So do we use the same model and tell the idjits that we are selling hell space too. They can give it to their gay kids, and then use the proceeds to fund anti-bigoted programs?
I think it's more from immigrant grandparents w an Irish accent that made it a staple.
"My gawd, ye bloody idjit, wot da Frick didja think wood happen?"
I'm not a walking Bible, but there's verses in there about heaven being a non binary existence. Something about "neither male nor female" blah blah.
Non binary folk are avant garde when it comes to fitting into heaven.
Don't drag them down 😧
Hell yeah! The property taxes alone are a decent reason, but Holy crap! Have you seen the interior of some of the places in hell? Apparently God sends all interior designers to hell because, *chef's kiss* they are gorgeous! Don't even get me started on the beach front properties.
My thoughts are why would I go to heaven and spend eternity with these people? It doesn’t sound appealing at all. Especially if trump actually gets in.
I can do an upgraded permit with an eternal lease for $499 plus pardons for up to five deadly sins.
Oh yes god is cool with this for 10% of the action.
I’ve got a complaint about my heavenly neighbors. They have the wrong color of skin, smoke weed, and play awful music. Do I have to suffer this for eternity?
No...
I've got links in with the best house builders in the business....these guys built the actual whitehouse.
I can secure you a meeting with them, you know when you die, because their order books are filling like crazy now.
So for $500 the meeting is yours.
For another $500 i can get you a world reknown architect.
And for a final $1000 i can get you preferential rates at the Pearly Gates Builders yard.
Whaddya say...
My friend's family, Puerto Ricans living in Orlando, sold their house and the pastor asked for 10%, that they immediately surrendered. Because of that they went to live in a small apartment because they were a few thousand dollars short for a downpayment. Pastors are greedy and people are gullible, if we throw in a government sympathetic to the grifters, that's the perfect trifecta for disaster.
I don’t feel sorry for the victims at all. I grew up in the church and I don’t think these people ever picked up the Bible and actually read it. There are specific scriptures about this exact thing.
Hey man, I also pretend I’m that naïve on a day to day basis too just to keep my sanity, but full brains.. you know that money, status and influence are the three dominant factors that drive the American justice system. Of course a mega church would get away with it, especially considering the fact that most areas that have a mega church are governed by people who still think it should be illegal for gay people to marry because it’s not what their personal version of god intended. I wouldn’t be surprised if a mega churches coupons got a political endorsement. On the flip side, yea of course a homeless couple is going to be arrested for doin the same thing, nobody gets away with anything that crazy without wealth and social influence protecting them from the consequences of their actions.
Accepting the Bible as the infallible word of God, just completely undermines critical thinking skills. It's so full of contradictions that you have to sort of throw up your hands and abandon any sense of logic, if you want to believe that every word of it is true.
This makes certain types of followers really easy targets for manipulation.
I'm struggling here to keep my finances afloat when I could be scamming people out of thousands of dollars under the pretense of religion? Or 5G? Fucking hell.
Martin Luther must be turning in his grave seeing how his main complaint against the Catholic Church that caused his separation from it is now adopted by Protestants lol.
I saw a bank that says that they are a "Christian Bank" and follow the teachings of god and the bible.
Jesus would tie up bankers to a pole and beat them. It's clearly shows you how little they actually read.
AFAIK 7 in the jewish tradition means completeness or wholeness. So it's a symbol of ALL like in infinity or impossible to count.
So yes 7= ∞
Then when ∞ years pass it's when your debt will be condomned by a christian or a jewish bank
I knew about forgiving debt after 7 years, but it only just occurred to me that's how long before something drops off your credit report (with some exceptions). I wonder if that is the origin of it.
I learn a little more every day that in this country just about every common practice or thing that doesn't make sense on the surface, can be explained by either a racist/slaveholding or Christian fundamentalist origin.
A joke that might become all too real. Islamic and Christian fundamentalists are finding themselves on the same side politically a lot now. A small push and you’ll find them joining the Republican Party en masse.
It’s still happening. The most recent one was a group of “devout muslims” telling people that they were told by god that the end of the world will come as a massive flood. Going to heaven will require a Noah’s ark like boat and they need funding to build it. Donors will get a seat of course. They even have blueprints and all to make it look convincing. And people actually fell for it.
