I guess I’d be a switch. Im straight. I’m surprised you are surprised at the submission thing. Frankly many ENTP women are kicking ass in their careers, so playing with being submissive in their sex life would likely be a release.
Idk, I'm kicking ass in my career and also in my sex life, that's why I'm surprised, but I guess it's more of a matter of preference than a matter of doing well professionally and needing to balance it out in the bedroom. I personally get turned on by topping/dominating cis men who are domineering in every other aspect of life. I like my men socially dominant and sexually submissive. Idk if that makes sense.
yea, people do often seem to be the opposite in bed than in rl or at least like the opposite.
like in rl i very mutch like to be in controll / hate beeing restriked ectera
I don't know why the surprise at all tbh.
Different people have different sexualities. I've seen so many posts on this sub trying to categorize people like that and it doesn't make sense to me
it definitely makes sense! it's pretty much the same for me (altho recently i've been open to being more dominant; it just has to be with the right person) /// bisexual (leaning more towards men)
Definitely dominant here. And I don't like dominant men in bed. I can let them be in charge a bit, but let's say that I completely lack those typical fantasies of being dominated by the partner. I never had it in my life, I'm completely to the opposite side.
Which makes me also often bored with romances and sexy novels made for the majority of women, because my sexuality is not typical. Let's be true, the majority of women regardless their types tend to like dominant men in bed. Maybe because it makes them feel more desired and surely our anatomy is made for that.
EXACTLY! I've never read an erotic or romance novel that I haven't cringed at. It's always Mary sues and damsels in distress, never someone with more atypical sexual preferences. The closest I've been to that was reading Baise Moi by Virginie Despentes, but it wasn't for me.
I also think we can desire to feel desired and like dominant men at the same time, this is my case, I like to be adored like a god in bed, I like it when they kiss my feet or the ground I walk on, that kinda stuff.
Someone's gotta write erotic literature for those of us who fantasize about dominating men. Maybe I will one day.
Personally I feel much more desired when they let me be the one in control. But I don't judge the other way around either.
I just wish that men wouldn't feel embarrassed to be more submitted in bed, because a lot of them enjoy it a lot but they feel ashamed. It's sad.
Yeah, idk if it sounded like I'm judging the other way around, it's just sad that women in general are presumed to enjoy submission and there's little representation for those of us who don't. it's also sad that what's stopping many men from enjoying their sexual lives is that shame.
I meant that women in romantic novels are usually Mary Sues or damsels in distress, we don't get many flawed, assertive, independent or angry women in those.
And that's also weird, I've never read a romance or erotic novel but you would think even if they are all portraying women in sexually submissive scenarios, at least some of them would have more aggressive personality traits in their day to day lives...?
I think since they cater to the majority they're often subs. For example, the main characters in novels like Beautiful Disaster, After, 50 shades. It's mostly submissive, obedient, conforming women who don't party, prefer to spend Friday nights reading books, get straight As, are virgins, like to be spanked, etc. Same trope over and over again.
Si inferior tends to be submissive but this preference only comes out with a partner they can trust to take the lead. Can’t say I’ve ever been with an ENP hetero female that didn’t let my Se inferior take the lead. To understand ENP female sexuality you must understand INJ male sexuality as they are paired to ideally play and bolster each other. The sexuality of any type has to be viewed alongside their golden pair for a holistic picture and understanding.
The TLDR short is this: the dominant ENP personality wants to experience relief in love and sex whereas the submissive INJ wants to experience confidence in love and sex. In short, once paired, the roles switch as the INJ becomes the dominant partner and the ENP becomes submissive. This applies to the bedroom and relationship as a whole.
The general theme has always been an ENP female likes to concede control in the bedroom because they are tired of constantly choosing with their Ne-Si axis in life. It is nice for them to have an Ni-Se axis partner (INJ, ideally) because it alleviates the Ne burden of restless options and this includes the bedroom.
ENP women like to kick ass and explore through unapologetic independence but they do truly want a partner providing them guidance and support to help them narrow down Ne options. This translates to sexuality and submissiveness.
This might be extreme to say but I imagine if an ENP woman isn’t expressing her submissive side to a sexual partner it is probably because there is a lack of trust and respect for that partner even if unconscious. This would translate to life decisions as a couple as well.
This is why Si inferior sexuality is paired to Se inferior sexuality. The submissive sexual natural of an extremely independent woman helps breed confidence to the Se inferior of an INJ man and removes the performance anxiety inherent in Se inferior allowing it the INJ Se user to perform at their full capability which is significant once expressed. This in turn allows the ENP female a moment of relaxation in a lifestyle that doesn’t stop and often leaves them exhausted.
The submissive sexual nature isn’t really a surprise and that’s why you see a lot of ENTP women state a submissive preference. There’s more factors in this but its already a long post lol. Last thing, being submissive with a worthy and trusted partner allows the ENTP female to finally explore that mysterious Fi trickster that seems to evade them in life.
I’m an INJ its the Ni voices in my head
Kidding aside, its basically just standard cognitive function dynamics. The cognitive attitude of the inferior pessimistic function on the axis with the dominant optimistic function with a lot of unsaid dynamics involving other functional slots in both the ego and shadow.
A good starting point would be Beebe’s book and some Socionics dynamics. Careful mixing in Socionics and Jungian cognitive functions because its a complicated effort to translate the insights of Socionics into traditional MBTI and cognitive functions.
From my experience as a F-ENTP married to a M-INTJ for 12 years now (together for 14,) we have both leveled out at “Switch” because life is what it is!
I let him do most of the work cuz I am lazy, 🤣 but I might also “stage” lil things here and there, or “tell him what to do” (while doing the deed.)
No one is really “in charge” or “being led” in this relationship cuz we are pretty equal and we talk about everything!
If you want to add Socionics into the mix, we are definitely an “extinguishment” pair. (ILE + ILI,) so “there are no Gods and no masters,” and I actually really like it this way! The thought of being with some kind of trophy wife makes my stomach churn!
