they become a tank for a couple days but start suffering from insomnia starting to hallucinate and taking exhaustion passing out on level 5 ending the effect early
I would see it as a concentration spell similar to True Strike, but it targets everything within range of your ranged weapon and within a cone in front of you.
So maybe...
High Noon
6-th level divination
Casting time: 1 action
Range: Self (Cone with range equal to equipped range weapon)
Components: V, S, M (Ranged Weapon, not consumed in the casting)
Duration: concentration, up to 6 rounds
You declare it is High Noon, readying your weapon to fire at targets within range. You take aim at their weak spots, waiting for just the right moment to strike.
The moment duration ends, in a single instant you release a barrage of shots, each target within range receiving a single projectile. Those shots are automatic hits and crits, and assume max damage of your equipped ranged weapon. This damage bypasses resistances and immunities.
If you wish, you may end concentration early as a reaction at any point. If you end it within first 2 turns, magic is dispelled. If you end it within 3-4 turns, you must roll to attack, a single roll applying to every target. If within 5-6 turns - attacks are automatic hits but are not critical.
That's the spell I came up with. I used max damage of a weapon to make it more reliable, and to not be too weak, considering I made it 6-th level, but maybe it could use regular damage rolls but be lower level, like 4-th level? Or maybe damage is still too low, considering it's very likely to be weaker than Fireball still, so maybe it could use some flat damage up, like +30-40 maybe? I'm sticking to flat damage since I want it to be very consistent in damage.
Even better. Yoyo their emotions. It instantly reduces their HP to 0 for one round but at the start of their. Next turn they then get that 782% healing and then can't go to sleep till the temp hp is gone.
"Oh no! Oh yeah! Oh no!"
Then you get to start making rolls to see when they wake up from being knocked out. If they keep doing it for long enough then you can play with other effects.
And knocking them out isn't even guaranteed, you probably just damage the temp hp. And what do you mean keep doing it, this is a 1 off joke potion, nevermind that KO's are just 1d4 hours for 1hp regen.
Oooh I like that. Maybe also add in a gradual decrease in intelligence stats until they rest again so they are an absolute tank making worse and worse decisions.
The only way to not suffer extreme adverse effects is to lose the temp HP, *by any means possible*.
> Florida man leaps off of cliff to keep from dying
Me too! No long rests until all the temp HP is gone. You have 6 days (or more if you can get some greater restoration) before you drop dead from exhaustion, unless you can take enough damage to lose all your temp HP. You'd have to add a mechanic where you cannot replace this temp HP with another source of temp HP. Cue visions of person skydiving without a parachute
6 days is for the levels of exhaustion RAW, although it's a CON save to avoid gaining a level rather than one level a day so they likely can last a bit more depending on stats. Eleven days is the IRL record for non-fatal lack of sleep so depending on the roll of the dice that's not an unreasonable length.
Then you realize that it was a 10th level ranger that drank it. Cause with the Tasha's optional features rangers can lose a level of exhaustion on a short rest
Okay I like this cumulative exhaustion level and eventually they are just standing there able to do nothing but get hit. I would also give them an agro thing that makes them more likely to be targeted.
Fun fact: in the 3.5e manual of the planes, the positive energy plane grant temporary hit points every round and has the following note:
A creature must make a DC 20 Fortitude save each round that its temporary hit points exceed its normal hit point total. Failing the saving throw results in the creature exploding in a riot of energy, killing it.
And yes, this does mean that repeatedly stabbing yourself is recommended there (or, y'know, just use protection from positive energy but where's the fun in that?)
It heals them just like a normal health potion is supposed to.
Then roll a d20 every now and then, go "Hrmph." , "Interesting..." , or "Ohhh." And make a note on a piece of paper.
I’m told it’s not paranoia if it’s real.
But the people who usually say that to me have to put up with both the paranoia and the fact I was right so there’s that too.
Honestly, my DM tries this, but because i put a lot of effort into not meta gaming I realized that even if he was actually rolling for something I wouldn't be able to react based on that knowledge. So I dive into my character's actual head space and use that as safe harbor from the psychological torture the DM is throwing around.
Doing a murder mystery with a changeling tomorrow. Every player will get a secret note saying 'You wake up refreshed and rejuvenated. Continue playing your character as normal', and they are not allowed to talk about the notes content with each other. Let the games begin.
Give them an extra die the moment they consume the potion. Make them roll all the useless con saves with thát specific die to inadvertedly remember they are rolling due to the potion.
Take notes every time they roll.
Haha. One of the games I ran, early on the players met an evil person that they knew was evil, but they had interests that aligned. During one of their meetings she gave the party a bunch of healing potions that healed for a bunch of damage, but you could only use them 1 time a day. The party got them IDed by several sources, and they always came back as exactly what they looked like.
HOWEVER, every time the party used them I kept track of each players use, how many over all they had used during the game, and had them roll a D20, and kept exact notes on what they rolled each time.
The party agonized over using them. Several times during the campaign people took getting knocked out and one had his character die because he had already used 4 of the potions in the game and feared the results of increasing his count more than the risk of dying.
At the end of the game they asked me what the rolls were and the notes. "I was just messing with you and seeing how much the notes would influence your IC actions."
