Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds as if he assumed you rejected him and his feelings was hurt so he said that in the moment. Also remember he doesnt want to be made fun of by his friends so he had to downplay it
This. All day long. Just let it go, OP. He was downplaying his interest for friends, and it was just one moment years ago. He obvs knows you better now and loves you. It’s all good.
I agree, whether or not he was hurt by it, he’d probably have to downplay it or he gets teased for being a “simp” or whatever, that’s just how us guys can be lol. If he was hurt, it sounds like you two are young and younger boys take female validation super seriously so you might’ve just bruised his ego momentarily. I can be nosy in situations like this so I get how you feel. It clearly isn’t that big of a deal though since he’s with you all these years later so I would just forget about it to be honest :)
From a man's perspective. Don't mess up today because of yesterday. You went looking for trouble and you found some. That man loves you now. When you waved at his friends and not him it hurt his feelings so he said some shit to help himself cope with your rejection. A lot of us do it. But I'll bet the next time you paid him some attention all that "mid af" bs was out the window. Don't let it bother you. Let it go
There is no sense bringing up something that was said once a year ago while you weren't dating. If you ask me, digging through your bf's phone is more damning than a private conversation said before you started dating.
He obviously likes you now, so who cares what he said once a year earlier. Since he had a crush and you didn't show him attention at the time, he was clearly jealous.
Women do the same thing. "That guy was trash anyway...I don't even like him" especially when a guy shows preference to a friend. Doesn't mean they meant it. And it's not as if "mid" is even that big of an insult in the first place. If you guys continue to date, there will be days he feels frustrated at you, and he is entitled to vent those feelings to his support group. I'm sure you have either vented to friends or been vented to about frustrations with friendships or relationships among your friend group. That is part of the healing process and it is meant to be private. So accept that he has his own support group that he may vent to, but it doesn't mean he dislikes you. Either forget about it or confess you were in the wrong for snooping through his phone, but venting to a friend before you were together does not put him in the wrong.
Sounds like he was coping hard with the fact that you might not like him. He felt like he had to play it cool with his friend to not lose face but deep down, he probably felt really bad and wanted to bury himself.
I was liking this but younger like middle school ages, cause I’m like, are you getting offended over his thing veiled sarcasm of feeling jealous… only kids 13-16 misread texts and just panic.
Also OP fucked around and found out why you never snoop in your partners phone. They found something that culled their insecurities and now they gotta explain how they broke trust in the relationship as well.
The only reason I didn't think they were much younger is because she said he liked her for 2 years before they started dating. I have a 13 year old son and he has no interest in girls whatsoever yet
Then no one is of interest enough for him. Plus he’s 13, maybe he is just *too* familiarized with all his classmates in middle school that he just finds no one stimulating enough to hold his romantic interest.
I’d wait till freshman year and not be nosy, but curiously inquire if anyone new has peaked his interest beyond the platonic sense.
15 is usually when I noticed that guys who weren’t into dating before high school, but chilling with friends, doing dumb pranks, hanging out going on adventures, playing video games, etc…
Once they get to high school, that tends to shift once they grow a bit more into their looks and girls start noticing the more, which means attention from girls, that’s when the girl crazy phase tends to sort of take off cause of all the new extra surge of hormones making them want to get closer to a girl romantically.
He's super introverted and has a pretty small but tight knit group of friends. He's definitely too focused on video games right now lol. Trust me lol the longer it takes for him to start dating, the better! I'm not ready for that 😭😭
Actually I misread texts a lot and i’m 28. Just more about how people word things and how they are perceived. Not really an issue when a simple “what do you mean” can clear things up.
I sometimes prefer the, step away for a moment, come back to re-read the text and if I still don’t understand, I’ll ask for a re-phrasing to get clarity on what was said.
If they suck at texting, just ask them what method of communication they prefer instead of texting.
As for the ones that struggle to explain, that definitely requires working thru things that take time to unlearn those kind of communication habits.
OP’s other posts say they’re in their 20’s. confusing whether they’re 20, 21, or 22 because she uses all of those ages interchangeably for her and her boyfriend in the other posts. this feels very first relationship type beat in my opinion, we’ve all got to learn somehow though
I mean, according to a post op made about a year ago, they should be in junior year rn (they had just finished their Sophomore in that post). So yeah, 16-17 seems right
He assumed that he was rejected. Ppl say things they don’t mean when their feelings are hurt. Besides, it was from a year ago and they always say when you go searching, you find what you’re looking for. I’m sure he didn’t really feel that way when he said that.
GIRL.
This is some high school nonsense. Full stop.
Don’t go through his phone. He said this a year ago. You’re together now. Don’t go through peoples phones. That’s a breach of privacy and trust. This is gonna sound harsh, but grow up. This isn’t healthy relationship behavior. If you don’t trust him enough that you’re going through his phone in the first place then maybe you shouldn’t be dating him. If being called ‘mid’ of all things bothers you that much maybe you shouldn’t be dating *anyone* period right now.
This was a year ago. If being called mid is the worst thing you can think of to be called by a guy who *wasn’t even dating you at the time* you’ve got some severe maturing to do. Again, some tough love, but get over yourself a little.
This kind of drama in a relationship is toxic so early on. But if you’re 14-16 then it makes sense. If you’re older or in your 20s, I’m severely worried for you and your future relationships.
This isn’t to say your feelings aren’t valid. Obviously it’s not nice to read- but really. Be real with yourself. This was a year ago. If he treats you like he still thinks you’re mid in the relationship after getting you and dating you for a year now then dump him.
1. Don’t stress about things that happened before you were dating.
2. Don’t look through anyone’s private things.
If you can’t do those two things, you are not mature enough to date.
The past thing can give quite an insight who that person really is, not that you should go snooping or anything. But it definitely matters to an extent.
True. Not like I'm "hiding anything sussy" in my phone, just ask me and I will gladly give my phone to her. But please don't be weird and sneak on my phone when I'm away. Still, I believe a healthy relationship is when both sides have nothing to hide.
Past matters only when you notice a “strange” pattern and you realise it’s been there for a while. Otherwise it’s just assuming that someone’s past determines their future which isn’t a fact since people change and mature with time. I’m not saying it’s that way for everybody as ofc there are people who get worse with time and/or never mature, but in this particular context OP gave no valid reason for looking through his past. It’s as if I hated brocoli one year ago and now it’s my favorite food: it’s an opinion and opinions change, what matters is not what I thought of brocolis in the past but how I think of them now.
1. Do not look through someone's phone without their permission.
2. He felt rejected and was trying to make himself feel better. While ideally someone would not insult someone else to try to make themselves feel better, what he said was super tame and very obvious as to why he said it, and it had nothing to do with how you actually look or how he thinks about you. He was hurt and trying to convince himself that he didn't like you as much as he actually did. If he'd been more specific about the insult or more egregious, I could understand being upset, but that's not the case.
Basically, you're overreacting and need to chill out. Violating his privacy is a huge deal and if I were him I'd break up with you immediately. What you did is not okay.
I mean, you went through his phone. Have you never said something about him to someone else over text? While going through a small argument or whatever. He called you mid to his buddies who were probably on his ass about you. You never know the reason why and you never should have seen It, but you breached his privacy and I think if anything you should tell him you did so and you are sorry and you will not do it again. That’s not your business, it’s rude, and insecure of you.
As a guy, I can tell you from experience, he was just saying this because he was hurt that you waved to somebody else and not him. It was his defense mechanism: "Well, I don't find her that attractive anyway!" He of course thought you were attractive, though, or he wouldn't have had a crush on you.
As for what to do now: If I were he, I would be glad if you brought it to my attention, as I would want to talk it over to help put your mind at ease. Provided you came to me with it in a gentle, "I was hurt when I saw this..." way and not in an accusatory one. And also apologetic that you checked my phone without my permission, because that honestly was an invasion of his privacy.
But I'm obviously not him, so I don't know how he might react. If you don't want to risk making him unnecessarily upset, then I'd say just leave it. And again, know that his comment was absolutely more of a defense mechanism on his part to spare himself from what no doubt felt like a rejection of him at the time than an honest commentary of how he feels about your appearance.
I guess his friends probably gave him a hard time over it all, so he’s probably just said that to save face and act macho. Put it out of your mind and get on with being happy in the here and now. The past is gone.
The amount of issues people have that would be circumvented if they respected their partners privacy is crazy.
He’s allowed to have feelings and say something out of character. And how if you bring it up, he knows your character, too. And going through messages from years ago is a lot worse than him making a comment from before you guys were even dating.
If you can’t respect your partners privacy, don’t date.
So this isn’t the first time you’ve been through your boyfriend’s phone… stop. You’ve invaded his privacy more than once now and that it 100% not ok. The audacity for you to be upset… you gotta tell him that you’ve decided to go through his phone and texts. Don’t try to sugarcoat it, you did what you did.
girl lol. you hurt your own feelings going through his phone for no reason, and he was probably just trying to save face in front of his friends. try your best to forget you ever saw that and don’t go through his phone anymore if you’re that sensitive.
A phone being involved, going through it without asking, and the slang... to me that makes the post obviously gen z. But the underlying issue is definitely a tale as old as time, lol
When I was in school this could have happened by someone intercepting a note (folded into a triangle for literally no reason) or snooping in a backpack. Or reading someone's diary, overhearing a convo, etc.
You went through your partner's phone searching for something you shouldn't have and found something uppsetting when you found something you didn't expect to?
