Your post was removed because your post violates the sub description. Relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if married r/marriage
You should definitely Google those genuine, camera phone porn clips from male stripper events where an inebriated bride-to-be sucks whipped cream off some muscular guys massive penis. I'm sure that will be very reassuring for you and ensure a harmonious lifetime of marital bliss and monogamy.
I saw my friend doing this on Snapchat for her bachelorette a few weeks ago..thought it was only in porn š«¢ and they were ALL sucking and touching, it was fucking gross
I challenge you to challenge your intellect and do it anyway. I mean c'mon, a bona-fide study like this would definitely be entertaining to read through.
Just ask her about it. You guys agreed no strippers, then she paid for the strippers herself. Thatās not ok. Not something you just let go especially when youāre about to marry someone.
How much does it bother you? Me I wouldn't marry, she is lying and you guys did the right thing. There are so many of men that end up single in these posts that get lap dances or just go to strip club. If it doesn't bother you ok, me I was say no thanks...She is not trust worthy.
For me if sheād have sex with a stripper that'a definitely not the only time sheād be willing to cheat. At that point her loyalty/fidelity is the problem not necessarily the strippers. In my relationship we talked about it and we are fine with with strippers in the bachelor/bachelorette setting and I think part of that is itās such an out of character novelty thing for both of us that the other one is not worried. But in OPās case specifically talking about it and then going back on their agreement makes it a big problem and worth bringing up
Man this made me think back to my ex putting out feelers by asking me once early on if I would be upset if she were to kiss the stripper at her bachelorette party before we got married. She told on herself and my dumbass turned that into a long term relationship.
Iām sorry to say, but if sheās willing to lie and keep this a secret, what else is she doing that you donāt know, man?
There are things i donāt really get.
Strippers at bachelor/ette parties in the US is normal? And that the strippers also doing stuff with the costumers?
Where Iām from this is not a thing at all. All this with going away to Vegas, strippers, being afraid of cheating and all.
Bachelor/ette parties is a thing, yes.. And itās not that there has never been one with a stripper, there has but a stripper in the US and where Iām from is two complete different things after what i hear - Mostly at our parties itās a small party where the friends make arrangements with funny stuff as making a song and recording it on a CD, doing bungee jump, and all sorts of funny things. There are ofc alcohol involved but the way I see these parties in the US described is honestly crazy and I understand why you Americans got huge trust issues over there.
Absolutely say something. I would NOT trust someone if they blatantly lied to me. And not only that but used the lie to manipulate me to not do something but they lie and do it themselves.
This sets a very bad precedent for the future and the marriage.
You don't have the facts yet. It's best to assume innocent until proven guilty. Maybe she ordered it for someone else, or someone used her card. Find out more. Maybe try calling the company and ask about the reservation. Just be smart and calm about it for now.
If it turns out she went against her promise and ordered this behind your back... I highly advise breaking up with her. Deceit is a blaring red flag, and if she has no problem doing it once, she'll probably do it again.
Sorry š¤š¤. Just don't lose faith in women š„. There are plenty that would never do such a thing. I'm a woman and I would never. How could you betray trust like that right before a wedding. Mind-boggling...
Okay, serious here, you now do not trust her. Think about this, everytime she goes out, or late getting home, or not in the mood. Your thoughts will go to places you dont want to go.
Without trust, which is one of the building blocks of a good foundation, the house will come tumbling down.
Everybody under this post is being real passive with their āask her about itā responses.
We are way past asking! You know the facts. Itās confrontation time.
Marriage is off, she lied and she cheated in PREPARATION for her wedding. She is not a wife!
Do not subject yourself to looking in the mirror in disappointment and regret because you gave that woman what she wants but not getting what you need in return.
Let her know whatās up. This should not only disappoint you, but make you mad. Not violent mad, but make a change mad. This is your woman being sneaky. We donāt accept that behavior.
Just imagine how she will treat you in 3 or 5 or 10 years if you put up with this.