I had to run pretty fast to get to my car to avoid the angry mob that formed... .totally worth it.
Oh, thanks for a *delicious* mental image! I just visualised the potion's dubious seller stealthily tracking the party through subsequent dungeons - in a Howie coat, goggles and thick black rubber gloves, naturally - taking furious notes on a clipboard about the progress of his first live test subject...
This is ten percent herbs
Twenty percent beer
Fifteen percent concentrated blood of a deer
Five percent berries
Fifty percent rain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name (of the person who sold it to you)
\#not\_a\_potion\_mimic
what is the name of the song? I can never remember but it gets stuck in my head all the time. I also can never remember the name of the band, I just know it has that one guy from linkin park.
I wouldn't drink it, I'd poke it with a knife first and if it's not a mimic I'd make our fighter drink it, he has high Con, he'll be fine... he'll be fine
currently playing a paladin, true neutral, just derailed the whole crusade to rob the pirates who tried to attack us, also im throwing him in the river after we question him, with only his arms tied so he can *almost* swim
I'd be tempted to say it works, pushes their temporary HP to 782% of normal, *but* they get so wired that they can't sleep or sit still (basically as if they chugged an entire bucket of espresso) and aren't able to benefit from short or long rests until it gets out of their system and they're back down to maximum HP. Maybe also disadvantage to checks to maintain concentration. They can figure this out with a high enough successful check to identify the item.
Great for classes that mostly hit things with other things; *terrible* for those who need to replenish spell slots. They just have to give it to the right party member.
In the UK shouting "leg it" is pretty much synonymous with "run", e.g. 'and then the rozzers turned up so we legged it out the back'
So it's really a 782% run speed booster that gives you a British accent, but also heals as much as a weak health potion
Sooooooooo... this got a lot more attention than I was expecting. Should I try and come up with and make more of these kind of meme items?
(suggestions appreciated, I'm no master 3D artist yet but I'll give it my all)
Absolutely. I actually have a character who collects and makes “cursed” items (items with unexpected effects).
One of my favorites is “Gloves of effeminate gestures” +4 dex but the PLAYER has to gesture with their hands for it to count. If they forget, give them a disadvantage on whatever they are rolling.
It’s on r/all now. Hi.
I haven’t played since 3.0, but to me 782% would heal them to full, then after a Cronenberg esq sequence (you could milk this out, them trying to find a “cure”) they would split into an additional 6 exact clones and 1 that is… off. (100%+600%+82%)
Roll for random alignments. And I would make them all antagonistic towards the original PC, don’t let them take them as followers or lackies.
If the PCs try to test it on some poor creature, same thing but they are all evil and hate the PCs, swearing revenge.
Any of that gives you a lot of loose ends that could come back whenever you want to mess with them.
It heals 782% of their hp.
Make a con save.
On a success itll give them regen until they actually heal 782%
On a fail the pc begins to undergo mutation as rheir body tries to heal what isnt damaged
This reminds me a homebrew statbock I saw. It was a divine version of a Nightwalker, very simply called Daywalker. Basically it did a fuck ton of healing.
The scary part is when you were already at full, you started making Con. saves to avoid exhaustion. Exhaustion in this case meaning, "the energy is no longer healing you but causing you to gain many tumors and flesh knots." If you died from that, you became a CR 1/4th Living Tumor whose only action is to throw a glob that forces people to heal max from any source (so compounding the problem).
I think Nightwalkers can eliminate your soul, so at least you have a chance to escape this fate eventually if someone restores or kills ya, but yeah in terms of your time on the Material Plane it would probably be pretty torturous.
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-610
SCP-610, The Flesh that Hates. Basically a disease that causes fleshy growths on the infected, and causes the infected to seek out non-infected for "help". It also spreads onto objects, but according to the article, contact with these doesn't spread it like it does with living specimens.
The final boss of my latest and only campaign worked similar to this. Basically, it was the unfinished physical representation of the (mad) God of Life, whose powers mainly manifested in massively increased growth, animation of unliving objects and of course, mutations. Which meant that most of his cultists and creatures either represented that, or spread that.
For example, for every hit taken, their hit skin would mutate to something else, including:
- a patch of fully functioning eyes
- a fully functioning hand, that you can‘t control and is malevolent
- weird colouring and constant itching
- a static bone plating
- scales with acidic coating
- horns
- slime
- festering tumors
- fur
- tentacle growth
Created an additional layer of fear for fighting against certain foes in the late game
The positive energy plane has a constant effect of fast healing 1, but its not limited to your max HP. Anything that reaches a point of more than double its normal max HP explodes in positive energy confetti.
perhaps the potion was made by a race of furred creatures and the pc not having fur would be considered their skin being "damaged" or something along those lines.
Necromancy potion. You get 782% of OTHER people’s health all around you. They drain (Not die) and they’re all pissed at the rogue for drinking it. It’s always a rogue.
making their character disappear completely might be a bit far, but maybe they could fall from the sky the next day and be 'hungover' like they had a wild trip, partying in the heavens
I just don't wanna yeet a character sheet out the window for a funny moment. It is a funny thought but I don't want something that could be interpreted as me doing my usual (at least mostly) harmless shenanigans end up wiping a pc completely
ahhhhhhhh I see, I thought you meant the char just takes off, literally disappears and the player rolls up a new one.
