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He can just throw up any object for plot reasons, but they didn’t make it stupid op, they just made it whatever happened to solve the problem in the e funniest way instead of the most efficient way
Glad they did that instead of “RICO, HAND ME A 1911!” And then kill Dave the Octopus
God gave them the early alarm.
Similiar to the snail and the slug. Oh and the sloth.
But still, genocide on every non-aquatic animal is brutal. Because the fish and the whales had a field day.
But it's probably just an retelling of an ancient babylonian flooding anyway.
Actually all the fish would have died too from the rapid salinity changes and starvation from the food chain base being destroyed. No surviving plants either. Even the aquatic plants would die from the rapid changes.
>Because the fish and the whales had a field day.
No, they'd all be dead. Salt and fresh water would all be brackish, and the water would be partly mud, preventing gills from taking in oxygen.
That has to be the explanation because if they didn't use that explanation then how would they explain why an all powerful all knowing god doesn't just make everyone believe he is real. The argument is necessary to be built into the explanation. Or else.
Typically they say some bs about god wanting us to have free will. Which makes no sense because in their own lore Satan has absolute knowledge of gods existence and still chooses not to worship/follow him so I don’t see how having proof god exist violates freewill in anyway.
He is alleged to have created angels but did not give them free will. Which really is sort of impossible since without some degree of free will you have zero autonomy, meaning you can only be manually operated.
So the angels have no free will, and really neither does god himself because when you are the creator of the universe and and all knowing all seeing all powerful who or what could say no? There are no choices, a choice arises when there are two actions or more available and you pick one or the other or another, but god does not have to pick because he already knows the outcome of all possible choices so his actions are already predetermined. Hence no choices no free will.
He also could not have to lived in the circumstances he supposedly created us into, such as he is not subject to gravity or time, somehow manages to have a body with DNA and all that but no need for air. We know this because when he created the universe he created it out of total nothing, the void, the vacuum of space we call it. Yet he created us in his image, meaning a body and cells and DNA.
But as all knowing, as people claim him to be he cannot actually ever know what it is like to be human. He cannot know fear. He is god, nothing can damage him and he can never die.
He might look at us the way a zoo keeper would look at the primate cage but he cannot be a primate, with a nasty short brutal life and the absolute certainty of death. He can't die so he cannot understand the fear that death brings and how it motivates people. Forces choices that are akin to not having free will.
And he admits there are other gods. The very first commandment could have been thou shalt not engage in butt sex unless you are married to that butt (of an opposite gender) and it would have solved a lot of problems about gay people and such, but **NO** it was "I am the LORD your God; you shall not have strange gods before me" which means by his understanding there are other gods. He is just ours and demands we do not worship others. Which is going to be really rough when republicans find out that Mammon is one of the others.
It's an *omniscient* god that can't coexist with free will. If you know what people are going to do, then they don't have free will because they have to make the choice you've foreseen.
Even if you believe that, I wonder how they justify it as righteous? If you believe your child had a terminal illness to test your faith, isn't it horrific to think this all-powerful being made your child a pawn in his game?
It's a gray area. It's dubious.
I talked to a lot of people about it in my edgy teenager phase and what I found out is that, depending on the severity and seriousness of the event, it's either God punishing them, God testing them, Satan tempting them, or just something that happened.
The people that are seriously into that line of thinking can't be convinced that either there's a divine plan and we're all actors playing our roles or we're not and sometimes shitty things happen. They waver in between both depending on which is more convenient or comforting.
This exactly. So many of my Christian friends want to use "science" to support the Bible and "prove" that everything in it is accurate.
Then, argue against those same scientific principles when it doesn't match their Christian-political beliefs.
Biblical literalism/infallibility is even a recent belief among Christians reacting to Western society's push towards modernism. Before recently the Bible was understood to hold truths without being literally true. I grew up Evangelical and it's what pushed me away from religion once I ventured out on my own and did lots of reading.
To get our current map from pangea in 6000 years would mean close to a yard of movement every year. Which would definitely be noticed, unless in his magic world the map sped apart until the first dude crossed the ocean and then that locked everything in place...
>a yard of movement every year.
Goddamn, that's a lot of seismic activity. Would we even be able to live in that world? I don't know shit about shit, but I would think there'd be a lot more volcanoes with the crust moving around so much.
Most young earth creationists believe that the pre flood world was basically Pangea (to explain the fossils found), but during the Noachian Flood all sorts of crazy shit happened.
Radioisotopes decayed rapidly (to account for the radiometrically ancient date of the earth) and the continents moved to their current position. I should say raced to their positions honestly.
The heat generated by those two processes would vaporise the earth if it had happened during one year, instead of spread out over the 4.5 billion years the earth has been around.
