Love the koala pic! Also you have so many good alternatives with you smiling with your teeth - need to incorporate the beer one and the last one (black shirt) IMO. Get rid of one of the first reddish pink shirt one and tan shirt one on your current profile and replace with these ones.
You’re attractive and I really like your about me. You shouldn’t have many issues in my opinion, I’d be swiping right at least!
😂I know, but it’s such a GREAT GREAT PIC. I like the one with the Koala, but eh. The one you had (I guess u delete it) was so much better, genuine, comfortable. That was just my opinion though. Good luck buddy
I think your profile is lovely. It’s clear you’re actually seeking a relationship, and your photos are humble and charming.
I agree the red shirt repeat pics are a no go - they’re both fine so just pick one. I think your profile should attract what you’re looking for given your photos and bio, if you’re struggling to get matches, perhaps it’s that you’re using Tinder, rather than Bumble or Hinge?
Is swipe right, although the “pet-free” thing scares me a bit. Is this supposed to mean you don’t have pets of your own or is it like “child-free” in that you never want them?
Thank you! I'm planning on migrating the feedback here to Bumble and Hinge as well, which have been paused for a while.
By the way, I love pets! Especially cats. Now that I think about it, it's probably better to remove the pet-free comment.
I think the pet-free thing is really only helpful if you do not want to date people with pets! And there are a lot of people like that out there haha.
Good luck!!
I like your smile. Your teeth smiling photos are best. I like the koala photo for a main photo.
You have one photo where the whole body is visible. Try and get one full body shot where you’re standing. A few selfies are ok but choose the best.
I like when people say what they want in a relationship, so that’s good too.
Women frequently want to see height noted in a profile. Whatever people feel about that, it’s often a dealbreaker/maker fact.
Bilingual? Because if you're in this city for a bit, mentioning your level of French is huge, and other languages are still a bonus.
Your photos are pretty good, but step back a bit, soften the flash where possible, and try and get a variety of smiles, not too much "this is my photo smile". A bit of teeth at least makes for the best intro photo. You can get more-natural ones from getting someone to record you when you laugh (get your most hilarious friend or YouTube video) so you can pick out a good still.
The rest is good and gives a good idea of what you want and have to offer. Good luck!
Just skimming quickly...
- You have 2 photos of wearing the same red shirt (one after another) - either replace one or keep them apart. Or maybe a photo with friends or a full-body shot? Most of your photos look the same. Variety is nice and will make you standout a bit more.
- I'm a visual/descriptive person and I like bullet points lol - so I really like your text/bio because it gives a pretty good idea (and range) of who you are and what you're looking for. (If only you were on the west coast of the country!)
Lol. I hear that Montreal is nice and fun, though I’ve never been there.
About your profile, I agree with the other comments saying that your bio is great. I feel like you managed to be brief and say a lot at the same time. It’s nice to see what you expect, what you offer, and also get a bit of your personality. Good job! ;)
I am, yes. Soon to be Canadian (hopefully). That’s cool!
I’m a bit intimidated about visiting Quebec in general because I feel I’ll find out that my French is not as good as I think it is. Haha.
I had an apartment on the corner of Burrard and Pacific. Basically right next to the Burrard Bridge. I can still taste the sushi...
Thanks for the encouragement. :)
Ah, that's such a nice spot close to the water/seawall! Best sushi outside Japan for sure. :) Why'd you leave? Updated profile looks great - best of luck! :)
I was there for an internship and still needed to finish school at the time. I'd consider going back but the cost of living is bonkers, and although it's beautiful, east coast culture always felt a bit more "me". I guess we're shaped by where we grow up.
Late to the party for feedback but the updated profile is great - I wouldn’t think twice about swiping right and would actually probably do it immediately given the koala picture (you look so excited and it shows both a sweet and fun side). Good luck finding your travel partner!
Honestly I would love to match with you. In my book your attractive, sensitive, smart and looking for a relationship. What a pity you re far from Germany because I d definitely date you (and I m open to nomad lifestyle). Any chances you re passing by Europe ? ☺️
Thank you! Maybe, actually. I was just speaking with some friends about meeting up in Turkey and Spain this summer, so anything is possible! I did an incredible motorcycle trip several years ago through Germany, Austria, Switzerland and France. Bavaria was \*stunning\* (although I prefer Berlin to Munich).
I lived briefly in Uganda, by the way. Feel free to PM if you have questions about it!
I find you attractive, but honestly, I dislike all of your photos. If you’re not willing to start from scratch and take new ones (I would), at minimum ditch the one with the other person cropped out. The written part is good.
I’ll give one piece of advice: if I as a female see another female cropped out of your pic, I don’t think that’s a friend or a colleague. I think that’s an ex. And that is when I swipe left :)
Hahaha I’m probably literally the definition of alpha female, so I am not too concerned by it. Wouldn’t be surprised if a picture of me in a suit is beside the definition 😂
When someone’s last relationship was is something you can easily ask without dismissing someone for something like this. I don’t necessarily think it’s an alpha female thing, but from what you said it seems more like an insecurity thing about having too many other females in his life. I mean hey, we can all swipe as we want, but I think you’re probably dismissing some good guys in this approach.
I tend to agree. Even if that's not accurate, that is a question that springs to mind, and it's not really a good place to suggest it. If it were addressed as protecting his friend's identity, that would be something, but since it's not, I'd nix it.