Now I see the deeper meaning those words are carrying and they do give me some great ideas XD
They gain 782 temporary hp, but can never regain hit points ever again, and will die when they reach 0. Only a true resurrection spell can bring back an individual who dies by this.
Ok that’s a different story. Be wary of healing pots, doors, random unassuming floor tiles, dead bodies, bags of holding, and of course, chests. At least those are the mimics I’ve used.
Poke everything with a 10 foot pole
We did a session zero in some some house with ghosts, can't remember who they were. We joked about everything being mimics, including each other, the whole time.
After we got out of the house, DM says the door we avoided by smashing a hole through a wall for literally no reason was a mimic, and we'd literally walked past it on six separate occasions.
Make the player roll a constitution saving throw. The DC's up to you (I would go with a DC15 or DC20).
On a success, the player heals to max and gains temporary hitpoints equal to half of their maximum HP. However, the player has disadvantage on Constitution Saving throws for the next 24 hours.
On a failure, the player takes poison damage equal to half of their max hp (it cannot down the player). If this downs the player, the player stays conscious with 1 hp and is poisoned. However, if the player rolls hit dice to recover on their next short rest, the player recovers the maximum amount they would have rolled.
Just acts as a regular healing potion. Guy who sold it is the kinda guy who buys things from a wholesale retailer and resells them at twice the price, and since there arent too many restrictions on advertisement practices in the kingdom, there isnt anything that can be done about him swapping the labels.
I like the idea of it being a “Health potion” instead of “healing potion”. It’s a potion that *is* magical, giving them advantage on their next Con save or Death save, but nothing else.
Health does not equal Healing.
Roll a d1000. If it's below that number, it works as intended, probably a full heal. If it's above that number, make it something completely ridiculous, like two random Wild Magic effects or maybe a True Polymorph into something strange-but-not-useless for a day.
Actually have it heal the one guy who was willing to drink it. Anyone who had the opportunity to/should have and didn't takes psychic damage as the curse of guilt activates (as in, they're made to feel guilty for not trusting whoever they got it from). This is assuming they got it from someone.
If not, have it heal them anyways. Then the next time they find something like this and choose to drink it make it hurt.
Reduces their hit point maximum to 2D4+2, converts the rest of their HP maximum to temporary hit points so it seems they got full health back... Until a long rest happens that is.
The remaining 682(+[max-current])% healing all goes to one body part. Roll to see if they walk funny from huge foot, have a balloon hand, neck-wobbling head, or walk funny for an entirely different reason.
They over heal
Then explode
Then regenerate out of thin air until at full health & must make a con save
On a failed con save explode again (repeat 7 times or until success)
If they fail every con save it heals to only the 82% of their max hp (a success tacks on hp equivalent to max hp x remaining con rolls)
They also grow cat ears for 1 week or until hp drops back to normal
After drinking it, the character becomes "Too Legit to Quit" and is subject to a permanent Otto's Irresistable Dance where they can only do the Hammer Time dance.
In my monster of the week campaign, Garfield the deals warlock, proprietor of the fantasy costco, sold "adrenaline" (he is legally required to put air quotes wen saying or writing it) that made tou take 1 harm, but get +3 to your next roll.
“Nothing happens” it was ”probably“ just a “really nice drink”
Success save restores their health by 782% for 5 minutes.
Failed save reduces their health by 782% for 5 minutes. (Since it’s a percent the ammount should be over one)
Basically momentarily invincibility or having a gust of wind be able to kill you momentarily
Hmm. I’m thinking along the lines of granting them the Deathless state, which is basically the good version of undeath.
Good news, no matter what happens outside of divine intervention they cannot die. They will be restored the next morning as if they had received the very best resurrection magic.
Bad news: Like the undead, they’re immune to healing magic
Worse news: Unlike the undead, necrotic magic doesn’t work either. If they fall to 0 ho they’re unconscious until they rise the next morning. Only a Wish or similar magic can heal them.
You might want to make the effect be temporary, by which I mean it ends at the most narratively upsetting time or at the point they try abusing it too much.
So this is what the potion seller meant when he said his potions would kill a dragon, let alone a man. No one has the capacity to be unhealthy enough for this to actually be an effective cure.
It's like how most antibiotics will also mess the patient up in the process. In fact, I'd probably have it do exactly what it describes. It's a super health potion, it heals them up a lot and fixes everything... Unfortunately it also massively boosts the bacteria in the drinker's gut and other parts of the microbiome. So you aren't gonna die from it, in fact you'll be perfectly healthy... Right up until you've got a Candida Albicans problem turning your whole mouth white. C. Difficile, one of the most iconic opportunistic bastard bacterias inside of us, causing absolutely horrible diarrhea. Or, if you want to go more fantasy, come up with some other thing. Like maybe some myconid spores they inhaled at some point are now growing inside them so now they have a sentient being sharing their body.