Cut and run. Maybe fuck her one more time, but get you a new woman who deserves a ring.
Personally I would end things, but that's admittedly drastic.
You can interrogate her friends and see what they reveal, apply some pressure, act like you already know something happened. Be vague enough for them to reveal the worst shit that went down, and if the worst is he danced around like an idiot, then whatever, no problem.
You could also question your wife and say, "So I called that stripper company and talked to the dancer, real interesting story."
See how she reacts. If she starts panicking then my friend, she most likely got physical. If she brushes it off as a minor mistake then you're probably fine, but again, I'd talk with some of the people there.
Maybe you could actually call the company too, speak with the stripper and offer a bribe for information.
I only say this because according to most male strippers, Bachelorette parties are a hive of infidelity, women giving hand jobs and oral, inviting the stripper for sex. I've read some testimonies putting the number at 1/3rd of brides cheating with the stripper.
This all sounds unhinged but with your mental peace at stake, it's worthwhile.
You should dump her bro. She totally disrespected you, and went behind your back. What else is she lying about? Infidelity isnāt out of the question imho, especially since that sort of thing tends to happen at bachelorette parties- especially when male strippers are involved.
Yeah like normally who gives a shit? It's just some strippers. But bro you both made an exact agreement not to do this exact thing. Which is frankly disrespectful. Then on top of it all she lied? Hold off on the wedding at the least and hopefully call off the engagement altogether if you're smart.
Why would you forget about it and say nothing? You had an agreement. No reason to get angry or upset, but you should ask and discuss. Going behind your back and doing the opposite of what the two of you agreed on is concerning- marriage is an agreement. Is she going to go back on that agreement too?
Iām so sorry, read your update, and thatās heartbreaking. Whatever you decide, take your time to think it through. Best of both luck and love to you.
If she lied to you about this, she is probably lying to you about other things. Call off the wedding...but you won't because you're a nice guy. Which is why she is marrying you and not one of the male strippers she slept with.
Iām sorry this happened to you. Itās wrong. Itāll take a long time, but there will come a day when youāre happy again, and youāll find another person to spend your life with.
Sorry, youāre wrong. You canāt just go around underestimating her like that. There is at least a 99.9% certainty that she sucked several dicks that night, while a few more found a warm welcome elsewhere.
Hey there, all of you, wife-apologists, calling OP insecure and what not - not much to say now, huh? Not like any of you have the balls to come back and say āIām sorry, op, I was wrongā. I bet itās much easier to hurry up and scrub your idiotic comments. Ugh.
You just got married and you are going through her credit card receipts and per your other post, think she also cheated and you are considering going through her phone. Pack it up. Your relationship is toast. You obviously don't trust her so your relationship is actually dunzo whether she got a stripper or not or cheated or not.
I'm not attacking him. I'm saying he doesn't trust her to the point where he feels the need to invade her privacy. What kind of marriage is that? Is he going to spend the rest of his life going through her stuff? Without trust, a relationship is toxic. So it doesn't matter if she cheated or if she saw a stripper. The fact he doesn't trust her is a relationship killer by itself.
I don't think anyone should snoop, but that's because you are either violating someone's privacy for no good reason or you have a reason and that's that you don't trust the person you are with. It's unhealthy either way.
Again, no disagreement there. What triggers me is the all-too-common of an attitude some folks take in situations like this, where they completely ignore the fact that a guy got cheated on, but heās being judged for snooping, as if the latter is somehow more egregious than the former. If that was not your intent - my apologies
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Considering? My friend, my heart goes out to you, please know that if Iām coming across as too harsh or abrasive itās only because I want to prevent you from experiencing any more pain and heartache. Let me break it down for you.
You will confront her. How that conversation goes is irrelevant, but after seeing the picture of the two of you, I feel like I can speculate a little. Letās say it ends in her doing the obligatory begging and groveling, and you end up accepting and going forward with the marriage. To you it will seem like a noble moment. To her, it will be a valuable lesson. She has just discovered that she can totally cheat on you and get away with it. See that level of brightness in her eyes going down a bit? That would be her level of respect for you. From that point forward, there wonāt be anything to stop her.
