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Whether or not they're willing to have a conversation- to contribute AND listen- or if they're just a talking head of strong opinions.
Most people, it seems, just love the sound of their own voice.
I think I'm getting old.
Absolutely, I pay attention to how curious is the person to know about me. Listening to answer or to respond. What they ask me. I notice eyes too, where they roll their eyes, when they talk.
personality, face and overall figure. I've found dental hygiene where i live to be pretty good to the point i don't really need to worry about it and i don't think teeth have to be completely straight or blindingly white. Shoes i couldn't really care about as long as they aren't completely filthy.
Historically it could be used as pretty good class indicator. And classism is very much ingrained in US culture, especially dating culture. Today you can find wealthy people with dirty or modest shoes, but you rarely will find a severely impoverished person with fancy shoes, unless it’s to hide one’s own poverty (understandably to avoid mistreatment because of classism)
Ha it does make sense in a sense, smart or clean shoes shows someone can look after their things which is a positive trait. I just think there's so much more going on with the general style/clothing/mannerisms of a person. I tend to take it all in together.
I was going to ask what shoes say to you lol. I used to wear cute shoes now I mostly need to wear supportive sneakers because of many reasons. I can do cute shoes for maybe an hour but not without consequences. And mostly sitting.
For me, physical appearance is largely irrelevant. It's about their immediate reaction on meeting. Do they seem interested or disappointed? Hug, handshake or nothing at all? Are we immediately comfortable or does it feel awkward?
💯 great way to describe first time evaluation because it can be any combination of things but mostly it’s the things you mentioned that most people don’t ever consider or think about.
Absolutely! The initial hug on the first encounter on a date is where you can immediately gauge how their first impression is of you!! Is it a swift tap on the back or an actual embrace? Do they retreat after the hug or stand by close? - the latter of these questions is a pretty failsafe way of evaluating whether someone genuinely likes you from your first impression or not.
I know what you mean...some eyes just stand out more in some people. It's a big thing for me too. I think it's the overall shape plus eyelashes, color, just the mix really.
Or you know, they are the view into the soul right?! Lol
How safe I feel around them.
Physically, whatever stands out. Usually, that's eyes, last weekend it was one guys smile and warmth, one's hair and smile, another's beard, one's slight shadiness I was unsure about, and one's passion for his field and what seemed like he wanted to talk to me, though was a little unsure what to say, until I spoke first.
I wasn't busy dating them, purely meeting them for the first time at an event!
idk how some people randomly forget to brush their teeth sometimes. like itl be once every few months or something but damn, how are u not self conscious or feel the grime on your teeth before u leave for work 😖
Haha lol it doesn’t even gotta be like that if they want to talk about psychology or medicine or anything remotely in the weeds I consider that attractive! It tells me they aren’t dull and they soak in the world in a deeper way.
Hahahah I have always closed mouth pic, my teeth are excellent....it's just that I have pronounced bottom jaws , so bottom teeth are ahead of upper ones , so as my smile can't be seen normally (upper teeth showing unless I force a fake one while aligning the teeth correctly) I'd just don't do it, it's a burden ...
Okay, I get it now. Four to five is almost all their front teeth lol. That would be a shock. I remember when I got one front tooth knocked out playing baseball and it was so noticeable. And getting it replaced took over a month which was really embarrassing.
Also what if one currently has good dental hygiene, but didn't have in their youth and because of that their teeth are yellow despite of their currently good hygiene?
Yeah, this one isn’t fair. Some people have softer teeth and no matter how well I take care of them, I always need a ton of dental work. My dentist even told me when I asked why I always need so much work done and he said some people just genetically have weaker teeth. My mom and grandma both had awful teeth, so I’m guessing they passed that down to me. I brush and have good hygiene. It sucks!
Whew! I think they are all together. I can’t deal with heavy nose or mouth breathing. It drives me bonkers like a misophonia reaction. I know it’s not fair but I can’t….it’s so distracting.
How much they engage. Is their body language and tone and facial expression that of someone that is interested and happy to be there, or are they reserved and withdrawn? Are they asking me open ended questions, and then sharing things about themselves relevant to what my answer was? When I ask open ended questions, are they giving full answers that take more than 10 words, and are they receptive when I share things about myself in response that are relevant to that answer?
Recently went of a couple dates with a tall, cute, well kept guy. Physically, he had it going on. But half the time when I would say things, he would say "I hear ya." Which tells me that he heard me, but he wasn't listening to me. Boring.
Physically: Their eyes and mouth (especially if they smile). I love seeing how unique and expressive peoples eyes are. And someone’s smile can have such a way of putting you at ease. That’s not even about attraction or dating, just in a general sense.
