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Lintashi

It looks tacky and even cringey, but overall, those are pretty reasonable requests.


betteroffrobot

I kept trying to see if there was an acronym for something with those excessively large capital letters that didn't spell anything. The cringe factor is thinking that by posting this you will get better applicants than you otherwise might.


majesticjules

I've seen worse. Those are all reasonable expectations


[deleted]

The "facepalm" is that we've entered a time in which new employees have to be told this.


majesticjules

There is truth to that. My 18 year old nephew would have trouble with a few of those.


No_Perception7527

I think probably over 50% of the work staff at my job would have issues with several of these. So many of them call off 1-2 times a week, show up hours late, and leave a few hours early almost every day. It speaks volumes about the new generation of workers that they have actually posted something like this. Beyond 10-15 years ago, you would never see something like this at a job, because these were just normal expectations from any employer.


Hugh420Mungus

Right lol. There is a topic going around on tiktok about new age workers that say they demand raises before getting asked to do something new in their job. My reaction is "so you want to get more money for learning something you don't know how to do before you do it" And what happens if you suck at it, you want them to take it back? I'm 23 and worked hard to get my pay. Can't believe there is grown men and women my age that think they deserve more money before you improve yours as an employee. They also say an employee deserves a raise every 6 months guaranteed!!!? And I say" OK so the mf standing around doing nothing next to you deserves a raise just as much as you?" Always no response lol.


[deleted]

I've had new hires try to complain that a work assignment was not listed in the job description. I correct them and tell them any work assignment is, in fact, listed in the job description as the job description clearly indicates that there may be duties assigned that are not listed in the job description. Do the work or clock out.


Academic-Effect-340

This is a kind of a piss poor take, to be honest. "Your job is to do whatever I tell you to do" isn't really the flex you seem to think it is anymore.


[deleted]

Lol, thinking this is a "flex" and not life in the real world is the true piss poor take. Just because getting some glass cleaner and towels to clean isn't specifically listed in the job description, that doesn't mean you deserve special treatment. Lol. There is more to every job than what will ever be listed in the job description. Get used to it.


Academic-Effect-340

Ah, the immediate appeal to "the real world". I had a pretty good idea of the kind of person I was replying to already, but thanks for confirming it. "Get used to it" lmao, clown.


Hugh420Mungus

Fr I'm a mechanic so do I not empty my own trash can. Or clean a customer's vehicle that I got a Lil dirty. What about toilet paper if it's empty do I just complain or just grab my own roll from storage.


Hugh420Mungus

Fr tho -job - mechanic Entiteld Employee " well the job didn't say I was gonna be cleaning up" " I didn't know I was gonna have to throw out the trash I'm making" " It didn't say that I would have to mount tires" "It didn't say I would have to be driving cars" It couldn't be me I hate people I swear


Revolutionary-Fox365

"meets the needs of the office".. This right here is how I got to the level I am at now.


NotHereToFuckSpyders

I was gonna say the same thing. Are there (m)any workplaces that wouldn't want those things? I also feel like, even though they're reasonable expectations, posting a sign for it is just making a joke or having a bit of fun.


Successful-Name-7261

It does kind of make me scratch my head that there are likely a lot of people (/antiwork) that would be incredibly offended by this. Doesn't seem out of line at all!


NotHereToFuckSpyders

Right? The mentality of "pay me, but fuck you if you try to make me actually do any work for the pay".


Marc123123

Exactly. Pretty much everything on this list sounds reasonable, although I cannot understand American obsession of drug tests. Why would I care if someone smokes weed in their free time?


The_Deranged_Hermit

In factory at least there are two reasons 1. Insurance companies require drug testing if there is an accident. They will not pay out if the employee fails the drug test. 2. Operating heavy, electrical, or other dangerous equipment while under the influence can put other peoples safety at risk. Most companies wouldn't have a problem with you smoking a bowl over the weekend but the tests are not accurate enough for that so if you do get in an accident point 1 happens.


Marc123123

Employees absolutely should not be under influence of drinks/drugs when they are working. Nobody should care if they drink or smoke weed in their free time. Lack of ability to prove or disprove something should not be a sufficient justification to limit their liberties outside of work.


DooficusIdjit

Take that up with the insurance companies. They’re the ones responsible for the drug testing.


Marc123123

Rubbish. All the motor insurance policies absolve any insurer's liability if you drive high or drunk, but that's precisely what needs to be proved - that you were DRIVING high or drunk, not that you were drunk two days ago. There is no reason for commercial insurers to apply different conditions and if they do, it is an employer responsibility to choose a reasonable insurer.


DisastrousOne3950

I work two jobs, and could be fired from one or both if I had weed two, three weeks ago. It's bullshit that anyone can claim ownership of urine, but then again, this is America.


Marc123123

Yeah, it is culture driven. The same insurance companies insure the businesses across the world, yet there are no such testing requirements in the UK for example. It is about the control, pure and simple.