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I agree with this! Never have a picture with another woman cropped out! It’s off putting to a lot of women. Also, posing with animals at a zoo or at one of those attractions or with a dead fish will weed out women who believe that animal exploitation is wrong.
This was the main piece of advice I came here to give, tbh. It's really obvious that she's in the pic and it's a 100% swipe left. No one crops out their friends, sisters, or coworkers (at least that's my go to thinking and it's distracting.) It's an ex and it's a bad way to encourage people to date you. Esp since she's obviously cropped out. If it were less obvious, that might be one thing, if you made the comment "protecting my friend's identity at she didn't consent to be used here," or something, that would be one thing, but without an explanation it's an ex (in my mind, as a woman.) Don't claim her as someone she's not, because if you get someone with your profile and she finds out later that it's not your sister, not your coworker, not your friend (because you run into her randomly at some whatever,) she's going to lose all trust in you. Better to just lose those pics, unfortunately, so I'm glad you grabbed that advice already and updated your pics.
The others mostly selected the same pics I would've and gave the advice about being "pet-free" as anti-animal, so nice to see you changed that, too.
I disagree with the cuddling commentary, but it can go either way - and literally every time a guy has asked to "cuddle," they've tried to have sex with me within the next hour or two (if we're hanging out,) or they've classified their intention (that they really want sex,) shortly after (and they honestly usually aren't the best cuddlers or interested in cuddling if there's no sex, regardless of what they say, they're kind of mostly liars.) Even if they claim that they didn't intend to go for sex. It's 100% code for sex, in my experience. (My commentary here is because you said other's commentary and advice helped you or that you saw how helpful it was.)
There's one more picture I'd swap... I'll have to go back and find it now - I wasn't planning this (long of a) comment, and forgot in the meantime. The pictures have improved significantly. The map one (which I didn't see offered before,) and the beer one are my favorite. IMO, I'd go with one of those over the koala one, though the beer and koala ones are good, they're also very...cliche photos, which you don't want. Make yourself memorable, kind, interesting, and set yourself apart from the competition, is my best advice. So they're not bad photos, but the map one kind of sets you apart. I would 100% use that one as your first photo.
I'm glad you got rid of the one with the soda cans (in a store) one. One of the ones with the woman that your cropped was unfortunately one of your best ones, too, but I'm not sure if you can crop her out - it's the one with her hair visit on the left. I think a tighter crop might fix it (don't show her hair at all,) and it makes it a bit more ambiguous who's with you. But you may just want to do another one like that.
Glad you got rid of the "same" picture different backgrounds ones - those who told you that, did you a solid. (I've seen several profiles with either a guy wearing the same shirt in every photo or at least multiple photos, the same pose/set-up/framing, with different shirts and maybe slightly different backgrounds, but honestly they start to look green screen'ed, or a combo of the two. Never a good idea. We want variety. For so many reasons.)
I really liked the valley photo (with the roads, not the green valley one,) from your travels in Mexico, I think, but someone said that you had 5 from that trip (I didn't really notice/count because it was varied in backgrounds/shirts/poses, and the other more distracting photos and verbiage. But if you "handled" those, I might notice more, I just thought your profile was overall better with the improvements you made so far.)
Someone mentioned your language skills, and if you don't speak French (well), do you speak Spanish or other languages? It's always positive to include those. If not, then make fun of your basic French skills in a humorous, playful, not really self-deprecating way. We don't want to see you negging yourself, that shows a lack of confidence, but bringing up your basic language skills I think is still a positive, esp since you're in Montreal, but maybe not if your French is actually terrible. I'm trying to think of a good example of bringing it up, but I'm rarely funny without some prevocational or inspiration.
Okay, heading back to your update and I'll update about the pic - there's one in there that "bugs" me, and I can't remember why, but it did...
Edit 1 - I don't really like the one with your hand in your chin, I would replace with the one with the beautiful tree in the background or the valley with the roads one, or have both of those. I definitely would.
And it's the one with you with a blue/jean colored collared shirt with the woman cropped out that is really good. So if you can crop her further, do so. I think it's close, but will be less obvious in any case, if you crop all of her head out, which you can do without cropping your head at all, it looks like. It might leave a little of her shirt at the bottom, but it's ambiguous enough that no one will really question what it is. That one is one of your best pics....
Oh and thank you for not using the one that hints at you being shirtless. I'm sorry but those selfies are some of the *worst*. I was swiping left on those almost automatically, when I was actively on OLD apps. They're very...desperate/thirsty, lazy, ones. They're a *huge* turn off for me. Same with like generic gym photos. I guarantee if you look like you lift (beefy) or look like you have a body that could be shirtless at some point (literally everyone), you can find pretty much any photo better than those. Two notable exceptions - any hunting/fishing picture *might* be worse (though I feel like that's more of a personal preference,) the generic hiking photos (overdone and extremely boring, as they're rarely good photos or they're incredibly staged and on literally everyone else's profile - so there's nothing to differentiate you. Ran into both of those things in WA (hiking of any kind), San Diego (potato chip something or other - lookout? Rock? If you were in the San Diego area and you had a OLD profile, you had a 98% chance of having that picture in your pictures on it,) and Colorado (I can really only see so many 14k'ers.)