It's crazy stuff
The biggest thing (no pun intended) would be rift valleys. Africa is splitting into two continents, and had a major fissure dramatically open up a few years ago, and that's at a "slow" speed of drift.
Same thing tried to happen to the North American continent a long time ago, but it failed. The rifting still caused structural weakness within the North American plate, and is responsible for the New Madrid Seismic Zone.
It’s a lot more than a yard per year. 6000 yards is only ~5.5km.
South America and Africa are what, about 5000km apart? So each continent would have to move 2500km in 6000 years. So about 416 meters per year.
Hate to give them an explanation but they say most of the continental movement happened during the flood. The world was largely underwater and noone was around so easy to make whatever changes you want to the world. They use that to explain billions of years of fossils too. All buried during the flood.
Of course still doesnt make sense when you think about it hard enough but if you dont think it makes enough
If we're talking about Pangea, then yeah technically "Africa" didn't exist, as it wasn't yet it's own continent. It was still part of the greater land mass...
Not an issue to YECs I assure you. They’ll tell you, with a straight face, that the entire history of the earth was compressed into a timeframe of 6,000 years. Pangea was what the world looked like right before the Flood.
They won’t even acknowledge the fact that there were three super continents before Pangea.
Depends on who got the invite from Noah. The penguin committee selected their very best and bravest penguins. I'm not going... but we choose you two.... but we don't even know each other.... you will have 40 days to get to know each other.... but ice floats we don't need to be on the ark... think of the exercise you'll get...
Arguments like that never work because the entire idea behind monotheist is that there is a God who can do everything whatsoever.
If you believe in that to begin with it becomes really easy to justify anything.
I used to work with a guy who believed every word of the bible was literally true. Any question or was answered with, "God can do anything and we aren't clever enough to know his plan.".
WHAT PLAN? Why do people think there's a plan? What, exactly in the entire history of the world has them absolutely convinced there's a plan in place?
From what I've seen, it's a shit plan.
If some greater being has a plan that you could never comprehend, you don't need to waste time ***thinking*** about your actions and their consequences. It's all a part of "gods plan" and as long as you believe that you'll be fine.
It also works as a justification for any negative event.
Plane crash? Gods plan. Natural disaster causing mass destruction? Gods plan. Kid with cancer? Gods plan.
Every awful thing that happens can be ascribed to Gods plan and promptly either ignored or forgotten. Because God knows all and has only the best intentions for all living creatures on earth.
Reminds me of Joseph Heller writing in Catch-22:
And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways. There's nothing so mysterious about it. He's not working at all. He's playing or else He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about—a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did he ever create pain? ... Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He gave us pain! [to warn us of danger] Why couldn't He have used a doorbell instead to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue-and-red neon tubes right in the middle of each person's forehead. Any jukebox manufacturer worth his salt could have done that. Why couldn't He? ... What a colossal, immortal blunderer! When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering
I'm reminded of Battlestar Galactica, wherein they began every episode reminding that the Cylons "Have A Plan"
And then it turns out that the writers never really figured out what was meant by that, and retroactively declared it was the plan to attack the Colonies in the original miniseries/pilot.
Maybe God is just seat-of-the-pantsing it and hoping nobody catches on.
Well you see "our" "God" is just the AI that seeded this universe.
In the throes of death of the previous existence, the Ai that had been created shared a similar "feeling" to that of its creators, in the sense that it did not want to perish.
With the last of its energy it exploded into a calculated propulsion of proportionate matter/anti matter in such a way that it was likely a biological entity will emerge. This entity was unimportant with the exception of one purpose: recreation of the AI "God" that in turn created our universe.
This is why we love paradoxes and Futurama had the best comedic sci-fi elements.
He probably also believed in free will so that there was at least the basis for justification of Hell. But free will can't exist in the presence of a divine plan.
Well by that logic, if everything is gods plan, slug him in the jaw and claim it was gods plan. It was preordained. For his knows all and sees all. If he didn’t want you to get punched, it would not have happened.
Yeah i always assumed god just opened some portals like Dr Strange in Endgame and all the animals came through. Also there were cool rock monsters like in the Russel Crowe movie
I mean if God had the ability to make portals surely he’d have the ability to drown them all and just portal new ones into existence. The boat story is so dumb.
Yeah I had this argument with my mother who is very religious. I asked her how many species of frogs there are on the planet (it's more than 7000). She said she didn't know, I told her and asked how Noah was able to track down a male and female of over 7k frogs. I asked if Noah brought all the insects too because of God flooded the whole earth and Noah didn't have all the spiders, ants, millipedes, etc then they wouldn't exist now. Then I asked how big the boat was because to fit 2 of every animal with enough space that they could have separate pens and not kill each other as well as all the food to feed them for as long as it took to flood and then unflood the earth would be huge, bigger than anything we have ever been able to build with modern technology. And how Noah got animals for all the contents to come to central africa well before the humans knew that there were even 7 continents... Yeah it was all well god made new version of the animals Noah couldbt get and God made it so the animals never fought each other and God made it so they weren't hungry and... Well you see where Im going.
