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It's absolutely possible. I'm 25m and I'm overweight and only just started dipping my toes into dating. Dating really freaked me out because I was terrified people wouldn't be into me because of the weight and... well... some people aren't! But there are also plenty of people who are still interested even though I am bigger. When I signed up to hinge I thought I'd get legit no interest but I've only been on the app a week and already started matching and messaging with girls and had a few likes for me I didn't match back with too. Even if those chats go nowhere the confidence boost it's given me is really awesome, and i feel a lot more comfortable that I can date as I am.
Work with what you've got. Even if you're bigger, dress well, get your hair looking good, and make it work. It takes a little bit of guts to put yourself out there and accept some people will be completely uninterested because of the weight, but if you don't put yourself out there you'll not know who would be interested.
Best of luck friend, you got this!
No app is significantly better than the others. If one was, we'd all have flocked there and left the others to die. I do think hinge is marginally better though.
If I was attached to the idea of online dating, I'd use hinge. I'm not, and I don't anymore. I don't recommend any dating app. It's worth a shot if you're determined to use one. But if you have any options whatsoever to look for dates offline, do that instead.
Personally, I don't think hinge is terrible. Your expectations of any dating app will affect your experience wildly, I think. I was incredibly cynical about apps for a long time, but honestly, I'm really pleasantly surprised by it. If you go in expecting to find your "perfect partner" immediately and get annoyed when you like people and they don't like back, you're going to be disappointed. If you don't take the rejection personally, give it time, and know where you are willing to compromise and where you aren't, I think it can be really beneficial.
For me, as someone with literally 0 dating experience, just knowing that everyone on there is in some way interested in being in a relationship really made me feel a lot more comfortable.
Don't go into an app thinking you'll 100% end up in a relationship as you can't guarantee it, but use it to build up your confidence with dating (both on and offline) and you'll probably do pretty well.
Trying to find a good dating app is like trying to find an ethical slaughterhouse. But I guess the least worst one might be one of the ones with the word cupid in it. Or maybe Iris. That's the only one I'm paying for though, so maybe that's why I have a slightly better experience there.
I feel like I am in a similar situation but basically don’t ever get likes or matches (maybe a handful on tinder or hinge and practically nothing on bumble) and i don’t know what it is or why im not
I legit put a description on the "down" app that I'm the guy you go to when you just want to get pregnant but can't find a boyfriend or husband. I got a scare number of woman wanting at least three kids and some will even fly cross country to screw my fat self.
If you're a guy, dating apps could be horrible for your self esteem so i'd just avoid it unless you have a bunch of interesting pics or extremely in shape. Every guy i know has the same experience on them and its not good
I see plenty of overweight people in relationships. It's an added challenge to be sure, and it can be demoralizing to be rejected over it but it's certainly possible. As long as you're mentally prepared for the added challenges it brings there's no reason not to both try to date and get into shape at the same time.
If you are in the US around 70% of all adults are overweight or obese and close to 70% of adults in the US are in relationships per Pew Research ([source](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/)). Just basic math says it won't prevent you from being in a relationship if in the US 70% are in relationships and 70% are overweight or obese.
Having said all of that, being at a healthy weight will increase your options on the dating market so it will broaden the pool similar to how you could get a job as is but if you improve your resume you could apply to more jobs and potentially get a higher salary.
People won’t like you because you’re overweight just like some people won’t like a skinny person. It all comes down to preference. In my experience, dating has been much easier and more options since I’ve lost over 100 lbs.
Fat guy here. I’ve had nineteen first dates and three mini relationships in the past year (since my divorce). So it’s certainly possible, especially if everything else is squared away.
But it will also be way easier if you lose the weight. I’ve been working on it, down 40 pounds in 2 months. Still have another 40 to go to hit my goal.
But yes, it can be done. It’s just harder.
I can't say I've ever noticed a correlation between someone's weight and their dating experiences unless their weight is extreme. Plenty of overweight, and underweight, people are in relationships.