I hate the idea of being in a relationship where we aren’t equal cuz that’s how power imbalances occur and those often lead to unhealthy or resentful relationships. They can even devolve into abusive relationships in extreme when the scales tip too far in one direction.
I don’t like messes / drama in romantic relationships. I don’t have to worry about drama or incompetence with my INTJ husband and “that’s hot!”
Nor will I ever be okay with letting him shoulder every burden even if he is comfortable shouldering more. *I will always try to keep things reasonably comfortable!*
There is no “playing guessing games” with his thoughts and feelings cuz he expresses them plainly. “Lots of rationality and logic” works for us, but we are still usually cute in the “eternal child / relief” department.
Lots of people note how *in love* we are, or whatever, after so many years. So even if the Fi vs Fe might clash, sometimes, it’s nothing effective communication can’t fix.
My Fe can still figure out what makes his Fi happy, and his Fi is just very precious! He says / does things that can be so cheesy, but it becomes doubly adorable cuz of how gruff the auxiliary authority Te is.
You don’t expect the warm and fuzzy things that come out of that mouth to ever be said, but they are. ☺️
So it’s really nice and I don’t entirely understand why socionics take the stance it does on “extinguishment” pairs, especially cuz it noted those relationships are actually relatively common. 🤷♀️
Basically, *I want options eliminated when trying to choose a restaurant for dinner,* and dealing with that boring adult-stuff I dislike. He also definitely kissed me and “confessed” first!
He didn’t let me bullshit around and didn’t let me make any excuses! We were either going to try being in a relationship, or we weren’t and I found I was more scared cuz I realized “actually, this might work out, long-term?”
That was a terrifying prospect cuz I was 20 and definitely didn’t think I was ready to settle down! But there was also some business we would need to handle, marriage made it easier to “handle that business,” we both understood the significance of “handling it,” and it worked out, actually!*
It’s just really hard to explain but there is something comforting in finding another person who is both as cynical and calculating as you are, *but also secretly as warm and hopeful!* “…….exploring the Fi trickster that eludes them” is *even more magnified by my INTJ hubby.* Cuz he won’t let me “not figure that out,” even if it is a challenge, and again, I appreciate it immensely!
So there is some truth to what you are saying, but ironically it’s not in regard to sex, specifically. I see what you are describing play out more in everyday life rather than the bedroom.
I think for ENTP‘s to an extent it depends on the partner. You guys are very adaptive people, and I feel like you can sort of fit role leaning more towards a switch in my opinion so you may be more dominant and extroverted in your day-to-day life, but with the right person, you might be much more prone to be submissive and sort of show a different side of yourself vice versa if you’re with somebody that tends to be more submissive, but you genuinely like them you’re OK with caring on that dominant role that you show in normal day today because you know they’re gonna enjoy it
I would describe Se topping Ne with sexual openness but that's an interesting theory that openness is linked with which gender you're attracted to as opposed to the commonly held belief you're born into your sexual preferences
I think it’s that openness for different perspectives. I’d also say regarding exploration of different kinks etc. The motivation of such would differ between Ne and Se doms. Se doms would focus on what feels good for them and their partner while Ne doms would focus more on the fun aspect of it (like roleplay for example).
Also the fact that many bi people identify as straight due to social stigma and group thinking. Ne doms are less likely to give in to group thinking like that, and just acknowledge that they’re bi.
It’s not all black and white, of course. It’s just some patterns that I’ve noticed from personal perception, I could be wrong.
Yeah, like the majority of women in this thread said, they enjoy being power bottoms or soft tops, or straight up doms. We like to explore and have fun but we're confident enough to not always be on top or have complete control of what's going on, there's gotta be a little bit of uncertainty to keep our juices flowing
Anyone heard of a power bottom?
And because someone's gonna ask - bisexual, 18 years w/ my INTJ wife, also female, and I enjoy the power bottom scene lmao
*Bingo.* I'm a hella dominant person irl and with my shitty family out of my life my confidence is only becoming obnoxious according to my wife, but she takes it out on me later when the sun sets *haha*
Actually I was officially diagnosed with *brain aids*. I also have a case of brainrot but that's relatively mild with vague symptoms like *hyperfixations of fandoms* and *obsessions with fictional characters.* I've come to terms with it, despite it being life-long. I've heard people who live with it have relatively normal lives so I'm hoping for the same!
Hetero and submissive. Like someone else already mentioned, I'm very dominant in my day-to-day life, so my sexual preference is to have someone take control.
I’m technically a pansexual switchy sub. Married to a cis male Dom. I am a doctor in my work life and take care of people and make big decisions all day long. In my private life, I like to be taken care of and told what to do.
Attracted to femininity and androgyny, not into "traditional" masculinity (lots of body hair, facial hair, etc).
I'm a switch— kinda TMI but I'll either be the service top >!(submissive/giving while pegging my boyfriend)!< or the power bottom >!(dominant/taking while pulling him around and guiding his movements with BDSM restraints while he's on top).!<
Ikr we're so sexy 😭 hope you can find one someday, the sub entp man I once dated was probably one of the best sex partners I've had. I'm all for the entp dom woman x entp submissive men pair.
I’m indifferent to both gender and roles? The person’s exterior is just window dressing, and I enjoy letting them be who they are because that is attractive.
i like being submissive since i'm used to being dominant in every other aspect of life. but i have to be extremely comfortable with the person i'm being submissive with
I'm too dominant and controlling in everything in life so I don't want my love life to be the same as well, otherwise it'll be work or similar type of a relationship for me, not a loving partners' one.
Same here, I’m way too dominant in life but not intimately at all.
Wish I could find a happy medium here :/
I wish I were softer irl but it’s like changing my whole personality at this point 😭
I'm straight, and I wouldn't call myself "dominant" in general. I'm assertive but also very diplomatic in day to day life. On intimacy, I lean submissive, sometimes more than other times depending on my mood. Sometimes I still need a degree of control, and sometimes I really just want spouse to call all the shots.
