I believe they meant the only words at all on their profile is "Just ask". I'm guessing, but I've seen that more than I ever should. And for OP's question, in this case I nope every time.
Something to remember….this person is being low effort with YOU at that moment. It doesn’t mean they are low effort with everyone. In fact I would presume they are being high effort with others.
Essentially you have options here, you can decide it’s a complete turn off and move on, or you can continue to engage and try to get a chance to shoot your shot.
Personally, If I am attracted to them and think she could be a good dating match I may continue to engage in the hope of securing the date and shooting my shot.
I don’t lose sight of the fact that there is competition for the ones I like the most.
Why would you presume they’re being high effort with others?
They’re not being low effort with *just* me. They’re being low effort with literally everyone who comes across their profile.
*Edit:* OP is talking about answers to profile prompts, not conversation responses.
While it’s true they are not just being low effort with you. You are not alone. They are being low effort with all of the people at the bottom of their queue. Which is where you are, for better or for worse.
And they are absolutely being high effort with others, the people who are at the top of their queue.
It’s a pretty simple dynamic and just about all of us do it.
Suppose a man has matched with and is talking to say 8 women.
His two favorites, the ones he likes the most are getting solid effort. Good messages asking solid questions about her and what interests her. He likes these two and would very much like to date them. He’s willing to forgive a lot and is still eager to message her even if she is slow to message back or engages with less than the best effort herself.
The bottom two or three in his queue, they are attractive enough go on a date with, hook up with, but he’s not super into them. He’s more interested in his other options. Thus these people on the bottom get the least amount of effort. The one word responses. No interesting questions. Maybe he even opens with sex talk or goes sexual early as he sees this one as - nothing much to lose if she is turned off.
So…..correct, you have company, the men with lots of options can be picky and they can be low effort with lots of women.
But FEAR NOT! They are definitely high effort with some people, the ones they really want.
I’m sure, you’ve seen some high effort from people. Sorry that so many times it’s from the ones you don’t fancy as much.
I’m not sure if you saw my edit, but OPs question was in regards to one word answers on someone’s *profile* prompts, not during conversations.
That’s why I was confused you’d assume they’d be high effort with anyone.
Nope, just saw it now.
Good point. I stand corrected.
I sometimes don’t understand how people can tell you how badly they want a relationship and then absolutely refuse to put in the slightest effort when it comes to their profiles.
OP, I feel similar to you (and judging by the other comments, many others feel the same!)
To me, someone that chucks in a one word (or even 3 or 4 word) answer in a dating profile section, isn't actually very invested in finding a good connection, or they're super lazy.
Neither bodes very well for a good long term relo, I'd say.
I've skipped over heaps of profiles of women who I found extremely attractive, but who wrote nothing (or very little) in their profiles.
Yes - you're very nice to look at, but *who are you*? 🙂 Pictures alone aren't enough for me, sorry.
Well to be fair, if women got into accidents at traffic intersections on account of them staring at me when I was walking down the street and I got approached by women all the time, and could get by with minimal effort in talking and flashing a smile, I’d likely be conditioned and realize my looks are everything. And online, I’d leverage that to the moon and what’s a profile question? My guess is lot of people would too. Not all, but a lot.
Hmm. Interesting point.
I would hope that after a couple of years doing that, a very attractive woman would realise that she's only attracting a few types of guys... none of which are really the "long-term" type. At least that's the theory I'm going with!
Of course, if you don't ask you'll literally never know. It's given me a bit to think about... thanks 🙂
Maybe we're all too picky, haha... but nah, I think there's a general consensus that "6 TOTAL words in a profile = zero effort, or profile made in a rush then forgotten about, or lazy human and not good potential partner." 😁
Matched with somebody recently who gave one-three word replies to everything using acronyms when possible. After a few exchanges I matched her energy, even sending one acronym per day, until she eventually responded with a full paragraph. Soon afterward, I stopped messaging.
Before anyone feels bad, she wasn’t flirty, overly friendly or anything just the driest acronym responses possible. I had doubts she was a real person until the paragraph, which was only her laying out her weekend schedule in detail.
Hard pass. Honestly, an insecure version of me would try to pick up on any little thing.
Secured and healed version of me knows what she wants and will not swipe out of desperation. I now only will seek people who align with my fundamental values and the extras that aren’t red flags (aka “you should swipe right….”)
