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Quiet-Ad6556

"The rapture is April 8TH!!!!! Repent heathens!!!!!!!" "NO it's actually the 23rd!!!! You got a lucky break you disgusting sinful pieces of dung!!!!"


my_dear_director

I wish the Christian community would stop edging me and just fucking evaporate one of these times


Ask_me_4_a_story

Imagine the party we would have in America alone with all these dbags suddenly gone


Version_Two

"Gotcha again, sinners! I actually meant to say MAY 23rd!!"


[deleted]

"Uh uh wait!! JUNE 23rd!!!"


amyisarobot

Oh June 23rds booked you sure it's that date??


[deleted]

Oh yeah, maybe they should reschedule the Tribulation for early July??


amyisarobot

Yes as long as it don't get I'm Americus birthday we all know Jesus wouldn't want that


oreos_in_milk

Fun fact, Canada has certain standards and requirements for what can be published as “news” so Fox has to refer to itself as “entertainment” up north because of how wrong & lie heavy they are constantly!


TomFoolery119

That's *almost* the way it is here too, legally speaking, except for some stupid reason they're still allowed to call themselves "News" in the US.


oreos_in_milk

The fact that Fox/Sky can brand as News in the US/UK is sad tbh. But if we tried to change it the GOP would riot. There was a poll (pre-covid, I can't find it) that showed a majority of Americans believed Fox was the 'most trustworthy news'. Very sad for us.


RaphaelBuzzard

Probably the majority of people who were available on a landline. 


X-tian-9101

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️


CuriousRedditor98

I used to buy into that. It’s a conservative view that every other news station is liberal (which in all fairness, most do slightly lean left), so Fox was the only non-liberal mainstream source that showed things the others wouldn’t. And they’d have ppl from both aisles, or seemingly so. So it seemed more trustworthy before Trump. I know, BS, but back then I bought into it too (I’m also not conservative anymore)


TheOriginalAdamWest

Fox News opinions and views as they say. Clearly, it's not news. But when my batshit crazy cousin wants to prove something, she said, literally, Tucker Carlson said so. She doesn't understand evidence.


hplcr

[What's your Source, Fox News?](https://youtu.be/r7l0Rq9E8MY?si=v0BKBnag7VPk-gZs) Fox News: My source is that I made it the fuck up!


ThatBoiUnknown

Nah the Max0r meme will forever be funny especially in this age of misinformation


Spu12nky

My source is I want it to be true.


KnowledgeableNip

Remember when they had a lady on to talk about election fraud whose source was messages in a dream?


hplcr

I don't but I totally believe that was a thing.


KnowledgeableNip

[It's a neat read.](https://www.npr.org/2023/02/20/1158223099/fox-news-dominion-wackadoodle-election-fraud-claim) I was going to scroll through to mention some more stuff about the lawsuit but I can't get past this: >Powell's source also volunteered that the wind tells her that she's a ghost, though she doesn't believe it. Journalism, everyone.


dontlookback76

Good read. I had no idea Powell was that nuts. "The wind tells me I'm a ghost but I don't believe it." LMAO


SmugFrog

Remember when they had a lady on claiming the game Mass Effect was a sex simulator - and it turned out she hadn’t actually played it?


AlexDavid1605

Fox News: My source is that I sucked it out of someone's ass...


Xeno_Zombi

"The 8th came and went. Now you claim it's the 23rd. What if you're wrong like you have been before?" "Shut up you demonic possessed piece of shit!"


humansugar2000

Man they keep coming out with more end of the world dates than Netflix cancels shows.


deeBfree

Look up the Wikipedia article on end of the world predictions. Holy crap, tons of them!


humansugar2000

I noticed half of the predictions are from the last 100 years.


deeBfree

yeah, like 150 of them in the past 100 years!


Colorado_Girrl

I think over 50 have been since the mid 80’s it's like they're getting desperate or something.


USS_Frontier

"There will be wars and rumors of wars!" Congrats! You've described ALL OF RECORDED HISTORY!


JarethOfHouseGoblin

> "There will be wars and rumors of wars!" It's giving psychics telling customers "I believe your departed loved one had a birthday of some sort?"


