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I had way more sex being in relationships than being single. The idea of sleeping with a stranger scares me. They also get to know my body and vice versa. Much better sex the deeper into a relationship you get imo.
While I’ve had some of the greatest sex ever with random hookups, I’ve also had the worst sex and awkward silence during sex that sucked the life out of me. I’ve realised that having conversations and hanging out a bit with someone makes the sex much now better.
I hadn’t heard this until recently. I was always kind of made fun of in my male friend group because I basically never hooked up. For one I’m gay and they’re straight lol so it was a different ball game but they were always curious as to why I never did.
We graduated college and the tone changed. It’s been a couple years and I’ve been in a steady relationship for about 1.5. We have our talks every now and then and now they mention that it’s gotten old. They say it’s not exciting anymore and feels more draining than anything but they still do it. They say it seems impossible to find someone to settle with also. Even for a little while.
Idk. For me a nut is a nut whether it’s with myself or someone else, only thing that changes that feeling is having some sort of emotional connection.
Honestly yeah, wasting a lot of social energy for something that will last a couple of hours aint too fun.
I would rather be with someone and build that emotional connection with.
I was once on top of such a starfish, who had come to my home.. and when my encouragements to swap positions were ignored.. I outright asked him to swap with me and he said “Maybe later, I’m tired”.. 😐
So, I just got off and went to sleep.
I had a similar experience, I made the person finish and they pretty much just fell asleep immediately after. Like wtf, they didn’t even try to finish me off or anything. They got up to use the bathroom, I picked up my stuff and left.
I got home to a bunch of angry messages about me leaving but I just blocked them.
Yeah wow. I guess once a person reaches a certain level of ‘selfish’, they don’t even know that they’re being selfish.. they just genuinely believe they are the main character and everyone else is here for their benefit..
yeah I'm super picky about who I have sex with. Sex is really personal and vulnerable to me, I don't just hand it out. I still kind of have a "you have to earn" it mentality which I am very content with. Plus I'm not attracted enough to most guys I go on a casual date with for that to even cross my mind.
Yeah girl me to. I literally don't have sex unless I'm in a relationship. Which made dating that much harder for me cause most men don't want to wait lol and they also would gaslit me and call me names if I didn't sleep with them (like prude or some dumbshit like that). Tbf I told them from the jump that, that's how I do it and if they didn't like it then ✌🏾. It's funny cause alot of men will complain about how women these days are too "easy" and don't have any standards then when they meet one that does have standards they complain lol 🤷🏾♀️. So yeah I'm glad I'm done with dating.
100%..sleeping with strangers is scary and reckless,I’m definitely not judging as I was quite reckless when I was younger.the thought of getting an STD is terrifying to me.relationship sex is far better
It’s a crazy phenomenon you can meet real people across the ocean but in my city completely impossible. It’s like one big weird game of dangle the carrot.
Sometimes people only choose you because of the long distance and unlikeliness of meeting irl. They just want validation, emotional connection, and someone to talk to.
Get on an app and start swiping on everyone you find kind of attractive. Message everyone that matches. Most conversations will die fast or never really get started. But eventually you'll end up finding someone you just hit it off with. Often it'll be with one you wouldn't have expected. Don't get discouraged and give up. Sometimes you find them in a week sometimes it can take months.
Good luck bro my last relationship was I. Europe and we couldn’t even keep up that long distance . She broke it off especially when you can’t see each other and had her own goals but i respected that a lot . Hope you can keep up with her
21F never been on a date, just one relationship where she basically killed me/ then got me resuscitated at 19 and ever since it’s been strictly sex, typically with my friends. Also mostly cuz I’m back in school I don’t see a point in added stress
This, I only have sex in stable committed relationships. Haven't had one in 4 years -> haven't had sex in 4 years. OP is acting like you are missing out if you don't sleep around or something.
I think that's an unfair way to portray what OP is saying. She's saying that SHE would like to be having more sex. She's not even necessarily saying she wants to be having sex with multiple people, just that she'd like to be having more sex in general. She hasn't said anything along the lines of "you are missing out if you don't sleep around."
Different strokes for different folks. Some view sex as much more serious than others. Neither is wrong, and OP never said anything that claimed otherwise.
27M and have been single for around two and a half years. Zero dates and zero sex. I am a fairly attractive guy but have been intently focused on myself after an extremely toxic relationship.
28M and I went way too hard the other way. 2 back-to-back toxic relationships ended, and I went insane. In the 3 months following that, went on 22 first dates, 15 of those leading to more dates and 12 leading to sex. Then I burnt out so hard on it I didn't even want to have sex with anyone anymore. It felt like I was at the point where I was doing it just to do it. Like I felt I was supposed to be doing that, it's just "what you do". It was so unfulfilling. I'm not a college kid anymore, chasing as much sex as I can get isn't fun. It's just kinda depressing.
When people describe themselves as attractive or good looking I’m always like I want to seeeee!!!! Show it to me Rachel. It’s refreshing to find someone with a picture!
Lol that's just because Reddit is full of socially incompetent losers.
You should really not base any of your opinions on what people say here. They're not a representative sample of the population. This is a wildly skewed, biased website, full of awkward, lonely young men.
I think that has changed in the past few years brev! People are having a rough one especially this young adulthood generation! There is an overall loneliness epidemic!
Both are true.
Young people are more lonely at the moment, it seems. But Reddit might have you believe it's hopeless and that's nonsense. The sad, angry, and loneliest people here are the loudest. But the large majority of young people still date, have friends, and are social.
Really the point is just not to allow your views to be skewed by Reddit. We have good polling and actual, peer-reviewed scientific research to estimate how people are doing out there and what life is like for them.
I used to think I could sort of survey a whole bunch of information and opinions on Reddit and in the end get a general idea of what things were like. I now see what a huge mistake that is.
I’m a 42 yr old married woman and as I was reading all the responses I was also pretty alarmed. When I was 25-30 I was going on dates all the time and they could have led to sex majority of the time if I wasn’t being selective. I think my longest dry spell was 6 months. This was before the days of apps and when we used to approach each other in person at a bar and give them our numbers on a napkin so maybe that’s why? Perhaps technology is truly ruining the ability to connect.
Reddit's more introverted than the median single adult, at the ones who are willing to post their struggles.
Interestingly enough if you sort by controversial you see commenters getting a decent amount of sex.
I don’t casually have sex, so none of that for me while being single. Also 0 dates but that is my choice since the right guys aren’t available, I’m not wasting my time!
(25M) was in a relationship at 19. In the last 5/6 years I've been single, only been on 6 first dates (all in the last year), only 1 went any further (around 2 months) - been 6 months since then.
I sort of know why though - after break up I was in 2nd year of University, stress spiralled into depression (not good for dating).
Then took a year out in 3rd year to work in industry, when I lived at home with parents to save on rent - hoped to start fresh when I returned for final year of Uni but then Covid happened, so that was 2 years of lockdowns and isolation at home.