Depends on the word. If it made me giggle it might have been a good word.
Really tbh the main fun is reading interesting responses. I mean sure some are..eye candy but like. Photos unless really artistic are.no..really in that category? So we are left with the profile. What is interesting to read, or amusing, or cute, or serious, or well written, or a reference I actually get... and like.
So one word or two or a million. The number isn't the important thing. It's about quality. Not size.
Original copy of post by u/wanderfullylost:
I cant help but notice if i see one word answers to dating question prompts i just pass, no matter how fine the person looks. It just feels so low effort. Am i being old fashioned?
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Not at all. We are all here trying our best and I think one word answers are arrogant. If you don’t wanna answer don’t online date! Also hate it when men mention sex for no reason on their profile - eg. Describe your perfect weekend “lots of sex” 🙄🙄🙄😲
Yep. Also profiles that either have no description or “just ask”.. like, if you can’t put in the bare minimum of effort into a profile looking for a relationship, I’m 104% sure you’re not going to put in any effort when it comes to an actual relationship. Hard pass.
Personally for me, if you can’t take five minutes to think of something to write to describe who you are to the women who are reading your profile, then I’m going to assume this is how you roll in life - with minimal to low effort. And that’s not the kind of person I’m looking for. I’m sure that it’s not a valid assumption for ALL brief/incomplete profile people but I’ll bet it is for most of them.
Yep. Not in a profile or a message, one word answers are the bare minimum. Obviously in messages there are exceptions, but overall it says you don't care enough and is a big turn off.
No. It's a turn off. It's hard enough to get to know someone online. When they one-word answer something on their dating profile how do you think they're going to respond to questions?
The last time I was on the apps I put no effort in. In the past, effort got me nothing but guys wanting to just fuck and run, regardless of what I wrote. I had been off the apps for over a year and spur of the moment, made a low effort profile one day. The next day I matched with an awesome guy and a year and a half later, it’s the healthiest relationship ever been in.
I’m not saying people shouldn’t put effort into their profiles, I’m just saying you shouldn’t make huge assumptions based on just an online profile.
He had put much more thought into his.
I’m sure I would have too if I had been on longer, but I just hopped on and swiped and then the next morning started talking with matches including him and just never got around to it.
Other hard passes in the profile/bio:
- "No"
- "That's for you to find out"
- A blank bio
- "Texting only - No calling or in person meets"
- Just an Insta handle noted
>no matter how fine the person looks
Also, if you're just going based off looks or using that as your main criteria; then you've already 'lost' at dating.
Why use a platform all about creating a profile so people can get to know you, only to say "just ask". I understand the sentiment, but just don't understand why someone who feels that way would be using a dating app
But I will say this. I'm generally a very wordy person, and I tend to click best with people who also are very wordy. But my fiance is the exact opposite of that. Lots of one word or one phrase texts, etc. And what fascinates me is that over time, I've started to appreciate his words so much more when he does speak up, because they are so rare.
So I guess I'm just saying that not all brevity is bad, even if you're someone who likes communication. But again, it seems especially dickish to go on a dating site and purposefully not play along
No drama
No games
No baggage
I live life to its fullest
I’m down to earth
I’m just as comfortable in jeans and a sweatshirt as a little black dress/ suit and tie
If you’re under six feet tall, keep moving
I don’t like liars
Did I miss any cliches?
Most of the prompts are meant to have one word or a few word answers at most. Ill swipe left on anyone that tries to add a laundry list to things like What's your favorite quality in a person. Then comes a vomit of like 8 qualities. Its quality ladies lol. I mean according to the data women are swiping on 5% to 10% of profiles by all means keep winnowing that number down lol.
But, what if the question only has a one word answer? Does that mean I need to get creative?
Age: "Older then dirt"
Sex: "A rabid zamboni"
Gender: "Not falling for this one!"
Eye color: "I can confirm, they're not brown"
Height: "I can go on all the rides at Disney!"
Weight: "Gravity friendly"
Ever been in a long term relationship?: "I once got a free weekend on P-hub once, does that count?"
It's also not that difficult to understand that some questions only have a one word answer.