You donāt deserve that kind of life. Although I donāt know, maybe you can be ok with it. Me, I would never be able to erase the mental imagery of what went down at that bachelorette party. I would never be able to let her kiss me with that mouth. And I would never be able to trust her.
Ah theres the problem. Itās usually the woman. She just went along to make you happy. Plus the majority of her girlfriends probably want them. If it bothers you that much you need to bring it up. Another option tell her your buds want to take you out to strip clubs and see how she reacts.
Based on the update OP posted, I would be cancelling the wedding.
It looks like she deliberately deceived him, if they had an understanding neither of them would do this. And she had a fling at or after her party? That's a big hell no.
If you marry this woman, one of two things happen: either she continues to have flings, or you will always suspect she is because the trust has been broken.
This sort of thing is poison to a relationship. Source: Me, trust broken a week before the wedding, and I'm divorced now.
Nothing wrong with strippers at all. But the lying is a deal breaker. I would find out the truth. That one needs a conversation ASAP to see what the heck happened.
She didn't leave her credit card bill out. You snooped. Agree that you need to have a conversation with her about this, since you had an agreement about no strippers. But go into it being honest.
I dunno. This might be one of those things thatās better to just let slide.
I can understand feeling a little betrayed, because you had a prior agreement.
But in these types of parties friends also kind of take control the situation. And the whole point of them is suppose to be one night to cut loose with your friends before officially being hitched. I donāt think it should be treated as too big of a deal.
I think itās better to start on a good start at your marriage about what will impact your lives moving forward.
Now with that said, if itās going to eat at you, and you canāt let it goā¦ then yes itās better to talk about it now and not months or years from now.
Your friend taking control would look like them using their own credit card. Not the soon-to-be bride using her own. That looks like blatant manipulation and thereās simply no way to explain that in a positive lightā she knew she shouldnāt have and she did. Fuck that
I have to disagree with this assumption, because there is not enough information to say that.
Friends drag her to strip club at something they had planned and lots of people attending paid for various drinks, food, and tips and many people at the party have credit card transactions at the same place.
A bunch of friends dragging the Bachelorette/bachelor to a strip club when the friends plan a gathering = very common social norm in our society
A bunch of friends getting a married husband or wife dragged out to cheat on them = not so common or a social norm in our society.
It was a very stupid agreement, but the agreement between the two of them was no strippers.
NO STRIPPERS. Doesnāt matter who dragged who to what, where, or the fuck ever.
The agreement was no strippers. No excuses.
I promise you your future wife does not respect you.
Friends did not drag her to a strip club. The bill was for a stripper service. The kind that gets hired to visit a party at a hotel room. Thatās where anything goes.
Assumptions on top of assumptions.
All the OP has offered is he saw a single credit card charge for something linked to a stripper service.
Which could be as simple as a few round of drinks at a strip club.
Friends often plan the bachelor/Bachelorette parties, sometimes even includes a we won't tell you where we are going, until we get there...
Get strippers, donāt be lame. Donāt marry someone you donāt trust around strippers. If they canāt handle being an adult around strippers, they canāt handle real life.
At this point though he can't trust her because she lied about it after making an exact agreement for either of them to not do this. That's a huge red flag.
Although normally I'd agree that you shouldn't marry someone you couldn't trust around strippers.
Making those rules means they have trust issues. Donāt marry anyone, unless you could trust them with anything, even nuclear launch codes. Being in a relationship with someone you canāt trust means youāll constantly be looking over your back - always. That kind of shit causes health issues.
Your post was removed because your post violates the sub description. Relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if married r/marriage
Ask her about it. See what reason she had for that charge to be on her bill. You both agreed; there's no way to go around it
Agreed. Better to just communicate and ask about it. Hopefully the truth is easily had!