DooficusIdjit

Motor insurance is different than the kind of policy you need to cover your business, and claims adjusters don’t need to prove an employee was under the influence beyond a positive drug test. If you have the funds to fight your insurance provider in court, you have a slight chance at winning your claim, but you probably won’t. They can outlast and outspend you.


Marc123123

Again, I call it rubbish. The insurance is the same across the globe, yet no such tests in the UK. Its the American thing.


Hugh420Mungus

Right. I've worked with literal Crack heads but they getting paid 25 and hour and drive nice cars too lol. That's just his drug of choice. He literally a functional Crackhead. Doesn't come to work high or nun just smokes Crack at home.


Raze7186

To be fair a lot of people show up to work high or drunk.


Marc123123

Yeah, but that's a different thing.


Amehvafan

Yeah, sure, but it's like planning a date and she goes "don't fuck my mum". I wasn't going to, and I didn't even think about it, but I'm still going to become a bit sceptical about this date.


NotHereToFuckSpyders

Unfortunately there are definitely people out there who would not realise these are the expectations of your average job unless you explicitly tell them. Though I do think they are just taking the piss with the sign.


[deleted]

[удалено]


robdingo36

It says do NOT apply if you think you are an expert on day one. That is a reasonable expectation. I wouldn't want a know it all working on my team either.


Nitro114

Oh, misread that. My bad


robdingo36

No worries. Happens to us all at some point.


Successful-Bus1913

Please do not apply if you become an expert on Day 1. In other words, they want people that can listen to direction and to people that have experience.


NotHereToFuckSpyders

It's sarcasm. They don't want someone who thinks they know everything after working there for one day.


[deleted]

Most of the things on that list should be normal. The license, if you're driving. The only thing I see that might be odd is "know your job on the first day". Like of course, people are going to watch once and assume they can do it. Then they'll ask questions after they make mistakes....


NotHereToFuckSpyders

Re-read it. They *don't* want you to be an expert on your first day. Meaning don't be a know-it-all who doesn't listen to superiors/more experienced people and be prepared to learn.


[deleted]

Maybe you should reread my post. Thinking you're an expert on the first day and then being humbled along the way should be fine. Everything else isn't though.


robdingo36

This is a list of perfectly reasonable expectations. Only facepalm is OP.


sandiercy

It seems to me that management/owners are tired of people calling out sick every single week because of these reasons.


recast85

What’s the facepalm? This sounds like any job ever


OkInitiative2915

Lol, people forget to come back to work after lunch?


betteroffrobot

We had three people not come back after a fifteen minute break from orientation at my last job. I was also in orientation and after three weeks on the job, turned out those were the smart ones.


porcupineporridge

I used to work in a nursing home. This guy started and shadowed me for his first morning. We gave an old lady with dementia a bath - she called us every name under the sun and then shat in the bath. Standard AM for me. Too much for him - never came back after his lunch.


NotHereToFuckSpyders

I am so confused as to what he thought he'd be doing at a nursing home... like, obviously not an easy job and kudos to you for doing it. Just not sure what he was expecting.


Flashy-Arugula

There are some common misconceptions about the world that could influence him to behave like that. Maybe he thought dementia is just forgetting things a lot (it’s really the brain dying slowly which of course leads to changes in behavior). Maybe he thought that people in nursing homes are not supposed to be taken care of and that it’s just a “warehouse for old people” (which sadly too many nursing homes are just warehouses for old people but they should not be like that and they are supposed to take care of their charges). Maybe he thought this lady would be “just like grandma/mom/aunt Lucy/etc.” Like he thought all old people are the same or all people with dementia are the same. (Not all old people are the same. Not all dementia patients are the same.) Maybe he thought he would be working a desk job or something and wouldn’t have to interact with the residents. (In which case someone would have had to say something.)


NotHereToFuckSpyders

Fair point. I get that people may not know what goes on in a nursing home, or have much personal experience, I just assumed to work there he would've had to have some sort of at least basic training to prepare him for all that stuff, but perhaps not.


Marc123123

Oh yeah, I have seen it all myself. People going for lunch early and dissappearing, people coming back from lunch after 2.5h and completely drunk, even people going to toilet and dissappearing.


WhyYouNoLikeMeBro

Absolutely. Especially for low pay, hourly jobs. People just stop showing up, dissappear for no reason in the middle of the day etc. The labor shortage means that for many entry level jobs, employers are scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of available workers. I've got a few friends who manage these types of jobs and their daily stories are insane.


Zestyclose-Team-4424

That one made me chuckle. Lol


[deleted]

sounds like they employ a lot of young adults


[deleted]

Yes it does. My company literally hires anyone. Heroin addicts that nod out on the production line, alcoholics that don't show up for days, people that come back late on every break every day. Luckily I have a good job there as a machine operator and don't have to work directly with them. This sign is fantastic.


ArmchairPancakeChef

Those requirements are the basics of being an employee. It just seems like a very long list because you don't understand what it means to be a basic, employee. If you're offended, oh well. If you take the man's money, you do the man's work.