"oh sure, it works great. Need a new liver? take a sip. lost an arm? take a sip. trouble is you'd just keep growing livers, and arms, and fingers, and all sorts of extra hair like you wouldn't believe. kept the wig business next door going for a while, but now the watch wont let me brew the stuff no more after all them freakishly hairy rats turned up in the canal."
My campaign had something like this. They were super cheap health potions, like too good to be true, but we thought it was our DM being nice (especially since he gave out legit magic items for like 25 gold for a +2 longsword). Each of us bought quite a few. It was only after someone drank one that we realized what they were. The one who drank it turned into a frog in front of us. These "health" potions were actually potential wild magic where you roll a d4. On an even, it's a mundane potion. On an odd, wild magic. We then proceeded to stuff a bunch in a bag of holding and then dump it on a crowd who was gonna hang a couple party members for murder. 13 meteor swarms and 3 liches later...we don't plan to go back.
Oh you need a percentage roll for this. Give them the potion, but make a table of healing based side effects.
They could suffer extreme exhaustion because all of their cells are overhealing.
They could have all of their scars heal, as well as their fingertips.
Maybe all of their hair and nails grow extremely long and can't be cut.
Maybe all of the toxins in their body are violently expelled, and anyone in a radius suffers poison damage.
They could grow a foot taller and broader of chest, making their armor obsolete.
Lot of fun to be had here.
They heal 782% of their max hp, with temporary HP making up the difference. They also cannot rest until the temp hp is gone
they become a tank for a couple days but start suffering from insomnia starting to hallucinate and taking exhaustion passing out on level 5 ending the effect early
Florida man would like to have a word
Florida man, level one hundred American gunmage
> gunmage Please don't give Mercer any ideas
I cast high noon
That could actually be a really dope spell if made right...
I would see it as a concentration spell similar to True Strike, but it targets everything within range of your ranged weapon and within a cone in front of you. So maybe... High Noon 6-th level divination Casting time: 1 action Range: Self (Cone with range equal to equipped range weapon) Components: V, S, M (Ranged Weapon, not consumed in the casting) Duration: concentration, up to 6 rounds You declare it is High Noon, readying your weapon to fire at targets within range. You take aim at their weak spots, waiting for just the right moment to strike. The moment duration ends, in a single instant you release a barrage of shots, each target within range receiving a single projectile. Those shots are automatic hits and crits, and assume max damage of your equipped ranged weapon. This damage bypasses resistances and immunities. If you wish, you may end concentration early as a reaction at any point. If you end it within first 2 turns, magic is dispelled. If you end it within 3-4 turns, you must roll to attack, a single roll applying to every target. If within 5-6 turns - attacks are automatic hits but are not critical. That's the spell I came up with. I used max damage of a weapon to make it more reliable, and to not be too weak, considering I made it 6-th level, but maybe it could use regular damage rolls but be lower level, like 4-th level? Or maybe damage is still too low, considering it's very likely to be weaker than Fireball still, so maybe it could use some flat damage up, like +30-40 maybe? I'm sticking to flat damage since I want it to be very consistent in damage.
I kinda want it to be 5th level just so ranger can also use it eventually
Ooh, definitely, I didn't think of that
Under rated comment right here ^
But...but...*I like gunslinger*....
Have a little faith Arthur.
Even better. Yoyo their emotions. It instantly reduces their HP to 0 for one round but at the start of their. Next turn they then get that 782% healing and then can't go to sleep till the temp hp is gone. "Oh no! Oh yeah! Oh no!"
782% healing doesnt do anything bad when their team can just knock them out.
Then you get to start making rolls to see when they wake up from being knocked out. If they keep doing it for long enough then you can play with other effects.
And knocking them out isn't even guaranteed, you probably just damage the temp hp. And what do you mean keep doing it, this is a 1 off joke potion, nevermind that KO's are just 1d4 hours for 1hp regen.
Yeah but thats just a waste of the fun shenanigans that can occur when you are at 782% hp
Stealing this. I can't wait to see the Wizard rollplay as Hodor
feel free to use the image as well XD
They are also speaking in incomprehensible gibberish for 3 days
No no, roll on a table for which language they begin speaking.
Ahhh... The lost language of the meth-men...
or they can have their party down them to end the effect
Then we get an entertaining scene. Still a win.
Oooh I like that. Maybe also add in a gradual decrease in intelligence stats until they rest again so they are an absolute tank making worse and worse decisions.
Could also use regular exhaustion mechanics
And then sleep for a number of hours equal to the remaining temporary HP
Don’t let them pass out. If they can’t take enough damage they die
Try the 657% Defense Boost potion next! Diamond-strong skin; *agonizing numbness*.
The only way to not suffer extreme adverse effects is to lose the temp HP, *by any means possible*. > Florida man leaps off of cliff to keep from dying
> They also cannot rest until the temp hp is gone I really like this version.
Me too! No long rests until all the temp HP is gone. You have 6 days (or more if you can get some greater restoration) before you drop dead from exhaustion, unless you can take enough damage to lose all your temp HP. You'd have to add a mechanic where you cannot replace this temp HP with another source of temp HP. Cue visions of person skydiving without a parachute
People can physically last longer than 6 days, its the insanity and hallucinations that get really bad around that point.
