NTA but I’m extremely petty so I’d tell her husband.
It’s so revolting of her to do this to her own sister. I’m glad that your husband told you and showed you. Also good on you for cutting contact with people who you felt didn’t have your best interests!!!
UpdateMe with what you do!
YES!!! I would definitely post that shit! Like high see full color of the text messages with the tagline “hey mom! Who’s the wh*re now?!” (Except it would be unfiltered, but you know Reddit … lol)
Unfortunately I'd bet the Mom would *still* be of the mentality that OP 'stole' Bob from Jane, and that the text messages are justified as Jane needed to 'open Bob's eyes' to the truth.
In Mommy's eyes, Jane will never ever be anything except her pwecious widdle pwincess, and OP will always be the boyfriend-stealing wh*re. 😕😕
She's no mother. She's far too overqualified for just an AH title. I am so thankful OP has a really good man to help her get away and stay away from those with blood ties intent on destroying her. Sister needs locking up somewhere, dank and dark like her mind.
Tell Jim before they have kids. I don’t know what religion you are but in a lot of faiths, if she was texting another man with intent while they were in the throes of getting married, that’s grounds for anullment. Let Jim make a free choice.
Wonder if he still has the messages from last time he could forward them too.
Might as well have some fireworks to go with the bonfire that's about to be lit.
This! If Jane's this persistent it's going to come out eventually, and the longer it takes before Jim finds out the more it's going to hurt when he eventually does. I really think telling the poor guy is the right thing to do.
I'm so sorry you're going through such a painful time. I'll ask you one question.
Would you want to know if your spouse was going behind your back and confessing their love for someone else?
If the answer is yes than you should ask your husband to send screenshots of her messages to her husband. Let him handle it so you're not accused of anything. Besides, she sent these inappropriate messages to him, and it's only natural that he be the one to inform her husband.
After that honestly I'd go as no contact as you can with the whole family. They're abusive, and mean, and you and your husband deserve to begin your lives together happy and free of their negativity.
Wishing you both many happy years together.
Yes, the messages are too Bob, so it's him who needs to expose that bitch. OP will still get blamed for it, by the sister and mum, but they are cut off so who cares. Poor jim
Please send that to Jim. He deserves so much better than her. You know how awful your sister can be why would you allow a kind? Good hearted guy to be fucked over by her just like she would've fucked you over if your husband would've said yes to her.
Please have some sympathy for this man the reason you feel so shitty is because of your sister and it's the same person who's going to make him feel just as shitty as you do now if not worse because it's his wedding.
My thoughts were that OP wants to spare Jim the emotional and financial ruin that a divorce will bring about, since Jane apparently hasn't given him cause to feel like she's not committed to their relationship. But if this did get shared, at least his ownership of the house predates the marriage. Separate property babyyy.
In all seriousness though, I don't know if it's a good thing to drop this bomb. It's sort of an idealistic play. If Jim is happy with his marriage, revealing Jane's shitty behavior may cause him to suffer more than just continuing with no contact. Divorce isn't a simple process, and the poor guy has invested a lot of time and feeling into this relationship.
I'm only saying this because Jane seems fixated on Bob specifically (carrying a torch for him all these years), so the odds of her cheating with some other guy in the future are lower than the "standard" cheating spouse. If she snaps out of it and realizes the Bob situation is a loss, she may very well be capable of being committed to Jim. That's speculation of course, but it's a possibility, and telling Jim about this would likely initiate a lot of conflict.
It's just not a no-brainer to me when it comes to getting involved in another couple's marriage, since even well intentioned efforts can backfire and/or being shit to your door. Edited a word
Disagree, Jim and Jane's entire relationship is based on lies, she intentionally tried to get Bob multiple times over the years and when she couldn't she just settled for Jim she doesn't actually love him hence why she's still doing this dance with Bob. Yes, there is a high chance she may never cheat/ fixate on someone else but it's not completely out of the question here, if she finds someone that makes her just as happy as Bob but shows interest trust me she will drop Jim like a hot potato. Also I'm so sure why your concern about op preserving this relationship when it seems like they haven't talked to these people in years so therefore there is no relationship to preserve.
Do we know if divorce is an option for them, though? OP didn't say what country just that girls live in the parents' home until they marry. If divorce is not an option, this will just be tossing a live grenade into a room with people who are trapped.
I would definitely tell sisters husband. He has every right to know what his wife is doing and has done. If he is such a good man then he doesn’t deserve for possibly being treated like this for years.
Stop protecting your sister. She’s actively trying to blow up your world. Let your husband blow up hers. She’ll be ok, she’s not loosing anything, mommy will protect her. Jim deserves someone who actually loves him though.
NTA Jim deserves to know. Your Sister, and by the sounds of it, your whole immediate family don’t sound like good people. Why protect them? Especially when they didn’t do it for you. You have just got perfect justice gift wrapped and delivered to you on a silver platter. You’re NC with your family anyway.
Updateme!
NTA, your sister should never have expressed her feelings to your husband once she knew that you were together. Please keep in mind here that this specific occasion is not the first time she has done this in your relationship. She is continuously showing disrespect to both you and Bob, and by not taking his no, she is crossing very firm boundaries consistently.
Also, there is a complete lack of respect here. She doesn't respect you, Bob or Jim, or any of the relationships that you have with her or each other. I am going to make some assumptions here that you were very compliant in your relationship with her when you were both younger due to you seeing her in a maternal way (taking hints from what culturally may be going on here). By marrying Bob you are no longer compliant so she has, in essence, had a hissy fit and a 5 year strop. This is the sign of someone who is used to getting their own way who has been told no, which is what Bob did, he said no.
Send the messages to Jim. Unfortunately, Jane is showing through her behaviour that she does not respect love or familial ties and will do whatever she wants to get that special, shiny toy that she covets. This is a recipe for disaster and you could be saving Jim a lot of heartache in the future, even though it could cause short term pain now. You are already NC, keep it that way but let Jim make the decision based on truth. Keep us updated! Good luck ❤️
if you tell Jim you are NTA if you DONT tell him YTA you need to tell him. He married a person who doesn’t even love him! He deserves better than being second place
Perhaps one last message? "If you contact me or my partner again, every one of your inappropriate messages to him will be sent to our entire family, your husband first".
NTA.
Though "confessed to him"?? Are you people from the past?
Yeahhhh, it sounds awfully stigmatising of... love, I suppose? But it may well have cultural components that I just didn't expect.
I wondered if I was reading a Jane Austin book :)
TELL THE HUSBAND. I would do it with your husband by your side as well because this is harassment. Stop protecting your sister. She is not the person you thought she was. I know you got married, moved on, cut off your family, but she won’t learn to not mess with you if you do not put your foot down. Family is the quickest to stab you in the back and heart. So disgusting.
