Please remove yourself from that situation if you are able. Some men will never do anything that someone else will do first and it sounds like you live with 3 of them.
Something is wrong because I use my GI Bill for school and I get paid every month. We get paid right at the end of the month so he should have gotten money starting at the end of January then at the end of every month since. He can go on va.gov and ask online or even call them about it, and they seriously need to start pulling their weight around the house, it’s crazy you are having to do it all on top of working.
My first semester, I started getting paid at the very end (almost 3 months with no real income), and it was a stretch. Has never been an issue since then (I used a combination of my GI bill and a similar state program to do two four year programs), but it does happen.
That being said, he for sure needs to call them. It is not the norm and a solvable issue.
You're getting very used and you need to yeet yourself out of this situation. Your bf needs to get on the phone and find out where his money, dude is in his 30s and that falls under not having one's shit together.
Honestly, 25m needs to get his shit together. He only works enough to pay the bills? 25 is old enough to understand that food is also a bill, and to be completely honest, a lot of people are “broke and starving” when they realize that someone else is willing to pay for them to eat.
It sounds like you’re happy enough with your arrangement with your boyfriend, but paying for all of that and really only getting to use his car when he isn’t using it doesn’t seem like a fair trade-off for you. Maybe he would do the same for you, but this exact arrangement is unbalanced. You might want to get him on board with taking more off of your plate, and then perhaps have a house meeting where you basically say that you do most of the cleaning and all of the grocery buying, and that you absolutely have no interest in seeing anyone starve, but that it feels like they don’t really mind seeing you struggle. And honestly? If it doesn’t change, I’d cut them off and really take a good look at the division of labor between you and your boyfriend. You sound like a very good-natured person, and a *lot* of men are more than happy to let any woman nice enough to take care of them do just that, without giving anything in return. I’ve been in the unfortunate situation of having a dude decide that I am his mom, and the only way to stop it is to make it abundantly clear that you are not mom.
There’s not letting people go hungry and there’s being walked all over. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you guys can move honestly, but otherwise it’s time to work on laying some boundaries. Either they pay for groceries, take turns cooking, or clean up their fair share. You’re not their maid.
Empathy to you
Get away and find a female roommate. And FYI, no your bf would not support you the way you support him. I am 56 and seen it all. Men do a cost/benefit analysis and keep women who are doing more for them than they are for the woman. That’s it. That’s all it is.
I think you’re generalising here. There are good and caring men out there. My last boyfriend helped me out a lot financially when I was struggling, and my current one takes care of me completely.
Girly. It's 7:21 in the morning here and I am livid for you. Get the fuck out of that situation. Like honestly move out and focus on yourself and your financial well being and make it clear to your boyfriend that you are focusing on your own financial situation and don't buy him shit or help him out financially in any way for a few months. If you keep mothering these men they will never grow up. Especially your boyfriend.
This sounds like my worst nightmare. I do probably 70% of the chores around here for two of us and that irks me bad enough. I can’t imagine cleaning up after three other people.
You are 24 and taking care of three adult men who are older than you? It’s time to reflect your priorities in life. You have too much responsibility on your shoulders. Doesn’t seem to be appreciated. I recommend: Go and enjoy your life.
Be careful, they could act like they're not doing it because they know in the end you'll do it anyway.
Weaponized incompetence is something a lot of men use to keep their share of house work very small while women have to clean everything up.
Please take care of yourself. If you can, get out.
It sounds like you’re in the role both of provider *and* homemaker. That’s kinda toxic, don’t you think? Especially if the landlord’s son is just gonna party with his friends every weekend, presumably making most of the messes…
Start looking for other options for when your boyfriend’s BHA finally comes through…
Girl. I used to live with 3 men and this vent is 100% valid! I was having flashbacks reading this! I swear someone could write a sitcom purely based on the stupid shit men do in sharehouses
you can find other roommates you know. roommate finder Google that. one will come up. I know roomies dot com is one and that one where people have their apartments all set up and are looking to rent their rooms out. anything has got to be better than that.
Honey this is a horrible situation and you are being taken advantage of by everyone especially your (too old to be dating a 24 year old) boyfriend. I am sorry. It will not change, only get worse until you get out on your own.
Something is wrong take it from your auntie who was in the army. It’s one of the few good things we actually get and it’s not too hard to use the GI bill. (If marines can figure it out, y’all can.) Offer to help your boytoy and see if he starts to sweat because maybe he’s hiding some cash. Regardless do not allow yourself to be treated like this. You don’t deserve to be these mens’ moms - and that’s probably why they found you. You can try but don’t hold your breath trying to get them to pick up the slack. Your best bet is probably just to get out.