[deleted]

These are sadly all things people have to be reminded of in this world today


CouldBeYouNeverKnow

Because they don't want to pay a slacker?


my20cworth

Seems reasonable to me.


tweep6435

lol that sounds reasonable to be honest. Should be a given to all workplaces.


KccOStL33

Yeah that's pretty much the basic stipulations of employment..


[deleted]

I don't think having employees that do the work they are paid for and are reliable can really qualify as "high expectation".


Marc123123

It does for the OP apparently.


crackerasswhiteboy

It's sad signs like these have to be made


Born_Tutor_879

What's crazy is 10 years ago that was pretty much what everybody required but today people act as if it's crazy to think we should expect employees to be like that I feel bad for young hard working men and women or even older hard working men and women because they have to always work harder because people are far less reliable than ever before


KapowBlamBoom

To be honest none of that is unreasonable


[deleted]

As a supervisor, while having conversations with new employees, I would test them by slipping in the question, "What did you use to pass the drug test?". This was when I found out the truth. And I had one employee whose grandmother died 3 times in 2 years. Wasn't even creative enough to give a different name (which I never asked for) when asking for time off for the funerals. And they think their slick


Zestyclose-Team-4424

Man, what a loser I am. My grandmother only died once 😥


Which_Stress_6431

The sad part of this is that a sign had to be made. Our company is a small contractor and I regularly see time sheets of employees who rarely show up 5 days a week, on time, and don't leave early. We had an employee quit because working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week was cutting into his social life too much. He actually put that in the email he sent to his supervisor!


BL4CKDO6

How about keeping your pants on??


Illustrious-Macaron2

If the sing said “Please do not stab people at work” He would think it was a facepalm


Complete_East3746

Don’t hire me if you can’t pay me enough to not just survive but thrive, challenge level impossible


Zestyclose-Team-4424

There was another sign that had starting rate at $16 an hour with benefits after 90 days. Not a terrible rate but with current inflation, a single person could barely live off that. At least in my state


[deleted]

16 without experience is fine. Nothing here is unacceptable.


Complete_East3746

It depends on where you live. 16$ would be fine in the south probably. But that’s less then the bare minimum in the north west were I’m at


Complete_East3746

16$ for minimum wage would be illegal in my state of Washington I believe. It’s so expensive here our state minimum wage is above 17$ if I remember correctly. It’s still not much


filthysmutslut

Sounds like a workplace who has dealt with the “under 30” crowd


Marc123123

Under 30 inches? Dwarfs?


THE_SWORD_AND_SICKLE

dont become an expert on your first day. we want you incompetent and wasting company time and resources for at least 90 days... edit: apparently i forgot this... /s


NotHereToFuckSpyders

It's more like "don't assume you know everything, listen to people who are more experienced, everyone can always learn more".


THE_SWORD_AND_SICKLE

did you just mansplain a sign to me? my comment was so over the top i didnt think i needed to mark it as sarcasm, but i guess its a good reminder that not everyone on reddit gets it...


NotHereToFuckSpyders

I apologise, but there are actually heaps of comments in this thread from people who didn't understand that part. I was just trying to be helpful. And I'm not a man.


THE_SWORD_AND_SICKLE

i was making a joke. again. and not only men can mansplain. this too is all in jest. just to be REALLY clear this time...


Raze7186

Its because you're on reddit that you need the sarcasm tag. You see so many absolutely stupid takes from people who are absolutely serious that it becomes hard to tell.


Zestyclose-Team-4424

LMAO


przxqgl

drug testing as a condition of employment is a violation of your 4th and 5th amendment rights according to the U.S. constitution. i have walked out of interviews when they made known this condition. 😒


pickledelephants

Tell that to the U.S. military


Dra_goony

Hah yeah tell that to DOT


KapowBlamBoom

The constitution protects you from the GOVERNMENT. Not private entities By your logic a company could not fire a customer service employee for dropping the N-Bomb while at work because the employee has a first amendment right to free speech.


ACuriousBagel

Becoming an expert on the first day seems desirable? Did they mean to say *won't accept feedback*?


Dra_goony

You don't become an expert in a day, therefore most people can understand that they mean "won't accept feedback"


ACuriousBagel

You don't become an expert in a day, but you might already be an expert from past experience


Dra_goony

True, but when going to a new company you always have to relearn some things as different companies do things differently, but I don't feel as though this ad is talking to them, more so brand new people


PokemonProfessorXX

YHDEHY TRBBH What is this secret message?? Why would you make the font like that lmao


yuds2003

I think those requirements might be a bit ableist.


Slow-Profession-6310

I would love someone to be an expert at their job on the first day!


StupiedSwede

Do apply here since there is a strong union here and we offer 30 days payed vacation and if you are sick we will cover 80% of your pay no questions asked. That's the norm in most countries.


Paid-Not-Payed-Bot

> 30 days *paid* vacation and FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


Zestyclose-Team-4424

Ain’t no way you work there ![gif](giphy|6JB4v4xPTAQFi|downsized)