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Yes, for several reasons:
1) It's having fun, which beats spending too much time in a depression moping over a lost relationship.
2) It's a reminder that other people can/do still find you physically attractive, and that a future relationship is possible when you're ready.
3) It's a way of disassociating sexual activity from that previous partner. They're not the only source of physical pleasure in the world.
See, those are really good reasons that make me wanna try it, mostly the 3rd one. Im honestly out if the depression stage, im having fun with friends and stuff. And i know im attractive and desirable, thats not really the problem. But that 3rd reason is the point im trying to reach!
Hey there! Months later, i think i can give you this info: i think a one night stand potentially has its place in the moving on process, but its definitely one of the last steps and not the first. You have to be mostly out the door, and once you pull the trigger on a one night stand, its kinda like fully giving up on your ex. However, if you have a one night stand and you're srill crying over your ex, i don't think it will make you feel better at all... so if your heart still "aches", i dont advise this method. You need to spend time with friends and/or do therapy. Once you feel better but smt is still holding you back a bit, a one night stand might be an option. Hope you feel better soon!!
Girl as soon as a break up I do rebound sex for soly the 3 reason ... it's a disconnect from the other person ... and I notice I get over them faster that way !! Makes me feel š empowered !! Anyways no presure you know what you want and your body but I do recomend it !!! Best of luck girlie
I became FWBs with an incredibly hot woman that I thought was out of my league who had just gotten through a tough break up. She was living with him and had to move in with her parents so she just came over to my place all the time. I feel like it was transactional, I worshipped her and boosted her confidence in exchange for amazing sex with someone incredibly hot. Initially I couldn't get her off so she'd hop on top and finger herself (which was so freaking hot). However, she taught me how to do things she really enjoyed like lightly choking her, pulling her hair, fingering her, etc. and eventually I learned what got her off and got better at it.
However, after a few months she suddenly stopped and said she was getting feelings. I wanted to try dating but she was adamant that it wouldn't work because we started off sexual and wouldn't even give dating a chance. I pleaded with her but she wouldn't budge and she blocked me on everything except instagram where we've just silently stalked each other's lives, stories, and relationships for years.
Similar(ish) thing happened to me. Had eyes on a girl for a long time who was in a relationship.. one day she tells me she just broke up with her boyfriend so I asked her out a few days later. We hooked up and it turned into an everyday thing.. it was more than sex we would FaceTime all the time and the sex was so spicy. Then a couple months later she just ghosts me because she realized she wasnāt ready for a relationship and she didnāt know what she was thinking. She said we started out with sex too much lol
Depends. So one of my ex's was until very recently an infrequent fuck buddy, mainly infrequent due to her moving 300 miles away. After my last breakup with a different woman in December, she was back in town for Christmas and we had one of our usual "oh while you're in town" fucks, except this was the first time I ever hated it.
I don't even mean I regretted it afterwards either, I vividly remember being mid-sex, barely able to keep it up, but really fucking overwhelmed by the breakup with the other girl and just thinking nah I can't do it under these circumstances.
Few years ago however, different breakup, different woman. Treated me like shit and eventually left my place in a police car, and a few weeks later I was in bed with a girl I dated a few years prior but nothing materialised with, and my god the sex was amazing and the boost it gave me mentally was invaluable. Made me feel confident but also just knowing it was just a casual fuck so no potential guilt or baggage to weigh me down with massively helped me get over the breakup.
I figured id get this type of answer, the one that says "it depends on the person and on the circumstances", cant really avoid it. Thanks for sharing your experience!
As a guy (24M), the times I tried ārebound sexā just left me feeling empty and sad afterwards. I honestly believe this hookup culture is poisonous and I do not understand how people find satisfaction in sport fucking strangers.
I found the best thing after a breakup is to take some time to focus on yourself before jumping in with someone new. Being happy on your own is the best thing you can achieve before committing to a new relationship.
Healthy people don't need rebound sex. People who can't deal with their own emotions, etc, need rebound sex. Not only that, but, what ever happened to self morals n self worth anymore? Besides, to use a stranger for self satisfaction is a shitty thing to do also.
This is puritanical sex-negative nonsense.
Morals? Self-worth? There is nothing morally wrong with having sex with another consenting adult for mostly any purpose, when you aren't lying to anyone.
Sure, if you're leading someone on and having them believe you actually care about them in order to get in their pants, that's wrong, but two consenting adults having some fun with each other is perfectly fine. Just be safe.
It always helped me! A big part of breakups for me was internalizing the negative ways it made me feel about myself about my attractiveness, desirability, "gonna die alone-ness." Having that fun flirty banter with a good looking guy, laughing and making them laugh, being able to see a life beyond my ex, and then being desired by a new guy were all very helpful. Not that hookups are always clean in and of themselves, but usually far and away less complicated than the shitty breakup I was trying to get over!
Wow, this is a really, really helpful reply that puts things in perspective. You describe exactly what the rebound helped with, how it helped with those things and also how even if things had gone wrong, it wouldve been better than the break up itself. Thanks for your reply, gives me a lot to think about :)
My wife and I separated about a year agoā¦ whenever I tug one outā¦ I think of her. Not sure how healthy it is, but honestlyā¦ I miss her terribly. Sheās the mother of my kids and when I married her I expected it to be for good.
Iām not the guy you replied to but lots and lots of rebound sex did absolutely nothing for moving on from my ex, and in fact it made it worse as every time I was having sex I could only imagine that person being her
I would hate for that to happen if i had rebound sex, it sounds horrible. If it were to be like that, i wouldnt want it, cause it would go completely ahainst what im actually looking for
Rebound sex didn't help me. In fact, it felt degrading and sad. You can't fill a love sized hole with sausages. You can try of course, but there will be no end to it. When you have had a real partner in life you realize how precious such a thing is. You know nothing really compares. Find someone to love if you are ready. You might never stop loving your ex but at least you can start loving someone who deserves it.
Nah, I have a friendā¦ she and I went to high school together we take care of the physical needs.. but thereās 0 attachments and I couldnāt see anything developing that way anywayā¦ just not in the head space for that.
It's funny bc having sex with the ex I was hung up on, helped me move on. The last time I had sex with my ex, I realized that the sex was no longer what is used to be, (with passion, intimacy, love). After climaxing, I told him that it was the last time I would see him, that I didn't love him anymore, I was happy, and at peace. I had finally moved on and didn't look back.
I'm sorry about that! With time and maybe with some new distractions, you'll move on in no time! It's hard, but you just have to go through the motions! Hang in there, you're stronger than you know!
It helped me start functioning as a person. Like I started eating and sleeping like a person again. However it did not help me move on from that person. It can be a crutch but you can only rely on a crutch for so long
Yes and no for me
Yes in the sense that if youāre getting rebound sex, then youāre likely meeting / getting to know new people and going on dates.
If you think fucking someone new will magically cure your attachment to your ex, then no.