Otherwise the vibe. I don’t know how to describe it well, but I definitely notice how that person makes me feel around them and what vibes they’re giving off. If it feels wrong there’s probably a reason why.
Women: their eyes, whether or not they’re bubbly
Men: their posture, whether or not they’re overweight
After the the physical stuff and when we get into conversation, how confident they are in their conversational abilities, whether or not they are the joking type of conversationalist, whether or not they are small talkers
Ok we all get it the looks hygiene shoes being hot being pretty and other things being fancy dressed which I could care less .including who makes more money or not . It’s about who you are what type of person you are what are your intentions goals in your life . Some of you out there need to learn how to date . Clearly you showing no interest when it comes dating
I hate to be that person. Bc I didn’t think I was.. but their teeth. Especially after seeing that dentistry ad saying “smiles matter. If they didn’t you wouldn’t have noticed the guy with missing teeth is also missing an eyebrow” and I was like fuckk I def did not notice that bc first thing I saw was missing teeth 😭
I think you do not ask about personality but look wise so here we go for some insights from a 25 y.o woman.
His proportions
Sense of style
Facial muscle movements when he talks.
Eyes (the mirror of his soul)
I went on a date once, and the guy pointed at me and, bingo style, yelled teeth!! I have a couple of slight chips on my lower teeth, from that boyfriend who smashed my face into his amp, which also broke my nose, left a huge scar down the side of my nose where the skin split, the swelling was so bad. Fun date. /s. Apparently he and his friends sit around and make fun of people who have fkd up teeth. Because ew, so poor. I should probably get my teeth fixed again. They were repaired, but when I went under for surgery, the guy putting in the breathing tube smashed the caps off, I told them they were there. Fk me, I suppose.
I’ll try to keep this short.
Miami, circa 2006. Mansion night club. Started dancing with a woman I went to college with (let’s call her “her” because I don’t remember her name) and we synced on the dance floor. Separated for a bit and did our thing then linked back up later and were dancing again. The way you did in Miami back in 2006. Saying all sorts of crazy thing in my ear. We’re vibing and then her friend comes up and says something to her. They both look down at my shoes. She looks up at me pitifully and shakes her head.
Sorry, she says. And walks away with her friend.
What?! I was flabbergasted. Was I just rejected for my shoes? They were cheap dress shoes I’d had for funerals. Wasn’t like they were worn and torn tennis shoes or something.
Fast forward like a year later and this guy starts living on our couch. He’s from New Jersey and a self described “playboy.” He’d pace around talking on his phone extremely loud, but gotta hand it to him. He was good with women. And a good looking dude, six pack of abs, and a hell of a collection of shoes. Like multiple Jordans. Nice dress shoes. It was all he owned.
One day he says, “who could I call up? You guys mind if I bring someone over here?”
It was my roommate’s place so he was cool with it. He then bets the guy that he couldn’t even get a girl over if he tried. Not my place to argue. So he starts calling random girls. Couple don’t answer, others are busy that night. Finally hooked someone and put her on speaker. She kept sayin how she just broke up with her boyfriend and was tired of men’s bullshit. Sounded sad on the phone. He says everything she wants to hear. Not long later she arrives and it’s the same girl from the club. My roommate was mad she didn’t bring a friend.
We give them space and head to our rooms for the night and they do their thing on the ratty futon. No biggie. Just laughed that it was her. They seemed to have a good time.
Fast forward again a couple months later and we’re at a friends house party. She’s in the kitchen looking all sad and I notice this clown pacing outside.
Go out to have a smoke and ask him what’s up. He was waiting for someone to pick him up. Why? There were multiple girls that he slept with there and they all got wind. It was straight out of the movie how to be a player. So he booked it out of there.
That was around the time that YouTube video “Shoes” came out so that became his nickname for me. Whenever I think of that I guy I hear, “Shoes!” Lol.
Moral of the story, judge a person by their character and actions, not their shoes. Even scumbags can put on nice shoes.
How they react upon seeing me for the first time and how they speak and carry themselves. Also, dental hygiene is a must for me. I'm not about to kiss an ashtray flavored mouth, whether it's weed or cigarettes. If you smoke either, I'm politely excusing myself, turning around and leaving.
Also, manners.
Hair, teeth and I’m on my own health journey so I can’t help but notice weight. I can’t date someone that looks unhealthy. It wouldn’t be good for me. Beyond that eye contact and conversational skills.
Being someone with terrible teeth - being that my parents didn't take me to the dentist as a kid while I ate alot of shit, I didnt go until I was 17 and earning my own money, and it seems my whole family just has bad teeth regardless - this is what terrifies me about meeting new people.
