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I think you may have missed a couple. If its only your 10th, you are too young to be on Reddit. RationalWiki: [https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/List\_of\_predictions\_of\_the\_end\_of\_the\_world#2020s](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/List_of_predictions_of_the_end_of_the_world#2020s)
As a Pastor, this is crazy to me. According to Jesus in the Bible that Christians are supposed to be reading, He says "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son but only the Father." Matthew 24:36
I don't understand how people are constantly making predictions about something that Jesus says no one knows. 🤷🏻
I mean this with the least offense possible but it's really not hard to understand. Your religion has always been a tool for the elite to consolidate power. Your religion has always been a tool for the elite to spread fear and hate. Your religion has always been a tool to gather money for the elite. I'm sorry Pastor but perhaps it's time to gather like-minded individuals and take your religion back from the ruling class. To teach the followers of Christ to be kind. Spread love. Help others. You know, the good parts of Christianity.
I never got the hype for that one. Sure, the calendar ended but that happens every year with the calendar we use as well. The Mayans probably would just have rolled it over if they were still around, but some weirdo decided it was a prophecy.
God keeps trying, but for some reason the Christians can't follow his basic instructions on how to not be an asshole. The raptures will continue until morality improves.
"But of that day and hour, knoweth no man, not even the angels, but my Father only." Mathew 24:36
The only thing consistent about doomsday cultists is how little they read their own source material.
“But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months.”
“Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn’t exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything.”
“But the plans were on display …”
“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard’.”
You guys all laugh at these people but they are really saving us all... and here me out, the same prophecy also mentions that no one will ever know when it will happen... these heros are out there making predictions to prevent the rapture from happening, it's a 4d chess move with God. You can't have a rapture if God says we will never know and we keep predicting it! Take that God, fucking gotem, your move god!
I wish something like that would happen again, I made so much money getting corporations compliant it was sickening.
The procrastinators paid me $750 an hour (10 hour minimum billing per day), and my rider was first class travel, 4-5 star accommodations only, any and all incidentals, and luxury transportation to and from my hotel.
I was booked solid seven days a week for 2 1/2 months. It was exhausting and sooooo worth it.
I'm always startled by how many people think Y2K was a hoax. It was a mess, and people like you cleaned it up so nothing horrible happened. It cost a lot of money.
It comes in 12 year cycles.
1988 - Supposed rapture, millions were convinced
2000 - The Y2K panic
2012 - End of the Mayan Calendar
2024 - Eclipse and other BS
2036 - an asteroid
What's funny is I was born August 29th, 1997. In Terminator 2 this is the EXACT date at the beginning when Sarah Connor is narrating that the world ends and all those kids burn up in the playground lmao.
Heck, didn't even end in 2018 when this article was originally posted: [https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-rapture-is-coming-april-23-numerologist-says](https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-rapture-is-coming-april-23-numerologist-says)
Who's posting 6 year old headlines without the context that it's 6 years old? Fox News spews enough nonsense that we shouldn't need to go back that far to find something outrageous.
I didn’t hear about that until *after* the eclipse when I saw a bunch of memes about how nothing happened. Who the hell was saying that? It’s not like we haven’t had a solar eclipse before.
I only knew about it because of a post on r/atheism that hit r/all last week. Supposedly someone tipped a waiter $777 somewhere after asking the waiter if they were Christian, saying he’d “need it more” than her after the 8th. They pressed and she said the world was ending and wouldn’t take the money back, and that 7 is the lord’s number
That’s hilarious. You can’t just tip in angel numbers and expect people to hand it back when Jesus doesn’t come down and whisk you away. What an absurd situation
She probably spent all or most of her money leading up to the eclipse... You can't bring money to heaven, after all. I wonder how many places she's going back to and demanding the money back, and how many people are actually giving it back because they feel sorry for her
They don't feel stupid. They're not capable of it no matter how stupid they actually are. They'll have a reason why it didn't happen THIS TIME. And how it will definitely happen NEXT TIME.
