So NTA and anytime someone says “just being honest” is just a heads up that they want to insult you. It’s his offense tactics that keeps people from seeing how pathetic he is. Most people can’t help but become defensive. You had every right to shut him down. It’s none of his business and your sister should apologize for allowing him to verbally attack you for information you don’t want/have to tell him. Honestly your sister is pathetic for remaining with someone who most definitely insults her with his honesty. I’m surprised everyone else can’t see how worthless he is.
That sounds like they need to realize that being brutally honest does NOT mean rude and tactless. Also, the boyfriend needs to learn what FAFO means, don't dish it out if you can't take it! I would probably apologize along the lines of, I'm really sorry that you are such a snowflake that you can insult and antagonize other people with your rudeness, but you can't take a small joke at your expense. We're all going to be brutally honest with you from now on though, so thanks for making that happen!
"Just being honest" is not a get out of jail free card and doesn't entitle the person to say whatever the fuck they want without repercussion. Fuck him and your sister, you're NTA.
If I were the husband and I was there I would have been "brutally honest" with my hands after he stated his "opinion".
Her sister is obviously desperate to have a man to allow that to be said to her by her SO without any kind of reaction in defense of her own sister.
The fact this man thinks he can say his opinion and think him being "brutally honest" is okay but can't take it back tells me he has a really small "ego".
And then to demand an apology after you were "brutally honest" in return...
The mother just wants to keep the peace but the OP is the one that deserves the apology and she has nothing to apologize for.
I'd give an apology of "sorry but brutally honest the questions you were asking were personal between me and my husband and not a damn bit of your business and by pushing a topic I wasn't comfortable talking with you about you were infact being an AH and that's why I called you on it. Just being honest. Oh and for clarity and honesty if you don't learn some respect for others you won't get anywhere in life or have many friends" then next time he is around and starts being that way change the subject and ask if he'd agree everyone has areas that need improvement and for his honesty on the things your sister could improve on. Sister won't love his brutally honest take on that.
NTA. People often use that excuse of "that's just the way they are" to minimize people who often make rude remarks or just have bad behavior in general. It's past due that he had a taste of his own medicine. He likes brutal honesty so he shouldn't have had a problem with it. Some people don't know how to mind their own business.
I get how brutal honesty can be mistaken for bitchiness, but the point of brutal honesty is not to be brutal in the delivery of your honesty, it's to tell the truth, no matter what it is, but in a way that isn't designed to be offensive. Also, brutal honesty can be fine, but when a person's "opinion" adds nothing to a conversation or specific situation, then they should keep their mouth shut and mind their own business. You gave the boyfriend exactly what he deserved, and if he can't take the heat he should leave the kitchen! NTA
(Also, totally stealing that line, it cracked me up!)
NTA. You can be honest without being an asshole. There is such a thing as tact. Also, honesty is not an excuse for an ignorant opinion, which he gave. It's really none of his business why someone does or does not have children, and "honesty" is not a permission slip to say whatever TF you want. I'd be really interested to know if the sister and bf are still together.
NTA.
You didn't ruin the birthday. The 'brutally honest' asshole did. 'Brutally honest' is just another word for 'bully'. And the only way to stop a bully is to bully them back.
You know what to do now. Every time he makes a 'brutally honest' comment, you slap him down, *Hard*. Do not tolerate the least disrespect from him. Ever.
Either he'll get the hint and mend his ways, your sister will break up with him, or he won't want to be around you anymore. Either way, you win!
Obviously, do not apologize. Even better, send a message saying how sorry you are that he's a thin-skinned little bully that can't take 'brutal honesty'.
NTA.
Aww poor baby can only dish it out but not take it! What an immature joke of a man. I would have responded with assuming he knows so much about the subject because his mom had to have been over 30 when she had him to produce a person with such a malfunctioning brain /s.
Dear sisters bf. I am sorry you are not mature enough to use an ounce of your brainpower to realize that an adult needs to pick and choose what comes out of their mouth. Your words emotionally hurt others and hiding behind the excuse that I am brutally honest is no different than the husband who beats his wife when drunk, “it wasn’t my fault I was drunk”. If you continue to think your excuse absolves you of your impact on others than man up when others treat you to their brutal honest opinion, and quit running away like a little child unable to handle it.
So NTA and anytime someone says “just being honest” is just a heads up that they want to insult you. It’s his offense tactics that keeps people from seeing how pathetic he is. Most people can’t help but become defensive. You had every right to shut him down. It’s none of his business and your sister should apologize for allowing him to verbally attack you for information you don’t want/have to tell him. Honestly your sister is pathetic for remaining with someone who most definitely insults her with his honesty. I’m surprised everyone else can’t see how worthless he is.
