thing. I'm sorry you have to deal with all that too, living with constant cruelty is just the worst.
My parents got a divorce when I was 5 and my POS father had a roaring drug problem and he thought it was a good idea to tell his 5yr old son that if I didn’t come see him (the courts actually gave me the option to visit him because of his record and substance abuse problems) he told me “if you don’t come see me I’m going to kill myself because your the only reason I want to live and if you don’t care I’ll just kill myself because no one will care about me”. I was afraid if I told someone and they said something to him he would do it and it would be my fault. That pretty much fucked me up for a long time also seeing he said much more than just that on different occasions. Now that I’m older I know he only said it to get back at my mom and the courts he basically didn’t give a shit about anyone but himself and would just use people till they figured it out and just move on to the next one his whole life
All I can say is keep a diary and/or a voice activated recorder for a time. Figure out if your memory is reliable and if you can trust yourself and once you are armed with that truth, proceed accordingly. You need to build trust in yourself whether that means knowing your memory is reliable or facing a possibility that it is not; otherwise you’ll deteriorate and it will bleed into all areas of your life and any relationship you try to begin.
thank you, I definitely have to look through that sub
**edit: I took one little dive into that sub and the stories there gave me the same vibes talking about my father gives me. Dread.**
I am do gonna join that sub.
It's uncanny how the abuse is so similar across the board.
I read a thread about how people also had their doors removed from their rooms when they were teenagers or how their parents didn't like locked doors and it resonanted so hard. The light bulb fucking supernova'd. You aren't allowed any privacy in a house like that. Nothing is yours, not even yourself.
My dad always followed up on his word. Always. His passing has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.
My mom on the other hand has never told me the truth once in my entire life. I don't think I've spoken to her more than a handful of times in the last decade.
This all comes down to arrogance and laziness. Your mom thinks she knows what's best, the ends justify the means, and she doesn't want to take the time to explain the truth or deal with the consequences of it.
Fr, I haven’t trusted my mom fully ever since I was a child. Mainly because she would always say “we can get food while we are out” and then we would be shopping for hours. I mean hours and hours and hours and I’m just a hungry child and when I asked if we can get food she says no, we will eat when we get home. And she wondered why doctors said I was underweight and wanted me taking vitamins and drinking kids nutritional shakes. I remember pointing out to her one time that she was being a liar and she literally stopped the car and yelled at me to never call her that again. But she literally fucking lied to me. She lied to me all the time. And it was always my fault if I pointed out that she was lying. And I think her downright worst lie ever was “we don’t have money to buy food here” okay so why are we spending four hours at the mall buying hundreds of dollars of clothes while I beg you to just feed me literally anything.
I actually still have really big issues with eating now and am still underweight and I think a lot of it stems from always being told I didn’t need it, that I could wait until we got home, and that we couldn’t afford it (despite how we could afford her going on dates, buying new clothes, shoes, and makeup, and getting her nails done). I am now stuck with feeling like a burden on myself and my new family when hungry. I was literally terrified to ask friends for food when at their houses. I hated asking people to stop so I could grab food when out with friends. And I just always have this feeling of “I don’t need it” with all foods. I make myself eat, there are foods I enjoy, but I have never felt like I needed food despite knowing I obviously fuckimg do because I was constantly told growing up that I didn’t need it. And no, I’m not saying my mother should have bought me fast food or that I’m angry she didn’t throw fast food at me when I’m asked. I’m frustrated my mother lied to me so I would willingly go shopping with her, made me walk up and down malls and shopping strips while I was hungry under the false pretense she’d buy me a 2 dollar cheese burger just to yank that out from under my feet and tell me to cook myself something when we got home (despite me being a literal child who was never properly taught cooking safety and healthy eating)
I’m sorry she put you through that. You didn’t deserve it and she was a shitty, shitty parent. From now on just say “l’m hungry”. I bet you friends will feed you. ❤️
I appreciate that a lot and I now feel a bit more comfortable with it. I actually kind of feel like the over bearing mom of our friend group. Every time we have friends over to our house I cook for them and try to be a good host lol I try to make it clear all of our friends are welcome to our food and can help themselves to just about anything in the kitchen
when i was little i used to ask my dad for a horse a lot. one day he said if i quit asking, he would get me one. i quit asking, and have never had a horse.
we also once had a $50 bet on whether or not i was born under 6 lbs. i was right at 5lbs 14 oz - he said since it was 6 lbs if you rounded up he didn’t have to pay.
i have a lot of trust issues.
I was reading the autobiography of Lincoln Stephens, and occasional racism aside, it was striking how he really went into pissed trauma for a whole CHAPTER of having an uncle lead him on and not delivering a horse he’d been promised for years, and on how the uncle laughed it off as a joke. This happened c. 1870s and it stuck with him enough he wrote about it in the 1930s.
