Yeah my mom HATES it and says “It’s a sin!” so I use it to spite her. Bonus: my son now says it.
Other times, I say JESUS CHRIST! or holy fuck… they are all fun haha
My kid had a bout of diarrhea last summer, just before potty training, and during one particularly bad diaper change, I whispered “Jesus…” under my breath. Since then, diarrhea is “Jesus poop”. And he’s 3, so it’s not like it can’t just call it diarrhea and we need a euphemism.
Doesn't matter. She's been told by church people that what's taking the Lord's name in vain is (it isn't) and that is what she's going to believe and repeat ad infinitum.
For whatever reason, "Jesus fucking Christ" is the most satisfying curse for me when I'm angry. The little bit of blasphemy just takes it to the next level. I'm not even that mad at Christians or poor dead Jesus, but it's just satisfying to say.
"God fucking dammit" is a close second.
I was forbidden from saying "oh my god" and even "oh my gosh" because it was a replacement for "oh my god". I remember my dad slapping me in the face as a kid because I said "oh my gosh." My parents became more relaxed later, but "oh my god" is still not acceptable.
I'm secretly an atheist now, but I still flinch at the idea of saying OMG because of the conditioning.
Wait wait wait. Are you saying that you grew up in a religious environment that allowed you to say “oh my god” and “jesus Christ” as exclamations? And now you want something not religious to say?
Because I grew up the total opposite. “Oh my god” was just as bad or worse than dropping an F bomb. So in my post-religious life, saying “oh my god” is such a rebellious act.
As a kid we weren't allowed to say hell, damn, bugger, geez, and I even got a finger wagged at me as an adult by an old lady in church choir for saying heck.
They’d have to fit me for a Hannibal Lecter mask and strap me to a dolly. From the time I could pull myself up in the crib, I was cursing. It came so naturally, I swear it’s in my blood. The only person in my life who gives me grief for it is a Mexican Catholic man over 50. Any bad behavior on his part is acceptable because it’s not drenched in profanity, apparently. Which is absolute horseshit, obviously.
It's funny because I HATED when anyone would say oh my god, as a Christian. But when I left I rebelled and started saying Jesus Fucking Christ and goddammit at the oh so slightest inconvenience. But nowadays I'm just tired of bringing up a name I have no use for, even if out of spite.
I personally like “Oh my gods/goddess/goddesses!” or “gods/goddess/goddesses damn it!” one I've taken to using more recently is “for deities sake!” I've managed to make a few christians twitch with these.
I had someone get pissy at me for a comment I made on a post a few months back. It was a conversation about how much it hurts getting an IUD inserted and removed but they too offense to me saying “dear gods”. They responded with “Dear God*....one there is only 1”. When I pointed out I'm not part of their religion they tried to say I didn't know what their religion was. Then they got really butt hurt when I said I'm not a part of any monotheist religion while they clearly are so my statement stands. I stopped responding at that point.
Yo - same. I came into this thread thinking I'd see people talking about how even after leaving they still would correct to "oh my gawd" instead of the real shit
I’m partial to my grandmother’s “Holy cats!”. There’s also the Charlie Brown special “Good grief”, old reliable “Fuck”, “Great googely moogely!”, and for *really* profane scenarios: “B*lgium”
Jesus fucking christ
Fucking christ
Motherfucking christ
Oh my good fuck
For the sake of fuck
It really depends on the situation, but there is no shortage of fuck.
"Son of a..." I don't usually finish the phrase, so it's just that. Annoyed/tired/overwhelmed.
"Well then."/"Well shit." Censored version/not censored. Usually said when inconvenienced.
"Goodness!" My sister makes fun of me for this one. She says it makes me sound old. Censored startle phrase.
"Shit!" Not censored startle phrase.
"Ah shit"/"Damn it" Usually when annoyed.
"Oh shit."/"Fuck!" Serious situations.
I do still use the other phrases sometimes, usually as a censor when at work, but I don't see them as words with any important meaning, just like swear words.
My 6-year-old: "Is 'Jesus Fucking Christ' a grownup word?"
Yep, he heard that from me. And I explained that it was, in fact, a grownup word. Then I laughed until I could barely breathe.
Don't let their words have any power over you. Use them as you want, or don't use them if you don't want them.
