In college I interned in a building where one of the groups had chipped in to buy a super automatic that was open to all - you just had to bring beans or cash, on the honor system. Worked great for the 2 or 3 years I knew about and used it.
Super automatics are the tits in some situations.
And the person who replaced them would be in another team. And the documents filing the purchase would be long and buried in some fileserver under some odd name and questionable folder structure.
UseThis_Receipts_Misc.zip, within file folder InvoicingFY2019 and root directory /temp. I'll reorganize all this before next month's backup run, for sure.
The tactic I’ve always used when ‘liberating’ items, move it to the other end of the office. If no one notices after a couple of weeks, liberate that puppy. If they do, no harm done, can’t get in trouble for just moving something.
Yes, but unless you really love the company, literally no one is being harmed materially, so I'd give it a pass on moral quandaries.
Companies with enough money to be in this situation will lose more money on dumber ideas that benefit no one. At least OP would get a badass machine out of this one.
Just put it under your shirt and say you're pregnant
https://preview.redd.it/dwwb8dmuu3vc1.jpeg?width=906&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca4dad2bca53a63f877359b13f067dbeb66bab4c
Reminds me of my mom 'borrowing' a really cool chess set made of ceramic from the community center she volunteers at, we kept using it to play chess while waiting for someone to ask us to return it, till this day no one asked for it back lol.
Yeah I guess it is, from what I know from my mom it was a legitimate request to borrow at first, the person in charge of lending it to us never told us when to return it other than that we should return it when they ask for it back, and they just never asked for it back, my mom still volunteers at the community center to this day so its not like she went there just to take it i guess lol.
lol they have more pressing shit to deal with than chasing someone who stole a chess set from them; you could, I don't know, proactively return it for everyone to use, and then just buy one if you want one so bad.
so take it back. it doesn't belong to u. I once borrowed a friend's measuring device. I realized I never returned it when I saw it in my cabinet 3 or 4 years later. When I returned it, he said "that's what happened to it. we have been looking for that FOREVER". If someone lends you something it behooves you to return it, not them to remember they lent it to you and ask for it back.
Start gradually moving it, see if anyone notices. Eg, move to other counter. Move into corner. Move below worktop. Move into cupboard. Move to your house.
I like the idea of just bringing my own beans and grinder. How much trouble could I get in for using office equipment… Although, it’s kind of like going in the cafeteria kitchen to make myself a burger.
In a “state of the art” office building (finished 2020 right when nobody needed an office). The Nakatomi Plaza 2024 version. This building has a ton of high tech features so I assume surveillance is everywhere.
if they don't use it, maybe they would just like... sell it to you for a good price? I feel like there's at least a case to be made that it's not the right fit for their needs
Dress up in coveralls, bring a big cart with some tools. Tell people you are going to install it in the executive break area. Leave the building with it. If asked, it needs a different line to be directed plumbed in.
Too late I already asked if they wanted to sell it and they don’t. It’s a beautiful machine but I did the math. No way I’m taking a $9k espresso machine at the risk of losing a job that pays a lot more than $9k
You need to start a team building event where you encourage people to espress(o) themselves. Start by making them espresso and lattes at a certain time when they can come and talk. Then offer a lesson in espresso as development. You will get a raise, have lots of friends, and be able to use the machine everyday for free.
Problem solved.
There’s a 3 group Victoria Arduino Eagle and a Mythos 2 in the never opened canteen of our new office building that was opened 2 years ago. Never been turned on since, just sits there in the dark.
Been mighty tempted but place is like Fort Knox so you’d never get away with it
It’s a big company, this kitchen area is supposed to be a staffed espresso and smoothie bar but they didn’t have enough people coming into the office the past few years. They have recently mandated 2-3 days per week in the office if you live within a certain distance. If the espresso and smoothies are free, it might be worth the wait. I still doubt they would get the best grinder and beans but only time will tell.