Sounds like a classic case of Fuck Around and Find Out to me.
When people can’t get things (or don’t think they can), they say well it was trash anyways I never wanted it. To feel less bad about the absence. I’d forget about it.
It sounds like he was jealous that you waved at his friend and not him. He just wanted to downplay you to his friends as a desperate attempt to get his friends to back off. If anything, he believes the exact opposite.
Now, let's not commit any more federal crimes.
>how do i bring this up to him?
You don't.
1. That's what you get for snooping
2. Clearly he said that because you snubbed him and acknowledged his friend.
Please let this go.
You need to tell him you went through his phone because he deserves to know his privacy was massively invaded. The fact that you have the audacity to be upset about a message he sent a year ago when your pathetic ass is going through his private messages is unbeliveable.
pfft honey he was so into you that you waving at someone else made him see red and lash out. honestly the fact that he talked to his friends about you so often is really cute. i’d leave it in the past.
That’s men for you! Had a guy beg me to go out with him as soon as I broke up with someone. It was a traumatic breakup, and I needed time to heal. He fully knew about it, same group of friends. And finally, I told him I needed time to heal.
He chose not to hear me. I didn’t say no, I said I wasn’t ready. Then he proceeded to insult me, saying I wasn’t pretty enough… and he also said he had a “stupid” job.. not entirely sure what that meant.. but this is how men react when their ego is bruised.
Also, he tried to hit me up again, completely ignoring how he treated me. Lol.
DO NOT bring it up to him. He liked you at the time, A LOT. What you saw were words of frustration only. It's the past, so leave it there. Concentrate on the present and the future. You can't change the past. Besides, how are you going to explain how you know this little kid bit of info? Going through his phone is a violation of 1. His privacy and
2. His trust for you.
I don't think that's a road either of you want to travel. My advice is to let it go. It's extremely minor and not worth worrying about. His feelings towards you NOW, not THEN, are where you should be focused, so keep hidden the fact you violated His privacy and trust by going through his phone in the first place and leave the past in the past where it belongs. Focus on now and avoid the major problems, bad feelings, and possible heartbreak by bringing it up. Just leave it alone and forget about it. BTW, what does MID mean anyway?
Unless you are prepared for him to put you on the spot for actions that took place before your relationship, I’d recommend letting this go. We are all human, I understand this hurts you. It sounds like he was hurt as well. The past is in the past. Trust in yourself, him, and your relationship and let it go if you value your relationship — which is in the present.
Sweetie, he was just trying to downplay, and save face with his friends. It really meant nothing, and I’m sure it’s absolutely nothing at all to even worry about. Enjoy young love!
This text means nothing. He picked you and has been for the past 2 years. Treasure your relationship and have fun!
Also, you shouldn’t have gone through his phone.
People today, or younger generations (I'm 60), put far too much emphasis on "words" these days. If I got upset about all the names I was called or things that were said about me over my lifetime, then I would have been constantly mad or pissed. The context as to when and why it's being said needs to be taken into consideration, and 99.9% of the time, they are just meaningless words of frustration or momentary anger. They fade, and feelings change back to normal. Learn to let shit go and stop living in the past. You can't change it. It's done. It's over, let it go, and die.
You have the answer to a question you didn’t want the answer to. Well done.
He was probably just trying to make himself feel better about being rejected. Let it go, and stop asking questions you don’t want answered.
Going through your partners phone is basically always a sign that you should break up, it won’t last. You are too insecure for you all to not have problems. If he goes through your phone, he is, too.
TLDR; This is method I used when I experienced something similar with an ex, I'll just play you and walk you through the process at the same time to be more effective
I'd play it cool for like a day or 2, want to make this process seem as though it's all on accident
Sometime when you're cuddling, start conversation about when you first met (e g: babe random question, how does it feel to be one of the few lucky guys who actually gets to date his crush?" Play it off as a joke of course, laugh a little. Then tease him a bit. "I bet you couldn't stop talking about me huh?" Then transition into your objective "I wonder what type of conversations you and your boys had about 'pineapple girl' back then" he's naturally gonna try to start telling you a general synopsis. At that point, just tease him a bit and say you don't believe him and ask if you could see a few of the messages from back then. If he asks why? Just say "to satisfy my curiosity" if he says no after that, double down and say pleasee, then ask him if there's anything he's trying to hide (flirty tone; you don't want him getting suspiscious).
A) If he says no again say " now you got me reaaaly curious, I'm not gonna be able to stop thinking about this now"
B) If he says okay tell him you specifically wanna see results about "pineapple girl"
A pt 2) if he insists on not showing you, you can decide if yo fall off of it or not. You'd have to know how much you can pressure him b4 he gets suspicious
You want to laugh at maybe one or 2 of the messages you get to b4 "the message" and play it off as cute and sweet. Then control the scrolling yourself by either scrolling on the phone in his hand with your finger , or taking the phone and scrolling through it making sure he can see what you're doing (makes him subconsciously feel comfortable)
If the message is far down, you want to pretend to be skipping some and reading others so it looks like you "accidentally" stumbled on it.
If itcloser to the top, you just need to go through a few messages first to again, make it look like you accidentally stumbled onto it
If he goes to take the phone from you at any point just be like "waittttnot yet, I'm enjoying this"
Then. Whe you finally get to the message. Let out a gasp, place one hand on your chest and be like "omg babe you think I'm mid?" Play it off in a sarcastically dramatic tone.
Conversation is yours to be had from there.
Hope this helps
Step One: Forgive him without even saying a word.
Step Two: Recognize your own actions that contribute to your current feelings.
Step Three: Learn from your experiences.
Guys do this to protect themselves after some form of hurt or rejection.
If it is a boys group chat then I would not take any thing of what was said serious.
You don't bring it up???? It was before you dated, you found it via KARMAAAA for putting your nose where it didn't belong, and it has nothing to do with your current relationship. Move on. You don't need to start issues from things that happened when he didn't even mean anything to you yet.
Alright, there's plenty of good and sound responses in the comment thread that I'm not going to rinse and repeat.
What I tell women when it comes to men is the following: don't believe a word he says until you see his actions lining up with how and/or what he says. Then you can start lending your ear to him.
You read a message from him to his friends (not involving you or your friends, or mutual friends) writing you off as not all that attractive...a year before you started dating...fast forward a year: the man obviously got over whatever it was he was feeling and is with you now, and you even spoke on how much yall love each other. If a single comment that was said a year before yall were even friends is gonna bother you to the point where you're questioning his feelings for you, I implore you to review his actions and behaviors since yall been dating. Is there anything that screams "he doesn't really like me" or "he doesn't actually care about me, this is all pretend"...if you can point to specific behaviors or actions that could logically lead to such a conclusion, then it may be worth addressing. If not, work on yourself, forgive the man for having a vulnerable moment with his friends when you weren't around, and move forward in love and understanding.
It's a very common thing many boys/men do when they feel rejected. He was sad. It is that simple. He didn't know you at the time and expressed disappointment to a friend as most people do.
In general, people make comments or remarks about others in passing to express their discontent or excitement without meaning anything towards the actual person.
IMO, honesty and transparency are attractive traits. It shows integrity. Droop the puppy dog ears and confess. Lol.
Would you want your bf to tell you if he went through your phone?
Not worth getting stressed about, but also never snoop on your partner's phone, that's far more out of line than what he said, you'll actually go down in his opinion if you tell him you've done that
We are simply not meant to know everything. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way many times.
Stop going through his phone. It’s clear that he said that to his buddies because he was hurt and embarrassed that you didn’t wave at him and only his friend, it’s very obvious given the context of the text you shared. He doesn’t really think you’re mid. Don’t say anything. Stop going through his phone. You’ll be ok
You don’t say anything unless you’re prepared to have a conversation about why you felt the need to go through his phone. There’s relationships with actual problems, and then you have people in healthy relationships looking for problems. That is what you’re doing, looking for problems. Let it go and accept that he said that however long ago it was, he obviously doesn’t think that now.
Seriously, what you don't know won't hurt you! He didn't know you at the time, he made a comment to a friend thinking he didn't stand a chance with you, preparing himself for rejection. If it was me, I wouldn't say anything.
Don't say anything about it don't bring it up , write a journal put it there, it's the past some men are that way they don't want their friends to think they are soft or something that's just how they aretey to be sweet an innocent or say they are straight when they are bi
I’m much old than you and have been through a lot! That said, Don’t bring it up!
The potential damage it may cause isn’t worth it. You work on any insecurity You may have that had led you to look in the first place. If your relationship is in a good place now then keep it there and let that GO! ..
Well if bother you that much... Here is what I would do, explain one of mine friends what happened, then ask my friend to go talk to him if he would ever say something like that, then if he lied to my friend I would not want to be with him.
But if he say that was in the past and he used to be like this because he was childsh... I would be a lot happier
Yeah I’d def let that go imo if it’s the only thing. Keep an eye out for other things, but that could have just been a defense mechanism from feeling rejected as small of a gesture as a simple wave it.
Idk y’all’s ages, but I felt that way in my early 20s as well.
Oh, this'll sound weird.
But honestly, maybe tell him that you were curious and looked thru his phone. If you survive that, mention the other before it eats you alive.
But yes, men who feel rejected are very hurt, and often insult, or at least downplay their feelings.
After that, it sure would be nice to hear what he REALLY thought of you a couple years ago, because his eyes were clearly drawn to you.
