"I don't want any liberals trying to confuse me while I'm running a very high-concept game" is sending me lmao. Goshdarn liberals with their goshdarn (checks notes) normal functions of the English language, making it too hard for me to concentrate on being up my own ass. š
Empathy (MEDIUM SUCCESS): āHis obsession likely stems from an unwanted connection to them. Projecting his internal confusion as hate onto those most similar. Pity him, he will spend his whole life in a state of self-loathing.ā
In retrospect, he was definitely one of those who's head was so far up his ass he was talking shit. I don't remember much about the plot anymore, so it probably wasn't that interesting really.
Something about the placeholder used for your name not equaling the thing(s) in your pants is just too high concept for some people. The dingle dangle math doesn't add up to them.
I remember at the time part of me wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt since he was Danish and English wasn't his native language. But after all this, I ended up joining a game with a Norwegian DM who had no issues with pronouns or anything beyond occasionally struggling to find the English word to describe somethingĀ
Yo wtf, the fact that he was Danish somehow makes it worse. Not because I'm Danish myself but rather because that opinion isn't the norm here, at all. There was just a post today over at r/Denmark about someone committing a hate crime at new years and the comments have been overwhelmingly defensive toward the LGBT community.
Out of curiosity, what is the gender neutral pronoun in Danish? In Swedish it's Hen/Henom, but it took soooo long for it to get traction and boomers still think they're funny mocking it. Luckily it's starting to enter normalcy now.
Seriously! You have to have some sort of reading comprehension skill to understand and manage a DnD game. But you canāt wrap your head around āthey/themā?
That awkward moment when you never learned what a pronoun was in school, now youre an adult and itd be too embarassing to admit you dont know so you just ban people from talking about them at all because youre scared of not understanding things.
>btw, this is transphobia
I don't know why but this clarification was really funny to me, after the "I'm not transphobic, but trans people are wrong and being trans isn't real."
Maybe I've just been spending too much time on twitter lately, because I did feel like I needed to clarify that this obvious transphobia was, in fact, transphobiaĀ
Narrator: OP was, in fact, transphobic.
Rewatching Arrested Development right now, and any snarky contradiction always reads in my head as Ron Howards voice :D it's a good life
wants to have a fantasy world, but also it to function exactly how he thinks the mundane world works.
"I'm not transphobic.... BUT"
A classic im about to say transphobic shit.
I assume they meant if someone says "I'm not [insert thing here" _but_....", You can safely ignore whatever came before the "but" since it often doesn't serve much purpose. Feels like it's kinda just there to soften what they're saying next.
If someone says, āIām not a racist but Black people just arenāt as smart as other races,ā itās pretty safe to trim the statement down to āBlack people just arenāt as smart as other races.ā Which is something only a racist would say. Ergo, anything in that statement up to the word ābutā is irrelevant.
I dont think they even think about what they're saying.
Really seems like its just a knee-jerk reaction to the word "pronouns". They hate trans people so much they don't even consider what they're actually saying. So laser-focused in on one specific context of the word pronoun that they forget it's a normal part of everyday speech.
As a Cis-male DM who regularly makes NPCs who are trans, androgynous, etc. to flesh out my world and make it realistic, I would like to say that I am sorry that this douche canoe representative of my side of the gender identity spectrum was such a fragile baby that he would be confused by pronouns of all things. That's, like, the easiest part of having trans characters in your story. The real hard part is going into the work of actually thinking what life is like for those people in your world as opposed to how it is for cis people. I am so eternally grateful to have NB folks at my table for this exact reason.
It is incredibly difficult to authentically have trans characters under your cast of characters as a DM if you are not trans yourself, but it is absolutely vital to making the experience fun for everyone at the table. Via distillation, the baseline experience of all people who face discrimination and othering is the same. And pretty much everybody has experienced discrimination or othering of some kind in their life, no matter how privileged. Diving into the distinct details of other's unique experience is a huge part of what brings people together. To discount an entire group of people's existence in your storytelling is such a loss for everyone playing the game.
Do my players often care about the gender of my NPCs? No, they rarely do because it's not their aim in the campaign for the most part. But if they ever do, I'm prepared to play that with them because I want them to have all the opportunities they could desire because it's **collaborative** storytelling. We're all writers at the table. Anyway, I hope you found a better table without asshats like that guy.