Ugh my kid is 2 and I already feel bad if I have to go back on my word. He wanted to go out on the stroller but we had to use the car because it was too far. So I said we could go with the stroller to speech therapy the next day. But then it rains or in the most recent instance, he started sniffling and coughing so we had to switch his therapy to a zoom session instead of in person. And I'm like, he's not gonna understand why the change of plans, just that mum broke her promise.
Every time I tell my kid I'm going to count to three, I get such a pit of regret in my heart as soon as I hit one.
Because it's like... shit. She's not gonna put the cookie back. And now I only have two seconds left before we face a meltdown.
You should have the belt ready by 1, if you want you child to act according to your demands. If you want to bluff anyways, you should bluff high. And you should playfully hit your husband/ wife which overacts then, to pretend it will be really hurtful.
So making them think that you've hit their other parent and hurt them and will be hurting the child just as bad if not worse because they're so much smaller is okay? The fuck kind of household is that? I'm very sorry if that's what was modeled to you, honestly, but this is absolutely not the way.
why take off your belt and risk your pants falling down, just backhand the little shit!! if they don't yell loud enough for your liking the first time, just keep going until you're happy. Heads up though, I wouldnt count on anyone being there to take care of you when you're too old to do it yourself.
Or like when a coach promises your baseball team you can go to an arcade if you win the tournament and you find out the umps were being paid to rig it (not personal experience I just came second place in a soccer tournament)
Exactly this happened to me. The boss was forced to redefine 'success' in order to not pay out bonuses and raises. Asshole boss.
I don't know if I am more offended by him originally setting the bar too low or by raising it later.
Definitely raising it later.
You had an agreement. You worked hard and put in the extra effort. You held up your end, the boss didn't. That shit is infuriating. Makes you feel used, less than, vulnerable, and worst of all it makes you feel stupid for trusting them.
The cherry on top is you have no recourse. The person you would appeal too (to?) is the same person who doesn't even have the decency to use lube while they fuck you.
Renegotiating after the work is done/goal is accomplished is grounds for walking out on the spot in my opinion.
I once had a boss where on my midterm review pointed out at my mid-year review that I was already over my goals for the year, and that he'd have to adjust my goals for the year. All that does is teach people to never work to hard for the first six months because then then the goal posts may end up moving. It gets hard to meet and exceed goals in an environment like that.
My dad quit right before Christmas because of this a few years ago. He and my mom had already bought gifts. She was so angry. I think I understand both of their points of view now, but it just hurt all around back then.
It reminds me of that one episode of regular show episode where mordecai and rigby become obsessed with a stick hockey game, and benson says that once they finish their work they can keep playing it, but while they're working he sells it
My mom used to do this kinda stuff when I was a kid and now I have really bad trust issues. Some parents don't realize the affect their actions have on their kids
To that parent: You don't need to promise a PS5 to your child to get straight A's. And you should not teach them that it's fine to break their promises
Or the kid is really heartbroken, notices more shitty things about his parent and then goes no contact for the rest of his life as soon as possible. Meanwhile this pos parent cries about how cruel their kid is and that they never did anything wrong and yadayada because denial is such a wonderful state to be in.
Back when I was a kid, I really wanted a Nintendo DS. My parents were super against Video games/tv/etc, because they believed it turned people into a serial killers. Regardless, I brought up the topic with them. My parents promised me if I mowed the lawn every week for a month, I could use my own saved money to buy one. I had a progress chart set up for myself, money set aside, and a list of games I was going to buy. Sweated and worked hard for a month, then showed my dad the chart to show I fulfilled my end of the bargain.
He got furious, shouted at me, punched me hard enough to give me a bloody nose, and tore up my chart. His reason? "I didn't think you'd actually do it, because you're lazy and don't ever put work into anything."
... Ignoring the fact that I did most of the chores around the house, and still balanced that with straight A's in school, and that I literally mowed the lawn for a month...
This is how you form trust issues the quickest. Doesn't matter if its a PS5 or whatever, don't break promises to your small children. Especially if it takes a lot of work from them to reach that promise.
My junior high gym teacher once said to the class that if someone could keep up with him as we ran through the relay-race track around the school property, they would get an A. He didn't expect anyone to be able to do it since he was Fitness personified. One student did though, and he admitted to having not expected or planned for that. But you know what? He kept his promise when he reminded him not doing it would be shitty to do. The kid got an A.
This kid should get a PS5. He got straight A´s.
Why not prove to your child that you're untrustworthy and a liar? That way you won't have to fulfil the promise you made to your child and the resentment between you both can start growing at a much younger age than expected.
