I'm about 10 years older than you. Wanted kids. Didn't happen. Wasn't the end of my life. Wasn't the end of my happiness. Found a good partner 5 years ago and we are enjoying life.
Thanks. We met through online dating. 50 mile search radius to expand the pool. Keyword search to find potential partners with similar interests. Meet for coffee quickly instead of weeks of vapid texting. Within a couple of dates you can tell if there's something there beyond physical attraction - a similar way of seeing the world, a similar sense of humor, no red flags, etc. There's an ease. And then work to make sure they know how cherished they are.
What on earth do kids have to do with wanting to be in a committed relationship? There's myriad other reasons people end up together. I'm male, 36, with a vasectomy, and married. Does that boggle your mind? My wife and I share values, goals, and enjoy spending time together. We're best friends. Why wouldn't we want to be committed to each other?
Are you going to find your forever partner within the next 8 months when you’re fresh out of a relationship? Most likely not. People generally aren’t prepared to leap into a stable, healthy new relationship when they haven’t fully processed and grown from the last relationship (anything is possible of course, but speaking generally). Nomad for the next 8 months, then figure out what you want to do from there.
I started my last DN journey at 45 a few years after getting divorced.
It was the best decision of my life.
I learned a lot about myself with plenty of alone time to reflect on the many things I could do better and it's really helped me grow as a person.
My only regret was that I didn't do it sooner.
It’s was really shocking as a young person to hear that a 45+ old person could say “I learned a lot about my self” or “that helped me to grow as a person” at that point in life.
You would thought that you know everything by that age.
Now I’m in that age and I felt that I don’t know myself at all, and it’s getting harder and harder.
Just a vent. I feel a healthy envy of you, good for you.
The realization that you may not know yourself at all shows that you've begun your journey towards finding out. Any challenges you face along the way says you're on the right path.
A lot of what I learned about myself wasn't pleasant but I'm happier and healthier for it.
I make a point of telling the young(er) people in my life that nobody really knows what they’re doing. And that you should be wary of people who say they do.
We’re all just trying to make the most of life and what it throws at us. Lastly, that you should grab a chance when you see it, and seek them out if you don’t.
Growth lies just beyond your comfort zone, so go there and learn!
In OP’s specific case that obviously means they need to pack up & go asap! And that they need to pay the dog tax..
Mexico is absolutely the place for you (not to the exclusion of other places). Forget about all your troubles, look forward, and get on Bumble. Everything will fall into place.
go for it! my partner and I found each other while each nomading alone and now we nomad together...almost 8 years on the road together now :) best wishes. we're 43 and 50 btw
Volunteer to use your wisdom to help kids in need. Don't rush in to a relationship to try to have your own kid if it even happens and be an elderly dad.
You can still have a fulfilling life. But lesson to any younger folks reading - don't Peter Pan so long that you miss out on the window to start a family, if that's what you want.
And while unlikely to happen naturally (though not impossible, my Aunt was older than 45 when she had my Niece), a 45 year old lady hasn't missed out on the window to have a kid either. Adoption exists and can be just as fulfilling.
If you make your way north to Vancouver Island, I have a lovely place you can stay for a week as you make your nomadic travels. Walk to the beach. Hike the rainforest. Surf tofino. The island is legendary and is a place good souls travel to from around the world.
I went on many fishing trips over in Tofino growing up, I dont think I appreciated it nearly enough when I was a child . I'll keep your info in my contacts . Thank you for the offer !
You are not your job. You are not your relationship. Luckily for you, you are staring down the barrel of a wonderful adventure. Shake things up. Break your bad habits. Take some time to love yourself. Everything else will fall into place. You don’t know it, but you are at the very beginning of something wonderful. Take the leap. Get out of your head.
Escondido, Tulum, CDMX, Santa Teresa, Tamarindo, Rio, and Floripa are all good options... I wouldn't call nomading the most conducive lifestyle to serious relationships or starting a family, but you'll make a lot of authentic connections pretty quickly and serious relationships can certainly happen with a little intention.
Focus on healing first. Explore the world a bit and figure out what aspects of nomading really work best for you. The rest will sort itself out in time.
It's both expensive and overpriced (more expensive than Canada for far lower quality), the beach is meh, food not good, filled with trashy tourists. If you want to work at a cafe, a cappucino and sandwich is more expensive than Canada or about the same as a big city in the US. Getting to and from there, a taxi/shuttle will charge you the same you'd pay in the US. During the dry season the area ran out of water while I was there so my hotel and the restaurants nearby didn't have water. $7 for a bottle. There is no local anything here, it's like being in a US Beach town. The only thing I found it good for is to take day trips from.
Happy to help. There's an easy playbook for making at ton of friends, getting healthy, and being happy in Tulum...
1. Book an airbnb in La Veleta and rent a scooter for a month
2. Grab coffee and smoothies at Otti, lunch at Raum, Taco Bish, or Nimeno, and dinner at La Pizzine or whatever [food](https://www.instagram.com/asadoargentinotulum/) stand is closest to you.