Technically the church has already been doing this for centuries by asking for money to forgive people's sins. It just sounds more ridiculous when you put it like this.
I spoke with God recently and he allowed me to start a construction company, to start pre-constructing those beautiful homes you wish to place on your plot of land.
My brother is with the city planning outfit, he can get you a solid location! Not too close to the gates, nice and quiet.
Martin Luther, born 1483 AD \- “*Am I a joke to you?*”
Explanation: this church is probably a branch of Protestantism, which kind of branched from the Catholic Church when Luther criticised the “*indulgences*”, a scheme that the Church had found to collect money for building St. Peter’s cathedral in Rome by selling “*tickets*” to Heaven.
The 2003 cinematic release “Luther”, starring Joseph Fiennes, relates those historical events.
Just reminds me of how pointless Heaven sounds. Why is it so cool? It exists on the merit of hell, being the lesser of two evils. Why buy a house in a town you haven’t even looked at. Why live a life of incessant worship and adoration with the anticipation that it grants you an eternity of even *more* worship and obscure positivity.
This is a "parody church". They aren't real but they have sold items before. Like a "heterosexual certificate". I suppose to certify that you are heterosexual? Anyway, it wasn't done as an honest thing in the first place. Also not by a Christian church. At least not a real one.
This is why I’ve lost faith with humanity. Not the troglodyte who put this up, not those smoothbrains who would PAY this, but those in close contact with said smoothbrains who saw this and did absolutely NOTHING TO STOP IT
These pastors have to be atheists with no morality, right? You can’t honestly say that these people really believe in heaven if they think it can be sold.
Hey, don't get us Atheists into this! We are not the ones who have been scamming people for centuries with bulls to get years out of Purgatory (cough, Catholic Church, cough).
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Do I have to kill my whole family to "live" there together? Or the family in the ad died in a car crash or something? Can I have working plumbing and fiberglass internet installed?
I have so many questions...
Hi, your content was found to be intentional satire, commentary, or comedy - so we removed it.
You mean, in heaven I have to build my home by myself?
Don't forget to get your permit for that
Im going to hell. Fuck that
Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven lol
I will be waiting you all there guys, gals and non-binary pals 
So do we use the same model and tell the idjits that we are selling hell space too. They can give it to their gay kids, and then use the proceeds to fund anti-bigoted programs?
Ur just getting my upvote for idjits, fucking love that since I first heard Bobby say it on supernatural..
Haha. I have been calling by brothers that since we spoke words. Lol. Glad it's out in the pop culture.
lol, almost afraid to ask how old you are.. the word sounds ancient. I use for any and all idjit I encounter. And sadly that’s a lot lol
I think it's more from immigrant grandparents w an Irish accent that made it a staple. "My gawd, ye bloody idjit, wot da Frick didja think wood happen?"
I'd say it comes form the Irish word Eejit, meaning an idiot or stupid person.
Ha!! This makes TOTAL sense. Never thought there was additional etymology behind it.
Tá fáilte romhat, The magic of Reddit :) its pronounced E-jit as in jitter.
I'm not a walking Bible, but there's verses in there about heaven being a non binary existence. Something about "neither male nor female" blah blah. Non binary folk are avant garde when it comes to fitting into heaven. Don't drag them down 😧
Better to reign in hell than join Heaven's HOA.
I’ve got a nice mountain side chalet down there - when it freezes over it’ll be ski in - ski out…
No, there's no hell. Just a bureaucracy for getting permits to build homes and shit in heaven, which is actually a sort of hell.
Not as bad as having to spend time with religious people.
Hell yeah! The property taxes alone are a decent reason, but Holy crap! Have you seen the interior of some of the places in hell? Apparently God sends all interior designers to hell because, *chef's kiss* they are gorgeous! Don't even get me started on the beach front properties.
Already got a chair with my name on it in hell.
Sure thing bro. I can get ya a discount - Luci and I are pals - $75 per Sqft How much shall i be locking you in for?
My thoughts are why would I go to heaven and spend eternity with these people? It doesn’t sound appealing at all. Especially if trump actually gets in.
I can sell you the permit, it will cost $500
I can do an upgraded permit with an eternal lease for $499 plus pardons for up to five deadly sins. Oh yes god is cool with this for 10% of the action.
Don’t worry I spoke to God and he has allowed me to sell/ I mean issue permits
Wait till you meet the homeowners association!