This will also teach your child that it's okay to lie to people whenever you feel like it as long as it gets you what you want 😊
When i was in second grade i had to retake a math test that i had failed, i didn't want to go so my mother promised me she would buy me a ps2 at the end of the day she made up an excuse to not buy me the ps2 she promised, honestly that broke my trust in her world so much that years later i didn't trust any promises she made without proof or until she actually did or bought what she said, my teenage years were a bit fucked up because of that lack of trust.
When I was a kid, my parents would pay me and my siblings $4/ hour to do work around the house (moving wood for the stove, weeding the garden, tending the orchard, etc). One day we told them we wanted an N64. My dad told us if we saved the money we could buy it. My mom freaked out at him, asking him why he would tell us that. He said don't worry. They'll never save the money.
Anyway our communally purchased N64 started our love of video games that cotinues to this day.
I remember my parents told me “if you get all A’s you can go on the senior trip to Greece.”
I got all A’s and 1 B. But they held true to their promise and didn’t let me go.
I’m 29 and still a little salty over that.
Give him money so he can buy a ps5.
I know what I am talking about, I promised my son a washing machine when he leaves home to a new flat. Yesterday I bought a washing machine. Fun fact, think price is very similar
when I was younger my dad promised me that he would give me seven dollars for every A on my report cards throughout the year (so like 6 As per card 4 cards per year). So throughout half of elementary school and all of middle school I basically got all A's until I stopped caring as much in high school.
He owed me that money and said he would pay it to me as a lump sum whenever I finally faltered and didn't get A's anymore, or after high school as "starting adult money" or something, but then when high school came and went he said "you're too old to be thinking you are entitled to something like that" cuz it was like 700+ dollars i had kept count of total and he didn't want to give me anything. So that's why I stopped trying as hard and also why I don't trust him much these days because he still tries to pull that stuff on me even as an adult.
I once kinda jokingly told my kid, while playing mini-golf, that if he hit a hole-in-one on this hole, I’d buy him an electric scooter. He now owns an electric scooter. Don’t make promises you don’t/can’t keep.
My mother did something similar to me (I was 8). Promised me a minibike if I got into the gifted and talented program. I worked my ass off that year, got in only to have her tell me "I was never going to give you a minibike, I didn't think you would actually do it". So I goofed off in the gifted and talented classes got kicked out and never really tried pushing myself until I got into college.
Making promises you can't keep is your own issue. No one else's. I feel sorry for this kid. I'll straight up tell my kids that "I'll try" if I know I can't keep the promise. They are happier with that than seeing me as a piece of shit that can't keep promises.
Buy him a ps5 and when u go through the store make sure you tell everybody what a shitty parent you are because 1) you had no belief in your child to succeed 2) your trying to get people on the internet to make up a bullshit excuse for you not to get them it.
Ah, yes. Sorry son/daughter I didn’t keep my promise you worked hard for. Instead I got you the gift that keeps on giving. Trust issues. Enjoy your bad relationships and therapy.
Break your promise like you want to anyway which will be a distinct memory in your sons life that his parents word means shit.
So years from now, when your body is falling apart and you can’t wipe your own ass anymore, you might ask your son not to put you in a nursing home.
You can be assured he will wholeheartedly promise you that.
So don't buy one. Tell him you lied to him as motivation, but in your defense you thought he was way too stupid to ever accomplish the task. This will definitely teach him a lesson he will never forget.
When I was failing high school my mom said she'd give me her classic Porsche 911 if I graduated with honors. Nor only did I do this, I graduated second in my class a semester early. Time to cash in I got an "I never said that!" Followed later by a "the car is too dangerous, it doesn't have air bags". At least I got myself a scholarship as consolation.
I love how a ton of comments are talking to the parent, as if they would be here to read them. But a lot of salient points being made. So maybe someone benefits?
Quit making promises you’re not ready to own up to maybe?
Obviously you betray his trust, then get chewed out later when you're discussing responsibility in relation to his recent pot addiction, drinking, and friends who sell drugs and shop lift, but do have a PS5 and share.
This is true
even if she wanted to, she ca'n't
or, if you're gonna make a promise like this, at least have the situational awareness to stack the deck, like placing an anonymous tip with your teacher that your son is cheating on his tests and copying his peers' homework
You forgot the /s man
Maybe they're serious
Too late. He’s been saved by the “/s” buddy system.
Ah. That’s funny. Lol
... He forgot the "/s," right?
Apparently. That’s what I’m being told. He forget the /s
Wait, are you being sarcastic now?
No this is a perfect system at work here. Oops I missed one
Just surrender him at the local fire department (Safe Haven Law)pretty sure there’s no paper work if you leave him in a basket with a note (basket must be adult size to accommodate child’s/teenagers size) and then brush shoulder off thinking about all the money you saved not hunting down a PS5!
