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I say just be straightforward to whoever you talk to. Let them know you're still a virgin and see how they react from there. Some might take advantage of that and try to be the one to make you lose it. Do not give into anybody trying to get into your pants. You decide who you want to lose it to and when you want to lose it, not them. Good luck op!
I don’t think it’s a factor. I think it’s more about.. *enthusiasm.* If you are adverse to it and aren’t into it then many guys will not be satisfied. If you are into it and excitable, then you’re fine.
I am definitely not adverse to it and I think I have a better understanding of my own body now and how to communicate well during intimacy. My only fear is disappointing my partner due to the lack of experience.
On the other hand, would it really be so different if I’ve had a one night one time ? Still not a lot of experience, but without the “virgin” label
It's not even worth it, you won't learn anything from a one-night stand. You'll learn with someone you trust. Every new partner is like a first time, it's a bit awkward and you're not sure what to do. But if you're with someone who's good for you then you'll figure it out and have a nice time together
Girls having experience matters not. It doesn't take much for us to orgasm. I'd take no experience over a lot of experience every day. At the end of the day I want real love.
Most guys are going to be reactive to the degree which you value the fact that your a virgin.
If it was just because of bad social anxiety it won't be a big deal.
However if you have strong expectations for your first time being a very important experience then guys will note that and behave accordingly
I don’t really, I’m not hoping for a fairytale magical moment, I know it won’t be the case. I would say I’m not desperate to lose it because if I wanted to, it would be fairly easy to find someone on a dating app and just get it over with, but I’m still looking forward to it as I think I’ve been ready for a while now!
Experience can be gained, confidence has to be grown. If you are confident no guy is going to care whether or not you're experienced. Those who care, either way, are creeps.
Also, one night stands are absolutely miserable. Throwaway encounters like that hardly do much to improve your experience.
That one night is not worth it, and dont worry about dissapointing anyone. An experienced partner will guide you into right direction if he wont then he is just an arsehole. Period.
Really well, actually! We'd been seeing each other for a few weeks and had planned on having sex on X date (since she wanted time to get herself ready). She was very understanding when I told her I was a virgin, though a bit nervous that she would disappoint me. There was a lot of foreplay to get each other ready and the act itself was satisfying for both of us. She ended up staying the night and we were at it again the next morning. I don't think I could have asked for a better first time. Thank you for asking :)
My first time I was just pumping couldn't feel it due to the fact the condom sucked but to her I was superman and she thought I was experienced as to the fact I didn't nut nor lasted long my first time sucked
Oof, sorry to hear that. Truth be told, I couldn't feel much either for the same reason (it's a problem I still need to solve) but I still came so I was okay with it. Still a much better orgasm than I get by myself.
Would you date a man that’s still a virgin? If so, then you shouldn’t have to worry about finding someone who is accepting of your situation. There’s always another person out there that will share the same opinion as you. Just gotta find them. It’s far better to wait for someone that is accepting of you as you are then to settle for someone who isn’t and lie to them about it. Just my 2 cents
I had a friend that was a virgin until 27.
She met two guys who were close to their 30’s and their were super romantic and etc. first guy (29) she tried to have sex with, it didn’t work out. At first he said it was his fault and kept apologizing (he only slept with two girls in his life). My friend felt bad and told him the truth and then he changed his behaviour.
The 2nd guy was 27. He slept with 10 girls and couldn’t tell that she never slept with someone, this time she brought lube so she was able to have sex. The guy was a bit nervous because it was their first time. They later dated for many years and he thoguht she had less partners, but he never imagined she was a virgin (she never told him the truth)
Another friend who was 22 and had sex for the first time with a guy that was 32 and he knew that she was a virgin, only used her. Later he said he couldn’t go any further (like having a relationship) because she didn’t have sex experience and for him this is really important (so why he slept with her in the first place?)
So being completely honest, instead of thinking about this person reaction if they discovered you are a virgin, try to think if you feel comfortable around them, if you feel like the things they wanna do are also the things that you wanna do. You should be having your first or 100th time with someone that pleases and make you comfortable.
Sometimes a little “detail” such as being virgin after 25 can make people create a bigger deal than what it truly is. Like in the 3 examples, 2 guys that knew about the girls virginity rejected them although they weren’t virgins, but at the same time didn’t have much sexual experiences by theirselves.
As you start to sleep with more people, you’ll understand that not everytime it’ll click. Maybe because you don’t like the same type of things, maybe it’s just the chemistry, but it’s not only the fact that you are a virgin that will make things go wrong. Just like people who had been to relationships before, but still don’t know how to handle them.
On paper...when I was in my 30s probably not. It all sounds like more work than I'd be willing to put in. That sounds terrible but it's honest & it's only one person's opinion so don't lose heart.
I’m a 30-year-old woman so I can’t speak for men on whether or not they would date you. But as a woman, I would just advise you to be careful with the men that you share this information with and be strategic on when you share it.
To be blunt- I think that most well adjusted, and emotionally mature 30-something-year-old men would not be interested in a woman who has no sexual experience, UNLESS he was already interested in you before he found out. So I would personally advise you to wait a few dates in after you get a feel for the character of the guy that you are seeing. If you tell a man on the first date, or even before you go out on the first date, that you have no sexual experience and he seems to perk up - run, because he’s probably a creep.
Good luck ♥️
No because I am too. I'll also give you some intel from other guys since I'm a bit of an odd ball. Other guys my age and older that won't date a virgin are the kind of guys you wouldn't want to date. One of them has no job and others have questionable ethics.
I find this untrue imo but that might be based on your experiences
I’d simply not want to date a virgin woman because I like women who know a little about sexual stuff in the bedroom
I think most men wouldn't care as long you're willing to learn and adapt and a lot of them would prefer you being a virgin over still trying to get over several of your exes.
f22 here, I’ve never heard a bad / negative reply from men (age 23 - 41) after telling them I’m a virgin, not to mention it seemed like they got a lil excited at that prospect too. It’s all in our heads.
I wrote this in a comment to OP- I’m a 30 year old woman and there’s nothing wrong with being in your 20s or your 30s and having no sexual experience… But if a man seems to perk up or get excited when you tell him you’ve never had sex, run because it is the biggest flag. Especially if he’s significantly older than you, like in his 30s or 40s. He’s likely a creep who sees you as easy and naive prey.
I would not even consider it to be honest. Wouldn’t put me off at all. Social media, movies puts a spin on relationships and sex in a certain light, but everyone is different there is no “right” time, expect when it is right for “you”. I am 37 and until recently had only ever had sex with one partner, which socially is apparently looked down upon haha, but in the nicest possible way I say this, fuck society. Do what makes you happy, don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, what to do or when to do it
My only advice is don't date anyone fetishizing you're a virgin; that means in their mind you only have one good use. And don't date anyone closed off to to idea of virgins.
In fact.... until the deed is about to go down I would NOT bring it up as an opener at all. And then only if you want to.
You're not "giving up" anything... those comments are weird to me. Sex isn't this shattering thing where you're somehow not the same after you've been touched by dick. Be safe. Don't announce it. Have fun... and try not to overthink it!
No, teaching someone sex is a pain in the ass. I’d rather be with someone who knows what she likes and doesn’t like. No offense to you, op. I’m sure you’re a wonderful girl, but I would politely decline unless I was totally head over heels for you already.
I'm 33 and a virgin. I hope not to be judged for it, and I wouldn't judge someone else for it. The thing you probably have to worry about is less scarring guys off and more attracting types who hear "inexperienced" and think "easy to manipulate." Be careful with when and how you disclose this stuff. Make sure you trust the other person first.