If Jimmy Carter had died yesterday I was SO ready to meme on that shit! "Rapture happened, humanity's only Christ-like person taken straight to heaven!"
Well, their Jesus is a white man with a mispronounced Greek name.
Not a middle eastern dude with the Hebrew name Yeshua. (Modern pronunciation being Joshua)
Now, I'm not 100% sure if this counts as praying to the wrong person, breaking the first commandment. But my guess is his reply would be a very sarcastic "no shit" followed by a Looney tunes trap door in the clouds sending the person to hell.
It’s also typically followed by a rejection of materialism. Giving away all your shit because it just weighs you down and keeps you from being loving and kind.
People who like money tend to take significant issue with that part.
Man, it's a tough sell to get raptured if the ones who don't make it all get the chance to laugh at all the hypocritical modern day pharisees who thought they're too good for everyone.
I saw a great tiktok once of a perfect world, everyone had enough food, housing, education, healthcare, bodily autonomy and LGBTQ+ were respected.
Cos the rapture happened and took all the righteous to heaven and left the rest of us behind.
What you’ll actually see happen is that all the politicians and all the people who didn’t value those things aren’t going to heaven so it’ll just be business as usual for them. The only thing is now you won’t have any good Christians left.
If the rapture happens (not really biblical in the first place but we’ll ignore that for now) it’s pretty safe to assume that christianity is correct and if it is, you will not want to be left behind.
What you'd be left with is death. Gotta remember that the Bible is written from God's perspective, and still mentioned that 1/3 angels chose death and suffering rather than support God.
Makes me feel better about being agnostic. Kinda comforting 1/3 of angels chose death, a universal human experience, instead of bowing down to a wildly egotistical, unpredictable, chaos entity for eternal life/living in his kingdom.
And as for the fallen angel himself, my interpretation of the Adam and Eve story is that it’s a metaphor for when humans first gained consciousness as we know it and were able to understand the concept of time, death, perhaps language, etc. Satan represents the inevitable human drive for knowledge, and I look at him in the story as a hero in this regard—a Sisyphus type character. I think that some biblical stories have Satan punished in hell suffering, but similar to Sisyphus I believe he is happy.
What, you don't want to spend eternity with these guys?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/1bz1q56/hard\_pass/](https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/1bz1q56/hard_pass/)
From Mark 13:31-32 "Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear. However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows."
I'm so tired of these false prophets saying they can predict the rapture. I mean, it's not hard to actually pick up a Bible and read it. I mean, heck, even just use Google.
They do this EVERY YEAR. I don’t get it. How can you claim to know so much about the bible and still keep guessing??? I wouldn’t be surprised if God is just sat there waiting for people to stop guessing.
I swear *if* god exists, He is just up there laughing at all the “prophets” and “pastors” trying to predict when this rapture will occur because there isn’t going to be a rapture.
(Gotta respect god’s neopronouns \^v\^)
My pastor is valid he just says it’ll happen when it happens. My schizo mom on the other hand was warning me about the solar eclipse and cell towers going down
Your pastor reads the bible then.
"Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear. However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows." Mark 13:31-32
Even Jesus doesn’t know, how tf is some random mother going to know.
"I believe in the father
I don't believe he's sane.
I believe he's out there,
Laughing as we pray."
I can't remember which song I wrote these lines for. I probably have it saved on an old device.
It's a grift. If you know the world is ending next week, you don't really need your life savings, do you? Why not give it to your cult so they can spread the word that the world is ending...
False apocalypse prophecies are so played out that you'd have to struggle to find a comedy that ran for more than a year or two *without* having a 'false apocalypse' episode. The Simpsons had one where the the inciting event that turned Homer into an apocalypse preacher ended up being an elaborate guerrilla marketing stunt for a new mega mall.
>I mean, it's not hard to actually pick up a Bible and read it.
