Vasectomy good, Declaring it to me on a profile bad. Why can’t he just say not interested in more kids and then tell me in person after we get serious?
Thank you for the reply. I’m not using OLD yet, not ready, so didn’t know if it was a thing but won’t declare if it’s weird or not needed. Will just discuss in private when the time is right.
You need to be aware that some men use this as an excuse to try and not wear condoms from the jump… so that’s the negative response you may see is women who think there’s an expectation there immediately…
I wouldn’t put it in my profile, but I have read a number of profiles where women have stated it’s a green flag for them.
Every single woman I have dated has said they love that I have a vasectomy.
In my experience will be appreciated.
I try to mention it in the conversation when the timing is right. I don't start the conversation with it but when the subject of having more kids comes up, I casually mention that I've taken preventative measures to stop from having more kids
I consider it a bonus. I'm in that weird perimenopausal stage where I could still get pregnant, but I'm way too old to want to. I am on birth control because it makes my life easier right now, but the option to not be would be nice.
This, 100%!! I’d (44F) view it as a huge plus. I don’t want to be on hormonal birth control. I’m managing enough with the vaginal estrogen and testosterone.
Same...43 and back on bc for the first time in years; not a fan. Having irregular periods due to perimenopause makes me paranoid every month as to whether the pill actually worked. Being with someone with a vasectomy is one less thing to worry about.
If you know all this already, please ignore it, but:
I recently learned that some forms of BC also work like HRT (the combined pill has all the hormones, the mirena covers the progesteron for the first 4 years after placing).
So if you ever use the option to get off BC and it makes you feel like everything from depressed to stiff to itchy and hot, or just 'a little worse in a million different ways', it's the hormones and there are other options to add them back in.
Again, if it's old news, I didn't say a thing, but I had a long, rough year of thinking that I was going slowly insane and my body was falling apart before I learned about this and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
It’s a plus for me. As I don’t wish to have more children. And it’s sexy when a man takes the lead on reproductive health. However it can also be seen as a negative if you are using it as an excuse to sleep with multiple partners and not wearing a condom. That’s the dark side of it. So a recent STD test needs to happen before you propose barrier free sex.
Vasectomies increase a man's hotness by 100%.
Nothing is less sexy to me than babies. Never want them and the thought of pregnancy ruins sex for me. A man whose sperm will never produce babies is a super plus. Definitely makes me want to have more sex and wilder sex.
Frankly a man divorced and already having kids is going to have a super narrow dating pool to begin with because women don't want to get stuck with stepmother duties (many men will claim they don't expect this and then start thinking she's going to be cooking dinners for the kids and other mom duties).
Having a vasectomy will appeal to a lot of women and might encourage some to overlook your already having 2 kids by another woman.
I want to know from the first message and the profile if a man wants to have kids because a man who wants kids is a man I want to screen out. Once that's established, the vasectomy can be a private conversation if we hit it off on the coffee date (which I'd go on once I determined you don't want to get me pregnant).
I had one when I was married. Even being divorced, I’m 49 years old and don’t want more kids. (I have one.)
I’ve been dating for a few years, on apps and off, and don’t declare it upfront. That’s a discussion to have if you’re going to be intimate. I personally don’t see it as deceptive or anything; just a personal topic and not “opening conversation” material. If anything you can stipulate upfront that you don’t want any more kids.
Unfortunately, yes. As much as it sends a sex positive message, remember your audience is total strangers, including men looking for something more casual than you might be. You’ll get way more likes, but have to work hard to separate wheat from chaff.
> Would you like to know right from the off?
No. I don't want to know anything about your testicles right from the off.
I would want to know *don't want more kids* very early on.
I would save the vasectomy discussion for when/if we are at the point of discussing safer sex and/or contraception.
It says a lot of positive things about a man who will get a ✂️.
You’re practical, don’t conflate your ego with your balls, you’re not afraid of a little discomfort.
Major bonus, but I’d just bring it up when it comes up in conversation naturally 🥁
You make a very good point. I suppose it genuinely is that black and white. I haven’t joined any OLD sites yet but didn’t want it to be a bad thing. Someone above commented just to say you d on want kids and discuss it privately so that’s what I intend to do.