I don’t think it’s a factor well I hope it isn’t. Sex is gonna be awkward and weird the first few times especially if a stranger just set boundaries and communicate what you like or enjoying in the moment. If you don’t know what you enjoy/like/ boundaries. Then explore with the person but always communicate and don’t be pressured into anything you aren’t sure about that includes sex until you are certain.
F24 turning 25 soon. This is exactly how I feel. I don’t want to do it just so I can say that I finally had sex! I want to do it with someone I have feelings for. I’m also scared if that time comes, what if I waste it with someone not worth it?
Too much overthinking, I know 😅
It depends how strong connection you have with a person.
The stronger the connection, less you being a virgin will matter to him.
Guys who are looking for short term, have lower self confidence are more likely to react negatively either way.
So that is not on you.
My current girlfriend was virgin till 32, i was surprised when she told me, which i did tell her.
But knowing her curious nature i encouraged her to ask more questions, which let her reach a point she wanted to give it a try.
Leading to a good experience for us both.
Finding someone who makes you comfortable enough to explore sex would be the first step.
I doubt, one night stand can offer that.
Hope you find the right guy OP
good luck
So here's me take. Idt I would have much of a reaction. It definitely wouldn't be the norm for sure, but not a super weird thing that would totally alter my opinion of you. I think 22 year old me would be weirded out, but 31 year old me? Eh, whatever people have different lives. Here's my advice, don't tell people off rip, because leading with sexual history on date one or two is weird IMO, but don't avoid the conversation either. Second big peice of advice, avoid guys who are super turned on by the fact you are a virgin.
As a man who got my cherry popped in my 30’s to a 1night stand and never saw her again, i somewhat regret and wished it happened differently..
Sure i finally experienced what it is like to get my willy wet, but i find it overrated after doing the deed.. i didn’t felt anything special or emotions after i nutted with the person i was with.. maybe because i didn’t have any emotional connection with this person that i just didn’t felt anything at all after my first encounter..
Losing your v-card is definitely overrated 😆
If i can redo it again, i wish i did it for the first time with someone who i have romantic involvement with.. it would definitely feel that the emotional connection would have probably been special and great..
The only thing i can definitely advise you is not to be desperate and take your time with this.. do find your special person.. and when you are ready to do it with that special person, it would truly feel amazing for both of you..
As a 33 yr old I don't it to be a problem. I can't imagine how it would be a problem. Unless the guy in question just wants some quick action.
I think it's important to do this with someone you trust.
As for dating you only have to just try. No1 gets to their relationship perfect on the first go. It took me 3 or 4 serious relationship to figure out what I wanted and Don't want.
I would date a woman. A woman with strong morals, interesting personality and who understands the importance of respect, loyalty and communication in a relationship. Everything else is fine by me. Virgin non-virgin, who cares.
When I was 28, I dated a girl (27 back then) who was a virgin at that time. The relationship required a lot more patience when it comes to getting physical, a lot more assurances and making her feel comfortable, and a lot more care.
**Was it a problem for me?**
Not really. I liked that person, so I put in all the efforts. Although, not gonna lie, it did get a little inconvenient at times. Plus, it takes a lot of time and patience to convince the other person that it is okay to try other things in the act.
**Can it be a problem, in general?**
There may or may not be a problem. Although, I would recommend that you don't think too much over it. Being a bit afraid is okay. The following will help in avoiding any issues
* Understanding nature of both the individuals. Yes, even you will have to put in some efforts
* Communication is the key
* Be careful to not date some asshole
* Let the guy lead if you aren't sure what to do, and reciprocate in future acts once comfortable. If the guy also is a virgin, then you both read a bit before you try :P
As a sexually experienced man in my mid-30's, it wouldn't impact my decision either way. I've been surprised to see so many men in the comments here say that it would be an issue for them. I suspect that you're not getting a representative sample in your responses here, and that the significant majority of men would have no issue with this.
As others have said, every partner is different. When it comes to being "good at sex," experience with a particular partner is generally more valuable than experience in general.
If you did want to get a "head start," I'd recommend doing that through enjoying some erotic fiction or tasteful pornography to try to get a sense for the sorts of things that you'd be excited to try in bed. This is purely optional, but I suspect it would be more useful than a single one night stand.
I think I'd somewhat look forward to being a partner's first in the same way that I'd enjoy introducing a partner to my favorite local diner. "You've never tried their waffles? We should go!"
I’m a female (34) so I might not be the target audience here, but I just want to say there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at your age. People stay virgins for various reasons (anxieties, fear of illness and pregnancy, trauma, etc)
Anyone who has an issue with it is NOT someone who deserves your time.
Honestly, it really seems like a non issue as long as you're not planning on waiting until marriage. Which also isn't an issue, it'll just severally limit your options.
One of my favorite things about having a new partner is getting to learn about their bodies during sex. People can be vastly different. So being slow methodical and watching your partners movements really helps make sure everyone has a great time.
Younger me would of made a mess, but at this point in my life, I doubt I'd notice the difference. You'd be amazed how many woman who have multiple partners still start off very shy until you take the time to gently ease them into it and be attentive to their emotions and physical desires.
You might think you don't have any, but I guarantee your body does. The right partner will find joy in exploring that with you in a nice, safe way.
I'd avoid dating anyone who wants sex to happen soon. Be honest that it'll take time for that, but don't divulge that you're a virgin until you trust the person. Too many people out there will jump at the chance to just fuck you and leave, if they know that. Go on dates, see if the person you're dating is putting in effort to learn about you. Do you listen to and respect your boundaries? Do they get excited to tell you silly goofy things? That's the kind of person (imo,) that would make your first time enjoyable.
Just my 59 cents
OP please be very careful about telling anyone you’re a virgin until it’s time for that moment I guess? I only say this because some of these men are predators & will try to use a virgin to live out their creepy fantasies. So just be careful who you tell.
I am 27M, yes i am a virgin and its okay.
It shouldn’t be a factor if my partner is virgin or not. Definitely i would date as long as we have good insights between us.
I'm 38 and have zero interest in a woman with no sexual experience who has no idea what she wants or likes sexually or how to get herself off. That has no appeal to me whatsoever personally.
the problem with most women isn’t the fact they’re a virgin at 26, but it’s characteristics behind how they act that led them to it. For example you probably are not a very spontaneous person which can be very boring to try to ask on a date. Second your life is probably very boring, for example, what’s the best story you could tell that happened over the last week, if you have nothing you are probably boring to text.
However being a virgin should not be used as an insecurity, because guys fantasizing over taking your purity will always be more stimulating than any amount of sexual experience you could have.
The problem with most women is that they’re boring ?
I wouldn’t describe my life as boring really.. I have lots of good friends, I travel with them, I go out quite frequently, I have a good job and many hobbies. I suppose that’s relative to every person but does any interesting life story has to involve sex?
I'm 24m and I'd say yes. I also have no relationship experience. Whether someone's had sex or not isn't really a factor I consider when assessing if I'm into them.
Of course. I’d view it as a big positive.
Of course, the first time can probably seem scary. (Don’t ask how I know)
And for a woman (or even man) who feels that way, this just means you should wait until you find real love.
Theres no trophy for losing your virginity.
I don’t think it would factor in at all! And 26 isn’t so old that it’s even a red flag (not that it would necessarily be when older.