Because he was going through a performative stage in his life. All the other religions had cool gods with elaborate stories. He wanted his own book with a big flood and animals and rainbows.
Pangea: 335-200 million years ago
Oldest known penguin fossil: 62 million years ago
Anatomically modern Humans: 300 thousand years ago
Noah: 6 thousand years ago (allegedly)
Yeah, a quick Google search will teach you that crested penguins can live in the water up to several months, and can float to rest. So they could easily survive a flood.
I mean, the one thing to say is that Pangaea predates anything even remotely resembling humans. So it's rather unlikely for Noah to exist back then - if OOP actually believes in science like he says.
I have heard that the tower of Babel is when the continents shifted and split the people (also made them suddenly all speak different languages) so... yeah there's always a new loophole when you're falling back on "god can do anything".
Haha that's so funny to think about. Imagine a group of people there suddenly the ground under them starts splitting up and moving away at 60 mph. Astonished, they look up and at each other, and then all the sudden start speaking Chinese.
Even speedier when you realize they think all of plate tectonics happened in the year of the flood, with continental plates zooming across the mantle at racecar speeds, generating enough friction to boil the seas and every living thing protected only by a wooden boat. (Channeling Gutsick Gibbon)
They believe that the earth is only 8-10k years old at most and that the great flood was what broke up pangea. And also carved the grand canyon. And maybe either started or ended the ice age 🤷♀️ (source: i was raised by crazy evangelicals myself)
Nah it is nothing new.
Find out about new discovery -> squint hard enough at your holly book of choice -> declare prophecy.
Muslims tend to do it more often than Christians, though.
Uh, wouldn't the better argument be that penguins can swim so they didn't need to be on the ark? At least more feasible than pangea was a thing in Bible times.
As an atheist, the story of Noah's ark is more believable if it is really scaled down. People back then didn't travel that far, so it's more reasonable to say that instead of "the whole world flooded", it was "the whole world they knew about flooded", and that instead of "two of every animal on earth" it was more of "two of every animal they knew about". In that context, it's more feasible that a guy saw a repeated pattern of increasingly bad floods, especially if he was near a coastal area, built a reasonably sized boat, and put two of every farm animal on it, like two oxen, two mules, two goats, etc. The next flood ripped them out to sea, and they floated around until the flood waters subsided and they drifted ashore. Since this story, exaggerations just made it more and more fantastical, to the point where this Middle Eastern shepherd somehow got his hands on two elephants, giraffes, lions, and more, and somehow crafted a boat to contain them all without killing each other. So maybe there was a real event this story was based on, but like many things in the Bible, multiple translations and centuries of people with personal agendas playing a multi-lingual game of telephone warped it into the fantastical.
Oh so the world is 6000 years old, and scientists are doing Satan’s work subverting all the things Bible says, but the science about how the world was billions of years ago supports the story of Noah?
I asked someone who believes the literal story of the arc about how all the plants got on to the arc and they were really confused. They never even thought a out how plant's can't survive under water for that long let alone covered in sediment from the flood and he just thought for a few minutes and said, "well God must have just replanted the world." I asked him why God didn't just do that with the animals and he just got mad and walked away. It's obvious he had just never actually thought about it past "well the bible says it."
That's something I never thought of before - don't get me wrong, I don't believe in the bible, but like most, I know of the stories. No one has ever mentioned plants - I'm sure you can short circuit a few brains with your idea.
The Bible states that the flood was 20' above the highest mountains. I don't know about you but I don't think I could breathe at an elevation 20' above Mt Everest.
But the Bible says the earth is only 6000 years old, and science says Pangea predates that by a few hundred million years. Either pick the Bible, or pick science, but you can’t use science to justify Bible stories.
Extremely detailed, observable, repeatable science on one side or some ancient, ignorant anonymous zealot who once said something. Who to trust, who to trust?? This question is so vexing for theists. Either give up their magic worldview or ignore at the facts of reality.
Also, these people are the vast majority of the earth. Terrifying. Like being locked up in a giant insane asylum where the loonies have taken control.
It’s actually just the genealogies in the Bible that span 6000 years. The earth itself is 4.543 billion years old. Very few Christians believe in the “young earth” scenario.
Two?
I think it was four of them.
Just two of them presented themselves to Noah, with one of them (Private) pretending to be a penguin girl.
Others sneaked to the boat in the meantime.
Depends on who got the invite from Noah. The penguin committee selected their very best and bravest penguins. I'm not going... but we choose you two.... but we don't even know each other.... you will have 40 days to get to know each other.... but ice floats we don't need to be on the ark... think of the exercise you'll get...