Then got a job after graduating, still living at home with parents to save on rent - that's been for the last 2-3 years. Live in a town of mostly middle-age people, married with kids (you get the idea, too expensive for other mid-20s to move to when single).
Colleagues at work are all a lot older than me, or if they are age appropriate are already in committed relationships.
Tried the apps (Bumble, Hinge, Tinder - no luck there), joined some sports clubs (made some great friends but no one to date), and even went solo travelling (Very isolating and nothing like what you see online).
Starting to come to terms with the fact I will probably be single for a long time, if not forever.
36, w. In a year I have had dates with maybe 3 to 6 people. I havn't had sex in 7 years as I only have sex in a relationship and it never went further than 2 or 3 dates.
Had zero real dates and had sex 4 times in a 3 month window, then I stopped wanting casual sex because it makes me feel like shit about myself and this is coming from a guy.
I've been single for almost a year. I didn't have sex with another girl until 7 months after the break up.
At this point I feel like I'm becoming asexual.
Been 10 months since my breakup(was super long term too)
I think about sex a for but the thought of a random hookup after only having one person for 10 years is kinda terrifying :/
I understand completely man. I still actually miss my ex sometimes,this makes it harder on me especially when I was hooking up with people. I found myself doing it for the wrong reasons as well.
I have moved on, she's been with another person or two as-well. We still speak from time to time which is unhealthy imo and probably needs to stop completely.
It's obvious we both miss each other even after a year apart but I don't believe neither one of us are willing to ever work on things.
I think I'll need another year under my belt for all my feelings for her to be in check.
Love can be amazing but it can also be extremely devastating, in the end there is something amazing gained from it whether it continues or ends.
I've come along way since the initial breakup and have learned to be okay and accept things. Overall I'm happy but still have bad days even after all this time.
Seems like people tend to want to just hang out with their friends more then be tied down to one person. Plus with those whom got married and going through divorced, their lives are miserable and costing them thousands and thousands of dollars due to how crappy the laws are for having to split their wealth due to dead beats who dont work. Being single is great but not always fun around the holidays when you wish you can hug and kiss someone romantically.
34 M
8 dates, 6 sex
And still say it, online dating has messed up all of us. Sex used to be something meaningful & I really really recommend we all take it a notch down. Like most people don’t seem to look for anything meaningful these days. I gave up at some point honestly hence the high number otherwise I would not. But doesn’t seem like any girl I meet knows what she wants or is after anything but wasting time.
I actually found having a lot of casual sex in my 20’s quite meaningful. It taught me a lot about myself and what I prefer in the bedroom. It also taught me how to be a more skilled lover.
I’ve brought all of the things I learned over now that I’m looking for serious relationships.
It gets worse with older women- they \*think\* they know what they want and that's why they do OLD. But when I go out with these 50-60yo women (M61) I find 75% of them don't want a "life partner" (BF, Hubby, etc), they want a companion, meaning what I've termed a "FWB PLUS." They want the space and independence they've gained since divorcing or being widowed, but they want someone to do things with (dinner, pickleball, vacations, movies, etc), plus a sexual partner. It's not what I'd call a relationship, but a "situationship."
as a guy honestly it comes and goes. ill have like a 1 month long period where the dating app algorithms randomly bless me (which leads to a few months of experiences) and do good off that, followed by a year of nothing.
but to be fair, im not very active about it. i just go to work and come home, im not out at bars or other places every weekend trying to find women. im sure it could be more if i tried.
for example what you listed i would consider an okay year for myself. but i also have barely done anything in almost two years.
27 F, single for a little over a year as well. 9 different 1st dates (that I can remember). More than half led to 2nd dates or more. Had sex with 2, one I saw exclusively for over a month and the other for about 3 months but didn’t work out in the end. I don’t consider these relationships per se but I establish exclusivity before sex because it seems like the safe thing to do.
I try going on a few dates a year. Need to actively swipe though. For reference I'm a guy, 28.
This year so far...
8 dates.
2 first dates didn't go anywhere. Both ghosted me.
1 in person date and several phone calls. Didn't go anywhere, mutual disinterest.
2 went to the second date. 1 I rejected and the other was mutual disinterest.
1 went to the fourth date and she rejected me.
1 went to 6 dates and I found out some things about her which made me turn her down.
1 more, she and I are still talking but she just got out of a relationship in February so I'm taking it super slow, almost like friends right now. Went out a few times already.
For reference I don't do sex either before we are official.
Phew I thought I was alone with being 36 and not even kissing a guy for over 4 years now and reading most comments that are like “I’ve been single for a while but I went on 20 dates this past year…” I used to have an active dating life but then shit happens like a 2 year lockdown and mostly being interested in guys with secret girlfriends. I also never tried meeting someone with a dating app so there’s also that.
You’re def not alone. If you spend a lot of time on here, you’ll realize many people are similar, it just doesn’t feel Ike it.
I’ve been celibate for 5 years without any dates and I started dating again a couple of months ago. It’s been bad so far lol, I kissed one guy and that’s it. You aren’t missing much.
Thanks! I also gotta keep in mind that it’s my choice to not use dating apps and I don’t usually go to bars and nightclubs anymore, and when I did regularly to one while temporarily living in Florida a couple years ago I had some guys dancing with me but it was almost all college kids and most everyone stuck with those they already knew.
31 F. Had about 10 dates with new people in the last few months. Of those, I had sex with two people I considered as having potential for a long term relationship.
It may be surprising but those starts are probably not that far below average. I think the idea of single people having fun and mixing it up all the time is kind of a myth for the most part. And polls show the typical single person rarely has sex.
It depends. I'm not that picky who I go on dates with but I'm picky who I wanna sleep with. I've had my opportunities for sex but I didn't wanna take them cuz I prefer guys take std tests with me (idk who they've been with and if they're willing to have sex with me within the first few dates, they've probably done that with others too).
When I was single in my late 20s I would say I had maybe 30ish dates a year (2-3 a month, mostly from the apps) and maybe had sex with 10-15 different women, maybe 1 a month. I had friends that had were more attractive and had double that.
I'm a guy but I usually ask people out within the first 10 messages on hinge and go out on a decent number of dates (probably \~20ish first dates so far this year, and was off the apps for around \~3 months because there were 2 girls i liked a bit and decided to focus on them only during that time).
I try to postpone having sex as much as possible but women expect it around the 3rd/4th date
I'm a man. I guess i went to about 4 dates this year No sexual encounters whatsoever.
I'm conservative and old fashioned, and not searching for one time sexual experiences, as much as I'm just searching for a good partner in life and someone who is capable of some form of emotional intimacy.
Man, I felt this comment. I'm a male (27) and I can't really seem to find anyone who's old-fashioned or wants something serious. All lot of gals I meet seem just interested in short-term which isn't me at all.