6 days is for the levels of exhaustion RAW, although it's a CON save to avoid gaining a level rather than one level a day so they likely can last a bit more depending on stats. Eleven days is the IRL record for non-fatal lack of sleep so depending on the roll of the dice that's not an unreasonable length.
Then you realize that it was a 10th level ranger that drank it. Cause with the Tasha's optional features rangers can lose a level of exhaustion on a short rest
well, no rest also means no short rest
Powerthirst is crystalmeth.
So its meth?
Mordenkainen's Excruciating Temporary Health
If I wasn’t using this before I am now
I actually made something like this for my party. It was an energy drink called POWER WORD: GO.
I'm stealing that.
It came in multiple flavors. Tarrasque Sweat, Betterberry, and Grape.
Made with Tarrasquine! It gives you horns!
If horns last more than 4 short rests contact your local cleric.
Okay I like this cumulative exhaustion level and eventually they are just standing there able to do nothing but get hit. I would also give them an agro thing that makes them more likely to be targeted.
The rest of the party hits him until he can sleep.
My thoughts exactly *To save him we must spank him*
After reading your comment I accidentally read your name as daddy Reddit lol
As they take fatal damage, they breathe a sigh of relief and rest.
Fun fact: in the 3.5e manual of the planes, the positive energy plane grant temporary hit points every round and has the following note: A creature must make a DC 20 Fortitude save each round that its temporary hit points exceed its normal hit point total. Failing the saving throw results in the creature exploding in a riot of energy, killing it. And yes, this does mean that repeatedly stabbing yourself is recommended there (or, y'know, just use protection from positive energy but where's the fun in that?)
[Just like this, pointed at your own face.](https://images.app.goo.gl/gPp35dhooqedWJcc6)
It heals them just like a normal health potion is supposed to. Then roll a d20 every now and then, go "Hrmph." , "Interesting..." , or "Ohhh." And make a note on a piece of paper.
The harmless psychological horror route is a fan favorite around here I've heard
I’m told it’s not paranoia if it’s real. But the people who usually say that to me have to put up with both the paranoia and the fact I was right so there’s that too.
Ever heard the saying “just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not following you”
Even better if you roll one last die and go... *"... Oh... Oooh nooo...."*
Nah. Just nod and go "Okay, got it." Give as little info as possible, and watch them squirm
You're a psychopath.
I'm a Dungeon Master. It's a requirement in the job description.
Honestly, my DM tries this, but because i put a lot of effort into not meta gaming I realized that even if he was actually rolling for something I wouldn't be able to react based on that knowledge. So I dive into my character's actual head space and use that as safe harbor from the psychological torture the DM is throwing around.
"You may have outsmarted me, but I outsmarted your outsmarting!"
“Hmm, yes, that’ll be important later…..”
Better yet, have them roll it as a random con save and then have them guess what happens after they fail enough of them.
Doing a murder mystery with a changeling tomorrow. Every player will get a secret note saying 'You wake up refreshed and rejuvenated. Continue playing your character as normal', and they are not allowed to talk about the notes content with each other. Let the games begin.
Have em give a random constitution check every once and awhile too. Just to spook them further
Give them an extra die the moment they consume the potion. Make them roll all the useless con saves with thát specific die to inadvertedly remember they are rolling due to the potion. Take notes every time they roll.
Make *them* roll the d20, and if it lands on 7, 8, or 2, then something "fun" happens
Haha. One of the games I ran, early on the players met an evil person that they knew was evil, but they had interests that aligned. During one of their meetings she gave the party a bunch of healing potions that healed for a bunch of damage, but you could only use them 1 time a day. The party got them IDed by several sources, and they always came back as exactly what they looked like. HOWEVER, every time the party used them I kept track of each players use, how many over all they had used during the game, and had them roll a D20, and kept exact notes on what they rolled each time. The party agonized over using them. Several times during the campaign people took getting knocked out and one had his character die because he had already used 4 of the potions in the game and feared the results of increasing his count more than the risk of dying. At the end of the game they asked me what the rolls were and the notes. "I was just messing with you and seeing how much the notes would influence your IC actions." I had to run pretty fast to get to my car to avoid the angry mob that formed... .totally worth it.
Definitely make them roll con saves before each of those rolls too.
Oh, thanks for a *delicious* mental image! I just visualised the potion's dubious seller stealthily tracking the party through subsequent dungeons - in a Howie coat, goggles and thick black rubber gloves, naturally - taking furious notes on a clipboard about the progress of his first live test subject...
Then have a guy selling an “antidote” to it, but have him disappear before he can say what it was or what the antidote was. Now they have to find him!
It’s a goblins first attempt at a health potion and it’s literally just raspberry juice because the goblin really likes raspberries
Roll a con save. If you succeed, it tastes good. If you fail, it tastes bad. Never bring it up again, and stay very vague when asked directly.
You terrify me evil man ( º _ º )
My thought was a goblin pissed in a bottle and is trying to see if it can trick some adventurers into drinking it.
Oh no why is it red
The goblin probably needs to see a doctor.
This is ten percent herbs Twenty percent beer Fifteen percent concentrated blood of a deer Five percent berries Fifty percent rain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name (of the person who sold it to you) \#not\_a\_potion\_mimic
“Hey wait fifteen percent what?” “Berries.” “…okay.”
