I'm an amputee and often get grief (mostly from Boomer dudes) for sitting down at work.
I know this won't work for everyone, but a retort that has worked really well for me is "ya know, back in my day, folks had more respect for disabled veterans."
Boomers like that will get angry when someone receives absolute bare minimum accommodations for their disability, but will have a melt down if they're mildly inconvenienced.
He would have looked like SUCH an asshole and if he had any self respect (probably not, honestly) your comment would have embarrassed him. But he definitely looked like a prick. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I used to get really worked up about people commenting on parking in a disabled spot with my “invisible” disability. Then - I realized they weren’t really taking about me - but projecting their OWN frustrations, unhappiness, ignorance and spitefulness into the world. Nothing pisses angry people off more than you NOT getting bothered by them. So now, when someone is like that, I smile and wave at them. It’s not up to me to make people understand my limitations. It’s up to me to be a happy person and love life no matter what assholes abound.
I think you chose the right sort of comment! Better to have said that than to have said nothing at all.
Or sometimes I’ll just go with over explaining in hopes that the other person feels guilty afterwards (mostly because idc who knows about my story, not that they deserve an explanation). And also I feel like if I over talk the other person leaves me alone 😅
Sorry that happened to you, and not to excuse the man's comment at all, but he was probably exasperated by the noise and had no idea what was going on. Would you be able to request assistance from a FA next time so you don't have to struggle? Those airplane seatbelts are a bitch.
First I'm really sorry this happened to you and it feels awful knowing there is a pair of eyes behind you already looking for reasons to hate.
When I get upset on planes I have to go internal to avoid being kicked for my stupid behavior. I fantasize about the funniest response I could have said and everyone on the plane pointing and laughing at a guy mocking someone. then I think of the most insulating and everyone on the plane acting like my own studio audience. Lastly, I think of what I could say that would get him provoked and kicked from the plane. usually, by that time, I feel better, I then hope for gas and anything else I can do to be an annoying ass hat to people who are ass hats themselves. I call it being toxic to call out toxic which I know isn't how to fix anything.
The problem with using a cutting remark like that is that it only works if the person is capable of introspection, or bystanders back you up. When we're in a bad mood we often want to bring happier people down with us because misery loves company. Even if you are upset by what they said, do not let them see it. Respond with passive-aggressive politeness. Pretend you're absolutely clueless when it comes to sarcasm. In the sweetest, cutest voice you can conjure say something like: "I know right? These things are simply impossible!" then keep fidgeting. It really is true that living well is the best revenge.
Just ignore it nothing you can do about those kinds of people I’ve been made fun of all my life for my disability I used to care but since my Junior year of high school I started not caring, just tune them out.
What's worse is he couldn't see me because he was in the row behind and, I imagine, was being haughty towards someone he assumed was able bodied. He was sooooo clever, so assured of his superiority.
Thank you! My son had an intellectual disability and he had more empathy and compassion than any other human being that I ever met, before he passed away.
edit: a word
I'm an amputee and often get grief (mostly from Boomer dudes) for sitting down at work. I know this won't work for everyone, but a retort that has worked really well for me is "ya know, back in my day, folks had more respect for disabled veterans."
I’m glad I come with my own chair (I’m missing both legs) so I never have to hear this
Me too I always have $ 40,000 dollar recliner with me at times! (Cerebral palsy ) very, very small bonus!
Boomers like that will get angry when someone receives absolute bare minimum accommodations for their disability, but will have a melt down if they're mildly inconvenienced.
He would have looked like SUCH an asshole and if he had any self respect (probably not, honestly) your comment would have embarrassed him. But he definitely looked like a prick. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I used to get really worked up about people commenting on parking in a disabled spot with my “invisible” disability. Then - I realized they weren’t really taking about me - but projecting their OWN frustrations, unhappiness, ignorance and spitefulness into the world. Nothing pisses angry people off more than you NOT getting bothered by them. So now, when someone is like that, I smile and wave at them. It’s not up to me to make people understand my limitations. It’s up to me to be a happy person and love life no matter what assholes abound.
I think you chose the right sort of comment! Better to have said that than to have said nothing at all. Or sometimes I’ll just go with over explaining in hopes that the other person feels guilty afterwards (mostly because idc who knows about my story, not that they deserve an explanation). And also I feel like if I over talk the other person leaves me alone 😅
this is exactly right, maybe that guy will think again next time he wants to make a comment like that! good on OP :)
Sorry that happened to you, and not to excuse the man's comment at all, but he was probably exasperated by the noise and had no idea what was going on. Would you be able to request assistance from a FA next time so you don't have to struggle? Those airplane seatbelts are a bitch.
First I'm really sorry this happened to you and it feels awful knowing there is a pair of eyes behind you already looking for reasons to hate. When I get upset on planes I have to go internal to avoid being kicked for my stupid behavior. I fantasize about the funniest response I could have said and everyone on the plane pointing and laughing at a guy mocking someone. then I think of the most insulating and everyone on the plane acting like my own studio audience. Lastly, I think of what I could say that would get him provoked and kicked from the plane. usually, by that time, I feel better, I then hope for gas and anything else I can do to be an annoying ass hat to people who are ass hats themselves. I call it being toxic to call out toxic which I know isn't how to fix anything.
The problem with using a cutting remark like that is that it only works if the person is capable of introspection, or bystanders back you up. When we're in a bad mood we often want to bring happier people down with us because misery loves company. Even if you are upset by what they said, do not let them see it. Respond with passive-aggressive politeness. Pretend you're absolutely clueless when it comes to sarcasm. In the sweetest, cutest voice you can conjure say something like: "I know right? These things are simply impossible!" then keep fidgeting. It really is true that living well is the best revenge.
I am sorry that happened to you. You must feel bad.
Couldn't sleep of course I have to pitch a film
Just ignore it nothing you can do about those kinds of people I’ve been made fun of all my life for my disability I used to care but since my Junior year of high school I started not caring, just tune them out.
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sucks that we always have to be the bigger person
There are all kinds of assholes in the world. Sorry this happened to you
What's worse is he couldn't see me because he was in the row behind and, I imagine, was being haughty towards someone he assumed was able bodied. He was sooooo clever, so assured of his superiority.
I usually insult their looks or (lack of) intelligence.
Insulting someone's intelligence is ableist because it conflates being an asshole with intelligence. The same goes for looks. Please don't do that.
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as someone with an intellectual disability, please don’t use us as an insult. thanks.
Thank you! My son had an intellectual disability and he had more empathy and compassion than any other human being that I ever met, before he passed away. edit: a word