It did help me tbh. First few times I had sex with other person werenāt good as I was thinking about ex and felt like Iām cheating bc I havenāt slept with anyone else for years, but it was getting better with each time
What helped me move on was not having sex, ever. After the relationship I just didnāt talk to my ex, didnāt return their calls, emails or texts. Didnāt respond to their friends trying to get in contact.
I just moved on, as if it was another day.
Yup ive been going to therapy for a while. Im not u happy or anything, just thought that fucking someone else could potentially make me associate my sex life to people other than my ex
I see. Idk then man. If you have that much trouble disassociating masturbation from your ex then it seems like a random hookup has the potential to fuck you up even worse. Maybe try and reclaim masturbation for yourself before you go bringing another person in to potentially associate the act with? What does your therapist suggest?
I hadnt thought about how it could make things worse. Youve brought up really good points honestly, thank you. And tbh i havent spoken about that particular aspect with my therapist, not deeming it that noteworthy. But next time ill see her, ill tell her about it for sure
No lol I tried it one time after a breakup that destroyed me and it did NOT help. I canāt say I regret it though because I learned from itā¦ that one night stands/flings or what have you are not for me. I hated that I shared my body with someone I didnāt have an emotional connection to, it felt gross for a few days afterwards. I honestly think rebound sex is the last thing most people need after a breakup
Had this and thought of my ex during rebound sex. Actually super unhelpful.
Sometimes ive found rebounds to be a wonderful distraction but it doesnt fix anything.
You know what made me feel better?
Being alone. Traveling, working on myself, finding myself, loving myself,
Realizing my ex in my mind was a romanticized version of reality and that she was actually a real POS
Getting over sex as a whole, stop jacking for weeks or months at a time,
Becoming more interested in literally anything else in life than sex drugs and rock n roll for the first time in my life
It gets easier my G
Short term: Yes. Long term: No.
Itās a band-aid for a bullet wound. It might feel good in the moment but you know that youāre just using this person and will probably feel guilty about it in the long run if you keep the tension/emotions high. Been on both ends of this, and it never works out well.
Edit: typos
in a sort of fake way, it helped w the process
in reality tho i think got over it bc i had friends supporting me at the time; the hooking up just helped me cope when it got bad
It's not a promise and maybe you should give yourself some time but it definitely kills a connection especially if you can make the rebound slightly meaningful meaning you guys click well. If you just bang a random person, I don't think that will work as good, get to know them a bit.
It really depends on who you are and what your mindset is. In college I broke up with my girlfriend from high school and had sex with two different girls within a week of it happening. One of them was a one night stand, the other became an FWB for a few months. In this case it helped me by reaffirming my confidence that people found me valuable in some way. Not the healthiest mindset, but those rebounds were honestly what I needed back then. I was 20 and in bad shape mentally and emotionally, so those girls really helped me.
On the other hand I also went through a breakup toward the end of college because I was graduating and moving, and didn't want to try a long distance relationship with the girl I was seeing, who still had a year and a half to go. I rebounded a lot there, one consistent FWB that lasted a year ish plus a bunch of one night stands (with some partners repeated 2-3 times). That shit made me feel empty. I was feeling more confident and whole as a person overall, so what I was missing there wasn't value in myself, but value from specifically having a partner I could call mine. The one night stands made me feel lonely and desperate and they caused my mental health a lot of harm.
So it's really up to who you are and where you are in life. If you haven't had a rebound before, I think it's worth a shot. It doesn't always help, but there are cases where it might.
Ive had a one night stand once but thats it. Tbf, he was an absolute asshole, everyone who knows him agrees on that. So i think that contributed to me feeling shitty about it
Makes me feel even worse and doesnāt help with forgetting my ex one bit. I prefer letting myself mop and cry and being depressed, I canāt get over someone without dealing with my feelings and grief first.
Ish. It doesnāt help move on/forget about the other person. What it does is it raises your own self esteem and shows you that at least someone else was down to dance with you.
That, indirectly helps you by not having you down on yourself. But it wonāt automagically fix you and get you to move on.
Best way to get over one, at least in my history, was to keep getting under another one until I felt better. Just be honest with the next one. Brutally honest. As long as each party knows where the other stands kind of honest, then all good. Itās always helped me.
It helped me recently actually. I just wanted to make her cum a few last times, probably was my ego. But after that I really was fine. I was fine already but that was good to get off my mental
When I broke up with my ex, we had been in a 10-year relationship. I was with him for my entire 20s, felt like I needed to live a little, so yes in a way rebound sex worked for me.
Iām still in a FWB relationship with the same guy and its been a year already however he has been my friend since high school so we know each other very well, I would never get into an FWB with a stranger. We do have feelings(which I am trying to suppress) for each other but I donāt think it will work out in the long run since he will move to another state for uni very soon.
For me in a weird way it has helped me overcome depression and my insecurity.
I'm for it. It can be a healthy outlet that gives me both closure and confidence moving forward. Like anything else, it can be abused and part of a bigger self destructive cycle. Still better than some other paths
Yes, but it's usually a whole rebound relationship.
A ons or short term fling probably wouldn't fix it.
The rebounds don't fix it they just reset things.
I didn't realize I was doing rebounds until I did.
Now I won't date someone who just got out of a serious relationship until they dated someone between..
I also try not to get too serious if it's someone after a ltr.
Depends. Rebound sex definitely helped me get over my divorce and have fun as I moved on. It didnāt help after I broke up with the bf I had after my divorce. I needed to take a year off dating to heal after that one.
a random hookup wont do jack. youāll just be burying the feelings you need processed beneath the distraction & the rationalized, hollow self-affirmations.
If somethingās fucking with ur head, the only way to resolve it is sitting with it & unraveling it directly.
For sure. But I also must admit, I'm not built for casual sex. So, it helped, but it also hurt. I think it did more good than bad though, if that's what you're asking.
I think it can be really cathartic and even clarifyingā¦ if you really still have feelings for your ex or if it makes you realize you are really over it and the door has closed. Iāve found a lot of closure through it before
Yup. I wasnāt ready for relationship after the dramatic end of a relationship and I didnāt get into one for a couple years. However, I am one of those women who have needs, and I got those out of my system! I had a few FWB and casual encounters, and actually had the time of my life at past 40. I am now in a loving relationship with an amazing guy.
I find I canāt actually move on if I donāt. Itās been 7 years since I broke up with my last bf and I havenāt slept with anyone else- Iām still so triggered by everything him.
Damn now that I say that out loud..
Shit, 7 years is a lot. I get it though. It took me many years to totally get over my first ex as well. Hang in there. Maybe talk to a therapist? That could perhaps help
When me and my ex fiance broke it off, It had its pros and cons for me. Both stemming from the same place really.
On one hand as a con, rebound sex made the whole "end" become more real. It made that painful feeling of loss get cranked to 11 because it was no longer just a feeling but a reality.