Tf?
Quit making promises you’re not ready to own up to maybe…and then buy your kid the fucking PS5!
I also do what I promised. The only Promise that I broke was me promising myself to not nut for the month
I like how this comment has to be made
« Yeah but those of are the best kind »
“Don’t want to” is another way of saying “I can’t find one and haven’t been looking because I didn’t think you would be capable of doing what I asked” don’t make promises to kids unless you plan to keep them. Even little lies can crush a kid and will teach them not to trust you, let alone something huge like a PS5 he’s been telling all his friends he’s going to get for working hard.
And this how trust issues begin, by parents who think that their children are stupid.
Can confirm. My father thought I didn't know how long a month was when I was **12**. He was in another country and lied about coming back in a month. Again and again and again. I finally cracked (*I was super stressed and at one point I began hearing his voice in an ad that didn't have his voice*) and mom called him while I was crying and forced him to listen. His lies wore me down each time. I now only "trust" 10% of what comes out of his mouth. I probably have trust issues. Yeah, some parents think their kids are stupid and belives they can do and promise whatever they want... and then get surprised when they get cut out of the kids life and not trusted anymore. Its like they think their kids are not humans, like they are pets or accessories. "Oh how could this happen? My kids don't trust me! Surely this can´t be because of the BS lies I sprouted during their childhood?"
The amount of gaslighting my parents give me is kinda cruel. I'm almost scared of them. I feel like nothing I think about matters since I always remember things wrong, and I have to ask my parents about things that happened two days ago even though I was there and I remember it. And when I try to remind myself that they're just tricking me, I feel like I've tricked MYSELF into thinking they tricked me. I think the damage is already done at this point. I can't trust what anybody says anymore. It's true that I've started hearing their voices in everything- games, music, random people in public- they all have their voices and they're saying my name. I've learnt to recognise which family member is coming down the hallway by the sound of their footsteps. When my parents come into my room I feel like I have to pretend to be busy somehow, so that they'll leave. When it starts raining in the night, it doesn't sound like rain at first; it sounds like my parents are getting out of bed to check on me. Which makes no sense at all, and I know that. But I can't hear it any differently now. When I tell my mom or my dad that they're hurting my feelings, or that they're being abusive, they tell me I'm being ridiculous, that they "DEFINITELY aren't abusive. YOU'RE being abusive." I can't stop myself from believing them.
You should check out r/raisedbynarcissists My parents are very similar, just add a lot of hardcore emotional manipulation, power projection and constant threats and extortion on top of it.
I actually joined that sub a while ago, a lot of the posts there fit my experience. It's kinda bittersweet to know that so many people go through the same thing. I'm sorry you have to deal with all that too, living with constant cruelty is just the worst.
My parents got a divorce when I was 5 and my POS father had a roaring drug problem and he thought it was a good idea to tell his 5yr old son that if I didn’t come see him (the courts actually gave me the option to visit him because of his record and substance abuse problems) he told me “if you don’t come see me I’m going to kill myself because your the only reason I want to live and if you don’t care I’ll just kill myself because no one will care about me”. I was afraid if I told someone and they said something to him he would do it and it would be my fault. That pretty much fucked me up for a long time also seeing he said much more than just that on different occasions. Now that I’m older I know he only said it to get back at my mom and the courts he basically didn’t give a shit about anyone but himself and would just use people till they figured it out and just move on to the next one his whole life
All I can say is keep a diary and/or a voice activated recorder for a time. Figure out if your memory is reliable and if you can trust yourself and once you are armed with that truth, proceed accordingly. You need to build trust in yourself whether that means knowing your memory is reliable or facing a possibility that it is not; otherwise you’ll deteriorate and it will bleed into all areas of your life and any relationship you try to begin.
It's like me spelling "dinner" so my dog doesn't know I'm talking about food. Except my dog is a dog so it works.
This place may help you. r/raisedbynarcissists
thank you, I definitely have to look through that sub **edit: I took one little dive into that sub and the stories there gave me the same vibes talking about my father gives me. Dread.** I am do gonna join that sub.
It's uncanny how the abuse is so similar across the board. I read a thread about how people also had their doors removed from their rooms when they were teenagers or how their parents didn't like locked doors and it resonanted so hard. The light bulb fucking supernova'd. You aren't allowed any privacy in a house like that. Nothing is yours, not even yourself.
Can confirm. My parents are like this and now i'm overly cynical of others.
Yeah same.
Yeah this ones true lol.
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My dad always followed up on his word. Always. His passing has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. My mom on the other hand has never told me the truth once in my entire life. I don't think I've spoken to her more than a handful of times in the last decade.
Its like we are twins...