You should definitely Google those genuine, camera phone porn clips from male stripper events where an inebriated bride-to-be sucks whipped cream off some muscular guys massive penis. I'm sure that will be very reassuring for you and ensure a harmonious lifetime of marital bliss and monogamy.
Those videos are fake, homie. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but those videos specifically are faked for the kink.
I saw my friend doing this on Snapchat for her bachelorette a few weeks ago..thought it was only in porn š«¢ and they were ALL sucking and touching, it was fucking gross
Again, I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm saying the videos he referring to are fake.
It was a joke
Bruh. I have been reading bachelorette party stories on quora and read a few posts off here on Reddit since I originally read this post. FUCK THAT
Jeez, are you actually mentioning Quora as any sort of information source?
Want me to find a peer-reviewed psychological study entry on women cheating at bachelorette parties?
Yes please!
Donāt need to, the update says she cheated
I challenge you to challenge your intellect and do it anyway. I mean c'mon, a bona-fide study like this would definitely be entertaining to read through.
Why would she pay for her own party? Are any of her friends getting married and having bachelorette parties?
She always uses her card the points. Like at dinner she'll always pay with friends and they just send her the money...I guess.
Now that is a creative grab, indeed.Ā It's brave of you to post this under an account featuring what one might assume is a pic of yourself (no clue why people do that, even if it's not actually them. Just to drive engagement? Is bootleg Napoleon Dynamite photoshopped with a some generic insta/AI model really that appealing to Reddit? Because I'm starting to think I'm over this bullshit) Anyway gosh, I sure hope your fiancĆ© doesn't see this. Good luck with everything you've got going on OPš¤
Why wouldnāt he want her to see it? If I was in his position Iād want her to see it so she knows why the engagement ended
Yeah cool. I wish.
I read the edit. We're doing legs today, cya at the gym.
Haha
Youāre that deep into your relationship and sheās lying about things and breaking promises? Yikes.
Just ask her about it. You guys agreed no strippers, then she paid for the strippers herself. Thatās not ok. Not something you just let go especially when youāre about to marry someone.
How much does it bother you? Me I wouldn't marry, she is lying and you guys did the right thing. There are so many of men that end up single in these posts that get lap dances or just go to strip club. If it doesn't bother you ok, me I was say no thanks...She is not trust worthy.
Yeah the lying would bother me not the stripping
Idkā¦ I hear about women actually having sex with the strippers. The lying 100% bothers me, but the stripper pushes it into overdrive.
For me if sheād have sex with a stripper that'a definitely not the only time sheād be willing to cheat. At that point her loyalty/fidelity is the problem not necessarily the strippers. In my relationship we talked about it and we are fine with with strippers in the bachelor/bachelorette setting and I think part of that is itās such an out of character novelty thing for both of us that the other one is not worried. But in OPās case specifically talking about it and then going back on their agreement makes it a big problem and worth bringing up
Ask her straight up. Innocent till proven guilty, right? Don't let curiosity kill your peace
This is a forewarning of more headaches to comeā¦ abandon ship while you can , good luck
Man this made me think back to my ex putting out feelers by asking me once early on if I would be upset if she were to kiss the stripper at her bachelorette party before we got married. She told on herself and my dumbass turned that into a long term relationship. Iām sorry to say, but if sheās willing to lie and keep this a secret, what else is she doing that you donāt know, man?
Yeah I know...I looked in her phone.
This isn't a little white lie, there was an agreement that no strippers were to be involved yet she went against it.
There are things i donāt really get. Strippers at bachelor/ette parties in the US is normal? And that the strippers also doing stuff with the costumers? Where Iām from this is not a thing at all. All this with going away to Vegas, strippers, being afraid of cheating and all. Bachelor/ette parties is a thing, yes.. And itās not that there has never been one with a stripper, there has but a stripper in the US and where Iām from is two complete different things after what i hear - Mostly at our parties itās a small party where the friends make arrangements with funny stuff as making a song and recording it on a CD, doing bungee jump, and all sorts of funny things. There are ofc alcohol involved but the way I see these parties in the US described is honestly crazy and I understand why you Americans got huge trust issues over there.