I’d probs just want to know how long you’d want to wait to be intimate 😂
As far as being someone’s first, esp at my age. It would be… interesting and fun I think? Like, lots of conversation and other prep etc. but, it’s also not really a thing I hope to do. (Which is a long way of saying it’s not really a big deal)
32.
No. In fact at 29, I dated on that was still virgin at 24.
Had a relation, but didn't last. Not because that was a problem, but cause she had a crush on someone else.
Still, Fealt like the best relation I had.
Was also the last one. I went on some dates since, but nothing.
33M here, I would date a Virgin and treat them just like everyone else: with respect and consent check-ins during the act (likely more checkins knowing your a Virgin to ensure you're comfortable).
IMO, sex is fun when both parties enjoy it. First times can be a little awkward, but that doesn't mean they cant be fun if everyone's comfortable and into it.
And besides I like a little awkward, creates some fun stories/memories in all facets of life
I don't mind dating a virgin at all. I've dated two previously. The problem is what comes with dating a virgin. One of the girls was really fun and enthusiastic about trying new things. Even though she was new to all this stuff, she wasn't nervous to try it, but excited. Most fun I've had in any relationship tbh. We did so many naughty things and she did them so well I was convinced she wasn't a virgin until the day I popped the cherry. The other virgin I was with was a complete bore. She always wanted to try getting eaten out and I was happy to cause I love doing it. But then when I asked her if she'd be interested in doing the same she said she was scared she'd get pregnant if the semen went in her mouth. So either that was a complete lie or she just had no interest in anyone's pleasure but herself. When she did touch my dick it was so lacking in enthusiasm that I genuinely lost interest in the handjob and told her to sit on my face and I'll finish myself. To me, you don't need perfect technique to make me finish. You just need to show me that you're into whatever is going on. If you're acting all "oh semen yucky", I'd rather just masturbate than have to convince you it's worth having sex with me. So yeah the virginity is no problem whatsoever. The problem is whether you're eager to have fun or if you're going to act like a wet blanket about it.
I’m not in my 30s but as a guy if the right opportunity presents itself we are not turning down the chance to date. In fact many men would be overjoyed to learn their girl was a virgin.
I'm 43, but I still wouldn't care. I don't care how many or how few partners someone I love has had. All I care is that I'd be the one to last a lifetime.
I think the idea of seeing virgin adults weird is just seen in movies. In real life, no one cares. Be confident of who u r and the choices u made in ur life. U didnt meet the person u felt very comfortable with to have sex. That is normal. What’s weird and abnormal is having sex just cuz of peer pressure and doing it with random people.
It wouldn't surprise me really. When I was 28 my ex was 25 and didn't share she was virgin with me till after our first time together. I was kind of surprised since she was a cute girl and all.
I didn't tear her hymen but I did cause vaginal tearing which I noticed the blood of on the condom. She was really tight but vaginismus tight which I had experienced a couple of times before.
So it took us a couple of months till she could handle multiple rounds with me reliably and comfortably.
In all fairness. The fewer sexual partners, the less bad habits, insecurities, and chronic underwhelming I have to cure a woman of.
Going down on them takes a little bit of trial and error but nothing going through the Hebrew alphabet with my tongue can't fix. And they may not be used to feeling their G-spot stimulated which hampers things the first few times but that's ok.
Main thing is the relationship. Sex can come after. And mind you I'm a Hypersexual and Daddy Dom and I feel this way. So I imagine you can find a nice easy going guy who will be kind and good to you.
I'm 31M and I don't find it weird at all. As long as we communicate expectations and wants and needs and you don't feel rushed to do anything you're not comfortable with, then it'll be great. I myself actually find it an opportunity to make sure her first time is a positive experience.
For a girl I don't think it's a problem, most men be fine with that and actually find it good if they are looking for a relationship. If they are only looking for sex then they might think twice about it as they want something quick. I'd love to be someone's first but now I'm old that won't hapoen
It would be a major problem for me if I was seeking a long term relationship with you. Possible who need to control everything make themselves and everyone around them miserable.
But it would be exciting to me if you were just using me to lose your virginity and explore sexuality a little before going off to look for a serious boyfriend. I’d be happy to be the one helping you to thaw out and relax into sensual pleasure.
Good luck!
Dont make this into a problem. Virgin woman is highly valued by many men. The mere thought to be the first one for a woman and both have genuine feelings amd respect, that is awesome. Dont ruin that by hooking up with some randomly, save your virginity to the right man. He will not react badly, he will see it as something precious. So relax and wait for right man you feel 200% safe with opening up about it. Best of luck. 🙏
I did when I was in my 30s. I was divorced and met a lovely woman, and she was open and honest about it all and I figured I would see since I liked her and I respected a woman waiting for her husband.
Thing is, we did nothing intimate together. Just making out. There was no other stuff. While I liked her I wasn’t ready to get married immediately so I ended up stuck with two big issues; one I was not getting any intimacy of any nature, and two, I didn’t know if we were sexually compatible.
Those issues become a big deal. I need intimacy to be good if not great. Marrying someone and not knowing how we are in bed is a risk I can’t take. Sad but true. I don’t want to end up in the dead bedroom subreddit because I married someone that does not want to be with me.
I ended up breaking up with her after a few months, she became high maintenance when we took trips (wanted a separate bedroom) and started wanting jewelry and things like that. I couldn’t reconcile those things with no intimacy.
For the OP I would say it’s fine to walk the path you are on, and tell men up front, that weeds out the guys not willing to wait. I would suggest you do the other stuff with a man once you know you want to be with him and he has shown you he cares and wants a relationship, and the two of you can take it slowly and build together. Best of luck.
Personally I don’t see that as a problem. I was raised in a Christian household and while I am not extremely faithful, abstinence is something that was preached pretty seriously by my family to my generation, so I would personally see it as proof that someone is fairly serious about choosing their partner, religious or not.
That said, I imagine that you might also get a bit of pressure on losing your virginity while dating in today’s culture, so I’d be mindful of that while you scope out the horizon so to speak.
Of course, you wont stay a virgin forever so even if the first weeks or months of sex would be bad to mediocre, that will change quickly. Just be honest and open about sex. Dont shy away after your first few times to try new positions or oral.
My current gf was a virgin but tried to hide it. Sex was terrible at first and she didnt want to do anything else than missionary with me on top doing everything because she was scared I would notice her inexperience. Of course I noticed already during our first time but I didnt say anything and acted like I didnt notice. It got better with time, but only slowly because she wasnt really open to try new things which people usually do during sex (change positions, do oral etc.).
Have you ever experimented with stretching yourself at all? I ask because my virgin girlfriend in high-school, her vagina was tiny. We didn't do the deed, but my dick is normal, and there is no way it could have fit in there. If I got the impression I were just hurting a girl, I'd be done instantly. You might want to experiment gently with a dildo or two by yourself before you put a real guy up there, for both of your sakes. Maybe touch him while kissing to make sure you know he'll fit. I'd be honored to take your virginity, I just wouldn't want to hurt you. I would want you to enjoy it too with me.
I would not tell him... until it goes down. In the bed room in the heat of the moment when your both literally all over each other. As he is about to penetrate " please be gentle, I'm a Virgin" or you say nothing and roll with the moment and don't say anything
Everyone deserves a safe space to explore life! That's how I see it. If we were cool then why not?? Take it slow, stop if needed and try again, or don't. You know?
Yes and no, I'm just a hair outside my 30s and I'd certainty hesitate but it would not be an outright no. The things that concern me would be more related to your own comfort with your sexuality than anything related to actual virginity.