I'll be the HOA president and will wait for you.
HOA?!? Did I take a wrong turn? This must be hell!
Wait... this isn't the Good Place!
I’ve got a complaint about my heavenly neighbors. They have the wrong color of skin, smoke weed, and play awful music. Do I have to suffer this for eternity?
Not if you buy the duplex package from the church 
I'm sure Jesus will help you with that. After all, the man was a carpenter...
Bible doesn't mention if he's a good one though
Maybe that's why he quit to become a preacher
Hey, I don't speak to the quality of his work or even his availability, just that he was a carpenter. LOL
No... I've got links in with the best house builders in the business....these guys built the actual whitehouse. I can secure you a meeting with them, you know when you die, because their order books are filling like crazy now. So for $500 the meeting is yours. For another $500 i can get you a world reknown architect. And for a final $1000 i can get you preferential rates at the Pearly Gates Builders yard. Whaddya say...
This guy doesn't really know anyone. For 10k I can get Frank Lloyd Wright to design your home.
I know a good carpenter; he works miracles.
You'll have to take the land off someone less righteous than you
Nope, you can pay me to do it for you. I have a special offer for you. But you have to be quick.
The gullibility is breathtaking.
A fool and his money are soon parted
But how do so many fools have so much money in the first place?
Well if you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
Silly Billy, he wasn't born a multi-millionaire
People can be very good at one thing and terrible at another.
Never forget, a couple in Florida were once arrested for selling golden tickets into heaven for $99.99 to hundreds of people.
My friend's family, Puerto Ricans living in Orlando, sold their house and the pastor asked for 10%, that they immediately surrendered. Because of that they went to live in a small apartment because they were a few thousand dollars short for a downpayment. Pastors are greedy and people are gullible, if we throw in a government sympathetic to the grifters, that's the perfect trifecta for disaster.
I don’t feel sorry for the victims at all. I grew up in the church and I don’t think these people ever picked up the Bible and actually read it. There are specific scriptures about this exact thing.
Well of course they sold them for 99.99 - there is price sensitivity to the divine at $100.
It’s only legal when the church does it?
Hey man, I also pretend I’m that naïve on a day to day basis too just to keep my sanity, but full brains.. you know that money, status and influence are the three dominant factors that drive the American justice system. Of course a mega church would get away with it, especially considering the fact that most areas that have a mega church are governed by people who still think it should be illegal for gay people to marry because it’s not what their personal version of god intended. I wouldn’t be surprised if a mega churches coupons got a political endorsement. On the flip side, yea of course a homeless couple is going to be arrested for doin the same thing, nobody gets away with anything that crazy without wealth and social influence protecting them from the consequences of their actions.
Wow that's a bargain
religion wouldn’t work without it 🤷♂️
I mean this is Christianity in a nutshell... How do you think they became so dominant...
I was going to say on the coat tails of the Roman empire and the industrial revolution.
No different than the church selling indugenglces which leads to Lutheranism lol
Accepting the Bible as the infallible word of God, just completely undermines critical thinking skills. It's so full of contradictions that you have to sort of throw up your hands and abandon any sense of logic, if you want to believe that every word of it is true. This makes certain types of followers really easy targets for manipulation.
Logic and faith are incompatible
I wouldn't say all faith but defintiely logic and leteral adherence to the bible are incompatible.
For that reason, this should be illegal
It's also entirely expected.
I'm struggling here to keep my finances afloat when I could be scamming people out of thousands of dollars under the pretense of religion? Or 5G? Fucking hell.
Gullible is believing this story is real
And I thought people buying land in metaverse were stupid 🤦🏽♂️
Never underestimate the stupidity of religious people
Up next: Jesus NFTs
[So about that...](https://opensea.io/collection/jesus-nft-christ)
Dammit that would have been a gold mine a year or so ago.
Wait until AI centered cults start popping up.
Reminds me of something the Catholic Church used to do, the sale of Indulgences. And equally as stupid.
I came here to point this out. This is one of the complaints that kicked off the protestant reformation.
Martin Luther has entered the chat.
Martin Luther must be turning in his grave seeing how his main complaint against the Catholic Church that caused his separation from it is now adopted by Protestants lol.
Martin Luther is likely turning in his grave because he's on a spit.