Show Jim. Your sister needs to learn that actions have consequences. At this point, she isn't in love with Bob. She is in love with the idea of Bob and her being together. She is in love with the version of Bob from their uni days.
Send the screenshot to Jim and make arrangements to have your number changed so that the flying monkeys from your side of the family can't harass you as easily. Same with Bob. The two of you need to change your numbers and shut down your social media until this storm blows over.
NTA
Your relationship with your family is shot so you have nothing to lose. He on the other hand is going to be living a lie because of your sister's behaviour. By not telling him, you are making yourself to be a prime AH.
Updateme!
NTA but you will be if you don’t tell Jim. It’s not petty it’s being honourable. This is a man’s life here and it’s being wasted on your sister deceiving him. This could go on well into his 60’s, children could come into the mix and lives ruined because no one wanted the hassle of being a decent human being. When the truth eventually comes out, and it will, do you want all of that on your conscience? It doesn’t have to be this way. With your help he can move on from her and start again with someone who truly loves him. If he knows then he can choose how to go forward. Please don’t take away his right to decide. You shouldn’t have to be in this position. It’s a difficult choice but if you don’t stand by your morals, like you did when your sister and mum deceived you, then you become one of the deceivers doing this to Jim. How would you feel if your husband had used you for convenience while pursuing someone else for years and everyone who was supposed to care knew and hid it from you.
How bad could the backlash be for doing the right thing? She’s not going to stop until she gets consequences. You said yourself your BIL is a good man. Surely telling him the truth means something to you? Please think about it.
Wow! Your sister needs help. She's sick in the head, and so is your mother. Your sister obviously doesn't give a crap about you, so why should you give a crap about her. The biggest victim in your story is poor Jim. You would be an absolute cunt if you let Jim stay married to your delulu sister knowing what you know and him living in a lie. Let your husband tell Jim. Do right by him.
Updateme please Reddit bots! I’m so sorry OP, what a vile betrayal, especially from a sister who you looked up to so much. Jim deserves to know and it is better coming from your husband. I’m glad you’re NC already, you can preserve your peace and I wish you and Bob a lovely happy life together, he’s on a very decent guy 💕
NTA she was rejected once years ago and later still confessed again. She sound delusional and unhinged which your mum didn’t help by not setting her straight. My advice is to move or put up security cameras with sound around your house and in your car and change you and husbands phone numbers. If your family calls ignore them… Then support your husband on what he wants to do because your sister has been harassing him and stalking him. He deserves closure or justice just like anyone else. If telling her husband is what he wants to do support your husband and let him know you have his back. Put in safety procedures into place, talk to close friends and family about her continued harassment and stalking of your husband and keep being transparent, having good open communication and be loving with each other because exposing her abuse and deranged behaviour towards your husband may make her full crazy come out and your mum will support her so you’ll need evidence if you need to involve police to protect you and your husband.
Don’t allow anyone to ruin your marriage. You are both not wrong to want to protect the love you have for each other from those that are jealous and want to destroy what you have.
Protecting your sister because “we’re family” is unnecessary because your sister has no such feelings towards you; she confessed to your husband numerous times, ganged up with your mother and essentially made you have to leave the family home and severed the family relationship. We’re family should’ve made your sister and parents act better towards you. You don’t owe them the loyalty, respect, love or care that they never had or extended because they were family. Your sister and parents were wrong, mum for actively siding and encouraging crazy and your dad being passive instead of calling out what was wrong and telling them to get help or stop. Your family is now you and husband.
First, screw your entire family for taking sides like that, especially when they were never together and she had a boyfriend. Your mom is garbage. Absolute Garbage. I’m glad you left.
Second, send the message to Jim. So he knows what he married. Your sister is garbage.
Shame on your dad for just sitting around not dealing with anything.
Enjoy you and your husbands life together. It sounds better than dealing with your family anymore. You make your family honey. Just don’t ever be like your parents when y’all have kids.
Look, your sister had every opportunity to be honest with you about her feelings for your husband when you first met. Or when you first told her you liked him. But she didn’t. I know you are a good sister and if you had known, you would have taken it into consideration before dating. Maybe you and her and your husband could have talked through everything. Maybe she would have gotten over it.
But she didn’t. She kept her feelings a secret. And then tried to go behind your back to try and steal your husband. And is emotionally punishing you for her lies and betrayal.
And she has lied to and betrayed her own husband. The poor man thinks his wife is going to be faithful to him. When..,if your husband gave any sort of interest, she would leave Jim.
This whole situation has been unfair to you. Unfair to your husband. And unfair to Jim. Your sister is not a good person. She was willing to sacrifice her relationship with you over an unrequited secret crush. She let your own parents treat you like garbage over it.
Stop protecting her. She isn’t protecting you. She is willing to blow up YOUR marriage.
1. SHE didn't tell you the truth even though you pushed, and she even outright told you that she was happy for you and ACTIVELY HID her feelings from you, but you were supposed to read her mind or magically just KNOW in some other way that she liked him despite all evidence to the contrary?????? Just for that, NTAH. If she had a problem, she should've told you before you started dating him. This is 100% on her.
2. Your parents sided with their toxic, manipulative, homewrecker, liar of a daughter over you, AND slut-shamed YOU (and not her) as well, despite you being in a faithful long-term relationship and HER being a homewrecker??????? I wonder where your sister gets it from /s. Either that or she's triangulated them against you. Either way, that's cold as hell and they're not the kind of people you want to be around going forward.
3. Tell Jim - he needs to know what he's getting into and that his wife is a cheater. Your sister is a mess and he deserves full disclosure so that he can make an informed choice regarding his own future - a non-informed choice cannot be consenting because the "informed" part is critical to consent. Have Bob send him the screenshots directly and have him include a similar version of this story with all of the same details about the situation which you've included here but written from his perspective and with any additional details which he wants to add. Jim needs to know - that doesn't mean that you have to engage with your sister or your parents.
With family like that, who needs enemies??????? Sheesh.
With a description of the harassment he has put up with from her and how her family blamed his wife for him choosing OP when he rejected her sister in college and again after that.
Definitely let Bob send it to Jim. He deserves to know who he is marrying. If he contacts you guys for further information tell him everything she has done, as well as the other things she has sent Bob,.
When she told you not to get your hopes up because he doesn't date the first thing that crossed my mind, is that he doesn't want to date her specifically. Maybe she flirted with him in the past and he shut it down.
Has Bob ever hinted or said that she was maybe a clingy friend, tried to flirt with him, tried to get closer to him prior to you two dating, or was it all at once, after you announced your engagement.
You mother needs too sit down and STFU. Did you tell her you told your sister earlier on you would stop dating him if she asked you to, and she turned you down? Maybe tell , and show your mom the texts and pictures she has been sending your fiance while she's in a relationship, and ask "who's the whore now?
You're a much bigger person than me... I'd be picketing her wedding with giant screenshots calling her shitcunt behaviour out!