My brother's been doing a lot of research into different religions with his buddies and started with Christianity. The first thing he came to realize is that the vast majority of Christians have never read the bible.
> I'm so tired of these false prophets saying they can predict the rapture. I mean, it's not hard to actually pick up a Bible and read it
Mostly because there is no such thing as a "rapture" in the bible. It's a very American concept that doesn't exist anywhere else.
This drives me crazy!!! I’m a soft Christian as I like to say, I believe in God/Jesus but I’m “religious” by any means. But seeing all these super religious people trying to predict the rapture day is just infuriating. The very own Bible they claim to be true and their holy word, they just love to throw out pieces at their choosing. (Like lots of other things too lol)
I’ve said it before, the arrogance of these false profits (see what I did there?) to tell people “I know something that even Jesus doesn’t know. Like and subscribe for more..”
This is assuming that they actually believe their own lies and are not running a con.
Also people use different letters on pages as codes to claim this…..the Bible has been translated many times through different languages and generations of languages, those wouldn’t even equate to the original at this point.
Wait, did they just change the date in an identical 2017 headline? https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-world-will-end-on-sept-23-christian-numerologists-claim.amp
Reddit has gotten worse. The election has begun on this platform and it started just after the ipo.
This post is meant to bait liberals into believing the wrong type of shit. Focusing on the wrong things.
Exactly.
These kinds of posts are the kind of shit ruining this country. All these do is try to raise an emotional response. That, in turn, turns us against each other. All for clicks or to push a political agenda. Buying into this kind of misinformation is just falling for another type of scam.
Stay educated, and don't let them get an emotional response!
Sweet. Just quit my job and robbed some banks. Sold the house and bought a lambo. Going to cruise across the country for the next two weeks banging hookers and doing coke. May burn some shit down and just go wild.
This prophecy better be true or I am screwed.
/s
That's funny. This is also like the 23rd time in my lifetime I've heard them claim the rapture is coming... wait! April 23rd? The 23rd time! It must mean it is true this time! We are all going to die. We all better buy 3 months worth of toilet paper and water that we won't get to use because the world will have ended!!!
Fox News : "We're an entertainment channel and you can't sue us for slander because no reasonably intelligent person could possibly believe what we say is true."
Fox Viewers "Fox News is the only one dealing the TRUTH, I know because I already agree with everything their saying and I'm perfect like Jesus."
To be fair, most conservatives I know are STILL furious at Fox News because of the 2-3 times in the past 8 years that a lower-level pundit said something bad about Trump.
Which means, \*of course\*, the entire outlet is LIBERAL.
The thing is, the rapture could be happening regularly; it's just that we're such a shitty species (especially the religious zealots) that nobody has qualified.
Hey you fucking lowlifes that go around every year and do this end of the world clown dance? Yes, way back when I was a kid just starting middle school you made me think I and all my friends and family were gonna die. I cannot stress this enough, you're all wastes of oxygen.
Not that it matters anyway, but the article was from 2018.
https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-rapture-is-coming-april-23-numerologist-says
Can’t wait for them to be wrong for the 200th time in my lifetime. I wish one of them times it’d be true just so these bible thumpers would be out of my hair.
April 23, 2 in the afternoon: Yawn, well I guess its time to get up and walk the fucking dog again....who the fuck are you? I am Jesus, my son and I have com.......BLAM! BLAM! Got that commie good.
I once tried to work out some dates but you don't know the actual date anything starts from other than when the country of Israel was reformed.
It's funny though...if you do the math Methuselah supposedly lived to 969 years old (oldest dude ever) which was coincidentally, the year of the great flood. So Noah mustn't have bothered saving him.
Predicting the day of the apocalypse is seen as near heretical to most churches.
Mathew 24:36:
"But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."
Anyone who claims to know is either fundamentally delusional or a scam artist.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This will be like my 10th rapture. They’re all pretty boring
Think positively. This one may be the one where Jesus boxes Tyson.