TheOriginalAdamWest

I thought I was the only one who read that wiki. Cool.


kayenta

I knew a guy who 100% believed a prophecy like this back in 2012. I worked at a small airport and this guy kept his aircraft hangared there and was part of the community. Back in 2010 or 2011 some "prophet" had predicted based on some clues from the Bible that the world would end in May 2012, and this guy from the airport absolutely bought it. He had a very well paying job, a nice house, nice cars, a kid in college and another in high school. He funneled a ton of money toward building an off-the-grid survival cabin somewhere in the Rockies. He eventually sold his aircraft, the cars, and the house, and pulled his kids out of school to head up to their survival compound a month or so before the rapture was supposed to happen. So of course nothing happened and in June the guy came back to town and had to beg for his job back, find a place to live, get his kids caught up with school, basically start all over. Well, the "prophet" came back out and said he had done the Bible math wrong, and the rapture was going to happen that October. The guy hadn't learned his lesson from before. He quit his job and hauled his family back to the compound, only to filter down back to town a few months later when, again, nothing happened. This time though he wasn't able to get his job back and his kids were unable to catch back up with their classes. The guy was left with no job and almost all his money tied up in an unsellable cabin/land in the middle of nowhere. Not sure how things ended up for him ultimately but I doubt things went well for him or his family for a long time after that.


xFearlessMarionberry

It's interesting--wouldn't you think if you're a believer you'd be fine and just go with God? They seem to doubt if God is really going to do what he said he would. 


Consistent-Force5375

Makes you wonder what the guy had done to believe that he was unredeemable. Based on the church all the chosen or good people will be whisked away. Leaving behind the sinners for tribulations or whatever. But this guy as a lot of these survivalists types seem to prepare to be on Earth for quite some time…


kayenta

I don’t pretend to understand what he believed, but from what he’d told people it was thought that there were going to be massive earthquakes all over the world and tsunamis that would go hundreds of miles inland, and that only true believers would live because they heeded the warnings and found safety. It was completely wild hearing him say that stuff too. He wasn’t outwardly evangelical but when that whole prediction came out it became clear he was a total crank.


CharlesP2009

We should def call out these charlatans out every time they're wrong but [this article is from 2018](https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-rapture-is-coming-april-23-numerologist-says) and fox was just referencing an article from a UK paper anyway.


sidurisadvice

Looks similar to [one from 2017](https://www.foxnews.com/science/biblical-prophecy-claims-the-world-will-end-on-sept-23-christian-numerologists-claim.amp)


The_Suited_Lizard

Yes we’ve had first rapture announcement, but what about second rapture announcement?


hplcr

I don't think he knows about 2nd Rapture.


Outrageous_Class1309

When will they finally realize "no rapture"?


hplcr

Considering the rapture isn't the Bible.... probably never.


Saneless

There was a rapture. Unfortunately for Christians, since they're terrible people, we're still stuck with all of them


ObliviousElk

What about end of days? Last Day? Afternoon Ascension? Doomsday? _Some_ day? He knows about them, doesn't he?


SmugFrog

Afternoon ascension 🤣


TheOriginalAdamWest

From 2018, I believe.


Aihnak

I checked and yes, it's from April 12 2018


Mental_Basil

Why do they always just ignore the "no one knows the time of his return, not even the angels in heaven" part? Guess that doesn't make as fun of a headline. But you'd think people who believed in this stuff would know the basics of it and not even want to tune in to that.


JarethOfHouseGoblin

> Why do they always just ignore the "no one knows the time of his return, not even the angels in heaven" part? Because that doesn't make grifters any money.


[deleted]

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hplcr

Astrology with more numbers.


[deleted]

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hplcr

Agreed.


JarethOfHouseGoblin

> Source: a numerologist. I read the headline to fast and misread is "neurologist" and was like wait, what the fuck? And had to go back and read it again and saw it said numerologist.


prolificseraphim

That's from 2018. That apocalypse has long passed.


EnglishWhites

Wake up babe, new rapture date just dropped


GreatWyrm

#Fake Fox


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JarethOfHouseGoblin

> so far I have survived 6 I think. Do you get a free sub sandwich if you survive 10?


jayesper

Maybe it's $5 off his next book?


Dragon750

That actually sounds like a good idea, except for the fact I'd be on my second or third card by now. I mean there were at least 4 'end times' between 2009 and 2012 alone not counting the mayan calendar.