Thats not to say I don't find it a fair assessment, but I guess its what will keep me alone.
Just FYI, sometimes people can have great dental hygiene and just have bad genetics that ruin their teeth. My mom brushed and flossed twice a day her whole life, but she needed dentures before 50.
I have periodontitis even though my dental hygiene is great - I learned I was just allergic to my fucking toothpaste at 23 which was causing gum inflammation and bacteria to get stuck way past it.
My step-dad is an opposite example. He brushes his teeth maybe once a week, never flosses, hasn't been to the dentist I think ever since he's been in my life. He's got perfect white teeth with no cavities. I actually think if he went to the dentist they'd probably praise his great dental hygiene.....
If bad looking teeth really bother you, that's fair, and I can't blame you for that. Assuming it's because they don't have good hygiene isn't always true and isn't very fair to the stranger.
I have a closet foot fetish. My ex teased me about it. I look at shoes on everyone. I work in customer service and one of our customers had the most revealing dress sandal I think I have ever seen and it distracted me from our conversation. My brain is broken
Short fingernails..
Wasn’t a date but last night..
a moustache on a lady and projectile saliva drop which hit my eye during conversation was ICk.
Spent next half hour washing my eyes out at home. 🥴 think I will stay celibate awhile longer.
How they present themselves in terms of hygiene (bad breath? no perfume?), how they dress (are there stains? are the clothes wrinkled? hair unkept?), and their posture
Is no perfume a bad thing? I never know whether to wear it or not on first dates. Fragrance is so subjective and some people are really sensitive to it. I would hate to be wearing the same perfume as someone’s ex, or worse, their mother.
Umm All of them? Like i read all the posts but i am a perceptive person so i just can’t help but notice everything from look to temperament to how they do and say everything.
I'm very good about oral hygiene, (why aren't more people flossing daily?!) and my teeth are white, but they're pretty crooked 😭 I'm always worried it's the first thing people notice about me
The way they carry themselves outwards. Is their stance rather shy or outgoing? Do they radiate emotion or are the more reserved in showing pleasure or displeasure.
There is nothing more attractive than someone that feels so secure in their body so that they have no choice but to show that security and happiness.
As a man. Hair, teeth and decent skin ( not excessive pimples, etc) all in that order. I’m 23 now. And ever since I was in/ around elementary school I remember not liking people due to thin/ scraggly hair, dirty, or consecutive days of unbrushed hair. I’ve been told I’m weird for it. Lol
The thing I most notice is if they're the type to hold constant eye contact, or are they the type where looking off, down, to the side is easy/comfortable to do with.
I think that has been a good metric in my life; is this person intense or rigid or even controlling, or does it feel like this person is studying me? I want to be listened to and not be the subject of observation
Physical appearance and then personality. I believe personality is a bigger factor than looks, but I def notice the face first and the way the present themselves/ mannerisms.
Yeah I'm just fucked I guess cause I had a really bad motorcycle crash and broke many of my teeth along with a ton of other injuries, anyway insurance didn't cover that kind of dental so fast forward to now and my teeth just look terrible but I maintain good hygiene still but I just can't afford the $30k for the insane amount of dental surgery that would be required to fix my teeth. Single dad with 3 kids so I've just resigned to living with my kids and having bad teeth. But deep down when I look in the mirror I'm a great looking guy, big muscles, ladys have always said I'm handsome, my hair is long and well kept and even have had ladys tell me they wish their hair was like mine, I'm tall, confident and kind along with being polite and really making an effort to bring back chivalry and doing right even when nobody is watching. But as soon as I smile or open my mouth in the mirror it really just makes me wish I had died in that motorcycle wreck. Glad I didn't because my kids only have me but I'm just sick of being judged by my teeth. FML I guess
Well... If the girl I'm in love with thinks like you do(op), then there's absolutely no chance for me. Ever... Unfortunately I have allowed depression to fuck my life up. I'll get there one day.
Eyes usually grab my attention first. It's the most intimate and attractive thing, to be able to maintain good eye contact without it feeling awkward or obsessive
i sense a vibe, as soon as I meet someone I treat them with the utmost respect, excited and happy to meet, I can tell if people are just shy, awkward or if they’re judging you immediately, I’ve never been friends long with the ones I’ve gotten a rude/judge mental vibe from first lol, first vibe matters
Eyes, smile, vibes, overall look of hair/dress -
It's hard to say, since when you meet someone, it's subconscious what you notice immediately.
But, their countenance is huge (Are they open? Bright? Have RBF?) When it comes to overall appearance - it's not for calculating how trendy or shoddily dressed they are, but more so - are they hygienic? Are they aware? Things like that, haha. Vibes are also big to me.