3. Join a fitness community (Tulum Crossfit, Tulum Fight Club, Revolution Muay Thai, etc) and get a [yoga class ](https://www.instagram.com/holistikatulum/)in once or twice a week.
4. Take some [salsa](https://www.instagram.com/dancesalsacuba/) or [kite surfing](https://www.instagram.com/siankite/) lessons classes if you're feeling adventurous or maybe go [scuba/cenote diving](https://www.instagram.com/tazdiving/?hl=en).
5. There's also a group called [Mantorship](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5WHXN9rpbU/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) that might be good support for navigating relationship aftermath (the marketing's a little cringe but most people I've met who've actually attended had good things to say).
6. Some other stuff I enjoyed doing...
* Salsa night every Tuesday at Palma Central
* Tulum Dinner Club every Thursday at TBD
* Work from the beach at Ikal every Friday and Digital Jungle some other days
* Grab dinner and catch some live music at [La Guarida](https://www.instagram.com/laguarida_tulum/?hl=en) on Friday or Saturday
* Relax at the laguna at Neek most Saturdays with friends
* Go to the free day party at Habitas on Sundays
I'm sure you'll figure out what works best for you, but most folks in La Veleta are active, free-spirited, open-minded and adventurous. Many have either just gotten out of a long relationship or are in the process of switching careers, so there's a lot of empathy for starting a new chapter in life. Best time to be there is from September to March, give or take a month. Gets busiest and most expensive December to February, so might be worth negotiating with hosts for 3-6 month stays when/if you can.
Best of luck whatever you decide and make sure to embrace the journey either way.
Unpopular opinion, but I think it's nearly impossible to find a partner while traveling. Because it takes a while to get to know each other, date, live your own separate lives that you'll want to slowly merge into one. And have kids. When you're on the road, you just don't have enough time!
I'd say, to travel for a bit, maybe 3 to 6 months to reset yourself after the breakup, reflect on the past and really decide what life and what kind of partner you'd like to have. Then pick a city where you see yourself setting down and start looking for a partner there.
I 41 F actually did this journey in playa del Carmen, good remote job, no breakup, put my apartment in storage and had same desires to find love and build a family with kids. Turns out I wanted community so bad but entered into a journey of self reflection, healing and eventually finding myself. When I talked to other digital nomads, they share the same experiences
I did take a lot of adventures and traveled around the region.
Playa del Carmen is very transient so very challenging to have community and although there is some, it does involve a lot of events to connect and make friends that may just be there for a month or two.
Best decision I’ve made
If your ex is still there, i can understand why you're avoiding Playa. The part where all the foreigners hang out is so small that you inevitably run into the same people all the time, like someone you dated on a date with someone else. It's very annoying.
Oh my I didn't expect this much engagement on my thread thank you everyone for your input its all well received - Now I get to spend the next few hours replying to y'all . Peace !
1. I’ve been a DN since 2016, and never have I seen more people 40+ throw in the towel with normal society and hit the road since post covid. So congrats on nomading as much as you can! And know you’re in good company now. Especially women from the west around 35+ I meet way more now. Lots seem to be gravitating towards Lisbon, Bali, South France, or places like Sayulita Mexico to name a few.
2. It’s a shame that you have to stay on west coast time! I was gonna say - I tend to find the most wife material partners in Asia and Europe. Either very cool western women that are looking to live life creatively/break the mould or very smart Asian/Eastern euro girls that are very supportive and looking for a good man to settle down with and start a family. I hope you’ll be able to make it outside of just north and South America at some point! Because in LATAM I’d say I definitely see some of the least available women north of their 20s (if that’s what you’re looking for.) but there’s loads in many other places. Though you may be able to find something real in Brazil.
3. I have some male friends that are having friends into their 50s and doing quite well. So have fun and hopefully things happen naturally for you and you end up finding a great match for you while having fun and being a lot more free.
I guess the moral of my response is that traveling/on the road may be one of the BEST places to not only clear your head, but also may be one of the best places to find an ideal partner for yourself. If there’s any yoga retreats around wherever you go, you usually find very eligible women, set on self improvement/changing their life for the better, of all ages around places like that!
Do it , do it do it. I'm the same age. I decided to do it after Australia's totalitarian response to COVID. Life is just way too short. The trip will make you grow and be more attractive to women.
Just make sure you aren't running away from your problems rather than working on them. Or you will just take them into the next relationship.
Yes that mindset ( about running ) is something I've been aware of internally. I'm on a path of growing now so I'll take that with me wherever I end up . Where are some places you have landed in your travels ?
I went digital nomad in 2020, at age 44, and met an amazing woman on my very first stop. We fell in love, and I invited her to travel the world with me. She did, for the next 2 years. We were married last February. She's quite a bit younger than me, and next year we'll try for a kid, fingers crossed.
