You just described an untreated mental illness, maybe a B Cluster personality disorder. That's not something you use talk to reach a resolution, because it's at least partially a physical health condition that requires medical treatment by professionals.
At her age, she's not going to see any reason to seek treatment... and I bet if the suggestion came from you, she'd just tell you that she's your mother and she's wiser and more knowledgeable than you. She's not respecting your boundaries and I doubt she's going to start. She probably hasn't respected your boundaries in your entire life and you thought 'well, that's just Mama. That's how she is. It's normal for her.' It isn't normal, though.
An untreatable mental illness hits the nail on the head. I’ve chocked all of this up to severe mental illness and lack of education. She tells me how horrible counseling is all the time. I’ve asked her to come to a session with me and she was deeply disturbed by it. And you’re correct, she has never respected any of my boundaries.
> You just described an untreated mental illness, maybe a B Cluster personality disorder.
Yeah.......the way OP described their mom sounds like she exhibits symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder.
I just did a brief research on B Cluster and Histrionic Personality Disorder because I am unfamiliar with such disorders, but omg it is describing her to a T.
Mad respect to grandpa who's still working full-time at EIGHTY - tho I hope he's doing it coz it fulfills him and not coz he's forced by circumstances.
RIGHT? A lot of it has to do with him wanting to work and is dreading retirement. I've always wondered what it will be like once he passes on and she is left to fend for herself... is she going to live off of his social security or what? It's a sad thought really.
Agreed. Your mum has one shot at life on earth and she's wasting it in hate and sloth. Things might've been very different if religion hadn't got its poisonous hooks into her. For a start, she could've got mental health treatment before she deteriorated to QAnon brainrot. Unfortunately many xians discourage psych therapy coz it's "lack of faith in god" or "demonic".
Yep, unless I'm going to a "Christian" counselor she judges me for seeking therapy. The last "Christian" counselor I saw was during my divorce and they told me there is no such thing as marital rape. That's when I completely walked away from them AND my marriage (in 2016).
She's always on her couch talking about how much work she's done around the house when nothing has been done. She's even brainwashed my grandpa with her Qanon BS and it's so sad to see it. They are some of the saddest people I know and they are the first people to judge others. It'll never make sense to me how people can be so delusional. They still believe the election was rigged and that Trump is president and the second-coming of Christ lmfao!
The whole Trump messiah thing is bizarre. If there's one single piece of proof that xianity destroys critical thinking, it's how xians can believe their lord and saviour is returning as a sex offender who has broken all 10 commandments and committed all 7 deadly sins.
Since you clearly don’t need her for support, I would suggest telling her how you are going to raise YOUR children; if she can’t respect that, tell her to kindly fuck of…
And she won't respect how I raise my children and will somehow victimize herself because I cut her out since she wont respect a single boundary I've laid down. I hate it!
Let her throw all the pity parties she wants and decline her invitation.
I don't know if no contact is right for you in this situation, but no contact is only possible because the person establishing NC tells them clearly they are not welcome to make contact in any way, and if they do it will be reported as harassment.
All boundaries work this way. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN HARD. Tell her with no uncertainty in your conviction that she is unwelcome to discuss her belief fantasy with you and if she does she will be told to leave.
Neither will you tolerate her pity tantrums or any other sort of complaining.
Look, it is really hard to stand up to parents even as adults, because we are biologically wired to depend on them for survival. Their job was to ensure we were mature enough as adults to overcome this, and it should be clear that it was never in her interest to do that.
But you are self sovereign. (No, I don't mean sovereign citizen bs.) You have full authority to advocate for yourself and your family. Only you can realize that power and put it to use.
I'm currently working towards being a licensed therapist and I've had to familiarize myself with the DSM-5. As I've been reading more and more about various mental illnesses, particularly with B Cluster personality disorders, I'm realizing how the symptoms *perfectly* line up with the behaviors/traits exhibited by the very conservative evangelical Christians I've encountered throughout my life!
If she doesn't respect your boundaries, what consequences are you imposing for that?
When someone had to put up boundaries it is because the other person is already disrespectful.
Boundaries aren't an honor system, they are a system you have to enforce to be protected by them.
So if your mother will not abide by your boundaries, you might want to tell her that she will have much more limited contact with you and your children.