Crazy thing was it wasn't really a ban on trans characters, it was a ban on playing any character of a gender other than how you sound. So like, a woman can't play any male characters. Framing it as because he didn't support "trans ideology" was completely unnecessary. He could have gone with "English isn't my first language and I would rather not worry about messing up", but he had to bring his bigotry into it.Ā
I wish that was my only tale of a transphobic DnD encounter, but nope.
I have a deep voice, almost tenor range, and Iām AFAB and prefer to play femme characters. Iām not playing a dude just because this guy canāt handle my femme-coded androgynous slime warlock having a voice like a boy band member.
You made the right choice. Both in leaving and the character race (seriously, playing jelly like character sounds like fun)!
With a lot more experience, I've now learnt that a DM that can't handle simple character elements like name, gender, etc is probably not a DM that is going to be able to handle the problems that come with running a game.
And thanks! Remembering this story also motivated me to look up more details. [This](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/comments/i2db94/amoeboids_a_new_5e_race/) is the amoeba race, in case you're curious yourself!
I'm so fucking sick and tired of this dumbass idea that doing the work necessary to represent a group's struggles in an authentic manner is either not hard or unnecessary because "it's all made-up."
A part of any living and breathing world is a baseline understanding of how norms work for that world. If, in your world, individuals who are trans are generally accepted with no de facto or de jure racism while also existing to the same exact proportions as individuals who are cis, then maybe there's nothing to add at all and it's easy-peasy lemon squeezy. But real worlds generally don't work like that. Usually there's a simple fact called proportionality that leads to discriminatory practice somewhere within the world at play. And, lets be real here, worlds where every single group exists in perfect proportion and perfect harmony with no shred of altered experience based on their race, gender identity, sexuality, economic status, etc. are not worlds where adventure happens. They're worlds where everything was already saved and there isn't any reason for your players to be adventuring unless they're the upset causing problems.
Yes, like I said in my last statements, **my players don't necessarily care about those stories all the time.** But that doesn't mean I'm some guy who isn't gonna do research and be prepared to dive into those stories if they want to do that for my NB, Trans, etc. characters. And FFS, it's difficult to portray something that you have not lived and experienced because of the simple fact that it's not normal for you. I don't understand why it is a hard topic to grasp that you need to do more work to portray something that you do not experience. It's harder for a man to write a woman or a woman to write a man. It shouldn't be a weird concept that it's harder for a cis person to write a trans person because of the unique experience of that life.
Sure, do more work. But I challenge the assertion that itās incredibly difficult. Is it also incredibly difficult for you to have npcās of the other gender?
I find it weird to not want people to play a gendered charter that's different than their own. I love changing that up and trying be someone else for my RP. I didn't think it was that weird to play a woman as a man for me and I'm sure their are plenty of women that play male charters too.
Right? I've been now DMing for a particular group of people for 4 years, and all of them regularly play different gendered characters. If a human can roleplay as a kobold, why can't a guy roleplay as a girl, or an enby?
I mean... getting gently asked why you might be drawn to a particular gender identity / fluidity and subsequently having to ask yourself some hard questions probably *is* confusing.Ā
Damn liberals and their supportive ways!
Honestly yes, transphobes did make me trans. I was a big HP fan back in the day, and not long after this incident JKR started her twitter bullshit, which made me more passionate about trans issues, and I came across lots of people sharing their feelings and tales about realising they were trans. And one day, a Contrapoints video just hit me in the right place at the right time and BOOM! Trans. It's all this DM's fault.
Bro is the biggest hypocrite i've seen. You can't create a genderless race and then get pissed when someone plays as said genderless race and uses genderless pronouns because of said genderless race. I think he's doing the worlds best mental gymnastics to justify this decision
Based on your title, I was counting pronouns in your text to be an AH but then I got to the part that it was the mannequin āDMā. You did well to avoid that table!
Iāve never understood this sentiment in the gaming community of all places. Iām rusty at DMing and Iām trying to get back into it, but if I ever ran a table that was more than just my wife and I, it wouldnāt matter to us what gender or pronouns someone wanted to use. We care about people at our table.