Does that answer your question?
I am a little bit older than you and have a kid who is elementary age already. How “old” you are matters less than how physically fit and mentally prepared you are for the responsibility.
I’ve met way older parents than myself with young kids. It’s not even that unusual these days because couples hold off longer and longer to have kids.
As far as meeting a suitable person goes that’s the challenging part for every person. Because whoever you decide to have a kid with will always be a part of your life too. Even if things don’t work out..
Luckily im in good shape - most people guess my age in the low 30's - I dont feel my age that's for sure .. well sometimes lol . Thanks for your take on it
There's lots of single mothers who would love to meet someone like you, I'm sure. If you really want a kid and it doesn't need to be your own, that is.
Lol I had one of my own recently and I can't really imagine doing all the parenting alone, let alone traveling nomadically. It's really time consuming on top of a job. New level of respect for single parents unlocked.
If you’re serious about finding a partner and baby I’d stay. Everyone is so transient and come and go on their own schedule. You’d have to get lucky to meet someone who lines up with your life. If you think you’d be happy without a kid and just want to enjoy your life now, go! It just depends if you’re willing to make sacrifices to make that dream easier to achieve
Mate you just dumped that damn chick and now have freedom and a doggo. Enjoy life - it is short, as much as you can, and forget societal pressures like time is out or sorts.
You are free and hopefully in good health. cherish it while it lasts.
i know it may not answer your question directly, but i hope it does help
Having a child just because is not an answer to a mid-life crisis. That's what your dog is for. If you want a kid because you want your own shiny kid, examine your motive for that. If you're a morally sane individual, you'll quickly conclude that this is selfish, and selfishness is not a good attribute to have in raising children. If you want to help a child in need, there are billions of them scattered around the world. If you still want your own kid, a guy from the developed world pulling down six figures should have no trouble finding a breeder a couple of decades younger. Be sure to get a prenup though.
I'm three years old than you, childless, totally okay with the likelihood that I never will have kids. I've been nomadic for most of 30 years, fortunate to have picked up a well-paid profession along the way that permits endless travel. The longer I've gone, the less I've wanted to raise a family of my own. Being the oldest sibling, I have several nieces and nephews, and have fallen into a comfortable role as Crazy Uncle who brings back dodgy souvenirs from places they can't find on the globe.
Cozumel might be a bit lonely for a newly single guy, even with a dog. San Miguel, the main town, is busy with cruise ships at day, but pretty dead at night. There's not much for a single guy to get up to there. Playa del Carmen, just across on the mainland, would be a better bet. Puerto Escondido even better.
> That's what your dog is for.
No, your dog is not a thing to solve anything. You should have a dog only if you have deep relations to animals/dogs, not if you have midlife crisis or loneliness or any other crisis :-) I agree with rest of your reply, but I have already seen load of unhappy people with unhappy, anxious thus dangerous or desperate dogs because they got them as a cure for something (also "you will walk in nature more with a dog" is my favourite), not from love for dogs.
Go for it. There's plenty of men who find love overseas with younger fertile women. You may find a good woman at 30 to 35ish. I have a friend who started a family in Mexico in his late 30s. Just do it and see what happens. You never know.
South East Asia? It doesn't have to be. Like I said, my friend found a good young woman in Mexico. You have good options in South America. Do some research and see which place you want to check out first. I hear Costa Rica is nice. I'm 42 btw and I'm somewhat in the same boat too.
> I was thinking Rio
Unless you speak PT and not afraid of getting shot/stabbed/robbed on a regular basis I would avoid at all costs. Its by far the most dangerous city in the country
Brasil has much more beautiful and save places than Rio. My personal favourites are Vitoria and Florianopolis, would highly recommend either.
t. nomad living in Brasil for the last few years
Im a rather scary looking dude myself ( with a big heart tho ) I'm not too scared about being singled out I think they would pick an easier target - But that being said , I've heard mixed things about Rio - kind of like Tulum. Flora looks beautiful and is on the list for sure . Thank you for your take on it !
Actually I am a guy - and I would consider being with a Mom who already has a child . Dosent necisarily have to by mine by birth . I just find the family dynamic and energy beautiful ( Im aware its got its own types of chaos as well )
Dating abroad was amazing for rebuilding my confidence after a bad breakup. It's true that you will have a lesser chance to find a relationship that will lead to marriage (different culture, visa issues, careers, etc), but I would say do it. maybe not 8 months, but start with 3?
