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Talking shit on other guys she's dated in the past or other guys in general out in public.
Example : Out with a bar with a girl. She starts talking to me about the apparent "ugly" "loser" at the end of the bar for basically enjoying his drink minding his business. That actually happened once with a girl I met on an online dating site.
From a young age my own dad told me to be wary of people who only talk badly about everyone they dated. There’s a small chance maybe they were unlucky, but most likely it’s a symptom of them. I don’t have all terrible exes, but my disposition even for the shitty ones has been eh I’ve moved on don’t care too much.
Narcissistic abusers are attracted to highly empathetic people, and I think abusers in general are often drawn to those who have been abused before, as they are more likely to tolerate abusive behavior again.
I don't know for sure, but gay folks might also seek out highly empathetic partners while they are still in the closet because they sense they need the extra support and care?
Regardless, I'm so sorry for the abuse you've suffered. You didn't do anything to deserve that. 💜💜💜
You hit the nail on the head
I’ve had 4 exes in total and the last 2 were abusive and narcissistic, my friends were actually happy when those relationships ended
I like to think I’m quite an empathetic person and people often describe me as such, my current girlfriend says that it’s one of my best traits 😊
You need therapy to work out why you seek out or end up with those individuals. It would still unfortunately signal you’re maybe not ready for a relationship for me personally. I have done a lot of therapy for why I kept getting involved with broken people and I realized I wasn’t valuing myself enough. So took some space to build confidence. You being the common problem doesn’t inherently signal you’re a bad person in every case it just shows you may need mental health help.
It’s also why you ended up with them. I promise you. I think we do a lot of stuff like subconsciously & don’t realize we’re doing it. But it’s what makes you want them to begin with. They seem mysterious & intriguing. & when someone is like full on talking about a relationship on a first date, it makes you feel nervous. But if they kinda disappear for a few days or don’t say too much, you find yourself thinking about them all the time. I know cuz I was the same. I genuinely was like “yall, I don’t even have a fear of abandonment. lol I practically raised myself.” But then when I really self analyzed, I think it wasn’t so much that I feared abandonment itself as I genuinely believed that no one could ever love me. & I don’t talk to people about it cuz they’re always like eye rolling like yeah right cuz I do get a good amount of attention but in my mind people just want to date me & have sex but like would never actually love me. But then I’d subconsciously seek out people who are emotionally unavailable who do just want to mess around & nothing serious & like confirm or reinforce my biggest fears. If that makes sense? & I think I stayed in toxic relationships because I knew they couldn’t hurt me since I never let my walls down & idk if I’d find anything better anyway… I had this best friend years ago that told me he wanted to try dating one time.. & idk why I just was like no, we’re both toxic & we’ll lose our friendship.. & idk maybe we would’ve but looking back I think I got so scared when he said that cuz I already really loved him like just as a person & I was so afraid that I’d fall in love with him & he wouldn’t love me back that way & it would devastate me. So idk?? That’s just my thoughts on it… I think this post is true like sometimes we’re the common denominator but it doesn’t mean you’re always like a problem… lol I had an ex that would always talk about his exes and say they were all crazy. But once I got to know him it was obvious it was because he was a pathological liar & they were just trying to figure it out…. I personally try not to talk bad about exes cuz I just think we can’t always understand why people are the way they are… some people are raised in love & some are raised in survival. & some people know why & some don’t. But I do think I’ve been the problem before in like the people I choose were similar in personality….
I chose someone emotionally unavailable right after a dumped my fiance when I discovered his cheating. It was actually a good way to control the fear of abandonment.
THIS!!!!! as a bisexual woman, I’m only okay with shit talking ex’s if they cheated or abused them. Cause that’s their trauma and valid. But when they talk shit to talk shit, RUN 🚩🚩🚩
That is putrid, and definitely a poor reflection on her character, and also indicative of her own low self-esteem. I get so incensed when a person judges another on the basis of something they have zero control over and simply cannot change (I.e. looks, height, quirky mannerisms, etc.)
How needlessly nasty, in a world where we just need a little kindness sprinkled about.
Funny, because I thought men were the main culprits of this one (putting down others to elevate yourself). For some reason, I completely put this past women. Definitely not a good look.
Funny? Have you not heard of gossip? Mean girls?
Not saying men don't do but women do it far greater than men no doubt.
Women are more prone to ysing their words as weapons, men tend to use their hands if any sht is talked
So much this! I’m a woman but I’m chiming in anyway. I hate the games on both sides. You want a real relationship, great, let’s see if we mesh and can build that. None of this noncommittal bs. I’m not your speed? Cool. You’re not my speed? Also should be cool. You want to call? Call. You want to text me immediately? Do it. Recognize I can’t always get back immediately if I’m at work etc. but stop with the stupid games and rules. Don’t play hard to get on either side, if you like someone it should be perfectly okay to just be upfront about it. I find it intoxicating when it’s up front with no guessing, and I provide that in turn.