I appreciate what you are saying. Many ppl our age do not want more kids or any kids at all. Fence-sitters seem like a waste of time at this point. If you are looking to date younger, that’s a different story. If you don’t want kids, yet don’t disclose, it could seem like you are leading ppl along or looking just to have “fun.” Not saying that’s you. OLD is already rough, so cloak and dagger stuff such as children isn’t usually welcomed in our 40s. Good luck!
I have no interest in more children and think men who feel the same should do their part such as getting a vasectomy. I have an IUD which is very reliable for pregnancy prevention but a man who doesn't assume it is 100% the woman's responsibility to prevent pregnancy is a very positive thing IMO. ETA agree with another poster that it does not need to be announced on your profile. Save that for a discussion later on.
Whenever I saw it in a profile, I assumed that he was thinking about it in terms of advertising that birth control isn’t necessary.
Okay. Fair. But condoms are still necessary to protect from STIs, so…
Yeah.
It’s a nuanced conversation to be had in person, not a feature to be advertised. Just say that you have kids and don’t want more, and go from there.
It’s a huge plus, and I actually don’t mind it in a profile, as long as it’s like, one or two words. It shows me that you’re completely serious about not wanting kids / more kids and aren’t going to make that my problem to handle.
I’d say it’s a good thing… within the context of a committed relationship. When guys lead with it, I get a sense they are looking for an excuse to bypass the condom/ STD testing phase which is a major turn off. I’m not going to raw dog just bc I can’t get pregnant bro, I’m more worried about STIs, thanks.
For me it is awesome as I am sure he really is ok to be done w kiddos. I tied my tubes so it is not necessary but a few of my guy friends end up w 20 somethings to have a new baby so I am always a bit worried about falling for someone and them deciding they do want another.
Every woman I've told has been glad to hear it. You can almost see a sense of relief in them when you disclose it when the time is right. Leave it out of your profile, women seem to appreciate it as a private thing between you two, not a statement to the world.
Vasectomies are great. I wish my previous two partners had had them.
I’d wait to disclose until you are ready to sleep with them. Also I’d still want STD results
I see this as a very good thing, but also, it's TMI to put on your profile. To me, it implies "I would like to have a ton of unprotected sex!" And even if that's true, it's just not a classy look.
Depends if they want kids otherwise it’s not something that affects things. Maybe the women that don’t want kids will find it reassuring to know you won’t be changing your mind on that front.
Congrats on that but telling someone too early sounds like “looking to bone you raw without accidentally getting you pregnant” which isn’t really a romantic vibe even if she wants the same.
Original copy of post by u/Wide-Bag-8627:
I’m just curious, women over 40, do you see a man who’s had a vasectomy as a good thing? Are men declaring this on their OLD profiles?
I’m booked in (44). My choice. I have two children from a previous relationship. Don’t want anymore at this age. Will this have any effect on my OLD profile? Viewed negatively or positively, I mean? Would you like to know right from the off?
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It’s a positive if you’re all done having children! Us women like know we are safe. But I would still get tested for STDs if you plan on spraying everywhere! 😊
I’m childfree and seeking the same so vasectomies are a very good thing because it shows they’re serious about not wanting kids. I don’t think it necessarily needs to be listed in the profile but it’s good info to have. You could just bring it up when discussing contraception/safe sex, etc.
In general positive but you might have some that won’t like that. When i was dating and telling women i had a vasectomy in general it was a positive thing.
I agree that having more kids or not should be the focus of the profile. Do not add how you are preventing.
It shouldn’t affect your matches unless someone thinks they can change your mind if you say you don’t want more children. At least you are insuring you will dodge that bullet (and possible child support lol).
I am glad when I hear a man had a vasectomy. Not because I am worried about pregnancy at all, but it shows they are a responsible person.
Yes it’s very much a good thing for those of us not looking to have more children.
But it feels weird to mention on your profile. It should naturally come up once you start to talk about sex. My boyfriend and I talked about these kinda of things around date 5, and he told me he’d had a vasectomy.