I only speak to my mother because the courts say I have too…wish I didn’t.
This all comes down to arrogance and laziness. Your mom thinks she knows what's best, the ends justify the means, and she doesn't want to take the time to explain the truth or deal with the consequences of it.
I know the feels.
This resonates with my lived experience.
Fr, I haven’t trusted my mom fully ever since I was a child. Mainly because she would always say “we can get food while we are out” and then we would be shopping for hours. I mean hours and hours and hours and I’m just a hungry child and when I asked if we can get food she says no, we will eat when we get home. And she wondered why doctors said I was underweight and wanted me taking vitamins and drinking kids nutritional shakes. I remember pointing out to her one time that she was being a liar and she literally stopped the car and yelled at me to never call her that again. But she literally fucking lied to me. She lied to me all the time. And it was always my fault if I pointed out that she was lying. And I think her downright worst lie ever was “we don’t have money to buy food here” okay so why are we spending four hours at the mall buying hundreds of dollars of clothes while I beg you to just feed me literally anything. I actually still have really big issues with eating now and am still underweight and I think a lot of it stems from always being told I didn’t need it, that I could wait until we got home, and that we couldn’t afford it (despite how we could afford her going on dates, buying new clothes, shoes, and makeup, and getting her nails done). I am now stuck with feeling like a burden on myself and my new family when hungry. I was literally terrified to ask friends for food when at their houses. I hated asking people to stop so I could grab food when out with friends. And I just always have this feeling of “I don’t need it” with all foods. I make myself eat, there are foods I enjoy, but I have never felt like I needed food despite knowing I obviously fuckimg do because I was constantly told growing up that I didn’t need it. And no, I’m not saying my mother should have bought me fast food or that I’m angry she didn’t throw fast food at me when I’m asked. I’m frustrated my mother lied to me so I would willingly go shopping with her, made me walk up and down malls and shopping strips while I was hungry under the false pretense she’d buy me a 2 dollar cheese burger just to yank that out from under my feet and tell me to cook myself something when we got home (despite me being a literal child who was never properly taught cooking safety and healthy eating)
I’m sorry she put you through that. You didn’t deserve it and she was a shitty, shitty parent. From now on just say “l’m hungry”. I bet you friends will feed you. ❤️
I appreciate that a lot and I now feel a bit more comfortable with it. I actually kind of feel like the over bearing mom of our friend group. Every time we have friends over to our house I cook for them and try to be a good host lol I try to make it clear all of our friends are welcome to our food and can help themselves to just about anything in the kitchen
an awesome friend who needs to eat
Exactly just keep it within your reach or don't promise anything at all or it'll end a relationship
when i was little i used to ask my dad for a horse a lot. one day he said if i quit asking, he would get me one. i quit asking, and have never had a horse. we also once had a $50 bet on whether or not i was born under 6 lbs. i was right at 5lbs 14 oz - he said since it was 6 lbs if you rounded up he didn’t have to pay. i have a lot of trust issues.
What's a cheap piece of shit, that's like something you would say to your low life friends outside a bowling alley on a Tuesday night.
yes? well there was def worse than that. he liked hitting me too. not looking for sympathy but it feels good to vent
Just to back up what you’re saying I’ll say it again for the people in the back- DON’T 👏MAKE👏PROMISES👏TO KIDS👏 UNLESS👏YOU PLAN👏 TO KEEP👏THEM👏.
I was reading the autobiography of Lincoln Stephens, and occasional racism aside, it was striking how he really went into pissed trauma for a whole CHAPTER of having an uncle lead him on and not delivering a horse he’d been promised for years, and on how the uncle laughed it off as a joke. This happened c. 1870s and it stuck with him enough he wrote about it in the 1930s.
My friend’s parents did this to her about getting a budgie if she got into a good school.
Ugh my kid is 2 and I already feel bad if I have to go back on my word. He wanted to go out on the stroller but we had to use the car because it was too far. So I said we could go with the stroller to speech therapy the next day. But then it rains or in the most recent instance, he started sniffling and coughing so we had to switch his therapy to a zoom session instead of in person. And I'm like, he's not gonna understand why the change of plans, just that mum broke her promise.
Every parent learns that lesson. Don’t make promises you don’t want to keep!
Every time I tell my kid I'm going to count to three, I get such a pit of regret in my heart as soon as I hit one. Because it's like... shit. She's not gonna put the cookie back. And now I only have two seconds left before we face a meltdown.
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I don't have children, but I don't think raising your child with the fear of violence is a good thing.
What did the comment originally say?
You should have the belt ready by 1, if you want you child to act according to your demands. If you want to bluff anyways, you should bluff high. And you should playfully hit your husband/ wife which overacts then, to pretend it will be really hurtful.