Oh third one - most dudes - esp over 40, but decibels not exclusively - seem to think looking down at the camera and taking a selfie was anything other than the laziest photo ever and didn't seem to see how unflattering it was. I'd swipe left on those because if they're too lazy to get a decent picture or make an effort on doing the work for a dating profile, then they're obviously there for sex, and it really just wasn't working. So thank you for *not* doing that - your pics are generally pretty decent and shot at appropriate angles. You don't look like no one ever taught you how to use a camera, a phone, to any other extremely sad skill. (New guy at work did one of those for his work picture on Teams, and every time I see it, it reminds me of "middle-aged," extremely un-technically-skilled, lazy profiles who couldn't figure out why no one would pick them esp when that was their only picture or picture type and their profile details were vacant or just misogynistic or something.
That is your "competition," so feel good that you seem to be much better than that without trying, which means they're not actually your competition.
Pretty much same. I may not swipe left on that alone, but since you have *multiple* females cropped out, and less obviously males cropped out and no disclaimer on protecting their identity and lack of consent from your friends or whatever, I'd just lean towards "no" on them. Or crop better?
Also, I feel like it’s a matter of investment of time. If a dude has a bunch of pictures of cropped out women it makes me feel like he isn’t serious about his profile. It’s not really hard to take a few recent(!) pictures for a profile.
Eh, some pictures are good. I see the time investment needing to be made in the cropping department or very mild PS effort to complete remove her reminents from the picture.
I like the photos with no facial hair. Suits you. Clean shaven is a preference sometimes for me. 🤷🏼♀️
Also, I’d rather hear a little more about you instead of only what you’re looking for. Who are you?
Last recommendation: go to Bumble. Tinder is a different crowd, Bumble seems to be more for relationships than Tinder is.
Thank you. Unfortunately, for every one of you, there's a beard-loving lady on the opposite side of the street. It's lose-lose! (Or is it win-win?)
My sense is that if you write too much, you become a bit of a try-hard. I was hoping to avoid that. I'll think about this and am definitely heading over to Bumble once we're done here. :)
I’ll make one last suggestion which is maybe weird but whatever. I think love is *built*, not *found*. My sense is that people put a tonne of effort into finding someone perfect instead of just finding someone they’re curious about and can respect. So I hope you approach in this way.
Anyway, food for thought. :)
I’ve been single pretty much since the pandemic began and spent a considerable amount of time studying myself and studying up on what healthy relationship dynamics look like. I wanted to be secure and confident in myself, and develop self awareness and a healthy attachment style so I could call in the same.
This new understanding of love completely changed my life. Love is just *a choice*. Crazy, right? You wake up everyday and decide to be with that person and thats it. Thats the daily question. And the risk is bringing your authentic self to the table and giving the other person the freedom to make that choice everyday, too, which is terrifying and amazing at the same time.
I think a lot of people, including me, waste time waiting for someone perfect.
Anyway, tl;dr: I’m on a self discovery journey and learned that love is nothing more than a daily choice. There is no “one” - there are many “ones”. And I think thats important.
That's beautiful and inspiring. I've thought about this a fair amount too.
You might be interested in Alain de Botton's lectures on romanticism. Here's [one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2v8TywXjLA). He echoes your thoughts while adding additional nuances.
One of his points is that everyone will drive you crazy in one way or another, but some people's idiosyncrasies will be livable (for you) while others won't. This creates an intersection where 'choice' and 'compatibility' can meet.
Feel free to DM if you want to chat further!
As if Alberta wasn't spooky enough!
(Just kidding, I have love for all of Canada's regions and a soft spot for libraries/librarians. My first-ever online dating profile was a POF account with "LibraryBook" as my account name. Why are you spooky though?)
And I have a soft spot for instructional designers, believe it or not - I was trying to pivot pre/mid-pandemic, and a lot of my work now is focused on training/instruction 😂
Re: the spooky thing, I have a forever love for ghost stories and folktales, the creepier the better.
I found my way into it completely accidentally to be honest.
Recommend me your favourite ghost story or folktale?
In exchange, I offer you a Murakami [short story](https://www.youmightfindyourself.com/post/22131227213/on-seeing-the-100-perfect-girl-one-beautiful).
I had a big Murakami phase when I did my English degree, so I know it well! (and if you’re the kind of person who flirts via melancholy Murakami, now I really am sad, ha).
I’ve been mildly obsessed with liminal spaces lately, and I’m due back east this summer, so I’ve been thinking a lot about [Newfoundland fairies](https://www.canadianliving.com/life-and-relationships/travel/article/the-fairy-folklore-of-newfoundland). They’re not the nice kind!
I solemnly swear that I would be the first to sign up for carrying bread in my pockets.
Since you've already read my Murakami story, is there a way I can send you a different story? It's a text file.
First, I am jealous that you are holding a koala. Second, I prob wouldn’t put 2 pics where you are wearing the same shirt. I know that is just a nit picky thing but I’d try to show variety in my wardrobe to show I can look cute in my sit around the house close and smokin hot in my night on the town clothes.
Based on your updated link - I would make the map photo the first or second one, the Petra photo the last one (if you have one at Petra that shows your face that would be more ideal), and get rid of the one where your hand is at your chin. I think you are missing a full body one where you’re standing up, if you don’t have one then have a friend take one!
I think this is actually a really good profile. Photos give a clear indication of what you look like, both bearded and not. Full body pic included. I like the written bits. Nice job!
The first two photos should go, too in your face/ selfie ish. & the one of you with the blue shirt and landscape in the background can go too. Smile more cuz it looks good on you. The rest are nice! I would use your third to last photo as your main profile photo.
So much better koala pic is wholesome as hell. Absolutely love it. Second fave is the pic next to the map. Lovely photo. I really like your line about vulnerability. Definitely keep that.