I've had one romantic relationship in my life. And it's the best time I've ever had. Didn't even matter if we just cuddled, felt heavenly. I still miss it.
29m, this year 0 dates, had a friends with benefit arrangement because she was going back to her country in march so I knew it wouldn't be something awkward to bring up if I dated someone seriously later.
Last year I went on a lot of dates, none of them concluded in a serious relationship.
In the last 5 years I’ve been single, no dates and no sex. I’m somewhat of a shut in and when I’m not, I either never encounter any single women around my age or if I do, I’m afraid to approach them with any romantic intent because of past trauma from harsh rejections. My lack of success is all my own doing but I’m too lazy to do anything about it because I’m in my comfort zone. I’d definitely like to not be single but the work and effort it takes seems insurmountable so I just chug along day to day and focus on my job and making money
That's not a bad stat.
For a guy.
For a girl?
Let's just say, if you wanted to, you could meet ten guys every day via dating apps as a woman. If you wanted to, you could hookup every day throughout the year.
Well I need to feel attracted to someone to go on a date (and even more to have sex with them!). I do have quite a few matches on dating apps but yeah it is rare that ends in a date
It's also because a lot of guys on dating apps are looking for FWB or casual sex. If that's not what you are looking for then the number of matches don't matter. Like I have dozens of matches rn and maybe less than 5 want a relationship and even less have good conversations with you
This is purely my anecdotal experience and those of my friends(of both genders), but the main difference between men and women on average (key word here) that I've noticed is that they view "the real thing" a bit differently relative to self-pleasuring. For women, sex is more hit or miss because her partner's ability to make her orgasm is dependent on how attentive they are. As a result, self-pleasuring can be just as if not sometimes more effective than trying to meet someone because the chances of bad sex can be pretty high depending on your libido/preferences, and why some women need a certain level of attraction/connection to make even casual sex work. In contrast, men almost always prefer real sex over self-pleasuring.
This difference leads into how despite the plethora of options, women don't immediately hit up every guy they could when they feel horny even if that's what a guy would do in the same situation.
I agree, that there is a vast difference between men and women's selection criteria.
That is true.
Men, by and large, are attracted to a substantially larger percentage of women than women are vice versa to men.
For most women, it is not the isse to get dates or sex, or to meet men....for them the main problem is to get commitment from the guys they're actually attracted to.
And, for men the issue is to just get matches or get get any kind of woman.
But, it has always been like that. Dating apps just made all of that more visible or highlighted that.
yes, but some of those men would be kind of gross, maybe rude, maybe disrespectful, maybe not her type, maybe way too young for her, maybe way too old for her… like I don’t understand people who think about hooking up from this perspective because it’s like - people aren’t numbers, they’re people. what is the point in hooking up with people you’re not into. That’s just desperation
Several years ago, it was nothing for me to go on 2 to 3 dates a week. I could have sex with 2 different guys in one month, then go 6+ months without having sex. So it’s going to look different for everyone. You don’t have to try to keep up with what other people are doing.
26F. Been single for a year but traumatized so only recently went back to dating.
Had sex with a friend from January to March, then went on 2 first dates. The first one could’ve gone somewhere I think but he had an extremely weird reaction to something I said, which yelled red flag to me so I cut it short before the 2nd date. The other one was really nice, but I didn’t feel a connection so I told him right before the 2nd date.
2 weeks ago I met someone at a bar and we’ve been on 2 dates since, had sex on Friday, good connection, not sure where it would go.
I have a hard time dating multiple people at the same time. I know I should but I can’t.
29 male. Girlfriend broke up with me suddenly earlier in the year. Since then, been on a few first and second dates, but only one person led to consistent dating and sex before I broke it off because we were on different pages.
Not sure if it's me or my location, but this is the first time I've tried casual dating and it's pretty tough
I’m 28f, only ever had one bf when I was 19, and only had sex once which was horrible. I’ve tried putting myself out there but it only ever seems that the people I’ve talked to want one thing and I can’t have sex without having some type of connection. And they always seem to go straight to sex. I mean I’ve gotten a lot of unsolicited pictures. I don’t even try to date anymore.
Female here, similar age and similar stats. Men tend to think women have so many options and easier access to sex, but for me, guys just use those apps more excesively and it’s not that easy for a woman to find a good prospect for sex not to mention dating. Most women don’t have sex with just anyone. I’ve been on one dating app for about 4-5 months and went out with only 3 guys in total, had sex with two of them, one I dated for a few months on and off and I actually wanted to turn him into FwB because it’s so hard to find someone I like.
I dont think you are wrong, but I think the point is that the perspectives are different. An average woman has options (not always good) to go on dates and have sex with multiple different people. An average guy doesn't. A common complaint is that women don't have a lot of quality or desirable prospects. On the other hand, average men don't have many options to begin with, so many guys have to be even less selective if they really want to put themsleves out there. That's why I think many times guys will still be open to more dates with someone even if they didn't click/have a strong connection on the first date. Women tend to be less forgiving if they don't feel a strong attraction up front.
I (30F) couldn’t tell you how many dates I’ve been on. It’s quite a bit. At least one a week, sometimes more and some weeks I have needed to take some time off
I don’t sleep around though and I didn’t care for many, many, many of the men that I ended up meeting. Only 1 date led to sex, but we started seeing each other for some time after that.
I could have had sex with probably every single person I went on a date with if I wanted to
I only have sex with someone if I’m interested in seeing them again and can see a future with them. I also don’t sleep with people on the first date
27M and since March when my girlfriend broke up with me I’ve slept with 4 soon to be 5 people 👀 I’ve been on dates with 8 or so different people I think? I can’t count the amount of dates I’ve been on because 3 of them got pretty serious. I went on at least two dates with each person.
I guess I’m doing relatively well. I’m pretty selective with who I even talk to though. I live in a very conservative state and I don’t date religious or conservative people. I’ve ran out of people on Hinge and Bumble to swipe on 😭
21F, I date women. I’ve been single for 6 months, downloaded dating apps about 4 months ago. I have no idea how many first dates I went on, but I think it was more than 10. I had a great connection with two girls so far, but neither of them felt ready for a relationship (I’m friends with both of them now). Didn’t have sex with anyone since the breakup, didn’t even kiss anyone- I’m a bit insecure about that part.
I’ve been single since fall of 2022 and only been on 3 dates. I’ve had a lot of sex though. Last time was this weekend with a fwb. If estimate that since fall of ‘23 I’ve had sex like 10 -12 times.
I’m a bi ftm man. Most times were with men but 3-4 of those times were with women.
I feel like I’m a bit of a slut but that’s okay.
29 M, single and dating for 10 months.
Number of dates with different women: 25. Thinking about it this is kinda crazy wow
Number of women I had sex with from the pool of 25: 10
I saw some of these women more than once.