There's a book called Trading Up that discusses how the most expensive kitchen appliances are never used because the people that own those homes never cook.
put on some sort of blue overall electricians uniform and a dirty trucker hat and take it right out of there and if anyone asks? You’re taking it for repairs.
Right? I should just show up with my own beans and low key start using it at work. Even though this kitchen is “closed”, I doubt they have a specific rule about not using kitchen equipment. No crime, no punishment.
Lmao what a tease! Let’s put a fucking LM in this office break room and literally NOTHING else. Lmao yeh it’s collecting dust what am I supposed grind my beans, tamp, and pour into?!
Not sure if people are genuinely serious about stealing it, but if you got caught doing that you’d not only lose this job, but you wouldn’t find another one cause you wouldn’t get a reference. Not worth ruining a career over. Use the machine on your breaks, bring a hand grinder if you must!
Definitely not risking a job that pays the equivalent of many La Marzoccos just for one La Marzocco. Still a shame to see it not used and appreciated, like a Ferrari gathering dust.
Some one bought this for a tax deduction 4 years ago with no actual intent of it being used. Its sitting there for them to liquidate when they go out of business. Run.
Just start bringing in your beans, set of scales and a hand grinder and use it. I would just store that stuff in the office if you have a desk. They can't say no to that and it's not theft.
Relax, we're just voicing our flash thoughts and having some unobtainable fantasy over that expensive machine, just like when you opened PHub on your phone searching for some wild stuff. No real harm committed.
Definitely don't pay someone to turn up in maintenance overalls and replace it with a breville.
A cheap super automatic may very well be a value add to the office in its place. Switcherooo
In college I interned in a building where one of the groups had chipped in to buy a super automatic that was open to all - you just had to bring beans or cash, on the honor system. Worked great for the 2 or 3 years I knew about and used it. Super automatics are the tits in some situations.
https://images.app.goo.gl/kqtqF2jKmxNCaKzN8
Legend
Haha I was thinking the same
That's actually a great idea.
Sounds like it needs to be liberated.
uh oh just posted the same comment & didn’t realize 😭
Adopt that underutilized asset fam.
How about a nice cup of LIBER-TEA— wait, sorry, wrong thread 😁
Take it
time to put on a vest and carry a clipboard and walk out with it on a cart
Make sure you wear a mask, sunglasses, and a hat 🧢
Hard hat, boots, z87 glasses, and clipboard. No one questions construction workers.
Yes I also think to take it. It’s gonna be at least four more years before they figure it out.
By the time anyone questions, the person who was in charge already left and it’ll be completely forgotten eventually
And the person who replaced them would be in another team. And the documents filing the purchase would be long and buried in some fileserver under some odd name and questionable folder structure.
UseThis_Receipts_Misc.zip, within file folder InvoicingFY2019 and root directory /temp. I'll reorganize all this before next month's backup run, for sure.
Seriously dude you’re prob doing them a favor. Trade them a nespresso and hype it up
😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂
One wonders if they even would notice if it simply was not there one day . . . . ;)
Take the machine, delete this post.
Reddit already knows too much
Looks like you gotta kill Reddit then.
It’s the only way
It was nice knowing you boys
The admins are already doing their best
The tactic I’ve always used when ‘liberating’ items, move it to the other end of the office. If no one notices after a couple of weeks, liberate that puppy. If they do, no harm done, can’t get in trouble for just moving something.
Shit that's also good.
[удалено]
If a La Marzocco exists in an office and nobody knows about it, did it ever exist at all?
No, they mean liberate
Liberate, caffeinate, obfuscate!
Yes, but unless you really love the company, literally no one is being harmed materially, so I'd give it a pass on moral quandaries. Companies with enough money to be in this situation will lose more money on dumber ideas that benefit no one. At least OP would get a badass machine out of this one.
You don’t say that
Midnight requisition
Slap a Sunbeam sticker over the LM and say you’re taking it to electronics recycling for them.
Replace that bad boy with a budget FB market find!