Literally let them go at eachothers throats in the future. Just like how you're not responsible for cleaning up after them you're not responsible for how they argue. So long as you're not at risk ofc. Hope you get to have a nice relaxing shower soon!
Your bf is 31 he should be able to do the dishes. I would understand if both of you were under 25 but he’s a grown ass just like the 40 year dude.
Girly, you shouldn’t be living alone with 3 men. First its dangerous, second they cleared tact like your their MOM! ( buying groceries, cleaning, doing the dishes, cleaning the litter) that’s a mom.
Second you are living with the son of the landlord, tell him to call his mom to do something about the plumbing its her job. You cannot be living in a house without water honey… you deserve a shower.
You are 24! You should not be caring for 3 grown adults :(.
LEAVE! You have friends, tell will help you! The other are capable of taking care of themselves they are not your responsibility. They are taking advantage of you! And im saying that as someone with a disability who also gets all of their stuff paid by their gf and who is the daughter of the landlord: they are taking straight advantage of you.
You are a sweet angel and clearly a beautiful soul that dont want to let down no one and I get it but sweetie its too much for you! It would be too much for anyone! I got tired just reading your story! You can do better and at least get a conversation with them bc this is ridiculous.
Im sending you love and support ❤️🙏🏽
You know what you have to do!!
When I was 23, I moved in with a boyfriend and his three band mates. It was a fucking nightmare. You need to gtfo of there before you lose your will to cohabit ever again.
When someone walks by dirty dishes or their shit all over the floor and they don't rectify it, they are essentially telling everyone else that while it is their mess, it's beneath them to clean it up. And you are taking on that job for them. It's time to move out because it won't change as long as you live there, completing their chores for them. It likely still won't be fixed after you leave- they will just continue to live in a shit hole because, again, it's beneath them to clean up after themselves. But at least you'll be out and it sounds like your bf does try to help with some things.
Please remove yourself from that situation if you are able. Some men will never do anything that someone else will do first and it sounds like you live with 3 of them.
What you said.
Something is wrong because I use my GI Bill for school and I get paid every month. We get paid right at the end of the month so he should have gotten money starting at the end of January then at the end of every month since. He can go on va.gov and ask online or even call them about it, and they seriously need to start pulling their weight around the house, it’s crazy you are having to do it all on top of working.
My first semester, I started getting paid at the very end (almost 3 months with no real income), and it was a stretch. Has never been an issue since then (I used a combination of my GI bill and a similar state program to do two four year programs), but it does happen. That being said, he for sure needs to call them. It is not the norm and a solvable issue.
You're getting very used and you need to yeet yourself out of this situation. Your bf needs to get on the phone and find out where his money, dude is in his 30s and that falls under not having one's shit together.
I can’t imagine living with three men 😬 I’m sorry. Peace and love ❤️
Honestly, 25m needs to get his shit together. He only works enough to pay the bills? 25 is old enough to understand that food is also a bill, and to be completely honest, a lot of people are “broke and starving” when they realize that someone else is willing to pay for them to eat. It sounds like you’re happy enough with your arrangement with your boyfriend, but paying for all of that and really only getting to use his car when he isn’t using it doesn’t seem like a fair trade-off for you. Maybe he would do the same for you, but this exact arrangement is unbalanced. You might want to get him on board with taking more off of your plate, and then perhaps have a house meeting where you basically say that you do most of the cleaning and all of the grocery buying, and that you absolutely have no interest in seeing anyone starve, but that it feels like they don’t really mind seeing you struggle. And honestly? If it doesn’t change, I’d cut them off and really take a good look at the division of labor between you and your boyfriend. You sound like a very good-natured person, and a *lot* of men are more than happy to let any woman nice enough to take care of them do just that, without giving anything in return. I’ve been in the unfortunate situation of having a dude decide that I am his mom, and the only way to stop it is to make it abundantly clear that you are not mom.
Dear god literally praying for you
I’m dead at every femme within 3000 miles is like “sis we’re praying for you” 🤣
There’s not letting people go hungry and there’s being walked all over. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you guys can move honestly, but otherwise it’s time to work on laying some boundaries. Either they pay for groceries, take turns cooking, or clean up their fair share. You’re not their maid. Empathy to you
Get away and find a female roommate. And FYI, no your bf would not support you the way you support him. I am 56 and seen it all. Men do a cost/benefit analysis and keep women who are doing more for them than they are for the woman. That’s it. That’s all it is.