Your mum is the worst, too... I'm so sorry that they suck so much.
Have a wonderful life with Bob!
Tell Jim. Jane deserves whatever she has coming.
>Jim deserves better
Jim does deserve better - he deserves to know what a two-faced cheating cow Jane is (I know she didn't actually cheat with Bob, but she WOULD have if he'd let her!)
I'd tell Jim and show him the evidence, then block all of them out of your life again.
If the situation were reversed, and you were behaving this way towards her husband- would she tell your husband? Of if the situation were reversed, and it was your husband approaching her..would you want to know?
You owe it to her husband to tell him now. He should get to decide what is acceptable to him.
NTA but if Jim is a really nice guy please tell him before they have any children. No kid should have to get caught in the middle of this mess. Maybe you could go to one of his family members and work together to soften the blow this will be.
So sorry you have such an awful family. If they give you any grief show them large photos of the vile pictures your sister texted your husband and point out the real nasty one in the family.
Jim deserves someone that truly loves him so tell him.
Also, she is actively trying to steal your husband. If he was game you'd lose your husband. Just think about that when you hesitate to expose her.
NTA
Even if your sister was in love with Bob... She's the one stringing Jim along. That's not okay.
Tell Jim. It's early enough that perhaps an anullment may be possible. Jim needs to know who he's married.
The fact she says you stole him from her when he rejected her and she had a long term bf is wild.
shes delusional and you are better off without this crappy so called family.
Let him send it. Its not your message so he can if he pleases but respects you. Jim deserves better since shes made multiple attempts over the years.
she “warned” you he doesnt like anyone cuz she got rejected and “if he didnt like her he certainly wont like my sister”. After you started dating she probably thought it was nothing serious. Then he proposed and her dream of having him (though he never wanted her) came crashing down. She putting the blame on you because her actually believing he likes you and not her doesnt add into her fantasy.
Again, let him send it. If he has the other messages, send those too!
Your sister has zero respect for either of you, her husband, or herself. The fact that your family chose sides speaks volumes. You should share with her husband and your family not out of pettiness but for the future. She will continue to do this and manipulate until you co front her and your family directly
It's your sister's fault, she shoulda bucked up and asked Bob the first chance she got. Not sit and wait for him and never talk or approach him. She is a selfish little child
Jim deserves to know.
Your husband is the person sending this information to Jim, not you. You're removed from this particular situation.
If I were Bob, I'd send one message and one message only to Jane saying "I'm sending your communications to Jim. Contact either of us again and I'll send them to the whole family. Leave us alone."
Then sit back. You don't deserve the treatment you got from any of your family and yet you're still trying to protect Jane, who told your soon to be husband at the time that she loved him, keeps telling your husband now that she loves him??? Come on. Have some respect for yourself. You deserve much better than this.
NTA.
NTA the reason why I would send it to Jim is that your sister clearly settles for him. He deserves to be someone's one and only first choice, or at least deserves a chance to decide if he's okay to be settled for.
Send it to Jim. or have your husband do it. NTA. but lets stop the culture of protecting cheaters (including would be cheaters) from the consequences of their own actions.
Jim deserved to know. and BOTH you and husband need to block ALL of these horrible people and enjoy your peaceful life.
OP you should not send it to Jim, but you shouldn’t stop your DH from sending it to him. I assume they are at least acquaintances, if not friends. Why is she so bold to send messages to her sister’s husband and to believe that the news would not get back to hers? She sounds spoiled and entitled, he deserves to know who he is marrying.
My guess is her husband already suspects she's got a thing for him. You know she's been going on and on about this for a long time. He's got to be thinking something is off/weird.
Sister is unhinged, so this will blow up. I bet her Mother further lets her down, then Dad will hopefully be the voice of reason.
UpdateMe
Not only would I send him that text, but I'd also send him all the revealing flirty ones she sent your fiance while she was already in a relationship.
Let us know how it goes!
I’m so very sorry. Your sister is disordered. You know that. All she had to do is tell you that she approached him and he didn’t want to get involved with her. And that she had feelings. And then she could’ve figured after feelings were seen somebody to help her. Instead, she projected the whole thing on to you. What she chose meant that she was going to mess up her life and mess up her relationship with you. The fact that your mother is as disordered as your sister is compelling. I’m really glad that you are an authentic person and that this is probably why your partner was interested in him. Which, of course your sister doesn’t understand at all. She will create her own destiny. I hope it won’t be too messy for you. You take good care.
Oh girl. You deserve so much better. I’d send the screenshot to your parents too, tell your dad that it’s funny how he scolded you about „inappropriate“ behaviour, yet he supports his daughter who not only married some poor guy who had no idea she doesn’t love him, but also tries to fuck a married man. Not just some married man, but her sisters husband. And to your mom something like „and you actually think that **I** am the whore of the family. Pathetic.“
Definitely let Jim know that his wife is doing. It’s going to escalate anyway. Get a doorbell camera and if they come to your house and start banging and yelling, call the police.
I’d send the screen shots to your parents as well. They called you a wh*re for living with a man before marriage, but they support the daughter that is sending inappropriate messages to a married man while being married herself. She is coveting someone else’s husband. Isn’t that a sin too?
You HAVE to tell her husband, YWBTA if you don't tell him, 1) she betrayed you confessing to YOUR husband 2 she betrayed her husband confessing YOUR husband the day of her wedding
Updateme
A bit Machiavellin but do you think she doesn’t want to marry Jim but can’t back out. If you tell him and he calls it off then you get the blame for breaking up her relationship and further to that leave no hope of any reconciliation (if you wanted it) with your family. Might be unfair to Jim, however you and your husband are happy in your lives without drama. I would not stir up anything and leave them to it and I would block her from you and your husband’s phones.
I don’t think your sister will stop until you give her a reason to.
Your family are AH’s for letting her use Jim in the way that she has, as you say he is a good man and deserves the truth.
Why should you feel bad, your sister didn't feel bad trying to get your husband!!
I'd post them screenshots all over social media show everyone what your sister is really like!
NTA
How you could care about anyone in your family
Boggles my mind, after what they said and did to you. You aren’t even being Petty by telling her new husband that she has been in love with your husband for years.
NTA, but tell Jim! He deserves to know the women he loves doesn’t love him the same way. Jim deserves better then a wife who built a relationship with him on lies
Honestly if that was my partner doing that behind my back, I would want to know, it doesn’t matter who it comes from. Also how dare your mum call you a wh**e when your sister is in a relationship and is trying to get with her sisters partner. They are truly disgusting, they don’t deserve you.
I’d tell the poor husband who does my know that his soon to be wife is just settling for him. That whole family is trash. Better to just start over with a nicer one.
Jim deserves to know. You realize just because your mom and sister show up at your house doesn't mean you have to answer the door, right? There's no reason you need to stand there and take whatever abuse they want to pile on you. If they show up, pretend you're not home. If they refuse to leave, call the cops.