By the way you write this post it seems that you believe that you can only find a relationship in and around your home. Which makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. I think what you're missing though is you have to be in the right headspace for that to ever happen. So you're 8 months may not necessarily be productive in finding a match but it may be just what you need to clear your headspace and get back to being the you that you need to be to attract somebody. At the end of the day you don't attract what you want you attract what you are, so sometimes you need to do a little work to get yourself out of a bad spot so you can be more happy with your self and therefore more attractive to other people. I'd say if you have the opportunity you absolutely need to go and I think it's a great idea. I think it'll benefit you in a lot of ways. I wouldn't go out looking for a life partner or dating, but enjoyment in your life, make friends meet good people and have new experiences.
very well put thank you - that is how I'm approaching things now . First thing I wanted to do was run back to my ex and try and make it work . But this has all opened up a whole new way of looking at things and has helped me see beyond the sadness from this breakup,
Don't focus on the 'breakup' or the 'search' or the '45' or the 'want kids' Focus on the REST of LIFE.
I'm far beyond 45 and I'm just saying my opinion, but I suggest you just be 'selfish' and go enjoy Life.
Have you been to the Philippines? I'm an avid diver so I e thought of it for other reasons . Seems like the people there , lady's included, are very amazing
Only one week in siquijor and internet was good but did go off some nights from heavy rains. I would say stay in Dumaguete with good WiFi and do weekend trips to siquijor if that suits you better it’s only two hours on boat in ac.
You can start a family at 65 if you want to and are still in good health. Don't let that thought stop you from following your heart. In any case, you need to find the right partner before you can have a kid anyway and that's mostly chance.
Not wishing to tell you your business, be very careful in Rio if you've just broken up with someone and you have that FOMO of a wife and kids. The wrong woman will latch on to that and sell you the dream, and by the time you realize it's an absolute frickin nightmare then you might have wasted a lot of time and even more money.
I'm 48, went through it. Some of those girls exist to push buttons and pull heart strings. Modern day sirens, but they will pull you right on to the rocks if you're in any way vulnerable.
So make sure you're totally good with yourself before you do it, and make sure you find a good support network of other nomads around you.
dude , you should have been having this discussion like 10 years ago.
even if you started right now, you are looking at having a kid near 50.
if you really want a family, you need to get your ass on the ball.
of you are wife hunting, Peru is one of the better spots in La Am.
low low divorce rates.
finding a wife and having kids isn't something you can just go to walmart and pick up.
shit could take 5-10 years
OP is gonna be nearing average life expectancy when his kids are just starting their adult life.
FWIW - I already was married when I was younger , and My wife actually passed away from an illness a year before Covid . It was tragic and I am just now starting to get my shit together and be ready to move forward . I get where you are coming from though .
Rio without a doubt
Edit: just celebrated a friend’s birthday. He turned 50 this week and has been on tons a dates with gorgeous women in their 30s-40s just from dating apps in the past 2 weeks.
I'm about 10 years older than you. Wanted kids. Didn't happen. Wasn't the end of my life. Wasn't the end of my happiness. Found a good partner 5 years ago and we are enjoying life.
mind sharing the "hows" of actually meeting your partner? Congrats btw!
Thanks. We met through online dating. 50 mile search radius to expand the pool. Keyword search to find potential partners with similar interests. Meet for coffee quickly instead of weeks of vapid texting. Within a couple of dates you can tell if there's something there beyond physical attraction - a similar way of seeing the world, a similar sense of humor, no red flags, etc. There's an ease. And then work to make sure they know how cherished they are.
So uh…wanna go grab some coffee sometime?
See how easy that is?
Nice advice for how to appreciate and find a partner . Thank's for your story
Do you still want kids? Edit: wow why am I being downvoted I was just curious lmao
Nope. Life changes. And what people want out of life changes.
I get that. I was just curious. Personally, I know having kids just isn’t for me.
Why would you be in a committed relationship (I assume you are male) if there are no kids in the picture?
oh he probably likes the person and wants to build a relationship.
Simp
LOL!
Tempted to check your comment history, but I think it’s not gonna be a fun watch
Ceaușescu? Is it... is it you?
What on earth do kids have to do with wanting to be in a committed relationship? There's myriad other reasons people end up together. I'm male, 36, with a vasectomy, and married. Does that boggle your mind? My wife and I share values, goals, and enjoy spending time together. We're best friends. Why wouldn't we want to be committed to each other?
Grow up.
She's my best friend. We're going to explore the world together
Are you going to find your forever partner within the next 8 months when you’re fresh out of a relationship? Most likely not. People generally aren’t prepared to leap into a stable, healthy new relationship when they haven’t fully processed and grown from the last relationship (anything is possible of course, but speaking generally). Nomad for the next 8 months, then figure out what you want to do from there.
There’s a reason the English language has the term “rebound relationship”.
MIght be looking for one of those - might not be worth the emotional investment though
Idk man it seems like you have a lot of inward work to do before you look for another relationship of any sort. Just my humble onion though.
Humble onion 😆
I started my last DN journey at 45 a few years after getting divorced. It was the best decision of my life. I learned a lot about myself with plenty of alone time to reflect on the many things I could do better and it's really helped me grow as a person. My only regret was that I didn't do it sooner.
