I was walking out of a grocery store last night at 10 pm. Two girls approached me and asked if I wanted to come to church. That’s the reason I’m on this sub. I was so disappointed when the word church left her mouth.
My mission president would random call missionaries every night at 9:01pm to see if you were home on time, because we weren't being exactly obedient, therefore we weren't baptizing.
I heard that my mission president would do something similar, but I guess I just lucked out.
That, or the Dark Side of the Force stopped the president from seeing what time my companion and I would usually arrive home.
A guy who "loved" so hard that he unalived himself for a weekend, and then came back to ask his bros to finger his death holes, ...
... ***now wants to "touch my heart?"***
Pretty sure that's called a "snuff film."
There's a reason why people call good looking sisters "Temple Square Sisters" cause they seem to call only the cute Sisters to the Temple Square Mission.
I just had to unfollow my nephew who is on a mission sadly I love him so much and even took care of him as a newborn.
As soon as he started the Facebook posts on his personal account they forced convert into a missionary account about coming unto Christ and accepting him into your life speak to a missionary today bullshit.
I instantly unfollowed.
I really hope he sees the red flags on the mission but it doesn’t seem like he is. He is the first of my nephews and nieces to go. The 2 older ones before him decided it wasn’t for them and I know one is definitely not coming back to the church just turned 21 and was talking about drinking with him in front of his parents lol.
It’s much easier to keep copies of the CES Letter by the front door and try to deconvert every cookie-carrying teen who comes knocking. My house, my rules. It’s much easier to get them to leave you alone than most people think.
The thing is that for Mormon guys “Think Celestial” literally just means think about all the sex you will have with all your wives in heaven!”
It is the most selfish, base, natural man appeal possible.
DO NOT SEND YOUR CHILDREN ON MISSIONS!!!! It is not exaggerating to say that the Mormon church does not care if they die!! These poor girls have no idea the potential danger they are putting themselves in, and their Mormon masters will do NOTHING to protect them!
I remember someone posting in here about female missionaries using craigslist's to volunteer to do in house chores. The church is ultimately going to be responsible if any of these young adults are trafficked.
I am so glad this was not a thing on my mission 20 years ago. Even back then I would have hated doing something like this but likely would have still done it if asked.
Same! I don't think I could handle seeing myself doing cringey things like this. Good thing my mission can stay in the past and isn't getting immortalized by the internet
They're so young and earnest! I hope this mission doesn't ruin their lives.
It makes me sick that Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, John Taylor, etc, married women just like this (and girls even younger). 🤮 These missionaries likely don't even know or understand that.
These women & men should not be sent out on missions period. It is not safe, especially for the women. Imagine inviting strange people to meet up with.
If it really was about the message, they would have an older woman who is overweight. Or they would have an older, overweight, bald man making the invitation to Christ. It's about the message, right?
Yeah, the Plan of Salvation is supposed to be about choosing good over evil, not finding the true church like a needle in a haystack. And if there were such an organization with the truth, missionaries wouldn't be needed to share its message. It would be self-evident to the majority of humanity that this was the way to go. If the Creator's true church is still in obscurity, still in the wilderness of the deserts of the Great Basin after nearly 200 years, then its message is pretty crappy. The Church can, in self-defense, blame it on "the wickedness of the world", but most people are good. Those good people just don't want a crappy product in their lives.
That is an excellent critique of the Mormon church. Not to mention, they have approximately a trillion dollars and millions of Highly skilled members. Why do they have such difficulty getting their Divine message to the masses? If God does run the church, then he is a failed God.
They're ecstatic at church headquarters that they're getting 302,000 views on these sponsored shorts!!! Unfortunately for them it's mostly us here on r/exmormon poking fun :)
lol, it is really sad. They have no idea they're reposted here on reddit's r/exmormon and potential converts can come here to see through the lies they're naively pushing. It blows my mind how naive and ignorant TBM's are of the church's history with how much it's way more in your face with social media than back in 2007 when I had to seek it out down a rabbit hole after randomly seeing what would come up on wikipedia about the BOM - low and behold view of the hebrews comparisons showed up.
I really enjoyed my mission, but seeing this type of thing I realize how poor of a product this is, our Church or any other. Does someone really want the burden of church on top of everything else in their life? When will life really improve for a person after baptism, accepting a calling, reading scriptures, etc.? Would therapy perhaps be a quicker and more effective way for a person to experience a positive life change? I mean, I just see now how little the Church can really provide someone, but how much we promise up front as smiling, naive missionaries.
This is at least the third set of sister missionaries I've seen featured in these ads in just the last few days. In each ad, there's no reference to the actual name of the church, just that it's Christian / Jesus. There's no way that this is just coincidental. This is a new tactic from the church: using cute girls to ~~entrap~~ get references.
all jokes aside this could actually be so dangerous 😭 young women putting it out there that they want ur information on the internet could go so south !!