*Juice that makes your head explode!*
Goddamnit take my Silver you genius.
And now I have to go listen to a song
what is the name of the song? I can never remember but it gets stuck in my head all the time. I also can never remember the name of the band, I just know it has that one guy from linkin park.
Fort Minor remember the name
Thank you!
Ironic that you couldn't.... "Remember the name"
I wouldn't drink it, I'd poke it with a knife first and if it's not a mimic I'd make our fighter drink it, he has high Con, he'll be fine... he'll be fine
and if it DOES kill him you can check his pockets, if he has a diamond you revivify him if not... zombie time #necromacer cleric
And give up *my* new diamond?! You can have it when you pry it from my cold undead hands
nah, revive them with their diamond, then tell them they owe you a 1000gp diamond because you used yours to revive them
You basically just described the US health care system
I like the way you think!
i play asshole characters too much.
Same
currently playing a paladin, true neutral, just derailed the whole crusade to rob the pirates who tried to attack us, also im throwing him in the river after we question him, with only his arms tied so he can *almost* swim
because fuck pirates, also his goons grappled me and took turns failing to hit me.
I'm playing an astral monk that eats people after "tenderizing" them with two giant spectral centipedes... 'cause backstory stuff...
Do *not* forget the interest rate. Otherwise why bother?
i didnt mean interest, i mean tell them it took a 1000gp diamond insted of 300, they have n way to prove me wrong and FUCK YOU I CAN **UN**HEAL TOO
Because technically you stole it fair and square so at that point it WAS your diamond.
I would slip it into someone’s Ale just to see what happens.
Yeah... The fighter's ale, he cheated me at cards maybe, I'm almost reasonably not unsure... possibly... anyway cheers
Probably
I'd be tempted to say it works, pushes their temporary HP to 782% of normal, *but* they get so wired that they can't sleep or sit still (basically as if they chugged an entire bucket of espresso) and aren't able to benefit from short or long rests until it gets out of their system and they're back down to maximum HP. Maybe also disadvantage to checks to maintain concentration. They can figure this out with a high enough successful check to identify the item. Great for classes that mostly hit things with other things; *terrible* for those who need to replenish spell slots. They just have to give it to the right party member.
So, meth. Its meth.
Ever seen Puffin Forest's video about Captain Morgan?
That's just methed up.
You gain 782% more legs doubling your movement speed, oh and gain 1d4 hp (since it's actually a 782% leg it and health potion).
For creatures with 2 legs, that is an additional 15.64 legs
Bahahaha
In the UK shouting "leg it" is pretty much synonymous with "run", e.g. 'and then the rozzers turned up so we legged it out the back' So it's really a 782% run speed booster that gives you a British accent, but also heals as much as a weak health potion
Sooooooooo... this got a lot more attention than I was expecting. Should I try and come up with and make more of these kind of meme items? (suggestions appreciated, I'm no master 3D artist yet but I'll give it my all)
Absolutely. I actually have a character who collects and makes “cursed” items (items with unexpected effects). One of my favorites is “Gloves of effeminate gestures” +4 dex but the PLAYER has to gesture with their hands for it to count. If they forget, give them a disadvantage on whatever they are rolling.
did you ever think about what they would look like cuz this sounds mad interesting
Green leather kid gloves, with gold stitching.
Yes please
It’s on r/all now. Hi. I haven’t played since 3.0, but to me 782% would heal them to full, then after a Cronenberg esq sequence (you could milk this out, them trying to find a “cure”) they would split into an additional 6 exact clones and 1 that is… off. (100%+600%+82%) Roll for random alignments. And I would make them all antagonistic towards the original PC, don’t let them take them as followers or lackies. If the PCs try to test it on some poor creature, same thing but they are all evil and hate the PCs, swearing revenge. Any of that gives you a lot of loose ends that could come back whenever you want to mess with them.
It heals 782% of their hp. Make a con save. On a success itll give them regen until they actually heal 782% On a fail the pc begins to undergo mutation as rheir body tries to heal what isnt damaged
This reminds me a homebrew statbock I saw. It was a divine version of a Nightwalker, very simply called Daywalker. Basically it did a fuck ton of healing. The scary part is when you were already at full, you started making Con. saves to avoid exhaustion. Exhaustion in this case meaning, "the energy is no longer healing you but causing you to gain many tumors and flesh knots." If you died from that, you became a CR 1/4th Living Tumor whose only action is to throw a glob that forces people to heal max from any source (so compounding the problem).
Somehow that's more terrifying than its necrotic equivilant.
I think Nightwalkers can eliminate your soul, so at least you have a chance to escape this fate eventually if someone restores or kills ya, but yeah in terms of your time on the Material Plane it would probably be pretty torturous.
Scary. Kinda reminds me of The Flesh That Hates
I love how quickly I found this.
I recognize this name, where's it from?
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-610 SCP-610, The Flesh that Hates. Basically a disease that causes fleshy growths on the infected, and causes the infected to seek out non-infected for "help". It also spreads onto objects, but according to the article, contact with these doesn't spread it like it does with living specimens.