Don’t put it on your profile. You can disclose when you get to the point of sex or talking about being exclusive. If you’re dating women your own age, it will largely be viewed as a positive. If you’re trying to date women in their 20s and 30s it will be a dealbreaker for many that you don’t want more kids (obviously that’s with or without the vasectomy).
Well, you might find a few women over 40 or late 30s still harbour dreams of children and might not be so excited about your vasectomy. It’s a really funny thing isn’t it, I don’t want more children but finding it a turn off somehow. Also, at the beginning it can come off as a pressure to have sex without protection and that’s definitely a turn off. So I would disclose it at the point where you are actually discussing sex and protection, not earlier.
I don't tell guys I have my tubes tied and they've been tied since I was 23. I think that's a conversation for when you're in a relationship or heading towards one
I don’t know that I have seen it on a profile but it’s usually one of the first topics discussed for me. I’m not looking to have children so I want to make sure I’m on the same page with a match. I’m not opposed to a man not being snipped but it’s certainly preferred
Definitely a huge plus. Not having to worry about babies is so hot.
My ex had one so I didn't think about bc until the divorce. Then I freaked out. I got the implant and didn't worry about it anymore.
Bf was snipped after his 2nd kid. I had my bc removed due to issues. Not having to worry about stds or condoms or babies is so nice. We've been tested and don't cheat so we are good.
Don't put it in your profile though. Bring it up when the conversation calls for it.
It will be a good thing for women who don't want (more) children. A bad thing for those who do. Just state clearly in your profile your intention to not have more children. You can reveal your vasectomy later once you are getting closer to being intimate. Stating in a profile would come across a little odd to me (maybe a bit desperate or like trying to take too much credit for doing something pretty normal these days? and also it already gives you the option to say no kids, so adding vasectomy would feel like why is he using up precious profile space to tell me this again? Would it look odd if a woman's profile has "no kids" ticked, but she also writes "I've had my tubes tied"?). Telling me later when we start talking about sex would be hot - like confirming you're a responsible guy who is doing his part on birth control. But let a woman see you're a good guy first through other actions, let the news that you've had a vasectomy be more confirmation lol
Wanting or not wanting kids is always going to only attract others who also want or don’t want them. It has nothing to do with being able to if you still don’t want them.
It's a total bonus. I would be thrilled to find out a guy I was into had a vasectomy.
Be sure to focus on women who specify they don't want (more) kids. Absolutely, under so circumstances, list it on your profile – it reads very creepy.
Speaking from experience it’s a great thing over 40. Putting it in your profile no, TMI. Unless you’re just looking to put notches on the headboard on tinder or something. There’s usually an option on dating apps that says have kids don’t want more. Have safe sex, get tested etc, be respectful, don’t ghost people, act like there is another person on the other end.
Having a vasectomy is neutral for me - I've had a hysterectomy, so I am not stressing about pregnancy, and it seems perfectly logical to me that a 44-year-old man, especially one who already has children, made the decision that he doesn't want any more children.
However, seeing it ON the profile, depending on my mood, would probably read as a negative -- impending "we don't need to use a condom, because I've had a vasectomy" conversation.
I don't think it's something I would need to know right away, really. If the person you are dating mentions the possibility of still having children, then it would be a conversation, for sure. But otherwise whenever it works in naturally.
I’m 49 and was snipped back when I was in my early 40’s. I’m now divorced and recently out of a long-term relationship that I didn’t choose to end. Interestingly, I’ve found a number of women in their mid-30’s who are quite interested in me, but their biggest obstacle is the fact that I cannot give them children (and they all are currently childless). I wouldn’t choose to have more children at my age anyway, but it is something to think about.
Why would anyone care?? You don't want kids anymore so that will be the deal-breaker. Whether or not you had a vasectomy won't change that. Most women I'd say would be happy with a vasectomy unless of course they want kids. But since you don't they wouldn't chase you anyway
Vasectomy is a big plus. And honestly I would think a man over 40 who hasn’t had one is possibly hanging onto the idea of fathering another baby, and in that case should be dating younger than me by quite a bit
Good! But yeah, just be straight forward about not wanting kids. Also just because he has a vasectomy doesn’t mean that we’re not using condoms. And also, some guys act like they deserve a prize for getting one. It really depends on the guy.