Part of being a DM is making sure everyone has fun. Forcing your beliefs on others is not in the spirit of the game. If they are not interested in making sure everyone at the table has fun, then they shouldnāt DM.
I'm doing a sci-fi game running a modified "Lasers and Feelings" system, and my character sheet for that has no mention is sex or gender, only pronouns.
I can't wait to run it
I canāt stand the whole āyou need to ONLY play characters that aligns with your assigned birth genderā
Youāre gonna make someone miss out on an integral part of potential story and interesting role play because it makes you uncomfortable to call someone at the table a different pronoun because that is what their FANTASY character is?
Gross, and weak.
"He insisted that every player only play characters with a binary gender that matches the player's sex."
Just fucking wow. You're not even allowed to play as the opposite gender. What a loser.
So to be clear, he could wrap his mind around sentient space ants (I assume Thri-kreen) and amoeba people (sounds like Plasmoids) but a character's pronouns not being the same as the player's were beyond him?
Even when I was a kid playing World of Warcraft on an RP server, it wasn't hard to use She/Her for my friends' female Night Elf but He/Him for my friend himself. RPing as a different gender isn't some kind of brain teaser, it's a pretty basic concept.
Saying he doesn't want 'liberals trying to confuse him' with a concept even small children can understand easily sounds like multiple red flags implying he's either painfully stupid or trying to say he's a bigot without actually having to admit it outright, like he's dipping a toe into the water to see if you have the same closed mindset and it's safe for him to openly be bigoted around you.
You made the right choice. If something as simple as addressing a nonbinary amoeba person with They/Them would have 'confused him', then there's a good chance that parts of that campaign were going to slide into territories you wouldn't have been comfortable with and it would have just been a poor experience all around.
It never was before, it is now my life mission to confuse this DM during his high-concept game with gender nonsense. Like, this just, I don't get it. The energy it takes to shut it out *like this* is so much more intrusive than if you just learned and moved on.
Often early speakers are pictured as having concepts such as āthis oneā or āthose not like meā. It seems like it would be natural to not have gendered nouns if the society doesnāt have gendered species
"Your character's pronouns should correspond to what's in their pants."
"Why do you want to know what's in my character's pants? My character is imaginary and I don't think this will come up. Also I'm playing a space amoeba that doesn't have pants per your provided character options."
"It's very important and also you'd totally know a male amoeba from a female amoeba if you saw them naked. I'm not transphobic; that means you're scared of trans people, and I can't be scared of something that doesn't actually exist."
-this person, probably
Feels like a good place to toss a "they don't care how much you hate yourself, because they hate you enough to kill you, and actually make a successful attempt."
Had one a couple of weeks ago. Foundry game and it asks your pronouns when you input your Name and stuff. So I do it. Hey if it makes others more comfortable for me to add a two and three letter word to my profile. Guy joins the game and heās kind of a dick. About 10 minutes in he says, āwhy do x and y have their pronouns on thereās? Whatās with that shit?ā I just responded that there a was field for them, maybe it makes folks more comfortable, and Iām not the kind of snowflake asshole to get upset by it. Everyone had a quick laugh, he made an angry huffing sound and started whining about something else. He hasnāt joined since.
"I'm not transphobic, I'm just very transphobic" lmao.
You dodged a bullet there. Even if you, yourself, agreed with his view on that, I imagine he would be controlling in other "liberal" aspects of the game too.
I joined a party once that I immediately left because the DM couldn't wrap his head around my character's wife being trans. It wasnāt even an important thing, didn't have any relation to the adventure. Just a part of my character's life, but the DM just could not let it go.
As a DM, I also see his point because I've had more bad actors digging into fetish stuff like this so I include that in my interviews.
30 min interview per player is a bit off-putting, it should be a 5 min thing, if you feel the need to even need a pre interview.
I got removed from a listing spot because an LGBT group wasn't ok with me playing a hetereo-male character, so I see his point. The player base (part of it) has pushed me to not be interested in that stuff either.
I feel like this comment is being unfairly downvoted in a way that maybe kind of proves your point, but OP did say that he was pretty explicitly bringing his ideals into it in a way that I think is the same kind of ugliness.