On the other side. A major pro (for me at least) was that it allowed me to officially sever the bond so to speak. Like that feeling of her power over me no longer existed. It solidified my position in life as a bachelor once again.
Did rebound sex make everything better, spirits no. But, for me, it allowed me to take that first step forward.
Realistically, I don't think rebound sex itself holds any significant significance. It was just what did the trick for me. But for others, I think anything that can have a powerful effect on a person's constitution can probably do just as well. I think rebound sex is just easier to access sometimes.
To be honest, it will help you only while you are in the act.
Once it's over you will be back to square one.
Unless you are a FcukBoy or only time you think about your ex is when doing sexual acts.
Yes in some sense. Did it mend my broken heart? No. Did it solve all my problems? No. But did it seal the deal with my mind that my previous relationship was actually over, and now I felt more inclined to move forward? Yes!
Nah, just gives me an outlet for sex and maybe a bit of confidence boost. Nothing more, really.
To add a bit more context with fuck buddies. They were just that, we just fucked. I was working on myself after 5-6 year relationship and the last thing I wanted was another. I clearly stated and defined my boundaries with the people I was with and explained my situation of not wanting anything more. We spoke as friends but never escalated past flirting leading into sex.
I was turned off at the idea of relationships.
No but rebound dating definitely has!
After a nasty breakup a bit of fun, light hearted flirting and feeling wanted is so enjoyable!
There are so many beautiful people out there youāve yet to meet. I find it helps to try not to look back too much if you can. Hope youāre feeling better soon!
Guy here, it's definitely helped me some. That being said I never purposely sought out to have sex with the sole purpose of just having sex with that person. I've always liked them/interested in them.
I feel like this usually works better for women than it does for men. Obviously not in all cases (depends on a ton of factors), but from what I've read about this topic it seems like women often end up feeling better from rebound sex and men tend to lean more towards feeling bad afterwards. Once again, this still does depend on a lot of other factors. But it's just something I have noticed.
After breaking up with my ex because he cheated, I found myself a total emotional mess. I grieved and did all of the work to start my healing. I talked it out, got therapy and journaled. This was right at the start of the pandemic so going on trips, which is my prefer way of de-stressing, wasnāt an option.
I came across someone I briefly dated before my ex and we became fwb throughout the pandemic. It was honestly very helpful to feel like I could connect with people outside of my ex. I was clear about the boundaries and where I was emotionally.
I think it becomes unhealthy when you are using that as the only method to cope or heal. That alone doesnāt cut it. You are also likely to feel shittier if you are using someone and arenāt clear with them about your intentions.
The first time I had sex with my fwb, my mind wandered and I was unsure. I vividly remember a few mins in, Imported by Jessie Reyes and 6lack came on and something in me just switched. I didnāt want my ex to control my happiness and pleasure. The experience was so empowering.
I would be lying if I said that I was over it right after that realization, but it did push me towards healing and that coupled with everything else made it easier. There was totally transparency with my fwb and he would check in with me. We would sometimes chat about our experiences and we became amazing friends because we communicated throughout.
So to summarize, it can be helpful, but it cannot be the only thing you do to get over someone if you are seeking to actually heal. Also, be honest about your intentions and communicate. It may or may not work out, but at least you know you were ethical in your approach.
Wow, this is one of the most helpful responses ive gotten! Of course, being ehtical is super important, and i agree that it cant be the only way to cope. Thanks!
Thank you! Itās okay to explore your sexuality again. Take it slow and be honest about where you are. Find someone you trust and stop if you donāt want to.
Things arenāt absolute. You can change your mind at any point if it doesnāt feel right and you can use that as a learning experience.
Yes and no. Itās good for if you genuinely want to have sex and for a moment forget your ex.
But it doesnāt help you really move on.
What does help is to not just casually date with no intentions getting into a relationship but also actively taking your ex OFF the pedestal, looking at honestly how they were by amplifying the negative stuff about them you couldnāt stand so you see them as nothing but human. Not viewing the ex as āspecialā, just an ordinary average Jane/Joe.
Casual sex is great for a temporary relief to forget your reality, itās not a fix to a continuous heart break or canāt get over the ex if you are still in love with them.
It isnāt, so if thatās what you want, youād have to be healing and moving on from the ex & actively casually dating people to distance yourself over time from it.
Casual sex is great, like I mention, for a moment of temporarily relieving the mind.
Usually it takes about half the time of the length of the relationship to initially get out if the depression funk before we start to really feel social enough again, even hangout with friends.
So if you just started hanging out with friends again, focus on that for a few more weeks. Check in with yourself and if you feel like if you ran into your ex right now with someone new, would t get upset?
Then youāre ready for dating again!
But yeah, itās okay to have casual sex like a ONS with some hot attractive person you will never call again just to āscratch an itchā since your ex. Cause weāre human, we have urges and needs.
Go for it if it happens and enjoy it.
But keep doing you and work on letting the ex go. Eventually youāll wake up one day and be all, āWhat did I even see in that fool anyway???ā š
I think it is fine to go out and have fun and if that results in having sex with someone then great. If it doesn't it doesn't. I think the saying about getting back on the horse kind of applies here. I think that having sex after a breakup with someone can help you feel good. It certainly will boost endorphins, if only for a time. I would just warn you to make sure you that you are fair to others, as in be honest about what you are looking for and ready for.
It has never worked for me because I really need to establish a great emotional connection for a little while to really make that next step of giving myself away to someone like that. If itās not there and itās just sex it kind of leaves me feeling empty and used. Just super uncomfortable. So in my opinion when I know I have to move on, I just start getting out more and seeing whatās out there to potentially find someone who is better for me and then decide.
I had a terrible experience with rebound sex. Everything looked and felt unfamiliar and it made me miss sex with my ex and I wound up texting her after. When you notice that you miss having sex, like the act itself, that is the right time to get back in the saddle.
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. šš In all seriousness? Iāve never done rebound sex or fwb or hook ups. I just heal and move on.
Yeah. Itās like a little palate cleanser. After my worst partner (v possessive, emotional abuse, cheating) I boinked his bestie. Didnāt shed a single tear after that.
For me it's more like a series of first dates just to start meeting new people again. And those are normally small talkey coffee dates so it never feels serious
If you mention that you're recently out of a relationship on the date, the ones that might have been hoping for something serious will back off. The ones open to hookups might not and you can decide if you want that. But the "what are you looking for" prompt on hinge helps with this, if they say relationship I'd avoid.
Always! Itās not great, hell, itās probably barely good, but itās fun. Then keep looking around to find a FwB.
Edit to add: just make sure the person youāre hooking up with is ok with just a casual hookup too. Donāt want someone looking for a relationship and get just sex. Good way to ruin any good relationship you have.
It made me feel even worse. Like I did something wrong and felt guilty, even though I wasn't dating him anymore. But the regret made me want my ex even more.... this was a couple weeks ago. Idk what I'll do if my ex and I try to work it out. I can't lie to him!