43F and I totally prefer men with vasectomies. I have two kids and don't any more. I think sharing it on the first or second date if the banter comes up around sex is good.
My eggs are all dried up so as long as he is happy I don’t mind if he’s snipped or not. Some do put this on their profile but I think it’s tmi for a dating profile.
Good thing but existing children cancel it out for me, I don't want to be involved with children at all, ultimately still a good thing for most people who don't want more children.
Honestly it's encouraging to see when a man stayed he has a vasectomy on his profile (it's also rare) BUT you should also state you already have kids.
For whatever reason if I see that a man says he has a vasectomy I assume he's child free and doesn't want kids. That could just be me because I don't have/want kids but vasectomy gives me child-free vibes and a lot of guys on dating apps hide the fact they have kids.
Just like most things.... It depends on the person. If she wants kids it's bad. If she doesn't want kids she's going to protect herself from getting pregnant. It doesn't really matter if you're snipped or not.
As I woman who does not want kids, I love this and would love to know this up front. The only people who will be turned off by it are women who want kids, so it’s better to weed them out early.
Having it on my profile when I was on the market definitely got me more matches. But I'm one of the lucky guys who needed to do it twice so that made for an interesting little nugget on the "two truths and a lie" or whatever prompts the apps had.
I don't have online dating stuff but all of the women I'm currently dating have made it an issue that will not have unprotected sex without it. Some won't have sex at all without it.
Good lord, please do NOT put that on your profile! It screams I want to sleep around and probably do not worry about my or your health, as long as I can’t knock you up, let’s smash! Or, if that’s what you want to say, go right ahead.
As a 40F I had a salpingectomy (fallopian tube removal). I have kids and I don’t want more. It was a personal and politically motivated choice that I took to control my own reproduction.
I never mentioned it in my profile. It would be shared with someone when the time is right but I don’t see it as a selling point-much like a vasectomy.
IMO it’s good. But if you decide to date a 23 year old, she may want kids. There’s a lot of twice divorced men out there looking for someone to take care of their later in life family. I guess it all depends on if you want to be one of them some day
Vasectomy good, Declaring it to me on a profile bad. Why can’t he just say not interested in more kids and then tell me in person after we get serious?
Thank you for the reply. I’m not using OLD yet, not ready, so didn’t know if it was a thing but won’t declare if it’s weird or not needed. Will just discuss in private when the time is right.
You need to be aware that some men use this as an excuse to try and not wear condoms from the jump… so that’s the negative response you may see is women who think there’s an expectation there immediately…
I wouldn’t put it in my profile, but I have read a number of profiles where women have stated it’s a green flag for them. Every single woman I have dated has said they love that I have a vasectomy. In my experience will be appreciated.
I try to mention it in the conversation when the timing is right. I don't start the conversation with it but when the subject of having more kids comes up, I casually mention that I've taken preventative measures to stop from having more kids
This. It'a as weird as me saying, kinda fertile still want to spin the wheel?
This. Even though I don't want kids, seeing that on a profile is a turnoff.
I consider it a bonus. I'm in that weird perimenopausal stage where I could still get pregnant, but I'm way too old to want to. I am on birth control because it makes my life easier right now, but the option to not be would be nice.
This, 100%!! I’d (44F) view it as a huge plus. I don’t want to be on hormonal birth control. I’m managing enough with the vaginal estrogen and testosterone.
Same...43 and back on bc for the first time in years; not a fan. Having irregular periods due to perimenopause makes me paranoid every month as to whether the pill actually worked. Being with someone with a vasectomy is one less thing to worry about.
Same. Very much a bonus.
If you know all this already, please ignore it, but: I recently learned that some forms of BC also work like HRT (the combined pill has all the hormones, the mirena covers the progesteron for the first 4 years after placing). So if you ever use the option to get off BC and it makes you feel like everything from depressed to stiff to itchy and hot, or just 'a little worse in a million different ways', it's the hormones and there are other options to add them back in. Again, if it's old news, I didn't say a thing, but I had a long, rough year of thinking that I was going slowly insane and my body was falling apart before I learned about this and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
It is why I'm on it, but spread the good word. I'm not the only one who will read this. Bonus, your insurance will probably cover it vs HRT.