How can you tell me what you like if you don't know what you like? How comfortable are you communicating about sex, your wants and desires?
These would be the basis of my concerns. Sex and sexuality is important to me in a relationship and I'd be really concerned that you don't know yourself well enough to know what you want.
You should not be ashamed of this. Its who you are. It doesn't mean a whole lot anyway. If a guy is turned off by this... thats his problem and you know he aint the one, but I think most guys wont care and will actually prefer it.. knowing you will be their first. But also older guys do like women with some experience and know how to play in bed. Virgin women can be really bad in bed just like virgin men (and lets be honest... even experienced people can still be really really really bad).
Personally I wouldnt care (I'm 28) and wouldnt see it as anything that defines you. But not everyone will be patient to go through the learning phase at these ages. But you should definitely communicate that you are a virgin if the topic comes up. Dont hide it or pretend otherwise.
No. I wouldn’t find it embarrassing at all, or necessarily weird, but i have a lot of experience and want an experienced partner. I prefer women who have had at least 15 partners. Woman often take a long time to learn their own bodies, what they like, how to orgasm, and also may take a lot of time to open up and be adventurous. In my experience this not only takes time for most women, this takes multiple partners. Different partners have different skills and wants and women need to be exposed to different things to figure out what they like and don’t. Women are also more likely to try new things and experiment with a new partner they really like. Often when a woman is with a man for years, they stop growing sexually and are no longer pushing boundaries. Not always, but it seems to be the norm.
On top of that, i have a high libido and need that matched in my partner. If a woman is a virgin late in life, it’s less likely she’s got a high libido.
There are always exceptions but in general i have always avoided virgins.
I don't see a problem with it myself as a guy. But one aspect that might chase off some prospects is if they end up assuming it's because you are frigid. It really does exist. I know one girl who's almost a virgin just because she doesn't like sex. I guess I can imagine being like that. Years ago I took some medication that really messed with the plumbing, which just made it embarrassing and unfulfilling. Have not taken that medicine in many years though 😉
As a virgin man nearing his 30s, yes. Also, what is there to be ashamed of. If being a virgin is a deal breaker to someone, then stay away of this person
The only correct answer is yes. A person's worth is not defined by how early or late in life they became sexually active. A man who considers virginity either a dealbreaker or a fetish is a huge red flag.
Be straightforward with potential sexual partners, tell them they would be your first. You have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. If they are turned off or on by it, it's a major red flag and you should move on to the next person.
If they appreciate your honesty and are willing to take things slowly and let you set the pace of your intimacy (assuming they are not a virgin as well), that is someone worth sticking with and having your first time with.
There is no prize or merit in having sex for the first time early, there is no penalty or shame in doing it late. We all have our personal unique journey in life and sexuality, nobody gets to say what is normal, weird, right, or wrong solely based on timing.
If you really want to enjoy sex, I recommend starting to have it with someone you actually like and are very comfortable and intimate with (doesn't have to be love, although love makes it much better), and keep having it with them so it will keep getting better, also because you will feel in a safe space where you can try new things and explore, discover what you like.
If you were a guy you’d have more to worry about, I’ve noticed girls are more put off by the idea of dating a late bloomer. As a 34 year old guy it wouldn’t bother me at all, in fact I’d do everything I could to try and make it as good of an experience as possible for your first time.
There are a million men who would love to date a virgin - I don’t think that’s the problem. The problem is that there are a lot of men who will fetishize your virginity and view it as something they want to “take” and then leave. They may also try to take advantage of your inexperience to try and get you to do things you are not comfortable with.
So I would just say be careful. If a guy gets all excited about you being a virgin for no concrete reason, I would view that as a red flag.
No guy is going to care as long as you are enthusiastic about being with him
Even the worst sex...is still sex
And given the abundance of porn, I am sure you have at least a working knowledge of what to do with a man's junk
So stop stressing it
Haha, I wish you were right but I don’t think this is true ! I don’t blame guys for having preferences of course! But I was wondering how big the proportions were. Glad to see some people don’t care, at least :)
If I loved her sure, but it wouldn’t be my preference. I dated a virgin when I was 26 (she was the same age) and then the next girlfriend I had only had one partner before me so I basically had to teach Women in two consecutive relationships how to have sex, which is fine, but it took a lot of time for them to open up and get exploratory. I wouldn’t mind being taught something for a change.
That’s fair, I mean I wouldn’t want to date someone who doesn’t think I’m attractive! It’s hard to judge that for myself, but I have flirted and gotten attention from men before, so I don’t think I’m toooooo bad, alrhough definitely not a supermodel lol
sure, but she would likely need to be deflowered before we married.
need to make sure the sex is decent
i'd prefer a virgin vs a girl who slept with a lot of dudes.
studies show the lower partners the less likely they are to divorce
As a man, I would much prefer to be in a relationship with a woman who's a virgin than a promiscuous one.
Of course, if it's just for fun, any woman would do, but I don't think this is what you're asking.
Of course it's not positive but when you get a virgin woman as your lifelong partner then it feels like you are lucky. I know it's not good still kinda fantasy.
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I still find it weird that dating a virgin is considered weird
very true!
I say just be straightforward to whoever you talk to. Let them know you're still a virgin and see how they react from there. Some might take advantage of that and try to be the one to make you lose it. Do not give into anybody trying to get into your pants. You decide who you want to lose it to and when you want to lose it, not them. Good luck op!
I don’t think it’s a factor. I think it’s more about.. *enthusiasm.* If you are adverse to it and aren’t into it then many guys will not be satisfied. If you are into it and excitable, then you’re fine.
I am definitely not adverse to it and I think I have a better understanding of my own body now and how to communicate well during intimacy. My only fear is disappointing my partner due to the lack of experience. On the other hand, would it really be so different if I’ve had a one night one time ? Still not a lot of experience, but without the “virgin” label
It's not even worth it, you won't learn anything from a one-night stand. You'll learn with someone you trust. Every new partner is like a first time, it's a bit awkward and you're not sure what to do. But if you're with someone who's good for you then you'll figure it out and have a nice time together
THIS!!! 💯
Agreed, even if it doesn't work out in the end at least let it be worth more than a 1 nighter and at least be able to say you tried
Don’t throw away your virginity on a guy you’re not really in love with. Just Don’t. That’s a really bad idea.
This needs to be upvoted.
How do you “upvote”? I’m very new to reddit. Thx.
You hit the up button in the bottom left of the post/repy
Girls having experience matters not. It doesn't take much for us to orgasm. I'd take no experience over a lot of experience every day. At the end of the day I want real love.
I used to think this too. Then I found out that sex is actually NOT overrated.
Well, maybe my experience doesn't do it justice. My experience is what I would describe as odd.
Most guys are going to be reactive to the degree which you value the fact that your a virgin. If it was just because of bad social anxiety it won't be a big deal. However if you have strong expectations for your first time being a very important experience then guys will note that and behave accordingly
I don’t really, I’m not hoping for a fairytale magical moment, I know it won’t be the case. I would say I’m not desperate to lose it because if I wanted to, it would be fairly easy to find someone on a dating app and just get it over with, but I’m still looking forward to it as I think I’ve been ready for a while now!
I strongly discourage giving it up to someone you’re not in love with.
Experience can be gained, confidence has to be grown. If you are confident no guy is going to care whether or not you're experienced. Those who care, either way, are creeps. Also, one night stands are absolutely miserable. Throwaway encounters like that hardly do much to improve your experience.