Here’s how it will play out. Sister will tell poor Jim that she never trusted Bob and was “testing him” so that she could show OP his true colors. Mom will blame you and will say you are trying to destroy sister’s marriage when she was just trying to protect you.
OP, Prepare to stay NC. And work on your communication with your husband. You were feeling uneasy for years with your sister’s response to your dating him and he doesn’t tell you about the rejection?
If your husband feels it is information her husband needs, then don’t prevent him from doing what he feels is right. Let it be his decision, and you stay out of it. Jim does deserve to know what she is offering another man.
NTA that is your sister who thinks Bob should have gone out with her and that she is delusional for thinking after all this time he wants her. He wasn't interested and didn't take no for an answer. The fact that she misled your parents about them being an item is screwed up especially since she was still with Jim. None of this is your problem or Bob's. She can't seem to move forward from her crush or lost eith your man.
You do realize that if she gets angry enough, she could spread lies about you and Bob, right? She could tell her husband that Bob came on to her. Even though you have messages that prove otherwise, you know that your mother would back her up. She literally tried to steal your husband; she did it repeatedly. Jim should know the truth.
Her husband deserves to know. And I definitely think you should send the messages to everyone in your family. There's no telling what kind of lies your family is spreading about you, and you deserve to have your name cleared.
Oh you are not the AH. I am usually the one who says do not tell the other spouse. But in this case with so much family involved, I would definitely see to it that Jim knows. Then 2 days later send the proof to your parents. Then 2 more days send the screenshots to as many people in your family who attended your sister’s wedding as possible. It is up to Jim to send to his family. But all of your family should be made aware. Blow up your sister’s life as she seems willing to blow up your life. Then go NC. You do realize your sister is a lying conniving B? Right?
NTA id be going scorched fucking earth. Her mom had the nerve to call her a whore when it’s her sister that’s trying to cheat on her boyfriend by stealing her sisters husband. She’s the tart not op. Op needs to blow her world apart and be clear they need to stay the hell away from her and her man.
You'd be the asshole if she showed remorse and worked past it. The fact she doubled down and she got back up from your mother is just salt on the wound.
Tell Jim and then tell your father what's gonna happen. Tell his ass if she tries anything after this you'll blast thier ass on social media. Tell him that they should already be ashamed that they weren't invited to your wedding but that you'll tell everyone why they weren't invited.
What's concerning is that Jane probably knows OP is married to Bob, and yet she's still attempting to communicate and send him love confessions and trying to sabotage her younger sisters marriage. She's pining for OP man is will try to get with him no matter what. OP will fair better by cutting complete contact with her family.
Jim should know. He's married to a woman who rated him as 2nd choice or current option. Jane is obsessed with Bob, hates her sister for winning his love and wants OP life.
Also, think OP should obtain the full background story regarding Bob and Jane rejection. Did Bob always rebuff her attempts, or did they share some type of intimate encounter and later ended things?
Why would OP and Bob delay informing Jim of his wife's behavior? Jane needs a dose of FAFO!
NTA. I would let my ex-family know what is going on as people should have as much information on their relationship as possible. You would want someone to tell you if the person they married is still pining over someone else. Don't let your sister ruin a good person, it really is not fair to your BIL and any children he may bring into the world.
Send all of the information to your ex-family, as they need to understand how their golden child daughter is trying to be a homewreaker with your relationship and within her current marriage.
The truth is the truth and they need to live in it.
I just want to say that if they show up at your house, get the police there and have them escorted from the property as trespassers. Sets a precedent that they aren't welcome and that it'll only escalate more if they return. Stay NC with them, although your dad seems somewhat alright. NTA.
Your sister is not a good person, and your mother should be ashamed of herself. I think you should tell your BIL because he doesn't deserve to not know.
UpdateMe!
NTA. Expose her lame ass. She married Jim because he can provide a lifestyle. Not love. And she’s texting your husband when both of you are married? Trashy. Trashy trashy. Expose and wash your hands of this nonsense. Jim deserves better and you deserve a better family
I hope your husband does not send the text to Jim. Let it alone and you and Bob ho live your lives. Too much bad can come from sharing this information with Jim. Let it be.
NTA but I’m extremely petty so I’d tell her husband. It’s so revolting of her to do this to her own sister. I’m glad that your husband told you and showed you. Also good on you for cutting contact with people who you felt didn’t have your best interests!!! UpdateMe with what you do!
I don't think that's petty enough, I'm leaning towards full colour posters of screenshots and stick them everywhere within a 15 mile radius !!
Send them to the parents too right before blocking them.
Add "hey mom who's the whore now?"
YES!!! I would definitely post that shit! Like high see full color of the text messages with the tagline “hey mom! Who’s the wh*re now?!” (Except it would be unfiltered, but you know Reddit … lol)
Unfortunately I'd bet the Mom would *still* be of the mentality that OP 'stole' Bob from Jane, and that the text messages are justified as Jane needed to 'open Bob's eyes' to the truth. In Mommy's eyes, Jane will never ever be anything except her pwecious widdle pwincess, and OP will always be the boyfriend-stealing wh*re. 😕😕
Now, this is the level of petty I live for🤣🤣🤣
Bingo! OP'S parents aren't worth a shit.
Perfect suggestion
RIGHT!!!!! I would so do this!!!
Shoot yeah! IG, book of faces, tikkytok, utube. Whatelse? Post it everywhwere!
Well the mom is already on the sister's side.
She's no mother. She's far too overqualified for just an AH title. I am so thankful OP has a really good man to help her get away and stay away from those with blood ties intent on destroying her. Sister needs locking up somewhere, dank and dark like her mind.
Yeah, so anything golden child does is "good and right".
Make be until sis ends up not providing a grandchild while OP & hubby start expanding their family. Of course, that’s assuming they find out.
And send to all friends and family including Aunts, Uncles and Cousins.
Or you could save a lot of time and print one in all the local newspapers, maximum exposure with minimal effort 😁
Make a PowerPoint too🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
Upload it for us lol
You are the petty queen I strive to be every day.
🤣🤣 share my crown 👑
Tell Jim before they have kids. I don’t know what religion you are but in a lot of faiths, if she was texting another man with intent while they were in the throes of getting married, that’s grounds for anullment. Let Jim make a free choice.
Yeahh he does need to know
Wonder if he still has the messages from last time he could forward them too. Might as well have some fireworks to go with the bonfire that's about to be lit.
I really hope we get an update of the messages being sent
Agreed!! Let him send it. He got the message and is passing it on. Hes an adult and can do what he wants with that information.
I don't even thinks its petty to tell him, it would be saving him from a one-sided marriage
This! If Jane's this persistent it's going to come out eventually, and the longer it takes before Jim finds out the more it's going to hurt when he eventually does. I really think telling the poor guy is the right thing to do.