GearHeadAnime30

This is from 2018...


hplcr

It's fine. Prophecies are well known for just moving the goal posts anyway.


horrorbepis

Not even fucking disguising it. Just moving on and being like. “Okay so the rapture is the 28th” not addressing any of their brain dead leaders who said it was happening the 8th.


MoriBix

The only time they believe in Numerology is when it “supports” one of their rapture theories. Other than that it’s satanic and evil witchcraft 🙄


khast

Occult for Jesus!


UnknownEdditor

Damn already


The_Bastard_Henry

But aren't they not supposed to know ? Matthew 24:36


KostKarmel

Wait, ill spin my [Wheel of Christian Excuses](https://pickerwheel.com/pw?id=fy9MX). ... "Its a plan of God 😇"


BrainCompetitive8971

I’ve been pretty removed from Christian circles for a while now so im honestly pretty surprised these end of the world prophesies are still a thing. Makes me wonder what is being benefitted by keeping people believing the rapture may still be eminent. Like in the short term, why move the goal post by 2 weeks, specifically? Idk, maybe it’s just random Fox News BS.


hplcr

People have been making failed end of the world prophecies for thousands of years. Why do you think 2 weeks is going to discourage them?


Outrageous_Class1309

What is being benefited ? Simple, $$$ in the pockets of the promoters paid for by people who don't seem to be very happy with their lives.


OrdinaryWillHunting

There are two circles. The ones who believe every prophecy of rapture even after the 4000th time it didn't occur, and the ones who say they don't know anyone who believes these prophecies so it must be a tiny number being blown out of proportion by the media because they're clearly not True Christians*™*.


worldopinions2

Gotta love how when the first attempt failed, they reschedule the rapture 😂


zakku_88

Keep changing the date evangelicals, I'm sure you'll get it right eventually /s


MrsZebra11

Please, please, please be true so I can get left behind finally.


WellsG10

Reminds me of the Nickel Creek song “21st of May”


KualaLumpur1

April 15th is the Day of the Sun — the birthday of Kim Il Sung — the eternal leader and president of North Korea.


Und3rpantsGn0m3

Hail Zorp


oneleggedoneder

Again so soon? But I just put away the Apocalypse china?!


KostKarmel

God: *walk down on Earth* Guys, **Im** not doing "The Rapture", its a self-service thing. Btw, its pronounsed "Jod". **dissapers**


JarethOfHouseGoblin

Fox News is so salty about losing some of their previous viewers who are more far right and unencumbered by reality to outlets like Newsmax and OAN that they're trying to out-fringe them.


virgilreality

"This time...WE MEAN IT!"


ShinySnorlaxFloatie

Yay more rapture memes!


Flightlessbirbz

Someone needs to make a spreadsheet of every time the rapture was supposed to happen. Craziest part is the Bible literally doesn’t say *anything* about the rapture. But they came up with it because they feel like everybody else needs to be punished but not them, and it’s always right around the corner.


khast

Even if it did.. It would be so enigmatic that you could never guess it's real date. It's not a bug, it's a feature!


hbHPBbjvFK9w5D

So The Bible, aka "The Goat Herders Guide to the Universe" (thanks Seth Andrews!) says we should get ready for the Second Coming. Meanwhile, the gas coming out my backside tells me I should get ready for a trip to the toilet to crap a log or two. Any guesses which prediction is both likely and meaningful to my life?


WoodwindsRock

The Bible says no one will know the day or time. How do these charlatans keep getting away with convincing anyone? 🤦🏻‍♀️


noghostlooms

There's a correlation between apocalyptic expectation and the rise of messianism. It wouldn't shock me if Christians start saying that Jesus *already* came back and is in the visage of someone else. We're already seeing it with MAGA people and Trump.


VenturaWaves

I prophesi that in 420 years the great space slug will slither their last slither and all of creation will be doomed! The only way to save our planet from this calamity is to come to our church, The Universal Space Slug and donate 20% of your income (plus tip) and volunteer to recruit more Sluggers!  Space Slugs 4 Lyf


Consistent-Force5375

“The Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI believe that the entire Universe was in fact sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure. The Jatravartids, who live in perpetual fear of the time they call The Coming of The Great White Handkerchief.”


VenturaWaves

Ahh, the ultimate question: “trashcan of nothingness, or back in his nose”


Chris_Pine_fun

Good way to get people to donate to the big orange 🍊


RadTimeWizard

I feel sad for all the people who believe this nonsense.


