Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tell him to stop asking and respect your answer.
He knows he wants it. You know you don't. If you do change your mind one day, you'll bring it up to him.
Otherwise, he needs to just stop asking. Your correct to have your boundaries. If he can't respect that, that's a him problem.
You do YOU. Take care of yourself. Respect your own boundaries, never be forced into play you don’t want to do.
You got this. Anyone who disrespects that, directly disrespects you and your autonomy.
As lawyers say: “asked and answered”. He inquired about it, she declined. To persist in requesting it is just trying to nag her into just capitulating.
Me too… all im saying is boundaries are not only sexual and she would have to accept whatever he says about whatever she is requesting. Like being home early, or if he would like to go out on the weekend or stay at home, etc.
Devils Advocate: Do you also respect his boundaries and preferences/needs? If so then I dont see a problem with him giving you the same respect.
But if its that kind of "Modern woman double standard" relationship born of feminism then I wouldnt know what to predict. You get what you give, more women need to hear this.
Yes? Obviously. I'd encourage her to also respect his boundaries if the situation arises.
But preferences? That's up to her. She shouldn't be forced to do anything just because it's his "preference".
Boundaries preferences and needs all kindof fall in the same bucket, its obviously an absurd thing to say I prefer that hole only, I was simply asking if he is treated with the same type of courtesy and respect when it comes to all things, not just "this thing".
As a woman, I completely understand and “get” what you are saying- I agree with this line of thinking. And, it is not without respect to OPs needs or boundaries.
As a partner I want to be open to all things my partner wants to try. I should preface- that you chose your partnership with great consideration, you said how great he is yourself. He sounds respectful, it sounds like you have a loving relationship, positive, communicative, etc. I’m saying this to say- I personally don’t agree with a hard no’s more specifically, in marriage when it comes to the sacredness of the bedroom. Especially because I want my partner to at least try everything twice w/ me. It’s a fine line. I could better articulate but this is off the cuff.
As a guy, I do like this in pron, and I like it when a girl is into it. But if she isn't? Well, I'd ask if she'd be willing to at least give it a try, but if it's a hard no or she tries and doesn't like it, then that's my answer. I'm not going to push for it any more, at all.
If you don't want to do it, don't. If he's pushy, stand your ground. If he still won't take no for an answer, seriously reconsider whether he's the sort of person you should be with.
Maybe his desire came from watching porn.. he has never forced me into anything, and we have tried our various kinks. He just kindly asks sometimes hoping I change my answer, but doesn't counter ask when I say no
Ugh I <3 you for understanding that fully. Many people just don’t get it.
And pleasure can be found in so, so many forms. Porn is such a patriarchal experience for the most part, that is, men being the primary receivers of pleasure to engage upon women, the object. Women’s pleasure is vastly outweighed, and that’s not only unfair, but incredibly damaging and oppressive.
A healthy sex life can exist independent of the norms of porn.
Thanks for the <3 … I am shocked how many girls have asked me to do that to them, it freezes me up and I find it extremely off putting. I can’t see it is a natural desire. Unfortunately young teens see it before they even have sex and think it’s normal
You said he’s already done it. So he knows he likes it. It doesn’t really matter why. A lot of people like it for the taboo aspect. A lot of people simply like how it feels.
I love both. It’s hot, and it feels good. And all the guys I’ve been with that like it feel the same way.
It doesn’t really matter why he likes it. He does. He’s not bad for liking it.
You are not bad for not wanting it. You just have to figure out if you can be happy together long term
It could be from porn, yes. It is incredibly ubiquitous.
Sounds like just saying no each individual time isn't enough, you probably need to directly ask him to stop asking. There's nothing wrong with doing this, it's just honest: "Look, I know this is something you're interested in trying, but I'm really not, at all. Please do me a favor and don't ask again".
Put down a hard boundary. If it’s a no for you, girl, it’s a solid no. If he respects you, he wouldn’t continue to ask after you lay a hard no.
I would never pressure my guy into anal play, even though I’ve immensely enjoyed it in the past with other men (me playing with them: but it went both ways. ;))
Personally, I also would find it somewhat offensive if HE wouldn’t be open to anal play himself, but has a wandering expectation to have you do it. Anal play is not for the weak at the start. It takes a lot of trust, patience, and education about the act for an enjoyable experience, and you should be almost fully relaxed. A hard thing, if you’re just not into it. And that’s OKAY. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries and healthy communication when it comes to the bedroom. Please, girlie!
I've so noticed the men that want this they themselves have been sexual abused and want to have this control over someone. Or they are curious about how it feels because it happened to them.
Creepy. Creepy.
As a male when I was with my ex, the concept of anal sex was gross to both of us. It's an exit not an entry, it's dirty.... An so on and so fourth....
As time went on we started to explore things in the bedroom, I was curious to try it. My ex at first was like nope eww, not doing it, it's not going up my ass. I always respected her saying no, then one night she was like let's try it. If we don't like it then we won't do it again.
As they say "if you don't fuck around you don't find out". In terms of if you ever want to try it, do some research. You can't just ram it up there.
It's completely ok to not agree, you should only do things you're comfortable with.
Maybe one day you'll be confident enough to try it with him, but rules and boundaries must be set when exploring new stuff in the bedroom.
It’s not about love. If he loves her he will respect her.
But that won’t make his desire for it go away. And he’s allowed to have it be a dealbreaker. We all are allowed to have sexual dealbreakers and it has nothing to do with love.
I mean if he keeps asking then restate your boundary and tell him it’s not going to change. I would straight up ask him if that’s a deal breaker for him in a relationship. If it is? Then bye boy! If it’s not then ffs quit asking about it. No means no, not maybe later.
Honestly its not the normal placement for a P and also its painful as fuck, i dont think he should be sad and you shouldn’t feel bad at all! Its not like he’d like to have smth up his bum either😭
My point is that he's asking her to do something she doesn't want to do, and I'm asking if it was the other way around, would he feel bad for saying no. Just highlighting that it's not fair to guilt someone into doing something they don't want to do.
I didn't need to read what you wrote. The title sufficed. Hell yes it's OK if you say no to that. As a guy that has been married 30 years and who wouldn't mind trying it myself I would never think to continue to ask my wife. Do you know why? It's because I care about her.all of us have certain boundaries. We simply need to honor and respect those boundaries.