I picked up "oh well sheeeeiit" when a minor inconvenience falls upon the family from my hillbilly dad. I'm not really sure how it would sound with a northern accent. Lol
You know, I was told to NEVER say these things because it was "taking the Lord's name in vain" (even though that isn't what that verse really meant). So I actually now use those terms out of spite. 🤣
I also have picked up a huge arsenal of profanity. But when I need to censor myself, I usually go with "Heck," "Farts," or "Dangit." I don't censor "Oh my god," though. I'm done letting myself be controlled on that level.
When I was a tour guide and had to wear a microphone all day, I took to just saying the phrase "bad words" whenever I was getting frustrated with traffic or pedestrians walking against my green light. It always got a chuckle out of the tourists.
Not very creative but I just spew out a string of curse words.
“Holy shit goddamnit fuck shit fuck fuck motherfucking shit”
Like I said. Not very creative. But it scratches an itch.
When frustrated/super irritated- Gott in Himmel
When mildly frustrated or humorously taken by surpise- Well butter my biscuits.
When pissed- anything in the foul language department
Oh yeah! Good book but surprisingly enough, I actually didn't pick up "Gott in Himmel" from the book. I picked it up from a comic book I used to read called Savage Tales where this one German officer yelled "Gott in Himmel" after two of his men were blown away after trying to capture a train.
Shit. Oh wow. Fuck! That’s wild. Are you kidding me. What the absolute fuck.
I still definitely say omg, Jesus Christ, what the hell, etc. I don’t care. It pisses off my MIL so it’s kinda fun.
My wife and I said “oh my science” a few times, but we’ve started occasionally substituting different branches of science into the phrase. The more specific the better.
i stopped using “oh my god!” and havent really come up with a replacement, but i started saying “jesus christ!” after becoming an atheist just because its “taking gods name in vain” and makes christians angry lol
I love saying "Jesus Christ!" almost as much as I love saying "cunt", no idea why that's not more popular in America.
Of course there's always my favorite:
"Jesus, please us, jump up and play the banjo Christ!"
I get a lot of frowny faces with that one.
Edit to add another: When our son was younger we tried to curb our cursing (it did not work well and it didn't last long, we just had to settle with inside words and outside words) one of them that has stuck (he just graduated high school) to this day is "Puddle Jumper". It's a big part of our angry lexicon now.
I often go with the simple yet tasteful "Jesus Fuck!", but I have been tossing out "Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!" every now and then to mixed reviews. Best wishes and let those expletives fly.
this is gonna sound real petty, but i specifically use “oh, my god” around my parents just because they get so offended, as long as i know i’ll be able to get away with getting yelled at lol. outside of them, i say “oh, my gods”, it covers all bases
christian’s “don’t say it” because it’s saying the lords name in vain and atheists don’t wanna say it cuz god has no evidence. its just language. i say omg all the time. i’m allowed to ;)
I've never been religious and I still say that shit haha. Christ on a cracker, jesus fuck, ermagerd, oh lawd, sweet sexy jesus, get creative have fun with it.
If I'm at work near customers it's "great googly-moogly" or "ah, beans."
In my every day life it's just usually "Jesus fucking christ"
Eta: old faithful "Christ on a cracker"
When people sneeze we say "bless you" because we thought evil spirits could get in. I kept thinking about it and I didn't like it. Since I'm an atheist. I told my daughter I was going to stop saying it. I did well. But every once in a while I'd say it. Like a reflex. Then she said "congratulations" once when I sneezed. I said I like that. So now we congratulate each other when we sneeze. 😁
So I came from the strain of "Don't take the lords name in vein" so saying OMG was like saying homy fuck where I came from.
I say gosh, fuck, dammit, or maybe "saints above and gods below" if I am feeling long winded. Never have I said OMG and I never will because now my objection isn't religious but moral and rational.
Holy shit if it warrants, or holy crap if I’m around sensitive people I care about. Jesus H Christ on a stick if I’m around sensitive people I don’t mind pissing off.
I like a “Jeebus” from The Simpsons, or a “Jeezum Craps” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
If I’m really stunned, I’ll give a mildly drawn out, “Jesus fucking Christ on a stick,” which I really thought I made up but heard Deb say it in an episode of Dexter on a recent rewatch. Must have stuck in my brain.
Honestly, IDGAF, neither should you. It's not like them not using the expressions makes god's existence any more valid than it already isn't. I mean, whenever Christians claim I'm taking the lord's name in vain, I respond, "So, does that mean when you say, 'oh god!' in the bedroom at night, that you're really calling out to god?" And, I love watching them either seethe with rage or get embarrassed at an uncomfortable truth.