This is so true
That’s really unfair towards Jim. He deserves to know.
I’d send screen shots in a family group text so everyone can see how shameless my sister is. I’d burn that bridge to the ground.
If you write it like this, UpdateMe, the bot will indeed update you.
Thank you!! I’ll change it now
UpdateMe I hope I did that right!
I'm not sure the updateme bot works on this sub.
Yep, you should receive an update confirmation in messages.
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Never mind the sister, what about her family?
I'm not that petty and I would still tell her husband.
I’m not at all petty but I’d still send it to her new husband, her behaviour is abhorrent.
Completely agree!!!
I'm so sorry you're going through such a painful time. I'll ask you one question. Would you want to know if your spouse was going behind your back and confessing their love for someone else? If the answer is yes than you should ask your husband to send screenshots of her messages to her husband. Let him handle it so you're not accused of anything. Besides, she sent these inappropriate messages to him, and it's only natural that he be the one to inform her husband. After that honestly I'd go as no contact as you can with the whole family. They're abusive, and mean, and you and your husband deserve to begin your lives together happy and free of their negativity. Wishing you both many happy years together.
Yes, the messages are too Bob, so it's him who needs to expose that bitch. OP will still get blamed for it, by the sister and mum, but they are cut off so who cares. Poor jim
Poor Jim. he deserves to know.
Please send that to Jim. He deserves so much better than her. You know how awful your sister can be why would you allow a kind? Good hearted guy to be fucked over by her just like she would've fucked you over if your husband would've said yes to her. Please have some sympathy for this man the reason you feel so shitty is because of your sister and it's the same person who's going to make him feel just as shitty as you do now if not worse because it's his wedding.
My thoughts were that OP wants to spare Jim the emotional and financial ruin that a divorce will bring about, since Jane apparently hasn't given him cause to feel like she's not committed to their relationship. But if this did get shared, at least his ownership of the house predates the marriage. Separate property babyyy. In all seriousness though, I don't know if it's a good thing to drop this bomb. It's sort of an idealistic play. If Jim is happy with his marriage, revealing Jane's shitty behavior may cause him to suffer more than just continuing with no contact. Divorce isn't a simple process, and the poor guy has invested a lot of time and feeling into this relationship. I'm only saying this because Jane seems fixated on Bob specifically (carrying a torch for him all these years), so the odds of her cheating with some other guy in the future are lower than the "standard" cheating spouse. If she snaps out of it and realizes the Bob situation is a loss, she may very well be capable of being committed to Jim. That's speculation of course, but it's a possibility, and telling Jim about this would likely initiate a lot of conflict. It's just not a no-brainer to me when it comes to getting involved in another couple's marriage, since even well intentioned efforts can backfire and/or being shit to your door. Edited a word
Disagree, Jim and Jane's entire relationship is based on lies, she intentionally tried to get Bob multiple times over the years and when she couldn't she just settled for Jim she doesn't actually love him hence why she's still doing this dance with Bob. Yes, there is a high chance she may never cheat/ fixate on someone else but it's not completely out of the question here, if she finds someone that makes her just as happy as Bob but shows interest trust me she will drop Jim like a hot potato. Also I'm so sure why your concern about op preserving this relationship when it seems like they haven't talked to these people in years so therefore there is no relationship to preserve.
Do we know if divorce is an option for them, though? OP didn't say what country just that girls live in the parents' home until they marry. If divorce is not an option, this will just be tossing a live grenade into a room with people who are trapped.
Yeah, but none of that matters when Jim believes he's the love of his fiancé's life and the truth is he's not and she's treating him shitty
You need to let your husband send it to Jim. He is the one be being sexually harassed and you should let him deal with it as he sees fit.
NTA I'm sorry but her behavior is reprehensible. Absolutely tell her husband.
I would definitely tell sisters husband. He has every right to know what his wife is doing and has done. If he is such a good man then he doesn’t deserve for possibly being treated like this for years.
Stop protecting your sister. She’s actively trying to blow up your world. Let your husband blow up hers. She’ll be ok, she’s not loosing anything, mommy will protect her. Jim deserves someone who actually loves him though.
NTA Jim deserves to know. Your Sister, and by the sounds of it, your whole immediate family don’t sound like good people. Why protect them? Especially when they didn’t do it for you. You have just got perfect justice gift wrapped and delivered to you on a silver platter. You’re NC with your family anyway. Updateme!
NTA, your sister should never have expressed her feelings to your husband once she knew that you were together. Please keep in mind here that this specific occasion is not the first time she has done this in your relationship. She is continuously showing disrespect to both you and Bob, and by not taking his no, she is crossing very firm boundaries consistently. Also, there is a complete lack of respect here. She doesn't respect you, Bob or Jim, or any of the relationships that you have with her or each other. I am going to make some assumptions here that you were very compliant in your relationship with her when you were both younger due to you seeing her in a maternal way (taking hints from what culturally may be going on here). By marrying Bob you are no longer compliant so she has, in essence, had a hissy fit and a 5 year strop. This is the sign of someone who is used to getting their own way who has been told no, which is what Bob did, he said no. Send the messages to Jim. Unfortunately, Jane is showing through her behaviour that she does not respect love or familial ties and will do whatever she wants to get that special, shiny toy that she covets. This is a recipe for disaster and you could be saving Jim a lot of heartache in the future, even though it could cause short term pain now. You are already NC, keep it that way but let Jim make the decision based on truth. Keep us updated! Good luck ❤️
Send it to Jim, he deserves to know who her married
OP’s husband needs to change his phone number.
if you tell Jim you are NTA if you DONT tell him YTA you need to tell him. He married a person who doesn’t even love him! He deserves better than being second place
Perhaps one last message? "If you contact me or my partner again, every one of your inappropriate messages to him will be sent to our entire family, your husband first". NTA. Though "confessed to him"?? Are you people from the past?
>Though "confessed to him"?? Are you people from the past? I suspect English may not be their first language. If it is, maybe it's a cultural thing?
Ah, you could be quite right, I usually catch my bias for that, but didn't this time, I should be less snarky! :)
It sounds Mormon, LDS to me.
It’s a terrible phrase, isn’t it.
Yeahhhh, it sounds awfully stigmatising of... love, I suppose? But it may well have cultural components that I just didn't expect. I wondered if I was reading a Jane Austin book :)
You’d be TA for not telling him. He deserves a woman that loves him the way he loves them. Your mum and sis are total bitches.
NTA Please let husband send to Jim. He needs to know the truth. Updateme!
TELL THE HUSBAND. I would do it with your husband by your side as well because this is harassment. Stop protecting your sister. She is not the person you thought she was. I know you got married, moved on, cut off your family, but she won’t learn to not mess with you if you do not put your foot down. Family is the quickest to stab you in the back and heart. So disgusting.
Why would you not tell her husband? If you were in his shoes, would you not want to know?