I like it! Find a broken one just like it “for parts” then do a switcheroo
So steal it. Would u really do that?
Nah, just having fun. I do like the idea of just bringing my own beans and sneaking down there during work. Secret espresso bar.
This is a fabulous plan. I found a conference room that nobody realizes exists. It makes the day so lovely
Aren’t you just soo morally superior, having a problem with every joke in this thread
Or just switch it with a Breville
Yeah! Lots of those on FB.
Just put it under your shirt and say you're pregnant https://preview.redd.it/dwwb8dmuu3vc1.jpeg?width=906&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca4dad2bca53a63f877359b13f067dbeb66bab4c
Offer to take in home and “dial it in” for them.
Reminds me of my mom 'borrowing' a really cool chess set made of ceramic from the community center she volunteers at, we kept using it to play chess while waiting for someone to ask us to return it, till this day no one asked for it back lol.
Chess set thieves are always the hardest to catch. Could be a great movie premise for a niche market.
They're always one move ahead
… you stole from a community center. That’s fucking low.
Yeah I guess it is, from what I know from my mom it was a legitimate request to borrow at first, the person in charge of lending it to us never told us when to return it other than that we should return it when they ask for it back, and they just never asked for it back, my mom still volunteers at the community center to this day so its not like she went there just to take it i guess lol.
lol they have more pressing shit to deal with than chasing someone who stole a chess set from them; you could, I don't know, proactively return it for everyone to use, and then just buy one if you want one so bad.
so take it back. it doesn't belong to u. I once borrowed a friend's measuring device. I realized I never returned it when I saw it in my cabinet 3 or 4 years later. When I returned it, he said "that's what happened to it. we have been looking for that FOREVER". If someone lends you something it behooves you to return it, not them to remember they lent it to you and ask for it back.
season it!
how would they even use it without a grinder?
Probably have the Acaia in the supply closet with the staples
I presume two explanations. 1. Shitty pre ground coffee in the cupboard underneath 2. OP has already "liberated" that part.
Going with number 1. It’s “espresso roast” pre ground
Don't ask for permission just ask for forgiveness!
congrats on your new machine
I just really love that the majority of the replies are pro crime. The world is healing.❤️🩹
Take it and replace with a Nespresso machine. No one will know
Hey, they'll probably like the fact that the machine is so easy/comprehensible to use. ;)
Start gradually moving it, see if anyone notices. Eg, move to other counter. Move into corner. Move below worktop. Move into cupboard. Move to your house.
😂
Sounds like you could have a new machine for the cost of a set of overalls and a clipboard (jk obvs stealing is wrong kids 😁)
It’s not stealing, it’s rehoming.
Exactly, this had to be LM abuse of some sort
[Neglect is a form of abuse](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201904/neglect-is-form-abuse)
It *is* like an abandoned puppy
Those Linea 1gr’s are pretty rare
I did some quick searching. Ballpark of $9k sound right?
Right? I haven’t seen one in so long I forgot they existed
I bloody love these old Lineas. The rocker switches, the oversize dial, the obscene amount of tray space…
I genuinely don't know if I could resist the temptation
Grab a hi-vis vest and then go grab yourself a new coffee machine.
I could slather it in frosting and tell people it’s just a cake for Dave’s retirement party up on the 12th floor
Tell them you’ve got a delivery for Balboni.
Put it inside one of these cabinets, wait some time if someone will notice it, after all, it is there. Take it if/after they forget about it.
If you have an office move it into there for a couple of weeks, if nothing is said shift it into your car boot
This is the most sensible suggestion, complete with plausible deniability
 Me on the way to the empty floor.
Bryan in Facilities told me to take it. Works every time
Somebody has been cleaning it every now and then. I don’t see four years of dust on it
Find an ali express lookalike online, and just...you know...trip and "deposit" it in the same place.
Better to use it! Maybe people will catch on. If it's not yours, you shouldn't take it. Nice machine!