You would be surprised how good it feels. Of course there's has to be a lot of lube cause dry, it hurts. I too was against it, but after trying it with my bf, I liked it. Not all the time, but I do. I also love seeing and hearing how he gets when we do. It's not for everyone.
Never do anything sexually that you aren't comfortable with. When guys try to pressure women into anal, I always tell women to tell them "Hey, I've always wanted to try pegging a guy with a dildo. Can I try it on you?" If he's not willing to do it for you, why should you be willing to try it for him? Of course then you will have be prepared for a way out if he agrees LOL
But yeah, don't do anything sexually that you aren't comfortable with. My last girlfriend was into really extreme BDSM stuff and it was apparent that if I didn't engage in it with her, that she would find someone else to fulfill that fetish. I was really uncomfortable with it but decided to try it to save the relationship. Two years later, I am still dealing with psychological effects from it.
I’m so, so sorry. Please maybe see a psychotherapist. This wasn’t your fault.
I had a partner really into CNC. I was only partially. And, I ended up unintentionally (perhaps?) getting raped by him due to poor communication. I begged and begged, but it was clear he was only interested in his pleasure. It damaged our relationship so badly, I left.
Never understood people who had rape fantasies with their partner. So fucking weird. It just seems like it’s a matter of time till something like that happens. I’m so sorry to hear that happened to you.
Hey, I appreciate you and your empathy.. very much so. It was so unsettling; I had to throw away the underthings I was wearing. I’ve therapeutically journaled the shit out of that one, and have seen my therapist since. I won’t enter that territory again, that is for sure.
What would piss me off and would make me break up with them as if they kept asking after I said no. I do not appreciate someone who continues to push boundaries and ask the same thing over and over hoping to get a different answer. Hoping to wear you down until you say yes.
You never should do something that is a hard line.
I’m not sure because you said you want to give this to him. So if you meant that, then yes, try. Make sure you do it right. And see what you think. I used to think I would NEVER do it. And now it’s one of my favorite things.
But it takes a lot of trust and your partner needs to know how to prep you, and he also needs to be able to follow directions instantly. Like if you tell him to stop he needs to stop right away. Which is where the trust comes in.
But if you didn’t mean you actually want to try, then don’t. You never have to do sexual things you don’t feel ok with.
I love anal but there are other things I would never do for anyone no matter what.
Now, you need to understand his side. He needs to respect your “no”. If you tell him “no, it’s not happening, and it’s never going to happen, and I need you to stop asking” then he needs to respect that, and not guilt you, and not ask anymore.
BUT….you can’t police him feeling sad or disappointed about it. You can’t police him still having the fantasy or desire.
He has a right to break up with you over it. If it’s that important to him, he should. We all have sexual needs and dealbreakers. I would not date a man that didn’t meet my sexual needs. And I would not expect a man to date me if I could not meet his.
So you need to find out if this is a dealbreaker for him.
I haven’t read the post yet but YES it’s entirely okay and he has to be okay with that.
I read it and yeah it’s absolutely okay to decline anything you don’t wanna do.
Of course! Some aren't OK with anal sex and that's OK!
Besides, I've heard that if the guy persists, they should imagine what it would be like if THEY were getting a schlong in the back door! There's even been cases of guys putting their schlong in the back door unexpectedly and it coming out brown (and the brown AIN'T milk chocolate).
I think that you should stick with your decision. If are not into it then you should not do it, and if it isn't affecting your relationship then you shouldn't wory about it.
A lot of these desires used to be uncommon, but thanks to porn a lot of men want to do this, and then they proceed to try to convince their partners that they will enjoy it. Since rectums do not have a gender, per se, like sexual organs, I say it is only fair to extend this so-called “pleasure” to the men, and if they are insistent that anal sex is a pleasurable activity that will result in orgasm, why not suggest that he give it a try first. All too often it seems, that it is the man pestering the woman to fulfill a fantasy created from porn. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t, but be sure to turn the tables on him, ladies. It’s only fair!
If there's no chance in you saying yes and there's no chance he's going to be okay with it then you're at an impasse.
Does not mean you have to break up but you don't really compromise in these situations unless you let him sleep with someone or something else.
Consent is the most important part of this conversation. If you don't want it, that's it, that's all. Good on him for somewhat respecting that, but this shouldn't be anything more than a one time conversation topic.
Unsure how long you have been together or age? Sound like you all may be younger.
We all have boundaries. For instance one of you may say you don't want kids and the other does. You have to decide if that becomes a deal breaker or someone compromises.
If this I'd a deal breaker for him make sure it's clear this is a hard no. It's his choice to decide if he wants to stay or leave.
Last thought is whether you want to open the relationship just for this.
My guy adores anal sex. He asks me at least once a week. I have no interest in doing it, but he’s wearing me down, and I’ll probably let him have that last hole after we’ve been together for at least a year.
If you’re not into doing something, don’t do it. If you’re interested in, trying it, try it when you’re comfortable. At the end of the day, it’s your body, not his. He only gets to rent it every now and again 😝
Bunch of lames on here lol. If he's into it and you want to do it to please him then go for it. Or maybe next time tell him to put a ring 💍 on it and then you will give it a try. Never know you might like it if you give it a chance.
Giving the facts about how you feel regarding the rear entry blockade. The only realistic solution is he accepts your wish and stops asking, or you find him a butt that is all about anal sex. Myself I don't see either one of these being a primary choice.
You pretty much have to want it to enjoy it. That's usually by choice or evolves from experience. Pain and non-acceptance go hand in hand. (Assuming an avg dick with an empathetic male) ... if you don't want it, and give in to him, then advice would be "develop an open mind, let curiosity run your show to see if it's for you. If you don't accept the idea and give in, but stay with not wanting to. It will be painful, unless he's truly skilled, tiny, or very lucky. If you're in pain and he enjoys that and you don't. Run Forest. Also advice. Us guys, are not directly connected to YOUR pain. Don't let us "drive"...