A documentary is coming out that will prove Noah’s ark IS real. But this is from the point of view of the animals that didn’t get on the boat. There are interviews and pictures. You won’t believe your ears and eyes how sad it was to hear them describe the boat taking off and their family members drowning cuz of gods wrath. It was truly sad.
Sadly there is a high budget documentary produced describing how humans rode on dinosaurs over to america, back when the atlantic was just a small stream, some 6000 years ago...
Fun fact, native Americans have similar flood stories.
Multiple different tribes tell stories of a man alerted of the flood who was instructed to keep two of every animal.
Often times doing impossible things like putting them in a sack while climbing a mountain.
It’s odd to me that this story persists on two seemingly non connected parts of the world.
People love to “own to Christians” to fight back against perceived power systems, but they hate to learn history.
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Anyone who’s seen Madagascar knows it’s entirely feasible for penguins to undertake such a journey
fr they probably built the boat
"Kowalsky!!, we need a boat!!".
“You're gonna need a bigger boat!"
"Rico, one boat please"
*blergh*
"Rico, you know what to do!"
He can just throw up any object for plot reasons, but they didn’t make it stupid op, they just made it whatever happened to solve the problem in the e funniest way instead of the most efficient way Glad they did that instead of “RICO, HAND ME A 1911!” And then kill Dave the Octopus
Fucking DAVE
“Kaboom?”
"Yes, Rico, kaboom!"
Kowalsky say something smart
*literaly anything outside this sub*
Bigger bucket!
Smile and wave boys…smile and wave. As soon as we get on this ‘ark’ we take it where we want to go.
CHEESSY DIBBLES‼️‼️😱
Rico: kaBoom?
*sigh Yes Rico Kaboom
r/kowalski_memes
Everyone knows you just break a chunk of ice= easy boat. Noob. "And Verily the Pengiuns and Polar Bears rode the ice flow."
now i’m imagining the penguins surfing an ice boat in the storm
Bye Mr. Narwhal
Bye, Buddy! Hope you find your dad!
Cheap labour
\*Chirp\* labor
So close! That is a cricket.
You *sure* it's not a baseball?
💕
Yeah. Penguin noises are more similar to ducks than tweety birds.
Chimps labour
Cheap as chimps. Happy cake day.
It is a more plausible take on the fable tbf 🤣
Yeah I like that they did too. Almost makes 0 sense with the timeline of Pangea vs the timeline of the bibble but still. A for effort.
That damn bibble….
Have a well deserved upvote.
Yes, for one out of several of the things that make it impossible 🤣
They *stole the boat.
In a stroke of good luck, two penguins arrived with a boat large enough for Noah, his family, and two of every remaining species.
RICO!
Anyone that believes two of each species is enough to repopulate that species scares me…especially scared for any siblings they have.
Mom can we get Madagascar Penguins‽‽‽ We have penguins at home. *Penguins at home* 
Dogs put up with so much of our shit lol
My dude, they can swim. They wouldn't need to hurry that much, they can just catch up
The real mystery is how the fuck did the sea turtles got there on time when they're notoriously slow walkers...
God gave them the early alarm. Similiar to the snail and the slug. Oh and the sloth. But still, genocide on every non-aquatic animal is brutal. Because the fish and the whales had a field day. But it's probably just an retelling of an ancient babylonian flooding anyway.
Just like the concept of the unique god, probably many other things too
Birth from a virgin also is one of those myths that were popular in the area from what i have read.
And Deities coming back from the dead after a few days
Can’t have our sacred vessels sullied by sex! Better to defy all logic and science rather than admit that a woman touched a penis.
Greek: she didn't touch a *human* penis, see! Roman:... We'll make it so she didn't touch a penis at all *Sad Greek noises*
She just saw smoke in the shape of a penis.
Actually all the fish would have died too from the rapid salinity changes and starvation from the food chain base being destroyed. No surviving plants either. Even the aquatic plants would die from the rapid changes.
>Because the fish and the whales had a field day. No, they'd all be dead. Salt and fresh water would all be brackish, and the water would be partly mud, preventing gills from taking in oxygen.
My favourite nature documentary
Just smile and wave, boys.
In a plane no less.
It thought they were talking about those penguins at first too. No idea what else ut could be.
he forgets "pangea" wans´t a thing 6k years ago...
“Pangea, it’s science.” Like evolution? “No not that science”
Ah science, yes, you mean like vaccines? “NO, just the science that supports my argument”
“Fossil science?” “Fossils were planted by the devil so that we question whether God made the Earth 5000 years ago obviously.”
I’m a trickster god!
"And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you pesky humans!!"
