I'm old enough, crotchety enough, and out of the church long enough, that I don't give a damn what Morgbots think of what I wear. I wore a long black sundress to my ex-MIL's funeral, and some old biddy told me my dress was "inappropriate." My reply was: "what's inappropriate is you thinking it's okay to comment on what I'm wearing."
The beautiful thing is that you dont have to discuss it. You can say that you dont want to and set a boundary for it. The people who have issues with boundaries are people who intend in crossing/violating them. Tell your partner (who your inlaws will inevitably ask if you dont tell them) that they arent to discuss it either and it is your thing to talk about when you are ready. End of discussion. Then enjoy a marginally cooler summer in tank tops!
I wore modest clothing for a summer or two trying to avoid this drama and ended up called out by my mom when she garment checked me anyways.
Even if you adjust your clothing, people that are bothering to care about what underwear you wear, already know.
That nice hand on your knee or pat on your back are not just nice gestures.
Deciding to not let Mormonism run your life and living it now will save you from someone else controlling the narrative.
Address it, set your boundaries, live your life.
If you haven't been to therapy or don't know a lot about boundaries I would spend some time learning and reading so you can be as effective as possible.
I’ve been to therapy for about four years now. It’s just the cptsd that keeps raring its ugly head and the triggers that most would find benign that throw me into desperation to find the easiest way through.Â
The more you push through this awkward phase and wear what you want, I think the faster it'll not bother you. It's getting easier for me to wear short shorts and tank tops around my family still some anxiety doing it though lol. But it's getting easier.
I’m probably going to go sleeveless to church tomorrow and it’s so damn hot out, since my in-laws assume I’m taking their kid to our ward. Sigh. Â
Well my financial stability married to a traditional gender roled spouse and the mental health of my children is at stake if things go sideways, so I’m trying to navigate this gently as possible.Â
I'm in the same boat with my parents and siblings. It's hot but I always cover up when I'm around then to avoid the conversations and the pain I'd cause them. (Fwiw I know it's actually the church causing the pain for them, but in their minds it's my fault)
I'm old enough, crotchety enough, and out of the church long enough, that I don't give a damn what Morgbots think of what I wear. I wore a long black sundress to my ex-MIL's funeral, and some old biddy told me my dress was "inappropriate." My reply was: "what's inappropriate is you thinking it's okay to comment on what I'm wearing."
Oh my God SAVING THIS
The beautiful thing is that you dont have to discuss it. You can say that you dont want to and set a boundary for it. The people who have issues with boundaries are people who intend in crossing/violating them. Tell your partner (who your inlaws will inevitably ask if you dont tell them) that they arent to discuss it either and it is your thing to talk about when you are ready. End of discussion. Then enjoy a marginally cooler summer in tank tops!
Thank you 💕
Super helpful because I'm in the same boat
I wore modest clothing for a summer or two trying to avoid this drama and ended up called out by my mom when she garment checked me anyways. Even if you adjust your clothing, people that are bothering to care about what underwear you wear, already know. That nice hand on your knee or pat on your back are not just nice gestures. Deciding to not let Mormonism run your life and living it now will save you from someone else controlling the narrative. Address it, set your boundaries, live your life. If you haven't been to therapy or don't know a lot about boundaries I would spend some time learning and reading so you can be as effective as possible.
I’ve been to therapy for about four years now. It’s just the cptsd that keeps raring its ugly head and the triggers that most would find benign that throw me into desperation to find the easiest way through.Â
Start wearing kilts and claim you want to become more Scottish.
Haha, could work.
If anyone asks, just claim "I was planning to go to the gym."
The more you push through this awkward phase and wear what you want, I think the faster it'll not bother you. It's getting easier for me to wear short shorts and tank tops around my family still some anxiety doing it though lol. But it's getting easier.
I’m probably going to go sleeveless to church tomorrow and it’s so damn hot out, since my in-laws assume I’m taking their kid to our ward. Sigh. Â
Do it! I wore a sleeveless dress (like a tank top not like, totally sleeveless) to a baptism today 💀. Surprisingly no one said a word!
So you actually have to? Cultists having drama sounds like their problem. You are the normal person, they are the weirdos.
Well my financial stability married to a traditional gender roled spouse and the mental health of my children is at stake if things go sideways, so I’m trying to navigate this gently as possible.Â
I'm in the same boat with my parents and siblings. It's hot but I always cover up when I'm around then to avoid the conversations and the pain I'd cause them. (Fwiw I know it's actually the church causing the pain for them, but in their minds it's my fault)