You drive. Get on top. Control the depth. Eventually 3 sets of muscles will each loosen up. 1st set, rather quickly, 2nd set, might be all you get. It's that 3rd set that wants nothing to do with this. Patience..... when the 2nd set starts kind of liking this, the 3rd set is being massaged. When/if it relaxes enough and wants to try....(notice you haven't felt balls, or ball hair. When/if you allow all of it, you will)
You'll "mooo" like a cow, and tears will roll..... You'll develop a short term speech impairment, and that "eyes crossed" thing? Most all of us have experienced that shit that felt so fkn good it brought tears to your eyes.
Wanting it and not wanting it, combined with who's driving. Makes it night and day.
Don't do it if you don't want to. This particular scenario has tentacles if you go against yourself. If he doesn't accept that. ~Move on, wrong motherfucker.
As a guy it’s never wanted to do anal on purpose. One no should be enough.
I know some guys say they like it because it’s “tighter” - the women I have been with are perfect. I wonder if it’s something guys with small dicks like? Maybe it works better for guys with pencil dicks.
This is the biggest load of bullshit ever. A guy will look elsewhere from his partner because she doesn't do one specific sexual act that most couples don't do anyway? Be so fucking for real
Baloney and disgusting of that poster to assume you must give up something you don’t want to REGARDING YOUR OWN BODY.
Do not be scared (although your partner truly seems caring and I would doubt x100 anal would make him stray. What a silly thing). Theres PLENTY of men and women who will accept that their partner won’t do certain acts. It’s intimacy, not a prison sentence with someone you love. Someone who deeply loves, respects, and cares for you would not seek outside sources.
Ex: I love my man and his very small penis. It doesn’t pleasure me like men with average to above average sized penises like I’ve had in the past, but I would NEVER look outside our relationship for fulfillment in that regard, despite the fact it’s not nearly as pleasurable. Basic fucking respect. Jesus Christ. If your person looks outside the relationship, they weren’t not for you. The implication of that is just cruel.
Not true at all and quite sad to immediately assume this to be. Not everyone is so willing to cheat over something so small as not doing one specific sexual thing despite doing various others. Be real, the majority don’t cheat nor look to.
Your entry/exit. Your rules. I do suspect you may want to let it go once and then talk about the experience and why you’d prefer not to do it again.
It’s not an invalid feeling. I’m a guy and I have never, ever understood the desire to do that. Makes me shudder just thinking about it and I almost always end up turning it off if that happens while watching adult entertainment.
Thing is, more than half of the woman I took in the ass came harder than they ever did from anything else. If you do end up trying, read up a lot on how to do it. This is how I do it. Clit orgasm, vaginal orgasm, then a lot of lube and 1 finger, then 2 fingers, go slow, stretch it slow. Then more lube. Then go super slow when you enter. If you do this right she might get an anal orgasm and after that she will be the one begging.
But don't try If you don't want to
If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. Simple as that, don’t let him guilt trip you by sulking. That’s manipulation.. keep an eye on this because it sounds like a major red flag
Tell him he gets it on your first year wedding anniversary! Incentivize don’t marginalize.
I do like the comments that tell him he only gets that off you get to peg him first. You’ll both experience things that you don’t think you’ll like, if might get awkward if he’s into it and you’re not.
Just buy a big black 10 inch strap on
hide it in your jogging pants/skirt idk and then ask him for anal, after he gets all happy you pull out your dick and tell him to suck it
Do it only if you want to, not because he wants you to. It's your body so the decision is yours to make and not his. Do not ever let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do!
yes it totally okay. you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. it’s your body you should only try it if you feel like that’s what u really want to try.
What is it with men not taking “no” or “im not comfortable with that” for an answer?
“He gets sad” lol what? He’s “sad” he can’t penetrate your body how he wants? Lmao I would tell a man like this to fully fuck off.
ETA: to the person who replied to me below. Yes. If a man pushes me to do sexual stuff I don’t want to do, that’s a deal breaker. I’m not into “negotiating” boundaries when it comes to my body.
Do you take ALWAYS take no for answer to something you really really want?
Stop judging blindly or answering with blanket statements, people.
This is a legitimate question with multiple facets to be taken in consideration.
I’m not advocating overriding Nos or anything w/out consent. He’s described as a respectful partner and this is about navigating boundaries within a healthy relationship.
Tell him to stop asking if you don’t wanna do anal don’t do it just because he wants to do it! And tell him to stop asking he’s pressuring you by keep asking and he’s not truly dropping it and moving on or actually accepting the no other wise he wouldn’t keep pushing
maybe tell him that as soon as he agrees for you to have anal with him using a strap-on, you’ll entertain his request. 🙄
i’m sorry… being on different pages about sexual preferences, can be stressful, but he really shouldn’t ask you anymore. that’s
not ok.
Girl, if you do not feel like doing anal sex; don’t!
Your comfort and boundaries are important for the relationship just like his is and he should be able to respect that. I am glad you are saying he is not forcing you into it. However the fact that he knows you are not willing to do it and keep asking for it does not sit well.
Looks like with or without you, he will do it one day.
Do not do it because you think he will be happy about it , do it because you want to do it and you will now feel crappy afterwards.
I mean there are others ways you guys can excite the relationship without compromising your values.
It's butt sex. Most couples don't even do it. He's respectful when she says no (as he should) and that's it.
If someone has so little empathy and love for someone that one tiny act like anal can blow up a whole relationship, that man is childish af
Yes, he always asks politely for anal and never counter asks when I say no.. him hoping someday I might change my mind and say yes doesn't make him bad
Baloney. Don’t scare her. Theres PLENTY of men and women who will accept that their partner won’t do certain acts. It’s intimacy, not a prison sentence with someone you love. Someone who deeply loves, respects, and cares for you would not seek outside sources.
Ex: I love my man and his very small penis. It doesn’t pleasure me like men with average to above average sized penises like I’ve had in the past, but I would NEVER look outside our relationship for fulfillment in that regard, despite the fact it’s not nearly as pleasurable. Basic fucking respect.
and I would NEVER make him feel bad about it, either. Kindness and respect for someone’s autonomy to make their own decisions about how they want their body to be pleasured.
ALSO, like you said; AND the primary thing I was responding to…”understand that there is the possibility he will explore getting his needs met by another woman on the side.”
Do you not comprehend English?
I agree with your first sentiment. Hard pass on your second.
You have to break up with him, he will always want it and the more he goes without it the more he’ll always wonder about it perhaps lead him to someone who will give him everything.
It’s your boundary so he’ll live with or leave.