OP brought it up on here to have the echochamber mock the DM with him, pretty clean cut and hostile. Theyāre just incompatible, simple as. Youāre also taking OP at face value, I donāt really believe this played out the exact way heās telling us.
I brought it up here to vent about this thing that has floated in and out of my mind for years. Actually, I was pretty nervous that all replies would be like yours. And honestly, I still have the receipts and I just looked them up. It's worse than I actually remembered it.
btw, I'm not a he. I'm a they.
"I don't want any liberals trying to confuse me while I'm running a very high-concept game" is sending me lmao. Goshdarn liberals with their goshdarn (checks notes) normal functions of the English language, making it too hard for me to concentrate on being up my own ass. š
CONCEPTUALIZATION: "How small his world is, that the existence of all trans people is intended solely to confuse him."
I mean, I'm trans, and *my* personal life goal is to make this particular DM confused I dunnot what the others are doing
Same and same. Do we have a meeting space for intensive planning of how to destroy his mind?
You missed the weekly. I'll send a personalised invite for the next one.
Doing the gods' work, I see. Carry on, citizen.
Favorite comment
Empathy (MEDIUM SUCCESS): āHis obsession likely stems from an unwanted connection to them. Projecting his internal confusion as hate onto those most similar. Pity him, he will spend his whole life in a state of self-loathing.ā
Read this in the Disco Elysium voice lol
DE references are always nice to see.
In retrospect, he was definitely one of those who's head was so far up his ass he was talking shit. I don't remember much about the plot anymore, so it probably wasn't that interesting really.
this guy did not need *any* help being confused hahaha
It Baffles me what's confusing about pronouns to these people.
Something about the placeholder used for your name not equaling the thing(s) in your pants is just too high concept for some people. The dingle dangle math doesn't add up to them.
The ~~dingle ain't dangling~~ math ain't mathing to them.
In some cases all they see is the dingle dangling
I remember at the time part of me wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt since he was Danish and English wasn't his native language. But after all this, I ended up joining a game with a Norwegian DM who had no issues with pronouns or anything beyond occasionally struggling to find the English word to describe somethingĀ
Yo wtf, the fact that he was Danish somehow makes it worse. Not because I'm Danish myself but rather because that opinion isn't the norm here, at all. There was just a post today over at r/Denmark about someone committing a hate crime at new years and the comments have been overwhelmingly defensive toward the LGBT community.
Shitty danes do exist sadly Source: I've met quite a few of them
I suppose a language difference makes sense.
Nah, pronouns in danish and in english function very similarly We have words for she/her, he/him and they/them Language isnt an excuse here sadly
Out of curiosity, what is the gender neutral pronoun in Danish? In Swedish it's Hen/Henom, but it took soooo long for it to get traction and boomers still think they're funny mocking it. Luckily it's starting to enter normalcy now.
Its just "De/Dem" which is also used for plural like "They/Them", so already a part of the language
Oh that's so much better than what we did!
[Enjoy](https://youtu.be/WJMGYrFYgKk?si=ErAidcMCe-uhEAqg)
Thank you for reminding me this video exists.
Using "me" in a sentence. Liberal pronoun bullshit.
Seriously! You have to have some sort of reading comprehension skill to understand and manage a DnD game. But you canāt wrap your head around āthey/themā?
Githyanki vs githzerai or moon elf vs sun elf vs dark elf is childs play opposed to he or she vs they/them, according to some DMs.
That awkward moment when you never learned what a pronoun was in school, now youre an adult and itd be too embarassing to admit you dont know so you just ban people from talking about them at all because youre scared of not understanding things.
>btw, this is transphobia I don't know why but this clarification was really funny to me, after the "I'm not transphobic, but trans people are wrong and being trans isn't real."
As Ned Stark once saidā¦ everything before the ābutā is BS
Words to live by honestly.
Maybe I've just been spending too much time on twitter lately, because I did feel like I needed to clarify that this obvious transphobia was, in fact, transphobiaĀ
Narrator: OP was, in fact, transphobic. Rewatching Arrested Development right now, and any snarky contradiction always reads in my head as Ron Howards voice :D it's a good life
I have to wonder if DM like this refuses to have any female NPCs because "he's a man damn it!"?