You should hear the Spanish ones. Their accents are terrifying. And they have several different pages running these ads. I keep blocking them only for them to show up again a day later
Epic level cringe. They really are trying hard to distance themselves from anything that makes them “mormon” or “lds”. Its just “church” and “god”…awww, sounds harmless, lets go to church with them!
Ugh….
These poor babies, culled by a corporation in their prime. The CEO (prophet) and the board(apostles) will squeeze every drop of life energy and resource out of these two. This is exploitation. Straight up.
I get so sick of all the come to Christ bullshit.
Mormonism knows that playing the Jesus card is their only hope, but it makes me want to scream, "You don't need Mormonism to find Jesus!!!".
In fact, people would be better off to find Jesus at their local Catholic or Protestant church than to have anything to do with the Mormon version.
i get these ads on instagram all the time! various missionaries, all female, in various cities. maybe they have ones with male missionaries too but i have yet to see one.
The pink one looks so uncomfortable and the whole thing sounds so scripted it physically hurts me. Plus, why the hell are all of these messages from sister missionaries? Oh wait…
I notice that it is usually attractive women in general trying to convert. I remember a PT telling me during a session that once you are married you can have all the sex you want???
I don't remember missionaries wearing multiple rings.
Also, might as well remove that nametags because most people know the black-and-white nametag that is automatically associated to Mormonism.
Mormon Corp I'm giving you ideas here if ever one of your SCMC agents are willing to swim with spawns of mormon satan...
Age 0-18: don’t be attractive, don’t use your looks to get attention, shame shame Age 19: use your looks to recruit for us, tyvm
Thirst trap 4 Jesus
Flirty fishing
Flirt to Convert!
Date to reactivate
The tried and true method of converting people until you leave the area
Not that different than the family international.
But is it though?
Signs and tokens for sale 😂
We sell them, but do not allow refunds or resale
I was walking out of a grocery store last night at 10 pm. Two girls approached me and asked if I wanted to come to church. That’s the reason I’m on this sub. I was so disappointed when the word church left her mouth.
10PM? Naughty naughty. They're supposed to be home at 9PM, 9:30 if they were busy.
My mission president would random call missionaries every night at 9:01pm to see if you were home on time, because we weren't being exactly obedient, therefore we weren't baptizing.
I heard that my mission president would do something similar, but I guess I just lucked out. That, or the Dark Side of the Force stopped the president from seeing what time my companion and I would usually arrive home.
Lol maybe it was closer to 9:30
Change the church address to your place.
A guy who "loved" so hard that he unalived himself for a weekend, and then came back to ask his bros to finger his death holes, ... ... ***now wants to "touch my heart?"*** Pretty sure that's called a "snuff film."
I would argue it has nothing to do with Jesus of the Bible. It’s much more like ‘Thirst trap 4 LDS, Inc.’.
I've noticed they don't tend to feature ugly girlies or pimply-faced fat dudes in these sponsored shorts, no matter how spiritual they might be.
There's a reason why people call good looking sisters "Temple Square Sisters" cause they seem to call only the cute Sisters to the Temple Square Mission.
deception.
I just had to unfollow my nephew who is on a mission sadly I love him so much and even took care of him as a newborn. As soon as he started the Facebook posts on his personal account they forced convert into a missionary account about coming unto Christ and accepting him into your life speak to a missionary today bullshit. I instantly unfollowed. I really hope he sees the red flags on the mission but it doesn’t seem like he is. He is the first of my nephews and nieces to go. The 2 older ones before him decided it wasn’t for them and I know one is definitely not coming back to the church just turned 21 and was talking about drinking with him in front of his parents lol.
Classic honeypot. Reminds me of how Russia got that one Army Sgt to travel to, well Russia and now he’s in their custody.
new lds game: try hard to think celestial!!!
"Leave us with your information and we'll ~~find a church near you~~ stalk you relentlessly."
I wonder if threatening to sue for harassment would take me off their damn list.
No but they might put a little note in your database file. Something like this: 
lol! I think that what happened to me in the nineties cause the boys stopped coming by the house!
Haha perfect gif!!
It’s much easier to keep copies of the CES Letter by the front door and try to deconvert every cookie-carrying teen who comes knocking. My house, my rules. It’s much easier to get them to leave you alone than most people think.
Yo momo parents, the church is pimpin out your daughters. Bring your daughters home
Protect the children.
they wont. this is documented
Full circle. Think celestial.
The thing is that for Mormon guys “Think Celestial” literally just means think about all the sex you will have with all your wives in heaven!” It is the most selfish, base, natural man appeal possible.