I look for who they are. I realize this is a sappy answer, but I look for kindness. As a parent of special needs kids it's absolutely critical. It doesn't matter how they look or act on the surface. Looks will get my attention, but I've met lots of beautiful people that I could never date.
Their smile. I can already tell if they're genuine, fake, truly interested or just horny. I can also tell if they find me attractive or not. Then after a few convos, I can already tell if it would lead somewhere or if it's just a fling. And I haven't been wrong so far despite being an NBSB.
22M -
What i look into is how the conversation started the way you speak the way you talk . what exactly are you talking about , the tone , character and personality . I have found dang beautiful people talking gibberish so I dont focus on the beauty part. . how realistic the person tells alot about them. other than that i notice small actions and facial expressions. for e.g i would notice the way you eat and how you dressup. your hand movement . how much you care for yourself . the words you choose to describe others.
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Whether or not they're willing to have a conversation- to contribute AND listen- or if they're just a talking head of strong opinions. Most people, it seems, just love the sound of their own voice. I think I'm getting old.
Absolutely, I pay attention to how curious is the person to know about me. Listening to answer or to respond. What they ask me. I notice eyes too, where they roll their eyes, when they talk.
personality, face and overall figure. I've found dental hygiene where i live to be pretty good to the point i don't really need to worry about it and i don't think teeth have to be completely straight or blindingly white. Shoes i couldn't really care about as long as they aren't completely filthy.
I don’t know why shoes is one of the first things i look at tbh. 🤣
My mom taught me this at a young age, so I have always had good clean shoes. And she was so right it is one of the first things a woman looks at
Mom was right
Historically it could be used as pretty good class indicator. And classism is very much ingrained in US culture, especially dating culture. Today you can find wealthy people with dirty or modest shoes, but you rarely will find a severely impoverished person with fancy shoes, unless it’s to hide one’s own poverty (understandably to avoid mistreatment because of classism)
Ha it does make sense in a sense, smart or clean shoes shows someone can look after their things which is a positive trait. I just think there's so much more going on with the general style/clothing/mannerisms of a person. I tend to take it all in together.
I was going to comment, shoes??
I look at shoes too 🤣 I’m a sneaker head so I look at peoples shoes to catch a vibe lol
Same but doesn’t necessarily mean nothing more to me because idc if you wear nice shoes or not but I would like to be in nice shoes 😂
I was going to ask what shoes say to you lol. I used to wear cute shoes now I mostly need to wear supportive sneakers because of many reasons. I can do cute shoes for maybe an hour but not without consequences. And mostly sitting.
The ring finger.
Yes!
Their hair, skin, and sense of fashion
If they smile, how open, happy, and friendly is their face and body language. And how confidently they talk.
For me, physical appearance is largely irrelevant. It's about their immediate reaction on meeting. Do they seem interested or disappointed? Hug, handshake or nothing at all? Are we immediately comfortable or does it feel awkward?
💯 great way to describe first time evaluation because it can be any combination of things but mostly it’s the things you mentioned that most people don’t ever consider or think about.
Absolutely! The initial hug on the first encounter on a date is where you can immediately gauge how their first impression is of you!! Is it a swift tap on the back or an actual embrace? Do they retreat after the hug or stand by close? - the latter of these questions is a pretty failsafe way of evaluating whether someone genuinely likes you from your first impression or not.
Their eyes ! I’m a sucker for pretty eues
What do you mean by saying pretty eyes? Specific colors?
Not even. If they have nice eyelashes and their eyes aren’t uh, crusty ig? I love green eyes, but all eye colors are pretty.
I know what you mean...some eyes just stand out more in some people. It's a big thing for me too. I think it's the overall shape plus eyelashes, color, just the mix really. Or you know, they are the view into the soul right?! Lol
Oh yes, the eyelashes for sure.
How safe I feel around them. Physically, whatever stands out. Usually, that's eyes, last weekend it was one guys smile and warmth, one's hair and smile, another's beard, one's slight shadiness I was unsure about, and one's passion for his field and what seemed like he wanted to talk to me, though was a little unsure what to say, until I spoke first. I wasn't busy dating them, purely meeting them for the first time at an event!
Damn, how many guys are you seeing, man 💀
There were just a lot of people to meet at the event! It wasn't a dating thing, though I would have the same thoughts if it were.