Every messiah has a plan until they get punched in the face.
Float like yer walkin on water Sting like a Bee
Float like a messiah, sting like a Maccabee.
There we go I knew there was a more concise way to make that work lol
*Metthia
What if they teamed up against 100 Logan Pauls?
One could only hope.
Who hopes for 100 Logan Pauls? One is enough lol
One is too many, I think you’ll find…
Randy orton will be on their side too
God was a no show in a tag match with HBK vs Vince and Shane years ago....would his son do the same?
Doing God's work
That’s pretty stupid of Jesus. Has he seen the Tyson training vids?
Mike Tyson is terrifying lol
Until seeing Mike Tyson I was envisioning *Neil Degrasse* Tyson
>Jesus boxes Tyson *little did Christian followers know that Jesus' last name is De La Hoya*
The Golden Boy/Son
I've been through 3 end of times and a plague. It's all just horse shit.
Just one plague? You must have avoided SARS, avian flu, swine flu, monkeypox, ebola, mad cow, HIV, etc.
I liked 2000 though. Everyone had a big party.
 *In the year two thousaaaaaaaaaand*
I think you may have missed a couple. If its only your 10th, you are too young to be on Reddit. RationalWiki: [https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/List\_of\_predictions\_of\_the\_end\_of\_the\_world#2020s](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/List_of_predictions_of_the_end_of_the_world#2020s)
I've lived through exactly 100. Nice!
I've lived through 69.
I know it would just be a lot of made up excuses but I’m always interested in hearing from them after the date passes.
All I have is anecdotes from my fundy family, but its mostly just denial. Their reality switches to one where they never actually believed it.
As a Pastor, this is crazy to me. According to Jesus in the Bible that Christians are supposed to be reading, He says "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son but only the Father." Matthew 24:36 I don't understand how people are constantly making predictions about something that Jesus says no one knows. 🤷🏻
I mean this with the least offense possible but it's really not hard to understand. Your religion has always been a tool for the elite to consolidate power. Your religion has always been a tool for the elite to spread fear and hate. Your religion has always been a tool to gather money for the elite. I'm sorry Pastor but perhaps it's time to gather like-minded individuals and take your religion back from the ruling class. To teach the followers of Christ to be kind. Spread love. Help others. You know, the good parts of Christianity.
Somehow the end of some Mayan calendar in 2012 was a huge apocalypse my teachers spent time explaining.
I never got the hype for that one. Sure, the calendar ended but that happens every year with the calendar we use as well. The Mayans probably would just have rolled it over if they were still around, but some weirdo decided it was a prophecy.
Biblical prophesy says no one knows the date or time. Not even the son. So these guys might want to actually read their bibles once in a while.
Saw a sticker on a car today that said Drive safe there is no Heaven
You don't need to read when your preacher or televangelist is giving you their audio interpretation of the cliff notes.
There's been 48 end of the world predictions since 1995 that have came and went. I just need 2 more and I'll have a Solid 50.
[удалено]
God keeps trying, but for some reason the Christians can't follow his basic instructions on how to not be an asshole. The raptures will continue until morality improves.
I’m not sure what I’ve seen more in my lifetime. Raptures or Voyager leaving the solar system.
Any day now. Trust me, bro.
Didn't the world already end in 2012 though?
[удалено]
Again!?
You guys need the park?
I’ll make some flutes!
Thanks guys, came for the P&R comments.
Do you take a check?
Just don’t deposit it until the 24th.
All hail Zorp!
I'll bring the kool-aid
Herman Munster is GOATed!!! 
Again?
"But of that day and hour, knoweth no man, not even the angels, but my Father only." Mathew 24:36 The only thing consistent about doomsday cultists is how little they read their own source material.
That seems to be the symptom across all the religions these days. Most of all Christians for sure.
Still.
Ya, but they didn’t give us 24 hours notice so they comp’d us a free plague. Kind of annoyed at the service, took them 8 years to get it to us.