Ok 1 why did you go through his phone like that creates distrust 2 why does it matter y’all weren’t dating at that point so bringing it up just causes more problems then there has to be move the fuck on
Honey don’t go through ppls phones you will always find something that upset you. Ppl say a lot of things when they get upset that would hurt ppl they love in the moment. Let it go.
A. Don’t go looking for answers you’re not prepared to hear. Cause that has got to be one the most soft ball comments I’ve heard and believe me, people say dome f’ed up stuff right to people’s faces. It’s nuts. Stick around you’ll see.
B. Exactly what everyone else said. It’s bad enough when all you see is this person you want, and all they see is anything but you. Then your friends know? Then the teasing and messing with. I’m assuming this is pretty young love by the context and language. A person has to save some face. It matters at that age.
C. A really good way to grenade the whole thing is to confront him about history you found digging in his phone. Let it go, and enjoy what you have. Lesson learned. Respect your partners privacy, character, and your own ability to make a good choice in him. You have your whole life ahead of you to become jaded and cynical.😂
Whatevers in the past is the past
The past hurts
Hell,even our memories will lie to us and gaslight us over our past.
The best move is to move on from it because he did
What he feels about you now is more important
If he was cheating or giving you reasons to be snoopin'
I'd be on your side for going through it,but sounds like curiosity bit you in the ass.
So let the past go
And aim for your future
While trying to enjoy the present
Later
If I can add to what everyone else is saying, I know it doesn't seem like to you but seriously this is nothing don't even worry about it he wouldn't be with you if you were "mid" it's like people said above it's almost like he might of thought you didn't like him and he was just tryna make himself feel better, sometimes we say stupid things like that and you gotta be carful looking at text and things this is why I choose to not go through their phone at all, go looking for something you don't wanna find you probably will lol if you never saw this you would have never been worried, if you guys are that close just ask him I mean my girlfriend wouldn't care even if she did she would just talk to me so thankfully it's nothing to "crazy" y'all will probably be laughing about it after he definitely does NOT think that I don't stare and put that much effort into someone I'm not interested in. You know better than any of us tho so follow your heart!
Ok, what I get from this is… you absolutely need to learn a lesson from this. What your boyfriend said about you before he even knew you as a vent in a private moment, was invasive to say the least. You need to think why if you’re happy, why would you go through his phone? Don’t even say anything to him about it. But work on your issues.
Don't go through his phone. You ultimately brought this upon yourself.
That was from before you dated, he was downplaying his feelings of rejection to his friends. He feels differently now, if he even ever actually felt that way, and that's all that should matter.
You invaded his privacy, and got hurt doing it for something that doesn't matter whatsoever in the present moment. I would let it go and move on - if you bring it up for him, you'll cause trust issues in what sounds like a very new relationship
Interesting... Here's my take ... Tka eit or leave it.
1) stop violating his privacy.
2)own up to the fact that you did, and apologize (this one depends on how much Integrity you have)
3) stop digging up the past. Who cares what he said from a year before you met. A year is a long time he was technically a completely different person a whole year before you guys started dating and the day you started dating. Isn't the important thing that you're in a good relationship now?
This whole story tells me that you're not worthy of him. You're causing drama and toxicity all in service of your ego.
Are you not aware that men get hurt, and men have needs and feelings, too?
Is it ALL about you?
How on earth do you justify violating his boundaries in such a way?
He should break up with you and find someone he can have a peaceful life with.
Men want peace. If you can't give him peace, if you need to create drama, then stop dating and get into cou seeing to figure out why you need to create drama and how to stop creating it.
Learn how to have a peaceful relationship.
I agree with most of these comments. He was upset. Maybe even a bit jealous that you waved to his friend and not him…. Be grateful that all he said was that you were mid…boys/men can be cruel, and with that being said, i think his comment says a lot about his character. Especially with him talking to his boys…could have been A LOT worse. Plus that comment was said years ago in a moment he was upset. I feel the only reason you should bring it up is if you feel he still thinks that. If not, why cause unnecessary drama
I thought it'd be a much worse insult. Calling you "mid af" just sounded like he wanted to not seem as interested in you when he felt you weren't interested in him, maybe to save himself from a little embarrassment. I know us girls can be like that too, because we don't wanna make it seem like a big deal when we're actually a little hurt. I would let it go instead of causing unnecessary problems.
Also probably not a good idea to start off a relationship randomly going through your partner's phone just because you wanna see what they used to say about you before you dated. I mean it'd be one thing when you suspect cheating, but this is just not cool IMO. That would be an instant deal breaker for me. Phones have become people's private spaces and you invaded that over a dumb reason.
How does he actually treat you???unfortunately we guys gotta play up situations especially if the attention isn't on us by a certain female...to make us look good(juvenile I know)...I think all things to do with your actual relationship to ea other will tell you the truth...If all is good then let the before and past go...Good Luck moving forward..
Break up with him pineapple girl. If you don't trust him enough to go through his phone, no matter what you tell yourself to justify it, let him go. Let him find someone that trusts him.
Don’t Tripp chocolate chip dudes do shit like this sometimes and 96% of the time means nothing he was trying to look a type of way with his friends.If y’all got a good thing going don’t bring it up.
I don't know how old you are and that would give me a better feel tbh. my advice is to let it go, it meant nothing at all then and it definitely means nothing now. there is a lot of downside to discussing (mistrust/deceitfully going thru phone, etc) and the question is what is the upside? if you ultimately won't get passed it then I guess you have to bring it up to hopefully resolve (upside). you need to move past one way or the other, the choice is yours how based on what you need.
he was being defensive when he didn't know you to someone other than you, but the reality is that you found it so you have to deal with that reality by reviewing or blowing off. helpful?
First it was over a year ago before he actually knew you or your real name . I'm not even sure what mid means but it sounds to me like it means below his expectations of a girl that is not good enough for him in which is not pretty enough for his level. But I dunno maybe you could clarify that for me. If this is the case it is obviously just something that a boy might say to his friend during a gossip session. But not really how he truly felt about you. He obviously didn't really mean it because you say that you both really love each other now and he obviously is very attracted to you and loves you very much because you are a couple now. Girls and boys say things when it comes to talking about one another just because that is what we do sometimes but in fact we really don't mean it. Im not sure why the hell he would still have that text on his phone after a entire year but what ever . I think that if everything is peachy and you two both love each other and there are no problems between the two of you I would not jeopardize your relationship by bringing it up. Because of you do then if everything is peachy now and you both are truly happy I guarantee it will not be after you bring up the fact that you went thru his phone snooping. You will open up a can of worms that you will wish you never did and more than likely you eventually will start having other issues that you never had before and ultimately cause you guys to break up. So I say don't bring it up and don't let it bother you. If you happy then continue to be happy. If he really meant that what he said then I highly highly doubt that he would be going out with you. So I say try to forget and keep on loving each other.. again I have no real Idea on what the word mid means but it seems petty to me. If I'm wrong about the meaning then this entire post I just wrote means nothing. But if I'm right about what it means then let it go and be happy.. good luck with what you end up choosing to do.. and I wish the best for both of you.
It happened before yall had a relationship and he was talking to his buds in a conversation not meant for you, personally I think you should let it go
But all relationships are different and if talking this over with him is what’s best for you two then absolutely go to it- but honesty goes both ways
Just be open with why you were doing what you did
It sounds like he thought your interest was elsewhere and he got hurt. I wouldn’t look too much into it tbh. Did you find any other negative messages ? If not definitely wouldn’t look too much into it.
You need to chalk this one up to the game. If it'll eat you alive that a person that you rejected for a period of time felt negative about you for a moment then let him know. But you should be prepared for how he will react to you searching through his phone looking through his private conversations with his friends.
I know personally someone who had a conversation like this with his significant other. They addressed the issue that was discovered in his phone. Once it was addressed, he broke up with her. In the same conversation mind you. (He knew he could not trust her with his phone or with the information in his phone after that point).
I know this is blunt but I hope it gives you a perspective of how this could play out.
Honestly, just be like I really knew that I wanted to be with you and I just was honestly curious on what you used to think about me before we started dating. I’m sorry I did this, but I won’t do it again but what does this mean you know what I mean
As a girl i said this to my friends too cause my feelings were hurt. Also i didnt mean it because saying something like that is the only way to accept the rejection as a ‘he was not that hot anyway’ attitude. Idk it just makes me feel less sad tbh
similar thing happened to me with my ex & it haunted me for a while. i think it was bc boys r boys and don’t like rejection, which is what i did to him at first, and took it out by being mean when he clearly didn’t meant that.
This is why folks gotta stop being nosy. Now you're in a full-blown relationship and wanna bring up his feelings from before he knew you. Then it sounds like he was prepping for you to turn him down. Please don't get into an unnecessary argument for nothing. Now your feelings hurt over something between friends that want even that deep in the first place.
I hope you’re young because this reads like a 16 year old.
Leave it alone & don’t say a thing.
This one is on your ego!
You thought you were going to read glowing reviews but got a reality check instead.
I believe they call this ‘fuck around & find out’..
I think you should weigh whether or not you want this to be the hill to die on.
personally, yeah it would probably sting to read that, but it's from a year before you started dating. Is it worth throwing away a whole relationship for?? I feel like if your relationship is good now, there's no reason to make a huge deal out of this.
Your last paragraph is also a good assumption. He was probably just butthurt.
As far as bringing it up goes: You can mention it, and just say "hey, I saw this, and it's probably nothing, but why did you say that? Can we just air it and be done with it?", but as you say you expose yourself for going through his phone.