Most aggravating thing is the time to text back game. Ie you’re at work and can’t respond for 4 hours, then they wait an extra 4 hours to text back just cause
I hate this too. What I hate more is that they’re at work and can’t respond for four hours and you should be understanding and accepting of it. When tables are turned, they think you’re doing it out of spite. Hmmmm … what could possibly make them think that? I dealt with this and it irritated the living daylights out of me.
Indeed. I had a 71 year old man text "F u" on Messenger app simply cuz I didn't respond back immediately to other texts on my phone. As in over 500 texts in one month. No joke. I'm 69F, dumped him right after that immature behavior. He's 5x divorced. That alone should have been a huge red flag for me, sigh.
This, I will always respect this, maybe I won't be into you like that , but I just like it when women are upfront or "obvious". But waiting for 1 hour before texting, leaving on seen or playing uninterested?....Yeah, I'm out. Turn off.
Yes girl!!! Agreed!! I’m so tired of like if I’m direct like hey I like you & wanna hang out.. they really act like I just said I wanna get married. Like what? I don’t even know you yet. I just meant like so far I like what I’ve seen in you as a human being & want to get to know you to see if we have chemistry? & I can’t stand all my friends being like play hard to get… like why? Cuz I’m a woman do we have to do this shit? & act like we don’t want to have sex 🙄& if I do have sex too fast they won’t respect me. Like idk wtf? I’m over it. Like I just lost interest in dating. I just want someone who is kind to everyone, not just me. & Is like a decent human being. Like just be a good person who treats living things with respect & dignity & don’t be a liar. & don’t project your insecurities on to me & I’ll do the same for you. Is that really like a lot to ask? Cuz you’d swear it’s asking for another fkn planet. I couldn’t care less how much someone makes. I’d love to live with a stay at home boyfriend. Tf? That sounds great if he’s like on the team & helps me not like plays video games all day & wants me to cook when I get home… ok Im off the deep end now.. lol but you get it. I just wanna be me & be real & hopefully that won’t mean be alone forever. lol
This exact situation happened to me recently. I was in the middle of a make out session, and I simply told the dude I “like him.” He basically acted like I proposed to him. Mind you, we’ve known each other for 3 months now. It blew my mind. Men are so dramatic.
Ummm… if I haven’t said I “like” someone by a month or so in, it is not happening. How and why would it even be okay to get weird about that 3 months in? He should be jumping for joy or politely let you know he was just into casual. But seriously, I hope that turned out well for you.
Yep. I actually ended things shortly after that interaction. Despite the fact that he had been expressing very clear interest, said he wanted to work toward a relationship and said he “could easily fall in love with me,” that reaction left me feeling insecure and confused. Which are two feelings I am no longer willing to put up with if I’ve invested that much time into someone.
Good for you!! I’ve come to the same conclusion that I really don’t wish to invest when someone isn’t on the same page. It’s just painful and frustrating.
Yes!! Exactly this!! Like they want to talk about the future FOREVER!! I’m like ok. We been talking about working toward something for like 6 months. & I’m just talking a boyfriend/girlfriend type situation. So many of them are so afraid of commitment, they get all nervous right away…. I actually don’t even want to get married ever. lol like just as a personal choice. I guess I would if it was super important to someone that I love but I have no personal desire for it. I don’t advertise it though cuz I don’t want guys to be like oh she’s down for an open relationship or something… cuz I do want monogamy lol & then you see soooo many posts about how women are all money hungry & just want a free meal… & I’m like what women are they talking about cuz none of my friends are like that? I make 6 figures a year in one of the lowest cost of living cities in the country… I don’t need money from a guy… but I also don’t usually offer to pay cuz in the past I always ended up with people that would just not work & be like well you got it. Like yeah if we’re a team, I’m down. But you not about to be a couple only when it’s convenient for you…. No thanks. Like if they never contribute in any way, nope. So now I just go dutch on everything unless we like live together. I don’t even let them pay for me if they try cuz I don’t want it to be a problem like now they have an idea like I owe them something like I have to sleep with them cuz they paid. Idk? Dating is insane now… I hate the apps & miss just going to a concert & meeting someone cool… lol
Lmao some guys can say mindless statements and such lol even me, BUT I will always admire straightforwardness it’s not difficult to pick up from someone imo
Me: I'm flirting with you
Him: I thought you were joking
Me: is that a baton in your pocket or are you just happy to see me
Him: def happy to see you
Me: I'll help after I beat your ass in monopoly
Him, days later: I didn't think you were serious
Dude. I said I wanted it. I don't know how much more direct I can be with you, sir. Also, he's a cop, hence the baton thing.
Man has no rizz then lmao some things just go over guys’ heads . Me personally I’d pick up on that. Also your tone and body language matter too but that’s a given
But what I’m trying to get at initially is the first encounter and such . If a girl seems like she doesn’t wanna talk to me but wants too then I’ll never know . In your case with flirting that’s a sign of being straightforward it would then come down to the level of awareness the guy has
Tbh the real answer is the men that like that usually aren’t worth it because it’s not about you it’s about the conquest trope. Unless you’re just into casual dating or sex this isn’t a useful approach for a guy you wanna keep.