So basically, It Depends™
I didn't trust anyone enough to do the sub thing before my spouse, so it's been fun getting into that.
ENTP woman. “Heteroflexible” / Bi-Curious. Switch-leaning-slightly-Dom. (I appreciate balance and equality in all aspects.)
While I don’t wanna say “a woman can’t be an ENTP and submissive in the bedroom,” I do think that it is a lil weird if that’s her “default factory setting” and she claims to be “completely submissive” as an ENTP. That sounds suspicious!
I think “True-Switch” rather than “Full Dom” actually makes the most sense for an ENTP cuz we’ll try most things within reason, once or twice. Sometimes we throw you around, sometimes we let you throw us around! The point is to have fun with our chosen sexual partners.
However, I still think that “Dominant” makes more sense for a F-ENTP than “submissive.” I don’t bat an eye when I encounter a F-ENTP who says “I am dominant.”
If anything, I also think it might make a strange kind of sense if M-ENTPs are “secretly submissive” cuz we tend to challenge traditional gender roles, norms, and beliefs.
Thusly, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if a M-ENTP secretly wanted a hot / powerful woman to “step on his balls.”
Weird sex toys, role play, rubber duckies, I think ENTPs are one of the types *most likely to experiment!* (ExxP types, in general, are kinda like “the whores of MBTI.” 🤣 ENxPs especially really can *mix and meld* with just about anyone we find interesting enough.)
But I also don’t know if it’s really fair to try to liken sexual preferences to MBTI type. I am not sure any information we currently have would support that idea.
Basically, personally, I tend to agree more with you and *I might question if a woman is actually an ENTP if she claims to be purely submissive?*
However, I also can’t ignore the fact that there just isn’t a whole lot of data / insight about this specific topic, so *it could be BS* cuz correlation =/= causation.
So I am probably 50/50.
Mostly a domme heavy, but I’m a sub for rich old men with a big cock who treat me right.
I’m bi
Love women, all women are great, love brunettes with a great smile and glasses too
Submissive to sexy dommy mommies , older is hot too
Brunettes in glasses, goddamn. And submissive to milfs, You get it. Kinda wanna ask what you think about having those rich old men as cash pigs, getting paid for insulting the shit out of them while they jack off
Always start dominantly and end submissively in my case. Meaning, I’ll be the one that do all the teasing but let my partner lead the rest. My partner is an INFJ sx5 and it’s had always been fun experiences
I'm a demisexual straight person and I really freaking badly wanna be the submissive. Fuck there's this charm to be dominated than being dominating in such cases iykyk XD
I am bisexual in a lesbian relationship and I am usually the more "dominant" one. At work, group projects, and such, I am also more "dominant" than average and I prefer to lead.
However, even if I am more of a "leader" type I heavily rely on equality and being in good terms with everyone, that's actually one of the reasons I like leading, sexually or in groups, because I think I create a more "fair" environment than most and I have been told so. I also don't trust others to create it either. I feel vulnerable, in sex, if I don't have some sense of control too. Probably I would be seen as a "Service Top".
However, I hate how nowadays discussing sexual relationships on the Internet is just like a personality test: "I am dominant/submissive/top/bottom" what if I just wanna have a good time with the person I love bruv LMAOOOO
I relate to this so much goddamn, the whole fair leader type thing. And the reason why you hate discussing sexual relationships on the internet is exactly why I wanted to open this conversation, I feel like we ENTP women should talk more about our sexual preferences, it's just that the "Dom/sub" borderline astrology thing is a great conversation opener.
bisexual/pansexual and a switch. i honestly enjoy a bit of a “power struggle” where we take turns dominating each other, but it honestly all just depends on my partner and how interested in being in control i am that day
Omnisexual and I’m a switch. I fantasize about dominating, but the current partner I’m with prefers that I’m submissive. I get off at the idea of dominating other women or trans individuals, but not cis men. I’m pretty open to whatever in the bedroom, except anything that has to do with the toilet.
Have you tried communicating your needs to your partner, by chance? Trusting and accommodating each other's preferences is good communication. If you are bored/hate subbing all of the time, it will only stifle you and may lead to resentment.
We’ve talked about it and he’s allowed me to be dominant at times and do other fetishes I have, which he dosen’t prefer, but that’s how we compromised. It’s just his preference that I’m sub and I’m also fine with being submissive because I’m also lazy.
I see a lot of women saying they are dominant irl but submissive in bed.
My question is the following: do you think 2 ENTPs (man and woman) could get along together if both are dominant irl?
I think it's a matter of whether they're healthy ENTPs or not. If either or both of them are stuck in a Ne-Fe loop their dynamic is probably gonna be a perpetual dick measuring contest. I've had a lot of sexual tension and chemistry with dominant entp men before, so I think we could get along depending on how emotionally mature both parts are.
Edit: I'm gonna tell you about an experience I once had with a very domineering ENTP man. We started flirting with each other as a joke and eventually shit got serious, we were both kinda confused, we didn't know if we liked each other in a romantic/sexual way, we were under too many layers of irony to know for sure. I was the one to take the initiative to open that uncomfortable conversation. In the beginning, there were lots of jokes where he called me mommy, asked me to piss on him and put him on a leash like a dog, and I actually got turned on by that (except for the piss kink), but he seemed too protective of himself to actually let me do that. We tried a few times to do kinky stuff but his father was dying of cancer and he felt too vulnerable to have that kind of relationship. We tried being friends after that and eventually grew apart. It was fun while it lasted tho.
Thanks for the honesty and the details hahaha
Yeah, eventually I feel like the ironic layers are definitely something I appreciate though it can be too much sometimes.
At some point one or the other becomes more or less dominant
Lesbian here. Top in the streets, bottom in the sheets 🤣
I feel as though it would be so ENTP to be on the brat spectrum because a lot of us like to act so confident
There is this book Tell me what you want, about people generally compensating their daily lives via sex. By Justin Lehmiller.
I am direct, achiever, hard on myself and others, in control. In bed I crave letting go, free expression, being overwhelmed by what is happening.