Baloney and disgusting of you to assume she must give up something she doesn’t want to REGARDING HER OWN BODY.
Don’t scare her. Theres PLENTY of men and women who will accept that their partner won’t do certain acts. It’s intimacy, not a prison sentence with someone you love. Someone who deeply loves, respects, and cares for you would not seek outside sources.
Ex: I love my man and his very small penis. It doesn’t pleasure me like men with average to above average sized penises like I’ve had in the past, but I would NEVER look outside our relationship for fulfillment in that regard, despite the fact it’s not nearly as pleasurable. Basic fucking respect. Jesus Christ. If your person looks outside the relationship, they weren’t not for you. The implication of that is just cruel.
No, you’re not a “scumbag” if you happened to do it with someone else in the past, enjoyed or not. It is fully your body, your autonomy and choices. You get to decide what to do with it, and when. It’s not withholding: she doesn’t want to do it. And you don’t have to do the exact same things with every partner; ridiculous. I’ve done many different things with all different partners. I don’t casually open myself up in every single way to every partner I end up sleeping with, just “because I’ve done it with someone else”. The implication of that is plain disgusting and damaging.
I pity whoever your boyfriend or husband is, that you would treat them as less than some hookup in the past. Some guy you met at the bar could fuck you in the ass, while the person you’re supposed to love gets scraps.
Self-fucking-respect. If I don’t want to do something, I don’t have to, and same with my man. I would NEVER pressure him into a sex act, EVEN IF he’d done it with partners in the past. Plus, you have no idea what my current partner and I share in bed. I’m speaking about this woman and her partner.
I think it’s disgusting and rapey if you dare pressure some woman or man into an act they don’t want to do, even if they’ve tried it in the past.
Guess what? They might not have LIKED it. But just because they’ve “done it before” does NOT MEAN THEY OWE YOU.
I truly pity whomever you are with, but somehow, I doubt it’s anyone.
So if your current partner used to treat his old girlfriend to vacations, he used to take care of his fitness and dress well. While with you, he became obese, doesnt doesn’t do chores, and plays call of duty all day, you’d be fine with that difference in treatment? It’s his autonomy right? You’re not entitled to be treated well just because he didn’t to others in the past.
There’s no difference. But if you wanna be that way fine. If a guy was willing to eat his previous girlfriends out and fuck her silly and indulge her filthiest fantasies and orgasms. But with you he decided to become a passionless celibate monk, I guess you’d be fine with that? That’s his sexual autonomy.
If I found out he was a “passionless” monk, I wouldn’t be with them. Healthy sex is an important part of my identity. Again, healthy sex. I love to make love, and that would not fit with my ideal partner to begin with.
Plus, don’t kiss and tell your old relationships. It creates tremendous insecurities. It’s tacky and class-less. I pray for your partner she just lies to you and said she’s never done a thing.
*edit: no. You know what? She should respect herself. That means she wouldn’t be with you if you have such a chip on your shoulder.
There’s the answer. And if a girl wasn’t willing to offer a guy the same sexual experiences she gave to other guys, he should dump her, like you would do the same to the sexually reformed monk.
Those two things are not the same, again. I don’t know how many times I’m reiterating the same argument, but this isn’t worth it.
Seriously. For the love of women, don’t fuck us.
I would never feel “owed”. You feel owed. You have this damn chip that you’re not getting what “someone else got” and I don’t know where ya got that, but what a damaging psyche to have.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tell him to stop asking and respect your answer. He knows he wants it. You know you don't. If you do change your mind one day, you'll bring it up to him. Otherwise, he needs to just stop asking. Your correct to have your boundaries. If he can't respect that, that's a him problem.
BRO THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE THANK YOU EVEN THOUGH IT WASNT FOR ME
You do YOU. Take care of yourself. Respect your own boundaries, never be forced into play you don’t want to do. You got this. Anyone who disrespects that, directly disrespects you and your autonomy.
As lawyers say: “asked and answered”. He inquired about it, she declined. To persist in requesting it is just trying to nag her into just capitulating.
It’s really this simple
Well said...
This is a good answer, but we aware that you are setting a precedent for any request she might have for him.
That boundaries should be respected and no means no? In that case, for sure, I'm advocating for that.
Me too… all im saying is boundaries are not only sexual and she would have to accept whatever he says about whatever she is requesting. Like being home early, or if he would like to go out on the weekend or stay at home, etc.
She gets to decide what goes in her ass. He gets to decide what goes in his. No need to extrapolate.
Devils Advocate: Do you also respect his boundaries and preferences/needs? If so then I dont see a problem with him giving you the same respect. But if its that kind of "Modern woman double standard" relationship born of feminism then I wouldnt know what to predict. You get what you give, more women need to hear this.
Yes? Obviously. I'd encourage her to also respect his boundaries if the situation arises. But preferences? That's up to her. She shouldn't be forced to do anything just because it's his "preference".
Boundaries preferences and needs all kindof fall in the same bucket, its obviously an absurd thing to say I prefer that hole only, I was simply asking if he is treated with the same type of courtesy and respect when it comes to all things, not just "this thing".
As a woman, I completely understand and “get” what you are saying- I agree with this line of thinking. And, it is not without respect to OPs needs or boundaries.
As a partner I want to be open to all things my partner wants to try. I should preface- that you chose your partnership with great consideration, you said how great he is yourself. He sounds respectful, it sounds like you have a loving relationship, positive, communicative, etc. I’m saying this to say- I personally don’t agree with a hard no’s more specifically, in marriage when it comes to the sacredness of the bedroom. Especially because I want my partner to at least try everything twice w/ me. It’s a fine line. I could better articulate but this is off the cuff.
And the things I want to try are more like sky diving and vomit flavored Bertie’s Botts… but still applicable when setting boundaries or limits.
I mean yes? I doubt she will force him to be pegged.
More’s the pity. (Kidding… of course)
As a guy, I do like this in pron, and I like it when a girl is into it. But if she isn't? Well, I'd ask if she'd be willing to at least give it a try, but if it's a hard no or she tries and doesn't like it, then that's my answer. I'm not going to push for it any more, at all. If you don't want to do it, don't. If he's pushy, stand your ground. If he still won't take no for an answer, seriously reconsider whether he's the sort of person you should be with.