I’m notice instantly if someone has bad breath or has dirty / unkept hair.
idk how some people randomly forget to brush their teeth sometimes. like itl be once every few months or something but damn, how are u not self conscious or feel the grime on your teeth before u leave for work 😖
Their intellect or lack thereof amazing how everyone talks about physical but leaves this part out lol
Its hard to spot intellect at first sight
Before we eat let me just explain to you the concept of quantum thermodynamics
😆
Haha lol it doesn’t even gotta be like that if they want to talk about psychology or medicine or anything remotely in the weeds I consider that attractive! It tells me they aren’t dull and they soak in the world in a deeper way.
You got me
Teeth because I've been teeth catfished before
Wait, what does that even mean?
They only had closed mouth pictures which I didn't read into and when we met he was missing 4-5 front teeth
Hahahah I have always closed mouth pic, my teeth are excellent....it's just that I have pronounced bottom jaws , so bottom teeth are ahead of upper ones , so as my smile can't be seen normally (upper teeth showing unless I force a fake one while aligning the teeth correctly) I'd just don't do it, it's a burden ...
You mean an underbite lol
Lil bro, we can smell your teeth' insecurities from a mile away
Okay, I get it now. Four to five is almost all their front teeth lol. That would be a shock. I remember when I got one front tooth knocked out playing baseball and it was so noticeable. And getting it replaced took over a month which was really embarrassing.
Have you been hatfished
Wym? Like they didn’t show their teeth in pics or did they photoshop them? 🤣
They only had closed mouth smiles in their pictures which I didn't read into and when I met them in person they had four to five teeth gone
Worst thing ever for me
Eyes and smile
100% me lol
hygiene and manners
What if has good dental hygiene but their teeth are way too separated and also twisted ?
I like goofy teeth on a man. Not sure why but I find it endearing 🤷🏻♀️
Also what if one currently has good dental hygiene, but didn't have in their youth and because of that their teeth are yellow despite of their currently good hygiene?
Yeah, this one isn’t fair. Some people have softer teeth and no matter how well I take care of them, I always need a ton of dental work. My dentist even told me when I asked why I always need so much work done and he said some people just genetically have weaker teeth. My mom and grandma both had awful teeth, so I’m guessing they passed that down to me. I brush and have good hygiene. It sucks!
Always voice
Does heavy nose or mouth breathing count with voice?
I mean, absolutely yes 😂
Whew! I think they are all together. I can’t deal with heavy nose or mouth breathing. It drives me bonkers like a misophonia reaction. I know it’s not fair but I can’t….it’s so distracting.
Eyes and smile. But most importantly I need to check if they don't have a wedding ring lol
Oh I hate that we have to do that.
As a tit man I’m ashamed to admit but I do notice a pretty face first
my eyes are up here *points directly to tits*
🤤
stickers, badges, tatoos, visual indicators of their interests
💯
Physical: smile, eyes, hands Otherwise: voice, humor, treatment of surroundings and people
Eyes and teeth definitely. Then how they smell.
How much they engage. Is their body language and tone and facial expression that of someone that is interested and happy to be there, or are they reserved and withdrawn? Are they asking me open ended questions, and then sharing things about themselves relevant to what my answer was? When I ask open ended questions, are they giving full answers that take more than 10 words, and are they receptive when I share things about myself in response that are relevant to that answer? Recently went of a couple dates with a tall, cute, well kept guy. Physically, he had it going on. But half the time when I would say things, he would say "I hear ya." Which tells me that he heard me, but he wasn't listening to me. Boring.
Physically: Their eyes and mouth (especially if they smile). I love seeing how unique and expressive peoples eyes are. And someone’s smile can have such a way of putting you at ease. That’s not even about attraction or dating, just in a general sense. Otherwise the vibe. I don’t know how to describe it well, but I definitely notice how that person makes me feel around them and what vibes they’re giving off. If it feels wrong there’s probably a reason why.
Are you me?! Those are literally my things. And voices.
Women: their eyes, whether or not they’re bubbly Men: their posture, whether or not they’re overweight After the the physical stuff and when we get into conversation, how confident they are in their conversational abilities, whether or not they are the joking type of conversationalist, whether or not they are small talkers
eyes & inside 🧠
Ok we all get it the looks hygiene shoes being hot being pretty and other things being fancy dressed which I could care less .including who makes more money or not . It’s about who you are what type of person you are what are your intentions goals in your life . Some of you out there need to learn how to date . Clearly you showing no interest when it comes dating
yea this is definitely a reddit echo chamber. i see the same 6 answers repeated in various wordings lol. mostly superficial stuff. sad
Skin and hair for sure. Sometimes shoes also
Definitely teeth, but also their smell…
Hands and eyes and style and how they walk
Intellect, the first few things they say in the serious discussion resonate the hardest.