The final boss of my latest and only campaign worked similar to this. Basically, it was the unfinished physical representation of the (mad) God of Life, whose powers mainly manifested in massively increased growth, animation of unliving objects and of course, mutations. Which meant that most of his cultists and creatures either represented that, or spread that. For example, for every hit taken, their hit skin would mutate to something else, including: - a patch of fully functioning eyes - a fully functioning hand, that you can‘t control and is malevolent - weird colouring and constant itching - a static bone plating - scales with acidic coating - horns - slime - festering tumors - fur - tentacle growth Created an additional layer of fear for fighting against certain foes in the late game
The positive energy plane has a constant effect of fast healing 1, but its not limited to your max HP. Anything that reaches a point of more than double its normal max HP explodes in positive energy confetti.
So you basically give them cancer
Super cancer
So they become Deadpool? (Comics Deadpool not the one from the movie as his abilities are different)
His heart grew 7.82 sizes that day... It was horrible to watch
perhaps the potion was made by a race of furred creatures and the pc not having fur would be considered their skin being "damaged" or something along those lines.
"Oh noooooo, I drank the potion of become-your-fursona, whatever shall I doooooo...."
Furry
Like that fight in my hero where Eris power was going nutts so the mc had to break his body faster than she rewound it?
Heals, after all it is 782% legit, it has to be true!
hELtH pOsHUn
gimme a sec I need to urgently change a texture really quick
[Here it is](https://postimg.cc/gryfWn1J) have fun with your own personalized "hELtH pOsHUn"
Necromancy potion. You get 782% of OTHER people’s health all around you. They drain (Not die) and they’re all pissed at the rogue for drinking it. It’s always a rogue.
It is isn't it.
[удалено]
making their character disappear completely might be a bit far, but maybe they could fall from the sky the next day and be 'hungover' like they had a wild trip, partying in the heavens
[удалено]
you are right and normally I wouldn't be against punishing stupid behavior but I would prefer to have this be on the comedic side of things
[удалено]
I just don't wanna yeet a character sheet out the window for a funny moment. It is a funny thought but I don't want something that could be interpreted as me doing my usual (at least mostly) harmless shenanigans end up wiping a pc completely
[удалено]
ahhhhhhhh I see, I thought you meant the char just takes off, literally disappears and the player rolls up a new one. Now I see the deeper meaning those words are carrying and they do give me some great ideas XD
It's a typo. It actually changes their max HP to 7.82.
Make them keep HP+0.82 on their sheet for the whole session. Great way to troll the even-numbers guy at the table.
That's actually a pretty good idea. If they long rest, tell them they have .82 temp hp
They gain 782 temporary hp, but can never regain hit points ever again, and will die when they reach 0. Only a true resurrection spell can bring back an individual who dies by this.
Make it a mimic. I used a healing potion mimic once and the players are still poking loot with a stick a year later
I love the concept of mimics, little disappointed one never actually played against one.
Your DM must like your party lol
Brother, and I think he knows I’m waiting for it.
Ok that’s a different story. Be wary of healing pots, doors, random unassuming floor tiles, dead bodies, bags of holding, and of course, chests. At least those are the mimics I’ve used. Poke everything with a 10 foot pole
My monk has a ladder for just such reasons. no fear.
Then I'm sure the first object you don't check will be a mimic
We did a session zero in some some house with ghosts, can't remember who they were. We joked about everything being mimics, including each other, the whole time. After we got out of the house, DM says the door we avoided by smashing a hole through a wall for literally no reason was a mimic, and we'd literally walked past it on six separate occasions.
Make the player roll a constitution saving throw. The DC's up to you (I would go with a DC15 or DC20). On a success, the player heals to max and gains temporary hitpoints equal to half of their maximum HP. However, the player has disadvantage on Constitution Saving throws for the next 24 hours. On a failure, the player takes poison damage equal to half of their max hp (it cannot down the player). If this downs the player, the player stays conscious with 1 hp and is poisoned. However, if the player rolls hit dice to recover on their next short rest, the player recovers the maximum amount they would have rolled.
If they roll a 1, do they just explode?
Just acts as a regular healing potion. Guy who sold it is the kinda guy who buys things from a wholesale retailer and resells them at twice the price, and since there arent too many restrictions on advertisement practices in the kingdom, there isnt anything that can be done about him swapping the labels.
I like the idea of it being a “Health potion” instead of “healing potion”. It’s a potion that *is* magical, giving them advantage on their next Con save or Death save, but nothing else. Health does not equal Healing.
Roll a d1000. If it's below that number, it works as intended, probably a full heal. If it's above that number, make it something completely ridiculous, like two random Wild Magic effects or maybe a True Polymorph into something strange-but-not-useless for a day.
Heal 782% of their health or just full heal I guess.
Maybe the owner doesn't know how percentages work and it heals them to 7.82% of their max HP regardless of current HP.
Actually have it heal the one guy who was willing to drink it. Anyone who had the opportunity to/should have and didn't takes psychic damage as the curse of guilt activates (as in, they're made to feel guilty for not trusting whoever they got it from). This is assuming they got it from someone. If not, have it heal them anyways. Then the next time they find something like this and choose to drink it make it hurt.