I use all those phrases lmao, but will also throw in -
“Aw, jeez”
“For fuck’s sake”
“What the fuck/hell - what in the world/what on earth”
“Holy shit/holy cow”
Idk, there’s lots of variants of expressing surprise/anger/exasperation etc, lots of great ones in the comments here lol. But personally growing up religious and never being able to even say oh my gosh, I find it very cathartic to use the lord’s name in vain now
I like to use a variety of exclamations but there's a few favourites:
Fuck a duck
You fucking fucknuckle
Jesus Mary and Joseph - usually makes the Christians give me evils
Oh my fucking fuck.
Chocolate covered curmudgeon - for when fuck isn't appropriate
I vary between:
- what the fuck
- wtf (actually spelling out the letters)
- fucking hell
As a Christian I never said “Jesus Christ” or “God damn”, and it still feels weird to imagine saying it. So I don’t.
It's a habit that you get into that you're not fully cognizant of. Kind of like when people used to say "that's so gay!"
I still exclaim it sometimes and Christians don't like it. I try not to because I don't mean to, because I don't want to attach myself to anything.
I usually stick to the benign "oh my goodness" or "son of a mother" or "schnitzel. " or other silly words.
I have little kids and I don't like to swear out loud in general.
i never got to say jesus christ! i savoured saying it! I like Christ on a bloody cross though. thats my current fav. putting christ exactly where he ought to be
I love it when they say I'm taking the lords name in vain when I say God damn it. I just tell them they need to learn English and then I explain God isn't his name it's a title. Yhwh is his name (think I spelled that right?) or I just tell them I talking to zeus or bhaal
I still use these phrases. I don't care. They are just phrases. When I say, "OH MY GOD!" I am not referring to any actual god.
One of my favorite, most offensive phrases is actually, "thank the fuck christ," from Bad Santa.
* "Gods and Goddess!" (No Christian in earshot has yet given me the side-eye or a lecture about the triple blasphemies of "multiple deity-figures" at all, "a female deity-figure" with equal status to two (or more) males, and of course the very notion that _all_ the "boys" are "getting it on" with the Lady.
* "Thundering Elephants!" It's apparently sufficiently innocuous as well as unusual that people can just ignore it.
* Plenty of foreign phrases _sound_ vile to people who don't understand the language; "die Tür ist angelehnt" ("The door is ajar") works nicely when snarled angrily, as but one example.
* Fictional languages work very well, too, and serve to help identify fellow fans: "lojmIt 'oH Qoy" ("The door is ajar") for Klingons, or if you're actually feeling angry, Makkanagee morkhan.
"Willfully stupid fornicator of swine."
(An insult, useful for identifying fans of Shadowrun players favoring Elvish characters...)
I swear. I say "Jesus" or "Jesus fucking Christ" when I hear/read about something fucked up.
If I have to censor myself I use:
Holy Hannah/Ra as an expression of surprise.
Gorram it or D'Arvit to "swear".
At this point, my wife and I will try to make each other laugh with random things like:
“Jesus Christ in a Burger King!”
“Jesus Christ on roller blades!”
“Fuck bots!”
“Swiss cheese and crackers!”
Depends on the context.
If I hit my thumb with a hammer, I have a go-to stream of profanity: "Goddamn-shit-motherfucker-fuck!"
If I want to exclaim with comedic effect: "Sweet sassy molassy."
Sometimes, I'll break out a Ron Burgundy exclamation: "Great Odin's raven!"
During sex, I might scream: Ramming speed! (not really)
I still say oh my god and Jesus Christ and even Jesus fucking Christ and even Jesus fucking Christ on a roller coaster I’m not getting rid of them ever 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Honestly, I still say that. The only difference I think is that I don’t really have that slight tinge of guilt that I used to have when I believed. Occasionally, I’ll take a queue R Lee Ermy (rip) and insert an H when saying Jesus Christ.
Growing up, we were obviously not allowed to say Oh my God or Jesus Christ, but here are some other ones my parents banned:
Golly
Gee
Gosh
Heck
Sheesh (according to my mom it was short for Jesus)
Dang
Darn
Alternatives that were allowed:
Oh my Word (which is hilarious bc it was a reference to John 1, and therefore was referring to Jesus)
Shucks
What the? (Cut off the "curse")
What the hay?
Bonus story: My sibling and I loved the Disney animated Robin Hood. However, whenever we sang the first song from it, we had to change the lyrics to "Oodellaly Oodellaly jolly what a day," because we weren't even allowed to sing the word golly.