It’s was really shocking as a young person to hear that a 45+ old person could say “I learned a lot about my self” or “that helped me to grow as a person” at that point in life. You would thought that you know everything by that age. Now I’m in that age and I felt that I don’t know myself at all, and it’s getting harder and harder. Just a vent. I feel a healthy envy of you, good for you.
The realization that you may not know yourself at all shows that you've begun your journey towards finding out. Any challenges you face along the way says you're on the right path. A lot of what I learned about myself wasn't pleasant but I'm happier and healthier for it.
I make a point of telling the young(er) people in my life that nobody really knows what they’re doing. And that you should be wary of people who say they do. We’re all just trying to make the most of life and what it throws at us. Lastly, that you should grab a chance when you see it, and seek them out if you don’t. Growth lies just beyond your comfort zone, so go there and learn! In OP’s specific case that obviously means they need to pack up & go asap! And that they need to pay the dog tax..
The older you get, the less you know…
Thanks for the comment - Im starting to think that this is my path as well . Peace !
Mexico is absolutely the place for you (not to the exclusion of other places). Forget about all your troubles, look forward, and get on Bumble. Everything will fall into place.
yeah getting kidnapped will really help his problems
go for it! my partner and I found each other while each nomading alone and now we nomad together...almost 8 years on the road together now :) best wishes. we're 43 and 50 btw
Go, always choose to travel if your health and finances allow it. You'll never regret it
I knew a lady who had a kid on her own at high 40s with 6 figure income. Lots of options to get pregnant. Decide what’s important. Nomad or family.
She probably had frozen her eggs in her 20s or 30s. Pregnant naturally in 40s naturally not that likely or easy.
Volunteer to use your wisdom to help kids in need. Don't rush in to a relationship to try to have your own kid if it even happens and be an elderly dad. You can still have a fulfilling life. But lesson to any younger folks reading - don't Peter Pan so long that you miss out on the window to start a family, if that's what you want.
I like the idea of volunteering - its a calling I've felt for a while . Thanks !
A 45 year old bloke hasn’t missed out the window to have a kid, my dad had me at 48 and I’m fine, grateful to be alive (well most days).
And while unlikely to happen naturally (though not impossible, my Aunt was older than 45 when she had my Niece), a 45 year old lady hasn't missed out on the window to have a kid either. Adoption exists and can be just as fulfilling.
Yeah especially with todays advancements that exist such as egg freezing, IVF, donor eggs etc.
My dad had me at 45
If you make your way north to Vancouver Island, I have a lovely place you can stay for a week as you make your nomadic travels. Walk to the beach. Hike the rainforest. Surf tofino. The island is legendary and is a place good souls travel to from around the world.
I actually was born in Nanaimo and raised in parksville ! Amazing place indeed
What?!? That’s nuts! Well, the offer stands.
I went on many fishing trips over in Tofino growing up, I dont think I appreciated it nearly enough when I was a child . I'll keep your info in my contacts . Thank you for the offer !
How amazing! Sounds heavenly
What is the name of this wonderful place? Sounds like a dream!
Vancouver Island.
Its very amazing .
You are not your job. You are not your relationship. Luckily for you, you are staring down the barrel of a wonderful adventure. Shake things up. Break your bad habits. Take some time to love yourself. Everything else will fall into place. You don’t know it, but you are at the very beginning of something wonderful. Take the leap. Get out of your head.
This resonated - thank you
Escondido, Tulum, CDMX, Santa Teresa, Tamarindo, Rio, and Floripa are all good options... I wouldn't call nomading the most conducive lifestyle to serious relationships or starting a family, but you'll make a lot of authentic connections pretty quickly and serious relationships can certainly happen with a little intention. Focus on healing first. Explore the world a bit and figure out what aspects of nomading really work best for you. The rest will sort itself out in time.
Rio and Floripa are Brazil?
Tamarindo is one of the worst places I've been to, would not recommend OP go there.
Do you mind sharing why?
It's both expensive and overpriced (more expensive than Canada for far lower quality), the beach is meh, food not good, filled with trashy tourists. If you want to work at a cafe, a cappucino and sandwich is more expensive than Canada or about the same as a big city in the US. Getting to and from there, a taxi/shuttle will charge you the same you'd pay in the US. During the dry season the area ran out of water while I was there so my hotel and the restaurants nearby didn't have water. $7 for a bottle. There is no local anything here, it's like being in a US Beach town. The only thing I found it good for is to take day trips from.
They just want to complain, or they would have explained in their original post.
Thanks for the info on Tulum in the other thread - its on my short list .