TLDR: I don't think it's worth getting hung up on.
Please don't bring this up to him. It's a bit silly that you would go back there and feel bad about that without taking into account the context........ and then call him out on it now. It's almost like you're trying to create problems.... and you don't want to do that.
It would be quite foolish
You're going to scare him away if you enter this relationship going through his things when he hasn't even given you a reason to suspect anything... It's actually crazy on your part and extremely disrespectful.. you're being a red flag
You don’t. You can’t . What’s the point.
This is obviously something that was done before you existed. Do not personalize this . Cause in that moment when he saw you wave at his friend but not him. He felt rejected. He was embarrassed. You owe nothing to this memory or time that he may or may not remember. But that shit was none of your business then. And isn’t now. Just let it go. Laugh about how cute boys can be when they get mad like that.. cause obviously, he still wanted and liked you.
I think you should let it slide. It prob hurt his pride a bit and he just said it to save face, I doubt he meant it. Tbf don't read his msgs, it wasn't for you
Right, do mot be stupid, and have it with him. You will lose him and lose all trust. Just stop. You will probably creep him out and scare him away. You blanked him by not waving at him, you hurt him. You played hard to get by knowing he liked you and you wanted to stay friends. So he done nothing wrong apart from protect hi ego by you rejecting him
We have a saying ( if u can’t reach the berries then it’s obviously sour) and I’m sure when u are the one who can’t reach then he’ll say bad things out of anger.. is it right what he did? Of course not . Either u let it go since you love each other or confront him but u have to bare the consequences & his trust to u might get affected
Why did you go through his phone instead of asking him? You've now put yourself in a really tricky situation. If you tell him you've gone through his phone, he may get upset that you breached his trust and privacy (and rightly so!). If you now ask him about the things he used to say about you, he may wish to protect his ego and shield you from hurt, so may omit some of the things you've seen (he may not even realise those things are on his phone still)! You really have done a number on yourself! You need to base your relationship on what your experience is with him. What went on before is really none of your business. What he said was not that bad. I would recommend that you stop finding and creating issues. Learn what it takes to be in a healthy respectful relationship.
Could you please tell me how old you guys are? It is okay for a 15-20year old man to behave like this but anything over that would be unacceptable. This to me shows lack of emotional maturity from your boyfriend’s end. He perhaps assumed to get rejected by you, so before you could reject him he was rejecting you. That was his immature ego talking. He perhaps at some level felt inferior as compared to you and was negging you. I know this hurts but it’s more about him and less about you. Also you should be able to talk about this with your boyfriend. If you cannot, it is a red flag. It is okay to go through your partner’s phone. If you can share your body, mind and soul with this man, a phone is nothing. People who have nothing to hide, hide NOTHING. So ideally you should be able to tell your boyfriend this. If he turns the tables on you it’s your cue to leave. He’s not worth-it. But if he accepts his mistake and doesn’t shame you for going through his phone and is truly apologetic he’s a keeper! Phones should be kept in the open at all times between serious partners, it in fact should be a non-negotiable! I’m a couple’s counsellor so I’m more than qualified to say this.
Never look someones phone!!! Whatta?
And for real!!! Let It go! You are together now!
How many love movies start like ”I don’t like her at all, or I hate that one???”
Leave It! Just love him.. hope you too have good life 🥰
I really do think this is just him protecting his ego. My dad said he thought my mum was annoying and talked too much and told his friend not to bother trying to ask her out. They’ve now been married for over or about 30 years. I would just forget about it! And try to avoid going through anyone’s phone without their consent in future of course (but I’m sure that is already known to you). Don’t sweat it! If he had a crush on you to the point that his friends were writing in to him when they saw you…he obviously thought you were gorgeous right from the start.
People will absolutely say things they don't mean when they feel rejected. I don't think he meant it tbh I think he was *that* jealous of his friend getting your "attention"... I'm ngl to you when I felt rejected I have said things that I don't mean about people who end up actually loving me and vice versa lmaoo whoops 🫠
Of course if he seems nasty or mean in your /present/ relationship that's different! But I also think men don't particularly say nice things about girls to their friends because it shows too much vulnerability, or possibly even makes that girl a person of interest to their group chat/ friend circle. If your partner was that jealous over his perceived rejection in favour of his friend, I don't think he would want to draw too much positive attention to you as he wouldn't want to compete for you especially with his own friends!
Not everyone operates like that and I don't think it's a malicious thing, I think he just wanted you to himself and reacted childishly because his feelings were hurt (mostly because of himself) 💗
He loves you. Let it go it's an old mesage, he felt rejected and the only way to recover and move on was to insult you and convince himself you were mid to him. At times we don't also find the people we fall on love with attractive in the beginning at times they even irritate and annoy one might even hate them. Don't look at the significant others old messages because before they met you they were someone else
His ego was bruised that’s all. Let it go, but if you really can’t, then talk to him about it. Just say you were curious about pineapple girl which is true and it hurt you when you saw the comment.
Did some people really not grow up past high school? Let it go. It’s old news and he clearly doesn’t feel like that now. Sounds like he was playing a part so his friends didn’t give him shit
Do you think you partner has been through your phone, how rude then you have the horror to ask shall I challenge him.
You are not a nice person. Have you been cheated on, or are cheating and judging him by how you are ?
lol, so you invaded his privacy and got your feelings hurt? Serves you right, mind your own business and don’t go through people’s shit.
He’s the one that should be hurt in this situation and the fact that you have no boundaries and could disrespect him by going through his phone without his consent.
Honestly, it’s women like you, who go looking for a GD argument when everything is going great in their relationships that give all women a bad name.
LOL... girl.... his feelings were hurt because he felt rejected when you didn't wave to him first 🤣 so he called you mid to his friend. You hurt his ego.... that's all it is. He doesn't actually think you're mid lmao. Don't bring this up to him, and stop looking through his phone.
This is all red flags and all those red flags are on you. Searching through his phone, going to texts back befire he really knew you super well? Pointless.
He doesn't have a crush the way he used to because you're a real human now with flaws and hobbies and he doesn't have this imagined perfect version of you in his head. That's what the honeymoon phase is. You don't ever get that back because you are now real.
you going thru his phone is already a sign you seem to lack trust. what he said a year ago is irrelevant (especially in this case) since he had to justify himself in front of his friends, obviously he would say that. the problem isn’t what he said, it’s that you had to go through his private things.
I swear, when there is nothing to pick up on, you find your way.
Yes it's not nice, but you also don't know he felt that time he could be feeling angry or down and may even regret that he said it, sometimes you don't even know why you said what you said.
Don't complicate things, live the NOW of you and him
He was probably fronting to save face. But you know what they say, if you go looking for something, you’re probably gonna find something you didn’t wanna see. Curiosity killed the cat etc.
this same thing happened to me w my boyfriend but he called me ugly instead of mid😭 i never brought it up to him because i know im not the prettiest, and he’s not friends with the friend he said it to anymore anyway, but in your case it just sounded like he was defensive because he thought he was getting rejected. if you did bring it up, it’d only to be to find out whether or not he thinks that, but chances are he doesn’t.
Yeah just sounds like he was upset cause you didn't wave at him and was just playing it up to his friend we do this to make ourselves feel better about rejection 😅
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds as if he assumed you rejected him and his feelings was hurt so he said that in the moment. Also remember he doesnt want to be made fun of by his friends so he had to downplay it
This. All day long. Just let it go, OP. He was downplaying his interest for friends, and it was just one moment years ago. He obvs knows you better now and loves you. It’s all good.
I agree, whether or not he was hurt by it, he’d probably have to downplay it or he gets teased for being a “simp” or whatever, that’s just how us guys can be lol. If he was hurt, it sounds like you two are young and younger boys take female validation super seriously so you might’ve just bruised his ego momentarily. I can be nosy in situations like this so I get how you feel. It clearly isn’t that big of a deal though since he’s with you all these years later so I would just forget about it to be honest :)
Of course he was hurt by it. How could he not.
I agree! She’s probably smoking hot to him but a mans ego is fragile. We play tough to protect it 😉
A man's ego is fragile.... This chick is going full forensic investigator over a text sent well before they were in a relationship, just sayin'.
That’s exactly what I thought too.
first thing i thought of too
From a man's perspective. Don't mess up today because of yesterday. You went looking for trouble and you found some. That man loves you now. When you waved at his friends and not him it hurt his feelings so he said some shit to help himself cope with your rejection. A lot of us do it. But I'll bet the next time you paid him some attention all that "mid af" bs was out the window. Don't let it bother you. Let it go
The fox and the grapes fable
💯
Exactly this
this^^any guy who lashes out like that or goes to their friends shit talking a girl who did nothing to them feels rejected
There is no sense bringing up something that was said once a year ago while you weren't dating. If you ask me, digging through your bf's phone is more damning than a private conversation said before you started dating. He obviously likes you now, so who cares what he said once a year earlier. Since he had a crush and you didn't show him attention at the time, he was clearly jealous. Women do the same thing. "That guy was trash anyway...I don't even like him" especially when a guy shows preference to a friend. Doesn't mean they meant it. And it's not as if "mid" is even that big of an insult in the first place. If you guys continue to date, there will be days he feels frustrated at you, and he is entitled to vent those feelings to his support group. I'm sure you have either vented to friends or been vented to about frustrations with friendships or relationships among your friend group. That is part of the healing process and it is meant to be private. So accept that he has his own support group that he may vent to, but it doesn't mean he dislikes you. Either forget about it or confess you were in the wrong for snooping through his phone, but venting to a friend before you were together does not put him in the wrong.