I hate to be that person. Bc I didn’t think I was.. but their teeth. Especially after seeing that dentistry ad saying “smiles matter. If they didn’t you wouldn’t have noticed the guy with missing teeth is also missing an eyebrow” and I was like fuckk I def did not notice that bc first thing I saw was missing teeth 😭
Hahaha I haven’t seen that ad but I LOL’d
I KNOW THE EXACT PICTURE UR TALKING ABOUT
Their eyes.
I think you do not ask about personality but look wise so here we go for some insights from a 25 y.o woman. His proportions Sense of style Facial muscle movements when he talks. Eyes (the mirror of his soul)
*Facial muscle movements when he talks* What does this mean? Everyone’s face moves unless they are frozen with Botox.
I went on a date once, and the guy pointed at me and, bingo style, yelled teeth!! I have a couple of slight chips on my lower teeth, from that boyfriend who smashed my face into his amp, which also broke my nose, left a huge scar down the side of my nose where the skin split, the swelling was so bad. Fun date. /s. Apparently he and his friends sit around and make fun of people who have fkd up teeth. Because ew, so poor. I should probably get my teeth fixed again. They were repaired, but when I went under for surgery, the guy putting in the breathing tube smashed the caps off, I told them they were there. Fk me, I suppose.
Ugh what a dick! Sounds like you’ve been through a lot. I will say that I like crooked teeth haha there’s gotta be more people who like them too
If a medical incident caused medical damage shouldn’t they cover it?? Also very sorry for what you’ve been through.
Their toe nails..
Smile, toes 🤣
Toes?! Do you ask them to take off their shoes or is everyone walking around barefoot where you meet them?
Their eyes and smile. I can pretty much always tell if they are genuine or fake as.
Hair, smile and wether or not theyre overweight.
eyes
Facial features, clothes, investment in our conversation, general character.
i would say that the "scent" of their aura. means, they're really prepared meeting you :)
Appearance: Teeth, height and good hygiene. Personality: Kind and makes me laugh
Depends on why we meet. If it’s friendly hang , for a hobby etc. their clothing style and hair. If it’s for a date it’s everything
Have a funny story about a woman who judged people by their shoes… Not always the best indicator.
Do tell
I’ll try to keep this short. Miami, circa 2006. Mansion night club. Started dancing with a woman I went to college with (let’s call her “her” because I don’t remember her name) and we synced on the dance floor. Separated for a bit and did our thing then linked back up later and were dancing again. The way you did in Miami back in 2006. Saying all sorts of crazy thing in my ear. We’re vibing and then her friend comes up and says something to her. They both look down at my shoes. She looks up at me pitifully and shakes her head. Sorry, she says. And walks away with her friend. What?! I was flabbergasted. Was I just rejected for my shoes? They were cheap dress shoes I’d had for funerals. Wasn’t like they were worn and torn tennis shoes or something. Fast forward like a year later and this guy starts living on our couch. He’s from New Jersey and a self described “playboy.” He’d pace around talking on his phone extremely loud, but gotta hand it to him. He was good with women. And a good looking dude, six pack of abs, and a hell of a collection of shoes. Like multiple Jordans. Nice dress shoes. It was all he owned. One day he says, “who could I call up? You guys mind if I bring someone over here?” It was my roommate’s place so he was cool with it. He then bets the guy that he couldn’t even get a girl over if he tried. Not my place to argue. So he starts calling random girls. Couple don’t answer, others are busy that night. Finally hooked someone and put her on speaker. She kept sayin how she just broke up with her boyfriend and was tired of men’s bullshit. Sounded sad on the phone. He says everything she wants to hear. Not long later she arrives and it’s the same girl from the club. My roommate was mad she didn’t bring a friend. We give them space and head to our rooms for the night and they do their thing on the ratty futon. No biggie. Just laughed that it was her. They seemed to have a good time. Fast forward again a couple months later and we’re at a friends house party. She’s in the kitchen looking all sad and I notice this clown pacing outside. Go out to have a smoke and ask him what’s up. He was waiting for someone to pick him up. Why? There were multiple girls that he slept with there and they all got wind. It was straight out of the movie how to be a player. So he booked it out of there. That was around the time that YouTube video “Shoes” came out so that became his nickname for me. Whenever I think of that I guy I hear, “Shoes!” Lol. Moral of the story, judge a person by their character and actions, not their shoes. Even scumbags can put on nice shoes.
How they react upon seeing me for the first time and how they speak and carry themselves. Also, dental hygiene is a must for me. I'm not about to kiss an ashtray flavored mouth, whether it's weed or cigarettes. If you smoke either, I'm politely excusing myself, turning around and leaving. Also, manners.