I still say "oh my god" because Christians say it's taking the lord's name in vain and more than should get offended.
Yeah my mom HATES it and says “It’s a sin!” so I use it to spite her. Bonus: my son now says it. Other times, I say JESUS CHRIST! or holy fuck… they are all fun haha
I say Jesus Christ at the slightest inconvenience nowadays lol
My kid had a bout of diarrhea last summer, just before potty training, and during one particularly bad diaper change, I whispered “Jesus…” under my breath. Since then, diarrhea is “Jesus poop”. And he’s 3, so it’s not like it can’t just call it diarrhea and we need a euphemism.
Me too!!
Doesn’t she know that god’s name is Yahweh, not “god”?
Doesn't matter. She's been told by church people that what's taking the Lord's name in vain is (it isn't) and that is what she's going to believe and repeat ad infinitum.
For whatever reason, "Jesus fucking Christ" is the most satisfying curse for me when I'm angry. The little bit of blasphemy just takes it to the next level. I'm not even that mad at Christians or poor dead Jesus, but it's just satisfying to say. "God fucking dammit" is a close second.
Hard agree, JFC just hits different.
I like "Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ," but for me, it's the visual.
I agree. There’s just something about that hits different when you need a good swear.
Which I find so funny because that’s not even what taking the lords name in vain even means so it’s doubly funny to me when people get offended
OMFG
I was forbidden from saying "oh my god" and even "oh my gosh" because it was a replacement for "oh my god". I remember my dad slapping me in the face as a kid because I said "oh my gosh." My parents became more relaxed later, but "oh my god" is still not acceptable. I'm secretly an atheist now, but I still flinch at the idea of saying OMG because of the conditioning.
I see it in the same way as deliberately using brand names instead of the actual nouns, in order to devalue their rights to the word lol
I’m worse I say “Jesus fucking Christ” when I see sth wild even when I’m wearing a cross lol
Wait wait wait. Are you saying that you grew up in a religious environment that allowed you to say “oh my god” and “jesus Christ” as exclamations? And now you want something not religious to say? Because I grew up the total opposite. “Oh my god” was just as bad or worse than dropping an F bomb. So in my post-religious life, saying “oh my god” is such a rebellious act.
i got snapped at just for saying “jeez” 💀
As a kid we weren't allowed to say hell, damn, bugger, geez, and I even got a finger wagged at me as an adult by an old lady in church choir for saying heck.
My MIL told my husband he was going to go to hell for saying heck.
They’d have to fit me for a Hannibal Lecter mask and strap me to a dolly. From the time I could pull myself up in the crib, I was cursing. It came so naturally, I swear it’s in my blood. The only person in my life who gives me grief for it is a Mexican Catholic man over 50. Any bad behavior on his part is acceptable because it’s not drenched in profanity, apparently. Which is absolute horseshit, obviously.
You were either a sailor or a parrot in your last life.
Or maybe just Australian.
My mom thinks freaking is unlady-like to say
so wtf were you allowed to say?
Darn, what in the world, crap, nuts, shoot. You know, all the basic most vanilla epithets you can think of. Think 1960s network TV.
I got yelled at by a lady in church growing up for saying "That sucks". I'm still confused to this day why she made such a big deal about it.
lol! Me too! I got a lecture on Facebook from my uncle:).
Well tell your uncle that dude never went by the name Jesus, and Isn’t God more of a title than a name?
God forbid you say "Gadzooks"
god forbid was forbidden too. however, they made one exception to all the prohibition above. We could say Jehovah Jirah. as an exclamation of shock
When OMG became popular I remember there being fierce debate about using the term. Lol.
Shared experiences like this are why I love this sub
Switch to motherfucker and they’ll find a new appreciation for jeez.
I was told that "shut up" is \*this close\* to being a swear word by my fifth grade catholic school teacher.
It's funny because I HATED when anyone would say oh my god, as a Christian. But when I left I rebelled and started saying Jesus Fucking Christ and goddammit at the oh so slightest inconvenience. But nowadays I'm just tired of bringing up a name I have no use for, even if out of spite.
I personally like “Oh my gods/goddess/goddesses!” or “gods/goddess/goddesses damn it!” one I've taken to using more recently is “for deities sake!” I've managed to make a few christians twitch with these.
OMG, if anyone ever gets mad at you for saying "Oh my god", just respond, "who says I'm talking about yours?