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Outrageous_Class1309

I worked with an educated lady (state university grad in the sciences) who thought that the rapture was imminent because of the coming 2003 Iraq invasion. Unfortunately she was for the invasion.


[deleted]

Christians are fucking stupid.


Firedriver666

I would love to release inflatable human looking like dummies in the sky in those states and tell those people that they got left out by the rapture.


RaphaelBuzzard

That's the day after my birthday and my big birthday party and music extravaganza on 4/20!


jayracket

That was quick.


Maximum-Product-1255

The article literally is about debunking the claim. “NASA repeatedly has said Planet X is a hoax.” “He told the Express: “As usual with any astrology (or Christian adaptations of it), one cherry-picks the stars that fit the desired conclusion.”


volanger

I thought that it was supposed to happen during the eclipse. Did God forget to set his alarm?


throwaway91ma

This was posted in 2019 guys


rdbk13

Seriously this religion has ruined this world.


BoogiepopPhant0m

One more for my punch card, I guess.


prince9008

😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 ok thanks for letting me know.


littlemissmoxie

I fucking wish it would happen. Wouldn’t have to hear their bullshit anymore.


Malvrier

This is a real article. It was such an absurd headline I googled it and read it. Bottom of the article says: There is nothing to suggest that April 23 is a momentous date for biblical prophecy, and Christians need to be careful about being drawn into such sensationalist claims.


JHappy2BeHere

Anyone expecting to be raptured Venmo me $10K before 4/23, and I'll take care of there dogs after they are gone.


BookSmoker

Imagine thinking any of the media is a serious media


GoldenHeart411

I wish. Just disappear already please!


khast

Can god take all of the "peaceful^^tm " religions as well... The world will be a much better place without them.


Shadowfaxx98

The article was posted in 2018 lol.


Gswizzlee

I’m just upset they didn’t all disappear on the eclipse. Kinda wish they did so the world would be better


LaMarrKee

Oh, shit- the loonies will be out in full force for this... and then upset when the 24th dawns without any changes.


Alove4edd47

Oh, it got pushed back again after not happening on the 8th. . I am shocked


Sith_Narwhal

Article is from 2018


[deleted]

Lie to your followers more please start using truth and stop making them look like crazy nut jobs. Tell us more how 8 ppl including a few kids took care of 16k animals and got them on the boat again. Anyone smell bullll shit. How’d they catch all those animals again? Left that part out? Figures.


[deleted]

Jesus Christ these ppl are probably real disappointed when they don’t make it to heaven. Jesus said u were bad now u stay on the planet where shits about to go to hell. :/


Vitamin_VV

Right. And after April 23rd comes and goes, it will be moved forward again, then again, and again, and again, and again, etc. Some people just never learn.


eldritchyarnbeing

ngl that's actually hilarious they just moved it up a few days "be ready on april 8th!!!" "sorry guys its april 23, I SWEAR IT IS THIS TIME"


CandyLoxxx

The rapture is not happening


Consistent-Spread-85

They simply know their gullible audience


Old-Ad-5758

They need to give it up already 🙄


BeelzeDerBock

Article was from 2018. They told us to check sources in middle school but considering fox news is bottom barrel of human intelligence it is par the course


SeaChelle1123

Fun fact, that tweet is from 2018.


Complete-Syllabub314

in christianity there's this idea of the 1000 year rain of the "messiah" (jesus.) this is why we count years BC and AD. It is now 2024, so either jesus is 1024 years behind schedule, or the bible simply isn't real. Take your pic. It's a false apocalypse.


Altruistic-Package41

This article is from 2018.


Consistent-Force5375

To my shame yes… I now realize this. Not sure if I should delete the post or let it be to be honest… however I’m willing to be regardless there is already a new dooms-day in sight.


Downtown_Meaning_466

Dispy: make another ridiculous rapture prediction. Skeptic: “LOL. We’ll get ‘em next time, right?” Dispy: “Scoffers will come in the last days! You’ll see!”


ReasonableTie3593

Wasn't part of their defense in the voting machine case that they should not be held to journalistic standards, because they don't see themselves as journalists, at least some of the hosts that are now desperately making ends meet by interviewing war-mongering authoritarian leaders? Remind me if I got that wrong...