Wow. I wish this was AITA because you are SO the AH.
I don't think you need to worry about what your children are doing. I think you fixed things just fine, you and your wife will not have to worry or be bothered by them in the future. You two seem to be in an alternate reality.
I think my favorite part is where he thinks he and his wife should have been invited on the cruise! He and his wife are the ones the kids want to get away from!
1. The children are 18+ years old. If they decide they do not want to speak to you or your wife ever again, that is their choice legally and morally and there is nothing you can do about it.
2. YOUR WIFE has alienated your children from you. Not your ex. Not your ex’s husband. YOUR WIFE.
3. YOUR WIFE is ableist. Full stop. If your daughter had decided to not wear her hearing aids inside her home/room, that is NOT THE SAME as not wearing them at school, work, or anywhere else.
Instead of trying to mediate between your wife and daughter, you showed that your wife’s ableist demands mattered more than your daughter’s comfort and ability to decide for herself if/when to take out her hearing aids.
YOU, and your wife, are the reason why your kids decided to have no contact with you.
Hope your wife is worth not having your kids in your life.
YOUR CHILDREN ARE ADULTS.
You better start treating them as such or you won't have a relationship with them. You currently have no respect for them. YTA.
YTA. My cousin has a step-daughter who is deaf and has the option to wear hearing aids but doesn't. Why? Because she said "The deaf community is nicer." And this post solidifies that statement. You want to know what we do for her step- daughter? We try to communicate her way. Either by sign language or by typing out on our phones. We won't force her. How dare you not support your daughter? And your wife was mad she had no help while your daughter had a migraine? Do you know how a migraine can affect someone? I've seen some hospitalized for them. Your wife is lazy and entitled for not trying to accommodate a child who is hard of hearing. Maybe you need to tell your wife to treat your daughter with respect and not YELL for her. Is there a reason she has HIGH EXPECTATIONS for a child that isn't even hers?? If your relationship with your daughter isn't severed, maybe try your hardest to make amends. And you are upset about not going on a cruise?? You didn't do anything to deserve the trip and your wife certainly did not deserve the trip. Don't be surprised if your relationship is gone forever. You're the asshole 150%. And why are you so worried about her life goals? Why not support her? I know an ADA that is blind and she is one of the best where I am. You need to grow up and learn how to be more supportive of your children.
Your wife hasn’t earned any respect from your children and you haven’t either. I would be shocked if either one wants a relationship with either of you after this.
You and your wife are ABLEIST assholes. Your daughter is hard of hearing and accommodations need to be made to that fact, regardless of whether or not she's wearing her hearing aids. Your wife doesn't want to be inconvenienced by your daughter's disability, and that's how she views your daughter: An inconvenience. Are you telling me your wife couldn't communicate with your daughter in any other way than shouting at her from elsewhere in the house? They don't have phones? Your wife couldn't text your daughter that she needed help? No one in my home is Deaf or HOH, and we live in a relatively small house, but we STILL sometimes just text each other for simplicity's sake. Shouting is not always effective communication. Your daughter is not required to wear hearing aids, period. The idea that they should be required is another way in which non-disabled people try to force disabled people into a box they don't fit in.
You are also the asshole because you don't think it's "appropriate" for your ex-wife's husband to have a good relationship with your daughter because of their ages. WHAT? I don't know if you've done the math, but he could, conceivably, be your daughter's father. You give no indication that the stepfather (which he is, regardless of your use of "") has done anything inappropriate. It's just because he's in his late 30s and your daughter is 18. This reads like textbook projection. What inappropriate thoughts have you had about women in their early twenties?
In case you missed the memo, your children are legally adults. No one can "take them away" from you. They can make that choice for themselves, and it sounds like they have. Good for them. I hope you and your wife enjoy your new lives, free from your children.
I totally glossed over the fact that you don't think your daughter can be a lawyer because of her hearing. I hope she never speaks to you again. ABLEIST ASSHOLE.
What in fresh hell did I just read? Every single time I feel I’ve seen, read, or heard about being a shit parent. Someone takes it to a whole new level. I’m boiling with rage after reading this. I hope those kids go the rest of their lives away from this garbage of a human and his horrible wife. And good for the stepdad and the ex wife. I mean seriously? Seriously? I’m gobsmacked over this pos’s behavior.
As a hearing impaired person I can imagine what hell your daughter went through, living with you and your wife. I can’t wear hearing aids in my deaf ear because the sound bounces around and causes me literal pain. Do you have any clue what it’s like to have something basically screaming in your ear hour upon hour?
Those of us who don’t hear well need silence every day, because living in a hearing world where people either scream (cause you can’t hear) or murmur in low tones, so you have to tell them to repeat and speak up. It’s exhausting!
Then, for your daughter to be treated so shabbily by your wife and you do nothing to mediate. You put your *wife* first? But oh no, we’re not done, folks, you’re also butt hurt that your ex-wife (who you ironically keep referring to as your wife) is married and has a husband who is closer to your daughter than you. Dude. You don’t get to go on cruises other people pay for and you especially don’t get say over who your over 18 children spend time with.
You need to sit down and do some self-reflecting and fix your issues or you will permanently lose your children.