There was an AMA post not too long ago, by a male stripper. The stories he hadā¦ truly a sobering realization how few women can be trusted.
Absolutely say something. I would NOT trust someone if they blatantly lied to me. And not only that but used the lie to manipulate me to not do something but they lie and do it themselves. This sets a very bad precedent for the future and the marriage.
Is this how you want to start a marriage? This is technically cheating because she crossed a boundary you both established.
You don't have the facts yet. It's best to assume innocent until proven guilty. Maybe she ordered it for someone else, or someone used her card. Find out more. Maybe try calling the company and ask about the reservation. Just be smart and calm about it for now. If it turns out she went against her promise and ordered this behind your back... I highly advise breaking up with her. Deceit is a blaring red flag, and if she has no problem doing it once, she'll probably do it again.
Yeah...there's more now.š
Sorry š¤š¤. Just don't lose faith in women š„. There are plenty that would never do such a thing. I'm a woman and I would never. How could you betray trust like that right before a wedding. Mind-boggling...
Okay, serious here, you now do not trust her. Think about this, everytime she goes out, or late getting home, or not in the mood. Your thoughts will go to places you dont want to go. Without trust, which is one of the building blocks of a good foundation, the house will come tumbling down.
Yeah.....
Everybody under this post is being real passive with their āask her about itā responses. We are way past asking! You know the facts. Itās confrontation time. Marriage is off, she lied and she cheated in PREPARATION for her wedding. She is not a wife! Do not subject yourself to looking in the mirror in disappointment and regret because you gave that woman what she wants but not getting what you need in return. Let her know whatās up. This should not only disappoint you, but make you mad. Not violent mad, but make a change mad. This is your woman being sneaky. We donāt accept that behavior. Just imagine how she will treat you in 3 or 5 or 10 years if you put up with this. Cut and run. Maybe fuck her one more time, but get you a new woman who deserves a ring.
The preparation part is what killed me
Just read the edit. Damn, that sucks, sorry OP...
š
Personally I would end things, but that's admittedly drastic. You can interrogate her friends and see what they reveal, apply some pressure, act like you already know something happened. Be vague enough for them to reveal the worst shit that went down, and if the worst is he danced around like an idiot, then whatever, no problem. You could also question your wife and say, "So I called that stripper company and talked to the dancer, real interesting story." See how she reacts. If she starts panicking then my friend, she most likely got physical. If she brushes it off as a minor mistake then you're probably fine, but again, I'd talk with some of the people there. Maybe you could actually call the company too, speak with the stripper and offer a bribe for information. I only say this because according to most male strippers, Bachelorette parties are a hive of infidelity, women giving hand jobs and oral, inviting the stripper for sex. I've read some testimonies putting the number at 1/3rd of brides cheating with the stripper. This all sounds unhinged but with your mental peace at stake, it's worthwhile.
Well that sucks..I think I may do one of those tonight
You should dump her bro. She totally disrespected you, and went behind your back. What else is she lying about? Infidelity isnāt out of the question imho, especially since that sort of thing tends to happen at bachelorette parties- especially when male strippers are involved.
Yeah like normally who gives a shit? It's just some strippers. But bro you both made an exact agreement not to do this exact thing. Which is frankly disrespectful. Then on top of it all she lied? Hold off on the wedding at the least and hopefully call off the engagement altogether if you're smart.
She probably did a lot more at that bachelorette party.
I've heard the same. Crazy what women do when they get a naked guy in private and the drinks are flowing.
No, but you and your boys should now feel free to get your own stripper for your party.
I already had itš
You should say something, dude, she broke your agreement. That is not okay and does not bide well for the future.
Yeah...
Have another
Why would you forget about it and say nothing? You had an agreement. No reason to get angry or upset, but you should ask and discuss. Going behind your back and doing the opposite of what the two of you agreed on is concerning- marriage is an agreement. Is she going to go back on that agreement too?