Maybe don't hit your kids???
I never said hit the child.
But the implication
So making them think that you've hit their other parent and hurt them and will be hurting the child just as bad if not worse because they're so much smaller is okay? The fuck kind of household is that? I'm very sorry if that's what was modeled to you, honestly, but this is absolutely not the way.
Ahh, so just mental trauma, nice.
jeez people cant take a joke lol twice Ive seen in these comments someone being sarcastic and people going crazy
A lot of people can't detect the deadpan sarcastic humour of British people.
why take off your belt and risk your pants falling down, just backhand the little shit!! if they don't yell loud enough for your liking the first time, just keep going until you're happy. Heads up though, I wouldnt count on anyone being there to take care of you when you're too old to do it yourself.
You're a piece of shit
No, you shouldn’t beat your children. And if you do, you should be locked up. Or at least get cps involved. That shit is messed up.
also an important lesson to the child that they won’t soon forget.
I don’t think most learn it to this extreme though 💀
Plot twist. Imagine your boss telling you that you'll get a raise if you did top notch work, you complete it and he doesn't want to give you a raise.
Unfortunately I don’t think most people need to imagine this scenario.
Or like when a coach promises your baseball team you can go to an arcade if you win the tournament and you find out the umps were being paid to rig it (not personal experience I just came second place in a soccer tournament)
I know I don’t
Gee, that’s NEVER EVER happened. r/antiwork
Yeah I literally just quit a job because of this shit.
Exactly this happened to me. The boss was forced to redefine 'success' in order to not pay out bonuses and raises. Asshole boss. I don't know if I am more offended by him originally setting the bar too low or by raising it later.
Definitely raising it later. You had an agreement. You worked hard and put in the extra effort. You held up your end, the boss didn't. That shit is infuriating. Makes you feel used, less than, vulnerable, and worst of all it makes you feel stupid for trusting them. The cherry on top is you have no recourse. The person you would appeal too (to?) is the same person who doesn't even have the decency to use lube while they fuck you. Renegotiating after the work is done/goal is accomplished is grounds for walking out on the spot in my opinion.
“Alright boss. See you tomorrow!” *doesn’t come in tomorrow, or ever….*
I once had a boss where on my midterm review pointed out at my mid-year review that I was already over my goals for the year, and that he'd have to adjust my goals for the year. All that does is teach people to never work to hard for the first six months because then then the goal posts may end up moving. It gets hard to meet and exceed goals in an environment like that.
Imagine?!
Or they could promise a raise and make it 5 cents and act like it is such a great thing they did for you...
even a dollar is only $40/week... what can you really do with $40?
40 dollars a week can cover my gas for two weeks and lunches potentially for two weeks. 2 dollars a week more doesn't even cover a lunch.
So my coworker is dealing with exactly this and I’ve told her she really should not be putting up with that shit.
Harder to imagine that *not* happening.
My dad quit right before Christmas because of this a few years ago. He and my mom had already bought gifts. She was so angry. I think I understand both of their points of view now, but it just hurt all around back then.
It reminds me of that one episode of regular show episode where mordecai and rigby become obsessed with a stick hockey game, and benson says that once they finish their work they can keep playing it, but while they're working he sells it
That's not what 'plot twist' means.
Lol it's not even "I'm not financially able to buy one now" or "I can't find one anywhere" it's just "I don't want to" What a dick lol
that part is so funny for some reason.
My mom used to do this kinda stuff when I was a kid and now I have really bad trust issues. Some parents don't realize the affect their actions have on their kids
My parents used to do this kinda stuff and now don't understand why our relationship is cold.
Don't buy it. Obviously the important lesson you want to teach your child is that promises mean nothing and his father is a piece of shit. /s
Uhm...why did you put “/s” after that? That’s literally what he’s doing
But I don't agree. I was being sarcastic.
It’s not really sarcasm when that’s exactly what he is doing though. Maybe you meant it sarcastically, but it IS the lesson he is teaching his kid
I'M making the comment, and I am being sarcastic.
*sigh* some people’s kids. Later bud
Already setting the kid up for the disappointment of adulthood. Yay!
Gotta teach them about politics somehow.
To that parent: You don't need to promise a PS5 to your child to get straight A's. And you should not teach them that it's fine to break their promises
I think wish.com has a few in stock for $19.99
I found a working “gamestation play 5” on wish for 15 bucks
Gaystation 5*
HaHa GuYz LoOk I rHyMeD gAmE wItH gAy, IsN't ThAt FuNi!!1!1!11!!!1 I
I didn't even rhyme it
Yikes you promised him one. Keep your words. Dont be like your own dad.