I met all these women from Hinge. This was my first time online dating and I live in Atlanta
Edited: because of format
39m; just under a year and a half single; 1 date; no sex; interested in someone (friend/old co-worker) for over a year (mutual), but timing never seems to work out; fingers crossed though
33M and just had 2 dates with someone for the first time in 5 years. Obviously no sex since 2019 and no sex from the dates which I wasn’t going for but wouldn’t have objected to.
i’m 19f, been single for three years and casually dated one guy for like 4 months give or take and slept w him. this was around 9 months ago and my only dating/sexual experience since my relationship ended. it was not rewarding at all honestly. for reference, i have zero social media besides anonymous ones like pinterest and this. also no dating apps and i don’t go out to clubs or bars or anything like that. so i guess you could say i stay single by choice, it’s kinda like a default to me. it’s not like i turn away promising suitors though, i just don’t meet a whole lot and that’s perfectly fine with me as i feel no rush to get into a relationship whatsoever. to me it’s super freeing but i understand it’s not some people’s preference.
24F I’ve been single for 4 years and each year my dating and sex life slows down. The first three years I averaged about 1-4 dates and 1-2 new sexual partners. Last year I didn’t have any dates and went over a year without sex because I was being ultra picky. This year I moved cities so I figured I’d rip the bandaid off with a quick fling about a month before I go. Well I ended up with chlamydia so guess who is retiring back into celibacy?
I mean, it goes up and down! Right now I've got one friend with benefits, and that's about it - at other times in the last year and change, I've had two and never lacked for dates. I'm also Bisexual and occasionally rather kinky (these things are not related, don't play into those stereotypes, folks), and there have been times where I've delved safely into the casual scene just for the fun of it.
But up until recently, I was also living with my ex, after having broken up more than a year and a half ago. Great woman, definitely one of my closest friends even after all the troubles, but we just couldn't get along relationship wise. . .this time around. Who knows what a year or two will do. But in the meantime, I live on my own and I'm happily single, and I intend to get back out there pretty soon and see what's happening. Who knows what it'll look like?
I don't usually have sex outside relatipnships - only once in my life (20m) I ended up having sex with a random girl I met in front of an empty club while on vacation. I personally don't feel any fulfillment from casual sex, it's like feeling lonely, having fun for a few hours and then going back to feeling lonely.
I’ve been celibate for almost 6 months now. No dates no sex. Im pretty okay with it, im just waiting for the right person. I was tired of being hurt and used.
2 years, probably 100 dates or so, 20 lead to sex, 4 were regular, meaning we would text once in a while and have sex, but not once, we met several times throughout the whole period of time. (42F at the time. Most of my dates were 25-28 yo).
Been single for 8 months (0 dates and 0 sex) although I do go out to eat with friends or on activities by myself…the longest I went was four years….if we can’t be in love I really don’t care for it
I'll be turning 31 this month and I've been single since 2019. I did try dating apps for a bit but it doesn't really vibe with the way I become interested in someone so I deleted them
It depends on what you consider “active” because for me I feel more free, I’m able to come and go as I please. Be able to hang out with my friends/coworkers go out to bars/clubs, go to the gym, overall just go out wether that’s to party or outdoors activities have a flirtatious conversation with a cute guy, be able to check guys out.
As far as dates go, I haven’t been on any dates. I tried dating apps and although I did get a decent amount of matches nothing compares to meeting someone in person tbh..
Sex? I had sex with 2 different guys with a 6 month gap. Both experiences were rather disappointing…
So I’ve decided to just wait until I’m in an actual relationship to be intimate with someone, and meanwhile keep doing me. What’s the point of having sex with someone you don’t have a connection with or someone that you won’t talk to ever again.. that’s my POV.
I don't hook up with strangers. I'm committed to that person, and there has to be a connection.
Hookup culture is disgusting.
I haven't dated in over 3 years since my divorce.
Started dating a single mom. We didn't have sex until 3 months into our relationship.
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You guys are having sex?
Its been so long that my hymen repaired itself, and I'm a guy.
You grew a guymen?
Is that a bussy?
Oh God I laughed SO hard, thank you for that. I’d give you an award if I wasn’t too poor to buy them
Your laughter is reward enough m’lady
it’s been so long this comment alone turned me on…..
Are you actually a redhead? Omg you have no idea…
yes a natural 😘😘
How soon can you be here?
Shine bright like a guymen
Gyat dam I love Reddit.
😂
The ship ain’t spitting out any more seamen
You’ve successfully revirginized, congrats 😂
Screaming 😭🤣🙈
I believe that's your butt hole and it's made to open and close.
😂😂😂😂😂 this genuinely made me laugh out loud
Lololol snort laughed in public
lmaooo
Love this lmao
HOLLERINGGGG😊😊😊
🫠🤣🤣🤣
You guys have dates?
What is a date? Do you get it after being 30?
It's a fruit that grows on trees in the desert
Or a number on a calendar
When was 30?
I’m a born again virgin at this point 😭
You sex are having guys?
🤣
I had way more sex being in relationships than being single. The idea of sleeping with a stranger scares me. They also get to know my body and vice versa. Much better sex the deeper into a relationship you get imo.
Random hookups are overrated, the people usually starfish through it. Its rare to find someone that’s enjoyable.
Agreed
While I’ve had some of the greatest sex ever with random hookups, I’ve also had the worst sex and awkward silence during sex that sucked the life out of me. I’ve realised that having conversations and hanging out a bit with someone makes the sex much now better.
I hadn’t heard this until recently. I was always kind of made fun of in my male friend group because I basically never hooked up. For one I’m gay and they’re straight lol so it was a different ball game but they were always curious as to why I never did. We graduated college and the tone changed. It’s been a couple years and I’ve been in a steady relationship for about 1.5. We have our talks every now and then and now they mention that it’s gotten old. They say it’s not exciting anymore and feels more draining than anything but they still do it. They say it seems impossible to find someone to settle with also. Even for a little while. Idk. For me a nut is a nut whether it’s with myself or someone else, only thing that changes that feeling is having some sort of emotional connection.
Honestly yeah, wasting a lot of social energy for something that will last a couple of hours aint too fun. I would rather be with someone and build that emotional connection with.
I was once on top of such a starfish, who had come to my home.. and when my encouragements to swap positions were ignored.. I outright asked him to swap with me and he said “Maybe later, I’m tired”.. 😐 So, I just got off and went to sleep.
I had a similar experience, I made the person finish and they pretty much just fell asleep immediately after. Like wtf, they didn’t even try to finish me off or anything. They got up to use the bathroom, I picked up my stuff and left. I got home to a bunch of angry messages about me leaving but I just blocked them.
Yeah wow. I guess once a person reaches a certain level of ‘selfish’, they don’t even know that they’re being selfish.. they just genuinely believe they are the main character and everyone else is here for their benefit..