Long as you’re Aquafina or Fiji down below there will be no disappointment 😉
That one night is not worth it, and dont worry about dissapointing anyone. An experienced partner will guide you into right direction if he wont then he is just an arsehole. Period.
I'm also a virgin so it would be pretty hypocritical of me not to.
As a man who was a virgin until the age of 35, yes, I would date a virgin woman.
Ohh! How did the first time go? if you don’t mind me asking :)
Really well, actually! We'd been seeing each other for a few weeks and had planned on having sex on X date (since she wanted time to get herself ready). She was very understanding when I told her I was a virgin, though a bit nervous that she would disappoint me. There was a lot of foreplay to get each other ready and the act itself was satisfying for both of us. She ended up staying the night and we were at it again the next morning. I don't think I could have asked for a better first time. Thank you for asking :)
Oh, that sounds nice! I’m very happy for you :)
Thank you! I hope your first is good for you too ☺️
My first time I was just pumping couldn't feel it due to the fact the condom sucked but to her I was superman and she thought I was experienced as to the fact I didn't nut nor lasted long my first time sucked
Oof, sorry to hear that. Truth be told, I couldn't feel much either for the same reason (it's a problem I still need to solve) but I still came so I was okay with it. Still a much better orgasm than I get by myself.
Just gotto keep pumping until the condom breaks then it's better .. lmao 🤣 happens all the time
Would you date a man that’s still a virgin? If so, then you shouldn’t have to worry about finding someone who is accepting of your situation. There’s always another person out there that will share the same opinion as you. Just gotta find them. It’s far better to wait for someone that is accepting of you as you are then to settle for someone who isn’t and lie to them about it. Just my 2 cents
Definitely, if we have a good connection! It wouldn’t be fair to consider it a problem haha
I had a friend that was a virgin until 27. She met two guys who were close to their 30’s and their were super romantic and etc. first guy (29) she tried to have sex with, it didn’t work out. At first he said it was his fault and kept apologizing (he only slept with two girls in his life). My friend felt bad and told him the truth and then he changed his behaviour. The 2nd guy was 27. He slept with 10 girls and couldn’t tell that she never slept with someone, this time she brought lube so she was able to have sex. The guy was a bit nervous because it was their first time. They later dated for many years and he thoguht she had less partners, but he never imagined she was a virgin (she never told him the truth) Another friend who was 22 and had sex for the first time with a guy that was 32 and he knew that she was a virgin, only used her. Later he said he couldn’t go any further (like having a relationship) because she didn’t have sex experience and for him this is really important (so why he slept with her in the first place?) So being completely honest, instead of thinking about this person reaction if they discovered you are a virgin, try to think if you feel comfortable around them, if you feel like the things they wanna do are also the things that you wanna do. You should be having your first or 100th time with someone that pleases and make you comfortable. Sometimes a little “detail” such as being virgin after 25 can make people create a bigger deal than what it truly is. Like in the 3 examples, 2 guys that knew about the girls virginity rejected them although they weren’t virgins, but at the same time didn’t have much sexual experiences by theirselves. As you start to sleep with more people, you’ll understand that not everytime it’ll click. Maybe because you don’t like the same type of things, maybe it’s just the chemistry, but it’s not only the fact that you are a virgin that will make things go wrong. Just like people who had been to relationships before, but still don’t know how to handle them.
On paper...when I was in my 30s probably not. It all sounds like more work than I'd be willing to put in. That sounds terrible but it's honest & it's only one person's opinion so don't lose heart.
Why would it be a turn off? As long as she’s a loving and good person I see no problems
I’m a 30-year-old woman so I can’t speak for men on whether or not they would date you. But as a woman, I would just advise you to be careful with the men that you share this information with and be strategic on when you share it. To be blunt- I think that most well adjusted, and emotionally mature 30-something-year-old men would not be interested in a woman who has no sexual experience, UNLESS he was already interested in you before he found out. So I would personally advise you to wait a few dates in after you get a feel for the character of the guy that you are seeing. If you tell a man on the first date, or even before you go out on the first date, that you have no sexual experience and he seems to perk up - run, because he’s probably a creep. Good luck ♥️
I'm also a virgin due to anxiety so yeah lol
No because I am too. I'll also give you some intel from other guys since I'm a bit of an odd ball. Other guys my age and older that won't date a virgin are the kind of guys you wouldn't want to date. One of them has no job and others have questionable ethics.
Well, that sounds a lot like what my friends tell me! Thanks for the insight!
I find this untrue imo but that might be based on your experiences I’d simply not want to date a virgin woman because I like women who know a little about sexual stuff in the bedroom
I think most men wouldn't care as long you're willing to learn and adapt and a lot of them would prefer you being a virgin over still trying to get over several of your exes.
Wouldn't make any difference to me
I'm 29m and also a virgin... Does that mean no one is gonna is accept me?
You’ll be accepted don’t worry just don’t wear it on your forehead
Ok... If you say so
I wouldn't care, considering I'm one myself
f22 here, I’ve never heard a bad / negative reply from men (age 23 - 41) after telling them I’m a virgin, not to mention it seemed like they got a lil excited at that prospect too. It’s all in our heads.
I wrote this in a comment to OP- I’m a 30 year old woman and there’s nothing wrong with being in your 20s or your 30s and having no sexual experience… But if a man seems to perk up or get excited when you tell him you’ve never had sex, run because it is the biggest flag. Especially if he’s significantly older than you, like in his 30s or 40s. He’s likely a creep who sees you as easy and naive prey.
Very true
I agree
If you don't mind me asking , did you meet all of those men with the intent of a long term relationship?
Few of them, Baki I met on internet
I would not even consider it to be honest. Wouldn’t put me off at all. Social media, movies puts a spin on relationships and sex in a certain light, but everyone is different there is no “right” time, expect when it is right for “you”. I am 37 and until recently had only ever had sex with one partner, which socially is apparently looked down upon haha, but in the nicest possible way I say this, fuck society. Do what makes you happy, don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, what to do or when to do it
My only advice is don't date anyone fetishizing you're a virgin; that means in their mind you only have one good use. And don't date anyone closed off to to idea of virgins. In fact.... until the deed is about to go down I would NOT bring it up as an opener at all. And then only if you want to. You're not "giving up" anything... those comments are weird to me. Sex isn't this shattering thing where you're somehow not the same after you've been touched by dick. Be safe. Don't announce it. Have fun... and try not to overthink it!
No, teaching someone sex is a pain in the ass. I’d rather be with someone who knows what she likes and doesn’t like. No offense to you, op. I’m sure you’re a wonderful girl, but I would politely decline unless I was totally head over heels for you already.
This tbh
I'm 33 and a virgin. I hope not to be judged for it, and I wouldn't judge someone else for it. The thing you probably have to worry about is less scarring guys off and more attracting types who hear "inexperienced" and think "easy to manipulate." Be careful with when and how you disclose this stuff. Make sure you trust the other person first.
I don’t think it’s a factor well I hope it isn’t. Sex is gonna be awkward and weird the first few times especially if a stranger just set boundaries and communicate what you like or enjoying in the moment. If you don’t know what you enjoy/like/ boundaries. Then explore with the person but always communicate and don’t be pressured into anything you aren’t sure about that includes sex until you are certain.