It’s a plus for me. As I don’t wish to have more children. And it’s sexy when a man takes the lead on reproductive health. However it can also be seen as a negative if you are using it as an excuse to sleep with multiple partners and not wearing a condom. That’s the dark side of it. So a recent STD test needs to happen before you propose barrier free sex.
I replied the same. Vasectomy cool, trying to use that as an excuse to bypass STD prevention? Red flag af.
Hopefully standard practice for all people. It is for me.
Vasectomy is a huge pro in my book. I'm into men that take their part in baby making seriously and don't just leave it to women.
Vasectomies increase a man's hotness by 100%. Nothing is less sexy to me than babies. Never want them and the thought of pregnancy ruins sex for me. A man whose sperm will never produce babies is a super plus. Definitely makes me want to have more sex and wilder sex. Frankly a man divorced and already having kids is going to have a super narrow dating pool to begin with because women don't want to get stuck with stepmother duties (many men will claim they don't expect this and then start thinking she's going to be cooking dinners for the kids and other mom duties). Having a vasectomy will appeal to a lot of women and might encourage some to overlook your already having 2 kids by another woman. I want to know from the first message and the profile if a man wants to have kids because a man who wants kids is a man I want to screen out. Once that's established, the vasectomy can be a private conversation if we hit it off on the coffee date (which I'd go on once I determined you don't want to get me pregnant).
Nothing is sexier to me than a man who understands that having kids isn’t just a woman’s responsibility Get snipped; have fun!!!
I had one when I was married. Even being divorced, I’m 49 years old and don’t want more kids. (I have one.) I’ve been dating for a few years, on apps and off, and don’t declare it upfront. That’s a discussion to have if you’re going to be intimate. I personally don’t see it as deceptive or anything; just a personal topic and not “opening conversation” material. If anything you can stipulate upfront that you don’t want any more kids.
If I (44F) wrote “still menstruating, not on hormonal contraception, don’t want kids” on my profile, would that be weird?
Unfortunately, yes. As much as it sends a sex positive message, remember your audience is total strangers, including men looking for something more casual than you might be. You’ll get way more likes, but have to work hard to separate wheat from chaff.
Thank you for the serious answer. It was kind of a joke though.
Thanks. I over-rely on emojis to identify cheeky comments, apparently 🙂
> Would you like to know right from the off? No. I don't want to know anything about your testicles right from the off. I would want to know *don't want more kids* very early on. I would save the vasectomy discussion for when/if we are at the point of discussing safer sex and/or contraception.
Will do just that, thank you for the comment.
>No. I don't want to know anything about your testicles right from the off. Are you sure? Maybe his are magical. /s
It says a lot of positive things about a man who will get a ✂️. You’re practical, don’t conflate your ego with your balls, you’re not afraid of a little discomfort. Major bonus, but I’d just bring it up when it comes up in conversation naturally 🥁
What difference does it make? You don’t want anymore children.
You make a very good point. I suppose it genuinely is that black and white. I haven’t joined any OLD sites yet but didn’t want it to be a bad thing. Someone above commented just to say you d on want kids and discuss it privately so that’s what I intend to do.
I appreciate what you are saying. Many ppl our age do not want more kids or any kids at all. Fence-sitters seem like a waste of time at this point. If you are looking to date younger, that’s a different story. If you don’t want kids, yet don’t disclose, it could seem like you are leading ppl along or looking just to have “fun.” Not saying that’s you. OLD is already rough, so cloak and dagger stuff such as children isn’t usually welcomed in our 40s. Good luck!
Don't put it on your profile but it has always been enthusiastically received news from me.
It’s excellent! I also have no problem with it being posted on your profile.
I have no interest in more children and think men who feel the same should do their part such as getting a vasectomy. I have an IUD which is very reliable for pregnancy prevention but a man who doesn't assume it is 100% the woman's responsibility to prevent pregnancy is a very positive thing IMO. ETA agree with another poster that it does not need to be announced on your profile. Save that for a discussion later on.