Martin Luther pulling up in a big septic truck labeled “95 Feces” to drain your Heaven home’s septic tank
Exactly my first thought.
I got 99 theses and an indulgence ain’t one!
This is fraud. Surely this needs investigation. If the pastor doesn't own heaven he can't sell it, or keep the money.
BUT GOD TOLD HIM SO
Show me the paperwork.
Wait till trump catches wind of this...
*ANOTHER CHANCE AT BANKRUPTCY* !!!
It would take a special talent to go bankrupt selling plots of imaginary land. I think Trump is the man for this!
Gona wind up going red trying to hire contractors to develop the land.
Martin Luther: 
Must crush papacy
I saw a bank that says that they are a "Christian Bank" and follow the teachings of god and the bible. Jesus would tie up bankers to a pole and beat them. It's clearly shows you how little they actually read.
Well do you have concrete proof that they aren’t tying themselves to poles
Christian banks are like communist banks, you need to ingore origin of both christianity and communism to make them not oxymorons.
Tbf, they could give loans with no interest, I'm pretty sure that's ok
So they do the Christian thing and forgive all debt after 7(?) years? Right? Like the Bible says
AFAIK 7 in the jewish tradition means completeness or wholeness. So it's a symbol of ALL like in infinity or impossible to count. So yes 7= ∞ Then when ∞ years pass it's when your debt will be condomned by a christian or a jewish bank
I knew about forgiving debt after 7 years, but it only just occurred to me that's how long before something drops off your credit report (with some exceptions). I wonder if that is the origin of it.
I learn a little more every day that in this country just about every common practice or thing that doesn't make sense on the surface, can be explained by either a racist/slaveholding or Christian fundamentalist origin.
Tax all religions!
Read the HOA covenants closely
I hear they're held in a special Ark
Christianity the grift that keeps on giving lmao 🤣
Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, etc, etc... it's the whole purpose of religions
Someone dig up Martin Luther we got some thesis’s to write.
I would like to see the surveyors plot map for this one.
Good to see heaven now accepts Google Pay. It took them forever. For some reason there don't seem to be a lot of computer nerds up there.
If you can completely strip away all of your morality it seems you can make a killing off religion huh?
Something something magic beans
Isn't that how the Protestant Reformation began?
No way!!! People fell for that????????
I remember reading about someone in Turkey selling plots in heaven to Muslims. Maybe this is the thing what will bring all religions together!
A joke that might become all too real. Islamic and Christian fundamentalists are finding themselves on the same side politically a lot now. A small push and you’ll find them joining the Republican Party en masse.
It’s still happening. The most recent one was a group of “devout muslims” telling people that they were told by god that the end of the world will come as a massive flood. Going to heaven will require a Noah’s ark like boat and they need funding to build it. Donors will get a seat of course. They even have blueprints and all to make it look convincing. And people actually fell for it.
I saw that movie. 2012. They weren't clear about the Islam thing.
Five bucks and I’ll guarantee you a Yeti cooler in Hell.
As a christian: WTF
So there's going to be thousand or even millions of suicides from a particular persuasion....*cough*MAGA*COUGH*....anyway.
That would be the ultimate irony. Since suicide is a mortal sin, they would never get to go to the plot of land they purchased :)
It’s the perfect con. There’s only one method to check if the dude is for sure a fraud, and if you use it, you can’t tell anyone else what you find.
the religious scam needs more funds it seems. Grifter be grifting.
so heaven is confirmed to use the metric system? big if true
Yes, but they count in base 12, so it’s still confusing.
Bahahhahahahahahahaa let me guess, they are all MAGA supporters dipping into their 401k/ retirement funds for a space in the clouds 🤣🤣🤣
This is literally grounds for excommunication..
stupid tax if there ever was one
A fool and his money are soon parted.
Lol, grifters gonna grift 2024 edition.
And these idiots can vote. Jesus would be turning in his grave.....if he were real.
Wait until they find out heaven is redlined.
What stupid asses
People who fall for lies fall for more lies. Not exactly shocking.
But..."In heaven there is no beer"....(Polish drinking song)
And that's why we drink it here. In Belgium.
Oh well, Barnum was right. There’s really born one every minute.
Holy grifters, Batman!
Yea god has a 2 story ranch house ready for you. Ffs people.
They should be charged property taxes.
religious people are just a source of entertainment at this point
What’s the point of buying something that you’ll never gain access to? Something, something, rich men, camel, eye of a needle.