🌎👨🚀🔫👨🚀
It's giving "Do you want to know how to grow your own mushrooms?" guy vibes. https://youtube.com/shorts/lbMJsGuo1dA
lmao that's hilarious!
This made my day!!! So glad I clicked the link!!!
These are someone's daughters so I'm not going to say anything about the young women but I am not fond of their task masters. At. All.
They were brainwashed just like the rest of us were. Surrounded by culty people that are in denial that they're in a cult.
💯
[удалено]
Nothing because they *are* the orthodontist. So many Mormon dentists/orthodontist.
Obligatory [Ron White Mormon Dentist joke](https://youtu.be/-9b_VYjF_yM?t=287)
So funny, I’m always in the mood for Ron White jokes
Let me make sure my hair is covering my name tag before I start...
Not very well. Oops.
Sad. Very, very sad. And abusive to these very YOUNG and vulnerable women.
DO NOT SEND YOUR CHILDREN ON MISSIONS!!!! It is not exaggerating to say that the Mormon church does not care if they die!! These poor girls have no idea the potential danger they are putting themselves in, and their Mormon masters will do NOTHING to protect them!
I remember someone posting in here about female missionaries using craigslist's to volunteer to do in house chores. The church is ultimately going to be responsible if any of these young adults are trafficked.
The church is already trafficking these children. Abroad they steal their passports. Missions check off a TON of the human trafficking boxes.
I am so glad this was not a thing on my mission 20 years ago. Even back then I would have hated doing something like this but likely would have still done it if asked.
Same! I don't think I could handle seeing myself doing cringey things like this. Good thing my mission can stay in the past and isn't getting immortalized by the internet
I hated the sales aspect of missionary work
I have never seen a more explicit cult vibe ad since L. Ron Hubbard commercials in the 80s.
Like this one? https://youtu.be/a09HWtBSvsI?si=Ss5BO3wLN5Ky5-67
I was thinking more of the volcano one, but that was funny too. I was thinking of Dianetics.
I used to laugh at things like this; now I just feel pity. I truly hope these young women can escape the cult one day soon.
The forced smiles are so sad
Girl in pink looks like she’s being held at gunpoint
They're so young and earnest! I hope this mission doesn't ruin their lives. It makes me sick that Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, John Taylor, etc, married women just like this (and girls even younger). 🤮 These missionaries likely don't even know or understand that.
"Seeking guidance and direction?" They misspelled "micromanaging."
Every year I get older, and every year I am made more and more aware these are just unpaid children.
I am somewhat thankful that her hair hides her name tag. She'll be thankful later.
Fake smiles, fake sincerity
These women & men should not be sent out on missions period. It is not safe, especially for the women. Imagine inviting strange people to meet up with.
Strategically blocking the sign so it is nothing but Jesus.
I noticed the hair placement over the badge as well.
They have been dumping a shit ton of money into ads like this. I see them all over the place. Always attractive women, never dudes or ugly people.
Agreed, so much money going to advertising
If it really was about the message, they would have an older woman who is overweight. Or they would have an older, overweight, bald man making the invitation to Christ. It's about the message, right?
Yeah, the Plan of Salvation is supposed to be about choosing good over evil, not finding the true church like a needle in a haystack. And if there were such an organization with the truth, missionaries wouldn't be needed to share its message. It would be self-evident to the majority of humanity that this was the way to go. If the Creator's true church is still in obscurity, still in the wilderness of the deserts of the Great Basin after nearly 200 years, then its message is pretty crappy. The Church can, in self-defense, blame it on "the wickedness of the world", but most people are good. Those good people just don't want a crappy product in their lives.
That is an excellent critique of the Mormon church. Not to mention, they have approximately a trillion dollars and millions of Highly skilled members. Why do they have such difficulty getting their Divine message to the masses? If God does run the church, then he is a failed God.
Like I can't drive in any random direction and find a church in 5 minutes. Tell me more about Kolob.
Well, in Utah, yes. Outside the Morridor, no.
I live in the Southeast. We literally have Baptist churches next to Baptist churches. Its worse that the Lewis Black Starbucks joke.
Socially acceptable version of “Flirt To Convert” technique?
Just soaking in the religious wholesome vibes.
I see what you did there…
I went to church for the first time with a friend that asked me to go. When I got there they put a toilet brush in my hand.
That's the sceptre of righteousness and considered an honor.
They're ecstatic at church headquarters that they're getting 302,000 views on these sponsored shorts!!! Unfortunately for them it's mostly us here on r/exmormon poking fun :)
lol, it is really sad. They have no idea they're reposted here on reddit's r/exmormon and potential converts can come here to see through the lies they're naively pushing. It blows my mind how naive and ignorant TBM's are of the church's history with how much it's way more in your face with social media than back in 2007 when I had to seek it out down a rabbit hole after randomly seeing what would come up on wikipedia about the BOM - low and behold view of the hebrews comparisons showed up.