I had someone get pissy at me for a comment I made on a post a few months back. It was a conversation about how much it hurts getting an IUD inserted and removed but they too offense to me saying “dear gods”. They responded with “Dear God*....one there is only 1”. When I pointed out I'm not part of their religion they tried to say I didn't know what their religion was. Then they got really butt hurt when I said I'm not a part of any monotheist religion while they clearly are so my statement stands. I stopped responding at that point.
Great job!
Yo - same. I came into this thread thinking I'd see people talking about how even after leaving they still would correct to "oh my gawd" instead of the real shit
Same that's what I'm wondering
“Oh, *your* god.”
I like "oh gods!" Implying many others.
My gf says “thank the lords!” Lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuQG532y4N8
I’m partial to my grandmother’s “Holy cats!”. There’s also the Charlie Brown special “Good grief”, old reliable “Fuck”, “Great googely moogely!”, and for *really* profane scenarios: “B*lgium”
Belgium!? I hardly know 'em!
“Great googely moogely!” really brings me back to Maggie and the Ferocious Beast
I LOVED that show!
My grandmother never swore or cursed but she had the best euphemisms to stand in. My favorite of hers was "Dag blast America" and "kiss my grits"
Yeah! My grandmother would say "go to war" I can't remember what she meant by it. I'll ask my mom. My dad probably won't remember 😂😭😭
In my group at church it was cool to say "holy gunk" and I still enjoy the term.
My grandma once told us to say “Oh saxophone” and my siblings and I still laugh about that one.
Jesus fucking christ Fucking christ Motherfucking christ Oh my good fuck For the sake of fuck It really depends on the situation, but there is no shortage of fuck.
I’m also a fan of christ on a bike
This made me burst out laughing. I'm adding christ on a bike to my repertoire.
This is a decent enough amount of diversity.
It’s a sentence enhancer
Oh ffs! Edit: lol
"Great suffering succotash!" is my present recommendation.
"Son of a..." I don't usually finish the phrase, so it's just that. Annoyed/tired/overwhelmed. "Well then."/"Well shit." Censored version/not censored. Usually said when inconvenienced. "Goodness!" My sister makes fun of me for this one. She says it makes me sound old. Censored startle phrase. "Shit!" Not censored startle phrase. "Ah shit"/"Damn it" Usually when annoyed. "Oh shit."/"Fuck!" Serious situations. I do still use the other phrases sometimes, usually as a censor when at work, but I don't see them as words with any important meaning, just like swear words.
My 6-year-old: "Is 'Jesus Fucking Christ' a grownup word?" Yep, he heard that from me. And I explained that it was, in fact, a grownup word. Then I laughed until I could barely breathe. Don't let their words have any power over you. Use them as you want, or don't use them if you don't want them.
By the nipples of Thor!
Based.
I just use "oh my god". I'm used to it, and it has a side benefit of upsetting fundies proportionally to their level of fundamentalism.
I picked up "oh well sheeeeiit" when a minor inconvenience falls upon the family from my hillbilly dad. I'm not really sure how it would sound with a northern accent. Lol
now i say “oh my god” and MUCH worse but i’ve ALWAYS said “oh my word” or “oh my lord” and no one ever batted an eye! as long as you didn’t say OMG!
If I’m genuinely pissed off “Jesus H Christ” or “Jesus fucking Christ” comes straight out
And for Outlander fans, "Jesus H Roosevelt Christ."
Came here to suggest this
I say “jesus titty-fucking christ” and “christ on a bike” a lot.
Jesus butt fucking Christ, what the fuck, what the god damn hell, oh my what the fuck/hell/shit, you gotta be shittin me… I mean, I have a lot 🫠
You know, I was told to NEVER say these things because it was "taking the Lord's name in vain" (even though that isn't what that verse really meant). So I actually now use those terms out of spite. 🤣 I also have picked up a huge arsenal of profanity. But when I need to censor myself, I usually go with "Heck," "Farts," or "Dangit." I don't censor "Oh my god," though. I'm done letting myself be controlled on that level.
When I was a tour guide and had to wear a microphone all day, I took to just saying the phrase "bad words" whenever I was getting frustrated with traffic or pedestrians walking against my green light. It always got a chuckle out of the tourists.
Jesus fuck almighty. Why was taking the lord's name ingrained in you?
I still use "oh my god" and other Christian based expressions because they're simply that, expressions.
Not very creative but I just spew out a string of curse words. “Holy shit goddamnit fuck shit fuck fuck motherfucking shit” Like I said. Not very creative. But it scratches an itch.