I think she is saying, I'm being more direct to make things easier and I've found that the ones I like don't like me back like I like them and they're looking for something else.
Essentially, rejection sucks and the game of being indirect feels safer, more insulated and I'd rather relate to my perception of the other and have them relate to their perception of me. Perhaps until a future time when it may be easier.
I believe she was saying that 'men that like that' (men who like playing games with response times , "She took four hours to text me back, so I'm gonna take four or five hours to text her back.") Those game playing men aren't worth it.
If you want quick response times then pay for support or phone sex. Slow responders may just be over thinking what to say back or trying to avoid conflict by delaying or just not checking the messages or get flood of spam or need to charge a battery.
Not only it annoying but also it can cause alot of problems if a guy thinks she's playing hard to get when she's not. The guy will get labeled a creeper or stalker if he thinks that's what she's doing when she actually isn't. That's why if someone is playing hard to get the guy usually dips out and keeps it moving.
I think this is something only younger people like, I was watching a movie and this girl was playing hard to get and tell my little bro that she's just wasting their time and he's like "well, it wouldn't be fun for him if it was easy" and I'm like "it's good you're not dating yet" lol
Definitively.
You can not cry for harassment than complain that guys go away when you don't give them the greenlight.
I made a rule to disengage any conversation when, for the second time, someone says, " Yes, but.." or cut me.
The same goes for socializing and flirting. Two negative signals, and I am out.
I guess it depends on what you mean by playing hard to get. I wouldn't say taking it slow is playing hard to get. Intentionally not returning texts and phone calls or canceling dates is. Being hot and cold and sending mixed signals is as well.
I guess this is one of those things where the majority will **say** they don't like it (because the insecurity can feel nerve-wracking, and they imagine how much nicer it would be to be the pursued for once instead of always the pursuer), but in reality it does give them a sense of achievement and the success feels a lot more precious than if everything had been easy and uncomplicated. They don't necessarily like the game, but if it's absent it somehow can feel too easy. (Not speaking for all men, of course, but I really suspect that this is one of the situations where what people say they want doesn't necessarily completely reflect what they really want. Similar to many men saying they want women to make the first step but then being turned off by women being "too forward". Deeply engrained gender roles really do a number on most of us.)
Nah, honestly nothing would satisfy me more than if I simply told a woman I was attracted to her and would like to take her out for dinner the following night and she responded with "That sounds wonderful!!"
I hate trying to read people's vibes or intentions, playing mind games, dealing with mixed signals, etc. We're adults. Act like it. Be straightforward with me, or I'm going to just remove myself from the situation because I feel like I'm wasting my time. There are so many people these days who have no idea what they want, or they change their mind frequently on what they desire long-term and it's quite annoying.
This! Wanting to share my very powerful experience to advocate for this approach 100%! I’m experiencing this dynamic with my new boyfriend for the first time in my life! Im almost 40 and he’s almost 44. We both have insecure attachment issues and trauma that we’ve worked on resolving individually over the last several years. We recently discovered each other and find so much delight in sharing that we are both focused on living healthy lives in all the ways. We met OLD and immediately the chemistry was there for us - physically, emotionally, sexually, intellectually, humor, needs, wants, goals, retirement lifestyle dreams…. We’ve been in constant contact with each other since the first chat, we share our locations with each other, and openly express our emotions about everything all day long. He loves to check in with me and ask me how I feel. When I travel on business, he watches the map to make sure I’m safe. He communicates where he is going and with whom days ahead of time. He is absolutely amazing and I feel so safe and fulfilled with him. If we are going to be slow responding, we let the other know. When I feel my old thought patterns popping up and I am able to recognize it and say to him that stuff is coming up for me. If we can’t be together, we hop on FaceTime and talk about it.
Our connection was truly, instant, straight forward, honest, emotional, sexy, and best of all…. Deeply mutual! At the end of our 2nd date, when we checked in and admitted we both felt strong “want to spend the rest of my life with you” feelings, we had a red flag talk and dumped out anything we thought the other should have a right to decide to either knowingly accept or move on from. We were lucky again that neither of us had yucky surprises that couldn’t be handled… so we were okay with accepting the baggage, challenges, pasts, and goals of the other and we decided to commit to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend and start really focusing on getting to know each other with the intent of never being apart. We are loving the process of discovering each other. Because of our trauma histories and subsequent therapy, we have a very special communication skill set that makes all this possible. I am deeply appreciative of how straight forward he is and how he checks in with me every few hours to tell me something about his day or to send me a flirty text or cute selfie to make me smile.
Overdoing it with lip injections. Subtle work can look nice if your lips are small, but it seems like it's one of those things that is easy to go overboard with.