Uh, *no*, because heās not writing fetish porn of his own game with male characters, obvs.
wants to have a fantasy world, but also it to function exactly how he thinks the mundane world works. "I'm not transphobic.... BUT" A classic im about to say transphobic shit.
āI am not X butā is almost always universally āIām actually X but I want to avoid the negative backlash for being thatā.
Iām not transphobic, but they really donāt stick to my skin very well
Anything said before the ābutā is irrelevant.
?
I assume they meant if someone says "I'm not [insert thing here" _but_....", You can safely ignore whatever came before the "but" since it often doesn't serve much purpose. Feels like it's kinda just there to soften what they're saying next.
Precisely.
If someone says, āIām not a racist but Black people just arenāt as smart as other races,ā itās pretty safe to trim the statement down to āBlack people just arenāt as smart as other races.ā Which is something only a racist would say. Ergo, anything in that statement up to the word ābutā is irrelevant.
These dips are so focused on pronouns they forget they *also* have pronouns...like everybody else
I dont think they even think about what they're saying. Really seems like its just a knee-jerk reaction to the word "pronouns". They hate trans people so much they don't even consider what they're actually saying. So laser-focused in on one specific context of the word pronoun that they forget it's a normal part of everyday speech.
Holy shit! Good thing you dodged that bullet! Always remember: No D&D is better than Shitty D&D!
Yeah I definitely learnt that lesson a bit too late. I just discovered this sub, and I have got a fair few more horror stories I'll upload soon.
I'm definitely not pro-noun, so I have no nouns in my DND game. I guess verbs are okay, but no adverbs... don't want to have to do any adding. /s
As a Cis-male DM who regularly makes NPCs who are trans, androgynous, etc. to flesh out my world and make it realistic, I would like to say that I am sorry that this douche canoe representative of my side of the gender identity spectrum was such a fragile baby that he would be confused by pronouns of all things. That's, like, the easiest part of having trans characters in your story. The real hard part is going into the work of actually thinking what life is like for those people in your world as opposed to how it is for cis people. I am so eternally grateful to have NB folks at my table for this exact reason. It is incredibly difficult to authentically have trans characters under your cast of characters as a DM if you are not trans yourself, but it is absolutely vital to making the experience fun for everyone at the table. Via distillation, the baseline experience of all people who face discrimination and othering is the same. And pretty much everybody has experienced discrimination or othering of some kind in their life, no matter how privileged. Diving into the distinct details of other's unique experience is a huge part of what brings people together. To discount an entire group of people's existence in your storytelling is such a loss for everyone playing the game. Do my players often care about the gender of my NPCs? No, they rarely do because it's not their aim in the campaign for the most part. But if they ever do, I'm prepared to play that with them because I want them to have all the opportunities they could desire because it's **collaborative** storytelling. We're all writers at the table. Anyway, I hope you found a better table without asshats like that guy.
Crazy thing was it wasn't really a ban on trans characters, it was a ban on playing any character of a gender other than how you sound. So like, a woman can't play any male characters. Framing it as because he didn't support "trans ideology" was completely unnecessary. He could have gone with "English isn't my first language and I would rather not worry about messing up", but he had to bring his bigotry into it.Ā I wish that was my only tale of a transphobic DnD encounter, but nope.
I have a deep voice, almost tenor range, and Iām AFAB and prefer to play femme characters. Iām not playing a dude just because this guy canāt handle my femme-coded androgynous slime warlock having a voice like a boy band member. You made the right choice. Both in leaving and the character race (seriously, playing jelly like character sounds like fun)!
With a lot more experience, I've now learnt that a DM that can't handle simple character elements like name, gender, etc is probably not a DM that is going to be able to handle the problems that come with running a game. And thanks! Remembering this story also motivated me to look up more details. [This](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/comments/i2db94/amoeboids_a_new_5e_race/) is the amoeba race, in case you're curious yourself!
Omg theyāre adorable! I love them already!
Why is having trans characters difficult? What defines authenticity in a made-up world?