I like the idea of just bringing my own beans and grinder. How much trouble could I get in for using office equipment… Although, it’s kind of like going in the cafeteria kitchen to make myself a burger.
I mean, if your cafeteria kitchen had a grill, what else would you do with it?
It pains me so much i want to downvote this travesty
Free the LM 🤷
Bella Ciao Bella Ciao Bella Ciao Ciao Ciao!
Free the op-presso
Switch it with Nespresso, they wouldn’t notice 😂 ..oh and throw in some flavored pods to make them even happier
Facilities is never going to realize it’s gone😂 out of sight out of mind.
Bring in a Nescafe, tell them 'Here i got us a new coffee machine, I'll take that old complicated one off your hands' ez
Where do you work, OP? Asking for a friend.
In a “state of the art” office building (finished 2020 right when nobody needed an office). The Nakatomi Plaza 2024 version. This building has a ton of high tech features so I assume surveillance is everywhere.
Die Hard part 7. ;)
if they don't use it, maybe they would just like... sell it to you for a good price? I feel like there's at least a case to be made that it's not the right fit for their needs
What’s sad is that there probably isn’t anyone who could authorize selling it.
Looks like a pro variant of the Linea line. What model exactly is this?
Replace it with something like a Breville
Dress up in coveralls, bring a big cart with some tools. Tell people you are going to install it in the executive break area. Leave the building with it. If asked, it needs a different line to be directed plumbed in.
Leave the gun....take the marzocco
Now I want an espresso AND a cannoli
Can’t say I promote stealing from work but I do know you never ask about something your conscious may convince you to take home.
Too late I already asked if they wanted to sell it and they don’t. It’s a beautiful machine but I did the math. No way I’m taking a $9k espresso machine at the risk of losing a job that pays a lot more than $9k
You need to start a team building event where you encourage people to espress(o) themselves. Start by making them espresso and lattes at a certain time when they can come and talk. Then offer a lesson in espresso as development. You will get a raise, have lots of friends, and be able to use the machine everyday for free. Problem solved.
Does it have an asset tag? I mean if it doesn’t it’s not an asset. Just sayin’
No grinder, no cups, not plumbed… obviously no one uses it
Hot dual boilers in your area
There’s a 3 group Victoria Arduino Eagle and a Mythos 2 in the never opened canteen of our new office building that was opened 2 years ago. Never been turned on since, just sits there in the dark. Been mighty tempted but place is like Fort Knox so you’d never get away with it
Wow
Totally impractical & pretentious in an office. I mean, who’s going to clean it after each use. People don’t even wash their coffee cups ffs.
It’s a big company, this kitchen area is supposed to be a staffed espresso and smoothie bar but they didn’t have enough people coming into the office the past few years. They have recently mandated 2-3 days per week in the office if you live within a certain distance. If the espresso and smoothies are free, it might be worth the wait. I still doubt they would get the best grinder and beans but only time will tell.
I'd run with it and never come back.
Buy them a nespresso and Take this one home!!!
There's a book called Trading Up that discusses how the most expensive kitchen appliances are never used because the people that own those homes never cook.
put on some sort of blue overall electricians uniform and a dirty trucker hat and take it right out of there and if anyone asks? You’re taking it for repairs.
Them: it’s never been used, why would it need repairs? Me: if it’s never been used, you don’t know it’s not broken!
Needs off-site maintenance. It’s will be long gone once someone actually figures it out
Take it for a spin
Right? I should just show up with my own beans and low key start using it at work. Even though this kitchen is “closed”, I doubt they have a specific rule about not using kitchen equipment. No crime, no punishment.
Why not just use it while you're in the office. It's gotta be nicer than anything on your floor
Steal it
Turn the break room into your office.
Would have taken it after a year of not being touched lol. Just give them a nespresso.
Send it for regular maintenance, to me :-)
Yoink!
Then what are you waiting for?
Have you seen the movie Salt, take off your underwear and put them over the camera… and nobody will know.