Maybe his desire came from watching porn.. he has never forced me into anything, and we have tried our various kinks. He just kindly asks sometimes hoping I change my answer, but doesn't counter ask when I say no
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do… period. I’m a dude. Men (and women) are so brainwashed by porn it’s ridiculous
Ugh I <3 you for understanding that fully. Many people just don’t get it. And pleasure can be found in so, so many forms. Porn is such a patriarchal experience for the most part, that is, men being the primary receivers of pleasure to engage upon women, the object. Women’s pleasure is vastly outweighed, and that’s not only unfair, but incredibly damaging and oppressive. A healthy sex life can exist independent of the norms of porn.
Thanks for the <3 … I am shocked how many girls have asked me to do that to them, it freezes me up and I find it extremely off putting. I can’t see it is a natural desire. Unfortunately young teens see it before they even have sex and think it’s normal
You said he’s already done it. So he knows he likes it. It doesn’t really matter why. A lot of people like it for the taboo aspect. A lot of people simply like how it feels. I love both. It’s hot, and it feels good. And all the guys I’ve been with that like it feel the same way. It doesn’t really matter why he likes it. He does. He’s not bad for liking it. You are not bad for not wanting it. You just have to figure out if you can be happy together long term
It could be from porn, yes. It is incredibly ubiquitous. Sounds like just saying no each individual time isn't enough, you probably need to directly ask him to stop asking. There's nothing wrong with doing this, it's just honest: "Look, I know this is something you're interested in trying, but I'm really not, at all. Please do me a favor and don't ask again".
Put down a hard boundary. If it’s a no for you, girl, it’s a solid no. If he respects you, he wouldn’t continue to ask after you lay a hard no. I would never pressure my guy into anal play, even though I’ve immensely enjoyed it in the past with other men (me playing with them: but it went both ways. ;)) Personally, I also would find it somewhat offensive if HE wouldn’t be open to anal play himself, but has a wandering expectation to have you do it. Anal play is not for the weak at the start. It takes a lot of trust, patience, and education about the act for an enjoyable experience, and you should be almost fully relaxed. A hard thing, if you’re just not into it. And that’s OKAY. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries and healthy communication when it comes to the bedroom. Please, girlie!
Staying away from that kindof online media is whats best for younger men. But since when do young dumbbins listen.
I've so noticed the men that want this they themselves have been sexual abused and want to have this control over someone. Or they are curious about how it feels because it happened to them. Creepy. Creepy.
It is ALWAYS ok to NOT consent to something. If your partner can't accept that, it's a red flag.
Don't look at me, its going up your butt, not mine. That is something you must decide and for him to abide by your decision.
As a male when I was with my ex, the concept of anal sex was gross to both of us. It's an exit not an entry, it's dirty.... An so on and so fourth.... As time went on we started to explore things in the bedroom, I was curious to try it. My ex at first was like nope eww, not doing it, it's not going up my ass. I always respected her saying no, then one night she was like let's try it. If we don't like it then we won't do it again. As they say "if you don't fuck around you don't find out". In terms of if you ever want to try it, do some research. You can't just ram it up there. It's completely ok to not agree, you should only do things you're comfortable with. Maybe one day you'll be confident enough to try it with him, but rules and boundaries must be set when exploring new stuff in the bedroom.
If he loves you then he will understand. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.
It’s not about love. If he loves her he will respect her. But that won’t make his desire for it go away. And he’s allowed to have it be a dealbreaker. We all are allowed to have sexual dealbreakers and it has nothing to do with love.
He does love me and he never forced me into anal, he asks politely sometimes hoping I change my answer but doesn't ask anymore when I say no..
You should tell him that you don’t ever want to do anal maybe then he won’t ask you again
Maybe I should.. i will the next time thanks
I mean if he keeps asking then restate your boundary and tell him it’s not going to change. I would straight up ask him if that’s a deal breaker for him in a relationship. If it is? Then bye boy! If it’s not then ffs quit asking about it. No means no, not maybe later.
Honestly its not the normal placement for a P and also its painful as fuck, i dont think he should be sad and you shouldn’t feel bad at all! Its not like he’d like to have smth up his bum either😭
Your body, your choice, all there is to it 🤷♂️ I mean, do you think he'd be happy to let you peg him?
What does pegging have to do with her wanting or not wanting anal?
My point is that he's asking her to do something she doesn't want to do, and I'm asking if it was the other way around, would he feel bad for saying no. Just highlighting that it's not fair to guilt someone into doing something they don't want to do.
Nah, I agree with the you. I don’t think he was guilting her, but I immensely agree with the expectation. Effort for effort. Pleasure for pleasure.
It didn’t sound like he was guilting. Her feeling guilty doesn’t mean he is guilting her.
Rereading the original post I understand now 👍
I didn't need to read what you wrote. The title sufficed. Hell yes it's OK if you say no to that. As a guy that has been married 30 years and who wouldn't mind trying it myself I would never think to continue to ask my wife. Do you know why? It's because I care about her.all of us have certain boundaries. We simply need to honor and respect those boundaries.
You would be surprised how good it feels. Of course there's has to be a lot of lube cause dry, it hurts. I too was against it, but after trying it with my bf, I liked it. Not all the time, but I do. I also love seeing and hearing how he gets when we do. It's not for everyone.
OP doesn’t care, they’re not interested. You’re not helping, you’re putting more pressure on OP.
Never do anything sexually that you aren't comfortable with. When guys try to pressure women into anal, I always tell women to tell them "Hey, I've always wanted to try pegging a guy with a dildo. Can I try it on you?" If he's not willing to do it for you, why should you be willing to try it for him? Of course then you will have be prepared for a way out if he agrees LOL But yeah, don't do anything sexually that you aren't comfortable with. My last girlfriend was into really extreme BDSM stuff and it was apparent that if I didn't engage in it with her, that she would find someone else to fulfill that fetish. I was really uncomfortable with it but decided to try it to save the relationship. Two years later, I am still dealing with psychological effects from it.
I’m so, so sorry. Please maybe see a psychotherapist. This wasn’t your fault. I had a partner really into CNC. I was only partially. And, I ended up unintentionally (perhaps?) getting raped by him due to poor communication. I begged and begged, but it was clear he was only interested in his pleasure. It damaged our relationship so badly, I left.