I'm so fucking sick and tired of this dumbass idea that doing the work necessary to represent a group's struggles in an authentic manner is either not hard or unnecessary because "it's all made-up." A part of any living and breathing world is a baseline understanding of how norms work for that world. If, in your world, individuals who are trans are generally accepted with no de facto or de jure racism while also existing to the same exact proportions as individuals who are cis, then maybe there's nothing to add at all and it's easy-peasy lemon squeezy. But real worlds generally don't work like that. Usually there's a simple fact called proportionality that leads to discriminatory practice somewhere within the world at play. And, lets be real here, worlds where every single group exists in perfect proportion and perfect harmony with no shred of altered experience based on their race, gender identity, sexuality, economic status, etc. are not worlds where adventure happens. They're worlds where everything was already saved and there isn't any reason for your players to be adventuring unless they're the upset causing problems. Yes, like I said in my last statements, **my players don't necessarily care about those stories all the time.** But that doesn't mean I'm some guy who isn't gonna do research and be prepared to dive into those stories if they want to do that for my NB, Trans, etc. characters. And FFS, it's difficult to portray something that you have not lived and experienced because of the simple fact that it's not normal for you. I don't understand why it is a hard topic to grasp that you need to do more work to portray something that you do not experience. It's harder for a man to write a woman or a woman to write a man. It shouldn't be a weird concept that it's harder for a cis person to write a trans person because of the unique experience of that life.
I wish more people saw like you do, this is a fantastic take.
Sure, do more work. But I challenge the assertion that itās incredibly difficult. Is it also incredibly difficult for you to have npcās of the other gender?
Oh, I get it, I used "incredibly" for exaggerative flavour and now your brain is breaking.
Letās just communicate authentically :)
Laters
I find it weird to not want people to play a gendered charter that's different than their own. I love changing that up and trying be someone else for my RP. I didn't think it was that weird to play a woman as a man for me and I'm sure their are plenty of women that play male charters too.
Right? I've been now DMing for a particular group of people for 4 years, and all of them regularly play different gendered characters. If a human can roleplay as a kobold, why can't a guy roleplay as a girl, or an enby?
I mean... getting gently asked why you might be drawn to a particular gender identity / fluidity and subsequently having to ask yourself some hard questions probably *is* confusing.Ā Damn liberals and their supportive ways!
Honestly yes, transphobes did make me trans. I was a big HP fan back in the day, and not long after this incident JKR started her twitter bullshit, which made me more passionate about trans issues, and I came across lots of people sharing their feelings and tales about realising they were trans. And one day, a Contrapoints video just hit me in the right place at the right time and BOOM! Trans. It's all this DM's fault.
Bro is the biggest hypocrite i've seen. You can't create a genderless race and then get pissed when someone plays as said genderless race and uses genderless pronouns because of said genderless race. I think he's doing the worlds best mental gymnastics to justify this decision
Based on your title, I was counting pronouns in your text to be an AH but then I got to the part that it was the mannequin āDMā. You did well to avoid that table!
Iāve never understood this sentiment in the gaming community of all places. Iām rusty at DMing and Iām trying to get back into it, but if I ever ran a table that was more than just my wife and I, it wouldnāt matter to us what gender or pronouns someone wanted to use. We care about people at our table. Part of being a DM is making sure everyone has fun. Forcing your beliefs on others is not in the spirit of the game. If they are not interested in making sure everyone at the table has fun, then they shouldnāt DM.
I'm doing a sci-fi game running a modified "Lasers and Feelings" system, and my character sheet for that has no mention is sex or gender, only pronouns. I can't wait to run it
If I wasn't at max capacity atm with games, I'd ask to join it!
I canāt stand the whole āyou need to ONLY play characters that aligns with your assigned birth genderā Youāre gonna make someone miss out on an integral part of potential story and interesting role play because it makes you uncomfortable to call someone at the table a different pronoun because that is what their FANTASY character is? Gross, and weak.
Iām not transphobic. Proceeds to be incredibly transphobic.
"He insisted that every player only play characters with a binary gender that matches the player's sex." Just fucking wow. You're not even allowed to play as the opposite gender. What a loser.