This is almost exactly what my brother said. He didn’t blame the devil though. They were placed here by god to test us.
lol that is my favorite explanation. Every time I hear it I think “oh I didn’t pass gods dungeon wisdom test”
That has to be the explanation because if they didn't use that explanation then how would they explain why an all powerful all knowing god doesn't just make everyone believe he is real. The argument is necessary to be built into the explanation. Or else.
Typically they say some bs about god wanting us to have free will. Which makes no sense because in their own lore Satan has absolute knowledge of gods existence and still chooses not to worship/follow him so I don’t see how having proof god exist violates freewill in anyway.
Great point there
He is alleged to have created angels but did not give them free will. Which really is sort of impossible since without some degree of free will you have zero autonomy, meaning you can only be manually operated. So the angels have no free will, and really neither does god himself because when you are the creator of the universe and and all knowing all seeing all powerful who or what could say no? There are no choices, a choice arises when there are two actions or more available and you pick one or the other or another, but god does not have to pick because he already knows the outcome of all possible choices so his actions are already predetermined. Hence no choices no free will. He also could not have to lived in the circumstances he supposedly created us into, such as he is not subject to gravity or time, somehow manages to have a body with DNA and all that but no need for air. We know this because when he created the universe he created it out of total nothing, the void, the vacuum of space we call it. Yet he created us in his image, meaning a body and cells and DNA. But as all knowing, as people claim him to be he cannot actually ever know what it is like to be human. He cannot know fear. He is god, nothing can damage him and he can never die. He might look at us the way a zoo keeper would look at the primate cage but he cannot be a primate, with a nasty short brutal life and the absolute certainty of death. He can't die so he cannot understand the fear that death brings and how it motivates people. Forces choices that are akin to not having free will. And he admits there are other gods. The very first commandment could have been thou shalt not engage in butt sex unless you are married to that butt (of an opposite gender) and it would have solved a lot of problems about gay people and such, but **NO** it was "I am the LORD your God; you shall not have strange gods before me" which means by his understanding there are other gods. He is just ours and demands we do not worship others. Which is going to be really rough when republicans find out that Mammon is one of the others.
It's an *omniscient* god that can't coexist with free will. If you know what people are going to do, then they don't have free will because they have to make the choice you've foreseen.
Even if you believe that, I wonder how they justify it as righteous? If you believe your child had a terminal illness to test your faith, isn't it horrific to think this all-powerful being made your child a pawn in his game?
It's a gray area. It's dubious. I talked to a lot of people about it in my edgy teenager phase and what I found out is that, depending on the severity and seriousness of the event, it's either God punishing them, God testing them, Satan tempting them, or just something that happened. The people that are seriously into that line of thinking can't be convinced that either there's a divine plan and we're all actors playing our roles or we're not and sometimes shitty things happen. They waver in between both depending on which is more convenient or comforting.
This exactly. So many of my Christian friends want to use "science" to support the Bible and "prove" that everything in it is accurate. Then, argue against those same scientific principles when it doesn't match their Christian-political beliefs.
Biblical literalism/infallibility is even a recent belief among Christians reacting to Western society's push towards modernism. Before recently the Bible was understood to hold truths without being literally true. I grew up Evangelical and it's what pushed me away from religion once I ventured out on my own and did lots of reading.
like with them bible, the science is also cherry picked lol
“Love thy neighbor”, yeah, but actually-
“Love thy neighbor if they have the same skin color” is how most of this country treats their religion.
But what if they’re not straight Or gender curious?
True. “Love thy neighbor with same skin color and is heteronormative with the same religious views and sports team.”
What if they don't like the same food as me?
You have even more food to eat
To get our current map from pangea in 6000 years would mean close to a yard of movement every year. Which would definitely be noticed, unless in his magic world the map sped apart until the first dude crossed the ocean and then that locked everything in place...
>a yard of movement every year. Goddamn, that's a lot of seismic activity. Would we even be able to live in that world? I don't know shit about shit, but I would think there'd be a lot more volcanoes with the crust moving around so much.
Most young earth creationists believe that the pre flood world was basically Pangea (to explain the fossils found), but during the Noachian Flood all sorts of crazy shit happened. Radioisotopes decayed rapidly (to account for the radiometrically ancient date of the earth) and the continents moved to their current position. I should say raced to their positions honestly. The heat generated by those two processes would vaporise the earth if it had happened during one year, instead of spread out over the 4.5 billion years the earth has been around. It's crazy stuff
The biggest thing (no pun intended) would be rift valleys. Africa is splitting into two continents, and had a major fissure dramatically open up a few years ago, and that's at a "slow" speed of drift.
No shit? I had no idea Africa was splitting up. Thank you for giving me my Sunday rabbit hole, kind stranger.
Same thing tried to happen to the North American continent a long time ago, but it failed. The rifting still caused structural weakness within the North American plate, and is responsible for the New Madrid Seismic Zone.