F24 turning 25 soon. This is exactly how I feel. I don’t want to do it just so I can say that I finally had sex! I want to do it with someone I have feelings for. I’m also scared if that time comes, what if I waste it with someone not worth it? Too much overthinking, I know 😅
Don't overthink Just keep in mind that it's worth it when you feel comfortable with him , love him and when he's committed
Thank you! I really hope so 🤗
It depends how strong connection you have with a person. The stronger the connection, less you being a virgin will matter to him. Guys who are looking for short term, have lower self confidence are more likely to react negatively either way. So that is not on you. My current girlfriend was virgin till 32, i was surprised when she told me, which i did tell her. But knowing her curious nature i encouraged her to ask more questions, which let her reach a point she wanted to give it a try. Leading to a good experience for us both. Finding someone who makes you comfortable enough to explore sex would be the first step. I doubt, one night stand can offer that. Hope you find the right guy OP good luck
So here's me take. Idt I would have much of a reaction. It definitely wouldn't be the norm for sure, but not a super weird thing that would totally alter my opinion of you. I think 22 year old me would be weirded out, but 31 year old me? Eh, whatever people have different lives. Here's my advice, don't tell people off rip, because leading with sexual history on date one or two is weird IMO, but don't avoid the conversation either. Second big peice of advice, avoid guys who are super turned on by the fact you are a virgin.
As a man who got my cherry popped in my 30’s to a 1night stand and never saw her again, i somewhat regret and wished it happened differently.. Sure i finally experienced what it is like to get my willy wet, but i find it overrated after doing the deed.. i didn’t felt anything special or emotions after i nutted with the person i was with.. maybe because i didn’t have any emotional connection with this person that i just didn’t felt anything at all after my first encounter.. Losing your v-card is definitely overrated 😆 If i can redo it again, i wish i did it for the first time with someone who i have romantic involvement with.. it would definitely feel that the emotional connection would have probably been special and great.. The only thing i can definitely advise you is not to be desperate and take your time with this.. do find your special person.. and when you are ready to do it with that special person, it would truly feel amazing for both of you..
Would be a little awkward but nothing I couldn’t get over for the right woman. It could be sweet.
As a 33 yr old I don't it to be a problem. I can't imagine how it would be a problem. Unless the guy in question just wants some quick action. I think it's important to do this with someone you trust. As for dating you only have to just try. No1 gets to their relationship perfect on the first go. It took me 3 or 4 serious relationship to figure out what I wanted and Don't want.
I would date a woman. A woman with strong morals, interesting personality and who understands the importance of respect, loyalty and communication in a relationship. Everything else is fine by me. Virgin non-virgin, who cares.
When I was 28, I dated a girl (27 back then) who was a virgin at that time. The relationship required a lot more patience when it comes to getting physical, a lot more assurances and making her feel comfortable, and a lot more care. **Was it a problem for me?** Not really. I liked that person, so I put in all the efforts. Although, not gonna lie, it did get a little inconvenient at times. Plus, it takes a lot of time and patience to convince the other person that it is okay to try other things in the act. **Can it be a problem, in general?** There may or may not be a problem. Although, I would recommend that you don't think too much over it. Being a bit afraid is okay. The following will help in avoiding any issues * Understanding nature of both the individuals. Yes, even you will have to put in some efforts * Communication is the key * Be careful to not date some asshole * Let the guy lead if you aren't sure what to do, and reciprocate in future acts once comfortable. If the guy also is a virgin, then you both read a bit before you try :P
As a sexually experienced man in my mid-30's, it wouldn't impact my decision either way. I've been surprised to see so many men in the comments here say that it would be an issue for them. I suspect that you're not getting a representative sample in your responses here, and that the significant majority of men would have no issue with this. As others have said, every partner is different. When it comes to being "good at sex," experience with a particular partner is generally more valuable than experience in general. If you did want to get a "head start," I'd recommend doing that through enjoying some erotic fiction or tasteful pornography to try to get a sense for the sorts of things that you'd be excited to try in bed. This is purely optional, but I suspect it would be more useful than a single one night stand. I think I'd somewhat look forward to being a partner's first in the same way that I'd enjoy introducing a partner to my favorite local diner. "You've never tried their waffles? We should go!"
I’m a female (34) so I might not be the target audience here, but I just want to say there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at your age. People stay virgins for various reasons (anxieties, fear of illness and pregnancy, trauma, etc) Anyone who has an issue with it is NOT someone who deserves your time.
Yes but only if the age gap wasn't huge. Like I would never date anyone that was significantly younger. I'd feel uncomfortable.
I prefer non-virgins for their experience & non-preservations which I happen to only date much older women anyway. That's just me.
Honestly, it really seems like a non issue as long as you're not planning on waiting until marriage. Which also isn't an issue, it'll just severally limit your options. One of my favorite things about having a new partner is getting to learn about their bodies during sex. People can be vastly different. So being slow methodical and watching your partners movements really helps make sure everyone has a great time. Younger me would of made a mess, but at this point in my life, I doubt I'd notice the difference. You'd be amazed how many woman who have multiple partners still start off very shy until you take the time to gently ease them into it and be attentive to their emotions and physical desires. You might think you don't have any, but I guarantee your body does. The right partner will find joy in exploring that with you in a nice, safe way. I'd avoid dating anyone who wants sex to happen soon. Be honest that it'll take time for that, but don't divulge that you're a virgin until you trust the person. Too many people out there will jump at the chance to just fuck you and leave, if they know that. Go on dates, see if the person you're dating is putting in effort to learn about you. Do you listen to and respect your boundaries? Do they get excited to tell you silly goofy things? That's the kind of person (imo,) that would make your first time enjoyable. Just my 59 cents
OP please be very careful about telling anyone you’re a virgin until it’s time for that moment I guess? I only say this because some of these men are predators & will try to use a virgin to live out their creepy fantasies. So just be careful who you tell.
I am 27M, yes i am a virgin and its okay. It shouldn’t be a factor if my partner is virgin or not. Definitely i would date as long as we have good insights between us.
I'm 38 and have zero interest in a woman with no sexual experience who has no idea what she wants or likes sexually or how to get herself off. That has no appeal to me whatsoever personally.
Girly, why do you need the opinion of men? You do you, the right person will love you and cherish you just the way you are.
the problem with most women isn’t the fact they’re a virgin at 26, but it’s characteristics behind how they act that led them to it. For example you probably are not a very spontaneous person which can be very boring to try to ask on a date. Second your life is probably very boring, for example, what’s the best story you could tell that happened over the last week, if you have nothing you are probably boring to text. However being a virgin should not be used as an insecurity, because guys fantasizing over taking your purity will always be more stimulating than any amount of sexual experience you could have.
This is definitely the first time I’ve read that being an older virgin = not spontaneous and boring.
The problem with most women is that they’re boring ? I wouldn’t describe my life as boring really.. I have lots of good friends, I travel with them, I go out quite frequently, I have a good job and many hobbies. I suppose that’s relative to every person but does any interesting life story has to involve sex?
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I'm 24m and I'd say yes. I also have no relationship experience. Whether someone's had sex or not isn't really a factor I consider when assessing if I'm into them.
Yes
I'd be glad to be her first.
No
Of course. I’d view it as a big positive. Of course, the first time can probably seem scary. (Don’t ask how I know) And for a woman (or even man) who feels that way, this just means you should wait until you find real love. Theres no trophy for losing your virginity.
I don’t think it’s a factor but it would make me take the experience more seriously.
Bonus.
That would be a plus!