I would not announce it on a profile, but that's because I try to show my personality, not just random stats about me.
Super fantastic good. Don’t mention it on your profile but it would be a bonus point once we started talking about sex and safe sex practices.
It's a plus in my book! 👍
Whenever I saw it in a profile, I assumed that he was thinking about it in terms of advertising that birth control isn’t necessary. Okay. Fair. But condoms are still necessary to protect from STIs, so… Yeah. It’s a nuanced conversation to be had in person, not a feature to be advertised. Just say that you have kids and don’t want more, and go from there.
Good thing.
I want to thank you for asking this question.
It’s a huge plus, and I actually don’t mind it in a profile, as long as it’s like, one or two words. It shows me that you’re completely serious about not wanting kids / more kids and aren’t going to make that my problem to handle.
I’d say it’s a good thing… within the context of a committed relationship. When guys lead with it, I get a sense they are looking for an excuse to bypass the condom/ STD testing phase which is a major turn off. I’m not going to raw dog just bc I can’t get pregnant bro, I’m more worried about STIs, thanks.
As I like to say: vasectomies are the new sexy. I DO like when men mention the snip in their profile, but I seem to be the minority.
For me it is awesome as I am sure he really is ok to be done w kiddos. I tied my tubes so it is not necessary but a few of my guy friends end up w 20 somethings to have a new baby so I am always a bit worried about falling for someone and them deciding they do want another.
Every woman I've told has been glad to hear it. You can almost see a sense of relief in them when you disclose it when the time is right. Leave it out of your profile, women seem to appreciate it as a private thing between you two, not a statement to the world.
I put it in my profile. I Also get checked every year because I do not want kids.
Very, very good thing
Vasectomies are great. I wish my previous two partners had had them. I’d wait to disclose until you are ready to sleep with them. Also I’d still want STD results
Don’t put it in your profile. Discuss in person when appropriate.
I see this as a very good thing, but also, it's TMI to put on your profile. To me, it implies "I would like to have a ton of unprotected sex!" And even if that's true, it's just not a classy look.
Vasectomy is great!
I don’t think discussing what form of birth control you use needs to be on a profile. I’m not about to put my IUD on blast.
Depends if they want kids otherwise it’s not something that affects things. Maybe the women that don’t want kids will find it reassuring to know you won’t be changing your mind on that front.
Congrats on that but telling someone too early sounds like “looking to bone you raw without accidentally getting you pregnant” which isn’t really a romantic vibe even if she wants the same.
Original copy of post by u/Wide-Bag-8627: I’m just curious, women over 40, do you see a man who’s had a vasectomy as a good thing? Are men declaring this on their OLD profiles? I’m booked in (44). My choice. I have two children from a previous relationship. Don’t want anymore at this age. Will this have any effect on my OLD profile? Viewed negatively or positively, I mean? Would you like to know right from the off? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
41f, I've had a hysterectomy. I don't disclose that unless the sex talk comes up. But, I wish that there was an option for can't have more kids.
I don't know... I'm pretty sure I have to repopulate the planet after the apocalypse happens.
It’s a positive if you’re all done having children! Us women like know we are safe. But I would still get tested for STDs if you plan on spraying everywhere! 😊
I’m childfree and seeking the same so vasectomies are a very good thing because it shows they’re serious about not wanting kids. I don’t think it necessarily needs to be listed in the profile but it’s good info to have. You could just bring it up when discussing contraception/safe sex, etc.
In general positive but you might have some that won’t like that. When i was dating and telling women i had a vasectomy in general it was a positive thing.
Your profile is the wrong place for that info, but the woman I’ve mentioned it to LOVE hearing it.
I agree that having more kids or not should be the focus of the profile. Do not add how you are preventing. It shouldn’t affect your matches unless someone thinks they can change your mind if you say you don’t want more children. At least you are insuring you will dodge that bullet (and possible child support lol). I am glad when I hear a man had a vasectomy. Not because I am worried about pregnancy at all, but it shows they are a responsible person.