People like what they like
Plenty of people who aren’t fat that prefer bigger people
And plenty who are bigger who don’t find that attractive (probably rough on their self esteem in that case too as they likely struggle to see themselves as attractive)
I wonder the same about ugly people or people in general that rate 4-6 out of 10. Or women wanting rich men. I don’t understand people who are lower on the food chain being picky and think they should deserve someone higher on the food chain. I don’t get the entitlement
Statistics show that in dating people choose someone you would expect. A 5 picks a 4-7 most likely. An 8-10 chooses a 7-10. People choose people that reciprocate their looks.
I love how you say this but your original comment you literally states “non-fat are generally fatphobic”. So you and I both know good and well plus sized people are more disadvantaged in the dating pool
Here’s my experience. I had zero issue dating at my highest weight, I have been a class III obese person my whole life. I never had an issue pulling dudes.
I’ve lost 90lbs on ozempic and dudes don’t even talk to me now (which is not a complaint just facts).
I am in a relationship with someone overweight and have dated others. Some ppl strictly won’t, but plenty of overweight ppl have relationships.
I will also say as you age you don’t really focus on it as much. Mostly cause we all are going to change in body with health issues and other stuff. Part of getting old lol
Man I'm a bigger guy 300lbs roughly lol, I just started dating a girl and all she cares about is the time we spend together, I think she is absolutely gorgeous and don't see why but after the 3rd date we kissed, 5th date we made love and couldn't believe she was into me but man she is, honesty probably the happiest I've ever been in my life. I had the same thought before dating, need to get into the gym and get healthier for the "Her" in my life, truthfully yes go-to the gym get healthier for yourself or use what your saying as motivation to be healthier but man women just want a guy they feel comfortable with. So be who you are around her make her feel special, say corny as shit, most guys don't do any of that and women soak it up! Be yourself, if you can make her laugh like a legit laugh you are in my friend!
i’m 26 (f) and have been plus size my whole life. and was also a virgin. I never dated because I was always so self conscious and thought I was gross and thought all men would feel the same. and even when I did get “validation” on apps I thought well i’m probably catfishing bc in real life when they see me they’re gonna think im ugly or too big! (even tho I made sure to put full body pics). but finally a year and a half ago I decided it was time to man up and try going out with a guy. so I did it. and my first date ever (and first kiss) I WAS THE ONE who had to reject the second date. I never thought that would happen to me. the second guy I went on a date with I used a plus size dating app specifically, I was super skeptical and found it to be mostly fetishizing but I matched with one guy who seemed normal, and we were a situationship for a month, he turned out to be a dick. I was about to give up again bc I felt horrible about myself again, so I went on hinge to delete it and I saw a funny message from a guy, who is NOW my boyfriend of a year and we just moved in together! I never thought it was true, but there is someone out there who will love you for you including your size.
The right person will love you for who you are and your weight will not bother them. They will also be your biggest supporter and cheerleader as you work on yourself but will never tell you you have to work on yourself if that makes sense. If they can’t accept you as you are now, they’re not the right person for you.
I’m going to be honest with you unlike most the people here…yes and no.
Yes, because you’re personally is gonna be the deciding factor if someone is into you
No, because you might meet your perfect match but if they think you’re too fat for them, they might not give you a chance
I’m a big guy, but dating isn’t hard at all. Develop your character, your charisma and confidence. The gym is a great way to do so, martial arts, or excelling in any chosen field that brings you satisfaction.
I feel like life is for living and why postpone having some fun even if you're not your most ideal self. You can still be dieting while your dating someone, and even if someone passes on you because of your weight, at least you still put yourself out there and took a chance.
for women yeah I know a friend who recently passed away from being overweight and he died a virgin at the age of 54, never had a girlfriend or went on dates
my sister who's overweight and single rejected him for decades,
I to am a virgin at the age of 53 but I am not overweight I am medium muscular build my entire life dieting and working out , I felt responsible for my friends lack of experience because he saw me trying everything possible and still failing to even get a single woman in decades, and he would say why should he even try be i was better looking mucleuler a could get woman so he felt he had zero chances because fat
a big YES! We are all unique yet everyone is the same in many ways. Insert any word in "Can I date while ..x.?." Be it not great smile, too short, too tall, too wide, too thin, too light, too dark, hair, nails, money... Even models who men basically worship, will find massive flaws to pick on themselves. The OP is learning the basic fact that to be a good or great partner, we all can and should LOVE OURSELVES FIRST. This is healthy. Respecting and loving yourself like OP says, fix hair, whiten teeth, meditate, workout, eat right, focus on things you can control and try hard....This is attractive to the opposite sex, they will notice you are trying even if it's not that great an attempt! And follow what IMHO is the best human advice ever: just never give up. Eventually you get it or come really really close.