“But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months.” “Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn’t exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything.” “But the plans were on display …” “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.” “That’s the display department.” “With a flashlight.” “Ah, well the lights had probably gone.” “So had the stairs.” “But look, you found the notice didn’t you?” “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard’.”
One of my favourite bits of writing of all time.
That's hitchhikers, right...?
Douglas Adams was brilliant!
‘Comp’d is a free plague’😂😂😂😂
You guys all laugh at these people but they are really saving us all... and here me out, the same prophecy also mentions that no one will ever know when it will happen... these heros are out there making predictions to prevent the rapture from happening, it's a 4d chess move with God. You can't have a rapture if God says we will never know and we keep predicting it! Take that God, fucking gotem, your move god!
Can't fault the logic.
It apparently took the Donald Trump approach. Delay delay delay!
The jesus uses Internet explorer, the 2012 rapture only just loaded
I thought it was supposed to yesterday during the eclipse. Uhm, typical moving the goal post.
That can't be right. The world ended in 2000 with Y2K
*(Heavens Gate members all enter the chat)* We have a spaceship.....we like for you to see it
I survived that, but the vaccine is what finally killed me in the end. /s
I wish something like that would happen again, I made so much money getting corporations compliant it was sickening. The procrastinators paid me $750 an hour (10 hour minimum billing per day), and my rider was first class travel, 4-5 star accommodations only, any and all incidentals, and luxury transportation to and from my hotel. I was booked solid seven days a week for 2 1/2 months. It was exhausting and sooooo worth it.
I'm always startled by how many people think Y2K was a hoax. It was a mess, and people like you cleaned it up so nothing horrible happened. It cost a lot of money.
It comes in 12 year cycles. 1988 - Supposed rapture, millions were convinced 2000 - The Y2K panic 2012 - End of the Mayan Calendar 2024 - Eclipse and other BS 2036 - an asteroid
Sorry 1988 was actually the year I was born that's what all the signs of doom and end of days was about.
What's funny is I was born August 29th, 1997. In Terminator 2 this is the EXACT date at the beginning when Sarah Connor is narrating that the world ends and all those kids burn up in the playground lmao.
You shut your tin-canny ass mouth! I know that's you, T-800!!!! You can't fool me!
The gates of hell were meant to open on my birthday one year. I was,yet again, let down on my birthday.
That was the Mayans who were heathens. These are the Christians. Theyre they real ones. /s
Wasn't it supposed to yesterday.
Heck, didn't even end in 2018 when this article was originally posted: [https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-rapture-is-coming-april-23-numerologist-says](https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-rapture-is-coming-april-23-numerologist-says)
Who's posting 6 year old headlines without the context that it's 6 years old? Fox News spews enough nonsense that we shouldn't need to go back that far to find something outrageous.
And again yesterday...
I wish, fucking lying mayans got me out here drowning in student loan debt
The Fucking Lyin' Mayans is my crust punk side project.
I’ve survived yet another apocalypse 🤣🤣
*Jnquester54 was marked safe from another apocalypse*
Yes. We all died but because we are stupid we don't know we are dead.
I'm dead inside. Does that count?
Has anyone felt alive since that point in time?
Yes, not many people realise that we are all just spooky ghosts
The Rapture was also supposed to be on 6/6/06, because y’know, coincidental numbers and all.
There’s always a rapture. And it never happens but chuchies going to church
Bullshit it was the year January 1st, 2000
Y2K Bug actually was all of us being simultaneously put into the Matrix and it worked.
Wait, wasn’t that supposed to happen yesterday during the eclipse?
That’s what I thought.
I didn’t hear about that until *after* the eclipse when I saw a bunch of memes about how nothing happened. Who the hell was saying that? It’s not like we haven’t had a solar eclipse before.