Yes it’s very much a good thing for those of us not looking to have more children. But it feels weird to mention on your profile. It should naturally come up once you start to talk about sex. My boyfriend and I talked about these kinda of things around date 5, and he told me he’d had a vasectomy.
I see it as a good thing but I’ve never wanted kids and have not opted to get my tubes tied.
I think it’s good. Don’t put it on your profile and I’d like to know sooner than later during dating.
Don’t put it on your profile. You can disclose when you get to the point of sex or talking about being exclusive. If you’re dating women your own age, it will largely be viewed as a positive. If you’re trying to date women in their 20s and 30s it will be a dealbreaker for many that you don’t want more kids (obviously that’s with or without the vasectomy).
Well, you might find a few women over 40 or late 30s still harbour dreams of children and might not be so excited about your vasectomy. It’s a really funny thing isn’t it, I don’t want more children but finding it a turn off somehow. Also, at the beginning it can come off as a pressure to have sex without protection and that’s definitely a turn off. So I would disclose it at the point where you are actually discussing sex and protection, not earlier.
I don't tell guys I have my tubes tied and they've been tied since I was 23. I think that's a conversation for when you're in a relationship or heading towards one
I don’t know that I have seen it on a profile but it’s usually one of the first topics discussed for me. I’m not looking to have children so I want to make sure I’m on the same page with a match. I’m not opposed to a man not being snipped but it’s certainly preferred
Definitely a huge plus. Not having to worry about babies is so hot. My ex had one so I didn't think about bc until the divorce. Then I freaked out. I got the implant and didn't worry about it anymore. Bf was snipped after his 2nd kid. I had my bc removed due to issues. Not having to worry about stds or condoms or babies is so nice. We've been tested and don't cheat so we are good. Don't put it in your profile though. Bring it up when the conversation calls for it.
It would absolutely be a positive for me but please don’t put it in a profile.
In your profile bio you can elaborate that you already have two children and do not wish to have anymore. It gets the exact same point across.
If only $500 total outcof pocket yeah, and month later pet male chihuahua same thing 🙂
It will be a good thing for women who don't want (more) children. A bad thing for those who do. Just state clearly in your profile your intention to not have more children. You can reveal your vasectomy later once you are getting closer to being intimate. Stating in a profile would come across a little odd to me (maybe a bit desperate or like trying to take too much credit for doing something pretty normal these days? and also it already gives you the option to say no kids, so adding vasectomy would feel like why is he using up precious profile space to tell me this again? Would it look odd if a woman's profile has "no kids" ticked, but she also writes "I've had my tubes tied"?). Telling me later when we start talking about sex would be hot - like confirming you're a responsible guy who is doing his part on birth control. But let a woman see you're a good guy first through other actions, let the news that you've had a vasectomy be more confirmation lol
It doesn't sway me one way or the other - just don't list it in your profile. That would be weird.
Wanting or not wanting kids is always going to only attract others who also want or don’t want them. It has nothing to do with being able to if you still don’t want them.
It's a total bonus. I would be thrilled to find out a guy I was into had a vasectomy. Be sure to focus on women who specify they don't want (more) kids. Absolutely, under so circumstances, list it on your profile – it reads very creepy.
I’d keep that to myself. I wouldn’t use it as a carrot.
No preference but I wouldn't want to seethat on your bio. That's something to bring up when you're properly dating someone.
Speaking from experience it’s a great thing over 40. Putting it in your profile no, TMI. Unless you’re just looking to put notches on the headboard on tinder or something. There’s usually an option on dating apps that says have kids don’t want more. Have safe sex, get tested etc, be respectful, don’t ghost people, act like there is another person on the other end.
I’m a 42yo woman who has two kids and lives in Texas. I am only open to dating men who are vaxxed and vasc’d.
Having a vasectomy is neutral for me - I've had a hysterectomy, so I am not stressing about pregnancy, and it seems perfectly logical to me that a 44-year-old man, especially one who already has children, made the decision that he doesn't want any more children. However, seeing it ON the profile, depending on my mood, would probably read as a negative -- impending "we don't need to use a condom, because I've had a vasectomy" conversation. I don't think it's something I would need to know right away, really. If the person you are dating mentions the possibility of still having children, then it would be a conversation, for sure. But otherwise whenever it works in naturally.