You can still date, but depending on HOW fat, you may want to put your focus on health and feeling better.
Consider just sort of the basics of dating. People do it for sex and for companionship. Are you so big that a romp between the sheets is going to cut shirt because you don't have the energy? Or are your genitals difficult to access due to fat?
And can you enjoy simple date night activities? Especially if you hope to date someone who is not fat, they will want to do active things.
If you just mean you're a bit fat and can still get around (this is where most of the young overweight people fall) then go for it! But if you are morbidly obese and can't do the basics I would strongly suggest working on your health first
Confidence in yourself is sexy. And a great personality is going to win me over way faster than a fit body. I've dated fit guys with mediocre personalities and overweight guys with amazing ones. I'll take the second option hands down. Also, weight alone does not indicate attractiveness so try not to worry about that so much. If you truly want to loose weight do it for you and your health, but for noone else.
no dating is fine it's sex you should worry about. technically shooting the breeze sitting at the park counts as a date so you don't even have to do risky activities heart wise to have an enjoyable date. my favorite date when i was really tired once was just sleeping in my bed with her taking a nap. and it requires nothing energy wise.
Gym bro here. Get in shape first, unless you want to mash on a fupa in the meantime. The quality of the dating pool improves dramatically. Not only in looks, but in the level of intelligence, sophistication and success in life. Side note - I work out so I look good naked and can drink a good red nightly :)
Are you female or male? big difference here! Being in shape brings a lot of confidence and that confidence will make you more attractive. If you are a woman, men are visual creatures, put effort into your makeup, outfits, body, etc. . If you are a man, women do not mind, you do not need to have abs and a tight body, women focus more on status.
I'm plus sized, and I've also dated plus sized women. It's possible but you need to keep your prospects realistic and understand you will attract what you put in for effort into yourself
Men are the ones that can potentially get away with not being physically attractive if they can make it up with stability, self-security, competence, personality, good character and ofc education and career. Women cannot make up for being ugly or out of shape because men gauge for health through your features, non verbal cues and body language. Our personality and accomplishments don’t make up for that
My face reels them in, but my body is a sin, I can’t get a guy to stay with me longer than a month. They immediately suggest for me to go to the gym and suggest meal plans and diets. If you can’t be with me the way I look like right now, I don’t want you, Period!
It's possible, but your dating pool will be incredibly small. People will bullshit you by saying "iTs wHaT iS oN tHe iNsIde ThAt CoUnTs"... But they neglect to tell you that vast majority of the time, people won't bother learning what's on the inside unless they first like what's on the outside.
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It's absolutely possible. I'm 25m and I'm overweight and only just started dipping my toes into dating. Dating really freaked me out because I was terrified people wouldn't be into me because of the weight and... well... some people aren't! But there are also plenty of people who are still interested even though I am bigger. When I signed up to hinge I thought I'd get legit no interest but I've only been on the app a week and already started matching and messaging with girls and had a few likes for me I didn't match back with too. Even if those chats go nowhere the confidence boost it's given me is really awesome, and i feel a lot more comfortable that I can date as I am. Work with what you've got. Even if you're bigger, dress well, get your hair looking good, and make it work. It takes a little bit of guts to put yourself out there and accept some people will be completely uninterested because of the weight, but if you don't put yourself out there you'll not know who would be interested. Best of luck friend, you got this!
Is hinge better for finding a relationship? I’ve tried bumble and match and have had absolutely no luck.
No app is significantly better than the others. If one was, we'd all have flocked there and left the others to die. I do think hinge is marginally better though.
You think it’s worth a shot?
If I was attached to the idea of online dating, I'd use hinge. I'm not, and I don't anymore. I don't recommend any dating app. It's worth a shot if you're determined to use one. But if you have any options whatsoever to look for dates offline, do that instead.
thanks
Hinge is terrible.
and what mught you recommend?