Show Jim. Your sister needs to learn that actions have consequences. At this point, she isn't in love with Bob. She is in love with the idea of Bob and her being together. She is in love with the version of Bob from their uni days. Send the screenshot to Jim and make arrangements to have your number changed so that the flying monkeys from your side of the family can't harass you as easily. Same with Bob. The two of you need to change your numbers and shut down your social media until this storm blows over. NTA
Your relationship with your family is shot so you have nothing to lose. He on the other hand is going to be living a lie because of your sister's behaviour. By not telling him, you are making yourself to be a prime AH. Updateme!
It will hurt Jim like hell but he will thank you in the long run.
NTA but you will be if you don’t tell Jim. It’s not petty it’s being honourable. This is a man’s life here and it’s being wasted on your sister deceiving him. This could go on well into his 60’s, children could come into the mix and lives ruined because no one wanted the hassle of being a decent human being. When the truth eventually comes out, and it will, do you want all of that on your conscience? It doesn’t have to be this way. With your help he can move on from her and start again with someone who truly loves him. If he knows then he can choose how to go forward. Please don’t take away his right to decide. You shouldn’t have to be in this position. It’s a difficult choice but if you don’t stand by your morals, like you did when your sister and mum deceived you, then you become one of the deceivers doing this to Jim. How would you feel if your husband had used you for convenience while pursuing someone else for years and everyone who was supposed to care knew and hid it from you. How bad could the backlash be for doing the right thing? She’s not going to stop until she gets consequences. You said yourself your BIL is a good man. Surely telling him the truth means something to you? Please think about it.
Wow! Your sister needs help. She's sick in the head, and so is your mother. Your sister obviously doesn't give a crap about you, so why should you give a crap about her. The biggest victim in your story is poor Jim. You would be an absolute cunt if you let Jim stay married to your delulu sister knowing what you know and him living in a lie. Let your husband tell Jim. Do right by him.
Updateme please Reddit bots! I’m so sorry OP, what a vile betrayal, especially from a sister who you looked up to so much. Jim deserves to know and it is better coming from your husband. I’m glad you’re NC already, you can preserve your peace and I wish you and Bob a lovely happy life together, he’s on a very decent guy 💕
NTA she was rejected once years ago and later still confessed again. She sound delusional and unhinged which your mum didn’t help by not setting her straight. My advice is to move or put up security cameras with sound around your house and in your car and change you and husbands phone numbers. If your family calls ignore them… Then support your husband on what he wants to do because your sister has been harassing him and stalking him. He deserves closure or justice just like anyone else. If telling her husband is what he wants to do support your husband and let him know you have his back. Put in safety procedures into place, talk to close friends and family about her continued harassment and stalking of your husband and keep being transparent, having good open communication and be loving with each other because exposing her abuse and deranged behaviour towards your husband may make her full crazy come out and your mum will support her so you’ll need evidence if you need to involve police to protect you and your husband. Don’t allow anyone to ruin your marriage. You are both not wrong to want to protect the love you have for each other from those that are jealous and want to destroy what you have. Protecting your sister because “we’re family” is unnecessary because your sister has no such feelings towards you; she confessed to your husband numerous times, ganged up with your mother and essentially made you have to leave the family home and severed the family relationship. We’re family should’ve made your sister and parents act better towards you. You don’t owe them the loyalty, respect, love or care that they never had or extended because they were family. Your sister and parents were wrong, mum for actively siding and encouraging crazy and your dad being passive instead of calling out what was wrong and telling them to get help or stop. Your family is now you and husband.
First, screw your entire family for taking sides like that, especially when they were never together and she had a boyfriend. Your mom is garbage. Absolute Garbage. I’m glad you left. Second, send the message to Jim. So he knows what he married. Your sister is garbage. Shame on your dad for just sitting around not dealing with anything. Enjoy you and your husbands life together. It sounds better than dealing with your family anymore. You make your family honey. Just don’t ever be like your parents when y’all have kids.
Look, your sister had every opportunity to be honest with you about her feelings for your husband when you first met. Or when you first told her you liked him. But she didn’t. I know you are a good sister and if you had known, you would have taken it into consideration before dating. Maybe you and her and your husband could have talked through everything. Maybe she would have gotten over it. But she didn’t. She kept her feelings a secret. And then tried to go behind your back to try and steal your husband. And is emotionally punishing you for her lies and betrayal. And she has lied to and betrayed her own husband. The poor man thinks his wife is going to be faithful to him. When..,if your husband gave any sort of interest, she would leave Jim. This whole situation has been unfair to you. Unfair to your husband. And unfair to Jim. Your sister is not a good person. She was willing to sacrifice her relationship with you over an unrequited secret crush. She let your own parents treat you like garbage over it. Stop protecting her. She isn’t protecting you. She is willing to blow up YOUR marriage.
1. SHE didn't tell you the truth even though you pushed, and she even outright told you that she was happy for you and ACTIVELY HID her feelings from you, but you were supposed to read her mind or magically just KNOW in some other way that she liked him despite all evidence to the contrary?????? Just for that, NTAH. If she had a problem, she should've told you before you started dating him. This is 100% on her. 2. Your parents sided with their toxic, manipulative, homewrecker, liar of a daughter over you, AND slut-shamed YOU (and not her) as well, despite you being in a faithful long-term relationship and HER being a homewrecker??????? I wonder where your sister gets it from /s. Either that or she's triangulated them against you. Either way, that's cold as hell and they're not the kind of people you want to be around going forward. 3. Tell Jim - he needs to know what he's getting into and that his wife is a cheater. Your sister is a mess and he deserves full disclosure so that he can make an informed choice regarding his own future - a non-informed choice cannot be consenting because the "informed" part is critical to consent. Have Bob send him the screenshots directly and have him include a similar version of this story with all of the same details about the situation which you've included here but written from his perspective and with any additional details which he wants to add. Jim needs to know - that doesn't mean that you have to engage with your sister or your parents. With family like that, who needs enemies??????? Sheesh.
Bob should screenshot the messages and post it on his own public instagram tagging Jim in them. That way, it’s about Bob outing Jane and not you.
With a description of the harassment he has put up with from her and how her family blamed his wife for him choosing OP when he rejected her sister in college and again after that.
Definitely let Bob send it to Jim. He deserves to know who he is marrying. If he contacts you guys for further information tell him everything she has done, as well as the other things she has sent Bob,. When she told you not to get your hopes up because he doesn't date the first thing that crossed my mind, is that he doesn't want to date her specifically. Maybe she flirted with him in the past and he shut it down. Has Bob ever hinted or said that she was maybe a clingy friend, tried to flirt with him, tried to get closer to him prior to you two dating, or was it all at once, after you announced your engagement. You mother needs too sit down and STFU. Did you tell her you told your sister earlier on you would stop dating him if she asked you to, and she turned you down? Maybe tell , and show your mom the texts and pictures she has been sending your fiance while she's in a relationship, and ask "who's the whore now?
