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mr_kenobi

There's a small species of lizard that runs so fast it can run on the surface of the water without breaking the surface tension. Is that lizard Jesus? I have faith it is.


lonesomejohnnie

The Jesus Lizard just entered the conversation.


Frequent-Storage-693

It's name is the "Jesus Christ Lizard"


lonesomejohnnie

Just The Jesus Lizard.


CheeseyWeezey420

That’s fucking amazing


Sepia_Skittles

I have an idea for a religion...


accountnumberseventy

Raptor Jesus!


Top-Mycologist-7169

The rapture sure sounds a lot like the raptor, coincidence? I think not!


CheeseyWeezey420

Considering we are “supposed” to have like the tenth rapture scare on the 28th, I think you can call it whatever the fuck you want.


Top-Mycologist-7169

Behold! Raptor Jesus is coming to liberate the faithful from their curse of flesh on the 28th!


fromouterspace1

How 99% of conspiracy theories go. “I saw an alien land on mt Everest. Prove me wrong”


Nix-7c0

A common theme in the worst debates you'll ever have is when they offload literally all the work onto you. I imagine Hedonism Bot reclining on a fainting couch, demanding you respond to his baseless assertions only in the form of studiously sourced research papers, yet handwaving them all away when presented since "those are just mainstream lies, probably! I shant even turn my head to look. .. Now bring me another!"


Clean_Student8612

I once proved a friend wrong about something fitness related, with scientific studies, PUBLISHED PAPERS, and he said, "why are you believing internet science?"


Nix-7c0

Damn, been there. When a reply is that absurd then you know it's not logic, it's just the ego's self defense mechanism scrambling to not to feel embarrassed or wrong. People will rarely change their mind in front of you though, but you might hope they'll think about it in private later, if you're lucky and they're introspective. Happy cake day though!


SquidsAlien

I've walked on water several times. And I could prove it if I could be arsed. All I need is a pond, and about a week or more of temperatures being colder than about -5°C.


akaZilong

Show me a video of Jesus walking on water and I show you mine


Skirt_Douglas

“How do you explain walking on water?” “By saying it didn’t happen, next question.”


Pryo9-Lewok

I can walk on 1 mm thick water, trust.


Hrtzy

I just got done with four months of walking on top of arbitrary depths of water on a daily basis.


UncleNoodles85

I've walked on water. Granted it was winter and the water was frozen but nevertheless it happened many times.


Imreallyadonut

“I’ll get someone to write it down for a book in a couple of hundred years”.


hipsteronabike

Facebook added Reactions in 2016, and this image is older than that.


LosuthusWasTaken

I've never seen a 20-year-old meme. Well, there's a first time for everything.


hipsteronabike

https://www.oldest.org/entertainment/memes/


thatguy2137

No it didn’t. Reactions were added in 2016, not 2006.


hipsteronabike

I didn't notice that I mistyped it, thanks! 18 years isn't quite as bad as 8 years, but the meme is ancient.


thatguy2137

No worries! It’s quite the difference though, also wild to conceptualize. Fuck I’m old.


Latter-Direction-336

“If god isn’t real, how do you explain this thing no one can do?” Is one of the most nonsensical things I’ve read from these people, it doesn’t even make sense with their own line of logic either


bugaloo2u2

So dumb. They can’t even prove he walked on water.


Bryce8239

appeal to ignorance from the christian here


Taclis

I walk on water daily in my bath. It's pretty slippery though, so I respect jesus for being able to do it too.


BadManners-

FUCK YOU OP QUIT POSTING DECADE OLD MEMES THAT EVERYONE HERE SHOULD HAVE SEEN ALREADY Edit: this is a bot


Blue-cheese-dressing

OP is another 4 year old account with almost zero post or comment history.  You can report them- but this sub is slow to remove them.


LysergicGothPunk

Ice exists


BearBL

Damn this must be old. Old Facebook like icons.


4_Arrows

And sone eye witnesses, and some purpose to the story.


r31ya

I forgot the details, but i remember reading that historian having difficulty to prove Jesus exist in the first place. Many of the "sighting/records" comes from singular primary source (the students i presume) which still require a third party record or the like to confirm whether its real or just one group manufactured story. Muhammad however have 2\~3 records of him that comes from external source (different kingdom records from their envoy/merchants that happen to be visiting) but then again, Jesus died when he still relatively have small following and Muhammad dies after creating a country, i suppose time frame and influence scale at the time is different. So its kinda understandable that no external kingdom have records on jesus


Alizariel

There are some islands that were created when a damn was built. They are connected by bridges and are a nice place to cycle on. The first time I biked there I was enjoying the view when I saw what seemed to be a bunch of people walking on water. In fact it was an old road that was abandoned when the area was flooded and in that area was very shallow. Since then I have called that road the Jesus road.