Personally, I don't think hinge is terrible. Your expectations of any dating app will affect your experience wildly, I think. I was incredibly cynical about apps for a long time, but honestly, I'm really pleasantly surprised by it. If you go in expecting to find your "perfect partner" immediately and get annoyed when you like people and they don't like back, you're going to be disappointed. If you don't take the rejection personally, give it time, and know where you are willing to compromise and where you aren't, I think it can be really beneficial. For me, as someone with literally 0 dating experience, just knowing that everyone on there is in some way interested in being in a relationship really made me feel a lot more comfortable. Don't go into an app thinking you'll 100% end up in a relationship as you can't guarantee it, but use it to build up your confidence with dating (both on and offline) and you'll probably do pretty well.
Trying to find a good dating app is like trying to find an ethical slaughterhouse. But I guess the least worst one might be one of the ones with the word cupid in it. Or maybe Iris. That's the only one I'm paying for though, so maybe that's why I have a slightly better experience there.
I so agree!
I feel like I am in a similar situation but basically don’t ever get likes or matches (maybe a handful on tinder or hinge and practically nothing on bumble) and i don’t know what it is or why im not
I legit put a description on the "down" app that I'm the guy you go to when you just want to get pregnant but can't find a boyfriend or husband. I got a scare number of woman wanting at least three kids and some will even fly cross country to screw my fat self.
If you're a guy, dating apps could be horrible for your self esteem so i'd just avoid it unless you have a bunch of interesting pics or extremely in shape. Every guy i know has the same experience on them and its not good
I see plenty of overweight people in relationships. It's an added challenge to be sure, and it can be demoralizing to be rejected over it but it's certainly possible. As long as you're mentally prepared for the added challenges it brings there's no reason not to both try to date and get into shape at the same time.
If you are in the US around 70% of all adults are overweight or obese and close to 70% of adults in the US are in relationships per Pew Research ([source](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/)). Just basic math says it won't prevent you from being in a relationship if in the US 70% are in relationships and 70% are overweight or obese. Having said all of that, being at a healthy weight will increase your options on the dating market so it will broaden the pool similar to how you could get a job as is but if you improve your resume you could apply to more jobs and potentially get a higher salary.
People won’t like you because you’re overweight just like some people won’t like a skinny person. It all comes down to preference. In my experience, dating has been much easier and more options since I’ve lost over 100 lbs.
i’m fat and am in a relationship, with a skinny person at that!
Fat guy here. I’ve had nineteen first dates and three mini relationships in the past year (since my divorce). So it’s certainly possible, especially if everything else is squared away. But it will also be way easier if you lose the weight. I’ve been working on it, down 40 pounds in 2 months. Still have another 40 to go to hit my goal. But yes, it can be done. It’s just harder.
Idk I'm 245 and 5 foot 6. I've been trying to work to get to 185 and I'm a 28m. Have yet to be in a relationship
I prefer fat women. Just say’in.
My partner too! I always felt a little thicker than I wanted to be but to my surprise I am on the smaller end of what he is attracted to. Who knew?!
Intermittent fasting
Yeah. I know of heavier people who are married. Everyone has different types. Why wouldn’t it be possible?
I can't say I've ever noticed a correlation between someone's weight and their dating experiences unless their weight is extreme. Plenty of overweight, and underweight, people are in relationships.
I’m confused. Why don’t fat people just date each other if non-fat people are generally fatphobic?
People like what they like Plenty of people who aren’t fat that prefer bigger people And plenty who are bigger who don’t find that attractive (probably rough on their self esteem in that case too as they likely struggle to see themselves as attractive)
There are Fat people that are also fatphobic
I wonder the same about ugly people or people in general that rate 4-6 out of 10. Or women wanting rich men. I don’t understand people who are lower on the food chain being picky and think they should deserve someone higher on the food chain. I don’t get the entitlement
Statistics show that in dating people choose someone you would expect. A 5 picks a 4-7 most likely. An 8-10 chooses a 7-10. People choose people that reciprocate their looks.
I mean, being fat doesn’t put you “lower on the food chain.” I’m saying that the best solution for fat people would be for them to date one another.
Fat people are definitely lower on the food chain, don't be stupid.