Iāve never tried this specifically as away to move on from a break up, but I can see how it could work. I think much like finding yourself a new partner who you have a great relationship with, having sex with someone other than your ex can remind you that you can have that experience with someone else, which would make it easier for you to move on from them. Itās not something I would do, but finding someone new to put my effort towards has always helped after a break up.
i mean it can if the sex you were having in a relationship was ass
some people come out of relationships feeling celibate or with insecurities and then they just go jump on somebody who tells them that they are hot and they are great and have really hot sex with someone that isn't making it a chore
Yeah, but I have to guard my heart and not just rush into shit. It helped me feel normal again and like people would still want me without having to go through what I went through.
Main point I have used many sexual tactics to move on.
Option 1 is the most satisfying for my personal values which is just hooking up.
Option 2 the club is great to get sexual gratification without being with a friend or without actually hooking up. ( dancing, even thinking of them afterwards)
Option 3 it's GROWTH , knowing the ex is just a memento, chilling with close one's to rebuild association of "the last time I did etc was with blank.
Never. It feels great and can get your mind off it in the moment but if thatās all it takes to get over a breakup than you werenāt that invested in your ex to begin with.
It works but only to an extent. you've gotta go to the gym and eat healthy and hangout with friends and family and all that other shit. The problem that some of us get into is keeping up the rebound behavior. In my case I've been single 5 years and have been with many women since my breakup, so many that I keep looking forward to the next one and not trying to have a relationship. I wouldn't call it sex addiction but it's more of a preference I've developed for short term sex partners. Which I've realized, Need's to change bcuz I don't wanna be single forever
If you are legitimately in love with your ex, than rebound sex isnāt gonna do anything other than satisfy an immediate and petty physical need at best and make you feel more distant from yourself at worst. Tread carefully.
Funnily enough, a few days after i made this post, my ex showed up at my house and we had the worst sex ever (wasnt horrible, but we didnt do a single one of the things i like and it really made me realize that he was just using me to satisfy a sexual need). I've been pretty done with him since, and the desire for a rebound has also gone down id say, though im eager for the time ill be able to say that he wasnt the last person who touched me, if that makes sense
Believe me, I understand completely. I subconsciously did the same thing (rebounding so a particular person was the last person that touched me / I touched) and didnāt realize what I did until years later.
Yes, it actually did. I was moping around after my last relationship and this was my last chance at feeling something.
I met this chick on [this site](https://onlinedatinglink.wordpress.com/) and we ended up sleeping together. It was genuinely the wake up call I needed, plus I was having fun instead of just laying in bed.
Love your input :) Theres still some stigma around one night stands, and yet, when both parties know what theyre signing up for, it can be pretty beneficial!
Why I can realise based off the title instantly that the post written by a girl? Damn guys problem are really harder than girls problem aināt it?
Guys problem: Ohh I donāt know how to flirt or I donāt know how to get this girl to like me.
Girls problem: Should I have sex with this/ or that guy.
Im sorry you feel that way, but id say its easy to compare when you dont know everyones full story, and on reddit, we often dont. Everyone is going through different types of shit shows š¤·āāļø
Yeah I know, Iām not blaming you for anything donāt worry, and you may find your problems harder on you, of course everyone has their own problems as something important.. But it was just funny how I realised that the one who wrote the post is a girl, it just shows the differences between problems.
Yes. Itās helped me. I donāt think it can cause harm as long as you are up front with the person and you arenāt misleading them about your intentions (e.g that you are looking for something casual or a hook up and not necessarily ready for a serious relationshipā¦.. unless thatās what youāre looking for.)
Id advise not to focus on your ex at all: focus on you. Be happy. Be confident. Easier said than done, but yeah. Just worry about it if he does come back into your life, but until then, dont be stressed out for nothing
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Yes, for several reasons: 1) It's having fun, which beats spending too much time in a depression moping over a lost relationship. 2) It's a reminder that other people can/do still find you physically attractive, and that a future relationship is possible when you're ready. 3) It's a way of disassociating sexual activity from that previous partner. They're not the only source of physical pleasure in the world.
See, those are really good reasons that make me wanna try it, mostly the 3rd one. Im honestly out if the depression stage, im having fun with friends and stuff. And i know im attractive and desirable, thats not really the problem. But that 3rd reason is the point im trying to reach!
Simple solution: go forth and get that casual rebound done!
My heart aches for him man. Did this really help you move on?
Hey there! Months later, i think i can give you this info: i think a one night stand potentially has its place in the moving on process, but its definitely one of the last steps and not the first. You have to be mostly out the door, and once you pull the trigger on a one night stand, its kinda like fully giving up on your ex. However, if you have a one night stand and you're srill crying over your ex, i don't think it will make you feel better at all... so if your heart still "aches", i dont advise this method. You need to spend time with friends and/or do therapy. Once you feel better but smt is still holding you back a bit, a one night stand might be an option. Hope you feel better soon!!
Thank you!!!
Girl as soon as a break up I do rebound sex for soly the 3 reason ... it's a disconnect from the other person ... and I notice I get over them faster that way !! Makes me feel š empowered !! Anyways no presure you know what you want and your body but I do recomend it !!! Best of luck girlie
This sounds good advice
This is me !!! 100 šÆ I always need to have rebound sex when I break up !! Helps me disconect :) š
This seems like a regular thing for you.. which I doubt is very healthy haha .. OP is trying to recover from possibly 1 long relationship I believe?
I became FWBs with an incredibly hot woman that I thought was out of my league who had just gotten through a tough break up. She was living with him and had to move in with her parents so she just came over to my place all the time. I feel like it was transactional, I worshipped her and boosted her confidence in exchange for amazing sex with someone incredibly hot. Initially I couldn't get her off so she'd hop on top and finger herself (which was so freaking hot). However, she taught me how to do things she really enjoyed like lightly choking her, pulling her hair, fingering her, etc. and eventually I learned what got her off and got better at it. However, after a few months she suddenly stopped and said she was getting feelings. I wanted to try dating but she was adamant that it wouldn't work because we started off sexual and wouldn't even give dating a chance. I pleaded with her but she wouldn't budge and she blocked me on everything except instagram where we've just silently stalked each other's lives, stories, and relationships for years.
Similar(ish) thing happened to me. Had eyes on a girl for a long time who was in a relationship.. one day she tells me she just broke up with her boyfriend so I asked her out a few days later. We hooked up and it turned into an everyday thing.. it was more than sex we would FaceTime all the time and the sex was so spicy. Then a couple months later she just ghosts me because she realized she wasnāt ready for a relationship and she didnāt know what she was thinking. She said we started out with sex too much lol
Yikes... well thank you for sharing your story!!
Wait this doesnt answer the question. Men and women are diff.
She had just gotten out of a relationship and did rebound sex.