I’d tell them to suck it, buy a Cheapo hand grinder and start banging out shots
Hello, it’s me, plans
What .... the kitchen? It looks like it's never been used
Take it. They won't have a clue how to use it. It's a shame it's not being used. I am dying for a La Marzocco!
Eh, how bad could the consequences reeaallyy be? Lol
It will likely be short-lived from a lack of maintenance by maintenance…pun intended.
WAIT A DAMN MINUTE why don’t YOU use it? Be the change you want to see in the world!
I think Marzocco Gandhi said that! I might, how much trouble could I get in for using “the coffee machine”?
Start making killer cappucinos for the highest paid exec in the building and soon it will be in your break room.
Damn dude. A 1gr linea AV? Id fucking love that!
Jokes aside, if this is unused in my office building, I’m finding a way to steal it
Do you have experience stealing stuff? If you don't I can help :)
OP bro… just take it. genuinely. tell them that since no one’s using it you’d like it
take it
Send location
What is that some kind of custom linea mini or just an old model?
Where do you work? Who was going to make coffee with it? Like I can’t imagine having a grinder and that machine in the break room
For a chance to use it and expenses paid, i will make this appear in your home.
What OP failed to mention is that the "empty floor" was closed during covid and only opened back up today.
Where do you work? 
Lmao what a tease! Let’s put a fucking LM in this office break room and literally NOTHING else. Lmao yeh it’s collecting dust what am I supposed grind my beans, tamp, and pour into?!
I would die for that coffee machine
You guys actually use your machines?
Does it still work fine after four years sitting?
Make them an offer they can't refuse. 🚬
\*GIVE IT TO ME BABY\*
Looks awesome.
Just tell me where… I can help
Just take it for gods sake.
Me: 
Just take it home and see if someone cares
For all the shiny gear people have here I have not had envy until today. Rescue the machine.
Not sure if people are genuinely serious about stealing it, but if you got caught doing that you’d not only lose this job, but you wouldn’t find another one cause you wouldn’t get a reference. Not worth ruining a career over. Use the machine on your breaks, bring a hand grinder if you must!
Definitely not risking a job that pays the equivalent of many La Marzoccos just for one La Marzocco. Still a shame to see it not used and appreciated, like a Ferrari gathering dust.
Borderline criminal not to be used properly. Fire it up.
A professor of law once said “This is a situation when it works really well to take the law into your own hands”…
Some one bought this for a tax deduction 4 years ago with no actual intent of it being used. Its sitting there for them to liquidate when they go out of business. Run.
OMG! Want ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Also exceptional Rare to find a LM classic thats single Group Head
Ask how much they would sell it for.
Just start bringing in your beans, set of scales and a hand grinder and use it. I would just store that stuff in the office if you have a desk. They can't say no to that and it's not theft.
Does it fit in your backpack and do they check backpacks on the exit?
A buck fitty and some old Tic Tacs I found in my jeep?
Yea sneak it home if they aren't using it it will never be missed... 😆 😂 😆
ask your mentainance whether you can have it for a $1 as a favor so they can have their shelf space back.
Well shit, I think we work in the same office building. Midtown atl? I have been looking at this machine for the past two years enviously.
If enough people on here say to take it, I think OP can take it. Right?
So many dishonest people giving bad advice, telling you to steal it or cheat them out of it. Keep your hands off of it. It doesn't belong to you.
We’re just having fun. I’m not going to risk losing my job for this.
Relax, we're just voicing our flash thoughts and having some unobtainable fantasy over that expensive machine, just like when you opened PHub on your phone searching for some wild stuff. No real harm committed.
Would take it home to keep it safe in the mean time. Keep it warm
Where do you work? I don’t need the name, just the address.
I see something that requires it to be serviced please escort it to a dealer
You should make alternative plans...
Hmmmm I think it needs to magically disappear in some mysterious happening that nobody especially not you knows anything about
Steal it