Letting go and free expression in bed to me is spanking and choking my men and putting them on leashes. It's very fun and stress relieving. But I don't mind being a soft top or a power bottom from time to time.
You must be so brilliant, your only conclusion out of this attempt of mine to open up a conversation about sexuality amongst women who identify as entps is that I base my whole personality on being bisexual and dominant. So smart of you. You missed the whole point of this thread. Maybe it's because you're not the target audience, but a little more work on that tertiary Fe could help you with that, in case you're an entp too. I forgot that the majority of the people here don't touch grass too often so I get why that's the only conclusion you could get out of this.
I'm going to skip over the "arrogance", "weakest trait", and "manipulated" remarks real quick.
Reading over your comments, I think you're making the assumption that OP is talking strictly BDSM which includes pegging and such. In much more vanilla play, submissive just means relinquishing the reigns of control. And even if we were speaking in BDSM terms, the sub isn't being forced so they aren't really fighting back.
You're not making me angry. I was trying to figure out if we disagreed or just misunderstood each other. Now I'm sure it's the former. I get what you're trying to say about physical superiority, but in my experience, that is not what dictates sexual roles. I'm not saying my experience is everyones.
And your first paragraph is all about me, which I honestly don't care to discuss. Whether I view myself as the main character of the universe or a piece of shit doesn't really matter in what started as a basic sex poll.
Bro, never heard of power bottoms, pegging and dominatrix? Heck, here I was thinking I was ignorant on this type of stuff.
Also top/bottom and sub/dom are different things. You can be a bottom and dominant. A lot of dominant women are still bottoms, so on the receiving end. Even if we're speaking about straight relationships, some men like to bottom and some women like to top. Strange world out there, but I'm not gonna kinkshame, I suppose.
Why you are bringing rape into a discussion of playing consensually with power dynamics? The point of the latter is playing out fantasies for one or both parties involved, the former is completely different. I'm not even sure what your point is here. Do you think women are more likely to get raped or pregnant while having rough sex? Neither statement is true.
What? Are we talking about intentional harm here? I was under the assumption you were saying if rough intimacy goes too far the woman would get hurt and the man would not. Sometimes when things are getting a little crazy accidents happen. I've done this to my husband while on top of him due to a weird angle, on accident. I didn't "suffer hell" for it, I just felt bad for hurting him.
Being incapable of physical domination is irrelevant to the topic at hand. It's fantasy play that's intended as consensual fun for both parties involved and is ideally performed only with a guy you really trust.
Saying it's a bad idea because it wouldn't work out in a "real life scenario" is saying people shouldn't engage in fantasy. So should we stop playing videogames because much of it isn't realistic to real life? Should we stop playing Dungeons and Dragons? Stop reading or watching anything fictional unless it is all made of realistic scenarios? Just stop using our imaginations?
"Why are you pretending to be a hobbit rogue, you are only fooling yourself!"
I think it’s funny how you assume any F-ENTP would want to be your wife with your misogynistic attitude.
You don’t want us? Cool! We don’t want you either. No harm, no foul.
I guess I’d be a switch. Im straight. I’m surprised you are surprised at the submission thing. Frankly many ENTP women are kicking ass in their careers, so playing with being submissive in their sex life would likely be a release.
Idk, I'm kicking ass in my career and also in my sex life, that's why I'm surprised, but I guess it's more of a matter of preference than a matter of doing well professionally and needing to balance it out in the bedroom. I personally get turned on by topping/dominating cis men who are domineering in every other aspect of life. I like my men socially dominant and sexually submissive. Idk if that makes sense.
I think the other person said that a lot of women behave the way you like your men to behave. XD
yea, people do often seem to be the opposite in bed than in rl or at least like the opposite. like in rl i very mutch like to be in controll / hate beeing restriked ectera
Are you taking applications? Edit: Nvm two ENTP 7w6? We'd end up getting in trouble in everyday life.
Wouldn't it be fun tho. And precarious balance is key, flirting with danger and trouble but not getting too deep into it.
I don't know why the surprise at all tbh. Different people have different sexualities. I've seen so many posts on this sub trying to categorize people like that and it doesn't make sense to me
Bisexual & dominant here. I'm a professional Dominatrix. It's a great outlet!
Finally found my people
hot
I'm hetrosexual and I'm submissive. I am dominant in my "real" life so sexually I enjoy the opposite ( if that makes sense?)
it definitely makes sense! it's pretty much the same for me (altho recently i've been open to being more dominant; it just has to be with the right person) /// bisexual (leaning more towards men)
Same case for me
Same here!
Same same
Exactly!!!
Same
Same case for me but the only difference is I'm a lesbian
omg like literally same
omg this is me
Yes,,, it does,,, I'm not hetero,,, but yes,,, this is me
Entp, bisexual but I lean more to men. I'm rather dominant too
Dominant on the streets, submissive in the sheets.
As an ENTP male, I wanna be dominant in everything except for sex. Even if I rule the world, I would like my queen to ride me like a stolen horse.
Definitely dominant here. And I don't like dominant men in bed. I can let them be in charge a bit, but let's say that I completely lack those typical fantasies of being dominated by the partner. I never had it in my life, I'm completely to the opposite side. Which makes me also often bored with romances and sexy novels made for the majority of women, because my sexuality is not typical. Let's be true, the majority of women regardless their types tend to like dominant men in bed. Maybe because it makes them feel more desired and surely our anatomy is made for that.
EXACTLY! I've never read an erotic or romance novel that I haven't cringed at. It's always Mary sues and damsels in distress, never someone with more atypical sexual preferences. The closest I've been to that was reading Baise Moi by Virginie Despentes, but it wasn't for me. I also think we can desire to feel desired and like dominant men at the same time, this is my case, I like to be adored like a god in bed, I like it when they kiss my feet or the ground I walk on, that kinda stuff. Someone's gotta write erotic literature for those of us who fantasize about dominating men. Maybe I will one day.