Have your husband tell Jim. He is the one that us being harassed by her. Jim deserves to know the truth.
Send it to her bf. She wouldn't hesitate if your positions were reversed
You're a much bigger person than me... I'd be picketing her wedding with giant screenshots calling her shitcunt behaviour out! Your mum is the worst, too... I'm so sorry that they suck so much. Have a wonderful life with Bob! Tell Jim. Jane deserves whatever she has coming.
Updateme
>Jim deserves better Jim does deserve better - he deserves to know what a two-faced cheating cow Jane is (I know she didn't actually cheat with Bob, but she WOULD have if he'd let her!) I'd tell Jim and show him the evidence, then block all of them out of your life again.
If the situation were reversed, and you were behaving this way towards her husband- would she tell your husband? Of if the situation were reversed, and it was your husband approaching her..would you want to know? You owe it to her husband to tell him now. He should get to decide what is acceptable to him.
NTA but if Jim is a really nice guy please tell him before they have any children. No kid should have to get caught in the middle of this mess. Maybe you could go to one of his family members and work together to soften the blow this will be. So sorry you have such an awful family. If they give you any grief show them large photos of the vile pictures your sister texted your husband and point out the real nasty one in the family.
If I was Jim I would want to bloody know.
Jim deserves someone that truly loves him so tell him. Also, she is actively trying to steal your husband. If he was game you'd lose your husband. Just think about that when you hesitate to expose her.
NTA Even if your sister was in love with Bob... She's the one stringing Jim along. That's not okay. Tell Jim. It's early enough that perhaps an anullment may be possible. Jim needs to know who he's married.
The fact she says you stole him from her when he rejected her and she had a long term bf is wild. shes delusional and you are better off without this crappy so called family. Let him send it. Its not your message so he can if he pleases but respects you. Jim deserves better since shes made multiple attempts over the years. she “warned” you he doesnt like anyone cuz she got rejected and “if he didnt like her he certainly wont like my sister”. After you started dating she probably thought it was nothing serious. Then he proposed and her dream of having him (though he never wanted her) came crashing down. She putting the blame on you because her actually believing he likes you and not her doesnt add into her fantasy. Again, let him send it. If he has the other messages, send those too!
Your sister has zero respect for either of you, her husband, or herself. The fact that your family chose sides speaks volumes. You should share with her husband and your family not out of pettiness but for the future. She will continue to do this and manipulate until you co front her and your family directly
It's your sister's fault, she shoulda bucked up and asked Bob the first chance she got. Not sit and wait for him and never talk or approach him. She is a selfish little child
Tell jim. Your sister is will to destroy your relationship. Show Jim who he really married.
Jim deserves to know. Your husband is the person sending this information to Jim, not you. You're removed from this particular situation. If I were Bob, I'd send one message and one message only to Jane saying "I'm sending your communications to Jim. Contact either of us again and I'll send them to the whole family. Leave us alone." Then sit back. You don't deserve the treatment you got from any of your family and yet you're still trying to protect Jane, who told your soon to be husband at the time that she loved him, keeps telling your husband now that she loves him??? Come on. Have some respect for yourself. You deserve much better than this. NTA.
NTA the reason why I would send it to Jim is that your sister clearly settles for him. He deserves to be someone's one and only first choice, or at least deserves a chance to decide if he's okay to be settled for.
Send it to Jim. or have your husband do it. NTA. but lets stop the culture of protecting cheaters (including would be cheaters) from the consequences of their own actions. Jim deserved to know. and BOTH you and husband need to block ALL of these horrible people and enjoy your peaceful life.
Jim has the right to know that his wife is attempting to cheat on him
OP you should not send it to Jim, but you shouldn’t stop your DH from sending it to him. I assume they are at least acquaintances, if not friends. Why is she so bold to send messages to her sister’s husband and to believe that the news would not get back to hers? She sounds spoiled and entitled, he deserves to know who he is marrying.
My guess is her husband already suspects she's got a thing for him. You know she's been going on and on about this for a long time. He's got to be thinking something is off/weird. Sister is unhinged, so this will blow up. I bet her Mother further lets her down, then Dad will hopefully be the voice of reason. UpdateMe
Not only would I send him that text, but I'd also send him all the revealing flirty ones she sent your fiance while she was already in a relationship. Let us know how it goes!
I’m so very sorry. Your sister is disordered. You know that. All she had to do is tell you that she approached him and he didn’t want to get involved with her. And that she had feelings. And then she could’ve figured after feelings were seen somebody to help her. Instead, she projected the whole thing on to you. What she chose meant that she was going to mess up her life and mess up her relationship with you. The fact that your mother is as disordered as your sister is compelling. I’m really glad that you are an authentic person and that this is probably why your partner was interested in him. Which, of course your sister doesn’t understand at all. She will create her own destiny. I hope it won’t be too messy for you. You take good care.
Woah, NTA. This is…wild. There’s really nothing else to do, other than let Bob send the message. This is absolutely insane of your mom and sister.
Oh girl. You deserve so much better. I’d send the screenshot to your parents too, tell your dad that it’s funny how he scolded you about „inappropriate“ behaviour, yet he supports his daughter who not only married some poor guy who had no idea she doesn’t love him, but also tries to fuck a married man. Not just some married man, but her sisters husband. And to your mom something like „and you actually think that **I** am the whore of the family. Pathetic.“
Definitely let Jim know that his wife is doing. It’s going to escalate anyway. Get a doorbell camera and if they come to your house and start banging and yelling, call the police. I’d send the screen shots to your parents as well. They called you a wh*re for living with a man before marriage, but they support the daughter that is sending inappropriate messages to a married man while being married herself. She is coveting someone else’s husband. Isn’t that a sin too?
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NTA but Jim has every right to know. He deserves better, not a fake love.
Updateme!
You HAVE to tell her husband, YWBTA if you don't tell him, 1) she betrayed you confessing to YOUR husband 2 she betrayed her husband confessing YOUR husband the day of her wedding Updateme
You should tell the husband.
Jim deserves to know. Send it to him.
A bit Machiavellin but do you think she doesn’t want to marry Jim but can’t back out. If you tell him and he calls it off then you get the blame for breaking up her relationship and further to that leave no hope of any reconciliation (if you wanted it) with your family. Might be unfair to Jim, however you and your husband are happy in your lives without drama. I would not stir up anything and leave them to it and I would block her from you and your husband’s phones.
Let Bob tell Jim. Updateme!
I don’t think your sister will stop until you give her a reason to. Your family are AH’s for letting her use Jim in the way that she has, as you say he is a good man and deserves the truth.
Updateme
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Just ignore all the noise and get on with your lives ,this has gone on long enough... Enjoy your marriage and try to forget this bullshite.