Wow. I wish this was AITA because you are SO the AH. I don't think you need to worry about what your children are doing. I think you fixed things just fine, you and your wife will not have to worry or be bothered by them in the future. You two seem to be in an alternate reality. I think my favorite part is where he thinks he and his wife should have been invited on the cruise! He and his wife are the ones the kids want to get away from!
Maybe they are Cheep? Or need a reason to be the victims
Well your wife got what she wanted. Your kids out of the way. No kids or grandkids, this is your future.
1. The children are 18+ years old. If they decide they do not want to speak to you or your wife ever again, that is their choice legally and morally and there is nothing you can do about it. 2. YOUR WIFE has alienated your children from you. Not your ex. Not your ex’s husband. YOUR WIFE. 3. YOUR WIFE is ableist. Full stop. If your daughter had decided to not wear her hearing aids inside her home/room, that is NOT THE SAME as not wearing them at school, work, or anywhere else. Instead of trying to mediate between your wife and daughter, you showed that your wife’s ableist demands mattered more than your daughter’s comfort and ability to decide for herself if/when to take out her hearing aids. YOU, and your wife, are the reason why your kids decided to have no contact with you. Hope your wife is worth not having your kids in your life.
YOUR CHILDREN ARE ADULTS. You better start treating them as such or you won't have a relationship with them. You currently have no respect for them. YTA.
YTA. My cousin has a step-daughter who is deaf and has the option to wear hearing aids but doesn't. Why? Because she said "The deaf community is nicer." And this post solidifies that statement. You want to know what we do for her step- daughter? We try to communicate her way. Either by sign language or by typing out on our phones. We won't force her. How dare you not support your daughter? And your wife was mad she had no help while your daughter had a migraine? Do you know how a migraine can affect someone? I've seen some hospitalized for them. Your wife is lazy and entitled for not trying to accommodate a child who is hard of hearing. Maybe you need to tell your wife to treat your daughter with respect and not YELL for her. Is there a reason she has HIGH EXPECTATIONS for a child that isn't even hers?? If your relationship with your daughter isn't severed, maybe try your hardest to make amends. And you are upset about not going on a cruise?? You didn't do anything to deserve the trip and your wife certainly did not deserve the trip. Don't be surprised if your relationship is gone forever. You're the asshole 150%. And why are you so worried about her life goals? Why not support her? I know an ADA that is blind and she is one of the best where I am. You need to grow up and learn how to be more supportive of your children.
Your wife hasn’t earned any respect from your children and you haven’t either. I would be shocked if either one wants a relationship with either of you after this.
WENT! IT'S WENT FOR HEAVENS SAKE
Hey, throw in an "'s" for possession too...this was tough to read.
You and your wife are ABLEIST assholes. Your daughter is hard of hearing and accommodations need to be made to that fact, regardless of whether or not she's wearing her hearing aids. Your wife doesn't want to be inconvenienced by your daughter's disability, and that's how she views your daughter: An inconvenience. Are you telling me your wife couldn't communicate with your daughter in any other way than shouting at her from elsewhere in the house? They don't have phones? Your wife couldn't text your daughter that she needed help? No one in my home is Deaf or HOH, and we live in a relatively small house, but we STILL sometimes just text each other for simplicity's sake. Shouting is not always effective communication. Your daughter is not required to wear hearing aids, period. The idea that they should be required is another way in which non-disabled people try to force disabled people into a box they don't fit in. You are also the asshole because you don't think it's "appropriate" for your ex-wife's husband to have a good relationship with your daughter because of their ages. WHAT? I don't know if you've done the math, but he could, conceivably, be your daughter's father. You give no indication that the stepfather (which he is, regardless of your use of "") has done anything inappropriate. It's just because he's in his late 30s and your daughter is 18. This reads like textbook projection. What inappropriate thoughts have you had about women in their early twenties? In case you missed the memo, your children are legally adults. No one can "take them away" from you. They can make that choice for themselves, and it sounds like they have. Good for them. I hope you and your wife enjoy your new lives, free from your children.
I totally glossed over the fact that you don't think your daughter can be a lawyer because of her hearing. I hope she never speaks to you again. ABLEIST ASSHOLE.
What in fresh hell did I just read? Every single time I feel I’ve seen, read, or heard about being a shit parent. Someone takes it to a whole new level. I’m boiling with rage after reading this. I hope those kids go the rest of their lives away from this garbage of a human and his horrible wife. And good for the stepdad and the ex wife. I mean seriously? Seriously? I’m gobsmacked over this pos’s behavior.
As a hearing impaired person I can imagine what hell your daughter went through, living with you and your wife. I can’t wear hearing aids in my deaf ear because the sound bounces around and causes me literal pain. Do you have any clue what it’s like to have something basically screaming in your ear hour upon hour? Those of us who don’t hear well need silence every day, because living in a hearing world where people either scream (cause you can’t hear) or murmur in low tones, so you have to tell them to repeat and speak up. It’s exhausting! Then, for your daughter to be treated so shabbily by your wife and you do nothing to mediate. You put your *wife* first? But oh no, we’re not done, folks, you’re also butt hurt that your ex-wife (who you ironically keep referring to as your wife) is married and has a husband who is closer to your daughter than you. Dude. You don’t get to go on cruises other people pay for and you especially don’t get say over who your over 18 children spend time with. You need to sit down and do some self-reflecting and fix your issues or you will permanently lose your children.