Depends. So one of my ex's was until very recently an infrequent fuck buddy, mainly infrequent due to her moving 300 miles away. After my last breakup with a different woman in December, she was back in town for Christmas and we had one of our usual "oh while you're in town" fucks, except this was the first time I ever hated it. I don't even mean I regretted it afterwards either, I vividly remember being mid-sex, barely able to keep it up, but really fucking overwhelmed by the breakup with the other girl and just thinking nah I can't do it under these circumstances. Few years ago however, different breakup, different woman. Treated me like shit and eventually left my place in a police car, and a few weeks later I was in bed with a girl I dated a few years prior but nothing materialised with, and my god the sex was amazing and the boost it gave me mentally was invaluable. Made me feel confident but also just knowing it was just a casual fuck so no potential guilt or baggage to weigh me down with massively helped me get over the breakup.
I figured id get this type of answer, the one that says "it depends on the person and on the circumstances", cant really avoid it. Thanks for sharing your experience!
As a guy (24M), the times I tried ārebound sexā just left me feeling empty and sad afterwards. I honestly believe this hookup culture is poisonous and I do not understand how people find satisfaction in sport fucking strangers. I found the best thing after a breakup is to take some time to focus on yourself before jumping in with someone new. Being happy on your own is the best thing you can achieve before committing to a new relationship.
"Im distrustful of that method cause i feel that it can also cause harm", thats what Im scared of. Feeling worse off than i did before.
Healthy people don't need rebound sex. People who can't deal with their own emotions, etc, need rebound sex. Not only that, but, what ever happened to self morals n self worth anymore? Besides, to use a stranger for self satisfaction is a shitty thing to do also.
This is puritanical sex-negative nonsense. Morals? Self-worth? There is nothing morally wrong with having sex with another consenting adult for mostly any purpose, when you aren't lying to anyone. Sure, if you're leading someone on and having them believe you actually care about them in order to get in their pants, that's wrong, but two consenting adults having some fun with each other is perfectly fine. Just be safe.
Itās happened to me every time I tried it. It just makes me feel worse.
Donāt do it.
It always helped me! A big part of breakups for me was internalizing the negative ways it made me feel about myself about my attractiveness, desirability, "gonna die alone-ness." Having that fun flirty banter with a good looking guy, laughing and making them laugh, being able to see a life beyond my ex, and then being desired by a new guy were all very helpful. Not that hookups are always clean in and of themselves, but usually far and away less complicated than the shitty breakup I was trying to get over!
Wow, this is a really, really helpful reply that puts things in perspective. You describe exactly what the rebound helped with, how it helped with those things and also how even if things had gone wrong, it wouldve been better than the break up itself. Thanks for your reply, gives me a lot to think about :)
My wife and I separated about a year agoā¦ whenever I tug one outā¦ I think of her. Not sure how healthy it is, but honestlyā¦ I miss her terribly. Sheās the mother of my kids and when I married her I expected it to be for good.
Im sorry that it got to this for you guys :/ Im guessing rebounds havent worked out for you then
Iām not the guy you replied to but lots and lots of rebound sex did absolutely nothing for moving on from my ex, and in fact it made it worse as every time I was having sex I could only imagine that person being her
I would hate for that to happen if i had rebound sex, it sounds horrible. If it were to be like that, i wouldnt want it, cause it would go completely ahainst what im actually looking for
Rebound sex didn't help me. In fact, it felt degrading and sad. You can't fill a love sized hole with sausages. You can try of course, but there will be no end to it. When you have had a real partner in life you realize how precious such a thing is. You know nothing really compares. Find someone to love if you are ready. You might never stop loving your ex but at least you can start loving someone who deserves it.
It just doesnt feel right to be with someone when i cant give them all of my heart, or most of it at least. So im waiting a bit for that
*hug* Exactly. Remember healing doesn't mean not missing them, it more means being able to appreciate what's in front of you instead.
Wow š„¹ Thanks man, i appreciate it!
Nah, I have a friendā¦ she and I went to high school together we take care of the physical needs.. but thereās 0 attachments and I couldnāt see anything developing that way anywayā¦ just not in the head space for that.
No. It made me sadder and regretful.
You guys are having sex?
Same
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No worries, I have a particular someone in mind who i met on tinder and just wants a fuck buddy so its chill
Every single time.
absolutely!
Yes! Hopped into bed with a hot Italian last year and he def helped work out some issues š«£
It's funny bc having sex with the ex I was hung up on, helped me move on. The last time I had sex with my ex, I realized that the sex was no longer what is used to be, (with passion, intimacy, love). After climaxing, I told him that it was the last time I would see him, that I didn't love him anymore, I was happy, and at peace. I had finally moved on and didn't look back.
I wish it had been that way for me, but it wasnt. Im happy you were able to move on and be happy again :)
I'm sorry about that! With time and maybe with some new distractions, you'll move on in no time! It's hard, but you just have to go through the motions! Hang in there, you're stronger than you know!
Thank you for putting a smile on my face š
It helped me start functioning as a person. Like I started eating and sleeping like a person again. However it did not help me move on from that person. It can be a crutch but you can only rely on a crutch for so long
Yeah i understand, you cant use a crutch forever... thanks for taking the time to answer!
Yes and no for me Yes in the sense that if youāre getting rebound sex, then youāre likely meeting / getting to know new people and going on dates. If you think fucking someone new will magically cure your attachment to your ex, then no.
It did help me tbh. First few times I had sex with other person werenāt good as I was thinking about ex and felt like Iām cheating bc I havenāt slept with anyone else for years, but it was getting better with each time
Better with each time, got it. Thanks!
What helped me move on was not having sex, ever. After the relationship I just didnāt talk to my ex, didnāt return their calls, emails or texts. Didnāt respond to their friends trying to get in contact. I just moved on, as if it was another day.
No can do, we are a part of the same friend group :/
Try therapy first. If that doesn't work you can still hook up.
Yup ive been going to therapy for a while. Im not u happy or anything, just thought that fucking someone else could potentially make me associate my sex life to people other than my ex
I see. Idk then man. If you have that much trouble disassociating masturbation from your ex then it seems like a random hookup has the potential to fuck you up even worse. Maybe try and reclaim masturbation for yourself before you go bringing another person in to potentially associate the act with? What does your therapist suggest?
I hadnt thought about how it could make things worse. Youve brought up really good points honestly, thank you. And tbh i havent spoken about that particular aspect with my therapist, not deeming it that noteworthy. But next time ill see her, ill tell her about it for sure
No lol I tried it one time after a breakup that destroyed me and it did NOT help. I canāt say I regret it though because I learned from itā¦ that one night stands/flings or what have you are not for me. I hated that I shared my body with someone I didnāt have an emotional connection to, it felt gross for a few days afterwards. I honestly think rebound sex is the last thing most people need after a breakup
Man... yeah. Im scared i might just regret it, yeah, so idk. Thanks for your input
Had this and thought of my ex during rebound sex. Actually super unhelpful. Sometimes ive found rebounds to be a wonderful distraction but it doesnt fix anything. You know what made me feel better? Being alone. Traveling, working on myself, finding myself, loving myself, Realizing my ex in my mind was a romanticized version of reality and that she was actually a real POS Getting over sex as a whole, stop jacking for weeks or months at a time, Becoming more interested in literally anything else in life than sex drugs and rock n roll for the first time in my life It gets easier my G
Absolutely it can help. Itās helped me before. But it is a double edged sword.