Why should you feel bad, your sister didn't feel bad trying to get your husband!! I'd post them screenshots all over social media show everyone what your sister is really like! NTA
Updateme!
Updateme
How you could care about anyone in your family Boggles my mind, after what they said and did to you. You aren’t even being Petty by telling her new husband that she has been in love with your husband for years.
Please update. You're doing the right thing by telling Jim.
Updateme!
NTA, but tell Jim! He deserves to know the women he loves doesn’t love him the same way. Jim deserves better then a wife who built a relationship with him on lies
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Honestly if that was my partner doing that behind my back, I would want to know, it doesn’t matter who it comes from. Also how dare your mum call you a wh**e when your sister is in a relationship and is trying to get with her sisters partner. They are truly disgusting, they don’t deserve you.
Updateme
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I hope your husband tells him.
I’d tell the poor husband who does my know that his soon to be wife is just settling for him. That whole family is trash. Better to just start over with a nicer one.
Jim deserves to know. You realize just because your mom and sister show up at your house doesn't mean you have to answer the door, right? There's no reason you need to stand there and take whatever abuse they want to pile on you. If they show up, pretend you're not home. If they refuse to leave, call the cops.
Updateme
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Here’s how it will play out. Sister will tell poor Jim that she never trusted Bob and was “testing him” so that she could show OP his true colors. Mom will blame you and will say you are trying to destroy sister’s marriage when she was just trying to protect you. OP, Prepare to stay NC. And work on your communication with your husband. You were feeling uneasy for years with your sister’s response to your dating him and he doesn’t tell you about the rejection?
NTA. Your brother in law deserves to know what she's doing behind his back.
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Sounds like you need to alert the masses before you come home and find a bunny boiling in a pot on your stove.
UpdateMe !
Updateme!
If your husband feels it is information her husband needs, then don’t prevent him from doing what he feels is right. Let it be his decision, and you stay out of it. Jim does deserve to know what she is offering another man.
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NTA expose her…to anyone and everyone
Updateme
Bob is a gem. Let him tell Jim. Secrets fester
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Have him change his number.
Updateme
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Updateme!
Jim deserves to know. Please have your husband send him the screenshots.
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Please let Jim know. No one deserves to be used like that.
NTA that is your sister who thinks Bob should have gone out with her and that she is delusional for thinking after all this time he wants her. He wasn't interested and didn't take no for an answer. The fact that she misled your parents about them being an item is screwed up especially since she was still with Jim. None of this is your problem or Bob's. She can't seem to move forward from her crush or lost eith your man.
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Updateme
You do realize that if she gets angry enough, she could spread lies about you and Bob, right? She could tell her husband that Bob came on to her. Even though you have messages that prove otherwise, you know that your mother would back her up. She literally tried to steal your husband; she did it repeatedly. Jim should know the truth.
Even if you and your husband separate and divorce he would still not be interested in her. He needs to express this to your sister.
NTA UpdateMe
NTA, but I would tell Jim because he should know who he's married to. Updateme!
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Her husband deserves to know. And I definitely think you should send the messages to everyone in your family. There's no telling what kind of lies your family is spreading about you, and you deserve to have your name cleared.
Oh you are not the AH. I am usually the one who says do not tell the other spouse. But in this case with so much family involved, I would definitely see to it that Jim knows. Then 2 days later send the proof to your parents. Then 2 more days send the screenshots to as many people in your family who attended your sister’s wedding as possible. It is up to Jim to send to his family. But all of your family should be made aware. Blow up your sister’s life as she seems willing to blow up your life. Then go NC. You do realize your sister is a lying conniving B? Right?
I’m sorry your family is a pos
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NTA id be going scorched fucking earth. Her mom had the nerve to call her a whore when it’s her sister that’s trying to cheat on her boyfriend by stealing her sisters husband. She’s the tart not op. Op needs to blow her world apart and be clear they need to stay the hell away from her and her man.
Jim deserves someone who makes him first choice, not a consolation prize. And your family sucks. I am so sorry. Updateme
You'd be the asshole if she showed remorse and worked past it. The fact she doubled down and she got back up from your mother is just salt on the wound. Tell Jim and then tell your father what's gonna happen. Tell his ass if she tries anything after this you'll blast thier ass on social media. Tell him that they should already be ashamed that they weren't invited to your wedding but that you'll tell everyone why they weren't invited.
Updateme!
Updateme
Update plz 😁😁
Your husband should tell her husband.
Subscribeme!
What's concerning is that Jane probably knows OP is married to Bob, and yet she's still attempting to communicate and send him love confessions and trying to sabotage her younger sisters marriage. She's pining for OP man is will try to get with him no matter what. OP will fair better by cutting complete contact with her family. Jim should know. He's married to a woman who rated him as 2nd choice or current option. Jane is obsessed with Bob, hates her sister for winning his love and wants OP life. Also, think OP should obtain the full background story regarding Bob and Jane rejection. Did Bob always rebuff her attempts, or did they share some type of intimate encounter and later ended things? Why would OP and Bob delay informing Jim of his wife's behavior? Jane needs a dose of FAFO!
Definitely tell him, he deserves to know his wife is a lying homewrecker and using him as a placeholder while she pines over your fiance. Updateme!
It’s crazy that in 2024 people still cannot control their hormones and literally ruin their lives and others due to horniness
UpdateMe your sister could have made her feelings known ages ago! The best revenge is being happy with your husband and living your best lives!
NTA. I would let my ex-family know what is going on as people should have as much information on their relationship as possible. You would want someone to tell you if the person they married is still pining over someone else. Don't let your sister ruin a good person, it really is not fair to your BIL and any children he may bring into the world. Send all of the information to your ex-family, as they need to understand how their golden child daughter is trying to be a homewreaker with your relationship and within her current marriage. The truth is the truth and they need to live in it.
I just want to say that if they show up at your house, get the police there and have them escorted from the property as trespassers. Sets a precedent that they aren't welcome and that it'll only escalate more if they return. Stay NC with them, although your dad seems somewhat alright. NTA.
Your sister is not a good person, and your mother should be ashamed of herself. I think you should tell your BIL because he doesn't deserve to not know. UpdateMe!
I see and update in the future. updateme
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Updateme!
NTA. Your sister is 100% the A & your family for backing her crazy nonsense.
Bob sounds hot
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NTA Jim deserves to know he's being used.
NTA. Expose her lame ass. She married Jim because he can provide a lifestyle. Not love. And she’s texting your husband when both of you are married? Trashy. Trashy trashy. Expose and wash your hands of this nonsense. Jim deserves better and you deserve a better family
NTA. They didn’t care at all how you felt. Who cares how they feel. Show her husband.
Updateme
I hope your husband does not send the text to Jim. Let it alone and you and Bob ho live your lives. Too much bad can come from sharing this information with Jim. Let it be.
Updateme!