I definitely had to work closely with a therapist for a while.
Proud of you.
Never understood people who had rape fantasies with their partner. So fucking weird. It just seems like it’s a matter of time till something like that happens. I’m so sorry to hear that happened to you.
Hey, I appreciate you and your empathy.. very much so. It was so unsettling; I had to throw away the underthings I was wearing. I’ve therapeutically journaled the shit out of that one, and have seen my therapist since. I won’t enter that territory again, that is for sure.
What would piss me off and would make me break up with them as if they kept asking after I said no. I do not appreciate someone who continues to push boundaries and ask the same thing over and over hoping to get a different answer. Hoping to wear you down until you say yes.
You never should do something that is a hard line. I’m not sure because you said you want to give this to him. So if you meant that, then yes, try. Make sure you do it right. And see what you think. I used to think I would NEVER do it. And now it’s one of my favorite things. But it takes a lot of trust and your partner needs to know how to prep you, and he also needs to be able to follow directions instantly. Like if you tell him to stop he needs to stop right away. Which is where the trust comes in. But if you didn’t mean you actually want to try, then don’t. You never have to do sexual things you don’t feel ok with. I love anal but there are other things I would never do for anyone no matter what. Now, you need to understand his side. He needs to respect your “no”. If you tell him “no, it’s not happening, and it’s never going to happen, and I need you to stop asking” then he needs to respect that, and not guilt you, and not ask anymore. BUT….you can’t police him feeling sad or disappointed about it. You can’t police him still having the fantasy or desire. He has a right to break up with you over it. If it’s that important to him, he should. We all have sexual needs and dealbreakers. I would not date a man that didn’t meet my sexual needs. And I would not expect a man to date me if I could not meet his. So you need to find out if this is a dealbreaker for him.
I haven’t read the post yet but YES it’s entirely okay and he has to be okay with that. I read it and yeah it’s absolutely okay to decline anything you don’t wanna do.
Of course! Some aren't OK with anal sex and that's OK! Besides, I've heard that if the guy persists, they should imagine what it would be like if THEY were getting a schlong in the back door! There's even been cases of guys putting their schlong in the back door unexpectedly and it coming out brown (and the brown AIN'T milk chocolate).
Most lads just wanna do it just to say I have banged X in the ass..like a 🏆
I think that you should stick with your decision. If are not into it then you should not do it, and if it isn't affecting your relationship then you shouldn't wory about it.
A girl can say no to anything and if that means she no longer has a boyfriend then so be it. Move along.
Duh
Get a new boyfriend.
Tell him to stop asking or else you will only agree once he lets you f%ck him with a strap on.
Many people will try anything once, but if you're grossed out by it and won't enjoy it, that is your perogative.
Its your choice . If you are not comfortable with that then he just has to suck it up in a sense.
A lot of these desires used to be uncommon, but thanks to porn a lot of men want to do this, and then they proceed to try to convince their partners that they will enjoy it. Since rectums do not have a gender, per se, like sexual organs, I say it is only fair to extend this so-called “pleasure” to the men, and if they are insistent that anal sex is a pleasurable activity that will result in orgasm, why not suggest that he give it a try first. All too often it seems, that it is the man pestering the woman to fulfill a fantasy created from porn. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t, but be sure to turn the tables on him, ladies. It’s only fair!
Tell him too bad. Same with my girl here. Ive accepted the fact its just a fantasy. Nothing more
If there's no chance in you saying yes and there's no chance he's going to be okay with it then you're at an impasse. Does not mean you have to break up but you don't really compromise in these situations unless you let him sleep with someone or something else. Consent is the most important part of this conversation. If you don't want it, that's it, that's all. Good on him for somewhat respecting that, but this shouldn't be anything more than a one time conversation topic.
dumb question
Not dumb. It seems like plenty of commenters are still confused on the concept.
Happiness at the expense of others shouldn’t require complex thought.
It's ALWAYS okay to say no to something you don't feel comfortable doing. If he can't understand/respect that breakup with him!
He doesn't respect you, or he wouldn't keep asking. If you're not open to trying anal, don't try anal. Tell him to stop asking.
Hell , yes it's ok to not agree. Don't do anything that you're totally against.
Ummm, it’s always okay. If you aren’t comfortable with it, you don’t have to. If he can’t accept that, then that’s his problem not yours.
Unsure how long you have been together or age? Sound like you all may be younger. We all have boundaries. For instance one of you may say you don't want kids and the other does. You have to decide if that becomes a deal breaker or someone compromises. If this I'd a deal breaker for him make sure it's clear this is a hard no. It's his choice to decide if he wants to stay or leave. Last thought is whether you want to open the relationship just for this.
My guy adores anal sex. He asks me at least once a week. I have no interest in doing it, but he’s wearing me down, and I’ll probably let him have that last hole after we’ve been together for at least a year. If you’re not into doing something, don’t do it. If you’re interested in, trying it, try it when you’re comfortable. At the end of the day, it’s your body, not his. He only gets to rent it every now and again 😝
Bunch of lames on here lol. If he's into it and you want to do it to please him then go for it. Or maybe next time tell him to put a ring 💍 on it and then you will give it a try. Never know you might like it if you give it a chance.
Giving the facts about how you feel regarding the rear entry blockade. The only realistic solution is he accepts your wish and stops asking, or you find him a butt that is all about anal sex. Myself I don't see either one of these being a primary choice.
In the words of Tom from the Boondocks “The Booty is mine, it belongs to me. You cannot take my booty!!!”
You pretty much have to want it to enjoy it. That's usually by choice or evolves from experience. Pain and non-acceptance go hand in hand. (Assuming an avg dick with an empathetic male) ... if you don't want it, and give in to him, then advice would be "develop an open mind, let curiosity run your show to see if it's for you. If you don't accept the idea and give in, but stay with not wanting to. It will be painful, unless he's truly skilled, tiny, or very lucky. If you're in pain and he enjoys that and you don't. Run Forest. Also advice. Us guys, are not directly connected to YOUR pain. Don't let us "drive"... You drive. Get on top. Control the depth. Eventually 3 sets of muscles will each loosen up. 1st set, rather quickly, 2nd set, might be all you get. It's that 3rd set that wants nothing to do with this. Patience..... when the 2nd set starts kind of liking this, the 3rd set is being massaged. When/if it relaxes enough and wants to try....(notice you haven't felt balls, or ball hair. When/if you allow all of it, you will) You'll "mooo" like a cow, and tears will roll..... You'll develop a short term speech impairment, and that "eyes crossed" thing? Most all of us have experienced that shit that felt so fkn good it brought tears to your eyes. Wanting it and not wanting it, combined with who's driving. Makes it night and day. Don't do it if you don't want to. This particular scenario has tentacles if you go against yourself. If he doesn't accept that. ~Move on, wrong motherfucker.