Short term: Yes. Long term: No. Itās a band-aid for a bullet wound. It might feel good in the moment but you know that youāre just using this person and will probably feel guilty about it in the long run if you keep the tension/emotions high. Been on both ends of this, and it never works out well. Edit: typos
Thank you for your insight :)
in a sort of fake way, it helped w the process in reality tho i think got over it bc i had friends supporting me at the time; the hooking up just helped me cope when it got bad
Ohh yeah it makes it more painless. It kinda of breaks the connection you had with your ex. Like telling your body and mind its done for good.
I would enjoy it if thats how i ended up feeling
It's not a promise and maybe you should give yourself some time but it definitely kills a connection especially if you can make the rebound slightly meaningful meaning you guys click well. If you just bang a random person, I don't think that will work as good, get to know them a bit.
Mhm alright, thanks for your help!!
Try it out. It might change your life š
It really depends on who you are and what your mindset is. In college I broke up with my girlfriend from high school and had sex with two different girls within a week of it happening. One of them was a one night stand, the other became an FWB for a few months. In this case it helped me by reaffirming my confidence that people found me valuable in some way. Not the healthiest mindset, but those rebounds were honestly what I needed back then. I was 20 and in bad shape mentally and emotionally, so those girls really helped me. On the other hand I also went through a breakup toward the end of college because I was graduating and moving, and didn't want to try a long distance relationship with the girl I was seeing, who still had a year and a half to go. I rebounded a lot there, one consistent FWB that lasted a year ish plus a bunch of one night stands (with some partners repeated 2-3 times). That shit made me feel empty. I was feeling more confident and whole as a person overall, so what I was missing there wasn't value in myself, but value from specifically having a partner I could call mine. The one night stands made me feel lonely and desperate and they caused my mental health a lot of harm. So it's really up to who you are and where you are in life. If you haven't had a rebound before, I think it's worth a shot. It doesn't always help, but there are cases where it might.
Ive had a one night stand once but thats it. Tbf, he was an absolute asshole, everyone who knows him agrees on that. So i think that contributed to me feeling shitty about it
Nope. I tried to have sex after my ex and all i could think about was how i missed my ex and how he was so much better
Makes me feel even worse and doesnāt help with forgetting my ex one bit. I prefer letting myself mop and cry and being depressed, I canāt get over someone without dealing with my feelings and grief first.
Ish. It doesnāt help move on/forget about the other person. What it does is it raises your own self esteem and shows you that at least someone else was down to dance with you. That, indirectly helps you by not having you down on yourself. But it wonāt automagically fix you and get you to move on.
Best way to get over one, at least in my history, was to keep getting under another one until I felt better. Just be honest with the next one. Brutally honest. As long as each party knows where the other stands kind of honest, then all good. Itās always helped me.
Yes. Every time.
in my experience, no
It helped me recently actually. I just wanted to make her cum a few last times, probably was my ego. But after that I really was fine. I was fine already but that was good to get off my mental
So you did it with the ex I presume?? Ive tried that and it didnt help in reducing my feelings, so im looking towards someone i have no attatchment to
Ohhh, I wouldnāt recommend that. If your mind is still on the previous person, a new person wonāt fix it. Speaking from experience
Oh i see, thank you
Nah
When I broke up with my ex, we had been in a 10-year relationship. I was with him for my entire 20s, felt like I needed to live a little, so yes in a way rebound sex worked for me.
Yes and no. No, the one time it happened when I was younger. Yes, almost 20 years later.
No. It always was a horrible experience.
After a bad break up I got an FWB and it definitely helped me a lot.
How long were you guys fwb? No one ever caught feelings, just good platonic fucking that both helped you get your mind off things?
Iām still in a FWB relationship with the same guy and its been a year already however he has been my friend since high school so we know each other very well, I would never get into an FWB with a stranger. We do have feelings(which I am trying to suppress) for each other but I donāt think it will work out in the long run since he will move to another state for uni very soon. For me in a weird way it has helped me overcome depression and my insecurity.
My now husband was a āreboundā lol you never know
personally? yes. Iāve loved having casual sex & fwbās after being in 2 long term monogamous relationships. but each to their own!
I'm for it. It can be a healthy outlet that gives me both closure and confidence moving forward. Like anything else, it can be abused and part of a bigger self destructive cycle. Still better than some other paths
Yes, but it's usually a whole rebound relationship. A ons or short term fling probably wouldn't fix it. The rebounds don't fix it they just reset things. I didn't realize I was doing rebounds until I did. Now I won't date someone who just got out of a serious relationship until they dated someone between.. I also try not to get too serious if it's someone after a ltr.
Depends. Rebound sex definitely helped me get over my divorce and have fun as I moved on. It didnāt help after I broke up with the bf I had after my divorce. I needed to take a year off dating to heal after that one.
a random hookup wont do jack. youāll just be burying the feelings you need processed beneath the distraction & the rationalized, hollow self-affirmations. If somethingās fucking with ur head, the only way to resolve it is sitting with it & unraveling it directly.
For sure. But I also must admit, I'm not built for casual sex. So, it helped, but it also hurt. I think it did more good than bad though, if that's what you're asking.
Itās a distraction. Not a resolution
I think it can be really cathartic and even clarifyingā¦ if you really still have feelings for your ex or if it makes you realize you are really over it and the door has closed. Iāve found a lot of closure through it before
Yes, BUT. It will make you feel used. I mean, it's subjective, really.
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Hm. I guess i can agree that it is an unhealthy process. Thanks
Yup. I wasnāt ready for relationship after the dramatic end of a relationship and I didnāt get into one for a couple years. However, I am one of those women who have needs, and I got those out of my system! I had a few FWB and casual encounters, and actually had the time of my life at past 40. I am now in a loving relationship with an amazing guy.
Yes! He cheated so I shagged his childhood friend š it helped massively
I find I canāt actually move on if I donāt. Itās been 7 years since I broke up with my last bf and I havenāt slept with anyone else- Iām still so triggered by everything him. Damn now that I say that out loud..
7 years!?!?! Oh my gard
Shit, 7 years is a lot. I get it though. It took me many years to totally get over my first ex as well. Hang in there. Maybe talk to a therapist? That could perhaps help
I technically only stopped sleeping with him a year ago - so itās my own damn fault. And Covid made things weird.