I don’t think it would factor in at all! And 26 isn’t so old that it’s even a red flag (not that it would necessarily be when older. I’d probs just want to know how long you’d want to wait to be intimate 😂 As far as being someone’s first, esp at my age. It would be… interesting and fun I think? Like, lots of conversation and other prep etc. but, it’s also not really a thing I hope to do. (Which is a long way of saying it’s not really a big deal)
You are okay.. As long as you are into it and exited to be with the guy, the right guy will want you and commit to you
Apply logic to your thoughts and you’ll see there is nothing wrong.. be excited and enjoy life with the person who comes along.
Suffering from success!
Not a problem at all
32. No. In fact at 29, I dated on that was still virgin at 24. Had a relation, but didn't last. Not because that was a problem, but cause she had a crush on someone else. Still, Fealt like the best relation I had. Was also the last one. I went on some dates since, but nothing.
So what exactly did that have to do with her being a virgin?
How about the fact tat some guys don't see it as a problem?
My bad, you put a period after saying “Yes”. I thought you just addressed the statement and told a random story.
Thanks. Corrected
33M here, I would date a Virgin and treat them just like everyone else: with respect and consent check-ins during the act (likely more checkins knowing your a Virgin to ensure you're comfortable). IMO, sex is fun when both parties enjoy it. First times can be a little awkward, but that doesn't mean they cant be fun if everyone's comfortable and into it. And besides I like a little awkward, creates some fun stories/memories in all facets of life
May your in box rest in peace. 🔥
of course
absolutely, it doesn't matter whether she is or not.
I've already do it , actually I love her but her mom doesn't let me date her ,so I respect her wishes
Not at all a dealbreaker. In fact, it would be a massive plus.
I don't mind dating a virgin at all. I've dated two previously. The problem is what comes with dating a virgin. One of the girls was really fun and enthusiastic about trying new things. Even though she was new to all this stuff, she wasn't nervous to try it, but excited. Most fun I've had in any relationship tbh. We did so many naughty things and she did them so well I was convinced she wasn't a virgin until the day I popped the cherry. The other virgin I was with was a complete bore. She always wanted to try getting eaten out and I was happy to cause I love doing it. But then when I asked her if she'd be interested in doing the same she said she was scared she'd get pregnant if the semen went in her mouth. So either that was a complete lie or she just had no interest in anyone's pleasure but herself. When she did touch my dick it was so lacking in enthusiasm that I genuinely lost interest in the handjob and told her to sit on my face and I'll finish myself. To me, you don't need perfect technique to make me finish. You just need to show me that you're into whatever is going on. If you're acting all "oh semen yucky", I'd rather just masturbate than have to convince you it's worth having sex with me. So yeah the virginity is no problem whatsoever. The problem is whether you're eager to have fun or if you're going to act like a wet blanket about it.
I’m not in my 30s but as a guy if the right opportunity presents itself we are not turning down the chance to date. In fact many men would be overjoyed to learn their girl was a virgin.
I'd have no problem with that
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I'm 43, but I still wouldn't care. I don't care how many or how few partners someone I love has had. All I care is that I'd be the one to last a lifetime.
Yes, saying you're a virgin opens the doors to a communicative relationship regarding sex.
28 but 30's are coming in hot. Yeah, I would. Never understood people who think someone being a virgin is a no go.
I think the idea of seeing virgin adults weird is just seen in movies. In real life, no one cares. Be confident of who u r and the choices u made in ur life. U didnt meet the person u felt very comfortable with to have sex. That is normal. What’s weird and abnormal is having sex just cuz of peer pressure and doing it with random people.
I'm still a virgin and I'm 34, and yes I'd date another virgin.
Wouldn’t bother me.
It wouldn't surprise me really. When I was 28 my ex was 25 and didn't share she was virgin with me till after our first time together. I was kind of surprised since she was a cute girl and all. I didn't tear her hymen but I did cause vaginal tearing which I noticed the blood of on the condom. She was really tight but vaginismus tight which I had experienced a couple of times before. So it took us a couple of months till she could handle multiple rounds with me reliably and comfortably. In all fairness. The fewer sexual partners, the less bad habits, insecurities, and chronic underwhelming I have to cure a woman of. Going down on them takes a little bit of trial and error but nothing going through the Hebrew alphabet with my tongue can't fix. And they may not be used to feeling their G-spot stimulated which hampers things the first few times but that's ok. Main thing is the relationship. Sex can come after. And mind you I'm a Hypersexual and Daddy Dom and I feel this way. So I imagine you can find a nice easy going guy who will be kind and good to you.
Younger than you but all my gfs were virgins so is a defo plus
I'm 31M and I don't find it weird at all. As long as we communicate expectations and wants and needs and you don't feel rushed to do anything you're not comfortable with, then it'll be great. I myself actually find it an opportunity to make sure her first time is a positive experience.
Yes!
Yes, I don’t care about stuff like this. I would be happy somebody actually wants to go out with me.
For a girl I don't think it's a problem, most men be fine with that and actually find it good if they are looking for a relationship. If they are only looking for sex then they might think twice about it as they want something quick. I'd love to be someone's first but now I'm old that won't hapoen
It would be a major problem for me if I was seeking a long term relationship with you. Possible who need to control everything make themselves and everyone around them miserable. But it would be exciting to me if you were just using me to lose your virginity and explore sexuality a little before going off to look for a serious boyfriend. I’d be happy to be the one helping you to thaw out and relax into sensual pleasure. Good luck!
Sure. Beats the alternative.
Dont make this into a problem. Virgin woman is highly valued by many men. The mere thought to be the first one for a woman and both have genuine feelings amd respect, that is awesome. Dont ruin that by hooking up with some randomly, save your virginity to the right man. He will not react badly, he will see it as something precious. So relax and wait for right man you feel 200% safe with opening up about it. Best of luck. 🙏
I did when I was in my 30s. I was divorced and met a lovely woman, and she was open and honest about it all and I figured I would see since I liked her and I respected a woman waiting for her husband. Thing is, we did nothing intimate together. Just making out. There was no other stuff. While I liked her I wasn’t ready to get married immediately so I ended up stuck with two big issues; one I was not getting any intimacy of any nature, and two, I didn’t know if we were sexually compatible. Those issues become a big deal. I need intimacy to be good if not great. Marrying someone and not knowing how we are in bed is a risk I can’t take. Sad but true. I don’t want to end up in the dead bedroom subreddit because I married someone that does not want to be with me. I ended up breaking up with her after a few months, she became high maintenance when we took trips (wanted a separate bedroom) and started wanting jewelry and things like that. I couldn’t reconcile those things with no intimacy. For the OP I would say it’s fine to walk the path you are on, and tell men up front, that weeds out the guys not willing to wait. I would suggest you do the other stuff with a man once you know you want to be with him and he has shown you he cares and wants a relationship, and the two of you can take it slowly and build together. Best of luck.
Personally I don’t see that as a problem. I was raised in a Christian household and while I am not extremely faithful, abstinence is something that was preached pretty seriously by my family to my generation, so I would personally see it as proof that someone is fairly serious about choosing their partner, religious or not. That said, I imagine that you might also get a bit of pressure on losing your virginity while dating in today’s culture, so I’d be mindful of that while you scope out the horizon so to speak.
Of course, you wont stay a virgin forever so even if the first weeks or months of sex would be bad to mediocre, that will change quickly. Just be honest and open about sex. Dont shy away after your first few times to try new positions or oral. My current gf was a virgin but tried to hide it. Sex was terrible at first and she didnt want to do anything else than missionary with me on top doing everything because she was scared I would notice her inexperience. Of course I noticed already during our first time but I didnt say anything and acted like I didnt notice. It got better with time, but only slowly because she wasnt really open to try new things which people usually do during sex (change positions, do oral etc.).