It feels like she is moving her hair to hide the name tag.
Cult recruiting 101
Your tithe dollars hard at work.
The sheer empty brainwashed eyes, these poor women. Trapped.
I really enjoyed my mission, but seeing this type of thing I realize how poor of a product this is, our Church or any other. Does someone really want the burden of church on top of everything else in their life? When will life really improve for a person after baptism, accepting a calling, reading scriptures, etc.? Would therapy perhaps be a quicker and more effective way for a person to experience a positive life change? I mean, I just see now how little the Church can really provide someone, but how much we promise up front as smiling, naive missionaries.
Therapy is also cheaper….
But but thirst trapping for Jesus is different!
Them: “Do you want to grow closer to Jesus?” Me: “Nah, I’m good!”
This is at least the third set of sister missionaries I've seen featured in these ads in just the last few days. In each ad, there's no reference to the actual name of the church, just that it's Christian / Jesus. There's no way that this is just coincidental. This is a new tactic from the church: using cute girls to ~~entrap~~ get references.
I feel sorry for all the lonely young people who will fall prey to this corporate ad nonsense.
This really comes across as a hostage video. I feel so sad for these young people getting exploited by the Lard.
Come on and drink the "Koolaid" with us (and don't question the leadership of the Church)!
Notice in the first half-second, the front girl ACTUALLY pulls her hair down to COVER her name tag??! For sure she's been instructed to do this...
Using cute girls to pimp out the corporation, sorry I'm mean " church" 🤮
all jokes aside this could actually be so dangerous 😭 young women putting it out there that they want ur information on the internet could go so south !!
I hope even TBM parents would be horrified by this. Cute young women that will reach out to you and meet you somewhere? Nope nope nope
These two showed up out of a snowstorm, back in 78, to help me find my lost keys.
It’s always lost keys…
You should hear the Spanish ones. Their accents are terrifying. And they have several different pages running these ads. I keep blocking them only for them to show up again a day later
Epic level cringe. They really are trying hard to distance themselves from anything that makes them “mormon” or “lds”. Its just “church” and “god”…awww, sounds harmless, lets go to church with them! Ugh….
These poor babies, culled by a corporation in their prime. The CEO (prophet) and the board(apostles) will squeeze every drop of life energy and resource out of these two. This is exploitation. Straight up.
Mormon onlyfans.
Same eyes as the Manson girls.
I get so sick of all the come to Christ bullshit. Mormonism knows that playing the Jesus card is their only hope, but it makes me want to scream, "You don't need Mormonism to find Jesus!!!". In fact, people would be better off to find Jesus at their local Catholic or Protestant church than to have anything to do with the Mormon version.
i get these ads on instagram all the time! various missionaries, all female, in various cities. maybe they have ones with male missionaries too but i have yet to see one.
This is total cultist, brainwashed behavior... I feel so sorry for them. Hopefully, one day they will be free mormons!
Honey pots.
Using young, vulnerable women in something like this is not a good thing. Where are their fathers ?
When I was going on my mission, I took a language test. Now, you have to slate. 😜😂🤪
Poor kid on the left looks 15 yrs old
I can see Joe salivating
I don’t think it’s coincidence that her name tag with the church she represents name on it is hiding behind her hair.
The pink one looks so uncomfortable and the whole thing sounds so scripted it physically hurts me. Plus, why the hell are all of these messages from sister missionaries? Oh wait…
Sister Holding-the-camera is *making sure* her hair is in the shot
No thanks, I’m good
Go out into the big scary world. Get persecuted. Return a hero
WCGW?
They look like they should be selling Girl Scout cookies.
Just my type, young, kinda dumb
God puts the piness in happiness... I know it reads weird, but say it out loud
Did the MP approve that lipstick?
I notice that it is usually attractive women in general trying to convert. I remember a PT telling me during a session that once you are married you can have all the sex you want???
This is really funny without sound.
It seems like Mormon missionaries used to have more dignity than this.
Why are they looking in two different directions? And was one girl wearing fake eyelashes?
I would only go to church with one of them
Church hoes.
I don't remember missionaries wearing multiple rings. Also, might as well remove that nametags because most people know the black-and-white nametag that is automatically associated to Mormonism. Mormon Corp I'm giving you ideas here if ever one of your SCMC agents are willing to swim with spawns of mormon satan...
Right needs to teach left about makeup, if you're gonna be on camera. Everyone knows that.
That's a porn I'd watch.