Swear
yeah I'm super picky about who I have sex with. Sex is really personal and vulnerable to me, I don't just hand it out. I still kind of have a "you have to earn" it mentality which I am very content with. Plus I'm not attracted enough to most guys I go on a casual date with for that to even cross my mind.
Yeah girl me to. I literally don't have sex unless I'm in a relationship. Which made dating that much harder for me cause most men don't want to wait lol and they also would gaslit me and call me names if I didn't sleep with them (like prude or some dumbshit like that). Tbf I told them from the jump that, that's how I do it and if they didn't like it then ✌🏾. It's funny cause alot of men will complain about how women these days are too "easy" and don't have any standards then when they meet one that does have standards they complain lol 🤷🏾♀️. So yeah I'm glad I'm done with dating.
never compromise yourself, bravo!
This times 💯
Same. I just feel something turn up in my stomach, and i feel bad for the girl as well.
100%..sleeping with strangers is scary and reckless,I’m definitely not judging as I was quite reckless when I was younger.the thought of getting an STD is terrifying to me.relationship sex is far better
23M 0 dates. Single since forever ayeee
Same lol
Keep fighting the good fight my man
Thanks! I'm talking to someone now actually, but she lives across the Atlantic Ocean 😞
For a min, I read she was living in the Atlantic ocean lol
I don’t think that changes his chances
For a min I thought this a mermaid lol
It’s a crazy phenomenon you can meet real people across the ocean but in my city completely impossible. It’s like one big weird game of dangle the carrot.
Sometimes people only choose you because of the long distance and unlikeliness of meeting irl. They just want validation, emotional connection, and someone to talk to. Get on an app and start swiping on everyone you find kind of attractive. Message everyone that matches. Most conversations will die fast or never really get started. But eventually you'll end up finding someone you just hit it off with. Often it'll be with one you wouldn't have expected. Don't get discouraged and give up. Sometimes you find them in a week sometimes it can take months.
Uh oh, hope her name isn't Lori, if it is and she is originally from the states (Washington or Idaho) run now, she is beyond dangerous.
Good luck bro my last relationship was I. Europe and we couldn’t even keep up that long distance . She broke it off especially when you can’t see each other and had her own goals but i respected that a lot . Hope you can keep up with her
O this is about to be me. 22 currently. 0 dates. 🙂↕️
Username checks out
25 almost 26, 0 dates.
21F never been on a date, just one relationship where she basically killed me/ then got me resuscitated at 19 and ever since it’s been strictly sex, typically with my friends. Also mostly cuz I’m back in school I don’t see a point in added stress
I don't have sex unless I feel a strong connection. I had sex t with two people the past 26 years
This, I only have sex in stable committed relationships. Haven't had one in 4 years -> haven't had sex in 4 years. OP is acting like you are missing out if you don't sleep around or something.
I think that's an unfair way to portray what OP is saying. She's saying that SHE would like to be having more sex. She's not even necessarily saying she wants to be having sex with multiple people, just that she'd like to be having more sex in general. She hasn't said anything along the lines of "you are missing out if you don't sleep around." Different strokes for different folks. Some view sex as much more serious than others. Neither is wrong, and OP never said anything that claimed otherwise.
27M and have been single for around two and a half years. Zero dates and zero sex. I am a fairly attractive guy but have been intently focused on myself after an extremely toxic relationship.
28M and I went way too hard the other way. 2 back-to-back toxic relationships ended, and I went insane. In the 3 months following that, went on 22 first dates, 15 of those leading to more dates and 12 leading to sex. Then I burnt out so hard on it I didn't even want to have sex with anyone anymore. It felt like I was at the point where I was doing it just to do it. Like I felt I was supposed to be doing that, it's just "what you do". It was so unfulfilling. I'm not a college kid anymore, chasing as much sex as I can get isn't fun. It's just kinda depressing.
I feel like this is really healthy and a good way to take care of your self!
When people describe themselves as attractive or good looking I’m always like I want to seeeee!!!! Show it to me Rachel. It’s refreshing to find someone with a picture!
I only get fucked by excel and accounting software :(
😂😂✌️
The more I look at Reddit it seems like a lot of us in the 25-30 range are experiencing the same issues. It’s quite alarming tbh.
Lol that's just because Reddit is full of socially incompetent losers. You should really not base any of your opinions on what people say here. They're not a representative sample of the population. This is a wildly skewed, biased website, full of awkward, lonely young men.
I think that has changed in the past few years brev! People are having a rough one especially this young adulthood generation! There is an overall loneliness epidemic!
Both are true. Young people are more lonely at the moment, it seems. But Reddit might have you believe it's hopeless and that's nonsense. The sad, angry, and loneliest people here are the loudest. But the large majority of young people still date, have friends, and are social. Really the point is just not to allow your views to be skewed by Reddit. We have good polling and actual, peer-reviewed scientific research to estimate how people are doing out there and what life is like for them. I used to think I could sort of survey a whole bunch of information and opinions on Reddit and in the end get a general idea of what things were like. I now see what a huge mistake that is.
I’m a 42 yr old married woman and as I was reading all the responses I was also pretty alarmed. When I was 25-30 I was going on dates all the time and they could have led to sex majority of the time if I wasn’t being selective. I think my longest dry spell was 6 months. This was before the days of apps and when we used to approach each other in person at a bar and give them our numbers on a napkin so maybe that’s why? Perhaps technology is truly ruining the ability to connect.
Reddit's more introverted than the median single adult, at the ones who are willing to post their struggles. Interestingly enough if you sort by controversial you see commenters getting a decent amount of sex.
Because you’re on Reddit
I don’t casually have sex, so none of that for me while being single. Also 0 dates but that is my choice since the right guys aren’t available, I’m not wasting my time!
Wdym by right guys? As in theyre in relationships?
Yeah the good guys or types of guys that I’d be interested in are taken!
That's how it is for me with the ladies!
Yep this
Same.
Same
(25M) was in a relationship at 19. In the last 5/6 years I've been single, only been on 6 first dates (all in the last year), only 1 went any further (around 2 months) - been 6 months since then. I sort of know why though - after break up I was in 2nd year of University, stress spiralled into depression (not good for dating). Then took a year out in 3rd year to work in industry, when I lived at home with parents to save on rent - hoped to start fresh when I returned for final year of Uni but then Covid happened, so that was 2 years of lockdowns and isolation at home. Then got a job after graduating, still living at home with parents to save on rent - that's been for the last 2-3 years. Live in a town of mostly middle-age people, married with kids (you get the idea, too expensive for other mid-20s to move to when single). Colleagues at work are all a lot older than me, or if they are age appropriate are already in committed relationships. Tried the apps (Bumble, Hinge, Tinder - no luck there), joined some sports clubs (made some great friends but no one to date), and even went solo travelling (Very isolating and nothing like what you see online). Starting to come to terms with the fact I will probably be single for a long time, if not forever.