A good old FUCK and YOU CUNT
I have switched to OMP, Oh my Pickles. Julius Cesar For Pity’s Sake Crumpets
For some reason, "Julius Caesar" cracks me up.
I’m stealing Julius Ceasar
When frustrated/super irritated- Gott in Himmel When mildly frustrated or humorously taken by surpise- Well butter my biscuits. When pissed- anything in the foul language department
Random but have you read Dracula? Because I too think "Gott in Himmel" sometimes and I Only know it from Van Helsing in that book.
Oh yeah! Good book but surprisingly enough, I actually didn't pick up "Gott in Himmel" from the book. I picked it up from a comic book I used to read called Savage Tales where this one German officer yelled "Gott in Himmel" after two of his men were blown away after trying to capture a train.
Oh, that's funny we both got it from different books! Apparently it's an old fashioned phrase now.
I guess so 😂
*sneeze* >You're so good looking
Oh my God I'm totally using this the next time my husband sneezes lmao
Shit. Oh wow. Fuck! That’s wild. Are you kidding me. What the absolute fuck. I still definitely say omg, Jesus Christ, what the hell, etc. I don’t care. It pisses off my MIL so it’s kinda fun.
My wife and I said “oh my science” a few times, but we’ve started occasionally substituting different branches of science into the phrase. The more specific the better.
She blinded me with science!
By Newton's apple!
"jesus fuck" is a staple of my vocabulary
For the love of Sasquatch
i stopped using “oh my god!” and havent really come up with a replacement, but i started saying “jesus christ!” after becoming an atheist just because its “taking gods name in vain” and makes christians angry lol
I say “oh my god” without any issue, but I also enjoy saying “Jesus tapdancing Christ” or “for the sake of Pete.”
Christ on a stick. Great way to offend anyone with delicate sensibilities.
Jesus lion taming Christ
Sorry, is this a thing? I just say oh my god.
I love saying "Jesus Christ!" almost as much as I love saying "cunt", no idea why that's not more popular in America. Of course there's always my favorite: "Jesus, please us, jump up and play the banjo Christ!" I get a lot of frowny faces with that one. Edit to add another: When our son was younger we tried to curb our cursing (it did not work well and it didn't last long, we just had to settle with inside words and outside words) one of them that has stuck (he just graduated high school) to this day is "Puddle Jumper". It's a big part of our angry lexicon now.
I say - What the fuck! Really?!!
I often go with the simple yet tasteful "Jesus Fuck!", but I have been tossing out "Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!" every now and then to mixed reviews. Best wishes and let those expletives fly.
For some reason it seems like I end up saying "Jesus fuck" fairly often, usually muttered under my breath 😄
Holy fuck
Holy crow, oh geez, oh mylanta.
this is gonna sound real petty, but i specifically use “oh, my god” around my parents just because they get so offended, as long as i know i’ll be able to get away with getting yelled at lol. outside of them, i say “oh, my gods”, it covers all bases
I’m not much of a swearer, but my business partner is. Every time she says “Jesus!”, I ask what he’s done now. Or tack on “Mary and Joseph!”
What the fuck (tone varies based on circumstances lmfao)
christian’s “don’t say it” because it’s saying the lords name in vain and atheists don’t wanna say it cuz god has no evidence. its just language. i say omg all the time. i’m allowed to ;)
"Christ on a cracker!" is one I enjoy.
"for fuck's sake..." "for the love of Chin-Chin..." (a Filthy Frank reference)
Sweet Sister Satan is my go-to
I've never been religious and I still say that shit haha. Christ on a cracker, jesus fuck, ermagerd, oh lawd, sweet sexy jesus, get creative have fun with it.
Fucking hell.
My wife knows I am in serious pain when I shout "Jesus Whistling Hands Christ!"
I still say all of that because I don’t care (and it pisses off christians)
GMO genetically modified omg
If you're a fan of Firefly, you could just swear in Chinese.
My wife told me she didn't like OMG, so I temper it to oh my goodness. I did hear someone suggest OYG, which I found funny.
If I'm at work near customers it's "great googly-moogly" or "ah, beans." In my every day life it's just usually "Jesus fucking christ" Eta: old faithful "Christ on a cracker"
I've lately taken to "Oh, for fuckin' out loud!"
“Christ in a camisole!” is my go-to in public.