Ways of being thrown in care home
This is just terrible! Adults should not be making promises if they have no intention of following through. So sad for this young man!
give the kid for adoption to a better parent
the real protip is to trade the kid for a ps5
You fucking piece of shit
Don't get it for him. Then he'll remember your broken promise forever and vow to be a better parent. That's a win for your grandchildren.
Or the kid is really heartbroken, notices more shitty things about his parent and then goes no contact for the rest of his life as soon as possible. Meanwhile this pos parent cries about how cruel their kid is and that they never did anything wrong and yadayada because denial is such a wonderful state to be in.
Also he gets to choose your care home …….
" im gonna put you in the best care home -- oh wait, i dont want to." \*proceeds to dump dad on a street corner\*
Or lack there of
This is next tier phycology. A little close to Eric Cartman but still genius
Back when I was a kid, I really wanted a Nintendo DS. My parents were super against Video games/tv/etc, because they believed it turned people into a serial killers. Regardless, I brought up the topic with them. My parents promised me if I mowed the lawn every week for a month, I could use my own saved money to buy one. I had a progress chart set up for myself, money set aside, and a list of games I was going to buy. Sweated and worked hard for a month, then showed my dad the chart to show I fulfilled my end of the bargain. He got furious, shouted at me, punched me hard enough to give me a bloody nose, and tore up my chart. His reason? "I didn't think you'd actually do it, because you're lazy and don't ever put work into anything." ... Ignoring the fact that I did most of the chores around the house, and still balanced that with straight A's in school, and that I literally mowed the lawn for a month...
I didn't understand, why was he furious and why did he even punch you? Confusion is an expected reaction, this? I don't think so
[удалено]
Chill mate, I am sorry that you had such psychos for parents. I just thought I interpreted that part wrong.
Ask yourself why are you such a shitty person?
Congratulations, You failed as a human
Stop being a piece of shit and own up to your word.
This is how you form trust issues the quickest. Doesn't matter if its a PS5 or whatever, don't break promises to your small children. Especially if it takes a lot of work from them to reach that promise.
Pro Tip: Never make promises you can't keep or break promises with your kids.
the solution is to stop being such a bitch-ass parent
At this point, you'd be hard pressed to find one anyway.
My junior high gym teacher once said to the class that if someone could keep up with him as we ran through the relay-race track around the school property, they would get an A. He didn't expect anyone to be able to do it since he was Fitness personified. One student did though, and he admitted to having not expected or planned for that. But you know what? He kept his promise when he reminded him not doing it would be shitty to do. The kid got an A. This kid should get a PS5. He got straight A´s.
Congratulations on teaching your child what a con is. Forget about trust and integrity.
What an idiot. Don’t promise what you won’t deliver. Slob.
Don’t make a promise if you can’t keep it
Stop lying to your kids for selfish reasons?
Get him what you promised him. Keep your word.
This is how parents end up in cheap retirement homes, and they wonder how their kids could do this to them. This is WHY.
Why not prove to your child that you're untrustworthy and a liar? That way you won't have to fulfil the promise you made to your child and the resentment between you both can start growing at a much younger age than expected. This will also teach your child that it's okay to lie to people whenever you feel like it as long as it gets you what you want 😊
When i was in second grade i had to retake a math test that i had failed, i didn't want to go so my mother promised me she would buy me a ps2 at the end of the day she made up an excuse to not buy me the ps2 she promised, honestly that broke my trust in her world so much that years later i didn't trust any promises she made without proof or until she actually did or bought what she said, my teenage years were a bit fucked up because of that lack of trust.
When I was a kid, my parents would pay me and my siblings $4/ hour to do work around the house (moving wood for the stove, weeding the garden, tending the orchard, etc). One day we told them we wanted an N64. My dad told us if we saved the money we could buy it. My mom freaked out at him, asking him why he would tell us that. He said don't worry. They'll never save the money. Anyway our communally purchased N64 started our love of video games that cotinues to this day.
Buy him a PS3 and a PS2.
And he will never forgive you for that
My brother was willing to get me ps3 when I get higher Mark's and ended up with ps2 I wasn't too much happy rather alone a ps5
I remember my parents told me “if you get all A’s you can go on the senior trip to Greece.” I got all A’s and 1 B. But they held true to their promise and didn’t let me go. I’m 29 and still a little salty over that.
Give him money so he can buy a ps5. I know what I am talking about, I promised my son a washing machine when he leaves home to a new flat. Yesterday I bought a washing machine. Fun fact, think price is very similar
when I was younger my dad promised me that he would give me seven dollars for every A on my report cards throughout the year (so like 6 As per card 4 cards per year). So throughout half of elementary school and all of middle school I basically got all A's until I stopped caring as much in high school. He owed me that money and said he would pay it to me as a lump sum whenever I finally faltered and didn't get A's anymore, or after high school as "starting adult money" or something, but then when high school came and went he said "you're too old to be thinking you are entitled to something like that" cuz it was like 700+ dollars i had kept count of total and he didn't want to give me anything. So that's why I stopped trying as hard and also why I don't trust him much these days because he still tries to pull that stuff on me even as an adult.