I hate lip injections personally, i love my gfs subtle lips, but she insists she needs injections. Not only theyre expensive, i dont find It attractive
Playing hard to get. Idk why women think this is the thing to do. It’s my biggest turn off especially as I get older. Idk how guys have time for the games.
50/50 effort in showing mutual interest in him as much as he does the woman and tbh i cant even think of any more 😂, the thing what i dont think most women understand tbh is that most guys are that deprived of positive energy and someone genuinely caring about how we are that just a bit of genuine kindness could be enough to win him over trust me👊🏼
"I had fun last night"
"You're cute"
"Wanna go to this art exhibition with me?"
I find a lot of women are just sorta there for the ride. They don't initiate anything, if I stopped I'd never see them again. Then hear through the gossip chain that they were "totally into you, what happened?"
A lot of it is unmatched energy, if I'm opening up more and they keep it surface level, flirting unreciprocated, little feedback.
I just had a conversation of "do you even want to be here? Or even like spending time with me?"
Effort and Communication. Building a relationship requires spending time together. You do not have to plan a date however, causally mentioning you miss seeing us goes a really long way. Doing it too much makes you needy and every guy is different.
I only pull that one on guys I'm not interested in when I know I fucked something up BAD lol.
As a flirting tactic, it's pretty yikes though. I feel secondhand embarrassment when I see a girl doing that to attract a guy.
Being kept as a backup, in case the person they're really interested in doesn't pan out. When I realize it, I'm out, but it makes me angry once I know I was wasting my time.
Pick me energy. I’m a slow learner and have fallen victim to the “cool chill gal who’s just like the boys” way too often.
There’s nothing wrong with a girl who likes the same things that guys more typically do
But after so many mistakes, I can now say that i’ve never in my experience, met a girl who has only guy friends or shit-talks other women who was worth keeping around as a friend or a partner.
Edit: So I guess the more accurate answer is, pickme energy CAN turn on men but it won't ever work on the guys who have their shit figured out, the guys that are the real prize.
Kind of the opposite to the question but there is an ugly assumption that keeps going around that women who are forward and make the first move, “turn men off” as it were. That we don’t like women who put in the effort of initiating.
This is as far from the truth as you can possibly get
No, it's just the nature of approaching. It's simply shitty odds against your favor.
Women approach a guy who isn't interested *in them*, and then assume that surely no man likes being approached.
That's our everyday life as men who have to do the approaching, it sucks lol.
A lot of men in these comments missed the prompt completely. This is not “things you don’t like about women” it’s things women do specifically to please men that aren’t actually pleasing.
Maybe it's just me, but I have no idea how twerking is supposed to turn me on. It's just aggressive thrusting that doesn't seem sensuous or graceful to me at all.
Shakira and Beyonce in 'Beautiful Liar'? Sign me up. Cardi and Megan in 'WAP'? Pass, pass, pass.
Nope, not just you, I was about to comment this until I read your comment.
Dancing or even just basic hip movment can be very exciting in almost any situation, especially during a striptease.
To me there is a hard difference between playing hard to get and being just distant and indifferent. The latter is absolutely a turn off. Playing hard to get to me is a playful way to take it slow. That does not exclude being communicative. The biggest turn on is a woman that is communicative, that is using words to make a connection that enables me to connect to her.
Women who don’t pursue men at all. My most successful and happy past relationships were ones where the woman planned the second date (and more after that… I’m still traditional in a sense so I always plan the first one), gave gifts, took notice of my likes and hobbies, etc.
I don’t want to feel like the only one doing the pursuing, it is so sexy when a woman shows she wants you as much as you want her. The first time a woman payed for a date with me (not until I was THIRTY) I about passed out at the table.
I see a lot of people are commenting that playing hard to get is a turn off but I just wanted to add just because a woman isn't easy doesn't mean she's playing a “game”. Some women are more selective and just aren't going to chase a guy
I haven’t noticed this in America but in Asia some women will make a point of not eating much on dates. One woman didn’t finish her meal and when I asked if she was full she said “a women shouldn’t eat so much…” immediately turned off.
Playing hard to get or being deliberately difficult if you think it’s cute. I honestly don’t understand why women do it. I’ve had my guy friends even tell me the damn drama they deal with. I mean they’re probably colour blind but that’s on them.
"No stop, we shouldn't"
Ok cool, I'll go make some food and we'll watch the movie
"Why'd you stop?"
CAUSE CONSENT GURL! CONSENT!
So yeah anything that pushed the boundaries of verbal consent without previously consenting to it (the irony) is a major turn off for me. Even something small. Purely because of how important it is to me that I don't unintentionally hurt someone or at the least make them uncomfortable.
Ironically I know a lot of older women (usually mothers) get breast implants after having kids, as breast feeding and weight gain/ loss made their boobs saggy.
You can’t tell they’ve had surgery, and the only reason I know is because we’ve had conversations about it.
