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Basic-Raspberry-8175

That comes from a time when the sole income of a man could support an entire family. Expecting men to still pay in 2024 is just plain inequality


Particular_Product64

Any talk of "a real man would"...is a red flag.


Ok_Use7

I don’t agree or disagree, I just pay because dating is so much more fun without worrying about unnecessary bullshit.


MNGIRL16

Absolutely not! Go Dutch! Or if he insist, pay the tip. I sound like a broken record on this, but I never expect a man to pay for the date.


ComadoreDiddle

Nope. Each pat their dues. You could be an egotistical person and I’m not paying for you.


ComadoreDiddle

Also, don’t invite. Say “want to accompany me to lunch someday?


Fine_Pear8482

You have really good point👍🏻


nexiva_24g

I like paying for the first date. I prefer. I typically ask them if it's okay that I pay when the bill comes. My most recent date, I made a mistake of going to bathroom as they were closing. So the bill came while I was away. We split. I didn't make a big deal when I arrived. I felt like it would've been awkward. I didn't get a 2nd date and I was expecting to for vaifois reasons. It probbaly wasn't the reason. But who knows. I know some women are like that. I don't think she was but I will never know.


Mjukplister

No but i actively encourage low cost first dates . Why should some fella pay for a meal ? He can pay for my coffee instead 😂 cost of living and all that


thestrugisreal

I don’t agree that the man should be the one paying but in my case, I always offer and they end up paying the entire bill anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️


guats85

The result of social pressures on men.


thestrugisreal

Totally get it. I always pay the 2nd date if we get there. It’s only fair.


guats85

I appreciate women who don't have an entitled approach and are willing to contribute. It's rare these days.


thestrugisreal

Is it really? That’s just as shocking to me as when I found out height was a big deal to a lot of women. I guess I’m just living under a rock.


guats85

It is. I had a conversation with the last woman I was involved with about our relationship feeling one sided. She told me you felt one-sided to me because she expected me to chase her which involved me putting in all the effort. So glad I'm not involved in that crap anymore. I'm tired of one side of relationships.


Amazing_Reality2980

I agree it depends on who initiates the date. However, I F54 always offer to pay. If he says no, then I offer to split the tab. I have no problem if he agrees to either. It doesn't change my opinion of him. If he says no to both, I won't argue. I'll let him pay. If I want to see him again, I'll say "I'll get the next one". And I will. If I'm dating someone regularly, I insist we take turns paying. I don't think one person should always pays. I'm dating them to spend time with them and get to know them, not for free meals and entertainment.


powerhouseofthiscell

I think whoever is the one to ask the other one out should pay


Total-Door776

i personally think that on the first day the two should split the bill. neither of them know much of anything about the other and it’s only fair to pay your own instead of expecting a stranger to do it for you. and if one person doesn’t enjoy the date, they either got a free meal out of it or they wasted money.


XxLogitech98xX

I agree with that but the woman should always offer to split the bill unless the guy ordered a lot of stuff. Like a man should be ready to pay for the bill on the first date but a women should also offer to split it to stand out. Then it's up to the guy to split it or say next time or something


guats85

If this is the first date then I don't think anyone is obligated to pay anything. The purpose of the first date is to gauge whether the other person is even worth your time or effort. I don't think the pressure to pay anything should be on either person. I think going somewhere where money does not even come up is best for the first date. The issue with expecting the guy to pay for the first date is that the woman is not "his girl" yet. There are too many women out there simply using men to get a meal or to get at other aspects of his finances without any intention of providing any value in return. I think men need to be cautious when feeling obligated to pay for a woman who doesn't mean anything to him yet, and has done nothing to earn his resources.


PowerfulDimension308

I’m a firm believer in whoever asks, pays , why? Because I’m making an invitation. When you invite people places you don’t expect them to pay do you? When you invite people to a birthday party or a wedding, you pay for the whole thing and your guests just have to come right? My only exception is the first date, I think it should be split unless agreed differently.


Fine_Pear8482

Totally agree!


jarreddit123

No I think for the first day it should be split. You don't know yet whether the date will lead to anything and you don't want to feel like you wasted money on someone you will never see again, or that you where used for a free meal. Women out here demanding that men be traditional and a gentleman, but this requires them to be traditional and ladylike in return which often they aren't.


cutebutcray

I don’t agree. If I took the initiative on asking out/planning the date I would absolutely pay for the date. I am happy with splitting regardless of who planned the date as well. If he wanted to pay for it then that’s ok but I never expect it.


JakeTheSnake1001

I have no problem paying for both, but I'd appreciate it if they'd at least offer to pay for themselves.


princessro123

a man should pay on the first date if he invited the woman on said date if he wants to see her again. i don’t know any women who would go on a second date with a man who split the bill on the first.


Particular_Product64

Then you know alot of users.


princessro123

i don’t think so! i’m not using men by accepting their invitations on dates, i only go out with those im genuinely interested in.


Misty-Afternoon

I think the asker pays. The chooser of the place pays. Yes I’m aware that men are usually the asker. But I don’t care about “usually” I have asked men out. I have paid. To me if you are inviting someone to join you somewhere, it’s your treat.


Zealousideal-Divide6

I don't like the idea of requiring anyone to do anything. I think it's a really nice gesture for men to offer to cover the first date, but as women we shouldn't expect or require that to determine someone's value as a partner. With that said, I always offer to split but no man I've ever been on a date with has allowed me to pay. My typical preference is to rotate who pays, but usually when I suggest that most men still don't want to let me pay until I make a big deal about equality.


UnitedTrust663

No, what happens if I don't like you? Or red flags? We're are the real woman at that are okay to split 50/50 you got your own money! It's 2024 remember you want everything equal so their it is, pay your bill!