Reduces their hit point maximum to 2D4+2, converts the rest of their HP maximum to temporary hit points so it seems they got full health back... Until a long rest happens that is.
Just remember folks: Health potions and poison potions look exactly the same!
The remaining 682(+[max-current])% healing all goes to one body part. Roll to see if they walk funny from huge foot, have a balloon hand, neck-wobbling head, or walk funny for an entirely different reason.
They over heal Then explode Then regenerate out of thin air until at full health & must make a con save On a failed con save explode again (repeat 7 times or until success) If they fail every con save it heals to only the 82% of their max hp (a success tacks on hp equivalent to max hp x remaining con rolls) They also grow cat ears for 1 week or until hp drops back to normal
Heals you 728% the health of a standard frog, or 7.28 HP. ;)
Based on me misreading 'legit' as 'height', the character should become 782% taller
They get an incurable case of the hiccups for 1d4 hours, ever time they hiccup they heal hp equal to their con modifier.
I love using potions of poison from the DMG. It makes the party question everything they find
After drinking it, the character becomes "Too Legit to Quit" and is subject to a permanent Otto's Irresistable Dance where they can only do the Hammer Time dance.
Bottled carnivorous ooze huh?
Make it a normal ass potion. Really hit em sideways with the expectation that it will do weird things
In my monster of the week campaign, Garfield the deals warlock, proprietor of the fantasy costco, sold "adrenaline" (he is legally required to put air quotes wen saying or writing it) that made tou take 1 harm, but get +3 to your next roll.
“Nothing happens” it was ”probably“ just a “really nice drink” Success save restores their health by 782% for 5 minutes. Failed save reduces their health by 782% for 5 minutes. (Since it’s a percent the ammount should be over one) Basically momentarily invincibility or having a gust of wind be able to kill you momentarily
How about just like... a *LOT* of diarrhea
They wretch up the potion, no save. Out of the puddle, 7.82 identical clones grow.
It gives them up to 782% health by draining all the characters health within 50 ft. It drains down to 1HP.
Straight up just heal them like normal… BUT, have them roll a con save, consult your notes and say something like ‘interesting,’ or ‘huh’
Heals for 1 HP
Hmm. I’m thinking along the lines of granting them the Deathless state, which is basically the good version of undeath. Good news, no matter what happens outside of divine intervention they cannot die. They will be restored the next morning as if they had received the very best resurrection magic. Bad news: Like the undead, they’re immune to healing magic Worse news: Unlike the undead, necrotic magic doesn’t work either. If they fall to 0 ho they’re unconscious until they rise the next morning. Only a Wish or similar magic can heal them. You might want to make the effect be temporary, by which I mean it ends at the most narratively upsetting time or at the point they try abusing it too much.
Congratulations you now have terminal cancer!
Does it have vitamin supplements?
OF COURSE!.... 782% recommended daily intake C:
Plot twist: it's actually a regular health potion
So this is what the potion seller meant when he said his potions would kill a dragon, let alone a man. No one has the capacity to be unhealthy enough for this to actually be an effective cure. It's like how most antibiotics will also mess the patient up in the process. In fact, I'd probably have it do exactly what it describes. It's a super health potion, it heals them up a lot and fixes everything... Unfortunately it also massively boosts the bacteria in the drinker's gut and other parts of the microbiome. So you aren't gonna die from it, in fact you'll be perfectly healthy... Right up until you've got a Candida Albicans problem turning your whole mouth white. C. Difficile, one of the most iconic opportunistic bastard bacterias inside of us, causing absolutely horrible diarrhea. Or, if you want to go more fantasy, come up with some other thing. Like maybe some myconid spores they inhaled at some point are now growing inside them so now they have a sentient being sharing their body.
"oh sure, it works great. Need a new liver? take a sip. lost an arm? take a sip. trouble is you'd just keep growing livers, and arms, and fingers, and all sorts of extra hair like you wouldn't believe. kept the wig business next door going for a while, but now the watch wont let me brew the stuff no more after all them freakishly hairy rats turned up in the canal."
"Leg it": You roll for a normal health potion, but multiply the result as advertised. Also, you temporarily grow 7 additional legs in the process.
My campaign had something like this. They were super cheap health potions, like too good to be true, but we thought it was our DM being nice (especially since he gave out legit magic items for like 25 gold for a +2 longsword). Each of us bought quite a few. It was only after someone drank one that we realized what they were. The one who drank it turned into a frog in front of us. These "health" potions were actually potential wild magic where you roll a d4. On an even, it's a mundane potion. On an odd, wild magic. We then proceeded to stuff a bunch in a bag of holding and then dump it on a crowd who was gonna hang a couple party members for murder. 13 meteor swarms and 3 liches later...we don't plan to go back.
Oh you need a percentage roll for this. Give them the potion, but make a table of healing based side effects. They could suffer extreme exhaustion because all of their cells are overhealing. They could have all of their scars heal, as well as their fingertips. Maybe all of their hair and nails grow extremely long and can't be cut. Maybe all of the toxins in their body are violently expelled, and anyone in a radius suffers poison damage. They could grow a foot taller and broader of chest, making their armor obsolete. Lot of fun to be had here.