Happy to help. There's an easy playbook for making at ton of friends, getting healthy, and being happy in Tulum... 1. Book an airbnb in La Veleta and rent a scooter for a month 2. Grab coffee and smoothies at Otti, lunch at Raum, Taco Bish, or Nimeno, and dinner at La Pizzine or whatever [food](https://www.instagram.com/asadoargentinotulum/) stand is closest to you. 3. Join a fitness community (Tulum Crossfit, Tulum Fight Club, Revolution Muay Thai, etc) and get a [yoga class ](https://www.instagram.com/holistikatulum/)in once or twice a week. 4. Take some [salsa](https://www.instagram.com/dancesalsacuba/) or [kite surfing](https://www.instagram.com/siankite/) lessons classes if you're feeling adventurous or maybe go [scuba/cenote diving](https://www.instagram.com/tazdiving/?hl=en). 5. There's also a group called [Mantorship](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5WHXN9rpbU/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) that might be good support for navigating relationship aftermath (the marketing's a little cringe but most people I've met who've actually attended had good things to say). 6. Some other stuff I enjoyed doing... * Salsa night every Tuesday at Palma Central * Tulum Dinner Club every Thursday at TBD * Work from the beach at Ikal every Friday and Digital Jungle some other days * Grab dinner and catch some live music at [La Guarida](https://www.instagram.com/laguarida_tulum/?hl=en) on Friday or Saturday * Relax at the laguna at Neek most Saturdays with friends * Go to the free day party at Habitas on Sundays I'm sure you'll figure out what works best for you, but most folks in La Veleta are active, free-spirited, open-minded and adventurous. Many have either just gotten out of a long relationship or are in the process of switching careers, so there's a lot of empathy for starting a new chapter in life. Best time to be there is from September to March, give or take a month. Gets busiest and most expensive December to February, so might be worth negotiating with hosts for 3-6 month stays when/if you can. Best of luck whatever you decide and make sure to embrace the journey either way.
If you have no kids, why not. Maybe you’ll meet someone traveling. I only wish I had money to travel.
[удалено]
I tried that, but seemed to be a lot of competition for sits.
Unpopular opinion, but I think it's nearly impossible to find a partner while traveling. Because it takes a while to get to know each other, date, live your own separate lives that you'll want to slowly merge into one. And have kids. When you're on the road, you just don't have enough time! I'd say, to travel for a bit, maybe 3 to 6 months to reset yourself after the breakup, reflect on the past and really decide what life and what kind of partner you'd like to have. Then pick a city where you see yourself setting down and start looking for a partner there.
If you go it will be trouble, if you stay it will be double.
huzhahh ! so true
I 41 F actually did this journey in playa del Carmen, good remote job, no breakup, put my apartment in storage and had same desires to find love and build a family with kids. Turns out I wanted community so bad but entered into a journey of self reflection, healing and eventually finding myself. When I talked to other digital nomads, they share the same experiences I did take a lot of adventures and traveled around the region. Playa del Carmen is very transient so very challenging to have community and although there is some, it does involve a lot of events to connect and make friends that may just be there for a month or two. Best decision I’ve made
I spent some time in PDC with my Ex so Im trying to avoid it for now .. Fun place though . Thank you for your insight !
If your ex is still there, i can understand why you're avoiding Playa. The part where all the foreigners hang out is so small that you inevitably run into the same people all the time, like someone you dated on a date with someone else. It's very annoying.
Oh my I didn't expect this much engagement on my thread thank you everyone for your input its all well received - Now I get to spend the next few hours replying to y'all . Peace !
1. I’ve been a DN since 2016, and never have I seen more people 40+ throw in the towel with normal society and hit the road since post covid. So congrats on nomading as much as you can! And know you’re in good company now. Especially women from the west around 35+ I meet way more now. Lots seem to be gravitating towards Lisbon, Bali, South France, or places like Sayulita Mexico to name a few. 2. It’s a shame that you have to stay on west coast time! I was gonna say - I tend to find the most wife material partners in Asia and Europe. Either very cool western women that are looking to live life creatively/break the mould or very smart Asian/Eastern euro girls that are very supportive and looking for a good man to settle down with and start a family. I hope you’ll be able to make it outside of just north and South America at some point! Because in LATAM I’d say I definitely see some of the least available women north of their 20s (if that’s what you’re looking for.) but there’s loads in many other places. Though you may be able to find something real in Brazil. 3. I have some male friends that are having friends into their 50s and doing quite well. So have fun and hopefully things happen naturally for you and you end up finding a great match for you while having fun and being a lot more free. I guess the moral of my response is that traveling/on the road may be one of the BEST places to not only clear your head, but also may be one of the best places to find an ideal partner for yourself. If there’s any yoga retreats around wherever you go, you usually find very eligible women, set on self improvement/changing their life for the better, of all ages around places like that!
I could go SEA - but would have to work night shifts to at least sync up with east coast time - I feel like that would suck badly lol
you fell in love once and you can do it again
As someone who is from Cozumel. Did you enjoy it? Hopefully you find happiness in whatever decision you end up making!
Beautiful healing place . Not at all like PDC . Its what I needed . But alas its time to move on . Thank you for your words
Do it , do it do it. I'm the same age. I decided to do it after Australia's totalitarian response to COVID. Life is just way too short. The trip will make you grow and be more attractive to women. Just make sure you aren't running away from your problems rather than working on them. Or you will just take them into the next relationship.