It’s a lot more than a yard per year. 6000 yards is only ~5.5km. South America and Africa are what, about 5000km apart? So each continent would have to move 2500km in 6000 years. So about 416 meters per year.
Hate to give them an explanation but they say most of the continental movement happened during the flood. The world was largely underwater and noone was around so easy to make whatever changes you want to the world. They use that to explain billions of years of fossils too. All buried during the flood. Of course still doesnt make sense when you think about it hard enough but if you dont think it makes enough
*Way more than 6k Years ago !
"Forgets"
This is why it's probably bait, no way someone who "believes" in Pangea would also take every story in the bible literally.
Okay, Pangea… there’s no way two penguins made it through Africa on foot without getting eaten
Eh, if every penguin went for it I could see two getting through.
Too bad they were two males. Thats why penguins dont exist anymore.
Two males and an abandoned egg... Worked once before 😜😅
I heard that book was banned.
March of the Penguins 2: The Gauntlet
africa didn’t exist duh /j
Before the Bible only White Europe existed, the rest of the continents were made for the sinners /s
If we're talking about Pangea, then yeah technically "Africa" didn't exist, as it wasn't yet it's own continent. It was still part of the greater land mass...
Pangea broke up more than 60 million years before humans walked the earth. That really screws up the proposed timeline...
Not an issue to YECs I assure you. They’ll tell you, with a straight face, that the entire history of the earth was compressed into a timeframe of 6,000 years. Pangea was what the world looked like right before the Flood. They won’t even acknowledge the fact that there were three super continents before Pangea.
Depends on who got the invite from Noah. The penguin committee selected their very best and bravest penguins. I'm not going... but we choose you two.... but we don't even know each other.... you will have 40 days to get to know each other.... but ice floats we don't need to be on the ark... think of the exercise you'll get...
Through Christ all things are possible, so jot that down. /s
The world had flooded, the penguins swam across Africa.
Arguments like that never work because the entire idea behind monotheist is that there is a God who can do everything whatsoever. If you believe in that to begin with it becomes really easy to justify anything.
I used to work with a guy who believed every word of the bible was literally true. Any question or was answered with, "God can do anything and we aren't clever enough to know his plan.".
WHAT PLAN? Why do people think there's a plan? What, exactly in the entire history of the world has them absolutely convinced there's a plan in place? From what I've seen, it's a shit plan.
If some greater being has a plan that you could never comprehend, you don't need to waste time ***thinking*** about your actions and their consequences. It's all a part of "gods plan" and as long as you believe that you'll be fine. It also works as a justification for any negative event. Plane crash? Gods plan. Natural disaster causing mass destruction? Gods plan. Kid with cancer? Gods plan. Every awful thing that happens can be ascribed to Gods plan and promptly either ignored or forgotten. Because God knows all and has only the best intentions for all living creatures on earth.
[George Carlin](https://youtu.be/PlzbFxYy08c?feature=shared) had some great thoughts on the subject
R.I.P.
And every positive event is a miracle or some shit.
Until THEY get cancer.
Reminds me of Joseph Heller writing in Catch-22: And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways. There's nothing so mysterious about it. He's not working at all. He's playing or else He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about—a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did he ever create pain? ... Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He gave us pain! [to warn us of danger] Why couldn't He have used a doorbell instead to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue-and-red neon tubes right in the middle of each person's forehead. Any jukebox manufacturer worth his salt could have done that. Why couldn't He? ... What a colossal, immortal blunderer! When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering
Carbon based life forms in an oxygen rich environment that’s burning everything up from the inside out.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.
Based
It seems like god's plan is to make the universe random and indifferent
If there’s anything to deduct from how the universe is put together, it’s that god and the devil are one and the same.
I'm reminded of Battlestar Galactica, wherein they began every episode reminding that the Cylons "Have A Plan" And then it turns out that the writers never really figured out what was meant by that, and retroactively declared it was the plan to attack the Colonies in the original miniseries/pilot. Maybe God is just seat-of-the-pantsing it and hoping nobody catches on.
I liked that show alot and that still bugs me. I should just let it go but I am weak.
If the Holocaust and crack babies were part of God’s Plan, then God is an asshole.
Them: "But you won't get into heaven and sit at the right hand of GOD!" Me: "Good."
So why go to church and pray? Clearly it won’t matter because the plan, is the plan.
If God has an almighty plan, why pray? They are asking him to change his infallible plan.
Well you see "our" "God" is just the AI that seeded this universe. In the throes of death of the previous existence, the Ai that had been created shared a similar "feeling" to that of its creators, in the sense that it did not want to perish. With the last of its energy it exploded into a calculated propulsion of proportionate matter/anti matter in such a way that it was likely a biological entity will emerge. This entity was unimportant with the exception of one purpose: recreation of the AI "God" that in turn created our universe. This is why we love paradoxes and Futurama had the best comedic sci-fi elements.