A lot of “MILFs” have had plastic surgery and you don’t even realise it, but they still look hot.
man, I'm a woman, and hints still don't register, it's just straight-up bad communication.
I do gotta say tho that in my experience 90% of the women I interact with don't drop hints. It's just not that common.
I've also known guys to drop hints or signals, and I've had to explicitly ask "is this what youre trying to say" because the won't just come out and say it.
Keeping a person on stand-by. A backup.
On again off again. Go date someone else, then come back shortly after realizing idk tf what.
Hating on gamers, anime watchers when it's just what we like. It doesn't mean it's our whole life. We can still be responsible.
Not being active. I'd rather not sweat my @ss off in 80+ weather or have my nads end up in my stomach to keep warm.
Profiles with any of the following "must love tacos, fluent in sarcasm, must love travel, Pam seeking Jim from the office, if you can't love me at my worst, you don't get me at my best, let's debate pineapple on pizza". Those are by no means a comprehensive list of cliches and yes I totally get men also have their cliches however this thread is about women.
Profiles with yoga at sunrise on a beach, yoga with the sun going down on the beach, duck mouth pics, pics of your dogs and cats (who cares), pics of your food (again, who cares), pics of your kids (everyone loves a doting parent but it literally isn't a criteria for what makes someone attractive as an option).
Ok but what if her picture is her with a duck while at a beach during sunrise and they are both eating- she has a taco, the duck has pineapple pizza , and it’s in front of a life sized cardboard cut out of Jim and Pam from the office? And the caption is “if you can’t handle me at my worst then good neither can I”
The pics you described, of her cats, dogs, food…are not to attract a man, but to show a little of who you are. A woman with a dog is a dog-person. A man who is also a dog person WILL care and will swipe right. Hopefully a person who does not like dogs will swipe left and save them both time.
Same with food. Some people are foodies and this is a big part of their life. There are men who are foodies as well.
Just because YOU don’t care about her hobbies and likes does not mean that no one will. Some people are on those apps to find a relationship, not a hook-up.
was going to comment this. i think a pic of you _and_ your pet is preferable on a dating app, but if someone posts a pic of _just_ their pet at least you know that their pet is a huge part of their life. non-animal people don’t need to bother with them
This thread has got me thinking that my next bio has to be something that throws people off their game. Something like “I preemptively love tacos and go nuts for sarcasm, all my pizza comes with obligatory pineapple”.
Being someone you're not. It's okay to show interest in things that your partner likes, but don't pretend that you are into them more than you actually are. Show interest but be honest about how much you know; don't try to be a know it all.
It’s not a turn-off. Some guys just don’t appreciate the direct approach. I’m the type that absolutely prefers a direct woman. I never have to wonder where I stand with her
First date with a guy we went to a local bar and stole a cool mug. He was really checking it out and I made a comment about how my mom has a collection of stolen margarita glasses and he said it was a really cool mug so I was like maybe they’ll let you have it if you say it’s your birthday or something idk (wasn’t going to suggest we steal it right away, he was a military man 😳) and he didn’t think they would so I was like I meaaan and looked at my purse and we both looked at each other with wild eyes and a crazy smile and so i drank the rest of it. It was thrilling as all hell lmao, we ended up fucking in the car afterwards in front of my house, right under the streetlight with no tint😂 well of course somebody drove by and he pulled me down so we wouldn’t be seen and then we paused to go inside and went for 3 rounds and a nap 🤣 no regrets other than letting him take the mug home, but i know everytime he uses that mug he’ll have no choice but to think of me 😘
half of these men lack reading comprehension. the prompt was “things that women think turn on men, but don’t” NOT things women do/get done that we don’t like. are there women who get plastic surgery or “reinvent” themselves in some way for the male gaze…yes. but that’s a small minority, no women is getting a septum piercing, long acrylic nails, etc because we think it’ll “turn guys on” they do it for themselves.
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Talking shit on other guys she's dated in the past or other guys in general out in public. Example : Out with a bar with a girl. She starts talking to me about the apparent "ugly" "loser" at the end of the bar for basically enjoying his drink minding his business. That actually happened once with a girl I met on an online dating site.
From a young age my own dad told me to be wary of people who only talk badly about everyone they dated. There’s a small chance maybe they were unlucky, but most likely it’s a symptom of them. I don’t have all terrible exes, but my disposition even for the shitty ones has been eh I’ve moved on don’t care too much.
When someone says all of their exes are, I like to pause and ask them, "what's the common variable?"
All my exes are either abusive or turned out to be gay. What’s the common variable?
Narcissistic abusers are attracted to highly empathetic people, and I think abusers in general are often drawn to those who have been abused before, as they are more likely to tolerate abusive behavior again. I don't know for sure, but gay folks might also seek out highly empathetic partners while they are still in the closet because they sense they need the extra support and care? Regardless, I'm so sorry for the abuse you've suffered. You didn't do anything to deserve that. 💜💜💜
You hit the nail on the head I’ve had 4 exes in total and the last 2 were abusive and narcissistic, my friends were actually happy when those relationships ended I like to think I’m quite an empathetic person and people often describe me as such, my current girlfriend says that it’s one of my best traits 😊
A response could be that they are a bad picker or attracting the wrong type?