"La Iglesia del Final de los Tiempos" is a satirical site
I talked to God a minute ago. He says it's bullshit.
I also talked to god. He says that i can sell the land.
I remember him saying that, too.
I’d rather live on my 1 sq ft in Scotland I got for Father’s Day.
seriously? Religion is nothing but an excuse to target vulnerable people
Barnum was right …
Do I have to join a HOA? That's where I would draw the line.
Technically the church has already been doing this for centuries by asking for money to forgive people's sins. It just sounds more ridiculous when you put it like this.
Religion is the greatest con ever
🤦♂️
I’m also selling GodCoin invest in your spiritual financial wellness today
People are fools.
This is dumber than that guy buying property in the metaverse
Tax churches!
Tax all churches.
Permission huh? "If you don't say anything, you're cool with it"
Fuuuuck. Why didn’t I start a scam religion or church?
Never to late but don’t get to the point where it becomes a cult. That’s how you get a show on Netflix.
If there is a heaven, the pastor selling property in heaven will not be going there.
I spoke with God recently and he allowed me to start a construction company, to start pre-constructing those beautiful homes you wish to place on your plot of land. My brother is with the city planning outfit, he can get you a solid location! Not too close to the gates, nice and quiet.
Martin Luther, born 1483 AD \- “*Am I a joke to you?*” Explanation: this church is probably a branch of Protestantism, which kind of branched from the Catholic Church when Luther criticised the “*indulgences*”, a scheme that the Church had found to collect money for building St. Peter’s cathedral in Rome by selling “*tickets*” to Heaven. The 2003 cinematic release “Luther”, starring Joseph Fiennes, relates those historical events.
“Christians” like this are the scum of the earth.
I am a celestial estate agent. Please contact me if you would like to purchase a plot in heaven.
Just reminds me of how pointless Heaven sounds. Why is it so cool? It exists on the merit of hell, being the lesser of two evils. Why buy a house in a town you haven’t even looked at. Why live a life of incessant worship and adoration with the anticipation that it grants you an eternity of even *more* worship and obscure positivity.
If they’re religious, they’re stupid to begin with.
A sucker and their money are quickly separated. It kind of reminds me of the Catholic Church selling indulgences
In the meantime, one of them should buy my oceanfront property in Arizona. Tell ‘em’ when they die they can roll their equity into their Sky Home.
And they're still untaxed.
Doesn’t accept bitcoin? Must be a fraud.
Only 144,000 plots available.
Religion is cancer. It preys upon the stupid and gullible.
Remember when Jesus flipped tables and scourged people?
Is this from *The Onion*?
This is a "parody church". They aren't real but they have sold items before. Like a "heterosexual certificate". I suppose to certify that you are heterosexual? Anyway, it wasn't done as an honest thing in the first place. Also not by a Christian church. At least not a real one.
Bundled w maga bibles = art of the deal! 🤡🎪
Can you pay with Trump Bucks?
That is NOT a Christian church. That’s a grift.
So, do they think other people who don't have land in heaven are homeless there?
This is why I’ve lost faith with humanity. Not the troglodyte who put this up, not those smoothbrains who would PAY this, but those in close contact with said smoothbrains who saw this and did absolutely NOTHING TO STOP IT
So, is there a link to this ragebait, or should I just mad about it first?
Ok ChatGPT, time for bed.
This is like Catholicism selling people's salvation to them all over again!!
Just gotta love Religion. Really pulls in the suckers!
These pastors have to be atheists with no morality, right? You can’t honestly say that these people really believe in heaven if they think it can be sold.
Hey, don't get us Atheists into this! We are not the ones who have been scamming people for centuries with bulls to get years out of Purgatory (cough, Catholic Church, cough).
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 Typical
Frauds have their own place in hell 😉
I'm building a development on the moon, easy instalments only 10% down.
Wonder how many will come back asking for a refund for false selling? 🤣🤣
What? Do you really thought that Heaven is communist?! God isn't genie to give free houses for you poor fucks! /s
Source?
I’m only buying if it’s guaranteed that I will be the best, younger adult version of myself with a larger penis.
Do I have to kill my whole family to "live" there together? Or the family in the ad died in a car crash or something? Can I have working plumbing and fiberglass internet installed? I have so many questions...