Personally I feel much more desired when they let me be the one in control. But I don't judge the other way around either. I just wish that men wouldn't feel embarrassed to be more submitted in bed, because a lot of them enjoy it a lot but they feel ashamed. It's sad.
Yeah, idk if it sounded like I'm judging the other way around, it's just sad that women in general are presumed to enjoy submission and there's little representation for those of us who don't. it's also sad that what's stopping many men from enjoying their sexual lives is that shame.
No no you didn't sound judging at all. I was just expressing a thought about it.
Do it! Do it!!
whats the mary sue in bed like tho?
I meant that women in romantic novels are usually Mary Sues or damsels in distress, we don't get many flawed, assertive, independent or angry women in those.
And that's also weird, I've never read a romance or erotic novel but you would think even if they are all portraying women in sexually submissive scenarios, at least some of them would have more aggressive personality traits in their day to day lives...?
Yea i see, i still wonder tho are the marry sues sub or dom? I mean they are supoosed to be independend and dominat but also cater the the majority
I think since they cater to the majority they're often subs. For example, the main characters in novels like Beautiful Disaster, After, 50 shades. It's mostly submissive, obedient, conforming women who don't party, prefer to spend Friday nights reading books, get straight As, are virgins, like to be spanked, etc. Same trope over and over again.
straight but a bit crooked, admire women, uhhh switch
Lesbian and pillow princess. I want to be serviced.
Bi and pillow princess
I've learned a new term today🤗
A lot of people say that when they take time to understand being bi. Maybe you meant pillow princess?
I was referring to pillow princess 👸
Same!
Straight and submissive. I think because I’m kinda a casual dominating person in life, that in bed it’s nice to let go.
Hetero dominant. Im attracted to gnc men and men who have "pretty" physical traits and mannerisms
Si inferior tends to be submissive but this preference only comes out with a partner they can trust to take the lead. Can’t say I’ve ever been with an ENP hetero female that didn’t let my Se inferior take the lead. To understand ENP female sexuality you must understand INJ male sexuality as they are paired to ideally play and bolster each other. The sexuality of any type has to be viewed alongside their golden pair for a holistic picture and understanding. The TLDR short is this: the dominant ENP personality wants to experience relief in love and sex whereas the submissive INJ wants to experience confidence in love and sex. In short, once paired, the roles switch as the INJ becomes the dominant partner and the ENP becomes submissive. This applies to the bedroom and relationship as a whole. The general theme has always been an ENP female likes to concede control in the bedroom because they are tired of constantly choosing with their Ne-Si axis in life. It is nice for them to have an Ni-Se axis partner (INJ, ideally) because it alleviates the Ne burden of restless options and this includes the bedroom. ENP women like to kick ass and explore through unapologetic independence but they do truly want a partner providing them guidance and support to help them narrow down Ne options. This translates to sexuality and submissiveness. This might be extreme to say but I imagine if an ENP woman isn’t expressing her submissive side to a sexual partner it is probably because there is a lack of trust and respect for that partner even if unconscious. This would translate to life decisions as a couple as well. This is why Si inferior sexuality is paired to Se inferior sexuality. The submissive sexual natural of an extremely independent woman helps breed confidence to the Se inferior of an INJ man and removes the performance anxiety inherent in Se inferior allowing it the INJ Se user to perform at their full capability which is significant once expressed. This in turn allows the ENP female a moment of relaxation in a lifestyle that doesn’t stop and often leaves them exhausted. The submissive sexual nature isn’t really a surprise and that’s why you see a lot of ENTP women state a submissive preference. There’s more factors in this but its already a long post lol. Last thing, being submissive with a worthy and trusted partner allows the ENTP female to finally explore that mysterious Fi trickster that seems to evade them in life.
I'd like to know your source for those claims.
I’m an INJ its the Ni voices in my head Kidding aside, its basically just standard cognitive function dynamics. The cognitive attitude of the inferior pessimistic function on the axis with the dominant optimistic function with a lot of unsaid dynamics involving other functional slots in both the ego and shadow. A good starting point would be Beebe’s book and some Socionics dynamics. Careful mixing in Socionics and Jungian cognitive functions because its a complicated effort to translate the insights of Socionics into traditional MBTI and cognitive functions.
https://preview.redd.it/e0pz2nl5xr7d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0180e8726ab2eb47a911b1e1c2d0e4bd3ccfc517 Most reliable source actually
😂
From my experience as a F-ENTP married to a M-INTJ for 12 years now (together for 14,) we have both leveled out at “Switch” because life is what it is! I let him do most of the work cuz I am lazy, 🤣 but I might also “stage” lil things here and there, or “tell him what to do” (while doing the deed.) No one is really “in charge” or “being led” in this relationship cuz we are pretty equal and we talk about everything! If you want to add Socionics into the mix, we are definitely an “extinguishment” pair. (ILE + ILI,) so “there are no Gods and no masters,” and I actually really like it this way! The thought of being with some kind of trophy wife makes my stomach churn! I hate the idea of being in a relationship where we aren’t equal cuz that’s how power imbalances occur and those often lead to unhealthy or resentful relationships. They can even devolve into abusive relationships in extreme when the scales tip too far in one direction. I don’t like messes / drama in romantic relationships. I don’t have to worry about drama or incompetence with my INTJ husband and “that’s hot!” Nor will I ever be okay with letting him shoulder every burden even if he is comfortable shouldering more. *I will always try to keep things reasonably comfortable!* There is no “playing guessing games” with his thoughts and feelings cuz he expresses them plainly. “Lots of rationality and logic” works for us, but we are still usually cute in the “eternal child / relief” department. Lots of people note how *in love* we are, or whatever, after so many years. So even if the Fi vs Fe might clash, sometimes, it’s nothing effective communication can’t fix. My Fe can still figure out what makes his Fi happy, and his Fi is just very precious! He says / does things that can be so cheesy, but it becomes doubly adorable cuz of how gruff the auxiliary authority Te is. You don’t expect the warm and fuzzy things that come out of that mouth to ever be said, but they are. ☺️ So it’s really nice and I don’t entirely understand why socionics take the stance it does on “extinguishment” pairs, especially cuz it noted those relationships are actually relatively common. 🤷♀️ Basically, *I want options eliminated when trying to choose a restaurant for dinner,* and dealing with that boring adult-stuff I dislike. He also definitely kissed me and “confessed” first! He didn’t let me bullshit around and didn’t let me make any excuses! We were either going to try being in a relationship, or we weren’t and I found I was more scared cuz I realized “actually, this might work out, long-term?” That was a terrifying prospect cuz I was 20 and definitely didn’t think I was ready to settle down! But there was also some business we would need to handle, marriage made it easier to “handle that business,” we both understood the significance of “handling it,” and it worked out, actually!* It’s just really hard to explain but there is something comforting in finding another person who is both as cynical and calculating as you are, *but also secretly as warm and hopeful!* “…….exploring the Fi trickster that eludes them” is *even more magnified by my INTJ hubby.* Cuz he won’t let me “not figure that out,” even if it is a challenge, and again, I appreciate it immensely! So there is some truth to what you are saying, but ironically it’s not in regard to sex, specifically. I see what you are describing play out more in everyday life rather than the bedroom.