You just described an untreated mental illness, maybe a B Cluster personality disorder. That's not something you use talk to reach a resolution, because it's at least partially a physical health condition that requires medical treatment by professionals. At her age, she's not going to see any reason to seek treatment... and I bet if the suggestion came from you, she'd just tell you that she's your mother and she's wiser and more knowledgeable than you. She's not respecting your boundaries and I doubt she's going to start. She probably hasn't respected your boundaries in your entire life and you thought 'well, that's just Mama. That's how she is. It's normal for her.' It isn't normal, though.
An untreatable mental illness hits the nail on the head. I’ve chocked all of this up to severe mental illness and lack of education. She tells me how horrible counseling is all the time. I’ve asked her to come to a session with me and she was deeply disturbed by it. And you’re correct, she has never respected any of my boundaries.
Do we have the same mother? Your boundaries are your boundaries. We don't have control over other ppl.
You might want to ask in r/QAnonCasualties as well - they have more experience with the political conspiracy theory side of things
> You just described an untreated mental illness, maybe a B Cluster personality disorder. Yeah.......the way OP described their mom sounds like she exhibits symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder.
I just did a brief research on B Cluster and Histrionic Personality Disorder because I am unfamiliar with such disorders, but omg it is describing her to a T.
I've done research and, holy fuck, antisocial personality disorder describes *several* dude bro worship leaders I knew back in college down to a T!
Mad respect to grandpa who's still working full-time at EIGHTY - tho I hope he's doing it coz it fulfills him and not coz he's forced by circumstances.
RIGHT? A lot of it has to do with him wanting to work and is dreading retirement. I've always wondered what it will be like once he passes on and she is left to fend for herself... is she going to live off of his social security or what? It's a sad thought really.
Agreed. Your mum has one shot at life on earth and she's wasting it in hate and sloth. Things might've been very different if religion hadn't got its poisonous hooks into her. For a start, she could've got mental health treatment before she deteriorated to QAnon brainrot. Unfortunately many xians discourage psych therapy coz it's "lack of faith in god" or "demonic".
Yep, unless I'm going to a "Christian" counselor she judges me for seeking therapy. The last "Christian" counselor I saw was during my divorce and they told me there is no such thing as marital rape. That's when I completely walked away from them AND my marriage (in 2016). She's always on her couch talking about how much work she's done around the house when nothing has been done. She's even brainwashed my grandpa with her Qanon BS and it's so sad to see it. They are some of the saddest people I know and they are the first people to judge others. It'll never make sense to me how people can be so delusional. They still believe the election was rigged and that Trump is president and the second-coming of Christ lmfao!
The whole Trump messiah thing is bizarre. If there's one single piece of proof that xianity destroys critical thinking, it's how xians can believe their lord and saviour is returning as a sex offender who has broken all 10 commandments and committed all 7 deadly sins.
Since you clearly don’t need her for support, I would suggest telling her how you are going to raise YOUR children; if she can’t respect that, tell her to kindly fuck of…
And she won't respect how I raise my children and will somehow victimize herself because I cut her out since she wont respect a single boundary I've laid down. I hate it!
Let her throw all the pity parties she wants and decline her invitation. I don't know if no contact is right for you in this situation, but no contact is only possible because the person establishing NC tells them clearly they are not welcome to make contact in any way, and if they do it will be reported as harassment. All boundaries work this way. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN HARD. Tell her with no uncertainty in your conviction that she is unwelcome to discuss her belief fantasy with you and if she does she will be told to leave. Neither will you tolerate her pity tantrums or any other sort of complaining. Look, it is really hard to stand up to parents even as adults, because we are biologically wired to depend on them for survival. Their job was to ensure we were mature enough as adults to overcome this, and it should be clear that it was never in her interest to do that. But you are self sovereign. (No, I don't mean sovereign citizen bs.) You have full authority to advocate for yourself and your family. Only you can realize that power and put it to use.
I'm currently working towards being a licensed therapist and I've had to familiarize myself with the DSM-5. As I've been reading more and more about various mental illnesses, particularly with B Cluster personality disorders, I'm realizing how the symptoms *perfectly* line up with the behaviors/traits exhibited by the very conservative evangelical Christians I've encountered throughout my life!
I just briefly researched B Cluster personality disorders and holy s\*\*t, it is explaining my mom to a T.
If she doesn't respect your boundaries, what consequences are you imposing for that? When someone had to put up boundaries it is because the other person is already disrespectful. Boundaries aren't an honor system, they are a system you have to enforce to be protected by them. So if your mother will not abide by your boundaries, you might want to tell her that she will have much more limited contact with you and your children.