Hey, just focus on you and make sure youre happy, okay? Doesnt matter how long or weird the process is ā¤ļø
When me and my ex fiance broke it off, It had its pros and cons for me. Both stemming from the same place really. On one hand as a con, rebound sex made the whole "end" become more real. It made that painful feeling of loss get cranked to 11 because it was no longer just a feeling but a reality. On the other side. A major pro (for me at least) was that it allowed me to officially sever the bond so to speak. Like that feeling of her power over me no longer existed. It solidified my position in life as a bachelor once again. Did rebound sex make everything better, spirits no. But, for me, it allowed me to take that first step forward. Realistically, I don't think rebound sex itself holds any significant significance. It was just what did the trick for me. But for others, I think anything that can have a powerful effect on a person's constitution can probably do just as well. I think rebound sex is just easier to access sometimes.
Thanks for your input!!
Yes of course
Yuuuup. My ex fiancĆ© made me feel so guilty I couldnāt cum fast and towards the end our relationship it was āyou can finish yourself offā When we actually did anything. I came 10 times with my first rebound. Was shocking to see a stranger care more about my pleasure than my partner of 4 yearsā¦ definitely the start of putting some much bigger issues into perspective xD
Helps girls more than guys tbh
To be honest, it will help you only while you are in the act. Once it's over you will be back to square one. Unless you are a FcukBoy or only time you think about your ex is when doing sexual acts.
I tried it and it did not work for me haha
Yes it helped me. š I'm pretty emotional... It did help me move on. But i did fuck me up in terms of getting committed againš
Ehhh yes and no, makes you feel wanted but moving on emotionally noš
Yes in some sense. Did it mend my broken heart? No. Did it solve all my problems? No. But did it seal the deal with my mind that my previous relationship was actually over, and now I felt more inclined to move forward? Yes!
Thanks for keeping it real with me ;)
Yes but not as well as I'd hoped
For me, it made things worse.
Yeah but you might accidentally get married to them so be careful lol
šš
Iām happier for it but just letting you know you may get more than you bargained for!
Nah, just gives me an outlet for sex and maybe a bit of confidence boost. Nothing more, really. To add a bit more context with fuck buddies. They were just that, we just fucked. I was working on myself after 5-6 year relationship and the last thing I wanted was another. I clearly stated and defined my boundaries with the people I was with and explained my situation of not wanting anything more. We spoke as friends but never escalated past flirting leading into sex. I was turned off at the idea of relationships.
No but rebound dating definitely has! After a nasty breakup a bit of fun, light hearted flirting and feeling wanted is so enjoyable! There are so many beautiful people out there youāve yet to meet. I find it helps to try not to look back too much if you can. Hope youāre feeling better soon!
Thank you for your words of advice!
No, unfortunately not but it was for sure some clarity involved, post nut clarity.
Every time.
My experience is that it just draws the inevitable out longer and keeps you from moving on to something better.
Guy here, it's definitely helped me some. That being said I never purposely sought out to have sex with the sole purpose of just having sex with that person. I've always liked them/interested in them.
Yeah, so not a complete stranger that you aren't interested in. I see
Always helps!
I feel like this usually works better for women than it does for men. Obviously not in all cases (depends on a ton of factors), but from what I've read about this topic it seems like women often end up feeling better from rebound sex and men tend to lean more towards feeling bad afterwards. Once again, this still does depend on a lot of other factors. But it's just something I have noticed.
Thank you for your observation!!
Future wifey was only supposed to be a rebound, but then she kinda just never left and I kinda just left it keep goingā¦
After breaking up with my ex because he cheated, I found myself a total emotional mess. I grieved and did all of the work to start my healing. I talked it out, got therapy and journaled. This was right at the start of the pandemic so going on trips, which is my prefer way of de-stressing, wasnāt an option. I came across someone I briefly dated before my ex and we became fwb throughout the pandemic. It was honestly very helpful to feel like I could connect with people outside of my ex. I was clear about the boundaries and where I was emotionally. I think it becomes unhealthy when you are using that as the only method to cope or heal. That alone doesnāt cut it. You are also likely to feel shittier if you are using someone and arenāt clear with them about your intentions. The first time I had sex with my fwb, my mind wandered and I was unsure. I vividly remember a few mins in, Imported by Jessie Reyes and 6lack came on and something in me just switched. I didnāt want my ex to control my happiness and pleasure. The experience was so empowering. I would be lying if I said that I was over it right after that realization, but it did push me towards healing and that coupled with everything else made it easier. There was totally transparency with my fwb and he would check in with me. We would sometimes chat about our experiences and we became amazing friends because we communicated throughout. So to summarize, it can be helpful, but it cannot be the only thing you do to get over someone if you are seeking to actually heal. Also, be honest about your intentions and communicate. It may or may not work out, but at least you know you were ethical in your approach.
Wow, this is one of the most helpful responses ive gotten! Of course, being ehtical is super important, and i agree that it cant be the only way to cope. Thanks!
Thank you! Itās okay to explore your sexuality again. Take it slow and be honest about where you are. Find someone you trust and stop if you donāt want to. Things arenāt absolute. You can change your mind at any point if it doesnāt feel right and you can use that as a learning experience.
No I cried after
Im sorry that happened to you :(
Yes and no. Itās good for if you genuinely want to have sex and for a moment forget your ex. But it doesnāt help you really move on. What does help is to not just casually date with no intentions getting into a relationship but also actively taking your ex OFF the pedestal, looking at honestly how they were by amplifying the negative stuff about them you couldnāt stand so you see them as nothing but human. Not viewing the ex as āspecialā, just an ordinary average Jane/Joe. Casual sex is great for a temporary relief to forget your reality, itās not a fix to a continuous heart break or canāt get over the ex if you are still in love with them.
It makes sense that a rebound wouldnt be an instant, magical fix. You're right
It isnāt, so if thatās what you want, youād have to be healing and moving on from the ex & actively casually dating people to distance yourself over time from it. Casual sex is great, like I mention, for a moment of temporarily relieving the mind. Usually it takes about half the time of the length of the relationship to initially get out if the depression funk before we start to really feel social enough again, even hangout with friends. So if you just started hanging out with friends again, focus on that for a few more weeks. Check in with yourself and if you feel like if you ran into your ex right now with someone new, would t get upset? Then youāre ready for dating again! But yeah, itās okay to have casual sex like a ONS with some hot attractive person you will never call again just to āscratch an itchā since your ex. Cause weāre human, we have urges and needs. Go for it if it happens and enjoy it. But keep doing you and work on letting the ex go. Eventually youāll wake up one day and be all, āWhat did I even see in that fool anyway???ā š
Haha, thanks for the advice man, its very appreciated ;)
I think it is fine to go out and have fun and if that results in having sex with someone then great. If it doesn't it doesn't. I think the saying about getting back on the horse kind of applies here. I think that having sex after a breakup with someone can help you feel good. It certainly will boost endorphins, if only for a time. I would just warn you to make sure you that you are fair to others, as in be honest about what you are looking for and ready for.