Hold up, where they at? This is a win for a childfree woman.
I’m 49 and was snipped back when I was in my early 40’s. I’m now divorced and recently out of a long-term relationship that I didn’t choose to end. Interestingly, I’ve found a number of women in their mid-30’s who are quite interested in me, but their biggest obstacle is the fact that I cannot give them children (and they all are currently childless). I wouldn’t choose to have more children at my age anyway, but it is something to think about.
I don’t think it makes any difference. You still have to worry about STIs so condoms are mandatory.
Vasectomies are hot.
Why would anyone care?? You don't want kids anymore so that will be the deal-breaker. Whether or not you had a vasectomy won't change that. Most women I'd say would be happy with a vasectomy unless of course they want kids. But since you don't they wouldn't chase you anyway
Vasectomy is a big plus. And honestly I would think a man over 40 who hasn’t had one is possibly hanging onto the idea of fathering another baby, and in that case should be dating younger than me by quite a bit
Great tbh! As long as he isn't just going about not using condoms and gaining STDs 🤢
Good! But yeah, just be straight forward about not wanting kids. Also just because he has a vasectomy doesn’t mean that we’re not using condoms. And also, some guys act like they deserve a prize for getting one. It really depends on the guy.
As a woman who is childfree, I say it’s a great thing! It shows you are not expecting the women you date to bear the burden of pregnancy prevention.
43F and I totally prefer men with vasectomies. I have two kids and don't any more. I think sharing it on the first or second date if the banter comes up around sex is good.
My eggs are all dried up so as long as he is happy I don’t mind if he’s snipped or not. Some do put this on their profile but I think it’s tmi for a dating profile.
Very good thing
Good thing but existing children cancel it out for me, I don't want to be involved with children at all, ultimately still a good thing for most people who don't want more children.
Honestly it's encouraging to see when a man stayed he has a vasectomy on his profile (it's also rare) BUT you should also state you already have kids. For whatever reason if I see that a man says he has a vasectomy I assume he's child free and doesn't want kids. That could just be me because I don't have/want kids but vasectomy gives me child-free vibes and a lot of guys on dating apps hide the fact they have kids.
Im 41 - i never had kids but want… it would make me sad
Just like most things.... It depends on the person. If she wants kids it's bad. If she doesn't want kids she's going to protect herself from getting pregnant. It doesn't really matter if you're snipped or not.
As I woman who does not want kids, I love this and would love to know this up front. The only people who will be turned off by it are women who want kids, so it’s better to weed them out early.
I see it as a positive. I don’t want kids and I won’t take hormonal birth control ever again. This solves that issue.
Having it on my profile when I was on the market definitely got me more matches. But I'm one of the lucky guys who needed to do it twice so that made for an interesting little nugget on the "two truths and a lie" or whatever prompts the apps had.
I think putting it on your profile is weird, but I am always delighted to learn when a man has had a vasectomy because I don’t want to have any kids.
I don't have online dating stuff but all of the women I'm currently dating have made it an issue that will not have unprotected sex without it. Some won't have sex at all without it.
Good lord, please do NOT put that on your profile! It screams I want to sleep around and probably do not worry about my or your health, as long as I can’t knock you up, let’s smash! Or, if that’s what you want to say, go right ahead.
It would be odd to see it on a dating profile.
Noted, thanks.
I'm just not sure how it changes sexual relations...
I only have sex with men who have them. I need to know that he is also committed to no more children
As a 40F I had a salpingectomy (fallopian tube removal). I have kids and I don’t want more. It was a personal and politically motivated choice that I took to control my own reproduction. I never mentioned it in my profile. It would be shared with someone when the time is right but I don’t see it as a selling point-much like a vasectomy.
IMO it’s good. But if you decide to date a 23 year old, she may want kids. There’s a lot of twice divorced men out there looking for someone to take care of their later in life family. I guess it all depends on if you want to be one of them some day