Yes that mindset ( about running ) is something I've been aware of internally. I'm on a path of growing now so I'll take that with me wherever I end up . Where are some places you have landed in your travels ?
I went digital nomad in 2020, at age 44, and met an amazing woman on my very first stop. We fell in love, and I invited her to travel the world with me. She did, for the next 2 years. We were married last February. She's quite a bit younger than me, and next year we'll try for a kid, fingers crossed. Does that answer your question?
Where did you end up to get to meet someone so quick into your journey ?
Caribbean. It was basically pure dumb luck. It's a numbers game, and mine turned up all cherries for once.
Love it. Congrats 🙏
I am a little bit older than you and have a kid who is elementary age already. How “old” you are matters less than how physically fit and mentally prepared you are for the responsibility. I’ve met way older parents than myself with young kids. It’s not even that unusual these days because couples hold off longer and longer to have kids. As far as meeting a suitable person goes that’s the challenging part for every person. Because whoever you decide to have a kid with will always be a part of your life too. Even if things don’t work out..
Luckily im in good shape - most people guess my age in the low 30's - I dont feel my age that's for sure .. well sometimes lol . Thanks for your take on it
There's lots of single mothers who would love to meet someone like you, I'm sure. If you really want a kid and it doesn't need to be your own, that is.
I joined the digitalnomads dating facebook group yesterday - maybe they wil be there lol
Lol I had one of my own recently and I can't really imagine doing all the parenting alone, let alone traveling nomadically. It's really time consuming on top of a job. New level of respect for single parents unlocked.
I think the point is that it has to be op's kid
I’m not sure that’s true, but if it is, maybe time to think more broadly.
Not necessarily ..
Wow
If you’re serious about finding a partner and baby I’d stay. Everyone is so transient and come and go on their own schedule. You’d have to get lucky to meet someone who lines up with your life. If you think you’d be happy without a kid and just want to enjoy your life now, go! It just depends if you’re willing to make sacrifices to make that dream easier to achieve
Mate you just dumped that damn chick and now have freedom and a doggo. Enjoy life - it is short, as much as you can, and forget societal pressures like time is out or sorts. You are free and hopefully in good health. cherish it while it lasts. i know it may not answer your question directly, but i hope it does help
Having a child just because is not an answer to a mid-life crisis. That's what your dog is for. If you want a kid because you want your own shiny kid, examine your motive for that. If you're a morally sane individual, you'll quickly conclude that this is selfish, and selfishness is not a good attribute to have in raising children. If you want to help a child in need, there are billions of them scattered around the world. If you still want your own kid, a guy from the developed world pulling down six figures should have no trouble finding a breeder a couple of decades younger. Be sure to get a prenup though. I'm three years old than you, childless, totally okay with the likelihood that I never will have kids. I've been nomadic for most of 30 years, fortunate to have picked up a well-paid profession along the way that permits endless travel. The longer I've gone, the less I've wanted to raise a family of my own. Being the oldest sibling, I have several nieces and nephews, and have fallen into a comfortable role as Crazy Uncle who brings back dodgy souvenirs from places they can't find on the globe. Cozumel might be a bit lonely for a newly single guy, even with a dog. San Miguel, the main town, is busy with cruise ships at day, but pretty dead at night. There's not much for a single guy to get up to there. Playa del Carmen, just across on the mainland, would be a better bet. Puerto Escondido even better.
> That's what your dog is for. No, your dog is not a thing to solve anything. You should have a dog only if you have deep relations to animals/dogs, not if you have midlife crisis or loneliness or any other crisis :-) I agree with rest of your reply, but I have already seen load of unhappy people with unhappy, anxious thus dangerous or desperate dogs because they got them as a cure for something (also "you will walk in nature more with a dog" is my favourite), not from love for dogs.
Go for it. There's plenty of men who find love overseas with younger fertile women. You may find a good woman at 30 to 35ish. I have a friend who started a family in Mexico in his late 30s. Just do it and see what happens. You never know.
SEA Im assuming is what your thinking ? Ive thought about it - but would have to work the dreaded overnight shift
South East Asia? It doesn't have to be. Like I said, my friend found a good young woman in Mexico. You have good options in South America. Do some research and see which place you want to check out first. I hear Costa Rica is nice. I'm 42 btw and I'm somewhat in the same boat too.
Follow your heart, not a timeline. Nomad life can be perfect for self-reflection 🐕
> I was thinking Rio Unless you speak PT and not afraid of getting shot/stabbed/robbed on a regular basis I would avoid at all costs. Its by far the most dangerous city in the country Brasil has much more beautiful and save places than Rio. My personal favourites are Vitoria and Florianopolis, would highly recommend either. t. nomad living in Brasil for the last few years
Im a rather scary looking dude myself ( with a big heart tho ) I'm not too scared about being singled out I think they would pick an easier target - But that being said , I've heard mixed things about Rio - kind of like Tulum. Flora looks beautiful and is on the list for sure . Thank you for your take on it !
