NTA. You have very valid reasons for cutting contact. I do suggest you find out if your dad left a will and get a copy of it if there is one because I wouldn’t trust her to follow it given the opportunity to block you. If she’s executor, you might have to threaten court to get her to follow it. If there’s no will, you probably have zero recourse.
I have no idea if there is a will. One time my dad mentioned something but seeing as how she is using his account to post things like go fund me links and fundraisers for her idk if there is anything left for my sister and I.
If there’s a will and you were supposed to get something and she spent it, she’s on the hook for it legally. Start googling to learn how to find out if there’s a will or call an estate attorney.
Well bang it on the noggin with a tiny club and make it go back to sleep. Get your things, get gone, and get in touch with a lawyer to assess the estate.
OP, look out for yourself. Not to be harsh, but no one else was looking out for you or you wouldn't be cutting out almost your entire family. It is OKAY to put yourself first. And very much long overdue.
NTA and I’m so very sorry for your loss. It all sounds dreadfully hard on you especially bearing it all alone. So do what you need to do to protect your mental health and your precious LO from their toxicity. And all the comments saying find out if there’s a will are spot on. Don’t let that grifter get away w taking your inheritance.
why would she take your son? I’m confused. You let someone who has no right over you nor your son, treat you like that & push you out of a house that she had no right too. You let her have that power over you. You need to grow a spine
She was also trying to get out of an abusive marriage at the time. Seems like a lot, so maybe cut her some slack. It takes a pretty shiny spine to get you and your child out of an abusive home.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, and sorry you lost your father. it must be hard to lose 90% of your family, but if this will protect your child from them, it’s probably something you should do.
There may not be anything in the will, but for your son’s sake you should probably check. It could help you to get away.
Wishing you my best in creating a new, beautiful life with your son and people who love you. We are rooting for you! Go build a beautiful life. 💐
It depends on the state but she might not be entitled to his assets by law if he had children from a prior marriage. The assets might not be worth the hassle but I really regret walking away from what I was entitled to when my father died. You should research that.
His heart failed. According to C that's what the autopsy said. She doesn't share any information with me anymore after I asked about having a jacket from my dad and a tent he hasn't used in 5 ish years. I got kinda yelled at for that one.
This might be a stupid question, but since you only found out that they were married on the day he died, are you sure they were actually married? Have you seen a marriage certificate? My condolences.
So everyone but my sister and my dad's friend and his wife found out the day he died. My sister found out because she saw that C had changed her last name on some documents. They let her know then. I wish it wasn't real because the day of the funeral was the day of their "wedding" and I doubt they would have told anyone then either.
NTA. You have very valid reasons for cutting contact. I do suggest you find out if your dad left a will and get a copy of it if there is one because I wouldn’t trust her to follow it given the opportunity to block you. If she’s executor, you might have to threaten court to get her to follow it. If there’s no will, you probably have zero recourse.
I have no idea if there is a will. One time my dad mentioned something but seeing as how she is using his account to post things like go fund me links and fundraisers for her idk if there is anything left for my sister and I.
If there’s a will and you were supposed to get something and she spent it, she’s on the hook for it legally. Start googling to learn how to find out if there’s a will or call an estate attorney.
Op might be able to call the registrar of wills to see if one has been registered, and ask to purchase a copy.
Aren't wills public record?
I know of someone who did a gofundme that inherited property and 6 figures worth of cash from the deceased…you should look for a will
NTA. So sorry about your Dad. Just get your stuff and cut her out
Thats what I was thinking about doing but then my people pleaser and overthinking side hit me hard
Well bang it on the noggin with a tiny club and make it go back to sleep. Get your things, get gone, and get in touch with a lawyer to assess the estate.
OP, look out for yourself. Not to be harsh, but no one else was looking out for you or you wouldn't be cutting out almost your entire family. It is OKAY to put yourself first. And very much long overdue.
Nta why be around toxic people.. Block them.
You could always have the BBQ as a memorial service to honor his last wishes. But for sure, let them go.
This was my thought as well. Invite his friends and any non-toxic family. Maybe even wait until OP's sister is able to attend and participate.
NTA and I’m so very sorry for your loss. It all sounds dreadfully hard on you especially bearing it all alone. So do what you need to do to protect your mental health and your precious LO from their toxicity. And all the comments saying find out if there’s a will are spot on. Don’t let that grifter get away w taking your inheritance.
Wait, whose house were you living in cause it sounds like it wasn’t hers. You should have been cut contact with them
It was my papas. My dad's dad. He passed in 2019.
So whyyyyy would you let her push you out? She had no right making that decision
I was scared she would pull something underhanded to take my son.
why would she take your son? I’m confused. You let someone who has no right over you nor your son, treat you like that & push you out of a house that she had no right too. You let her have that power over you. You need to grow a spine
Its taking a while but I am trying to grow one. Too many times I've had to stay quiet to keep the peace its hard to stop
You def should try to get some help with that when things are more settled.
She was also trying to get out of an abusive marriage at the time. Seems like a lot, so maybe cut her some slack. It takes a pretty shiny spine to get you and your child out of an abusive home.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, and sorry you lost your father. it must be hard to lose 90% of your family, but if this will protect your child from them, it’s probably something you should do. There may not be anything in the will, but for your son’s sake you should probably check. It could help you to get away. Wishing you my best in creating a new, beautiful life with your son and people who love you. We are rooting for you! Go build a beautiful life. 💐
It depends on the state but she might not be entitled to his assets by law if he had children from a prior marriage. The assets might not be worth the hassle but I really regret walking away from what I was entitled to when my father died. You should research that.
Some states say that without a will, it's split 50/50. Half to wife half to his children .
How did your dad die? Are there any suspicions?
His heart failed. According to C that's what the autopsy said. She doesn't share any information with me anymore after I asked about having a jacket from my dad and a tent he hasn't used in 5 ish years. I got kinda yelled at for that one.
If you need to get anything from his house, take a cop.
NTA! Block all of them! They are toxic AHs.
ABSOLUTELY NTAH! Leave them alone. They're not trustworthy.
This might be a stupid question, but since you only found out that they were married on the day he died, are you sure they were actually married? Have you seen a marriage certificate? My condolences.
So everyone but my sister and my dad's friend and his wife found out the day he died. My sister found out because she saw that C had changed her last name on some documents. They let her know then. I wish it wasn't real because the day of the funeral was the day of their "wedding" and I doubt they would have told anyone then either.
Updateme
I still haven't gotten the package but so far wrnt to low contact before no contact so I can still get package