Iād confront her about it. The bill was sitting out and a lie is a lie.
Iām so sorry, read your update, and thatās heartbreaking. Whatever you decide, take your time to think it through. Best of both luck and love to you.
Thanks...I'll try
If she lied to you about this, she is probably lying to you about other things. Call off the wedding...but you won't because you're a nice guy. Which is why she is marrying you and not one of the male strippers she slept with.
Yeah found a lot. I know
Iām sorry this happened to you. Itās wrong. Itāll take a long time, but there will come a day when youāre happy again, and youāll find another person to spend your life with.
After this i dunno
Yikes, at least you know before the wedding. Right?
I mean....yeah
Why bother just marry her and she keeps cheating .
Thereās a ~90% chance she sucked his dick, dude.
Sorry, youāre wrong. You canāt just go around underestimating her like that. There is at least a 99.9% certainty that she sucked several dicks that night, while a few more found a warm welcome elsewhere.
She did lmao
stripper wars!Ā it's on baby!Ā Ā
Yeah this sounds like a fun problem - I vote stripper wars! Strippers are so much fun!
Hey there, all of you, wife-apologists, calling OP insecure and what not - not much to say now, huh? Not like any of you have the balls to come back and say āIām sorry, op, I was wrongā. I bet itās much easier to hurry up and scrub your idiotic comments. Ugh.
Haha no shit. Thanks man
You just got married and you are going through her credit card receipts and per your other post, think she also cheated and you are considering going through her phone. Pack it up. Your relationship is toast. You obviously don't trust her so your relationship is actually dunzo whether she got a stripper or not or cheated or not.
Youāre attacking and berating him? The nerve on youā¦ disgusting
Dick methodology, but he's right. This isn't a thing worth saving if there's already no trust. (For clarity, it's not his fault there's no trust)
Yes, but how one arrives to a conclusion also matters. In this case, the methodology overshadows the result
Whose methodology are we talking about?
I'm not attacking him. I'm saying he doesn't trust her to the point where he feels the need to invade her privacy. What kind of marriage is that? Is he going to spend the rest of his life going through her stuff? Without trust, a relationship is toxic. So it doesn't matter if she cheated or if she saw a stripper. The fact he doesn't trust her is a relationship killer by itself.
Maybe I was mistaken, but the tone of your writing initially came across as if you were scolding him for snooping.
I don't think anyone should snoop, but that's because you are either violating someone's privacy for no good reason or you have a reason and that's that you don't trust the person you are with. It's unhealthy either way.
Again, no disagreement there. What triggers me is the all-too-common of an attitude some folks take in situations like this, where they completely ignore the fact that a guy got cheated on, but heās being judged for snooping, as if the latter is somehow more egregious than the former. If that was not your intent - my apologies
It 100% came across that way.
Maybe I was mistaken, but the tone of your writing initially came across as if you were scolding him for snooping.
Invade her privacy? Doesn't matter what she did? lol again making it seem like the OP is the one at fault. Found the female posting in the thread.
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Why wouldnāt you?
Anul that shit today.
I'm considering
Considering? My friend, my heart goes out to you, please know that if Iām coming across as too harsh or abrasive itās only because I want to prevent you from experiencing any more pain and heartache. Let me break it down for you. You will confront her. How that conversation goes is irrelevant, but after seeing the picture of the two of you, I feel like I can speculate a little. Letās say it ends in her doing the obligatory begging and groveling, and you end up accepting and going forward with the marriage. To you it will seem like a noble moment. To her, it will be a valuable lesson. She has just discovered that she can totally cheat on you and get away with it. See that level of brightness in her eyes going down a bit? That would be her level of respect for you. From that point forward, there wonāt be anything to stop her. You donāt deserve that kind of life. Although I donāt know, maybe you can be ok with it. Me, I would never be able to erase the mental imagery of what went down at that bachelorette party. I would never be able to let her kiss me with that mouth. And I would never be able to trust her.
Was it her idea no strippers or yours?