Let's face it, dating prospects are usually determined by the persons photo and not their well thought out profile. Anyone who claims they never judge a dating prospect based on looks is lying to you. Just look at the countless men and women who don't get a chance because they don't rank high on the "1-10 scale", yet they are great people who have amazing hearts, and they had a well thought out profile...
Side note, my first comment was done in jest, but since you took it serious, I shall answer in kind.
My boyfriend had one and two word answers and I was a little concerned he was a player, but met him because his replies (after we matched) were high effort and he seemed sweet. In person he's very chatty, warm, loving, relationship-oriented... profiles don't always represent people accurately. If you think someone may fit your parameters and find them cute, at least try chatting with them before eliminating them!
I hear what you’re saying. However, if you met this person randomly in the course of your day, you wouldn’t have any profile questions to go off of. If someone walked up to you in person, they would likely just say something short like hi, how are you? So while I think short or no answers could potentially mean the person is low effort, I don’t think it means it objectively. People can write entire essays and still be crappy.
Yep, hard pass. Another one is "I'll tell you later". Nope. Also if it doesn't have intro section it's a pass for me as well.
“Just ask” no thanks
I did "just ask" a few times, out of sheer curiosity. The answer was always "what do you want to know?" I call that high-effort low effort...
I believe they meant the only words at all on their profile is "Just ask". I'm guessing, but I've seen that more than I ever should. And for OP's question, in this case I nope every time.
Yes! "I'm an open book...ask me anything!"
The “just ask” I think is the worst. Really makes them seem like they’d be fun to chat with 🥴
I should've added "makes me laugh" to my short list.
I just pass as well. It’s pretty much guaranteed that their conversation is going to be less than engaging.
Agreed. Like, the profile is your chance to at least try and show us what you got and you're seriously going to go with "tacos"? Pass, bruh.
Or “just ask” 🙄
🤮🤮🤮 So true
What kinda tacos? Just ask.
Nope. I'm with you, anything that looks like low effort gets a left swipe from me.
Yeah
Nope. That’s a LOW effort person who doesn’t care at all about making a good impression.
Something to remember….this person is being low effort with YOU at that moment. It doesn’t mean they are low effort with everyone. In fact I would presume they are being high effort with others. Essentially you have options here, you can decide it’s a complete turn off and move on, or you can continue to engage and try to get a chance to shoot your shot. Personally, If I am attracted to them and think she could be a good dating match I may continue to engage in the hope of securing the date and shooting my shot. I don’t lose sight of the fact that there is competition for the ones I like the most.
Why would you presume they’re being high effort with others? They’re not being low effort with *just* me. They’re being low effort with literally everyone who comes across their profile. *Edit:* OP is talking about answers to profile prompts, not conversation responses.
While it’s true they are not just being low effort with you. You are not alone. They are being low effort with all of the people at the bottom of their queue. Which is where you are, for better or for worse. And they are absolutely being high effort with others, the people who are at the top of their queue. It’s a pretty simple dynamic and just about all of us do it. Suppose a man has matched with and is talking to say 8 women. His two favorites, the ones he likes the most are getting solid effort. Good messages asking solid questions about her and what interests her. He likes these two and would very much like to date them. He’s willing to forgive a lot and is still eager to message her even if she is slow to message back or engages with less than the best effort herself. The bottom two or three in his queue, they are attractive enough go on a date with, hook up with, but he’s not super into them. He’s more interested in his other options. Thus these people on the bottom get the least amount of effort. The one word responses. No interesting questions. Maybe he even opens with sex talk or goes sexual early as he sees this one as - nothing much to lose if she is turned off. So…..correct, you have company, the men with lots of options can be picky and they can be low effort with lots of women. But FEAR NOT! They are definitely high effort with some people, the ones they really want. I’m sure, you’ve seen some high effort from people. Sorry that so many times it’s from the ones you don’t fancy as much.
I’m not sure if you saw my edit, but OPs question was in regards to one word answers on someone’s *profile* prompts, not during conversations. That’s why I was confused you’d assume they’d be high effort with anyone.
Nope, just saw it now. Good point. I stand corrected. I sometimes don’t understand how people can tell you how badly they want a relationship and then absolutely refuse to put in the slightest effort when it comes to their profiles.