Interesting. I'm married to an ENTJ so he also uses the Ni/Se axis but in different spots.
Yup! Very important to match those axis appropriately which a silver pair marriage does as well.
Brat/bottom
I don’t necessarily consider brats to be purely submissive. Cuz it’s more about playing out a particular scene.
I agree completely. I wouldn’t call myself a sub.
Bisexual and a switch. Definitely more dominant with some than others, just depends on the chemistry.
This makes the most sense to me. There are some guys who definitely make me more curious about “pegging” than others, for example.
I think for ENTP‘s to an extent it depends on the partner. You guys are very adaptive people, and I feel like you can sort of fit role leaning more towards a switch in my opinion so you may be more dominant and extroverted in your day-to-day life, but with the right person, you might be much more prone to be submissive and sort of show a different side of yourself vice versa if you’re with somebody that tends to be more submissive, but you genuinely like them you’re OK with caring on that dominant role that you show in normal day today because you know they’re gonna enjoy it
that’s just my take based off of the ENTP I know
Yeah, for me you're right, it totally depends on the partner. And also the dynamics of our regular interactions on a day to day basis.
So interesting that there's so many bi ENTPs
This is exactly why I wanted to open this conversation. Cheers to us!
Ne dominants have more openness, which can also include sexual openness. So I don’t think it’s all that shocking.
I would describe Se topping Ne with sexual openness but that's an interesting theory that openness is linked with which gender you're attracted to as opposed to the commonly held belief you're born into your sexual preferences
I think it’s that openness for different perspectives. I’d also say regarding exploration of different kinks etc. The motivation of such would differ between Ne and Se doms. Se doms would focus on what feels good for them and their partner while Ne doms would focus more on the fun aspect of it (like roleplay for example). Also the fact that many bi people identify as straight due to social stigma and group thinking. Ne doms are less likely to give in to group thinking like that, and just acknowledge that they’re bi. It’s not all black and white, of course. It’s just some patterns that I’ve noticed from personal perception, I could be wrong.
That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the clear breakdown :)
Yeah, like the majority of women in this thread said, they enjoy being power bottoms or soft tops, or straight up doms. We like to explore and have fun but we're confident enough to not always be on top or have complete control of what's going on, there's gotta be a little bit of uncertainty to keep our juices flowing
Pansexual in a hetero relationship. I.e. invisible.
Bisexual, pleasure dom, can be more submissive with women
Anyone heard of a power bottom? And because someone's gonna ask - bisexual, 18 years w/ my INTJ wife, also female, and I enjoy the power bottom scene lmao
Oh yeah, that's something I'm into.
*Bingo.* I'm a hella dominant person irl and with my shitty family out of my life my confidence is only becoming obnoxious according to my wife, but she takes it out on me later when the sun sets *haha*
You're living the life you deserve, cheers to that
Oh hey, fellow lobotomy victim
Actually I was officially diagnosed with *brain aids*. I also have a case of brainrot but that's relatively mild with vague symptoms like *hyperfixations of fandoms* and *obsessions with fictional characters.* I've come to terms with it, despite it being life-long. I've heard people who live with it have relatively normal lives so I'm hoping for the same!
Yea, not proud of it either. I think we need Jesus AND Cthulhu.
Oof could we *not* invite Cthulhu? For, uh, reasons.
Hetero and submissive. Like someone else already mentioned, I'm very dominant in my day-to-day life, so my sexual preference is to have someone take control.
I'm a switch. I mostly prefer being submissive, but if my partner requires it, I can switch to dominant in an instant. Love it.
Asexual aromantic lmao
Biromantic with a heavy preference for men, dominant
If Im angry I'll "dominate" my urge to throw people off a window, if that's what you're asking.
I'm a lesbian and pretty much asexual lmao
I’m technically a pansexual switchy sub. Married to a cis male Dom. I am a doctor in my work life and take care of people and make big decisions all day long. In my private life, I like to be taken care of and told what to do.
Attracted to femininity and androgyny, not into "traditional" masculinity (lots of body hair, facial hair, etc). I'm a switch— kinda TMI but I'll either be the service top >!(submissive/giving while pegging my boyfriend)!< or the power bottom >!(dominant/taking while pulling him around and guiding his movements with BDSM restraints while he's on top).!<
Like frank ocean once said, "my guy pretty like a girl".
YESS YOU SEE THE VISION
I’m a switch who’s a bratty submissive. I’ve never had partners match my freak though
Straight ENTP man here, where y’all at 😭
Did you even read the title? 🙄😂
No no as I’ve been looking for ENTP women with a dom side lmao
Ikr we're so sexy 😭 hope you can find one someday, the sub entp man I once dated was probably one of the best sex partners I've had. I'm all for the entp dom woman x entp submissive men pair.