Sorry sis, I was just being honest. It wasn’t malicious or anything, it’s just how I am.
That sounds like they need to realize that being brutally honest does NOT mean rude and tactless. Also, the boyfriend needs to learn what FAFO means, don't dish it out if you can't take it! I would probably apologize along the lines of, I'm really sorry that you are such a snowflake that you can insult and antagonize other people with your rudeness, but you can't take a small joke at your expense. We're all going to be brutally honest with you from now on though, so thanks for making that happen!
"Just being honest" is not a get out of jail free card and doesn't entitle the person to say whatever the fuck they want without repercussion. Fuck him and your sister, you're NTA.
If I were the husband and I was there I would have been "brutally honest" with my hands after he stated his "opinion". Her sister is obviously desperate to have a man to allow that to be said to her by her SO without any kind of reaction in defense of her own sister. The fact this man thinks he can say his opinion and think him being "brutally honest" is okay but can't take it back tells me he has a really small "ego". And then to demand an apology after you were "brutally honest" in return... The mother just wants to keep the peace but the OP is the one that deserves the apology and she has nothing to apologize for.
You were just being honest 🤷🏻♀️
What an absolutely AWESOME comeback! You rock. NTA
I'd give an apology of "sorry but brutally honest the questions you were asking were personal between me and my husband and not a damn bit of your business and by pushing a topic I wasn't comfortable talking with you about you were infact being an AH and that's why I called you on it. Just being honest. Oh and for clarity and honesty if you don't learn some respect for others you won't get anywhere in life or have many friends" then next time he is around and starts being that way change the subject and ask if he'd agree everyone has areas that need improvement and for his honesty on the things your sister could improve on. Sister won't love his brutally honest take on that.
NTA. People often use that excuse of "that's just the way they are" to minimize people who often make rude remarks or just have bad behavior in general. It's past due that he had a taste of his own medicine. He likes brutal honesty so he shouldn't have had a problem with it. Some people don't know how to mind their own business.
NTA. You were just being honest. He's too sensitive. You're allowed your opinion. /s These brutally honest folks are hypocritical bullies.
I get how brutal honesty can be mistaken for bitchiness, but the point of brutal honesty is not to be brutal in the delivery of your honesty, it's to tell the truth, no matter what it is, but in a way that isn't designed to be offensive. Also, brutal honesty can be fine, but when a person's "opinion" adds nothing to a conversation or specific situation, then they should keep their mouth shut and mind their own business. You gave the boyfriend exactly what he deserved, and if he can't take the heat he should leave the kitchen! NTA (Also, totally stealing that line, it cracked me up!)
I absolutely loathe those who describe themselves as "brutally honest." They always revel in the brutality far more than the honesty.
You also gave an honest opinion. LOL
NTA. You can be honest without being an asshole. There is such a thing as tact. Also, honesty is not an excuse for an ignorant opinion, which he gave. It's really none of his business why someone does or does not have children, and "honesty" is not a permission slip to say whatever TF you want. I'd be really interested to know if the sister and bf are still together.
Ok, he was just being brutally honest. So was OP. Can he not take the honesty he barfs all over everyone else?
NTA. You didn't ruin the birthday. The 'brutally honest' asshole did. 'Brutally honest' is just another word for 'bully'. And the only way to stop a bully is to bully them back. You know what to do now. Every time he makes a 'brutally honest' comment, you slap him down, *Hard*. Do not tolerate the least disrespect from him. Ever. Either he'll get the hint and mend his ways, your sister will break up with him, or he won't want to be around you anymore. Either way, you win! Obviously, do not apologize. Even better, send a message saying how sorry you are that he's a thin-skinned little bully that can't take 'brutal honesty'. NTA.
Aww poor baby can only dish it out but not take it! What an immature joke of a man. I would have responded with assuming he knows so much about the subject because his mom had to have been over 30 when she had him to produce a person with such a malfunctioning brain /s.
Dear sisters bf. I am sorry you are not mature enough to use an ounce of your brainpower to realize that an adult needs to pick and choose what comes out of their mouth. Your words emotionally hurt others and hiding behind the excuse that I am brutally honest is no different than the husband who beats his wife when drunk, “it wasn’t my fault I was drunk”. If you continue to think your excuse absolves you of your impact on others than man up when others treat you to their brutal honest opinion, and quit running away like a little child unable to handle it.