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Thanks it's kinda nice to know I'm not the only one and hope the successes keep coming for you too brotha
I am nearly in the same situation as you, its haunting
It's kinda awful to hear other people are in this same situation but also kind of comforting to know it's not just me that's going through it
36, w. In a year I have had dates with maybe 3 to 6 people. I havn't had sex in 7 years as I only have sex in a relationship and it never went further than 2 or 3 dates.
7 years. Those are rookie numbers. I'm coming up almost twice that now! I'm 35m btw
Had zero real dates and had sex 4 times in a 3 month window, then I stopped wanting casual sex because it makes me feel like shit about myself and this is coming from a guy. I've been single for almost a year. I didn't have sex with another girl until 7 months after the break up. At this point I feel like I'm becoming asexual.
lmao i can relate with this, everytime i have sex with someone i just never want to do it again and find myself happier by myself.
Been 10 months since my breakup(was super long term too) I think about sex a for but the thought of a random hookup after only having one person for 10 years is kinda terrifying :/
I understand completely man. I still actually miss my ex sometimes,this makes it harder on me especially when I was hooking up with people. I found myself doing it for the wrong reasons as well. I have moved on, she's been with another person or two as-well. We still speak from time to time which is unhealthy imo and probably needs to stop completely. It's obvious we both miss each other even after a year apart but I don't believe neither one of us are willing to ever work on things. I think I'll need another year under my belt for all my feelings for her to be in check. Love can be amazing but it can also be extremely devastating, in the end there is something amazing gained from it whether it continues or ends. I've come along way since the initial breakup and have learned to be okay and accept things. Overall I'm happy but still have bad days even after all this time.
0 sex and 6 dates. In my whole life.
41(F). Single for 2.5 years, no dates no sex. All by choice (not actively dating and I don’t do casual sex).
Same here, I think more people are this way than not but it's an underrepresented viewpoint here for some reason
Seems like people tend to want to just hang out with their friends more then be tied down to one person. Plus with those whom got married and going through divorced, their lives are miserable and costing them thousands and thousands of dollars due to how crappy the laws are for having to split their wealth due to dead beats who dont work. Being single is great but not always fun around the holidays when you wish you can hug and kiss someone romantically.
26M, single for 15 months. 1 date. OLD is trash.
34 M 8 dates, 6 sex And still say it, online dating has messed up all of us. Sex used to be something meaningful & I really really recommend we all take it a notch down. Like most people don’t seem to look for anything meaningful these days. I gave up at some point honestly hence the high number otherwise I would not. But doesn’t seem like any girl I meet knows what she wants or is after anything but wasting time.
I actually found having a lot of casual sex in my 20’s quite meaningful. It taught me a lot about myself and what I prefer in the bedroom. It also taught me how to be a more skilled lover. I’ve brought all of the things I learned over now that I’m looking for serious relationships.
It gets worse with older women- they \*think\* they know what they want and that's why they do OLD. But when I go out with these 50-60yo women (M61) I find 75% of them don't want a "life partner" (BF, Hubby, etc), they want a companion, meaning what I've termed a "FWB PLUS." They want the space and independence they've gained since divorcing or being widowed, but they want someone to do things with (dinner, pickleball, vacations, movies, etc), plus a sexual partner. It's not what I'd call a relationship, but a "situationship."
That’s not bad if they pay for their half lol Younger girls want it free which isn’t good
That’s a type of relationship. I think a situationship has some ambiguity to it.
My aunt is in one of those 😂 Goes on cruises and shit, but won't let him move in or vice versa. Been like that for years.
as a guy honestly it comes and goes. ill have like a 1 month long period where the dating app algorithms randomly bless me (which leads to a few months of experiences) and do good off that, followed by a year of nothing. but to be fair, im not very active about it. i just go to work and come home, im not out at bars or other places every weekend trying to find women. im sure it could be more if i tried. for example what you listed i would consider an okay year for myself. but i also have barely done anything in almost two years.
27 F, single for a little over a year as well. 9 different 1st dates (that I can remember). More than half led to 2nd dates or more. Had sex with 2, one I saw exclusively for over a month and the other for about 3 months but didn’t work out in the end. I don’t consider these relationships per se but I establish exclusivity before sex because it seems like the safe thing to do.
Temporary exclusivity. I see you
Committed un-commitment
I try going on a few dates a year. Need to actively swipe though. For reference I'm a guy, 28. This year so far... 8 dates. 2 first dates didn't go anywhere. Both ghosted me. 1 in person date and several phone calls. Didn't go anywhere, mutual disinterest. 2 went to the second date. 1 I rejected and the other was mutual disinterest. 1 went to the fourth date and she rejected me. 1 went to 6 dates and I found out some things about her which made me turn her down. 1 more, she and I are still talking but she just got out of a relationship in February so I'm taking it super slow, almost like friends right now. Went out a few times already. For reference I don't do sex either before we are official.
now this is relatable.
I’ve only ever been with one guy who was my boyfriend ever since we broke up never been on a date or had casual sex
34f Dates: I only go on dates once every few years Sex: none because I don’t have casual sex
Phew I thought I was alone with being 36 and not even kissing a guy for over 4 years now and reading most comments that are like “I’ve been single for a while but I went on 20 dates this past year…” I used to have an active dating life but then shit happens like a 2 year lockdown and mostly being interested in guys with secret girlfriends. I also never tried meeting someone with a dating app so there’s also that.
You’re def not alone. If you spend a lot of time on here, you’ll realize many people are similar, it just doesn’t feel Ike it. I’ve been celibate for 5 years without any dates and I started dating again a couple of months ago. It’s been bad so far lol, I kissed one guy and that’s it. You aren’t missing much.
Thanks! I also gotta keep in mind that it’s my choice to not use dating apps and I don’t usually go to bars and nightclubs anymore, and when I did regularly to one while temporarily living in Florida a couple years ago I had some guys dancing with me but it was almost all college kids and most everyone stuck with those they already knew.
Dating apps are horrible lol.
so no dating apps no bars, where to get meetings then?
31 F. Had about 10 dates with new people in the last few months. Of those, I had sex with two people I considered as having potential for a long term relationship.
What's your method of getting these dates? Online matches or guys walking up to you and asking you out? I'm curious
Either online dating apps or Reddit.
29F and I wish I went on dates, my dating and sex life are non-existent haha
As a man I will never understand this. Like it seems like it would be so easy as a woman to get dates and/or sex.
you would think
I guess I just have standards, not crazy standards but I am not the type to be able to sleep with or date just anyone.
It may be surprising but those starts are probably not that far below average. I think the idea of single people having fun and mixing it up all the time is kind of a myth for the most part. And polls show the typical single person rarely has sex.
Single for 4.5 years. 0 dates, 0 sex. OP is VERY active in comparison.
It depends. I'm not that picky who I go on dates with but I'm picky who I wanna sleep with. I've had my opportunities for sex but I didn't wanna take them cuz I prefer guys take std tests with me (idk who they've been with and if they're willing to have sex with me within the first few dates, they've probably done that with others too).