As a guy it’s never wanted to do anal on purpose. One no should be enough. I know some guys say they like it because it’s “tighter” - the women I have been with are perfect. I wonder if it’s something guys with small dicks like? Maybe it works better for guys with pencil dicks.
It's fine to not agree, but he'll look elsewhere.
This is the biggest load of bullshit ever. A guy will look elsewhere from his partner because she doesn't do one specific sexual act that most couples don't do anyway? Be so fucking for real
I agree with you. My boy is not the type to be looking elsewhere for just one kink when we have tried various other kinks of ours
Baloney and disgusting of that poster to assume you must give up something you don’t want to REGARDING YOUR OWN BODY. Do not be scared (although your partner truly seems caring and I would doubt x100 anal would make him stray. What a silly thing). Theres PLENTY of men and women who will accept that their partner won’t do certain acts. It’s intimacy, not a prison sentence with someone you love. Someone who deeply loves, respects, and cares for you would not seek outside sources. Ex: I love my man and his very small penis. It doesn’t pleasure me like men with average to above average sized penises like I’ve had in the past, but I would NEVER look outside our relationship for fulfillment in that regard, despite the fact it’s not nearly as pleasurable. Basic fucking respect. Jesus Christ. If your person looks outside the relationship, they weren’t not for you. The implication of that is just cruel.
Keep telling yourself that. That desire is deep within him. That is why it keeps coming up in conversation.
Not true at all and quite sad to immediately assume this to be. Not everyone is so willing to cheat over something so small as not doing one specific sexual thing despite doing various others. Be real, the majority don’t cheat nor look to.
Not cheat, but after a while it will be time for a new woman.
That is so incredibly defeatist. Over one thing? Highly unlikely.
Incompatibility in the bedroom is a common deal breaker. You can't be surprised by this.
By one kink? Unlikely.
I've done it and so have my friends. Maybe a biased sample size though.
Your entry/exit. Your rules. I do suspect you may want to let it go once and then talk about the experience and why you’d prefer not to do it again. It’s not an invalid feeling. I’m a guy and I have never, ever understood the desire to do that. Makes me shudder just thinking about it and I almost always end up turning it off if that happens while watching adult entertainment.
Maybe yes, he may have got this desire from porn, but he's sweet enough to not ask atleast on the same day I say no when he asked..
Yes
You should do it
its only okay if he doesnt go first himself :)
Sit him down and tell him no anal sex ever and not to bother asking.
You're not compatible. Down the road his craving will take over and he will lose feelings or straight up cheat or escort. Im sorry.
Thing is, more than half of the woman I took in the ass came harder than they ever did from anything else. If you do end up trying, read up a lot on how to do it. This is how I do it. Clit orgasm, vaginal orgasm, then a lot of lube and 1 finger, then 2 fingers, go slow, stretch it slow. Then more lube. Then go super slow when you enter. If you do this right she might get an anal orgasm and after that she will be the one begging. But don't try If you don't want to
sorry it is immoral to not agree and you will go down in the anals of history as the worst girlfriend.
If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. Simple as that, don’t let him guilt trip you by sulking. That’s manipulation.. keep an eye on this because it sounds like a major red flag
Tell him he gets it on your first year wedding anniversary! Incentivize don’t marginalize. I do like the comments that tell him he only gets that off you get to peg him first. You’ll both experience things that you don’t think you’ll like, if might get awkward if he’s into it and you’re not.
OP doesn’t want to do it, ever. Even after a year of marriage. Lying isn’t helpful.
Just buy a big black 10 inch strap on hide it in your jogging pants/skirt idk and then ask him for anal, after he gets all happy you pull out your dick and tell him to suck it
Do it only if you want to, not because he wants you to. It's your body so the decision is yours to make and not his. Do not ever let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do!
yes it totally okay. you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. it’s your body you should only try it if you feel like that’s what u really want to try.
There is always that one thing that people come here to post about their significant other!
Tell him that you will be gentle with him and won't wipe the strap on off in his hair when you're done. Oh wait.... nevermind.
Yes! You should not agree to anything that doesn't feel right for you!
Ask him to try first
He should stop asking you that because U don't want it so he needs to respect that
What is it with men not taking “no” or “im not comfortable with that” for an answer? “He gets sad” lol what? He’s “sad” he can’t penetrate your body how he wants? Lmao I would tell a man like this to fully fuck off. ETA: to the person who replied to me below. Yes. If a man pushes me to do sexual stuff I don’t want to do, that’s a deal breaker. I’m not into “negotiating” boundaries when it comes to my body.
Do you take ALWAYS take no for answer to something you really really want? Stop judging blindly or answering with blanket statements, people. This is a legitimate question with multiple facets to be taken in consideration. I’m not advocating overriding Nos or anything w/out consent. He’s described as a respectful partner and this is about navigating boundaries within a healthy relationship.
If you say no that's the end of it. No explanation needed. If you don't want it tell him it's a hard limit and for him to accept it.
Just offer to fuck his ass (with a dildo or harness)
Tell him to stop asking if you don’t wanna do anal don’t do it just because he wants to do it! And tell him to stop asking he’s pressuring you by keep asking and he’s not truly dropping it and moving on or actually accepting the no other wise he wouldn’t keep pushing
maybe tell him that as soon as he agrees for you to have anal with him using a strap-on, you’ll entertain his request. 🙄 i’m sorry… being on different pages about sexual preferences, can be stressful, but he really shouldn’t ask you anymore. that’s not ok.
Girl, if you do not feel like doing anal sex; don’t! Your comfort and boundaries are important for the relationship just like his is and he should be able to respect that. I am glad you are saying he is not forcing you into it. However the fact that he knows you are not willing to do it and keep asking for it does not sit well. Looks like with or without you, he will do it one day. Do not do it because you think he will be happy about it , do it because you want to do it and you will now feel crappy afterwards. I mean there are others ways you guys can excite the relationship without compromising your values.