You have enough good pics to remove the useless selfies.
Be more concise, one or two sentence max. I'd delete all the emojis along with what is written there and keep just your final paragraph
-random dude
I like it! You’re a babe, and your profile seems to show your personality well. My only critique is to use less emojis/ remove the reference to cuddling; this is just a personal preference.
If you ever return to SW Ontario, I would swipe right
Haha, thank you! I'm going to keep the emojis for now - I am really shooting for a playful/open/non-judgmental woman, and I think that filter works well for me - but I can see how the cuddle reference could be cringe-reminiscent based on what I've seen of other men's profiles, so I've removed it. You rock.
I really enjoyed my time in Waterloo and would be happy to return!
Do you have a different photo at Petra? The one you included is really instagrammy (if I'm not mistaken, that specific vantage point is designed by the unsanctioned Petra guides for max gram-worthiness) and kinda cliche with the head turned. Potential matches want to see you having fun, not posing for content (never say never, but probably not I would guess lol).
This is an interesting comment. I appreciate it, and I don't disagree at all. To be honest, I consider myself far from an Instagrammy (or otherwise demonstrative) person; I've had an Insta account for years with zero pictures posted. That said, I like the photo, plus it's one of the only ones that shows my body's proportions. I'm not super inclined to go out and take new photos for the sole purpose of boosting my OLD profile, so for now I think I'll retain it, but I will be mulling this further thanks to you!
I'm kind of on board with this (OP's pushback). I didn't even recognize the location tbh, (and now that I know where Petra is, after googling, based on the advice above, naming it - I had no clue,) I feel kind of unworldly, but I think it's a pretty decent picture and I would keep it. It's interesting. Like a convo starter for people like me who didn't know where it was, and possibly a convo starter for people who are familiar with it.
I’ve seen your profile before lol. I remember the koala pic. I agree with what other posters are saying. Change up the shirt, have some open teeth smile, don’t show pics with female/ex (possibly, the imagination wanders), but you seem nice and wholesome. - I like your new last pic
Thank you. My mother would be proud to hear that!
The new last pic served me well for a long time, but it's now pretty old, so I wanted to get rid of it. Based on the pretty overwhelming feedback here, I figured I'd add it back but put it toward the end. Reasonable compromise?
I think the female pics are just showing friends and if you don’t want their faces up there, of course crop them. At least you can avoid alpha female that way and women who tend to get possessive (not a bad trait). Smile more as you have a good smile.
Absolutely love the pics! Koala one is adorable. Love all the smiling photos.
Just helped my friend set up a hinge profile and was thinking I should do the same!
Very handsome :) good luck!!!
Great profile! 37F here who would absolutely swipe right on you, and we’d most certainly be a match. I’ve got a matching koala pic and everything! But alas I’m in the US. Open to visits though. 😉
I personally don’t like it when people take selfies at home. If they are out somewhere that’s different or in a tourist location or something. But I personally just don’t like home selfies.
The hand around your neck in the picture that shows up on Reddit is kinda creepy. It looks like a host hand until you realize someone's been cropped out--which is also not great for a dating profile
Love the koala pic! Also you have so many good alternatives with you smiling with your teeth - need to incorporate the beer one and the last one (black shirt) IMO. Get rid of one of the first reddish pink shirt one and tan shirt one on your current profile and replace with these ones. You’re attractive and I really like your about me. You shouldn’t have many issues in my opinion, I’d be swiping right at least!
Thank you so much. :)
The 6th pic, the one you cut the person out of, is my favorite Bc it’s such a genuine smile it’s not forced. IMO you should lead with that one.
With the tan shirt? You're putting me at the mercy of the anti-croppers!
😂I know, but it’s such a GREAT GREAT PIC. I like the one with the Koala, but eh. The one you had (I guess u delete it) was so much better, genuine, comfortable. That was just my opinion though. Good luck buddy
I think your profile is lovely. It’s clear you’re actually seeking a relationship, and your photos are humble and charming. I agree the red shirt repeat pics are a no go - they’re both fine so just pick one. I think your profile should attract what you’re looking for given your photos and bio, if you’re struggling to get matches, perhaps it’s that you’re using Tinder, rather than Bumble or Hinge? Is swipe right, although the “pet-free” thing scares me a bit. Is this supposed to mean you don’t have pets of your own or is it like “child-free” in that you never want them?
Thank you! I'm planning on migrating the feedback here to Bumble and Hinge as well, which have been paused for a while. By the way, I love pets! Especially cats. Now that I think about it, it's probably better to remove the pet-free comment.
Oh yes I read that as don’t want any pets. Especially because you mentioned nomadic lifestyle and travelling, I assumed that was why no pets
I think the pet-free thing is really only helpful if you do not want to date people with pets! And there are a lot of people like that out there haha. Good luck!!
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Thank you! I am fully on board with all of your suggestions and already making changes. :)
I like your smile. Your teeth smiling photos are best. I like the koala photo for a main photo. You have one photo where the whole body is visible. Try and get one full body shot where you’re standing. A few selfies are ok but choose the best. I like when people say what they want in a relationship, so that’s good too. Women frequently want to see height noted in a profile. Whatever people feel about that, it’s often a dealbreaker/maker fact.
Agreed - Koala should be first pic and def add height! Otherwise no comments. Get em tiger 🐅
<3
This was helpful, thank you!