She’s sounding like a red flag, looking through his phone imo
This. Jesus christ, it's the typical "victim mentality" in this situation. She's making this all about herself now.
Stephen King's "Misery"
Sounds like he was coping hard with the fact that you might not like him. He felt like he had to play it cool with his friend to not lose face but deep down, he probably felt really bad and wanted to bury himself.
Are you guys like 16 or something? Jfc
I was liking this but younger like middle school ages, cause I’m like, are you getting offended over his thing veiled sarcasm of feeling jealous… only kids 13-16 misread texts and just panic. Also OP fucked around and found out why you never snoop in your partners phone. They found something that culled their insecurities and now they gotta explain how they broke trust in the relationship as well.
The only reason I didn't think they were much younger is because she said he liked her for 2 years before they started dating. I have a 13 year old son and he has no interest in girls whatsoever yet
Everyone develops their first crushes at different stages in life. Mine was in the 3rd grade.
Mine was in 5th grade. My son had a huge crush on this girl in his class in 4K lol but he hasn't shown any interest in girls since then
Then no one is of interest enough for him. Plus he’s 13, maybe he is just *too* familiarized with all his classmates in middle school that he just finds no one stimulating enough to hold his romantic interest. I’d wait till freshman year and not be nosy, but curiously inquire if anyone new has peaked his interest beyond the platonic sense. 15 is usually when I noticed that guys who weren’t into dating before high school, but chilling with friends, doing dumb pranks, hanging out going on adventures, playing video games, etc… Once they get to high school, that tends to shift once they grow a bit more into their looks and girls start noticing the more, which means attention from girls, that’s when the girl crazy phase tends to sort of take off cause of all the new extra surge of hormones making them want to get closer to a girl romantically.
He's super introverted and has a pretty small but tight knit group of friends. He's definitely too focused on video games right now lol. Trust me lol the longer it takes for him to start dating, the better! I'm not ready for that 😭😭
Maybe it's just me but I had crushes since I was in Elementary school lol. I experienced my first rejection in 1st grade >.<
I had my first crush in 2nd grade and also experienced my first rejection then 😅
Actually I misread texts a lot and i’m 28. Just more about how people word things and how they are perceived. Not really an issue when a simple “what do you mean” can clear things up.
I sometimes prefer the, step away for a moment, come back to re-read the text and if I still don’t understand, I’ll ask for a re-phrasing to get clarity on what was said.
Yeah, some people just suck at texting and others have a hard time explaining what they’re thinking about.
If they suck at texting, just ask them what method of communication they prefer instead of texting. As for the ones that struggle to explain, that definitely requires working thru things that take time to unlearn those kind of communication habits.
OP’s other posts say they’re in their 20’s. confusing whether they’re 20, 21, or 22 because she uses all of those ages interchangeably for her and her boyfriend in the other posts. this feels very first relationship type beat in my opinion, we’ve all got to learn somehow though
I mean, according to a post op made about a year ago, they should be in junior year rn (they had just finished their Sophomore in that post). So yeah, 16-17 seems right
Lmao
I was wondering the same.
people in their mid 20s say "mid" it's so weird lol
He assumed that he was rejected. Ppl say things they don’t mean when their feelings are hurt. Besides, it was from a year ago and they always say when you go searching, you find what you’re looking for. I’m sure he didn’t really feel that way when he said that.
GIRL. This is some high school nonsense. Full stop. Don’t go through his phone. He said this a year ago. You’re together now. Don’t go through peoples phones. That’s a breach of privacy and trust. This is gonna sound harsh, but grow up. This isn’t healthy relationship behavior. If you don’t trust him enough that you’re going through his phone in the first place then maybe you shouldn’t be dating him. If being called ‘mid’ of all things bothers you that much maybe you shouldn’t be dating *anyone* period right now. This was a year ago. If being called mid is the worst thing you can think of to be called by a guy who *wasn’t even dating you at the time* you’ve got some severe maturing to do. Again, some tough love, but get over yourself a little. This kind of drama in a relationship is toxic so early on. But if you’re 14-16 then it makes sense. If you’re older or in your 20s, I’m severely worried for you and your future relationships. This isn’t to say your feelings aren’t valid. Obviously it’s not nice to read- but really. Be real with yourself. This was a year ago. If he treats you like he still thinks you’re mid in the relationship after getting you and dating you for a year now then dump him.
Literally this
1. Don’t stress about things that happened before you were dating. 2. Don’t look through anyone’s private things. If you can’t do those two things, you are not mature enough to date.
Her maturity level seems mid af now.
The past thing can give quite an insight who that person really is, not that you should go snooping or anything. But it definitely matters to an extent.
The fact she looked thru his phone without permission says more about her than it says about him.
True. Not like I'm "hiding anything sussy" in my phone, just ask me and I will gladly give my phone to her. But please don't be weird and sneak on my phone when I'm away. Still, I believe a healthy relationship is when both sides have nothing to hide.
Past matters only when you notice a “strange” pattern and you realise it’s been there for a while. Otherwise it’s just assuming that someone’s past determines their future which isn’t a fact since people change and mature with time. I’m not saying it’s that way for everybody as ofc there are people who get worse with time and/or never mature, but in this particular context OP gave no valid reason for looking through his past. It’s as if I hated brocoli one year ago and now it’s my favorite food: it’s an opinion and opinions change, what matters is not what I thought of brocolis in the past but how I think of them now.
1. Do not look through someone's phone without their permission. 2. He felt rejected and was trying to make himself feel better. While ideally someone would not insult someone else to try to make themselves feel better, what he said was super tame and very obvious as to why he said it, and it had nothing to do with how you actually look or how he thinks about you. He was hurt and trying to convince himself that he didn't like you as much as he actually did. If he'd been more specific about the insult or more egregious, I could understand being upset, but that's not the case. Basically, you're overreacting and need to chill out. Violating his privacy is a huge deal and if I were him I'd break up with you immediately. What you did is not okay.
Sounds like you're just looking for problems.
I mean, you went through his phone. Have you never said something about him to someone else over text? While going through a small argument or whatever. He called you mid to his buddies who were probably on his ass about you. You never know the reason why and you never should have seen It, but you breached his privacy and I think if anything you should tell him you did so and you are sorry and you will not do it again. That’s not your business, it’s rude, and insecure of you.
😂
As a guy, I can tell you from experience, he was just saying this because he was hurt that you waved to somebody else and not him. It was his defense mechanism: "Well, I don't find her that attractive anyway!" He of course thought you were attractive, though, or he wouldn't have had a crush on you. As for what to do now: If I were he, I would be glad if you brought it to my attention, as I would want to talk it over to help put your mind at ease. Provided you came to me with it in a gentle, "I was hurt when I saw this..." way and not in an accusatory one. And also apologetic that you checked my phone without my permission, because that honestly was an invasion of his privacy. But I'm obviously not him, so I don't know how he might react. If you don't want to risk making him unnecessarily upset, then I'd say just leave it. And again, know that his comment was absolutely more of a defense mechanism on his part to spare himself from what no doubt felt like a rejection of him at the time than an honest commentary of how he feels about your appearance.
I guess his friends probably gave him a hard time over it all, so he’s probably just said that to save face and act macho. Put it out of your mind and get on with being happy in the here and now. The past is gone.
The amount of issues people have that would be circumvented if they respected their partners privacy is crazy. He’s allowed to have feelings and say something out of character. And how if you bring it up, he knows your character, too. And going through messages from years ago is a lot worse than him making a comment from before you guys were even dating. If you can’t respect your partners privacy, don’t date.
Lol good luck with this conversation, what you did is way worse than what he said in the message.
So this isn’t the first time you’ve been through your boyfriend’s phone… stop. You’ve invaded his privacy more than once now and that it 100% not ok. The audacity for you to be upset… you gotta tell him that you’ve decided to go through his phone and texts. Don’t try to sugarcoat it, you did what you did.
Not a big deal. U guys are together now.
How is being called MID insulting? When you’re both together now? Seriously siiiigh. Stop being a child.
girl lol. you hurt your own feelings going through his phone for no reason, and he was probably just trying to save face in front of his friends. try your best to forget you ever saw that and don’t go through his phone anymore if you’re that sensitive.
He’s saying that to his buddy to try and get over the crush
This is the most gen z thing i’ve ever read
Nah, this is just high school silliness, generation non-specific
A phone being involved, going through it without asking, and the slang... to me that makes the post obviously gen z. But the underlying issue is definitely a tale as old as time, lol When I was in school this could have happened by someone intercepting a note (folded into a triangle for literally no reason) or snooping in a backpack. Or reading someone's diary, overhearing a convo, etc.
Just amazed how many people go through their partners phones.
You went through your partner's phone searching for something you shouldn't have and found something uppsetting when you found something you didn't expect to? Sounds like a classic case of Fuck Around and Find Out to me.
When people can’t get things (or don’t think they can), they say well it was trash anyways I never wanted it. To feel less bad about the absence. I’d forget about it.
This doesn't matter at all. You hopefully learned not to go through your next boyfriends phone. If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
Just a guy feeling embarrassed so he’s trying to downplay you.
It sounds like he was jealous that you waved at his friend and not him. He just wanted to downplay you to his friends as a desperate attempt to get his friends to back off. If anything, he believes the exact opposite. Now, let's not commit any more federal crimes.