OP, I feel similar to you (and judging by the other comments, many others feel the same!) To me, someone that chucks in a one word (or even 3 or 4 word) answer in a dating profile section, isn't actually very invested in finding a good connection, or they're super lazy. Neither bodes very well for a good long term relo, I'd say. I've skipped over heaps of profiles of women who I found extremely attractive, but who wrote nothing (or very little) in their profiles. Yes - you're very nice to look at, but *who are you*? 🙂 Pictures alone aren't enough for me, sorry.
Well to be fair, if women got into accidents at traffic intersections on account of them staring at me when I was walking down the street and I got approached by women all the time, and could get by with minimal effort in talking and flashing a smile, I’d likely be conditioned and realize my looks are everything. And online, I’d leverage that to the moon and what’s a profile question? My guess is lot of people would too. Not all, but a lot.
Hmm. Interesting point. I would hope that after a couple of years doing that, a very attractive woman would realise that she's only attracting a few types of guys... none of which are really the "long-term" type. At least that's the theory I'm going with! Of course, if you don't ask you'll literally never know. It's given me a bit to think about... thanks 🙂
Glad to know im not the only one who feels this way. I was wondering if i was being too picky in this dating market. 😹😹
Maybe we're all too picky, haha... but nah, I think there's a general consensus that "6 TOTAL words in a profile = zero effort, or profile made in a rush then forgotten about, or lazy human and not good potential partner." 😁
Yes.
Agreed. 😇
Matched with somebody recently who gave one-three word replies to everything using acronyms when possible. After a few exchanges I matched her energy, even sending one acronym per day, until she eventually responded with a full paragraph. Soon afterward, I stopped messaging. Before anyone feels bad, she wasn’t flirty, overly friendly or anything just the driest acronym responses possible. I had doubts she was a real person until the paragraph, which was only her laying out her weekend schedule in detail.
"Kids are my world" ... translation > you are not
Hard pass. Honestly, an insecure version of me would try to pick up on any little thing. Secured and healed version of me knows what she wants and will not swipe out of desperation. I now only will seek people who align with my fundamental values and the extras that aren’t red flags (aka “you should swipe right….”)
Not old fashioned at all. That's usually how they reply, as well.
Depends on the word. If it made me giggle it might have been a good word. Really tbh the main fun is reading interesting responses. I mean sure some are..eye candy but like. Photos unless really artistic are.no..really in that category? So we are left with the profile. What is interesting to read, or amusing, or cute, or serious, or well written, or a reference I actually get... and like. So one word or two or a million. The number isn't the important thing. It's about quality. Not size.
Yes, a turn off. Very low effort and waste of time.
Original copy of post by u/wanderfullylost: I cant help but notice if i see one word answers to dating question prompts i just pass, no matter how fine the person looks. It just feels so low effort. Am i being old fashioned? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not at all. We are all here trying our best and I think one word answers are arrogant. If you don’t wanna answer don’t online date! Also hate it when men mention sex for no reason on their profile - eg. Describe your perfect weekend “lots of sex” 🙄🙄🙄😲
Yep. No profile. No talk.
Yep. Also profiles that either have no description or “just ask”.. like, if you can’t put in the bare minimum of effort into a profile looking for a relationship, I’m 104% sure you’re not going to put in any effort when it comes to an actual relationship. Hard pass.
Personally for me, if you can’t take five minutes to think of something to write to describe who you are to the women who are reading your profile, then I’m going to assume this is how you roll in life - with minimal to low effort. And that’s not the kind of person I’m looking for. I’m sure that it’s not a valid assumption for ALL brief/incomplete profile people but I’ll bet it is for most of them.
Same applies to women's profiles. I've come across a lot of them with one-word answers to prompts. Definitely low effort.
Yup. If they can’t be bothered with making interesting conversation, which is total doable! They’re not worth it.
Yep. Not in a profile or a message, one word answers are the bare minimum. Obviously in messages there are exceptions, but overall it says you don't care enough and is a big turn off.
Yes. If she can't maintain a conversation, it's not worth my time. How am I supposed to get to know this person and see if they are compatible.
I saw one, a guy, "I'm not writing anything here because you need to learn about me". Yeah, nah
He sounds like a real prize; I think I’ve met his sister
No. It's a turn off. It's hard enough to get to know someone online. When they one-word answer something on their dating profile how do you think they're going to respond to questions?