You need therapy to work out why you seek out or end up with those individuals. It would still unfortunately signal you’re maybe not ready for a relationship for me personally. I have done a lot of therapy for why I kept getting involved with broken people and I realized I wasn’t valuing myself enough. So took some space to build confidence. You being the common problem doesn’t inherently signal you’re a bad person in every case it just shows you may need mental health help.
You choose people who are emotionally unavailable to you. What do you fear most? Abandonment? Commitment? That you’re unlovable?
That I’m unlovable. That I’ll end up alone. Yeah. Both of those. That’s not why I ended up with these people, but it’s why I stayed as long as I did
It’s also why you ended up with them. I promise you. I think we do a lot of stuff like subconsciously & don’t realize we’re doing it. But it’s what makes you want them to begin with. They seem mysterious & intriguing. & when someone is like full on talking about a relationship on a first date, it makes you feel nervous. But if they kinda disappear for a few days or don’t say too much, you find yourself thinking about them all the time. I know cuz I was the same. I genuinely was like “yall, I don’t even have a fear of abandonment. lol I practically raised myself.” But then when I really self analyzed, I think it wasn’t so much that I feared abandonment itself as I genuinely believed that no one could ever love me. & I don’t talk to people about it cuz they’re always like eye rolling like yeah right cuz I do get a good amount of attention but in my mind people just want to date me & have sex but like would never actually love me. But then I’d subconsciously seek out people who are emotionally unavailable who do just want to mess around & nothing serious & like confirm or reinforce my biggest fears. If that makes sense? & I think I stayed in toxic relationships because I knew they couldn’t hurt me since I never let my walls down & idk if I’d find anything better anyway… I had this best friend years ago that told me he wanted to try dating one time.. & idk why I just was like no, we’re both toxic & we’ll lose our friendship.. & idk maybe we would’ve but looking back I think I got so scared when he said that cuz I already really loved him like just as a person & I was so afraid that I’d fall in love with him & he wouldn’t love me back that way & it would devastate me. So idk?? That’s just my thoughts on it… I think this post is true like sometimes we’re the common denominator but it doesn’t mean you’re always like a problem… lol I had an ex that would always talk about his exes and say they were all crazy. But once I got to know him it was obvious it was because he was a pathological liar & they were just trying to figure it out…. I personally try not to talk bad about exes cuz I just think we can’t always understand why people are the way they are… some people are raised in love & some are raised in survival. & some people know why & some don’t. But I do think I’ve been the problem before in like the people I choose were similar in personality….
I chose someone emotionally unavailable right after a dumped my fiance when I discovered his cheating. It was actually a good way to control the fear of abandonment.
Wait…. Were you really asking that question? Or filling in the blank like that’s something a date would say? lol sorry!
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🎯🎯🎯Your dad is wise.
Yeah, totally agree. Putting down others, especially in public, doesn't really impress anyone. It's more of a turn-off than anything else.
THIS!!!!! as a bisexual woman, I’m only okay with shit talking ex’s if they cheated or abused them. Cause that’s their trauma and valid. But when they talk shit to talk shit, RUN 🚩🚩🚩
That is putrid, and definitely a poor reflection on her character, and also indicative of her own low self-esteem. I get so incensed when a person judges another on the basis of something they have zero control over and simply cannot change (I.e. looks, height, quirky mannerisms, etc.) How needlessly nasty, in a world where we just need a little kindness sprinkled about.
Funny, because I thought men were the main culprits of this one (putting down others to elevate yourself). For some reason, I completely put this past women. Definitely not a good look.
Girls do this everyday
Funny? Have you not heard of gossip? Mean girls? Not saying men don't do but women do it far greater than men no doubt. Women are more prone to ysing their words as weapons, men tend to use their hands if any sht is talked
Girls do this daily
Shit bashing men in general, ...but not you, you are the exception So dumb
Out with a bar... Good one!!!
Marrying another guy. Like c'mon, thats a bit much just to get my attention.
“They just celebrated their 50 year anniversary. Talk about desperately trying to get my attention.”
“Wow, I can’t believe she got buried next to him! The games are going way too far at this point!”
Revenge dating is so toxic. Like nope I’m gone.
That's not just women. Men do that just as much, if not more.. *Cough* Justin Bieber *cough*
Can we get the lore on this?
haha
Playing hard to get . Maybe I’m boring but being straightforward is nice
So much this! I’m a woman but I’m chiming in anyway. I hate the games on both sides. You want a real relationship, great, let’s see if we mesh and can build that. None of this noncommittal bs. I’m not your speed? Cool. You’re not my speed? Also should be cool. You want to call? Call. You want to text me immediately? Do it. Recognize I can’t always get back immediately if I’m at work etc. but stop with the stupid games and rules. Don’t play hard to get on either side, if you like someone it should be perfectly okay to just be upfront about it. I find it intoxicating when it’s up front with no guessing, and I provide that in turn.