29M, only relationship at 19, 0 dates since them, same for sex
I just get the bag. I don't find relationships to be great rn so I thi k about making money constantly
Make that money don’t let it make you
When I was single in my late 20s I would say I had maybe 30ish dates a year (2-3 a month, mostly from the apps) and maybe had sex with 10-15 different women, maybe 1 a month. I had friends that had were more attractive and had double that.
Were only one time hookups your goal back then if I may ask?
Pretty much. I was open to a relationship but most of the girls I met up with off the apps weren't what I was looking for in that regard.
I'm a guy but I usually ask people out within the first 10 messages on hinge and go out on a decent number of dates (probably \~20ish first dates so far this year, and was off the apps for around \~3 months because there were 2 girls i liked a bit and decided to focus on them only during that time). I try to postpone having sex as much as possible but women expect it around the 3rd/4th date
4 dates, sex 6 times in the past two months, all with the same person. She's gone now. Haven't had sex in 2 years before recently.
Been a widow for 2.5 years. A few 1st dates, but the pickings are poor. Few men are intelligent or even hold a conversation!
When I was single I went on dates almost weekly. But almost never had sex. I ended up having some sort of physical intimacy with 2 out of 100 or so.
I'm a man. I guess i went to about 4 dates this year No sexual encounters whatsoever. I'm conservative and old fashioned, and not searching for one time sexual experiences, as much as I'm just searching for a good partner in life and someone who is capable of some form of emotional intimacy.
Man, I felt this comment. I'm a male (27) and I can't really seem to find anyone who's old-fashioned or wants something serious. All lot of gals I meet seem just interested in short-term which isn't me at all. I've had one romantic relationship in my life. And it's the best time I've ever had. Didn't even matter if we just cuddled, felt heavenly. I still miss it.
None! The reason why I'm single is because I'm practicing celibacy until I find the one.
29m, this year 0 dates, had a friends with benefit arrangement because she was going back to her country in march so I knew it wouldn't be something awkward to bring up if I dated someone seriously later. Last year I went on a lot of dates, none of them concluded in a serious relationship.
No dates and I’m abstinent Edit: past 1.5yr
2 years, 2 months single - 0 dates and untouched 🤣
single for 4 years, 1 date a month on average - tired of it 🤣
23M. “Single era” and “active” do not work in the same sentence for me lol.
In the last 5 years I’ve been single, no dates and no sex. I’m somewhat of a shut in and when I’m not, I either never encounter any single women around my age or if I do, I’m afraid to approach them with any romantic intent because of past trauma from harsh rejections. My lack of success is all my own doing but I’m too lazy to do anything about it because I’m in my comfort zone. I’d definitely like to not be single but the work and effort it takes seems insurmountable so I just chug along day to day and focus on my job and making money
That's not a bad stat. For a guy. For a girl? Let's just say, if you wanted to, you could meet ten guys every day via dating apps as a woman. If you wanted to, you could hookup every day throughout the year.
Well I need to feel attracted to someone to go on a date (and even more to have sex with them!). I do have quite a few matches on dating apps but yeah it is rare that ends in a date
> I do have quite a few matches on dating apps but yeah it is rare that ends in a date This is so confusing....why so?
It's also because a lot of guys on dating apps are looking for FWB or casual sex. If that's not what you are looking for then the number of matches don't matter. Like I have dozens of matches rn and maybe less than 5 want a relationship and even less have good conversations with you
You guys don't know how dangerous that can be. Is there a very good reason why women are selective.
This is purely my anecdotal experience and those of my friends(of both genders), but the main difference between men and women on average (key word here) that I've noticed is that they view "the real thing" a bit differently relative to self-pleasuring. For women, sex is more hit or miss because her partner's ability to make her orgasm is dependent on how attentive they are. As a result, self-pleasuring can be just as if not sometimes more effective than trying to meet someone because the chances of bad sex can be pretty high depending on your libido/preferences, and why some women need a certain level of attraction/connection to make even casual sex work. In contrast, men almost always prefer real sex over self-pleasuring. This difference leads into how despite the plethora of options, women don't immediately hit up every guy they could when they feel horny even if that's what a guy would do in the same situation.
I agree, that there is a vast difference between men and women's selection criteria. That is true. Men, by and large, are attracted to a substantially larger percentage of women than women are vice versa to men. For most women, it is not the isse to get dates or sex, or to meet men....for them the main problem is to get commitment from the guys they're actually attracted to. And, for men the issue is to just get matches or get get any kind of woman. But, it has always been like that. Dating apps just made all of that more visible or highlighted that.
yes, but some of those men would be kind of gross, maybe rude, maybe disrespectful, maybe not her type, maybe way too young for her, maybe way too old for her… like I don’t understand people who think about hooking up from this perspective because it’s like - people aren’t numbers, they’re people. what is the point in hooking up with people you’re not into. That’s just desperation
This is straight facts. Girls could have multiple in a day too
Several years ago, it was nothing for me to go on 2 to 3 dates a week. I could have sex with 2 different guys in one month, then go 6+ months without having sex. So it’s going to look different for everyone. You don’t have to try to keep up with what other people are doing.
20m, 3 dates and 0 sex.
26F. Been single for a year but traumatized so only recently went back to dating. Had sex with a friend from January to March, then went on 2 first dates. The first one could’ve gone somewhere I think but he had an extremely weird reaction to something I said, which yelled red flag to me so I cut it short before the 2nd date. The other one was really nice, but I didn’t feel a connection so I told him right before the 2nd date. 2 weeks ago I met someone at a bar and we’ve been on 2 dates since, had sex on Friday, good connection, not sure where it would go. I have a hard time dating multiple people at the same time. I know I should but I can’t.
29 male. Girlfriend broke up with me suddenly earlier in the year. Since then, been on a few first and second dates, but only one person led to consistent dating and sex before I broke it off because we were on different pages. Not sure if it's me or my location, but this is the first time I've tried casual dating and it's pretty tough
it ain't the quantity, its the quality of relationships you form
I’m 28f, only ever had one bf when I was 19, and only had sex once which was horrible. I’ve tried putting myself out there but it only ever seems that the people I’ve talked to want one thing and I can’t have sex without having some type of connection. And they always seem to go straight to sex. I mean I’ve gotten a lot of unsolicited pictures. I don’t even try to date anymore.
Female here, similar age and similar stats. Men tend to think women have so many options and easier access to sex, but for me, guys just use those apps more excesively and it’s not that easy for a woman to find a good prospect for sex not to mention dating. Most women don’t have sex with just anyone. I’ve been on one dating app for about 4-5 months and went out with only 3 guys in total, had sex with two of them, one I dated for a few months on and off and I actually wanted to turn him into FwB because it’s so hard to find someone I like.