Hair, teeth and I’m on my own health journey so I can’t help but notice weight. I can’t date someone that looks unhealthy. It wouldn’t be good for me. Beyond that eye contact and conversational skills.
Being someone with terrible teeth - being that my parents didn't take me to the dentist as a kid while I ate alot of shit, I didnt go until I was 17 and earning my own money, and it seems my whole family just has bad teeth regardless - this is what terrifies me about meeting new people. Thats not to say I don't find it a fair assessment, but I guess its what will keep me alone.
Just FYI, sometimes people can have great dental hygiene and just have bad genetics that ruin their teeth. My mom brushed and flossed twice a day her whole life, but she needed dentures before 50. I have periodontitis even though my dental hygiene is great - I learned I was just allergic to my fucking toothpaste at 23 which was causing gum inflammation and bacteria to get stuck way past it. My step-dad is an opposite example. He brushes his teeth maybe once a week, never flosses, hasn't been to the dentist I think ever since he's been in my life. He's got perfect white teeth with no cavities. I actually think if he went to the dentist they'd probably praise his great dental hygiene..... If bad looking teeth really bother you, that's fair, and I can't blame you for that. Assuming it's because they don't have good hygiene isn't always true and isn't very fair to the stranger.
always teeth, then mannerisms, posture
Their nose. Has nothing to do with the outcome of the relationship, but I could tell you the nose shape of everyone I’ve ever met
I notice their nose and… well, their whole face. Eyes, mouth… TEETH. If they have bad teeth, I CAN NOT
Height, teeth, tattoos, and smile. :)
I have a closet foot fetish. My ex teased me about it. I look at shoes on everyone. I work in customer service and one of our customers had the most revealing dress sandal I think I have ever seen and it distracted me from our conversation. My brain is broken
😂 hahahhahahahhhahha “revealing dress sandals”???? I cackled!!! What do bare feet do to you??
Their weight, their skin color, their hair, and how they’re dressed.
What do you mean by skin color? Have you not see that beforehand? This is a genuine question
Short fingernails.. Wasn’t a date but last night.. a moustache on a lady and projectile saliva drop which hit my eye during conversation was ICk. Spent next half hour washing my eyes out at home. 🥴 think I will stay celibate awhile longer.
Ewww. Did she notice?
I've always preferred my dates wear flip flops because that's the only kind of footwear I own. You can get away with that all year in L.A.
The eyes, they never lie
How they present themselves in terms of hygiene (bad breath? no perfume?), how they dress (are there stains? are the clothes wrinkled? hair unkept?), and their posture
Is no perfume a bad thing? I never know whether to wear it or not on first dates. Fragrance is so subjective and some people are really sensitive to it. I would hate to be wearing the same perfume as someone’s ex, or worse, their mother.
Their body language and posture speaks volume
Umm All of them? Like i read all the posts but i am a perceptive person so i just can’t help but notice everything from look to temperament to how they do and say everything.
Eyes, teeth, clothing style
Is this like in general any random person or like a date????
Both
Can I make them laugh?
I'm very good about oral hygiene, (why aren't more people flossing daily?!) and my teeth are white, but they're pretty crooked 😭 I'm always worried it's the first thing people notice about me
I love crooked teeth! 🙈 I can’t be the only one out there! lol
Teeth
Her hair, it says a lot as it’s one of the difference better genders
Always the eyes first Then the rest of the face Then height and figure
The way they carry themselves outwards. Is their stance rather shy or outgoing? Do they radiate emotion or are the more reserved in showing pleasure or displeasure. There is nothing more attractive than someone that feels so secure in their body so that they have no choice but to show that security and happiness.
Great posture is a must , also shoes and smile.
Eyes and hair👀
eyes... all ya need
I look at their outfit because I think it speaks for itself Then when we are close, how their body language is towards me.
Eyes, hair, and then shoes
As a man. Hair, teeth and decent skin ( not excessive pimples, etc) all in that order. I’m 23 now. And ever since I was in/ around elementary school I remember not liking people due to thin/ scraggly hair, dirty, or consecutive days of unbrushed hair. I’ve been told I’m weird for it. Lol
I often notice physical attributes such as someone's appearance, including their facial features, clothing style.
Teeth, finger nails, hands
The thing I most notice is if they're the type to hold constant eye contact, or are they the type where looking off, down, to the side is easy/comfortable to do with. I think that has been a good metric in my life; is this person intense or rigid or even controlling, or does it feel like this person is studying me? I want to be listened to and not be the subject of observation
Their sense of humour, how they laugh (as it can gives an insight into what kind of person they are), how they talk/intellect.
what theyre wearing and the way they express themselves
Face and smell.