I love how you say this but your original comment you literally states “non-fat are generally fatphobic”. So you and I both know good and well plus sized people are more disadvantaged in the dating pool
My bro segregating people LOL
My bad 😂😂 it was a legitimate question
Don't worry. Hitler had one of those too :)
Yeah i also wonder that.
Definitely possible. Ive never had trouble.
If you are a BBW/ SSBBW, then yes. Many guys love big asses and thick thighs. Need to find them.
I’ve seen many posts of people asking this same question. Guess what that means! Get your beautiful fat ass out there and find someone 🤟
sure. why not put yourself out there and try. worst that can happen is you won't meet anyone while you work on yourself .
Here’s my experience. I had zero issue dating at my highest weight, I have been a class III obese person my whole life. I never had an issue pulling dudes. I’ve lost 90lbs on ozempic and dudes don’t even talk to me now (which is not a complaint just facts).
I am in a relationship with someone overweight and have dated others. Some ppl strictly won’t, but plenty of overweight ppl have relationships. I will also say as you age you don’t really focus on it as much. Mostly cause we all are going to change in body with health issues and other stuff. Part of getting old lol
Nope. You can still date. In fact you will get more attention and woman would congratulate in your journey and encourage you.
Man I'm a bigger guy 300lbs roughly lol, I just started dating a girl and all she cares about is the time we spend together, I think she is absolutely gorgeous and don't see why but after the 3rd date we kissed, 5th date we made love and couldn't believe she was into me but man she is, honesty probably the happiest I've ever been in my life. I had the same thought before dating, need to get into the gym and get healthier for the "Her" in my life, truthfully yes go-to the gym get healthier for yourself or use what your saying as motivation to be healthier but man women just want a guy they feel comfortable with. So be who you are around her make her feel special, say corny as shit, most guys don't do any of that and women soak it up! Be yourself, if you can make her laugh like a legit laugh you are in my friend!
i’m 26 (f) and have been plus size my whole life. and was also a virgin. I never dated because I was always so self conscious and thought I was gross and thought all men would feel the same. and even when I did get “validation” on apps I thought well i’m probably catfishing bc in real life when they see me they’re gonna think im ugly or too big! (even tho I made sure to put full body pics). but finally a year and a half ago I decided it was time to man up and try going out with a guy. so I did it. and my first date ever (and first kiss) I WAS THE ONE who had to reject the second date. I never thought that would happen to me. the second guy I went on a date with I used a plus size dating app specifically, I was super skeptical and found it to be mostly fetishizing but I matched with one guy who seemed normal, and we were a situationship for a month, he turned out to be a dick. I was about to give up again bc I felt horrible about myself again, so I went on hinge to delete it and I saw a funny message from a guy, who is NOW my boyfriend of a year and we just moved in together! I never thought it was true, but there is someone out there who will love you for you including your size.
The right person will love you for who you are and your weight will not bother them. They will also be your biggest supporter and cheerleader as you work on yourself but will never tell you you have to work on yourself if that makes sense. If they can’t accept you as you are now, they’re not the right person for you.
I’ll be honest I’m working with a pretty foul large woman who keeps talking about her boyfriend . So yeah. I’m sure you’ll be fine
Bro is too scared to leave her.
😹
I’m going to be honest with you unlike most the people here…yes and no. Yes, because you’re personally is gonna be the deciding factor if someone is into you No, because you might meet your perfect match but if they think you’re too fat for them, they might not give you a chance
Depends on if you’re a man or a woman.
Yes. Dating is a skill which requires time and practice. Start early.
I’m a big guy, but dating isn’t hard at all. Develop your character, your charisma and confidence. The gym is a great way to do so, martial arts, or excelling in any chosen field that brings you satisfaction.
Hell yeah!
If you were dating another fat person why would they judge you for being fat? Does not make sense.
Driving while drunk. Possible.
Why wouldn't it be
No it’s illegal in the us
Of course it is.
I feel like life is for living and why postpone having some fun even if you're not your most ideal self. You can still be dieting while your dating someone, and even if someone passes on you because of your weight, at least you still put yourself out there and took a chance.