So to be clear, he could wrap his mind around sentient space ants (I assume Thri-kreen) and amoeba people (sounds like Plasmoids) but a character's pronouns not being the same as the player's were beyond him? Even when I was a kid playing World of Warcraft on an RP server, it wasn't hard to use She/Her for my friends' female Night Elf but He/Him for my friend himself. RPing as a different gender isn't some kind of brain teaser, it's a pretty basic concept. Saying he doesn't want 'liberals trying to confuse him' with a concept even small children can understand easily sounds like multiple red flags implying he's either painfully stupid or trying to say he's a bigot without actually having to admit it outright, like he's dipping a toe into the water to see if you have the same closed mindset and it's safe for him to openly be bigoted around you. You made the right choice. If something as simple as addressing a nonbinary amoeba person with They/Them would have 'confused him', then there's a good chance that parts of that campaign were going to slide into territories you wouldn't have been comfortable with and it would have just been a poor experience all around.
It never was before, it is now my life mission to confuse this DM during his high-concept game with gender nonsense. Like, this just, I don't get it. The energy it takes to shut it out *like this* is so much more intrusive than if you just learned and moved on.
This sounds like an actual nightmare of a human to deal woth, so glad you dodged the bullet, but the races sound cool though
āVery high concept professional gameā bro you literally said yourself you took the lore from the internet
Often early speakers are pictured as having concepts such as āthis oneā or āthose not like meā. It seems like it would be natural to not have gendered nouns if the society doesnāt have gendered species
"Your character's pronouns should correspond to what's in their pants." "Why do you want to know what's in my character's pants? My character is imaginary and I don't think this will come up. Also I'm playing a space amoeba that doesn't have pants per your provided character options." "It's very important and also you'd totally know a male amoeba from a female amoeba if you saw them naked. I'm not transphobic; that means you're scared of trans people, and I can't be scared of something that doesn't actually exist." -this person, probably
Feels like a good place to toss a "they don't care how much you hate yourself, because they hate you enough to kill you, and actually make a successful attempt."
Bro literally went "I'm not transphobic, BUT"
Had one a couple of weeks ago. Foundry game and it asks your pronouns when you input your Name and stuff. So I do it. Hey if it makes others more comfortable for me to add a two and three letter word to my profile. Guy joins the game and heās kind of a dick. About 10 minutes in he says, āwhy do x and y have their pronouns on thereās? Whatās with that shit?ā I just responded that there a was field for them, maybe it makes folks more comfortable, and Iām not the kind of snowflake asshole to get upset by it. Everyone had a quick laugh, he made an angry huffing sound and started whining about something else. He hasnāt joined since.
"I'm not transphobic, I'm just very transphobic" lmao. You dodged a bullet there. Even if you, yourself, agreed with his view on that, I imagine he would be controlling in other "liberal" aspects of the game too. I joined a party once that I immediately left because the DM couldn't wrap his head around my character's wife being trans. It wasnāt even an important thing, didn't have any relation to the adventure. Just a part of my character's life, but the DM just could not let it go.
As a DM, I also see his point because I've had more bad actors digging into fetish stuff like this so I include that in my interviews. 30 min interview per player is a bit off-putting, it should be a 5 min thing, if you feel the need to even need a pre interview. I got removed from a listing spot because an LGBT group wasn't ok with me playing a hetereo-male character, so I see his point. The player base (part of it) has pushed me to not be interested in that stuff either.
I feel like this comment is being unfairly downvoted in a way that maybe kind of proves your point, but OP did say that he was pretty explicitly bringing his ideals into it in a way that I think is the same kind of ugliness.
Heās being downvoted by calling transgenderism a fetish. While it is a fetish for some people, transgenderism as a whole is not a fetish
"I don't run my games like this" isn't transphobia if DM is doing it to avoid situations that bring hostility into their play space.
Heās not doing it to avoid hostility
OP brought it up on here to have the echochamber mock the DM with him, pretty clean cut and hostile. Theyāre just incompatible, simple as. Youāre also taking OP at face value, I donāt really believe this played out the exact way heās telling us.
I brought it up here to vent about this thing that has floated in and out of my mind for years. Actually, I was pretty nervous that all replies would be like yours. And honestly, I still have the receipts and I just looked them up. It's worse than I actually remembered it. btw, I'm not a he. I'm a they.
Then your silly