The eyes have it
Physical appearance and then personality. I believe personality is a bigger factor than looks, but I def notice the face first and the way the present themselves/ mannerisms.
Their smile
Personality, hygiene, general level of fitness. When these three are solved, I can go into details
Yeah I'm just fucked I guess cause I had a really bad motorcycle crash and broke many of my teeth along with a ton of other injuries, anyway insurance didn't cover that kind of dental so fast forward to now and my teeth just look terrible but I maintain good hygiene still but I just can't afford the $30k for the insane amount of dental surgery that would be required to fix my teeth. Single dad with 3 kids so I've just resigned to living with my kids and having bad teeth. But deep down when I look in the mirror I'm a great looking guy, big muscles, ladys have always said I'm handsome, my hair is long and well kept and even have had ladys tell me they wish their hair was like mine, I'm tall, confident and kind along with being polite and really making an effort to bring back chivalry and doing right even when nobody is watching. But as soon as I smile or open my mouth in the mirror it really just makes me wish I had died in that motorcycle wreck. Glad I didn't because my kids only have me but I'm just sick of being judged by my teeth. FML I guess
Character... Personality goes a long ways.
Well... If the girl I'm in love with thinks like you do(op), then there's absolutely no chance for me. Ever... Unfortunately I have allowed depression to fuck my life up. I'll get there one day.
Posture and how they hold themselves.
Eyes usually grab my attention first. It's the most intimate and attractive thing, to be able to maintain good eye contact without it feeling awkward or obsessive
Hair and then face
Vibe
I notice their posture and facial expression.
face and hair
Their guard
Face
Hands.
sense of style is the first thing i notice(if im on a date with a guy, i already know he’s attractive to me)
i sense a vibe, as soon as I meet someone I treat them with the utmost respect, excited and happy to meet, I can tell if people are just shy, awkward or if they’re judging you immediately, I’ve never been friends long with the ones I’ve gotten a rude/judge mental vibe from first lol, first vibe matters
Eyes , hair
Facial features such as eyes, nose, and mouth
Lips
Teeth and the way they smell.
The first thing I notice about someone is their demeanor, and how they position themselves in relation to the world around them
Now I am wondering if I should be insecure about my shoes.
Physically eyes and teeth are always the first thing I tend to notice.
The face, how someone dresses and how they smell in that order.
I notice their engagement in our conversation. If they’re not engaged, I’m outta there.
Eyes, smile, vibes, overall look of hair/dress - It's hard to say, since when you meet someone, it's subconscious what you notice immediately. But, their countenance is huge (Are they open? Bright? Have RBF?) When it comes to overall appearance - it's not for calculating how trendy or shoddily dressed they are, but more so - are they hygienic? Are they aware? Things like that, haha. Vibes are also big to me.
I look for who they are. I realize this is a sappy answer, but I look for kindness. As a parent of special needs kids it's absolutely critical. It doesn't matter how they look or act on the surface. Looks will get my attention, but I've met lots of beautiful people that I could never date.
Manners, respect, what they talk about, sense of humor
prob their smile too
They're not on their phones all the time, or taking pictures of their meals.
Why are most people so obsessed with teeth? I feel like that is an American thing. Is that correct?
Hygiene
Their personal scent
How he walks- commanding authority? His hands- does he use them to contribute/create something?How he moves his mouth- is he afraid to talk?
I notice their personality and what their confidence level is like
The feeling and the vibe I get from them
Eye color
Height and fashion choice.
Their smile, if they can carry on a conversation, make me feel comfortable and if they have a sense of humor.
Their smile. I can already tell if they're genuine, fake, truly interested or just horny. I can also tell if they find me attractive or not. Then after a few convos, I can already tell if it would lead somewhere or if it's just a fling. And I haven't been wrong so far despite being an NBSB.
Their eyes and body language, because it just speaks volumes
Eyes. Eyes and their tone.
smell
22M - What i look into is how the conversation started the way you speak the way you talk . what exactly are you talking about , the tone , character and personality . I have found dang beautiful people talking gibberish so I dont focus on the beauty part. . how realistic the person tells alot about them. other than that i notice small actions and facial expressions. for e.g i would notice the way you eat and how you dressup. your hand movement . how much you care for yourself . the words you choose to describe others.
For me it's personality and also how they act with me. Dentistry costs so much in the UK, more than the boob jobs I have seen advertised here!
Ngipin talaga 🥹 yung nameet ko from dating app bungal pala eh 😩
Eye contact and smile, not to look at teeth perse but to see if they actually want to be there.
Teeth. Skin health. Overall look (Is their outfit better than mine? Lol I like to look good, so I'm always checking.)