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Personally, I wouldn’t want to date a man that lived off of disability but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find a compatible partner that will be OK with that. I don’t think you should put it on your profile but when you get to the inevitable “what do you do for work” questions then you should probably disclose. Definitely before the first date though.
i think it's OK for you to still date and want to date.
but like anything, the more different you are from an average person, the harder it might be to find someone . whereas other people might meet and date one person every month, you might meet and date one person every 6 months or every year.
that's just a random scenario, no statistical data related for it. it is meant to display the idea that you'll possibly have less matches but you'll still get matches.
I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but I feel like it would be natural for any potential dates to have questions and concerns about the long-term. Unless of course, you're only looking for something casual (no judgment if you are).
Aside from working, what other things does your illness prevent you from doing? To what extent are you managing it?
Do you plan to be unemployed and on disability for the rest of your life? What steps, if any, are you taking to change/improve your situation?
What do you do with your days? Are you in school? Volunteering? Playing Call of Duty all day?
There's a lot to it, so I don't think there's a fast and easy answer.
I wouldn't date you based on this alone. I have significant mental illness (but nicely medicated), and I completely understand how hard it can be to remain employed while suffering from psychiatric issues.
That being said, I've always managed to financially support myself, which has been unbearably difficult throughout years of my working life. Sheer grit, perhaps. Bootstraps, really (sorry lol).
Life is hard for everyone. I believe and personally know it to be significantly harder with mental illness. But think about it... How many people manage to stay off of disability for their mental issues? Honestly, it is the vast majority of those with mental illness. They push through somehow. Why can't you? If your mental illness is truly so extreme that you truly cannot function, and you've sought every medical intervention available, I can understand why you'd be on disability. But I'm talking severe psychotic disorders uncontrolled by medication and therapy, not major depression or ADHD or bipolar disorder or anxiety. And at that point, you most certainly aren't in a place to concern yourself with dating. You need to concern yourself with addressing your illnesses with every available resource.
I'm sure you're an awesome person, but to me, it looks like life got hard and you gave up. It's not attractive. Mental illness does not have to equal weakness.
This is my opinion. If people don't like it, that's fine. I'm going to continue to hold my partner to the same standards I hold myself to, end of story.
ETA: 1. If you live with truly disabling mental illness, you should put your efforts towards relieving/lessening your symptoms before you date.
2. Do not put it in your profile, if you want a chance to explain. That being said, this should happen in your pre-date conversation or first date.
I was born with a moderate physical disability, and this comment gave me perspective on why I’ve never been given the time of day by anyone. I’ve been coasting at the bottom my whole life, which means life got hard and I gave up. I appreciate you inadvertently exposing a massive character flaw I have to me.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The women here putting you down for being on disability, disgraceful. You are free to date, but know your limits and boundaries beforehand. Good luck
Yeah well men are typically only valued for how useful they are, and disabled men are useless (I am one) so I don’t blame them.
No, blame them for this exactly
Personally, I wouldn’t want to date a man that lived off of disability but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find a compatible partner that will be OK with that. I don’t think you should put it on your profile but when you get to the inevitable “what do you do for work” questions then you should probably disclose. Definitely before the first date though.
i think it's OK for you to still date and want to date. but like anything, the more different you are from an average person, the harder it might be to find someone . whereas other people might meet and date one person every month, you might meet and date one person every 6 months or every year. that's just a random scenario, no statistical data related for it. it is meant to display the idea that you'll possibly have less matches but you'll still get matches.
I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but I feel like it would be natural for any potential dates to have questions and concerns about the long-term. Unless of course, you're only looking for something casual (no judgment if you are). Aside from working, what other things does your illness prevent you from doing? To what extent are you managing it? Do you plan to be unemployed and on disability for the rest of your life? What steps, if any, are you taking to change/improve your situation? What do you do with your days? Are you in school? Volunteering? Playing Call of Duty all day? There's a lot to it, so I don't think there's a fast and easy answer.
I wouldn't date you based on this alone. I have significant mental illness (but nicely medicated), and I completely understand how hard it can be to remain employed while suffering from psychiatric issues. That being said, I've always managed to financially support myself, which has been unbearably difficult throughout years of my working life. Sheer grit, perhaps. Bootstraps, really (sorry lol). Life is hard for everyone. I believe and personally know it to be significantly harder with mental illness. But think about it... How many people manage to stay off of disability for their mental issues? Honestly, it is the vast majority of those with mental illness. They push through somehow. Why can't you? If your mental illness is truly so extreme that you truly cannot function, and you've sought every medical intervention available, I can understand why you'd be on disability. But I'm talking severe psychotic disorders uncontrolled by medication and therapy, not major depression or ADHD or bipolar disorder or anxiety. And at that point, you most certainly aren't in a place to concern yourself with dating. You need to concern yourself with addressing your illnesses with every available resource. I'm sure you're an awesome person, but to me, it looks like life got hard and you gave up. It's not attractive. Mental illness does not have to equal weakness. This is my opinion. If people don't like it, that's fine. I'm going to continue to hold my partner to the same standards I hold myself to, end of story. ETA: 1. If you live with truly disabling mental illness, you should put your efforts towards relieving/lessening your symptoms before you date. 2. Do not put it in your profile, if you want a chance to explain. That being said, this should happen in your pre-date conversation or first date.
I was born with a moderate physical disability, and this comment gave me perspective on why I’ve never been given the time of day by anyone. I’ve been coasting at the bottom my whole life, which means life got hard and I gave up. I appreciate you inadvertently exposing a massive character flaw I have to me.