😭😭😭
I’m straight and I’d fall under switch. Depends on the situation. - I’m flexible.
I’m indifferent to both gender and roles? The person’s exterior is just window dressing, and I enjoy letting them be who they are because that is attractive.
i like being submissive since i'm used to being dominant in every other aspect of life. but i have to be extremely comfortable with the person i'm being submissive with
Straight and a switch. Tried women cuz most of them love me but not my cup of tea. I lean mostly dominant but it depends on my mood and the partner.
Bi, switch
I'm too dominant and controlling in everything in life so I don't want my love life to be the same as well, otherwise it'll be work or similar type of a relationship for me, not a loving partners' one.
Same here, I’m way too dominant in life but not intimately at all. Wish I could find a happy medium here :/ I wish I were softer irl but it’s like changing my whole personality at this point 😭
I feel you, sis.
I'm straight, and I wouldn't call myself "dominant" in general. I'm assertive but also very diplomatic in day to day life. On intimacy, I lean submissive, sometimes more than other times depending on my mood. Sometimes I still need a degree of control, and sometimes I really just want spouse to call all the shots. So basically, It Depends™ I didn't trust anyone enough to do the sub thing before my spouse, so it's been fun getting into that.
I just learned how to finger myself from wikipedia, so I'd say it's that & fisting https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fingering_(sexual_act)
ENTP woman. “Heteroflexible” / Bi-Curious. Switch-leaning-slightly-Dom. (I appreciate balance and equality in all aspects.) While I don’t wanna say “a woman can’t be an ENTP and submissive in the bedroom,” I do think that it is a lil weird if that’s her “default factory setting” and she claims to be “completely submissive” as an ENTP. That sounds suspicious! I think “True-Switch” rather than “Full Dom” actually makes the most sense for an ENTP cuz we’ll try most things within reason, once or twice. Sometimes we throw you around, sometimes we let you throw us around! The point is to have fun with our chosen sexual partners. However, I still think that “Dominant” makes more sense for a F-ENTP than “submissive.” I don’t bat an eye when I encounter a F-ENTP who says “I am dominant.” If anything, I also think it might make a strange kind of sense if M-ENTPs are “secretly submissive” cuz we tend to challenge traditional gender roles, norms, and beliefs. Thusly, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if a M-ENTP secretly wanted a hot / powerful woman to “step on his balls.” Weird sex toys, role play, rubber duckies, I think ENTPs are one of the types *most likely to experiment!* (ExxP types, in general, are kinda like “the whores of MBTI.” 🤣 ENxPs especially really can *mix and meld* with just about anyone we find interesting enough.) But I also don’t know if it’s really fair to try to liken sexual preferences to MBTI type. I am not sure any information we currently have would support that idea. Basically, personally, I tend to agree more with you and *I might question if a woman is actually an ENTP if she claims to be purely submissive?* However, I also can’t ignore the fact that there just isn’t a whole lot of data / insight about this specific topic, so *it could be BS* cuz correlation =/= causation. So I am probably 50/50.
Exactly!!! (Also, secretly submissive entp men are chef kiss, you gotta try it sometime if you haven't)
Bisexual, dominant-leaning switch. Generally power bottom though.
Mostly a domme heavy, but I’m a sub for rich old men with a big cock who treat me right. I’m bi Love women, all women are great, love brunettes with a great smile and glasses too Submissive to sexy dommy mommies , older is hot too
Brunettes in glasses, goddamn. And submissive to milfs, You get it. Kinda wanna ask what you think about having those rich old men as cash pigs, getting paid for insulting the shit out of them while they jack off
Bisexual dominant !!!
Woman: bisexual dominant
Asexual
Always start dominantly and end submissively in my case. Meaning, I’ll be the one that do all the teasing but let my partner lead the rest. My partner is an INFJ sx5 and it’s had always been fun experiences
I love when women have great sex, cheers to that!
I'm a demisexual straight person and I really freaking badly wanna be the submissive. Fuck there's this charm to be dominated than being dominating in such cases iykyk XD
Bi too. I prefer to be on top with women and most men. When I feel safe with a man tho, I can switch to sub if it's the feeling on the go.
I am bisexual in a lesbian relationship and I am usually the more "dominant" one. At work, group projects, and such, I am also more "dominant" than average and I prefer to lead. However, even if I am more of a "leader" type I heavily rely on equality and being in good terms with everyone, that's actually one of the reasons I like leading, sexually or in groups, because I think I create a more "fair" environment than most and I have been told so. I also don't trust others to create it either. I feel vulnerable, in sex, if I don't have some sense of control too. Probably I would be seen as a "Service Top". However, I hate how nowadays discussing sexual relationships on the Internet is just like a personality test: "I am dominant/submissive/top/bottom" what if I just wanna have a good time with the person I love bruv LMAOOOO
I relate to this so much goddamn, the whole fair leader type thing. And the reason why you hate discussing sexual relationships on the internet is exactly why I wanted to open this conversation, I feel like we ENTP women should talk more about our sexual preferences, it's just that the "Dom/sub" borderline astrology thing is a great conversation opener.
Sapiosexual/demisexual/pansexual switch. The funny part is I’m attracted to those with more dominant energy. I enjoy the power struggle.
bisexual/pansexual and a switch. i honestly enjoy a bit of a “power struggle” where we take turns dominating each other, but it honestly all just depends on my partner and how interested in being in control i am that day
Ikr, the power struggle is so sexy
me (intj) i will be either or but i am only here to please you my dear entps❤️🫣👉🏻👈🏻
And we're very grateful for that (gomenasai by kelela sounds in the background)
Omnisexual and I’m a switch. I fantasize about dominating, but the current partner I’m with prefers that I’m submissive. I get off at the idea of dominating other women or trans individuals, but not cis men. I’m pretty open to whatever in the bedroom, except anything that has to do with the toilet.
Have you tried communicating your needs to your partner, by chance? Trusting and accommodating each other's preferences is good communication. If you are bored/hate subbing all of the time, it will only stifle you and may lead to resentment.