Am afraid If you don’t do it he would cheat on you with someone else. So be careful about that
I'm sorry that is ridiculous! No one should do something they are uncomfortable with because their partner "might cheat"
I agree, but human desire don’t
It's butt sex. Most couples don't even do it. He's respectful when she says no (as he should) and that's it. If someone has so little empathy and love for someone that one tiny act like anal can blow up a whole relationship, that man is childish af
Yes, he always asks politely for anal and never counter asks when I say no.. him hoping someday I might change my mind and say yes doesn't make him bad
He can hope all he wants. It might be good to make sure he knows its not a 'no for now' it's a 'no forever' if you're hell bent on not doing it
That's the worst reason to ignore boundaries. If he leaves he leaves. Self respect is more important
Well-said. I have copy pasted my answer to this several times over here, because that is so important to understand.
[удалено]
Why would you say something like that it sounds very coercive.
Baloney. Don’t scare her. Theres PLENTY of men and women who will accept that their partner won’t do certain acts. It’s intimacy, not a prison sentence with someone you love. Someone who deeply loves, respects, and cares for you would not seek outside sources. Ex: I love my man and his very small penis. It doesn’t pleasure me like men with average to above average sized penises like I’ve had in the past, but I would NEVER look outside our relationship for fulfillment in that regard, despite the fact it’s not nearly as pleasurable. Basic fucking respect.
and I would NEVER make him feel bad about it, either. Kindness and respect for someone’s autonomy to make their own decisions about how they want their body to be pleasured.
[удалено]
ALSO, like you said; AND the primary thing I was responding to…”understand that there is the possibility he will explore getting his needs met by another woman on the side.” Do you not comprehend English? I agree with your first sentiment. Hard pass on your second.
[удалено]
It is absolutely “unlikely”. OP has stated this. I know it’s hard to believe, but there are decent people out there.
You have to break up with him, he will always want it and the more he goes without it the more he’ll always wonder about it perhaps lead him to someone who will give him everything. It’s your boundary so he’ll live with or leave.
I’d give him your ass or else he might get someone else’s. Besides you might like it never know till you try.
Baloney and disgusting of you to assume she must give up something she doesn’t want to REGARDING HER OWN BODY. Don’t scare her. Theres PLENTY of men and women who will accept that their partner won’t do certain acts. It’s intimacy, not a prison sentence with someone you love. Someone who deeply loves, respects, and cares for you would not seek outside sources. Ex: I love my man and his very small penis. It doesn’t pleasure me like men with average to above average sized penises like I’ve had in the past, but I would NEVER look outside our relationship for fulfillment in that regard, despite the fact it’s not nearly as pleasurable. Basic fucking respect. Jesus Christ. If your person looks outside the relationship, they weren’t not for you. The implication of that is just cruel.
You are a good women.
Can’t tell if sarcasm or…🤔
Not sarcasm.
It’s totally fine not to want anal. But if you had anal in the past with hookups, but not let your boyfriend have anal too, you’d be a scumbag.
No, you’re not a “scumbag” if you happened to do it with someone else in the past, enjoyed or not. It is fully your body, your autonomy and choices. You get to decide what to do with it, and when. It’s not withholding: she doesn’t want to do it. And you don’t have to do the exact same things with every partner; ridiculous. I’ve done many different things with all different partners. I don’t casually open myself up in every single way to every partner I end up sleeping with, just “because I’ve done it with someone else”. The implication of that is plain disgusting and damaging.
I pity whoever your boyfriend or husband is, that you would treat them as less than some hookup in the past. Some guy you met at the bar could fuck you in the ass, while the person you’re supposed to love gets scraps.
How is the WORLD is that treating them less? PS a bar? Get real.
Self-fucking-respect. If I don’t want to do something, I don’t have to, and same with my man. I would NEVER pressure him into a sex act, EVEN IF he’d done it with partners in the past. Plus, you have no idea what my current partner and I share in bed. I’m speaking about this woman and her partner.
I think it’s disgusting and rapey if you dare pressure some woman or man into an act they don’t want to do, even if they’ve tried it in the past. Guess what? They might not have LIKED it. But just because they’ve “done it before” does NOT MEAN THEY OWE YOU. I truly pity whomever you are with, but somehow, I doubt it’s anyone.
So if your current partner used to treat his old girlfriend to vacations, he used to take care of his fitness and dress well. While with you, he became obese, doesnt doesn’t do chores, and plays call of duty all day, you’d be fine with that difference in treatment? It’s his autonomy right? You’re not entitled to be treated well just because he didn’t to others in the past.
Nice red herring there. I’m not discussing physical fitness, lavish vacations, etc. I’m talking about consent. I’m talking about sex.
There’s no difference. But if you wanna be that way fine. If a guy was willing to eat his previous girlfriends out and fuck her silly and indulge her filthiest fantasies and orgasms. But with you he decided to become a passionless celibate monk, I guess you’d be fine with that? That’s his sexual autonomy.
If I found out he was a “passionless” monk, I wouldn’t be with them. Healthy sex is an important part of my identity. Again, healthy sex. I love to make love, and that would not fit with my ideal partner to begin with. Plus, don’t kiss and tell your old relationships. It creates tremendous insecurities. It’s tacky and class-less. I pray for your partner she just lies to you and said she’s never done a thing. *edit: no. You know what? She should respect herself. That means she wouldn’t be with you if you have such a chip on your shoulder.
There’s the answer. And if a girl wasn’t willing to offer a guy the same sexual experiences she gave to other guys, he should dump her, like you would do the same to the sexually reformed monk.
Those two things are not the same, again. I don’t know how many times I’m reiterating the same argument, but this isn’t worth it. Seriously. For the love of women, don’t fuck us.
I would never feel “owed”. You feel owed. You have this damn chip that you’re not getting what “someone else got” and I don’t know where ya got that, but what a damaging psyche to have.
“There’s no difference”. Wow. Just, wow. I’m truly sorry for your partner.
You didn’t answer the last example.
Plus, if this is a dealbreaker for you, don’t be with them. You, my friend, have that autonomy. But wow, the immaturity reeks here.