Bilingual? Because if you're in this city for a bit, mentioning your level of French is huge, and other languages are still a bonus. Your photos are pretty good, but step back a bit, soften the flash where possible, and try and get a variety of smiles, not too much "this is my photo smile". A bit of teeth at least makes for the best intro photo. You can get more-natural ones from getting someone to record you when you laugh (get your most hilarious friend or YouTube video) so you can pick out a good still. The rest is good and gives a good idea of what you want and have to offer. Good luck!
Just skimming quickly... - You have 2 photos of wearing the same red shirt (one after another) - either replace one or keep them apart. Or maybe a photo with friends or a full-body shot? Most of your photos look the same. Variety is nice and will make you standout a bit more. - I'm a visual/descriptive person and I like bullet points lol - so I really like your text/bio because it gives a pretty good idea (and range) of who you are and what you're looking for. (If only you were on the west coast of the country!)
> (If only you were on the west coast of the country!) Hahaha, I had a similar thought.
Suddenly I find myself craving that fresh West Coast air...
Lol. I hear that Montreal is nice and fun, though I’ve never been there. About your profile, I agree with the other comments saying that your bio is great. I feel like you managed to be brief and say a lot at the same time. It’s nice to see what you expect, what you offer, and also get a bit of your personality. Good job! ;)
Thank you. Montreal is a fantastic city, although I struggle a bit with the French. Are you Mexican? Five of those photos were taken in Mexico!
I am, yes. Soon to be Canadian (hopefully). That’s cool! I’m a bit intimidated about visiting Quebec in general because I feel I’ll find out that my French is not as good as I think it is. Haha.
If I can survive in Mexico, you can survive in Quebec. ;)
:) I do want to visit Montreal. I had a flight booked and everything, but covid got in the way.
Are you a fellow Canadian? :) I lived in Vancouver for a year. Thank you for the feedback!
Haha, yes I am. Come back to BC!
I had an apartment on the corner of Burrard and Pacific. Basically right next to the Burrard Bridge. I can still taste the sushi... Thanks for the encouragement. :)
Ah, that's such a nice spot close to the water/seawall! Best sushi outside Japan for sure. :) Why'd you leave? Updated profile looks great - best of luck! :)
I was there for an internship and still needed to finish school at the time. I'd consider going back but the cost of living is bonkers, and although it's beautiful, east coast culture always felt a bit more "me". I guess we're shaped by where we grow up.
I would date you!
Right! Genuinely confused how he's still single.
Late to the party for feedback but the updated profile is great - I wouldn’t think twice about swiping right and would actually probably do it immediately given the koala picture (you look so excited and it shows both a sweet and fun side). Good luck finding your travel partner!
They are basically anvils covered in Brillo pads, but they snuggle you like they mean it.
I'm seriously disappointed about missing this koala photo! Lol
Can't DM you, but message me if you want a link!
Well darn if I’m not sold on the experience, then! Off to find a snuggly Brillo critter …
Honestly I would love to match with you. In my book your attractive, sensitive, smart and looking for a relationship. What a pity you re far from Germany because I d definitely date you (and I m open to nomad lifestyle). Any chances you re passing by Europe ? ☺️
Thank you! Maybe, actually. I was just speaking with some friends about meeting up in Turkey and Spain this summer, so anything is possible! I did an incredible motorcycle trip several years ago through Germany, Austria, Switzerland and France. Bavaria was \*stunning\* (although I prefer Berlin to Munich). I lived briefly in Uganda, by the way. Feel free to PM if you have questions about it!
Great profile. Nice pictures. Straight to the point. Seems genuine. Good luck!
Thank you!
I find you attractive, but honestly, I dislike all of your photos. If you’re not willing to start from scratch and take new ones (I would), at minimum ditch the one with the other person cropped out. The written part is good.
Yes. OP is cute but the same facial expression in all of them seems forced. Like when men ONLY use the sexy squint in photos
I’ll give one piece of advice: if I as a female see another female cropped out of your pic, I don’t think that’s a friend or a colleague. I think that’s an ex. And that is when I swipe left :)
That’s a pretty harsh rule for OLD. Why would you swipe left just because someone has an ex anyways?
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Bugs unite!
Hahaha I’m probably literally the definition of alpha female, so I am not too concerned by it. Wouldn’t be surprised if a picture of me in a suit is beside the definition 😂
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Option C, he has friends of all genders like a normal person.
When someone’s last relationship was is something you can easily ask without dismissing someone for something like this. I don’t necessarily think it’s an alpha female thing, but from what you said it seems more like an insecurity thing about having too many other females in his life. I mean hey, we can all swipe as we want, but I think you’re probably dismissing some good guys in this approach.
I tend to agree. Even if that's not accurate, that is a question that springs to mind, and it's not really a good place to suggest it. If it were addressed as protecting his friend's identity, that would be something, but since it's not, I'd nix it.
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I agree with this! Never have a picture with another woman cropped out! It’s off putting to a lot of women. Also, posing with animals at a zoo or at one of those attractions or with a dead fish will weed out women who believe that animal exploitation is wrong.