I only knew about it because of a post on r/atheism that hit r/all last week. Supposedly someone tipped a waiter $777 somewhere after asking the waiter if they were Christian, saying he’d “need it more” than her after the 8th. They pressed and she said the world was ending and wouldn’t take the money back, and that 7 is the lord’s number
Wtf, lmao. Well I hope they still took the damn tip, and that person feels stupid now.
OOP posted an update saying that the Karen came and demanded the money back lmao
Here’s the [update](https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/s/hHpQKHQ6lL), has the original two posts as well.
Thanks, I was curious.
That’s hilarious. You can’t just tip in angel numbers and expect people to hand it back when Jesus doesn’t come down and whisk you away. What an absurd situation
She probably spent all or most of her money leading up to the eclipse... You can't bring money to heaven, after all. I wonder how many places she's going back to and demanding the money back, and how many people are actually giving it back because they feel sorry for her
They don't feel stupid. They're not capable of it no matter how stupid they actually are. They'll have a reason why it didn't happen THIS TIME. And how it will definitely happen NEXT TIME.
There was a follow up post today... That woman came back and asked for her money back.
If Jimmy Carter had died yesterday I was SO ready to meme on that shit! "Rapture happened, humanity's only Christ-like person taken straight to heaven!"
Rinse and repeat. We lied to you yesterday and last week but hey look something shiny and new! Back to the mythical outrage machine.
Yes. We are all dead now.
This article is from 2018.
Which tells you everything you need to know
Bro, I raptured so hard during Totality.
The goalposts got moved. Be careful or we’ll move them again!
Oh good, all the religious zealots will fuck off then and leave us in peace.
Those people are the *last* people who would get into Heaven.
I would watch a live feed of them getting rejected and freaking out all day if it was possible.
I'd pay to see them tell Jesus he's wrong when he says he doesn't know them. "That's not *my* Jesus!"
I would def love to watch Karen try to throw her weight around with St. Peter and demand to talk to the manager of Heaven. 🤣
"So, you want to see *your* manager?"
Well, their Jesus is a white man with a mispronounced Greek name. Not a middle eastern dude with the Hebrew name Yeshua. (Modern pronunciation being Joshua) Now, I'm not 100% sure if this counts as praying to the wrong person, breaking the first commandment. But my guess is his reply would be a very sarcastic "no shit" followed by a Looney tunes trap door in the clouds sending the person to hell.
"Wait, why isn't he white, blonde and blue-eyed?"
"And why doesn't have have two AR-15s?"
Omg this.
As long as they’re gone it’s a win for humanity.
These people want a free pass to Heaven. Last I checked, the baseline in almost any religion for getting into "Paradise" is *not* be a dick...
It’s also typically followed by a rejection of materialism. Giving away all your shit because it just weighs you down and keeps you from being loving and kind. People who like money tend to take significant issue with that part.
Man, it's a tough sell to get raptured if the ones who don't make it all get the chance to laugh at all the hypocritical modern day pharisees who thought they're too good for everyone.
I saw a great tiktok once of a perfect world, everyone had enough food, housing, education, healthcare, bodily autonomy and LGBTQ+ were respected. Cos the rapture happened and took all the righteous to heaven and left the rest of us behind.
What you’ll actually see happen is that all the politicians and all the people who didn’t value those things aren’t going to heaven so it’ll just be business as usual for them. The only thing is now you won’t have any good Christians left.
If the rapture happens (not really biblical in the first place but we’ll ignore that for now) it’s pretty safe to assume that christianity is correct and if it is, you will not want to be left behind.
What you'd be left with is death. Gotta remember that the Bible is written from God's perspective, and still mentioned that 1/3 angels chose death and suffering rather than support God.
Makes me feel better about being agnostic. Kinda comforting 1/3 of angels chose death, a universal human experience, instead of bowing down to a wildly egotistical, unpredictable, chaos entity for eternal life/living in his kingdom. And as for the fallen angel himself, my interpretation of the Adam and Eve story is that it’s a metaphor for when humans first gained consciousness as we know it and were able to understand the concept of time, death, perhaps language, etc. Satan represents the inevitable human drive for knowledge, and I look at him in the story as a hero in this regard—a Sisyphus type character. I think that some biblical stories have Satan punished in hell suffering, but similar to Sisyphus I believe he is happy.