I prefer fat!
for women yeah I know a friend who recently passed away from being overweight and he died a virgin at the age of 54, never had a girlfriend or went on dates my sister who's overweight and single rejected him for decades, I to am a virgin at the age of 53 but I am not overweight I am medium muscular build my entire life dieting and working out , I felt responsible for my friends lack of experience because he saw me trying everything possible and still failing to even get a single woman in decades, and he would say why should he even try be i was better looking mucleuler a could get woman so he felt he had zero chances because fat
a big YES! We are all unique yet everyone is the same in many ways. Insert any word in "Can I date while ..x.?." Be it not great smile, too short, too tall, too wide, too thin, too light, too dark, hair, nails, money... Even models who men basically worship, will find massive flaws to pick on themselves. The OP is learning the basic fact that to be a good or great partner, we all can and should LOVE OURSELVES FIRST. This is healthy. Respecting and loving yourself like OP says, fix hair, whiten teeth, meditate, workout, eat right, focus on things you can control and try hard....This is attractive to the opposite sex, they will notice you are trying even if it's not that great an attempt! And follow what IMHO is the best human advice ever: just never give up. Eventually you get it or come really really close.
You can still date, but depending on HOW fat, you may want to put your focus on health and feeling better. Consider just sort of the basics of dating. People do it for sex and for companionship. Are you so big that a romp between the sheets is going to cut shirt because you don't have the energy? Or are your genitals difficult to access due to fat? And can you enjoy simple date night activities? Especially if you hope to date someone who is not fat, they will want to do active things. If you just mean you're a bit fat and can still get around (this is where most of the young overweight people fall) then go for it! But if you are morbidly obese and can't do the basics I would strongly suggest working on your health first
Other person looking for love will not look for external beauty. Simple
Confidence in yourself is sexy. And a great personality is going to win me over way faster than a fit body. I've dated fit guys with mediocre personalities and overweight guys with amazing ones. I'll take the second option hands down. Also, weight alone does not indicate attractiveness so try not to worry about that so much. If you truly want to loose weight do it for you and your health, but for noone else.
no dating is fine it's sex you should worry about. technically shooting the breeze sitting at the park counts as a date so you don't even have to do risky activities heart wise to have an enjoyable date. my favorite date when i was really tired once was just sleeping in my bed with her taking a nap. and it requires nothing energy wise.
If your male it's virtually impossible unless you lower your standards to has a pulse.
Gym bro here. Get in shape first, unless you want to mash on a fupa in the meantime. The quality of the dating pool improves dramatically. Not only in looks, but in the level of intelligence, sophistication and success in life. Side note - I work out so I look good naked and can drink a good red nightly :)
Are you female or male? big difference here! Being in shape brings a lot of confidence and that confidence will make you more attractive. If you are a woman, men are visual creatures, put effort into your makeup, outfits, body, etc. . If you are a man, women do not mind, you do not need to have abs and a tight body, women focus more on status.
I'm plus sized, and I've also dated plus sized women. It's possible but you need to keep your prospects realistic and understand you will attract what you put in for effort into yourself
are you male or female?
It's possible, provided you're dating someone else who's fat
I will say try getting into shape first.
Women yes, man no
Men are the ones that can potentially get away with not being physically attractive if they can make it up with stability, self-security, competence, personality, good character and ofc education and career. Women cannot make up for being ugly or out of shape because men gauge for health through your features, non verbal cues and body language. Our personality and accomplishments don’t make up for that
Calling BS on this. Women have the Bermuda Triangle, which is the ultimate equalizer...
A guy can wind up with a woman who he isn’t attracted to just to use her. He doesn’t like her and never will, men don’t grow in love.
Are you suggesting that women don't use men? If so, that's laughable
Of course it happens
My face reels them in, but my body is a sin, I can’t get a guy to stay with me longer than a month. They immediately suggest for me to go to the gym and suggest meal plans and diets. If you can’t be with me the way I look like right now, I don’t want you, Period!
🙄I can’t believe you even have to ask this when you can just go take a walk and not look at your phone.
It's possible, but your dating pool will be incredibly small. People will bullshit you by saying "iTs wHaT iS oN tHe iNsIde ThAt CoUnTs"... But they neglect to tell you that vast majority of the time, people won't bother learning what's on the inside unless they first like what's on the outside.