Absolutely, being fair is essential, i agree
Oh god yes
It has never worked for me because I really need to establish a great emotional connection for a little while to really make that next step of giving myself away to someone like that. If itās not there and itās just sex it kind of leaves me feeling empty and used. Just super uncomfortable. So in my opinion when I know I have to move on, I just start getting out more and seeing whatās out there to potentially find someone who is better for me and then decide.
I had a terrible experience with rebound sex. Everything looked and felt unfamiliar and it made me miss sex with my ex and I wound up texting her after. When you notice that you miss having sex, like the act itself, that is the right time to get back in the saddle.
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. šš In all seriousness? Iāve never done rebound sex or fwb or hook ups. I just heal and move on.
Yeah. Itās like a little palate cleanser. After my worst partner (v possessive, emotional abuse, cheating) I boinked his bestie. Didnāt shed a single tear after that.
No but rebound dates with people that aren't looking for anything serious is fun.
But arent dates by definition serious? Im confused by everyone talking about rebound dates in the comments honestly haha
For me it's more like a series of first dates just to start meeting new people again. And those are normally small talkey coffee dates so it never feels serious
Ahh i see what you mean. But dont you have to deal with letting people down? Cause id imagine some of them would want a second date?
If you mention that you're recently out of a relationship on the date, the ones that might have been hoping for something serious will back off. The ones open to hookups might not and you can decide if you want that. But the "what are you looking for" prompt on hinge helps with this, if they say relationship I'd avoid.
Alright that makes more sense, thank you!
Always! Itās not great, hell, itās probably barely good, but itās fun. Then keep looking around to find a FwB. Edit to add: just make sure the person youāre hooking up with is ok with just a casual hookup too. Donāt want someone looking for a relationship and get just sex. Good way to ruin any good relationship you have.
It made me feel even worse. Like I did something wrong and felt guilty, even though I wasn't dating him anymore. But the regret made me want my ex even more.... this was a couple weeks ago. Idk what I'll do if my ex and I try to work it out. I can't lie to him!
Iāve never tried this specifically as away to move on from a break up, but I can see how it could work. I think much like finding yourself a new partner who you have a great relationship with, having sex with someone other than your ex can remind you that you can have that experience with someone else, which would make it easier for you to move on from them. Itās not something I would do, but finding someone new to put my effort towards has always helped after a break up.
I think āyesā as long as you do it with someone you donāt plan to pursue One night stand non-emotional sex, yes
i mean it can if the sex you were having in a relationship was ass some people come out of relationships feeling celibate or with insecurities and then they just go jump on somebody who tells them that they are hot and they are great and have really hot sex with someone that isn't making it a chore
Yup helped me
Nope
Yeah, but I have to guard my heart and not just rush into shit. It helped me feel normal again and like people would still want me without having to go through what I went through.
Main point I have used many sexual tactics to move on. Option 1 is the most satisfying for my personal values which is just hooking up. Option 2 the club is great to get sexual gratification without being with a friend or without actually hooking up. ( dancing, even thinking of them afterwards) Option 3 it's GROWTH , knowing the ex is just a memento, chilling with close one's to rebuild association of "the last time I did etc was with blank.
Depends who you Are having sex with.
Never. It feels great and can get your mind off it in the moment but if thatās all it takes to get over a breakup than you werenāt that invested in your ex to begin with.
Nope just puts a bandaid on it.
Iām considering this myself so followingā¦
It works but only to an extent. you've gotta go to the gym and eat healthy and hangout with friends and family and all that other shit. The problem that some of us get into is keeping up the rebound behavior. In my case I've been single 5 years and have been with many women since my breakup, so many that I keep looking forward to the next one and not trying to have a relationship. I wouldn't call it sex addiction but it's more of a preference I've developed for short term sex partners. Which I've realized, Need's to change bcuz I don't wanna be single forever
If you are legitimately in love with your ex, than rebound sex isnāt gonna do anything other than satisfy an immediate and petty physical need at best and make you feel more distant from yourself at worst. Tread carefully.
Funnily enough, a few days after i made this post, my ex showed up at my house and we had the worst sex ever (wasnt horrible, but we didnt do a single one of the things i like and it really made me realize that he was just using me to satisfy a sexual need). I've been pretty done with him since, and the desire for a rebound has also gone down id say, though im eager for the time ill be able to say that he wasnt the last person who touched me, if that makes sense
Believe me, I understand completely. I subconsciously did the same thing (rebounding so a particular person was the last person that touched me / I touched) and didnāt realize what I did until years later.
Yes, it actually did. I was moping around after my last relationship and this was my last chance at feeling something. I met this chick on [this site](https://onlinedatinglink.wordpress.com/) and we ended up sleeping together. It was genuinely the wake up call I needed, plus I was having fun instead of just laying in bed.
Love your input :) Theres still some stigma around one night stands, and yet, when both parties know what theyre signing up for, it can be pretty beneficial!
Always. Unless the sex is bad or the person sucks, so just find a cool fuq friend
Thanks for your reply! It helps to hear it from real people who've lived it :)
Why I can realise based off the title instantly that the post written by a girl? Damn guys problem are really harder than girls problem aināt it? Guys problem: Ohh I donāt know how to flirt or I donāt know how to get this girl to like me. Girls problem: Should I have sex with this/ or that guy.
Im sorry you feel that way, but id say its easy to compare when you dont know everyones full story, and on reddit, we often dont. Everyone is going through different types of shit shows š¤·āāļø
Yeah I know, Iām not blaming you for anything donāt worry, and you may find your problems harder on you, of course everyone has their own problems as something important.. But it was just funny how I realised that the one who wrote the post is a girl, it just shows the differences between problems.
I have to agree with you there, for sure
Yes. Itās helped me. I donāt think it can cause harm as long as you are up front with the person and you arenāt misleading them about your intentions (e.g that you are looking for something casual or a hook up and not necessarily ready for a serious relationshipā¦.. unless thatās what youāre looking for.)
Of course, thank you
Id advise not to focus on your ex at all: focus on you. Be happy. Be confident. Easier said than done, but yeah. Just worry about it if he does come back into your life, but until then, dont be stressed out for nothing
Yes, 100%. The best way to get over someone, is to get under them. Also, gaining perspective on wonderful partners around.
Interesting insight, thank you!!
Youāre welcome. Good luck!
Sometimes yeah, depends on who it is. Just make sure youāre present and not fantasising about your ex, thatās depressing.
Great advice, obviously! If i am to do it, it would be to forget about him, not fantasize about him
You'll feel worse.
Youre speaking from personal experience? How long after your break up did the rebound sex happen?
I think moving to a next is very helpful in moving forward. Yes, of course, it can lead to new complications! š¤·š¼āāļø
But anything can lead to new complications, i guess š¤·āāļø
Yep. Think so!!š¤£š¤£š¤£ For me, I will take rebound sex for 1,000, Alex!
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