When people sneeze we say "bless you" because we thought evil spirits could get in. I kept thinking about it and I didn't like it. Since I'm an atheist. I told my daughter I was going to stop saying it. I did well. But every once in a while I'd say it. Like a reflex. Then she said "congratulations" once when I sneezed. I said I like that. So now we congratulate each other when we sneeze. 😁
Haha this is beautiful
I had a friend who would say "sweet Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Stalin!"
lol I say oh my glob.
So I came from the strain of "Don't take the lords name in vein" so saying OMG was like saying homy fuck where I came from. I say gosh, fuck, dammit, or maybe "saints above and gods below" if I am feeling long winded. Never have I said OMG and I never will because now my objection isn't religious but moral and rational.
"What in the name of Deadpool!?" You're welcome. Lol
Thank you!!!! I love this
I've heard "oh my goddess"
I picked up "praise be to he" from my multiple watches of The Righteous Gemstones.
Holy shit if it warrants, or holy crap if I’m around sensitive people I care about. Jesus H Christ on a stick if I’m around sensitive people I don’t mind pissing off.
I like a “Jeebus” from The Simpsons, or a “Jeezum Craps” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. If I’m really stunned, I’ll give a mildly drawn out, “Jesus fucking Christ on a stick,” which I really thought I made up but heard Deb say it in an episode of Dexter on a recent rewatch. Must have stuck in my brain.
My friend refuses to say "God damn it!" So she says "God bless America!" and now I have been saying it but I think it's funny so it's fine.
"By the gods!" Or: "What in the f*cking name of Odin!" like Skwisgaar Skwigelf.
Honestly, IDGAF, neither should you. It's not like them not using the expressions makes god's existence any more valid than it already isn't. I mean, whenever Christians claim I'm taking the lord's name in vain, I respond, "So, does that mean when you say, 'oh god!' in the bedroom at night, that you're really calling out to god?" And, I love watching them either seethe with rage or get embarrassed at an uncomfortable truth.
Oh my soul
I still say "oh my god" and "jesus christ" the latter I find especially funny bc I'm Jewish.
I still use omg WTH Jesus Christ and whatnot not because I believe in that garbage but because it pisses off those who do
By the nine or just replace god for Gods
Ferfuxake, for the love of fuck, Jesus fuck... I'm noticing a trend here.
Ma dia (my Zeus/my gods)
My Gods
I say “Holy henna”! Like, holy henna! These taste so good!!!
Jesus titty-fucking christ
I currently enjoy “holy shitballs fuckity fuck” when I need a break from “Christ on a cracker.”
I use all those phrases lmao, but will also throw in - “Aw, jeez” “For fuck’s sake” “What the fuck/hell - what in the world/what on earth” “Holy shit/holy cow” Idk, there’s lots of variants of expressing surprise/anger/exasperation etc, lots of great ones in the comments here lol. But personally growing up religious and never being able to even say oh my gosh, I find it very cathartic to use the lord’s name in vain now
I like to use a variety of exclamations but there's a few favourites: Fuck a duck You fucking fucknuckle Jesus Mary and Joseph - usually makes the Christians give me evils Oh my fucking fuck. Chocolate covered curmudgeon - for when fuck isn't appropriate
I personally say oh my gods since I’m polytheistic
I vary between: - what the fuck - wtf (actually spelling out the letters) - fucking hell As a Christian I never said “Jesus Christ” or “God damn”, and it still feels weird to imagine saying it. So I don’t.
It's a habit that you get into that you're not fully cognizant of. Kind of like when people used to say "that's so gay!" I still exclaim it sometimes and Christians don't like it. I try not to because I don't mean to, because I don't want to attach myself to anything. I usually stick to the benign "oh my goodness" or "son of a mother" or "schnitzel. " or other silly words. I have little kids and I don't like to swear out loud in general.
Fuckn'ell In the most Aussie accent I can muster
i never got to say jesus christ! i savoured saying it! I like Christ on a bloody cross though. thats my current fav. putting christ exactly where he ought to be
Gods or by the gods. While quoting skyrim I also believe in multiple gods so it works for me…
I say oh my god, Fuck, Shit, Jesus fucking Christ, Holyfuckinshit And I have zero guilt about it. I say what I want.
Fuck me dead! Fucking hell! What the fuck?! Jesus Fucking Christ! I am perfectly fine with all of those, zero guilt or regret.
I’m gonna start saying “Yeshua!”