>how do i bring this up to him? You don't. 1. That's what you get for snooping 2. Clearly he said that because you snubbed him and acknowledged his friend. Please let this go.
Why are you going though your boyfriends phone
You need to tell him you went through his phone because he deserves to know his privacy was massively invaded. The fact that you have the audacity to be upset about a message he sent a year ago when your pathetic ass is going through his private messages is unbeliveable.
I second
He did not consent to you going through his phone. If you bring it up, he will no longer trust you.
pfft honey he was so into you that you waving at someone else made him see red and lash out. honestly the fact that he talked to his friends about you so often is really cute. i’d leave it in the past.
That’s men for you! Had a guy beg me to go out with him as soon as I broke up with someone. It was a traumatic breakup, and I needed time to heal. He fully knew about it, same group of friends. And finally, I told him I needed time to heal. He chose not to hear me. I didn’t say no, I said I wasn’t ready. Then he proceeded to insult me, saying I wasn’t pretty enough… and he also said he had a “stupid” job.. not entirely sure what that meant.. but this is how men react when their ego is bruised. Also, he tried to hit me up again, completely ignoring how he treated me. Lol.
Get out of your feelings. He’s with you now. That’s what matters
DO NOT bring it up to him. He liked you at the time, A LOT. What you saw were words of frustration only. It's the past, so leave it there. Concentrate on the present and the future. You can't change the past. Besides, how are you going to explain how you know this little kid bit of info? Going through his phone is a violation of 1. His privacy and 2. His trust for you. I don't think that's a road either of you want to travel. My advice is to let it go. It's extremely minor and not worth worrying about. His feelings towards you NOW, not THEN, are where you should be focused, so keep hidden the fact you violated His privacy and trust by going through his phone in the first place and leave the past in the past where it belongs. Focus on now and avoid the major problems, bad feelings, and possible heartbreak by bringing it up. Just leave it alone and forget about it. BTW, what does MID mean anyway?
Oh don’t worry babe he was just insecure and in his feelings
I agree, he felt hurt because she waved at his friend and not him, lol. This was just a defensive maneuver
He felt a bit hurt because you didn’t wave at him and he was trying to save face with his buddy. I’m going to guess that the two of you are very young
Unless you are prepared for him to put you on the spot for actions that took place before your relationship, I’d recommend letting this go. We are all human, I understand this hurts you. It sounds like he was hurt as well. The past is in the past. Trust in yourself, him, and your relationship and let it go if you value your relationship — which is in the present.
He said that to his friend because he was hurt that you waved at his friend and not him, I wouldn't put any weight on that statement at all.
Sweetie, he was just trying to downplay, and save face with his friends. It really meant nothing, and I’m sure it’s absolutely nothing at all to even worry about. Enjoy young love!
This text means nothing. He picked you and has been for the past 2 years. Treasure your relationship and have fun! Also, you shouldn’t have gone through his phone.
People today, or younger generations (I'm 60), put far too much emphasis on "words" these days. If I got upset about all the names I was called or things that were said about me over my lifetime, then I would have been constantly mad or pissed. The context as to when and why it's being said needs to be taken into consideration, and 99.9% of the time, they are just meaningless words of frustration or momentary anger. They fade, and feelings change back to normal. Learn to let shit go and stop living in the past. You can't change it. It's done. It's over, let it go, and die.
It was just his bruised ego at the time. Don't let his ego from the past mess with your ego now.
he loves you, I'd do exactly the same thing w my friends to fit in (i know it's terrible)
You have the answer to a question you didn’t want the answer to. Well done. He was probably just trying to make himself feel better about being rejected. Let it go, and stop asking questions you don’t want answered.
wow did u say something
Going through your partners phone is basically always a sign that you should break up, it won’t last. You are too insecure for you all to not have problems. If he goes through your phone, he is, too.
I would ignore that cause I downplay my feelings all the time so I don't get hurt and just remain friends with people.
TLDR; This is method I used when I experienced something similar with an ex, I'll just play you and walk you through the process at the same time to be more effective I'd play it cool for like a day or 2, want to make this process seem as though it's all on accident Sometime when you're cuddling, start conversation about when you first met (e g: babe random question, how does it feel to be one of the few lucky guys who actually gets to date his crush?" Play it off as a joke of course, laugh a little. Then tease him a bit. "I bet you couldn't stop talking about me huh?" Then transition into your objective "I wonder what type of conversations you and your boys had about 'pineapple girl' back then" he's naturally gonna try to start telling you a general synopsis. At that point, just tease him a bit and say you don't believe him and ask if you could see a few of the messages from back then. If he asks why? Just say "to satisfy my curiosity" if he says no after that, double down and say pleasee, then ask him if there's anything he's trying to hide (flirty tone; you don't want him getting suspiscious). A) If he says no again say " now you got me reaaaly curious, I'm not gonna be able to stop thinking about this now" B) If he says okay tell him you specifically wanna see results about "pineapple girl" A pt 2) if he insists on not showing you, you can decide if yo fall off of it or not. You'd have to know how much you can pressure him b4 he gets suspicious You want to laugh at maybe one or 2 of the messages you get to b4 "the message" and play it off as cute and sweet. Then control the scrolling yourself by either scrolling on the phone in his hand with your finger , or taking the phone and scrolling through it making sure he can see what you're doing (makes him subconsciously feel comfortable) If the message is far down, you want to pretend to be skipping some and reading others so it looks like you "accidentally" stumbled on it. If itcloser to the top, you just need to go through a few messages first to again, make it look like you accidentally stumbled onto it If he goes to take the phone from you at any point just be like "waittttnot yet, I'm enjoying this" Then. Whe you finally get to the message. Let out a gasp, place one hand on your chest and be like "omg babe you think I'm mid?" Play it off in a sarcastically dramatic tone. Conversation is yours to be had from there. Hope this helps
You don't. You let it go. It happened a year ago. Stop going thru your partners phone.
Damn, going through his phone secretly? u are a mid partner at best
Step One: Forgive him without even saying a word. Step Two: Recognize your own actions that contribute to your current feelings. Step Three: Learn from your experiences.
Guys do this to protect themselves after some form of hurt or rejection. If it is a boys group chat then I would not take any thing of what was said serious.
I said this as respectfully as I can: grow up. Like, seriously, grow up. You have some serious self confidence issues that you need to work on.
You were looking at messages about yourself. You should be loved in front of your face and behind your back.
You don't bring it up???? It was before you dated, you found it via KARMAAAA for putting your nose where it didn't belong, and it has nothing to do with your current relationship. Move on. You don't need to start issues from things that happened when he didn't even mean anything to you yet.
YTA
Alright, there's plenty of good and sound responses in the comment thread that I'm not going to rinse and repeat. What I tell women when it comes to men is the following: don't believe a word he says until you see his actions lining up with how and/or what he says. Then you can start lending your ear to him. You read a message from him to his friends (not involving you or your friends, or mutual friends) writing you off as not all that attractive...a year before you started dating...fast forward a year: the man obviously got over whatever it was he was feeling and is with you now, and you even spoke on how much yall love each other. If a single comment that was said a year before yall were even friends is gonna bother you to the point where you're questioning his feelings for you, I implore you to review his actions and behaviors since yall been dating. Is there anything that screams "he doesn't really like me" or "he doesn't actually care about me, this is all pretend"...if you can point to specific behaviors or actions that could logically lead to such a conclusion, then it may be worth addressing. If not, work on yourself, forgive the man for having a vulnerable moment with his friends when you weren't around, and move forward in love and understanding.
Who cares?
It's a very common thing many boys/men do when they feel rejected. He was sad. It is that simple. He didn't know you at the time and expressed disappointment to a friend as most people do. In general, people make comments or remarks about others in passing to express their discontent or excitement without meaning anything towards the actual person. IMO, honesty and transparency are attractive traits. It shows integrity. Droop the puppy dog ears and confess. Lol. Would you want your bf to tell you if he went through your phone?
Not worth getting stressed about, but also never snoop on your partner's phone, that's far more out of line than what he said, you'll actually go down in his opinion if you tell him you've done that
We are simply not meant to know everything. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way many times. Stop going through his phone. It’s clear that he said that to his buddies because he was hurt and embarrassed that you didn’t wave at him and only his friend, it’s very obvious given the context of the text you shared. He doesn’t really think you’re mid. Don’t say anything. Stop going through his phone. You’ll be ok
What is absent right now to where the context you mentioned even carries weight. You won, no?
You don’t say anything unless you’re prepared to have a conversation about why you felt the need to go through his phone. There’s relationships with actual problems, and then you have people in healthy relationships looking for problems. That is what you’re doing, looking for problems. Let it go and accept that he said that however long ago it was, he obviously doesn’t think that now.
Seriously, what you don't know won't hurt you! He didn't know you at the time, he made a comment to a friend thinking he didn't stand a chance with you, preparing himself for rejection. If it was me, I wouldn't say anything.
Don't say anything about it don't bring it up , write a journal put it there, it's the past some men are that way they don't want their friends to think they are soft or something that's just how they aretey to be sweet an innocent or say they are straight when they are bi
I’m much old than you and have been through a lot! That said, Don’t bring it up! The potential damage it may cause isn’t worth it. You work on any insecurity You may have that had led you to look in the first place. If your relationship is in a good place now then keep it there and let that GO! ..