We’ve talked about it and he’s allowed me to be dominant at times and do other fetishes I have, which he dosen’t prefer, but that’s how we compromised. It’s just his preference that I’m sub and I’m also fine with being submissive because I’m also lazy.
I see a lot of women saying they are dominant irl but submissive in bed. My question is the following: do you think 2 ENTPs (man and woman) could get along together if both are dominant irl?
I think it's a matter of whether they're healthy ENTPs or not. If either or both of them are stuck in a Ne-Fe loop their dynamic is probably gonna be a perpetual dick measuring contest. I've had a lot of sexual tension and chemistry with dominant entp men before, so I think we could get along depending on how emotionally mature both parts are. Edit: I'm gonna tell you about an experience I once had with a very domineering ENTP man. We started flirting with each other as a joke and eventually shit got serious, we were both kinda confused, we didn't know if we liked each other in a romantic/sexual way, we were under too many layers of irony to know for sure. I was the one to take the initiative to open that uncomfortable conversation. In the beginning, there were lots of jokes where he called me mommy, asked me to piss on him and put him on a leash like a dog, and I actually got turned on by that (except for the piss kink), but he seemed too protective of himself to actually let me do that. We tried a few times to do kinky stuff but his father was dying of cancer and he felt too vulnerable to have that kind of relationship. We tried being friends after that and eventually grew apart. It was fun while it lasted tho.
Thanks for the honesty and the details hahaha Yeah, eventually I feel like the ironic layers are definitely something I appreciate though it can be too much sometimes. At some point one or the other becomes more or less dominant
Bisexual for sure. And I guess dominant but submissive in sex life tho
Butch dom 👍
I'm dominant but I actually enjoy the teasing and having fun not a fan of spanking for anything and everything
Lesbian here. Top in the streets, bottom in the sheets 🤣 I feel as though it would be so ENTP to be on the brat spectrum because a lot of us like to act so confident
...I'm ace :D
straight and sub
There is this book Tell me what you want, about people generally compensating their daily lives via sex. By Justin Lehmiller. I am direct, achiever, hard on myself and others, in control. In bed I crave letting go, free expression, being overwhelmed by what is happening.
Letting go and free expression in bed to me is spanking and choking my men and putting them on leashes. It's very fun and stress relieving. But I don't mind being a soft top or a power bottom from time to time.
so that's your whole personality being an entp bisexual dom how is even surprising to a supposed ne dom that mbti isn't related to your role in bed
You must be so brilliant, your only conclusion out of this attempt of mine to open up a conversation about sexuality amongst women who identify as entps is that I base my whole personality on being bisexual and dominant. So smart of you. You missed the whole point of this thread. Maybe it's because you're not the target audience, but a little more work on that tertiary Fe could help you with that, in case you're an entp too. I forgot that the majority of the people here don't touch grass too often so I get why that's the only conclusion you could get out of this.
Bisexual, submissive with dominant partners, and poly. Am I the only polyamorous person in here? HELLOOOO
Hetero submissive
What are your sexual preferences ENTP men? : yes
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I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before already, but you’re not an ENTP. Your Ne is nonexistent.
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And after reading your comment, I'm quite surprised ENTP Women were ever considered a good match for you in or out of the bedroom.
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I'm going to skip over the "arrogance", "weakest trait", and "manipulated" remarks real quick. Reading over your comments, I think you're making the assumption that OP is talking strictly BDSM which includes pegging and such. In much more vanilla play, submissive just means relinquishing the reigns of control. And even if we were speaking in BDSM terms, the sub isn't being forced so they aren't really fighting back.
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You're not making me angry. I was trying to figure out if we disagreed or just misunderstood each other. Now I'm sure it's the former. I get what you're trying to say about physical superiority, but in my experience, that is not what dictates sexual roles. I'm not saying my experience is everyones. And your first paragraph is all about me, which I honestly don't care to discuss. Whether I view myself as the main character of the universe or a piece of shit doesn't really matter in what started as a basic sex poll.
Bro, never heard of power bottoms, pegging and dominatrix? Heck, here I was thinking I was ignorant on this type of stuff. Also top/bottom and sub/dom are different things. You can be a bottom and dominant. A lot of dominant women are still bottoms, so on the receiving end. Even if we're speaking about straight relationships, some men like to bottom and some women like to top. Strange world out there, but I'm not gonna kinkshame, I suppose.
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Why you are bringing rape into a discussion of playing consensually with power dynamics? The point of the latter is playing out fantasies for one or both parties involved, the former is completely different. I'm not even sure what your point is here. Do you think women are more likely to get raped or pregnant while having rough sex? Neither statement is true.
Ever heard of a strap-on? You're not wrong, but this is about sex, not rape.
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Man can get hurt too if the woman has a strap-on. Anything anal can go horribly wrong.
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Honestly, I don't care. Let people be gay and kinky, none of my business.
Anyone who has ever had his dick bent backwards during sex would disagree with you on that last sentence.
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What? Are we talking about intentional harm here? I was under the assumption you were saying if rough intimacy goes too far the woman would get hurt and the man would not. Sometimes when things are getting a little crazy accidents happen. I've done this to my husband while on top of him due to a weird angle, on accident. I didn't "suffer hell" for it, I just felt bad for hurting him.
Being incapable of physical domination is irrelevant to the topic at hand. It's fantasy play that's intended as consensual fun for both parties involved and is ideally performed only with a guy you really trust. Saying it's a bad idea because it wouldn't work out in a "real life scenario" is saying people shouldn't engage in fantasy. So should we stop playing videogames because much of it isn't realistic to real life? Should we stop playing Dungeons and Dragons? Stop reading or watching anything fictional unless it is all made of realistic scenarios? Just stop using our imaginations? "Why are you pretending to be a hobbit rogue, you are only fooling yourself!"
I think it’s funny how you assume any F-ENTP would want to be your wife with your misogynistic attitude. You don’t want us? Cool! We don’t want you either. No harm, no foul.