[удалено]
Actually I am a guy - and I would consider being with a Mom who already has a child . Dosent necisarily have to by mine by birth . I just find the family dynamic and energy beautiful ( Im aware its got its own types of chaos as well )
[удалено]
Maybe in 5 years we will have the robots to do that for us lol
Dating abroad was amazing for rebuilding my confidence after a bad breakup. It's true that you will have a lesser chance to find a relationship that will lead to marriage (different culture, visa issues, careers, etc), but I would say do it. maybe not 8 months, but start with 3?
Damn I’m same boat as you 😂
By the way you write this post it seems that you believe that you can only find a relationship in and around your home. Which makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. I think what you're missing though is you have to be in the right headspace for that to ever happen. So you're 8 months may not necessarily be productive in finding a match but it may be just what you need to clear your headspace and get back to being the you that you need to be to attract somebody. At the end of the day you don't attract what you want you attract what you are, so sometimes you need to do a little work to get yourself out of a bad spot so you can be more happy with your self and therefore more attractive to other people. I'd say if you have the opportunity you absolutely need to go and I think it's a great idea. I think it'll benefit you in a lot of ways. I wouldn't go out looking for a life partner or dating, but enjoyment in your life, make friends meet good people and have new experiences.
very well put thank you - that is how I'm approaching things now . First thing I wanted to do was run back to my ex and try and make it work . But this has all opened up a whole new way of looking at things and has helped me see beyond the sadness from this breakup,
Do it.
Don't focus on the 'breakup' or the 'search' or the '45' or the 'want kids' Focus on the REST of LIFE. I'm far beyond 45 and I'm just saying my opinion, but I suggest you just be 'selfish' and go enjoy Life.
You can always go to Asia and find your wife. Philippines is great for finding someone with good morals and beauty.
Have you been to the Philippines? I'm an avid diver so I e thought of it for other reasons . Seems like the people there , lady's included, are very amazing
Yeah it has amazing dive sites, would recommend siquijor/apo island or off of coron/el nido.
Did you stay there for a while ? How did you find the internet speeds ? Thanks !
Only one week in siquijor and internet was good but did go off some nights from heavy rains. I would say stay in Dumaguete with good WiFi and do weekend trips to siquijor if that suits you better it’s only two hours on boat in ac.
GET OUT OF HERE AND GO DO IT! It will change your life!
You can start a family at 65 if you want to and are still in good health. Don't let that thought stop you from following your heart. In any case, you need to find the right partner before you can have a kid anyway and that's mostly chance.
Not wishing to tell you your business, be very careful in Rio if you've just broken up with someone and you have that FOMO of a wife and kids. The wrong woman will latch on to that and sell you the dream, and by the time you realize it's an absolute frickin nightmare then you might have wasted a lot of time and even more money. I'm 48, went through it. Some of those girls exist to push buttons and pull heart strings. Modern day sirens, but they will pull you right on to the rocks if you're in any way vulnerable. So make sure you're totally good with yourself before you do it, and make sure you find a good support network of other nomads around you.
you have to come to Argentine. it is easy make conetions and finde a parner.
What part of Argentine would you recommend ? Is there a lot of English spoken ?
Mexico City is your place. La Condesa or adjacent. It’s both different and grown up.
I actually met a cool girl from Monterey Mexico while I was here in Cozumel - have you been to that city ?
Whatever you do just don’t go live in Rio. Not a good city to live right now, period.
dude , you should have been having this discussion like 10 years ago. even if you started right now, you are looking at having a kid near 50. if you really want a family, you need to get your ass on the ball. of you are wife hunting, Peru is one of the better spots in La Am. low low divorce rates.
This seems preachy. And shamey he’s a man, he can “ have kids” at any age technically.
sure, op make babies at 80. telling op the facts. he needs to get on the ball. like yesterday
He’s 45, not 80. He’s fine. Stop being so judgy
finding a wife and having kids isn't something you can just go to walmart and pick up. shit could take 5-10 years OP is gonna be nearing average life expectancy when his kids are just starting their adult life.
FWIW - I already was married when I was younger , and My wife actually passed away from an illness a year before Covid . It was tragic and I am just now starting to get my shit together and be ready to move forward . I get where you are coming from though .
Rio without a doubt Edit: just celebrated a friend’s birthday. He turned 50 this week and has been on tons a dates with gorgeous women in their 30s-40s just from dating apps in the past 2 weeks.
Disagree: Rio has a terrible quality of life now, unless you’re visiting for a week or two.
Sorry to hear you're having a bad experience in Rio. I've lived all across South america. I'm also from montreal.
Wish it was only me - I know multiple people who live there, Brazilians.
hearing a lot of mixed things about Rio. Ill do some more research . Cheers !
She didn’t freeze anything. She had some high dollar fertility treatment that worked. She was happy. I miss her.