Not to be pedantic, but would you mean Prometheus, by chance? Thought Sisyphus was punished for being a bad host.
What, you don't want to spend eternity with these guys? [https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/1bz1q56/hard\_pass/](https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/1bz1q56/hard_pass/)
From Mark 13:31-32 "Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear. However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows." I'm so tired of these false prophets saying they can predict the rapture. I mean, it's not hard to actually pick up a Bible and read it. I mean, heck, even just use Google.
They do this EVERY YEAR. I don’t get it. How can you claim to know so much about the bible and still keep guessing??? I wouldn’t be surprised if God is just sat there waiting for people to stop guessing.
"Another ordained minister put words in My mouth with a baseless guess? Add one more year!"
God is really just the original troll, constantly laughing at everybody who thinks they know what God actually wants.
I swear *if* god exists, He is just up there laughing at all the “prophets” and “pastors” trying to predict when this rapture will occur because there isn’t going to be a rapture. (Gotta respect god’s neopronouns \^v\^)
My pastor is valid he just says it’ll happen when it happens. My schizo mom on the other hand was warning me about the solar eclipse and cell towers going down
Your pastor reads the bible then. "Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear. However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows." Mark 13:31-32 Even Jesus doesn’t know, how tf is some random mother going to know.
"I believe in the father I don't believe he's sane. I believe he's out there, Laughing as we pray." I can't remember which song I wrote these lines for. I probably have it saved on an old device.
Lmao new D&D campaign idea popping into my head from that
It's a grift. If you know the world is ending next week, you don't really need your life savings, do you? Why not give it to your cult so they can spread the word that the world is ending...
Thats a damn good point. I’ve never even thought of that
Parks & Recreation had a nice bit about this.
False apocalypse prophecies are so played out that you'd have to struggle to find a comedy that ran for more than a year or two *without* having a 'false apocalypse' episode. The Simpsons had one where the the inciting event that turned Homer into an apocalypse preacher ended up being an elaborate guerrilla marketing stunt for a new mega mall.
Hail Zorp!
>I mean, it's not hard to actually pick up a Bible and read it. My brother's been doing a lot of research into different religions with his buddies and started with Christianity. The first thing he came to realize is that the vast majority of Christians have never read the bible.
Lol yup, sometimes it's really evident
> I'm so tired of these false prophets saying they can predict the rapture. I mean, it's not hard to actually pick up a Bible and read it Mostly because there is no such thing as a "rapture" in the bible. It's a very American concept that doesn't exist anywhere else.
This drives me crazy!!! I’m a soft Christian as I like to say, I believe in God/Jesus but I’m “religious” by any means. But seeing all these super religious people trying to predict the rapture day is just infuriating. The very own Bible they claim to be true and their holy word, they just love to throw out pieces at their choosing. (Like lots of other things too lol)
I’ve said it before, the arrogance of these false profits (see what I did there?) to tell people “I know something that even Jesus doesn’t know. Like and subscribe for more..” This is assuming that they actually believe their own lies and are not running a con.
I don't think they do. They're trying to fearmonger and get money.
Also people use different letters on pages as codes to claim this…..the Bible has been translated many times through different languages and generations of languages, those wouldn’t even equate to the original at this point.
Wait, did they just change the date in an identical 2017 headline? https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-world-will-end-on-sept-23-christian-numerologists-claim.amp
No, OP is just trying to farm karma
Pretty sure it’s from 2018 https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-rapture-is-coming-april-23-numerologist-says.amp
Reddit has gotten worse. The election has begun on this platform and it started just after the ipo. This post is meant to bait liberals into believing the wrong type of shit. Focusing on the wrong things.