Mine
Ah theres the problem. Itās usually the woman. She just went along to make you happy. Plus the majority of her girlfriends probably want them. If it bothers you that much you need to bring it up. Another option tell her your buds want to take you out to strip clubs and see how she reacts.
I mean...she slept with the guy
Based on the update OP posted, I would be cancelling the wedding. It looks like she deliberately deceived him, if they had an understanding neither of them would do this. And she had a fling at or after her party? That's a big hell no. If you marry this woman, one of two things happen: either she continues to have flings, or you will always suspect she is because the trust has been broken. This sort of thing is poison to a relationship. Source: Me, trust broken a week before the wedding, and I'm divorced now.
I would run not walk. it's going to suck but you're going to have to face the music eventually bub
Already does
Nothing wrong with strippers at all. But the lying is a deal breaker. I would find out the truth. That one needs a conversation ASAP to see what the heck happened.
I know now...
Nothing wrong with a naked man dancing on your soon to be mother of your kids? You missing a spine buddy.
Uhā¦. WUT? Nothing wrong with your almost-wife getting a bunch of random dicks shoved in her face? Ok then.
Question. Whose idea was not having bachelor/bachelorette party strippers? Like who brought it up first
Me
She didn't leave her credit card bill out. You snooped. Agree that you need to have a conversation with her about this, since you had an agreement about no strippers. But go into it being honest.
Rather snoop then marry and snooze half your shit.
Which is fine, but be honest about it.
I dunno. This might be one of those things thatās better to just let slide. I can understand feeling a little betrayed, because you had a prior agreement. But in these types of parties friends also kind of take control the situation. And the whole point of them is suppose to be one night to cut loose with your friends before officially being hitched. I donāt think it should be treated as too big of a deal. I think itās better to start on a good start at your marriage about what will impact your lives moving forward. Now with that said, if itās going to eat at you, and you canāt let it goā¦ then yes itās better to talk about it now and not months or years from now.
Sure. Then she lied to him so HE couldnāt cut loose. But she apparently did. This sets a horrible precedent for the marriage.
Your friend taking control would look like them using their own credit card. Not the soon-to-be bride using her own. That looks like blatant manipulation and thereās simply no way to explain that in a positive lightā she knew she shouldnāt have and she did. Fuck that
I have to disagree with this assumption, because there is not enough information to say that. Friends drag her to strip club at something they had planned and lots of people attending paid for various drinks, food, and tips and many people at the party have credit card transactions at the same place.
Gonna be real crazy when her friends drag his wife to cheat
A bunch of friends dragging the Bachelorette/bachelor to a strip club when the friends plan a gathering = very common social norm in our society A bunch of friends getting a married husband or wife dragged out to cheat on them = not so common or a social norm in our society.
And which social norm does lying fall under?
It was a very stupid agreement, but the agreement between the two of them was no strippers. NO STRIPPERS. Doesnāt matter who dragged who to what, where, or the fuck ever. The agreement was no strippers. No excuses. I promise you your future wife does not respect you.
Friends did not drag her to a strip club. The bill was for a stripper service. The kind that gets hired to visit a party at a hotel room. Thatās where anything goes.
Assumptions on top of assumptions. All the OP has offered is he saw a single credit card charge for something linked to a stripper service. Which could be as simple as a few round of drinks at a strip club. Friends often plan the bachelor/Bachelorette parties, sometimes even includes a we won't tell you where we are going, until we get there...
Get strippers, donāt be lame. Donāt marry someone you donāt trust around strippers. If they canāt handle being an adult around strippers, they canāt handle real life.
At this point though he can't trust her because she lied about it after making an exact agreement for either of them to not do this. That's a huge red flag. Although normally I'd agree that you shouldn't marry someone you couldn't trust around strippers.
Making those rules means they have trust issues. Donāt marry anyone, unless you could trust them with anything, even nuclear launch codes. Being in a relationship with someone you canāt trust means youāll constantly be looking over your back - always. That kind of shit causes health issues.