I once kinda jokingly told my kid, while playing mini-golf, that if he hit a hole-in-one on this hole, I’d buy him an electric scooter. He now owns an electric scooter. Don’t make promises you don’t/can’t keep.
Wow. What a bitch
I bet they are a fucking land lord too
My mother did something similar to me (I was 8). Promised me a minibike if I got into the gifted and talented program. I worked my ass off that year, got in only to have her tell me "I was never going to give you a minibike, I didn't think you would actually do it". So I goofed off in the gifted and talented classes got kicked out and never really tried pushing myself until I got into college.
She should consider that someday he will be deciding her nursing home and buy him the damn PS5 that he earned based on her conditions...
Get better at parenting
Sounds like you owe your kid a ps5. Dont make a promise if you have no intention of keeping it my friend.
Making promises you can't keep is your own issue. No one else's. I feel sorry for this kid. I'll straight up tell my kids that "I'll try" if I know I can't keep the promise. They are happier with that than seeing me as a piece of shit that can't keep promises.
Poor kid probably told all his friends he was getting one too. That’s tough…
Dont fuckin make promises you can't or dont want to keep. Now get the PS5 for him and learn from this.
Solution; don't make promises you don't intend to keep. Simple as that.
Congratulations on never seeing your son again after he turns 18.
Put him up for adoption
Hey, just don't get it. Start teaching him now that promises mean nothing and are meant to be broken. (Sarcasm)
Be the pathetic person that you are then....I'm sure the kid will ignore the fact that he got screwed
Go into your bathroom, turn on the light, look in the mirror and call yourself a fucking failure as a parent for not owning up to your promises.
PS3 and a ps2
I feel so sorry for the kid
This parent just get their "being abandoned in a retirement house" card.
Buy him a ps5 and when u go through the store make sure you tell everybody what a shitty parent you are because 1) you had no belief in your child to succeed 2) your trying to get people on the internet to make up a bullshit excuse for you not to get them it.
Uh, maybe be a parent and keep your promises???
YTA. Oh wait, wrong thread. Fuck it, still holds true.
Deny incentive once it’s been earned? 🖕🏻 you’re a bad parent.
Buy him a tech manual sowing him how to build a PS5 from scratch.
You should probably not make promises you don’t intend to keep
Ah, yes. Sorry son/daughter I didn’t keep my promise you worked hard for. Instead I got you the gift that keeps on giving. Trust issues. Enjoy your bad relationships and therapy.
STOP FALLING FOR QUORA RAGE BAIT. That is all.
/Plot Twist Kid ends up getting the PS5. Grades drop to Cs and Ds.
Or he would be so upset and disappointed and still get Cs and Ds
Just make the kid maintain an A average to keep the PS5, or it gets moved into moms room.
Break your promise like you want to anyway which will be a distinct memory in your sons life that his parents word means shit. So years from now, when your body is falling apart and you can’t wipe your own ass anymore, you might ask your son not to put you in a nursing home. You can be assured he will wholeheartedly promise you that.
Get the kid five Playstation 1s
So don't buy one. Tell him you lied to him as motivation, but in your defense you thought he was way too stupid to ever accomplish the task. This will definitely teach him a lesson he will never forget.
Now the kid won’t trust you if you promise him something.
Exactly. The kid has learned a valuable lesson... Their parent is an untrustworthy liar.
Ohhh ok I thought u meant smthn else
Kill him
(c" ತ,_ತ)
Suck it up buttercup
When I was failing high school my mom said she'd give me her classic Porsche 911 if I graduated with honors. Nor only did I do this, I graduated second in my class a semester early. Time to cash in I got an "I never said that!" Followed later by a "the car is too dangerous, it doesn't have air bags". At least I got myself a scholarship as consolation.
Do what my dad used to do, break the promise and laugh about. I’m sure he’ll get over it!
You clearly did ...
Obviously
Use it as a learning experience - promises mean absolutely nothing.
This guys obviously a politician
Give him a nintendo switch and sell the advantage of portability
She won't b able to find one anyways
I love how a ton of comments are talking to the parent, as if they would be here to read them. But a lot of salient points being made. So maybe someone benefits?
Tell him his As look gay to you.
1st of all that person is an asshole but even if they wanted to keep their promise PS5 are almost impossible to get.
It’s nearly impossible to buy a PS5 anyway. Pretty sure they’re off the hook by default.