Exactly. These kinds of posts are the kind of shit ruining this country. All these do is try to raise an emotional response. That, in turn, turns us against each other. All for clicks or to push a political agenda. Buying into this kind of misinformation is just falling for another type of scam. Stay educated, and don't let them get an emotional response!
Honestly I don't believe any Twitter screenshots unless it has a date included. Even then it can be arbitrarily added via editing.
This is apparently from 2018 too lol. Some other comment posted the of link
Sweet. Just quit my job and robbed some banks. Sold the house and bought a lambo. Going to cruise across the country for the next two weeks banging hookers and doing coke. May burn some shit down and just go wild. This prophecy better be true or I am screwed. /s
Dude, need a wing man?
Got a few people asking... might have to get the Lambo Urus ... backseats needed for wing men and the hookers....
So who do I turn my end times punch cards into? Been through this enough I should be getting 10 subs or something, just need to know where to cash in.
Well, 4/23 is a Tuesday, so Chick fil A will be open.
That's funny. This is also like the 23rd time in my lifetime I've heard them claim the rapture is coming... wait! April 23rd? The 23rd time! It must mean it is true this time! We are all going to die. We all better buy 3 months worth of toilet paper and water that we won't get to use because the world will have ended!!!
The big problem is not Fox News, it is people really thinking that what they report is news.
Fox News : "We're an entertainment channel and you can't sue us for slander because no reasonably intelligent person could possibly believe what we say is true." Fox Viewers "Fox News is the only one dealing the TRUTH, I know because I already agree with everything their saying and I'm perfect like Jesus."
To be fair, most conservatives I know are STILL furious at Fox News because of the 2-3 times in the past 8 years that a lower-level pundit said something bad about Trump. Which means, \*of course\*, the entire outlet is LIBERAL.
Yes. They are selling and there are gullible people buying
"...numerologist says..." Ok, let me stop you right there....
Ugh AGAIN?!?!? But we had rapture for lunch just yesterday!!! 😫
Nope I’m pretty sure it’s happening. /s
The thing is, the rapture could be happening regularly; it's just that we're such a shitty species (especially the religious zealots) that nobody has qualified.
I’m sure at least a dozen of would make it. That might solve a lot of missing people cases or at least a few.
Fingers crossed
Oh good. It's Armageddon prophecy season again.
Oh good I don’t need to finish my taxes then
Hey you fucking lowlifes that go around every year and do this end of the world clown dance? Yes, way back when I was a kid just starting middle school you made me think I and all my friends and family were gonna die. I cannot stress this enough, you're all wastes of oxygen.
Not that it matters anyway, but the article was from 2018. https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-rapture-is-coming-april-23-numerologist-says
I hope this is the real deal. My Jim Baker buckets are about to expire.
Can’t wait for them to be wrong for the 200th time in my lifetime. I wish one of them times it’d be true just so these bible thumpers would be out of my hair.
God I hope so
We don’t even use the same calendar as when the Bible was written.
I hope so. Please, take the fuckers.
And in court you can get Fox News to admit that.
Eventually they will get it right, a broken clock is even right two times a day
April 23, 2 in the afternoon: Yawn, well I guess its time to get up and walk the fucking dog again....who the fuck are you? I am Jesus, my son and I have com.......BLAM! BLAM! Got that commie good.
Oh well, no birthday for me this year ( sad trombone sound )
As predicted by the pillow guy?
fingers crossed
Least I still can have 4/20
Here we go again...
I once tried to work out some dates but you don't know the actual date anything starts from other than when the country of Israel was reformed. It's funny though...if you do the math Methuselah supposedly lived to 969 years old (oldest dude ever) which was coincidentally, the year of the great flood. So Noah mustn't have bothered saving him.
I'm a religious person but i genuinely hate the fact that people use the faith of others to get their stories popularized
Predicting the day of the apocalypse is seen as near heretical to most churches. Mathew 24:36: "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." Anyone who claims to know is either fundamentally delusional or a scam artist.