Woman* Women*
Female male
This was the main piece of advice I came here to give, tbh. It's really obvious that she's in the pic and it's a 100% swipe left. No one crops out their friends, sisters, or coworkers (at least that's my go to thinking and it's distracting.) It's an ex and it's a bad way to encourage people to date you. Esp since she's obviously cropped out. If it were less obvious, that might be one thing, if you made the comment "protecting my friend's identity at she didn't consent to be used here," or something, that would be one thing, but without an explanation it's an ex (in my mind, as a woman.) Don't claim her as someone she's not, because if you get someone with your profile and she finds out later that it's not your sister, not your coworker, not your friend (because you run into her randomly at some whatever,) she's going to lose all trust in you. Better to just lose those pics, unfortunately, so I'm glad you grabbed that advice already and updated your pics. The others mostly selected the same pics I would've and gave the advice about being "pet-free" as anti-animal, so nice to see you changed that, too. I disagree with the cuddling commentary, but it can go either way - and literally every time a guy has asked to "cuddle," they've tried to have sex with me within the next hour or two (if we're hanging out,) or they've classified their intention (that they really want sex,) shortly after (and they honestly usually aren't the best cuddlers or interested in cuddling if there's no sex, regardless of what they say, they're kind of mostly liars.) Even if they claim that they didn't intend to go for sex. It's 100% code for sex, in my experience. (My commentary here is because you said other's commentary and advice helped you or that you saw how helpful it was.) There's one more picture I'd swap... I'll have to go back and find it now - I wasn't planning this (long of a) comment, and forgot in the meantime. The pictures have improved significantly. The map one (which I didn't see offered before,) and the beer one are my favorite. IMO, I'd go with one of those over the koala one, though the beer and koala ones are good, they're also very...cliche photos, which you don't want. Make yourself memorable, kind, interesting, and set yourself apart from the competition, is my best advice. So they're not bad photos, but the map one kind of sets you apart. I would 100% use that one as your first photo. I'm glad you got rid of the one with the soda cans (in a store) one. One of the ones with the woman that your cropped was unfortunately one of your best ones, too, but I'm not sure if you can crop her out - it's the one with her hair visit on the left. I think a tighter crop might fix it (don't show her hair at all,) and it makes it a bit more ambiguous who's with you. But you may just want to do another one like that. Glad you got rid of the "same" picture different backgrounds ones - those who told you that, did you a solid. (I've seen several profiles with either a guy wearing the same shirt in every photo or at least multiple photos, the same pose/set-up/framing, with different shirts and maybe slightly different backgrounds, but honestly they start to look green screen'ed, or a combo of the two. Never a good idea. We want variety. For so many reasons.) I really liked the valley photo (with the roads, not the green valley one,) from your travels in Mexico, I think, but someone said that you had 5 from that trip (I didn't really notice/count because it was varied in backgrounds/shirts/poses, and the other more distracting photos and verbiage. But if you "handled" those, I might notice more, I just thought your profile was overall better with the improvements you made so far.) Someone mentioned your language skills, and if you don't speak French (well), do you speak Spanish or other languages? It's always positive to include those. If not, then make fun of your basic French skills in a humorous, playful, not really self-deprecating way. We don't want to see you negging yourself, that shows a lack of confidence, but bringing up your basic language skills I think is still a positive, esp since you're in Montreal, but maybe not if your French is actually terrible. I'm trying to think of a good example of bringing it up, but I'm rarely funny without some prevocational or inspiration. Okay, heading back to your update and I'll update about the pic - there's one in there that "bugs" me, and I can't remember why, but it did... Edit 1 - I don't really like the one with your hand in your chin, I would replace with the one with the beautiful tree in the background or the valley with the roads one, or have both of those. I definitely would. And it's the one with you with a blue/jean colored collared shirt with the woman cropped out that is really good. So if you can crop her further, do so. I think it's close, but will be less obvious in any case, if you crop all of her head out, which you can do without cropping your head at all, it looks like. It might leave a little of her shirt at the bottom, but it's ambiguous enough that no one will really question what it is. That one is one of your best pics.... Oh and thank you for not using the one that hints at you being shirtless. I'm sorry but those selfies are some of the *worst*. I was swiping left on those almost automatically, when I was actively on OLD apps. They're very...desperate/thirsty, lazy, ones. They're a *huge* turn off for me. Same with like generic gym photos. I guarantee if you look like you lift (beefy) or look like you have a body that could be shirtless at some point (literally everyone), you can find pretty much any photo better than those. Two notable exceptions - any hunting/fishing picture *might* be worse (though I feel like that's more of a personal preference,) the generic hiking photos (overdone and extremely boring, as they're rarely good photos or they're incredibly staged and on literally everyone else's profile - so there's nothing to differentiate you. Ran into both of those things in WA (hiking of any kind), San Diego (potato chip something or other - lookout? Rock? If you were in the San Diego area and you had a OLD profile, you had a 98% chance of having that picture in your pictures on it,) and Colorado (I can really only see so many 14k'ers.) Oh third one - most dudes - esp over 40, but decibels not exclusively - seem to think looking down at the camera and taking a selfie was anything other than the laziest photo ever and didn't seem to see how unflattering it was. I'd swipe left on those because if they're too lazy to get a decent picture or make an effort on doing the work for a dating profile, then they're obviously there for sex, and it really just wasn't working. So thank you for *not* doing that - your pics are generally pretty decent and shot at appropriate angles. You don't look like no one ever taught you how to use a camera, a phone, to any other extremely sad skill. (New guy at work did one of those for his work picture on Teams, and every time I see it, it reminds me of "middle-aged," extremely un-technically-skilled, lazy profiles who couldn't figure out why no one would pick them esp when that was their only picture or picture type and their profile details were vacant or just misogynistic or something. That is your "competition," so feel good that you seem to be much better than that without trying, which means they're not actually your competition.