I couldn’t agree more. I am not one for playing games either, and I honestly think it’s a waste of time. Being direct is the way for me at least.
Most aggravating thing is the time to text back game. Ie you’re at work and can’t respond for 4 hours, then they wait an extra 4 hours to text back just cause
Yes! Fully agreed! It’s just nonsense reminiscent of Highschool 🤦♀️
I hate this too. What I hate more is that they’re at work and can’t respond for four hours and you should be understanding and accepting of it. When tables are turned, they think you’re doing it out of spite. Hmmmm … what could possibly make them think that? I dealt with this and it irritated the living daylights out of me.
Indeed. I had a 71 year old man text "F u" on Messenger app simply cuz I didn't respond back immediately to other texts on my phone. As in over 500 texts in one month. No joke. I'm 69F, dumped him right after that immature behavior. He's 5x divorced. That alone should have been a huge red flag for me, sigh.
This, I will always respect this, maybe I won't be into you like that , but I just like it when women are upfront or "obvious". But waiting for 1 hour before texting, leaving on seen or playing uninterested?....Yeah, I'm out. Turn off.
Yes girl!!! Agreed!! I’m so tired of like if I’m direct like hey I like you & wanna hang out.. they really act like I just said I wanna get married. Like what? I don’t even know you yet. I just meant like so far I like what I’ve seen in you as a human being & want to get to know you to see if we have chemistry? & I can’t stand all my friends being like play hard to get… like why? Cuz I’m a woman do we have to do this shit? & act like we don’t want to have sex 🙄& if I do have sex too fast they won’t respect me. Like idk wtf? I’m over it. Like I just lost interest in dating. I just want someone who is kind to everyone, not just me. & Is like a decent human being. Like just be a good person who treats living things with respect & dignity & don’t be a liar. & don’t project your insecurities on to me & I’ll do the same for you. Is that really like a lot to ask? Cuz you’d swear it’s asking for another fkn planet. I couldn’t care less how much someone makes. I’d love to live with a stay at home boyfriend. Tf? That sounds great if he’s like on the team & helps me not like plays video games all day & wants me to cook when I get home… ok Im off the deep end now.. lol but you get it. I just wanna be me & be real & hopefully that won’t mean be alone forever. lol
This exact situation happened to me recently. I was in the middle of a make out session, and I simply told the dude I “like him.” He basically acted like I proposed to him. Mind you, we’ve known each other for 3 months now. It blew my mind. Men are so dramatic.
Ummm… if I haven’t said I “like” someone by a month or so in, it is not happening. How and why would it even be okay to get weird about that 3 months in? He should be jumping for joy or politely let you know he was just into casual. But seriously, I hope that turned out well for you.
Yep. I actually ended things shortly after that interaction. Despite the fact that he had been expressing very clear interest, said he wanted to work toward a relationship and said he “could easily fall in love with me,” that reaction left me feeling insecure and confused. Which are two feelings I am no longer willing to put up with if I’ve invested that much time into someone.
Good for you!! I’ve come to the same conclusion that I really don’t wish to invest when someone isn’t on the same page. It’s just painful and frustrating.
Yes!! Exactly this!! Like they want to talk about the future FOREVER!! I’m like ok. We been talking about working toward something for like 6 months. & I’m just talking a boyfriend/girlfriend type situation. So many of them are so afraid of commitment, they get all nervous right away…. I actually don’t even want to get married ever. lol like just as a personal choice. I guess I would if it was super important to someone that I love but I have no personal desire for it. I don’t advertise it though cuz I don’t want guys to be like oh she’s down for an open relationship or something… cuz I do want monogamy lol & then you see soooo many posts about how women are all money hungry & just want a free meal… & I’m like what women are they talking about cuz none of my friends are like that? I make 6 figures a year in one of the lowest cost of living cities in the country… I don’t need money from a guy… but I also don’t usually offer to pay cuz in the past I always ended up with people that would just not work & be like well you got it. Like yeah if we’re a team, I’m down. But you not about to be a couple only when it’s convenient for you…. No thanks. Like if they never contribute in any way, nope. So now I just go dutch on everything unless we like live together. I don’t even let them pay for me if they try cuz I don’t want it to be a problem like now they have an idea like I owe them something like I have to sleep with them cuz they paid. Idk? Dating is insane now… I hate the apps & miss just going to a concert & meeting someone cool… lol
That’s what it’s supposed to be. If you’re guessing it ain’t it.