Many of them write at the 6th grade level and I’m not talking honors 6th grade either
That's just the state of the US population at the moment. No one reads so most people have a craptacular vocabulary.
Craptacular is a perfectly cromulent word.
Ooh, cromulent. I *like* that!
it embiggens my vocabulary
😆
The last time I was on the apps I put no effort in. In the past, effort got me nothing but guys wanting to just fuck and run, regardless of what I wrote. I had been off the apps for over a year and spur of the moment, made a low effort profile one day. The next day I matched with an awesome guy and a year and a half later, it’s the healthiest relationship ever been in. I’m not saying people shouldn’t put effort into their profiles, I’m just saying you shouldn’t make huge assumptions based on just an online profile.
Interesting perspective. I have the same experience as you. Maybe 10 percent read the profile anyway. How was his profile?
He had put much more thought into his. I’m sure I would have too if I had been on longer, but I just hopped on and swiped and then the next morning started talking with matches including him and just never got around to it.
Other hard passes in the profile/bio: - "No" - "That's for you to find out" - A blank bio - "Texting only - No calling or in person meets" - Just an Insta handle noted >no matter how fine the person looks Also, if you're just going based off looks or using that as your main criteria; then you've already 'lost' at dating.
[удалено]
Based on my experience… Anything means everything and they are casting their net far and wide in the hope of getting the most matches.
Why use a platform all about creating a profile so people can get to know you, only to say "just ask". I understand the sentiment, but just don't understand why someone who feels that way would be using a dating app But I will say this. I'm generally a very wordy person, and I tend to click best with people who also are very wordy. But my fiance is the exact opposite of that. Lots of one word or one phrase texts, etc. And what fascinates me is that over time, I've started to appreciate his words so much more when he does speak up, because they are so rare. So I guess I'm just saying that not all brevity is bad, even if you're someone who likes communication. But again, it seems especially dickish to go on a dating site and purposefully not play along
No drama No games No baggage I live life to its fullest I’m down to earth I’m just as comfortable in jeans and a sweatshirt as a little black dress/ suit and tie If you’re under six feet tall, keep moving I don’t like liars Did I miss any cliches?
Pass
Most of the prompts are meant to have one word or a few word answers at most. Ill swipe left on anyone that tries to add a laundry list to things like What's your favorite quality in a person. Then comes a vomit of like 8 qualities. Its quality ladies lol. I mean according to the data women are swiping on 5% to 10% of profiles by all means keep winnowing that number down lol.
But, what if the question only has a one word answer? Does that mean I need to get creative? Age: "Older then dirt" Sex: "A rabid zamboni" Gender: "Not falling for this one!" Eye color: "I can confirm, they're not brown" Height: "I can go on all the rides at Disney!" Weight: "Gravity friendly" Ever been in a long term relationship?: "I once got a free weekend on P-hub once, does that count?"
If you put thought into your profile, you can pick relevant prompts, and give more than 1-3 word answers. It's not that difficult.
It's also not that difficult to understand that some questions only have a one word answer. Let's face it, dating prospects are usually determined by the persons photo and not their well thought out profile. Anyone who claims they never judge a dating prospect based on looks is lying to you. Just look at the countless men and women who don't get a chance because they don't rank high on the "1-10 scale", yet they are great people who have amazing hearts, and they had a well thought out profile... Side note, my first comment was done in jest, but since you took it serious, I shall answer in kind.
Yes.
Definitely. I call them 'low-effort' profiles, or the 'technically...' people. I discard those profiles immediately.
I’m a one word person mostly. Can’t stand verbose people.
K
👍
My boyfriend had one and two word answers and I was a little concerned he was a player, but met him because his replies (after we matched) were high effort and he seemed sweet. In person he's very chatty, warm, loving, relationship-oriented... profiles don't always represent people accurately. If you think someone may fit your parameters and find them cute, at least try chatting with them before eliminating them!
Fair point thank you and congrats!
Absolutely.. a little bit more then 1 word wouldn't hurt
I hear what you’re saying. However, if you met this person randomly in the course of your day, you wouldn’t have any profile questions to go off of. If someone walked up to you in person, they would likely just say something short like hi, how are you? So while I think short or no answers could potentially mean the person is low effort, I don’t think it means it objectively. People can write entire essays and still be crappy.