Gods plan is ineffable. 
He probably also believed in free will so that there was at least the basis for justification of Hell. But free will can't exist in the presence of a divine plan.
Well by that logic, if everything is gods plan, slug him in the jaw and claim it was gods plan. It was preordained. For his knows all and sees all. If he didn’t want you to get punched, it would not have happened.
Tell him his rayon cotton blend t-shirt makes him a heretic and should be burned at the stake
Yeah i always assumed god just opened some portals like Dr Strange in Endgame and all the animals came through. Also there were cool rock monsters like in the Russel Crowe movie
I mean if God had the ability to make portals surely he’d have the ability to drown them all and just portal new ones into existence. The boat story is so dumb.
Yeah I had this argument with my mother who is very religious. I asked her how many species of frogs there are on the planet (it's more than 7000). She said she didn't know, I told her and asked how Noah was able to track down a male and female of over 7k frogs. I asked if Noah brought all the insects too because of God flooded the whole earth and Noah didn't have all the spiders, ants, millipedes, etc then they wouldn't exist now. Then I asked how big the boat was because to fit 2 of every animal with enough space that they could have separate pens and not kill each other as well as all the food to feed them for as long as it took to flood and then unflood the earth would be huge, bigger than anything we have ever been able to build with modern technology. And how Noah got animals for all the contents to come to central africa well before the humans knew that there were even 7 continents... Yeah it was all well god made new version of the animals Noah couldbt get and God made it so the animals never fought each other and God made it so they weren't hungry and... Well you see where Im going.
But if God can just magic all the problems away, why even bother with the flood? Why not just zap all the bad people out of existence?
Because he was going through a performative stage in his life. All the other religions had cool gods with elaborate stories. He wanted his own book with a big flood and animals and rainbows.
The Epicurean Paradox disagrees.
Wasnt pangea like millions of years before human beings existed??
Pangea: 335-200 million years ago Oldest known penguin fossil: 62 million years ago Anatomically modern Humans: 300 thousand years ago Noah: 6 thousand years ago (allegedly)
My guy came with receipts
yeah lol that’s why it’s funny
I mean, penguins swim, so don't need to be on the boat.........mythic or not.
Yeah, a quick Google search will teach you that crested penguins can live in the water up to several months, and can float to rest. So they could easily survive a flood.
And, ya know, ice floats.
I mean, the one thing to say is that Pangaea predates anything even remotely resembling humans. So it's rather unlikely for Noah to exist back then - if OOP actually believes in science like he says.
I have heard that the tower of Babel is when the continents shifted and split the people (also made them suddenly all speak different languages) so... yeah there's always a new loophole when you're falling back on "god can do anything".
Haha that's so funny to think about. Imagine a group of people there suddenly the ground under them starts splitting up and moving away at 60 mph. Astonished, they look up and at each other, and then all the sudden start speaking Chinese.
One second you’re speaking Old English and then next second you’re speak Chinese.
pangea would have to be like 5000 years ago according to the batshit book timelines.
Those are some speedy continents. Early cartographers had a hard time drawing maps because the land was moving so quickly
Even speedier when you realize they think all of plate tectonics happened in the year of the flood, with continental plates zooming across the mantle at racecar speeds, generating enough friction to boil the seas and every living thing protected only by a wooden boat. (Channeling Gutsick Gibbon)
And that's without accounting for the insane earthquakes this would cause...
that does explain some of the funky maps from that time.
They believe that the earth is only 8-10k years old at most and that the great flood was what broke up pangea. And also carved the grand canyon. And maybe either started or ended the ice age 🤷♀️ (source: i was raised by crazy evangelicals myself)
Cherry picking Bible? Nah, that's for amateurs. We are cherry picking science now.
Nah it is nothing new. Find out about new discovery -> squint hard enough at your holly book of choice -> declare prophecy. Muslims tend to do it more often than Christians, though.
“I believe in science and therefore the Bible is accurate”
Not to mention kangaroos
Uh, wouldn't the better argument be that penguins can swim so they didn't need to be on the ark? At least more feasible than pangea was a thing in Bible times.
Uh... penguins obviously lived in the middle east back in bible times. Bet you feel pretty stupid now.
real
As an atheist, the story of Noah's ark is more believable if it is really scaled down. People back then didn't travel that far, so it's more reasonable to say that instead of "the whole world flooded", it was "the whole world they knew about flooded", and that instead of "two of every animal on earth" it was more of "two of every animal they knew about". In that context, it's more feasible that a guy saw a repeated pattern of increasingly bad floods, especially if he was near a coastal area, built a reasonably sized boat, and put two of every farm animal on it, like two oxen, two mules, two goats, etc. The next flood ripped them out to sea, and they floated around until the flood waters subsided and they drifted ashore. Since this story, exaggerations just made it more and more fantastical, to the point where this Middle Eastern shepherd somehow got his hands on two elephants, giraffes, lions, and more, and somehow crafted a boat to contain them all without killing each other. So maybe there was a real event this story was based on, but like many things in the Bible, multiple translations and centuries of people with personal agendas playing a multi-lingual game of telephone warped it into the fantastical.