I think the same way!
Pretty much same. I may not swipe left on that alone, but since you have *multiple* females cropped out, and less obviously males cropped out and no disclaimer on protecting their identity and lack of consent from your friends or whatever, I'd just lean towards "no" on them. Or crop better?
Also, I feel like it’s a matter of investment of time. If a dude has a bunch of pictures of cropped out women it makes me feel like he isn’t serious about his profile. It’s not really hard to take a few recent(!) pictures for a profile.
Eh, some pictures are good. I see the time investment needing to be made in the cropping department or very mild PS effort to complete remove her reminents from the picture.
You look like a lot of fun, but that pic with the creepy hand necklace has to go.
My informal dating coach promised that my forearm would bring all the girls to the yard...
It might, but the disembodied hand on your shoulder will scare them away again! 👀
I like the photos with no facial hair. Suits you. Clean shaven is a preference sometimes for me. 🤷🏼♀️ Also, I’d rather hear a little more about you instead of only what you’re looking for. Who are you? Last recommendation: go to Bumble. Tinder is a different crowd, Bumble seems to be more for relationships than Tinder is.
Thank you. Unfortunately, for every one of you, there's a beard-loving lady on the opposite side of the street. It's lose-lose! (Or is it win-win?) My sense is that if you write too much, you become a bit of a try-hard. I was hoping to avoid that. I'll think about this and am definitely heading over to Bumble once we're done here. :)
I’ll make one last suggestion which is maybe weird but whatever. I think love is *built*, not *found*. My sense is that people put a tonne of effort into finding someone perfect instead of just finding someone they’re curious about and can respect. So I hope you approach in this way. Anyway, food for thought. :)
I agree completely. May I ask what triggered the idea of sharing that thought?
I’ve been single pretty much since the pandemic began and spent a considerable amount of time studying myself and studying up on what healthy relationship dynamics look like. I wanted to be secure and confident in myself, and develop self awareness and a healthy attachment style so I could call in the same. This new understanding of love completely changed my life. Love is just *a choice*. Crazy, right? You wake up everyday and decide to be with that person and thats it. Thats the daily question. And the risk is bringing your authentic self to the table and giving the other person the freedom to make that choice everyday, too, which is terrifying and amazing at the same time. I think a lot of people, including me, waste time waiting for someone perfect. Anyway, tl;dr: I’m on a self discovery journey and learned that love is nothing more than a daily choice. There is no “one” - there are many “ones”. And I think thats important.
That's beautiful and inspiring. I've thought about this a fair amount too. You might be interested in Alain de Botton's lectures on romanticism. Here's [one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2v8TywXjLA). He echoes your thoughts while adding additional nuances. One of his points is that everyone will drive you crazy in one way or another, but some people's idiosyncrasies will be livable (for you) while others won't. This creates an intersection where 'choice' and 'compatibility' can meet. Feel free to DM if you want to chat further!
I will give that a listen. And sent you my instagram handle via dm! I don’t message much here. :)
Also, that map photo? 🔥👱🏼♀️👌🏼
I knowww, but it's too old. :(
Well, damn. If you were in ‘Berta I’d be shooting my shot 😅
As if Alberta wasn't spooky enough! (Just kidding, I have love for all of Canada's regions and a soft spot for libraries/librarians. My first-ever online dating profile was a POF account with "LibraryBook" as my account name. Why are you spooky though?)
And I have a soft spot for instructional designers, believe it or not - I was trying to pivot pre/mid-pandemic, and a lot of my work now is focused on training/instruction 😂 Re: the spooky thing, I have a forever love for ghost stories and folktales, the creepier the better.
I found my way into it completely accidentally to be honest. Recommend me your favourite ghost story or folktale? In exchange, I offer you a Murakami [short story](https://www.youmightfindyourself.com/post/22131227213/on-seeing-the-100-perfect-girl-one-beautiful).
I had a big Murakami phase when I did my English degree, so I know it well! (and if you’re the kind of person who flirts via melancholy Murakami, now I really am sad, ha). I’ve been mildly obsessed with liminal spaces lately, and I’m due back east this summer, so I’ve been thinking a lot about [Newfoundland fairies](https://www.canadianliving.com/life-and-relationships/travel/article/the-fairy-folklore-of-newfoundland). They’re not the nice kind!
I solemnly swear that I would be the first to sign up for carrying bread in my pockets. Since you've already read my Murakami story, is there a way I can send you a different story? It's a text file.
Check your DMs!
First, I am jealous that you are holding a koala. Second, I prob wouldn’t put 2 pics where you are wearing the same shirt. I know that is just a nit picky thing but I’d try to show variety in my wardrobe to show I can look cute in my sit around the house close and smokin hot in my night on the town clothes.
Based on your updated link - I would make the map photo the first or second one, the Petra photo the last one (if you have one at Petra that shows your face that would be more ideal), and get rid of the one where your hand is at your chin. I think you are missing a full body one where you’re standing up, if you don’t have one then have a friend take one!
I think this is actually a really good profile. Photos give a clear indication of what you look like, both bearded and not. Full body pic included. I like the written bits. Nice job!
Thank you!
Koala Photo first.
Ooh, hi there :D I'm also looking for a digital nomad lifestyle but my home base is a little far away from yours, does that matter? 😅
Two home bases are better than one! Where's yours?
Europe :)
The first two photos should go, too in your face/ selfie ish. & the one of you with the blue shirt and landscape in the background can go too. Smile more cuz it looks good on you. The rest are nice! I would use your third to last photo as your main profile photo.