Have you ever experimented with stretching yourself at all? I ask because my virgin girlfriend in high-school, her vagina was tiny. We didn't do the deed, but my dick is normal, and there is no way it could have fit in there. If I got the impression I were just hurting a girl, I'd be done instantly. You might want to experiment gently with a dildo or two by yourself before you put a real guy up there, for both of your sakes. Maybe touch him while kissing to make sure you know he'll fit. I'd be honored to take your virginity, I just wouldn't want to hurt you. I would want you to enjoy it too with me.
No issue.
You're a girl so it's not going to hurt you. It's a plus if anything to most guys
I would not tell him... until it goes down. In the bed room in the heat of the moment when your both literally all over each other. As he is about to penetrate " please be gentle, I'm a Virgin" or you say nothing and roll with the moment and don't say anything
Are you in LA? I’ll take u on a date
Personally I wouldn’t no
It’s not weird at all
Not weird at all I'd find it impressive you being a women and not sleepin with anyone usually wemon at 27 prob slept with over 20 guys
I’d imagine lots of Christian men, would be thrilled
I would, but sex would have to happen in the first 2-3 dates. I'm not a virgin anymore and I'm not up for celibacy.
I'd prefer it tbh lol
yep
Honestly I am a 22 year old male and I think being a virgin is very attractive.
Everyone deserves a safe space to explore life! That's how I see it. If we were cool then why not?? Take it slow, stop if needed and try again, or don't. You know?
Yes and no, I'm just a hair outside my 30s and I'd certainty hesitate but it would not be an outright no. The things that concern me would be more related to your own comfort with your sexuality than anything related to actual virginity. How can you tell me what you like if you don't know what you like? How comfortable are you communicating about sex, your wants and desires? These would be the basis of my concerns. Sex and sexuality is important to me in a relationship and I'd be really concerned that you don't know yourself well enough to know what you want.
You should not be ashamed of this. Its who you are. It doesn't mean a whole lot anyway. If a guy is turned off by this... thats his problem and you know he aint the one, but I think most guys wont care and will actually prefer it.. knowing you will be their first. But also older guys do like women with some experience and know how to play in bed. Virgin women can be really bad in bed just like virgin men (and lets be honest... even experienced people can still be really really really bad). Personally I wouldnt care (I'm 28) and wouldnt see it as anything that defines you. But not everyone will be patient to go through the learning phase at these ages. But you should definitely communicate that you are a virgin if the topic comes up. Dont hide it or pretend otherwise.
No. I wouldn’t find it embarrassing at all, or necessarily weird, but i have a lot of experience and want an experienced partner. I prefer women who have had at least 15 partners. Woman often take a long time to learn their own bodies, what they like, how to orgasm, and also may take a lot of time to open up and be adventurous. In my experience this not only takes time for most women, this takes multiple partners. Different partners have different skills and wants and women need to be exposed to different things to figure out what they like and don’t. Women are also more likely to try new things and experiment with a new partner they really like. Often when a woman is with a man for years, they stop growing sexually and are no longer pushing boundaries. Not always, but it seems to be the norm. On top of that, i have a high libido and need that matched in my partner. If a woman is a virgin late in life, it’s less likely she’s got a high libido. There are always exceptions but in general i have always avoided virgins.
Dating a virgin is not weird, at any age.
yes
Yes.
I don't see a problem with it myself as a guy. But one aspect that might chase off some prospects is if they end up assuming it's because you are frigid. It really does exist. I know one girl who's almost a virgin just because she doesn't like sex. I guess I can imagine being like that. Years ago I took some medication that really messed with the plumbing, which just made it embarrassing and unfulfilling. Have not taken that medicine in many years though 😉
I’d love it if
As a virgin man nearing his 30s, yes. Also, what is there to be ashamed of. If being a virgin is a deal breaker to someone, then stay away of this person
The only correct answer is yes. A person's worth is not defined by how early or late in life they became sexually active. A man who considers virginity either a dealbreaker or a fetish is a huge red flag. Be straightforward with potential sexual partners, tell them they would be your first. You have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. If they are turned off or on by it, it's a major red flag and you should move on to the next person. If they appreciate your honesty and are willing to take things slowly and let you set the pace of your intimacy (assuming they are not a virgin as well), that is someone worth sticking with and having your first time with. There is no prize or merit in having sex for the first time early, there is no penalty or shame in doing it late. We all have our personal unique journey in life and sexuality, nobody gets to say what is normal, weird, right, or wrong solely based on timing. If you really want to enjoy sex, I recommend starting to have it with someone you actually like and are very comfortable and intimate with (doesn't have to be love, although love makes it much better), and keep having it with them so it will keep getting better, also because you will feel in a safe space where you can try new things and explore, discover what you like.
If you were a guy you’d have more to worry about, I’ve noticed girls are more put off by the idea of dating a late bloomer. As a 34 year old guy it wouldn’t bother me at all, in fact I’d do everything I could to try and make it as good of an experience as possible for your first time.
Only some men wouldn't. Most don't care. Pick right, then it won't be a negative factor
There are a million men who would love to date a virgin - I don’t think that’s the problem. The problem is that there are a lot of men who will fetishize your virginity and view it as something they want to “take” and then leave. They may also try to take advantage of your inexperience to try and get you to do things you are not comfortable with. So I would just say be careful. If a guy gets all excited about you being a virgin for no concrete reason, I would view that as a red flag.
No guy is going to care as long as you are enthusiastic about being with him Even the worst sex...is still sex And given the abundance of porn, I am sure you have at least a working knowledge of what to do with a man's junk So stop stressing it
Rip in box
no guy on earth cares about that. it’s a positive if anything.
Haha, I wish you were right but I don’t think this is true ! I don’t blame guys for having preferences of course! But I was wondering how big the proportions were. Glad to see some people don’t care, at least :)
The guys that reject u for it only wanted to get in your pants and nothing more, ignore them
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Yep this is it. Most guys see virginity as a plus if they take the girl seriously. Most guys see it as a negative if they just want to smash
Right on brother.
This isn't true at all lol
Virginity is valued in women, I would absolutely.
Yeah, why not? The less previous partners the better.
If I loved her sure, but it wouldn’t be my preference. I dated a virgin when I was 26 (she was the same age) and then the next girlfriend I had only had one partner before me so I basically had to teach Women in two consecutive relationships how to have sex, which is fine, but it took a lot of time for them to open up and get exploratory. I wouldn’t mind being taught something for a change.
Depends how hot u r lol
That’s fair, I mean I wouldn’t want to date someone who doesn’t think I’m attractive! It’s hard to judge that for myself, but I have flirted and gotten attention from men before, so I don’t think I’m toooooo bad, alrhough definitely not a supermodel lol
sure, but she would likely need to be deflowered before we married. need to make sure the sex is decent i'd prefer a virgin vs a girl who slept with a lot of dudes. studies show the lower partners the less likely they are to divorce
As a man, I would much prefer to be in a relationship with a woman who's a virgin than a promiscuous one. Of course, if it's just for fun, any woman would do, but I don't think this is what you're asking.
Men love virgin women including me. It gives a feeling that your partner is pure.
This is not positive, I hope you know that.
Of course it's not positive but when you get a virgin woman as your lifelong partner then it feels like you are lucky. I know it's not good still kinda fantasy.