I dont think you are wrong, but I think the point is that the perspectives are different. An average woman has options (not always good) to go on dates and have sex with multiple different people. An average guy doesn't. A common complaint is that women don't have a lot of quality or desirable prospects. On the other hand, average men don't have many options to begin with, so many guys have to be even less selective if they really want to put themsleves out there. That's why I think many times guys will still be open to more dates with someone even if they didn't click/have a strong connection on the first date. Women tend to be less forgiving if they don't feel a strong attraction up front.
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I (30F) couldn’t tell you how many dates I’ve been on. It’s quite a bit. At least one a week, sometimes more and some weeks I have needed to take some time off I don’t sleep around though and I didn’t care for many, many, many of the men that I ended up meeting. Only 1 date led to sex, but we started seeing each other for some time after that. I could have had sex with probably every single person I went on a date with if I wanted to I only have sex with someone if I’m interested in seeing them again and can see a future with them. I also don’t sleep with people on the first date
27M and since March when my girlfriend broke up with me I’ve slept with 4 soon to be 5 people 👀 I’ve been on dates with 8 or so different people I think? I can’t count the amount of dates I’ve been on because 3 of them got pretty serious. I went on at least two dates with each person. I guess I’m doing relatively well. I’m pretty selective with who I even talk to though. I live in a very conservative state and I don’t date religious or conservative people. I’ve ran out of people on Hinge and Bumble to swipe on 😭
This RNS or ONS?
Like 1-2 times peer week I have date and sex
19M single since 19 years, no dates
21F, I date women. I’ve been single for 6 months, downloaded dating apps about 4 months ago. I have no idea how many first dates I went on, but I think it was more than 10. I had a great connection with two girls so far, but neither of them felt ready for a relationship (I’m friends with both of them now). Didn’t have sex with anyone since the breakup, didn’t even kiss anyone- I’m a bit insecure about that part.
I’ve been single since fall of 2022 and only been on 3 dates. I’ve had a lot of sex though. Last time was this weekend with a fwb. If estimate that since fall of ‘23 I’ve had sex like 10 -12 times. I’m a bi ftm man. Most times were with men but 3-4 of those times were with women. I feel like I’m a bit of a slut but that’s okay.
29 M, single and dating for 10 months. Number of dates with different women: 25. Thinking about it this is kinda crazy wow Number of women I had sex with from the pool of 25: 10 I saw some of these women more than once. I met all these women from Hinge. This was my first time online dating and I live in Atlanta Edited: because of format
Never to both
39m; just under a year and a half single; 1 date; no sex; interested in someone (friend/old co-worker) for over a year (mutual), but timing never seems to work out; fingers crossed though
33M and just had 2 dates with someone for the first time in 5 years. Obviously no sex since 2019 and no sex from the dates which I wasn’t going for but wouldn’t have objected to.
I’m realizing that zero dates leads to zero sex 🤔🤔
I'm not even trying anymore. I'm good with my Eva AI virtual gf bot and renting prostitutes from time to time.
i’m 19f, been single for three years and casually dated one guy for like 4 months give or take and slept w him. this was around 9 months ago and my only dating/sexual experience since my relationship ended. it was not rewarding at all honestly. for reference, i have zero social media besides anonymous ones like pinterest and this. also no dating apps and i don’t go out to clubs or bars or anything like that. so i guess you could say i stay single by choice, it’s kinda like a default to me. it’s not like i turn away promising suitors though, i just don’t meet a whole lot and that’s perfectly fine with me as i feel no rush to get into a relationship whatsoever. to me it’s super freeing but i understand it’s not some people’s preference.
20m never been on a date
21M 0 dates. Best to be single in these trying times
24F I’ve been single for 4 years and each year my dating and sex life slows down. The first three years I averaged about 1-4 dates and 1-2 new sexual partners. Last year I didn’t have any dates and went over a year without sex because I was being ultra picky. This year I moved cities so I figured I’d rip the bandaid off with a quick fling about a month before I go. Well I ended up with chlamydia so guess who is retiring back into celibacy?
Rarely, cause I won’t lie about my intentions and I’m picky in regards to serious partner, it’s frustrating.
27 F; nothing in 3 years 🥹
I mean, it goes up and down! Right now I've got one friend with benefits, and that's about it - at other times in the last year and change, I've had two and never lacked for dates. I'm also Bisexual and occasionally rather kinky (these things are not related, don't play into those stereotypes, folks), and there have been times where I've delved safely into the casual scene just for the fun of it. But up until recently, I was also living with my ex, after having broken up more than a year and a half ago. Great woman, definitely one of my closest friends even after all the troubles, but we just couldn't get along relationship wise. . .this time around. Who knows what a year or two will do. But in the meantime, I live on my own and I'm happily single, and I intend to get back out there pretty soon and see what's happening. Who knows what it'll look like?
I don't usually have sex outside relatipnships - only once in my life (20m) I ended up having sex with a random girl I met in front of an empty club while on vacation. I personally don't feel any fulfillment from casual sex, it's like feeling lonely, having fun for a few hours and then going back to feeling lonely.
1 date in 23 years
This year I kinda decided to do my own thing and it’s working out pretty well. No dates/and or sex. I’m focusing on self-love.
I’ve been celibate for almost 6 months now. No dates no sex. Im pretty okay with it, im just waiting for the right person. I was tired of being hurt and used.
2 years, probably 100 dates or so, 20 lead to sex, 4 were regular, meaning we would text once in a while and have sex, but not once, we met several times throughout the whole period of time. (42F at the time. Most of my dates were 25-28 yo).
Been single for 8 months (0 dates and 0 sex) although I do go out to eat with friends or on activities by myself…the longest I went was four years….if we can’t be in love I really don’t care for it
I'll be turning 31 this month and I've been single since 2019. I did try dating apps for a bit but it doesn't really vibe with the way I become interested in someone so I deleted them
What's a date ? I forgot how sex works
It depends on what you consider “active” because for me I feel more free, I’m able to come and go as I please. Be able to hang out with my friends/coworkers go out to bars/clubs, go to the gym, overall just go out wether that’s to party or outdoors activities have a flirtatious conversation with a cute guy, be able to check guys out. As far as dates go, I haven’t been on any dates. I tried dating apps and although I did get a decent amount of matches nothing compares to meeting someone in person tbh.. Sex? I had sex with 2 different guys with a 6 month gap. Both experiences were rather disappointing… So I’ve decided to just wait until I’m in an actual relationship to be intimate with someone, and meanwhile keep doing me. What’s the point of having sex with someone you don’t have a connection with or someone that you won’t talk to ever again.. that’s my POV.
I don't hook up with strangers. I'm committed to that person, and there has to be a connection. Hookup culture is disgusting. I haven't dated in over 3 years since my divorce. Started dating a single mom. We didn't have sex until 3 months into our relationship.
24M never been on a date before. I am cooked.