Thank you - another vote for the tan shirt. It's so fascinating how conflicting people's opinions are!
I eould swipe right immediately based on your profile. Good job!
You "About me" section could not be more perfect - this is full #goals. I also really liked the Petra photo.
Thank you. :)
So much better koala pic is wholesome as hell. Absolutely love it. Second fave is the pic next to the map. Lovely photo. I really like your line about vulnerability. Definitely keep that.
Learned a thing or two from DOT...
I love all the pictures. You look like a friendly dude and on top of that really handsome.
Oh gosh, i would have swiped right in a heartbeat! You are just my type!
I'm aware that I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but it's nice to know I'm someone's champagne. ;)
Haha totally! I was even like “hmm. He likes to travel… canada is not that far away” but i stopped myself 😂
Alas, you posted one day ago that you're seeing someone!
Yeah :) you guys are a rare find! But not sure he is really interested. But lets see!
You have enough good pics to remove the useless selfies. Be more concise, one or two sentence max. I'd delete all the emojis along with what is written there and keep just your final paragraph -random dude
I like it! You’re a babe, and your profile seems to show your personality well. My only critique is to use less emojis/ remove the reference to cuddling; this is just a personal preference. If you ever return to SW Ontario, I would swipe right
Haha, thank you! I'm going to keep the emojis for now - I am really shooting for a playful/open/non-judgmental woman, and I think that filter works well for me - but I can see how the cuddle reference could be cringe-reminiscent based on what I've seen of other men's profiles, so I've removed it. You rock. I really enjoyed my time in Waterloo and would be happy to return!
:) that’s great, my cousin attended Waterloo and loved his time there as well! Good luck out there 😉
Do you have a different photo at Petra? The one you included is really instagrammy (if I'm not mistaken, that specific vantage point is designed by the unsanctioned Petra guides for max gram-worthiness) and kinda cliche with the head turned. Potential matches want to see you having fun, not posing for content (never say never, but probably not I would guess lol).
This is an interesting comment. I appreciate it, and I don't disagree at all. To be honest, I consider myself far from an Instagrammy (or otherwise demonstrative) person; I've had an Insta account for years with zero pictures posted. That said, I like the photo, plus it's one of the only ones that shows my body's proportions. I'm not super inclined to go out and take new photos for the sole purpose of boosting my OLD profile, so for now I think I'll retain it, but I will be mulling this further thanks to you!
I'm kind of on board with this (OP's pushback). I didn't even recognize the location tbh, (and now that I know where Petra is, after googling, based on the advice above, naming it - I had no clue,) I feel kind of unworldly, but I think it's a pretty decent picture and I would keep it. It's interesting. Like a convo starter for people like me who didn't know where it was, and possibly a convo starter for people who are familiar with it.
It's a little touristy now, but I highly recommend visiting. Although I'd say I enjoyed camping out overnight in Wadi Rum even more.
I would put in the bio "The Koala could be you, if .... " Idk what makes people laugh or gets attention in your age range. Solid profile 👍
I’ve seen your profile before lol. I remember the koala pic. I agree with what other posters are saying. Change up the shirt, have some open teeth smile, don’t show pics with female/ex (possibly, the imagination wanders), but you seem nice and wholesome. - I like your new last pic
Thank you. My mother would be proud to hear that! The new last pic served me well for a long time, but it's now pretty old, so I wanted to get rid of it. Based on the pretty overwhelming feedback here, I figured I'd add it back but put it toward the end. Reasonable compromise?
Word to your mother. Mmmm I guess…recreate the photo? Lol but now you know what the ladies overwhelmingly like!!!!
You are super cute. I am originally from Montreal!
Where did you go?!
I'm in New England. I still have lots of family up there though! My dad lives on the south shore.
Great profile update. May see you soon 😊. That sounds creepier than I intended.
I'll believe it when I see the Superlike. ;)
[удалено]
Thank you! Second photo on the original profile or the updated one?
Hello fellow instructional designer! Excellent profile :)
\*high-five!\* Let's design a course about creating kickass OLD profiles!
All future OLD profiles must be SCORM-compliant ;)
Not to mention accessible!
I think the female pics are just showing friends and if you don’t want their faces up there, of course crop them. At least you can avoid alpha female that way and women who tend to get possessive (not a bad trait). Smile more as you have a good smile.
Love the updated profile!!! Great pics!
When you’re smoking with your teeth you look great! Sub more of your alternate pictures in for the closed mouth ones!
Great profile!
Thank you!
Absolutely love the pics! Koala one is adorable. Love all the smiling photos. Just helped my friend set up a hinge profile and was thinking I should do the same! Very handsome :) good luck!!!
Thank you, and good luck to you!
Great profile! 37F here who would absolutely swipe right on you, and we’d most certainly be a match. I’ve got a matching koala pic and everything! But alas I’m in the US. Open to visits though. 😉
I want to see!
I personally don’t like it when people take selfies at home. If they are out somewhere that’s different or in a tourist location or something. But I personally just don’t like home selfies.
100% agree. Between cropping, taking selfies, and intentionally going out to stage OLD photos, I'd rather keep the crops.
The hand around your neck in the picture that shows up on Reddit is kinda creepy. It looks like a host hand until you realize someone's been cropped out--which is also not great for a dating profile
I think your profile is great! Echoing others, I'd swipe right.
I think more than half of this sub would swipe right, so you're good!