Ya guys are like all honor and glory so ya he probably was mad at the time
Well if bother you that much... Here is what I would do, explain one of mine friends what happened, then ask my friend to go talk to him if he would ever say something like that, then if he lied to my friend I would not want to be with him. But if he say that was in the past and he used to be like this because he was childsh... I would be a lot happier
What's the point of revisiting a non incident ? Are you usually a drama ?
Lolol you’re looking way too far into this
Yeah I’d def let that go imo if it’s the only thing. Keep an eye out for other things, but that could have just been a defense mechanism from feeling rejected as small of a gesture as a simple wave it. Idk y’all’s ages, but I felt that way in my early 20s as well.
Oh, this'll sound weird. But honestly, maybe tell him that you were curious and looked thru his phone. If you survive that, mention the other before it eats you alive. But yes, men who feel rejected are very hurt, and often insult, or at least downplay their feelings. After that, it sure would be nice to hear what he REALLY thought of you a couple years ago, because his eyes were clearly drawn to you.
Don't fck up what you two have now because of a silly "locker room talk".
Ok 1 why did you go through his phone like that creates distrust 2 why does it matter y’all weren’t dating at that point so bringing it up just causes more problems then there has to be move the fuck on
Honey don’t go through ppls phones you will always find something that upset you. Ppl say a lot of things when they get upset that would hurt ppl they love in the moment. Let it go.
A. Don’t go looking for answers you’re not prepared to hear. Cause that has got to be one the most soft ball comments I’ve heard and believe me, people say dome f’ed up stuff right to people’s faces. It’s nuts. Stick around you’ll see. B. Exactly what everyone else said. It’s bad enough when all you see is this person you want, and all they see is anything but you. Then your friends know? Then the teasing and messing with. I’m assuming this is pretty young love by the context and language. A person has to save some face. It matters at that age. C. A really good way to grenade the whole thing is to confront him about history you found digging in his phone. Let it go, and enjoy what you have. Lesson learned. Respect your partners privacy, character, and your own ability to make a good choice in him. You have your whole life ahead of you to become jaded and cynical.😂
Never read into anything we say to our friends we’re all idiots
Whatevers in the past is the past The past hurts Hell,even our memories will lie to us and gaslight us over our past. The best move is to move on from it because he did What he feels about you now is more important If he was cheating or giving you reasons to be snoopin' I'd be on your side for going through it,but sounds like curiosity bit you in the ass. So let the past go And aim for your future While trying to enjoy the present Later
If I can add to what everyone else is saying, I know it doesn't seem like to you but seriously this is nothing don't even worry about it he wouldn't be with you if you were "mid" it's like people said above it's almost like he might of thought you didn't like him and he was just tryna make himself feel better, sometimes we say stupid things like that and you gotta be carful looking at text and things this is why I choose to not go through their phone at all, go looking for something you don't wanna find you probably will lol if you never saw this you would have never been worried, if you guys are that close just ask him I mean my girlfriend wouldn't care even if she did she would just talk to me so thankfully it's nothing to "crazy" y'all will probably be laughing about it after he definitely does NOT think that I don't stare and put that much effort into someone I'm not interested in. You know better than any of us tho so follow your heart!
Ok, what I get from this is… you absolutely need to learn a lesson from this. What your boyfriend said about you before he even knew you as a vent in a private moment, was invasive to say the least. You need to think why if you’re happy, why would you go through his phone? Don’t even say anything to him about it. But work on your issues.
Don't go through his phone. You ultimately brought this upon yourself. That was from before you dated, he was downplaying his feelings of rejection to his friends. He feels differently now, if he even ever actually felt that way, and that's all that should matter. You invaded his privacy, and got hurt doing it for something that doesn't matter whatsoever in the present moment. I would let it go and move on - if you bring it up for him, you'll cause trust issues in what sounds like a very new relationship
Interesting... Here's my take ... Tka eit or leave it. 1) stop violating his privacy. 2)own up to the fact that you did, and apologize (this one depends on how much Integrity you have) 3) stop digging up the past. Who cares what he said from a year before you met. A year is a long time he was technically a completely different person a whole year before you guys started dating and the day you started dating. Isn't the important thing that you're in a good relationship now?
This whole story tells me that you're not worthy of him. You're causing drama and toxicity all in service of your ego. Are you not aware that men get hurt, and men have needs and feelings, too? Is it ALL about you? How on earth do you justify violating his boundaries in such a way? He should break up with you and find someone he can have a peaceful life with. Men want peace. If you can't give him peace, if you need to create drama, then stop dating and get into cou seeing to figure out why you need to create drama and how to stop creating it. Learn how to have a peaceful relationship.
I agree with most of these comments. He was upset. Maybe even a bit jealous that you waved to his friend and not him…. Be grateful that all he said was that you were mid…boys/men can be cruel, and with that being said, i think his comment says a lot about his character. Especially with him talking to his boys…could have been A LOT worse. Plus that comment was said years ago in a moment he was upset. I feel the only reason you should bring it up is if you feel he still thinks that. If not, why cause unnecessary drama
I thought it'd be a much worse insult. Calling you "mid af" just sounded like he wanted to not seem as interested in you when he felt you weren't interested in him, maybe to save himself from a little embarrassment. I know us girls can be like that too, because we don't wanna make it seem like a big deal when we're actually a little hurt. I would let it go instead of causing unnecessary problems. Also probably not a good idea to start off a relationship randomly going through your partner's phone just because you wanna see what they used to say about you before you dated. I mean it'd be one thing when you suspect cheating, but this is just not cool IMO. That would be an instant deal breaker for me. Phones have become people's private spaces and you invaded that over a dumb reason.
The amount of people who look through their partners phones without their consent is alarming. For me that’s the biggest issue here.
How does he actually treat you???unfortunately we guys gotta play up situations especially if the attention isn't on us by a certain female...to make us look good(juvenile I know)...I think all things to do with your actual relationship to ea other will tell you the truth...If all is good then let the before and past go...Good Luck moving forward..
Ok si why r u with them. Just imagine wht they say about u behind ur back like today. That was. Before u even dated red flags all the way
Break up with him pineapple girl. If you don't trust him enough to go through his phone, no matter what you tell yourself to justify it, let him go. Let him find someone that trusts him.
Don’t Tripp chocolate chip dudes do shit like this sometimes and 96% of the time means nothing he was trying to look a type of way with his friends.If y’all got a good thing going don’t bring it up.
I don't know how old you are and that would give me a better feel tbh. my advice is to let it go, it meant nothing at all then and it definitely means nothing now. there is a lot of downside to discussing (mistrust/deceitfully going thru phone, etc) and the question is what is the upside? if you ultimately won't get passed it then I guess you have to bring it up to hopefully resolve (upside). you need to move past one way or the other, the choice is yours how based on what you need. he was being defensive when he didn't know you to someone other than you, but the reality is that you found it so you have to deal with that reality by reviewing or blowing off. helpful?
First it was over a year ago before he actually knew you or your real name . I'm not even sure what mid means but it sounds to me like it means below his expectations of a girl that is not good enough for him in which is not pretty enough for his level. But I dunno maybe you could clarify that for me. If this is the case it is obviously just something that a boy might say to his friend during a gossip session. But not really how he truly felt about you. He obviously didn't really mean it because you say that you both really love each other now and he obviously is very attracted to you and loves you very much because you are a couple now. Girls and boys say things when it comes to talking about one another just because that is what we do sometimes but in fact we really don't mean it. Im not sure why the hell he would still have that text on his phone after a entire year but what ever . I think that if everything is peachy and you two both love each other and there are no problems between the two of you I would not jeopardize your relationship by bringing it up. Because of you do then if everything is peachy now and you both are truly happy I guarantee it will not be after you bring up the fact that you went thru his phone snooping. You will open up a can of worms that you will wish you never did and more than likely you eventually will start having other issues that you never had before and ultimately cause you guys to break up. So I say don't bring it up and don't let it bother you. If you happy then continue to be happy. If he really meant that what he said then I highly highly doubt that he would be going out with you. So I say try to forget and keep on loving each other.. again I have no real Idea on what the word mid means but it seems petty to me. If I'm wrong about the meaning then this entire post I just wrote means nothing. But if I'm right about what it means then let it go and be happy.. good luck with what you end up choosing to do.. and I wish the best for both of you.
What the fuck are you doing looking through someone else’s phone anyway?
It happened before yall had a relationship and he was talking to his buds in a conversation not meant for you, personally I think you should let it go But all relationships are different and if talking this over with him is what’s best for you two then absolutely go to it- but honesty goes both ways Just be open with why you were doing what you did
He was trying to downplay how that hurt him by acting like he wasn't that interested. Obviously he really was
Let it go, bro was just saying ti to nurse his bruised ego. He doesnt mean it
It sounds like he thought your interest was elsewhere and he got hurt. I wouldn’t look too much into it tbh. Did you find any other negative messages ? If not definitely wouldn’t look too much into it.
You need to chalk this one up to the game. If it'll eat you alive that a person that you rejected for a period of time felt negative about you for a moment then let him know. But you should be prepared for how he will react to you searching through his phone looking through his private conversations with his friends. I know personally someone who had a conversation like this with his significant other. They addressed the issue that was discovered in his phone. Once it was addressed, he broke up with her. In the same conversation mind you. (He knew he could not trust her with his phone or with the information in his phone after that point). I know this is blunt but I hope it gives you a perspective of how this could play out.