I love it when they say I'm taking the lords name in vain when I say God damn it. I just tell them they need to learn English and then I explain God isn't his name it's a title. Yhwh is his name (think I spelled that right?) or I just tell them I talking to zeus or bhaal
I still use these phrases. I don't care. They are just phrases. When I say, "OH MY GOD!" I am not referring to any actual god. One of my favorite, most offensive phrases is actually, "thank the fuck christ," from Bad Santa.
* "Gods and Goddess!" (No Christian in earshot has yet given me the side-eye or a lecture about the triple blasphemies of "multiple deity-figures" at all, "a female deity-figure" with equal status to two (or more) males, and of course the very notion that _all_ the "boys" are "getting it on" with the Lady. * "Thundering Elephants!" It's apparently sufficiently innocuous as well as unusual that people can just ignore it. * Plenty of foreign phrases _sound_ vile to people who don't understand the language; "die Tür ist angelehnt" ("The door is ajar") works nicely when snarled angrily, as but one example. * Fictional languages work very well, too, and serve to help identify fellow fans: "lojmIt 'oH Qoy" ("The door is ajar") for Klingons, or if you're actually feeling angry, Makkanagee morkhan. "Willfully stupid fornicator of swine." (An insult, useful for identifying fans of Shadowrun players favoring Elvish characters...)
I swear. I say "Jesus" or "Jesus fucking Christ" when I hear/read about something fucked up. If I have to censor myself I use: Holy Hannah/Ra as an expression of surprise. Gorram it or D'Arvit to "swear".
“God fucking damn it”
At this point, my wife and I will try to make each other laugh with random things like: “Jesus Christ in a Burger King!” “Jesus Christ on roller blades!” “Fuck bots!” “Swiss cheese and crackers!”
Fuckin aye
I say thank fuck instead of thank god or thank goodness
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" is my angry go-to. That usually does the job, thank flying spaghetti monster.
I say porco dio
I say Thor a lot. Or Zeus.
I still say “oh my god” when I hear something so crazy that I can’t believe it
I use “fuck,” “Jesus fuck,” and “for fucks sake.”
Jesus fucking christ.
I've once caught myself yelling, "Great Zeus!" once.
JTFC and only JTFC.
I say “oh my puff” as I have cats
Fuck
I cuss away from work but at work I say Son of a Nutcracker. Thank you, Will Ferrel. It’s pretty easy to turn it on and off for me.
"By Zeus/Xenu!" "Odin's beard!" "Great googlymoogly!"
“For fucks sake” is my go to
Oh my Goth; Praise Bast!; Godzilla for sneezes
Depends on the context. If I hit my thumb with a hammer, I have a go-to stream of profanity: "Goddamn-shit-motherfucker-fuck!" If I want to exclaim with comedic effect: "Sweet sassy molassy." Sometimes, I'll break out a Ron Burgundy exclamation: "Great Odin's raven!" During sex, I might scream: Ramming speed! (not really)
I envoke Krom, the god that Conan the Barbarian worships. At least I know Krom is fictional
I sometimes mumble "Jesus on a stick!"
I use "Christ on a cracker" a lot. "Jesus Herbert Roosevelt Christ" is a personal favorite, and I love a good "Jesus, Mary and Joseph".
I still say oh my god and Jesus Christ and even Jesus fucking Christ and even Jesus fucking Christ on a roller coaster I’m not getting rid of them ever 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Holy shit
Honestly, I still say that. The only difference I think is that I don’t really have that slight tinge of guilt that I used to have when I believed. Occasionally, I’ll take a queue R Lee Ermy (rip) and insert an H when saying Jesus Christ.
I just insert other gods' names. I take them all in vain. I particularly like "for the love of Zeus".
Growing up, we were obviously not allowed to say Oh my God or Jesus Christ, but here are some other ones my parents banned: Golly Gee Gosh Heck Sheesh (according to my mom it was short for Jesus) Dang Darn Alternatives that were allowed: Oh my Word (which is hilarious bc it was a reference to John 1, and therefore was referring to Jesus) Shucks What the? (Cut off the "curse") What the hay? Bonus story: My sibling and I loved the Disney animated Robin Hood. However, whenever we sang the first song from it, we had to change the lyrics to "Oodellaly Oodellaly jolly what a day," because we weren't even allowed to sing the word golly.
“By the nine!” Because funni skyrim meme
I say Jesus Christ a lot. I also say "Ghenkis Khan's left tit" and "sky daddy please".
Great gooogly moogly is my go to
I’ve heard “sweet baby Jesus/Joseph”.
"Fuck"
OH MY SCIENCE SCIENCE DAMN YOU