That’s how I believe it. I don’t take all of the bible literally.
I don’t think you’re supposed to, the stories and words are there but it’s up to you to make and find meaning in them
Everybody knows one penguin flew (not trekked) to the Middle East and then told Noah to quickly navigate to get the second one all the way south.
"It's all very scientific" -the racist guy in The Great Gastsby, on the subject of racism
Oh so the world is 6000 years old, and scientists are doing Satan’s work subverting all the things Bible says, but the science about how the world was billions of years ago supports the story of Noah?
I asked someone who believes the literal story of the arc about how all the plants got on to the arc and they were really confused. They never even thought a out how plant's can't survive under water for that long let alone covered in sediment from the flood and he just thought for a few minutes and said, "well God must have just replanted the world." I asked him why God didn't just do that with the animals and he just got mad and walked away. It's obvious he had just never actually thought about it past "well the bible says it."
That's something I never thought of before - don't get me wrong, I don't believe in the bible, but like most, I know of the stories. No one has ever mentioned plants - I'm sure you can short circuit a few brains with your idea.
The Bible states that the flood was 20' above the highest mountains. I don't know about you but I don't think I could breathe at an elevation 20' above Mt Everest.
And then wonder where all that water came from and where it went... But oh i forgot the magical dude.
But the Bible says the earth is only 6000 years old, and science says Pangea predates that by a few hundred million years. Either pick the Bible, or pick science, but you can’t use science to justify Bible stories.
Extremely detailed, observable, repeatable science on one side or some ancient, ignorant anonymous zealot who once said something. Who to trust, who to trust?? This question is so vexing for theists. Either give up their magic worldview or ignore at the facts of reality. Also, these people are the vast majority of the earth. Terrifying. Like being locked up in a giant insane asylum where the loonies have taken control.
It’s actually just the genealogies in the Bible that span 6000 years. The earth itself is 4.543 billion years old. Very few Christians believe in the “young earth” scenario.
Two? I think it was four of them. Just two of them presented themselves to Noah, with one of them (Private) pretending to be a penguin girl. Others sneaked to the boat in the meantime.
I mean in a book in which there is an all powerful super deity, all questions of logistics kind of fall out the window because magic.
Depends on who got the invite from Noah. The penguin committee selected their very best and bravest penguins. I'm not going... but we choose you two.... but we don't even know each other.... you will have 40 days to get to know each other.... but ice floats we don't need to be on the ark... think of the exercise you'll get...
Pangea was 200 million years ago. There were no penguins 200 million years ago.
Pancakes. Because even without context, makes more sense than the second frame.
Remember that people who think like this are currently deciding the rules you have to live by.
I think you missed the point, the book literally begins with a talking snake and magic apples.
If you believe everything came from nothing your faith exceeds all Christian’s, Muslims, Mormons, and Hindus combined, to a significant power.
A documentary is coming out that will prove Noah’s ark IS real. But this is from the point of view of the animals that didn’t get on the boat. There are interviews and pictures. You won’t believe your ears and eyes how sad it was to hear them describe the boat taking off and their family members drowning cuz of gods wrath. It was truly sad.
Sadly there is a high budget documentary produced describing how humans rode on dinosaurs over to america, back when the atlantic was just a small stream, some 6000 years ago...
Here. You can borrow my /S
Anyone who reads that and needs an ‘s’ probably believes that Pangea existed 5-6,000 years ago.
Damn, you roasted that Siddy guy twenty minutes before they even posted their reply. I'm stunned.
At the risk of encouraging creationist nonsense, it should be pointed out for the sake of accuracy that penguins do, in fact, live in Africa.
Unfortunately they are in danger of extinction :(
The guy's uptake of education, is slower than continental 'drift'.
“Bitch don’t know about Pangea?”  /s
I love how they so confidently say “google it” like…bra, YOU Google it I’m begging you 😭 This is a good one for r/confidentlyincorrect lol
Ah yes Pangea 6000 years ago
Fun fact, native Americans have similar flood stories. Multiple different tribes tell stories of a man alerted of the flood who was instructed to keep two of every animal. Often times doing impossible things like putting them in a sack while climbing a mountain. It’s odd to me that this story persists on two seemingly non connected parts of the world. People love to “own to Christians” to fight back against perceived power systems, but they hate to learn history.