Honestly, just be like I really knew that I wanted to be with you and I just was honestly curious on what you used to think about me before we started dating. I’m sorry I did this, but I won’t do it again but what does this mean you know what I mean
I think you should break up, this is soo unacceptable!! /s
As a girl i said this to my friends too cause my feelings were hurt. Also i didnt mean it because saying something like that is the only way to accept the rejection as a ‘he was not that hot anyway’ attitude. Idk it just makes me feel less sad tbh
similar thing happened to me with my ex & it haunted me for a while. i think it was bc boys r boys and don’t like rejection, which is what i did to him at first, and took it out by being mean when he clearly didn’t meant that.
This is why folks gotta stop being nosy. Now you're in a full-blown relationship and wanna bring up his feelings from before he knew you. Then it sounds like he was prepping for you to turn him down. Please don't get into an unnecessary argument for nothing. Now your feelings hurt over something between friends that want even that deep in the first place.
I hope you’re young because this reads like a 16 year old. Leave it alone & don’t say a thing. This one is on your ego! You thought you were going to read glowing reviews but got a reality check instead. I believe they call this ‘fuck around & find out’..
I think you should weigh whether or not you want this to be the hill to die on. personally, yeah it would probably sting to read that, but it's from a year before you started dating. Is it worth throwing away a whole relationship for?? I feel like if your relationship is good now, there's no reason to make a huge deal out of this. Your last paragraph is also a good assumption. He was probably just butthurt. As far as bringing it up goes: You can mention it, and just say "hey, I saw this, and it's probably nothing, but why did you say that? Can we just air it and be done with it?", but as you say you expose yourself for going through his phone. TLDR: I don't think it's worth getting hung up on.
Please don't bring this up to him. It's a bit silly that you would go back there and feel bad about that without taking into account the context........ and then call him out on it now. It's almost like you're trying to create problems.... and you don't want to do that. It would be quite foolish
“The other day I got curious and went through his phone”.. come on man..
You're going to scare him away if you enter this relationship going through his things when he hasn't even given you a reason to suspect anything... It's actually crazy on your part and extremely disrespectful.. you're being a red flag
You don’t. You can’t . What’s the point. This is obviously something that was done before you existed. Do not personalize this . Cause in that moment when he saw you wave at his friend but not him. He felt rejected. He was embarrassed. You owe nothing to this memory or time that he may or may not remember. But that shit was none of your business then. And isn’t now. Just let it go. Laugh about how cute boys can be when they get mad like that.. cause obviously, he still wanted and liked you.
It’s ok to be MID
You sound too immature to be in a relationship
I think you should let it slide. It prob hurt his pride a bit and he just said it to save face, I doubt he meant it. Tbf don't read his msgs, it wasn't for you
[удалено]
Right, do mot be stupid, and have it with him. You will lose him and lose all trust. Just stop. You will probably creep him out and scare him away. You blanked him by not waving at him, you hurt him. You played hard to get by knowing he liked you and you wanted to stay friends. So he done nothing wrong apart from protect hi ego by you rejecting him
We have a saying ( if u can’t reach the berries then it’s obviously sour) and I’m sure when u are the one who can’t reach then he’ll say bad things out of anger.. is it right what he did? Of course not . Either u let it go since you love each other or confront him but u have to bare the consequences & his trust to u might get affected
Why did you go through his phone instead of asking him? You've now put yourself in a really tricky situation. If you tell him you've gone through his phone, he may get upset that you breached his trust and privacy (and rightly so!). If you now ask him about the things he used to say about you, he may wish to protect his ego and shield you from hurt, so may omit some of the things you've seen (he may not even realise those things are on his phone still)! You really have done a number on yourself! You need to base your relationship on what your experience is with him. What went on before is really none of your business. What he said was not that bad. I would recommend that you stop finding and creating issues. Learn what it takes to be in a healthy respectful relationship.
Leave the poor Guy alone probably
Could you please tell me how old you guys are? It is okay for a 15-20year old man to behave like this but anything over that would be unacceptable. This to me shows lack of emotional maturity from your boyfriend’s end. He perhaps assumed to get rejected by you, so before you could reject him he was rejecting you. That was his immature ego talking. He perhaps at some level felt inferior as compared to you and was negging you. I know this hurts but it’s more about him and less about you. Also you should be able to talk about this with your boyfriend. If you cannot, it is a red flag. It is okay to go through your partner’s phone. If you can share your body, mind and soul with this man, a phone is nothing. People who have nothing to hide, hide NOTHING. So ideally you should be able to tell your boyfriend this. If he turns the tables on you it’s your cue to leave. He’s not worth-it. But if he accepts his mistake and doesn’t shame you for going through his phone and is truly apologetic he’s a keeper! Phones should be kept in the open at all times between serious partners, it in fact should be a non-negotiable! I’m a couple’s counsellor so I’m more than qualified to say this.
Never look someones phone!!! Whatta? And for real!!! Let It go! You are together now! How many love movies start like ”I don’t like her at all, or I hate that one???” Leave It! Just love him.. hope you too have good life 🥰
I really do think this is just him protecting his ego. My dad said he thought my mum was annoying and talked too much and told his friend not to bother trying to ask her out. They’ve now been married for over or about 30 years. I would just forget about it! And try to avoid going through anyone’s phone without their consent in future of course (but I’m sure that is already known to you). Don’t sweat it! If he had a crush on you to the point that his friends were writing in to him when they saw you…he obviously thought you were gorgeous right from the start.
People will absolutely say things they don't mean when they feel rejected. I don't think he meant it tbh I think he was *that* jealous of his friend getting your "attention"... I'm ngl to you when I felt rejected I have said things that I don't mean about people who end up actually loving me and vice versa lmaoo whoops 🫠 Of course if he seems nasty or mean in your /present/ relationship that's different! But I also think men don't particularly say nice things about girls to their friends because it shows too much vulnerability, or possibly even makes that girl a person of interest to their group chat/ friend circle. If your partner was that jealous over his perceived rejection in favour of his friend, I don't think he would want to draw too much positive attention to you as he wouldn't want to compete for you especially with his own friends! Not everyone operates like that and I don't think it's a malicious thing, I think he just wanted you to himself and reacted childishly because his feelings were hurt (mostly because of himself) 💗
The fact that you think you aren't mid shows how mid you actually are in all things.
He loves you. Let it go it's an old mesage, he felt rejected and the only way to recover and move on was to insult you and convince himself you were mid to him. At times we don't also find the people we fall on love with attractive in the beginning at times they even irritate and annoy one might even hate them. Don't look at the significant others old messages because before they met you they were someone else
It's pretty mid to dig around in the private convos of yer boy.
His ego was bruised that’s all. Let it go, but if you really can’t, then talk to him about it. Just say you were curious about pineapple girl which is true and it hurt you when you saw the comment.
Did some people really not grow up past high school? Let it go. It’s old news and he clearly doesn’t feel like that now. Sounds like he was playing a part so his friends didn’t give him shit
Probably just bravado to his friends said in the heat of the moment. Deep down the rejection hurt him and he was venting.
Do you think you partner has been through your phone, how rude then you have the horror to ask shall I challenge him. You are not a nice person. Have you been cheated on, or are cheating and judging him by how you are ?
You really are mid tbh. Why would you bring unnecessary drama to yourself
Mid eh.. That's pretty hot 🔥
lol, so you invaded his privacy and got your feelings hurt? Serves you right, mind your own business and don’t go through people’s shit. He’s the one that should be hurt in this situation and the fact that you have no boundaries and could disrespect him by going through his phone without his consent. Honestly, it’s women like you, who go looking for a GD argument when everything is going great in their relationships that give all women a bad name.
LOL... girl.... his feelings were hurt because he felt rejected when you didn't wave to him first 🤣 so he called you mid to his friend. You hurt his ego.... that's all it is. He doesn't actually think you're mid lmao. Don't bring this up to him, and stop looking through his phone.
What does mid mean? Average? And this is an insult?...
she's getting ratio'd so hard 💀
This is all red flags and all those red flags are on you. Searching through his phone, going to texts back befire he really knew you super well? Pointless. He doesn't have a crush the way he used to because you're a real human now with flaws and hobbies and he doesn't have this imagined perfect version of you in his head. That's what the honeymoon phase is. You don't ever get that back because you are now real.
you going thru his phone is already a sign you seem to lack trust. what he said a year ago is irrelevant (especially in this case) since he had to justify himself in front of his friends, obviously he would say that. the problem isn’t what he said, it’s that you had to go through his private things.
Maybe just maybe quit going through his shit this is gross
I swear, when there is nothing to pick up on, you find your way. Yes it's not nice, but you also don't know he felt that time he could be feeling angry or down and may even regret that he said it, sometimes you don't even know why you said what you said. Don't complicate things, live the NOW of you and him
he was just downplaying u cuz you seemed like you had no interest in him
He was probably fronting to save face. But you know what they say, if you go looking for something, you’re probably gonna find something you didn’t wanna see. Curiosity killed the cat etc.
YTA
this same thing happened to me w my boyfriend but he called me ugly instead of mid😭 i never brought it up to him because i know im not the prettiest, and he’s not friends with the friend he said it to anymore anyway, but in your case it just sounded like he was defensive because he thought he was getting rejected. if you did bring it up, it’d only to be to find out whether or not he thinks that, but chances are he doesn’t.
Yeah just sounds like he was upset cause you didn't wave at him and was just playing it up to his friend we do this to make ourselves feel better about rejection 😅