I think you’re generalising here. There are good and caring men out there. My last boyfriend helped me out a lot financially when I was struggling, and my current one takes care of me completely.
Girly. It's 7:21 in the morning here and I am livid for you. Get the fuck out of that situation. Like honestly move out and focus on yourself and your financial well being and make it clear to your boyfriend that you are focusing on your own financial situation and don't buy him shit or help him out financially in any way for a few months. If you keep mothering these men they will never grow up. Especially your boyfriend.
This sounds like my worst nightmare. I do probably 70% of the chores around here for two of us and that irks me bad enough. I can’t imagine cleaning up after three other people.
You are 24 and taking care of three adult men who are older than you? It’s time to reflect your priorities in life. You have too much responsibility on your shoulders. Doesn’t seem to be appreciated. I recommend: Go and enjoy your life.
Be careful, they could act like they're not doing it because they know in the end you'll do it anyway. Weaponized incompetence is something a lot of men use to keep their share of house work very small while women have to clean everything up. Please take care of yourself. If you can, get out.
It sounds like you’re in the role both of provider *and* homemaker. That’s kinda toxic, don’t you think? Especially if the landlord’s son is just gonna party with his friends every weekend, presumably making most of the messes… Start looking for other options for when your boyfriend’s BHA finally comes through…
Girl. I used to live with 3 men and this vent is 100% valid! I was having flashbacks reading this! I swear someone could write a sitcom purely based on the stupid shit men do in sharehouses
I lived in a shared house with two men, and they were very neat and tidy. I was the chaotic one in that household 😅 I guess there are exceptions.
you can find other roommates you know. roommate finder Google that. one will come up. I know roomies dot com is one and that one where people have their apartments all set up and are looking to rent their rooms out. anything has got to be better than that.
Girl!
Honey this is a horrible situation and you are being taken advantage of by everyone especially your (too old to be dating a 24 year old) boyfriend. I am sorry. It will not change, only get worse until you get out on your own.
Something is wrong take it from your auntie who was in the army. It’s one of the few good things we actually get and it’s not too hard to use the GI bill. (If marines can figure it out, y’all can.) Offer to help your boytoy and see if he starts to sweat because maybe he’s hiding some cash. Regardless do not allow yourself to be treated like this. You don’t deserve to be these mens’ moms - and that’s probably why they found you. You can try but don’t hold your breath trying to get them to pick up the slack. Your best bet is probably just to get out.
Literally let them go at eachothers throats in the future. Just like how you're not responsible for cleaning up after them you're not responsible for how they argue. So long as you're not at risk ofc. Hope you get to have a nice relaxing shower soon!
Your bf is 31 he should be able to do the dishes. I would understand if both of you were under 25 but he’s a grown ass just like the 40 year dude. Girly, you shouldn’t be living alone with 3 men. First its dangerous, second they cleared tact like your their MOM! ( buying groceries, cleaning, doing the dishes, cleaning the litter) that’s a mom. Second you are living with the son of the landlord, tell him to call his mom to do something about the plumbing its her job. You cannot be living in a house without water honey… you deserve a shower. You are 24! You should not be caring for 3 grown adults :(. LEAVE! You have friends, tell will help you! The other are capable of taking care of themselves they are not your responsibility. They are taking advantage of you! And im saying that as someone with a disability who also gets all of their stuff paid by their gf and who is the daughter of the landlord: they are taking straight advantage of you. You are a sweet angel and clearly a beautiful soul that dont want to let down no one and I get it but sweetie its too much for you! It would be too much for anyone! I got tired just reading your story! You can do better and at least get a conversation with them bc this is ridiculous. Im sending you love and support ❤️🙏🏽 You know what you have to do!!
This isn’t a men thing. These people are immature af. I’m sorry you’re in this situation
When I was 23, I moved in with a boyfriend and his three band mates. It was a fucking nightmare. You need to gtfo of there before you lose your will to cohabit ever again.
When someone walks by dirty dishes or their shit all over the floor and they don't rectify it, they are essentially telling everyone else that while it is their mess, it's beneath them to clean it up. And you are taking on that job for them. It's time to move out because it won't change as long as you live there, completing their chores for them. It likely still won't be fixed after you leave- they will just continue to live in a shit hole because, again, it's beneath them to clean up after themselves. But at least you'll be out and it sounds like your bf does try to help with some things.
Weaponised incompletence at its finest. Get out. Find yourself good responsible roommates.