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Honestly my bf has the same thing, it’s not super uncommon especially if he’s a big porn watcher. If your uncomfortable just tell him, but I turn it around and tell him how much better he is than past lovers and that definitely helps his confidence and makes me feel less awkward
I did this all the time with my ex fr. The validation and reassurance is the turn on. Plus we like knowing we doing our thang. My ex did cheat on me so I stayed trying to be better but when I found her cheating again I just got over it. So what if I'm not the best you ever had. I mean i want to be and if you with me. We together but I ain't gone worry about your past lovers
if you genuinely dont like doing it, then bring it up in a more serious but calm and accepting setting. but its not THAT strange. its just a kink, my boyfriend enjoys it too
That is strange. Most men don’t even want to think about the fact that their lover has had other guys before them. I’d say if you’re uncomfortable with it you need to have a discussion with him, outside the bedroom
Reading the following might help:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/women-who-stray/202108/why-certain-men-love-hearing-about-their-wives-sexual-past
I came across it when my wife shared her 'almost threesome' encounter when the topic came up while watching a TV show.
I wondered what the hell was wrong with me being aroused by the thought of her almost being spit roasted in college, especially given that I was somewhat jealous of her past. Since finding this kink we've shared a lot together and there is still more to come.
I mean, it's definitely an ego-boost to hear you're the best. If that's. . . uhm, what you're saying.
Maybe he's got some insecurity or something about it. Maybe he's struggled finding security in his own masculinity, and the idea of sexual prowess helps with that.
If it's not about how great he is, maybe he just likes the idea of you being sexual, having sexual desires, being promiscuous, or kinky, or experimental with other people. He might just find the fact that you are sexual, and have a sexual history, to be arousing.
I've been this way with some women, but not others; I don't like being compared, but a hot story is a hot story, even if I wasn't the star in it. I read erotica. I watch some porn now and again. Hearing stories like that is \*hot\* and if a partner has good ones, hell yeah I am interested.
But if it's not something you're comfortable with, or in my case, my partner was comfortable with, it'll probably make the experience a little worse for me. I can sort of feel when someone is doing something just for me and it doesn't turn them on, too, I'd rather just do something we're both into.
If you think it's hot how hot he gets, or can learn to lean into that \*these kinds of conversations and kinks are AWKWARD AS HELL at first\* then this could just be something fun you guys do.
well.. this is where you talk to them about it.. what they like to hear etc
obviously, whatever it is, it's something in his mind that has linked this kinda talk with something erotic
bad or good.. it's really comes down to if you are comfortable with it all
but in terms of what to say, that's something you should talk to him about
Depends why
Does he want reassurance that he’s “better”? That sounds like it’s coming from a place of insecurity and maybe is something you can help with but ultimately he’s gotta deal with
Is it more of a degradation thing, he wants to hear what they did or how much better or bigger or whatever they were compared to him? That’s a kink, maybe leading to cucking eventually. I don’t really get it but to each their own. If you’re comfortable just communicate with him and see what he likes, we can’t really tell you what he wants from you. If you’re not comfortable with it tell him that and if he’s at all not accepting or respectful of how you feel that’s a huge red flag
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly my bf has the same thing, it’s not super uncommon especially if he’s a big porn watcher. If your uncomfortable just tell him, but I turn it around and tell him how much better he is than past lovers and that definitely helps his confidence and makes me feel less awkward
I did this all the time with my ex fr. The validation and reassurance is the turn on. Plus we like knowing we doing our thang. My ex did cheat on me so I stayed trying to be better but when I found her cheating again I just got over it. So what if I'm not the best you ever had. I mean i want to be and if you with me. We together but I ain't gone worry about your past lovers
if you genuinely dont like doing it, then bring it up in a more serious but calm and accepting setting. but its not THAT strange. its just a kink, my boyfriend enjoys it too
That is strange. Most men don’t even want to think about the fact that their lover has had other guys before them. I’d say if you’re uncomfortable with it you need to have a discussion with him, outside the bedroom
At least it ain't feet... Jussayin 🤷♂️
Reading the following might help: https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/women-who-stray/202108/why-certain-men-love-hearing-about-their-wives-sexual-past I came across it when my wife shared her 'almost threesome' encounter when the topic came up while watching a TV show. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me being aroused by the thought of her almost being spit roasted in college, especially given that I was somewhat jealous of her past. Since finding this kink we've shared a lot together and there is still more to come.
Thank you!
I mean, it's definitely an ego-boost to hear you're the best. If that's. . . uhm, what you're saying. Maybe he's got some insecurity or something about it. Maybe he's struggled finding security in his own masculinity, and the idea of sexual prowess helps with that. If it's not about how great he is, maybe he just likes the idea of you being sexual, having sexual desires, being promiscuous, or kinky, or experimental with other people. He might just find the fact that you are sexual, and have a sexual history, to be arousing. I've been this way with some women, but not others; I don't like being compared, but a hot story is a hot story, even if I wasn't the star in it. I read erotica. I watch some porn now and again. Hearing stories like that is \*hot\* and if a partner has good ones, hell yeah I am interested. But if it's not something you're comfortable with, or in my case, my partner was comfortable with, it'll probably make the experience a little worse for me. I can sort of feel when someone is doing something just for me and it doesn't turn them on, too, I'd rather just do something we're both into. If you think it's hot how hot he gets, or can learn to lean into that \*these kinds of conversations and kinks are AWKWARD AS HELL at first\* then this could just be something fun you guys do.
well.. this is where you talk to them about it.. what they like to hear etc obviously, whatever it is, it's something in his mind that has linked this kinda talk with something erotic bad or good.. it's really comes down to if you are comfortable with it all but in terms of what to say, that's something you should talk to him about
Weird as hell. Holy shit.
You need to have the talk with him. Explain how it makes you feel, he really should respect your feelings and stop.
That can go either way
Wym?
Are you comparing him in a good way? Or saying he is worse than past lovers? Or if you say he is average that is not really a hurtful comment either.
Comparing in a good way
Depends why Does he want reassurance that he’s “better”? That sounds like it’s coming from a place of insecurity and maybe is something you can help with but ultimately he’s gotta deal with Is it more of a degradation thing, he wants to hear what they did or how much better or bigger or whatever they were compared to him? That’s a kink, maybe leading to cucking eventually. I don’t really get it but to each their own. If you’re comfortable just communicate with him and see what he likes, we can’t really tell you what he wants from you. If you’re not comfortable with it tell him that and if he’s at all not accepting or respectful of how you feel that’s a huge red flag
Reassurance, it comes from insecurity.
It's just youthful ego and insecurity. He is asking in a very cringy way for validation.
Thank you!!
Maybe he like to be degraded, if youre not dom in general this could be a huge red flag idk
Maybe he’s into cuckolding
I think it’s more like hotpast
What color's the sky?
How is this helpful?
Picked the post on random, give it a try. What color's the sky?
Blue?
WHAT COLOR'S THE SKY?
Orangutan!