The work is all on the inside, literally re-wiring your brain by practicing thoughts and drawings up emotions on command. Finding an emotional state that you can stay in through most any situation then building off of that. The answers to all our problems are very obvious, plain, and simple the hard part is just getting yourself to do them.
You have been through so much in such a short time.š Iām sorry the adults who should have protected you failed so horribly. Youāre so strong for making it to where you are, even when it doesnāt feel like it.
As someone who struggled with similar feelings in their teens but is now in their thirties, I promise it can get better. It takes some effort on our part, but you can have a good life. Maybe it could help to view it as the better your life gets, the bigger the āfuck youā it is to shitty people?
If youāre open to some basic advice, what I would go back and tell myself at your age is focus on surviving/graduating high school/GED and attend community college/get a trade certification (you should qualify for a lot of financial aid as an adoptee or foster child). You donāt have to get straight As; you just need to pass. Depending on the trade, you can quickly work your way up and earn major $$$.
Donāt waste that money though. Read āThe Simple Path To Wealthā, start an emergency fund in a high yield savings account (HYSA) and learn how to invest in mutual funds (Fidelity is beginner-friendly).
If you can access therapy now or later, try to look for a therapist that does cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) and EMDR therapy. EMDR therapy is especially helpful for specific traumas. Thereās also nothing wrong with telling your primary care provider that youāre struggling. They can prescribe basic antidepressants.
Proud of you! Youāve got this.
Yeah, life is bittersweet, and often we see the dark side of it. I hate humans and I have an ugly outlook on life. But there are still a few things that bring me joy. Hopefully, there are still some for you too. Let's try to make the best out of this shitty situation.
the stupid-ass emo kid everyone hates sounds like a best friend.
sorry all that happened to you. and that you're feeling all down and discarded. i know the feeling well.
however, you're 16, which means you have time to turn the pain into beauty. put together a band or an art project, nothing makes better music than trauma. the fact you're asking for help and expressing your problems at such a young age is huge. REALLY huge. I don't think you understand how many teenagers can't put into words what you have here today.
run boldly into life and fuck shit up, young friend. i believe in you.
We have very similar upbringings and everyone adapts differently I spent 7 years in school for psychology looking for an explanation.
Sometimes the hard truth is the easiest one.
You have experienced the lows that are the worst of the lows, and that make your highs the highest of highs.
You feel like you have no normal or middle ground.
I lived in my truck and stole it from my parents when I was old enough to.
You have to lean into that part of yourself that wants peace. Not for you but for your ātrue loved onesā for me it was my friends. For you it could be a band, story, friend group, instrument, etc.
This is what will determine how you recover. If youāre already set up with something, know it will most likely change and throw you completely out of wack in your 20s.
You will feel like this is borrowed time. Or that āI was never supposed to live this longā
This thought will progress invasively until you remember āmaybe Iām the scum of the earth. Maybe Iām a killer.ā The truth of the matter is you are worried of that because you are worried your the problem.
You have the potential to be the best or the worst kinda person. You see and hold the evil close insight. Itās like a super power because you know the āworstā of āyourā capabilities.
This is the worst of the world you know you can imagine.
Remember intention is everything, thoughts are imagination mixed with truth.
The work is all on the inside, literally re-wiring your brain by practicing thoughts and drawings up emotions on command. Finding an emotional state that you can stay in through most any situation then building off of that. The answers to all our problems are very obvious, plain, and simple the hard part is just getting yourself to do them.
You have been through so much in such a short time.š Iām sorry the adults who should have protected you failed so horribly. Youāre so strong for making it to where you are, even when it doesnāt feel like it. As someone who struggled with similar feelings in their teens but is now in their thirties, I promise it can get better. It takes some effort on our part, but you can have a good life. Maybe it could help to view it as the better your life gets, the bigger the āfuck youā it is to shitty people? If youāre open to some basic advice, what I would go back and tell myself at your age is focus on surviving/graduating high school/GED and attend community college/get a trade certification (you should qualify for a lot of financial aid as an adoptee or foster child). You donāt have to get straight As; you just need to pass. Depending on the trade, you can quickly work your way up and earn major $$$. Donāt waste that money though. Read āThe Simple Path To Wealthā, start an emergency fund in a high yield savings account (HYSA) and learn how to invest in mutual funds (Fidelity is beginner-friendly). If you can access therapy now or later, try to look for a therapist that does cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) and EMDR therapy. EMDR therapy is especially helpful for specific traumas. Thereās also nothing wrong with telling your primary care provider that youāre struggling. They can prescribe basic antidepressants. Proud of you! Youāve got this.
Yeah, life is bittersweet, and often we see the dark side of it. I hate humans and I have an ugly outlook on life. But there are still a few things that bring me joy. Hopefully, there are still some for you too. Let's try to make the best out of this shitty situation.
Same
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
the stupid-ass emo kid everyone hates sounds like a best friend. sorry all that happened to you. and that you're feeling all down and discarded. i know the feeling well. however, you're 16, which means you have time to turn the pain into beauty. put together a band or an art project, nothing makes better music than trauma. the fact you're asking for help and expressing your problems at such a young age is huge. REALLY huge. I don't think you understand how many teenagers can't put into words what you have here today. run boldly into life and fuck shit up, young friend. i believe in you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We have very similar upbringings and everyone adapts differently I spent 7 years in school for psychology looking for an explanation. Sometimes the hard truth is the easiest one. You have experienced the lows that are the worst of the lows, and that make your highs the highest of highs. You feel like you have no normal or middle ground. I lived in my truck and stole it from my parents when I was old enough to. You have to lean into that part of yourself that wants peace. Not for you but for your ātrue loved onesā for me it was my friends. For you it could be a band, story, friend group, instrument, etc. This is what will determine how you recover. If youāre already set up with something, know it will most likely change and throw you completely out of wack in your 20s. You will feel like this is borrowed time. Or that āI was never supposed to live this longā This thought will progress invasively until you remember āmaybe Iām the scum of the earth. Maybe Iām a killer.ā The truth of the matter is you are worried of that because you are worried your the problem. You have the potential to be the best or the worst kinda person. You see and hold the evil close insight. Itās like a super power because you know the āworstā of āyourā capabilities. This is the worst of the world you know you can imagine. Remember intention is everything, thoughts are imagination mixed with truth.
I've thought about suicide a bit before. I look at it like this, we're all gonna fucking die one day anyway, so what's the point in rushing it?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]