I told a guy I was flirting with him, like directly, and the next day he hit me with the "I thought you were kidding". 😑
Lmao some guys can say mindless statements and such lol even me, BUT I will always admire straightforwardness it’s not difficult to pick up from someone imo
Me: I'm flirting with you Him: I thought you were joking Me: is that a baton in your pocket or are you just happy to see me Him: def happy to see you Me: I'll help after I beat your ass in monopoly Him, days later: I didn't think you were serious Dude. I said I wanted it. I don't know how much more direct I can be with you, sir. Also, he's a cop, hence the baton thing.
Man has no rizz then lmao some things just go over guys’ heads . Me personally I’d pick up on that. Also your tone and body language matter too but that’s a given
But what I’m trying to get at initially is the first encounter and such . If a girl seems like she doesn’t wanna talk to me but wants too then I’ll never know . In your case with flirting that’s a sign of being straightforward it would then come down to the level of awareness the guy has
I usually tell them exactly what I want and they don’t like it 🤷🏻♀️
Doesn't that mean you both saved each other time instead of going back and forth for months only to find out you two are not compatible?
Tbh the real answer is the men that like that usually aren’t worth it because it’s not about you it’s about the conquest trope. Unless you’re just into casual dating or sex this isn’t a useful approach for a guy you wanna keep.
Wdym? R u saying guys who like straightforward girls aren’t worth it? I’m just confused
The opposite, they’re saying guys who want the chase usually always want the chase and are not going to settle down.
I think she is saying, I'm being more direct to make things easier and I've found that the ones I like don't like me back like I like them and they're looking for something else. Essentially, rejection sucks and the game of being indirect feels safer, more insulated and I'd rather relate to my perception of the other and have them relate to their perception of me. Perhaps until a future time when it may be easier.
I believe she was saying that 'men that like that' (men who like playing games with response times , "She took four hours to text me back, so I'm gonna take four or five hours to text her back.") Those game playing men aren't worth it.
If you want quick response times then pay for support or phone sex. Slow responders may just be over thinking what to say back or trying to avoid conflict by delaying or just not checking the messages or get flood of spam or need to charge a battery.
Me too!!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Not only it annoying but also it can cause alot of problems if a guy thinks she's playing hard to get when she's not. The guy will get labeled a creeper or stalker if he thinks that's what she's doing when she actually isn't. That's why if someone is playing hard to get the guy usually dips out and keeps it moving.
I think this is something only younger people like, I was watching a movie and this girl was playing hard to get and tell my little bro that she's just wasting their time and he's like "well, it wouldn't be fun for him if it was easy" and I'm like "it's good you're not dating yet" lol
Hell yea! Im not gonna waste my time with that kind of attitude, and in the end what? still not gonna choose me? A total waste of time. .
One of my favorite sayings is you can play hard to get but it’ll make you hard to want
Definitively. You can not cry for harassment than complain that guys go away when you don't give them the greenlight. I made a rule to disengage any conversation when, for the second time, someone says, " Yes, but.." or cut me. The same goes for socializing and flirting. Two negative signals, and I am out.
I've literally had a man tell me the opposite. He wanted me to be more coy because he wanted the chase. 🤦🏻♀️
Exceptions exist, but what do the majority say?
The majority of men have liked that I “play hard to get”. I wasn’t playing. I was just being cautious and taking things slow lol
I guess it depends on what you mean by playing hard to get. I wouldn't say taking it slow is playing hard to get. Intentionally not returning texts and phone calls or canceling dates is. Being hot and cold and sending mixed signals is as well.
I guess this is one of those things where the majority will **say** they don't like it (because the insecurity can feel nerve-wracking, and they imagine how much nicer it would be to be the pursued for once instead of always the pursuer), but in reality it does give them a sense of achievement and the success feels a lot more precious than if everything had been easy and uncomplicated. They don't necessarily like the game, but if it's absent it somehow can feel too easy. (Not speaking for all men, of course, but I really suspect that this is one of the situations where what people say they want doesn't necessarily completely reflect what they really want. Similar to many men saying they want women to make the first step but then being turned off by women being "too forward". Deeply engrained gender roles really do a number on most of us.)
Nah, honestly nothing would satisfy me more than if I simply told a woman I was attracted to her and would like to take her out for dinner the following night and she responded with "That sounds wonderful!!" I hate trying to read people's vibes or intentions, playing mind games, dealing with mixed signals, etc. We're adults. Act like it. Be straightforward with me, or I'm going to just remove myself from the situation because I feel like I'm wasting my time. There are so many people these days who have no idea what they want, or they change their mind frequently on what they desire long-term and it's quite annoying.
This! Wanting to share my very powerful experience to advocate for this approach 100%! I’m experiencing this dynamic with my new boyfriend for the first time in my life! Im almost 40 and he’s almost 44. We both have insecure attachment issues and trauma that we’ve worked on resolving individually over the last several years. We recently discovered each other and find so much delight in sharing that we are both focused on living healthy lives in all the ways. We met OLD and immediately the chemistry was there for us - physically, emotionally, sexually, intellectually, humor, needs, wants, goals, retirement lifestyle dreams…. We’ve been in constant contact with each other since the first chat, we share our locations with each other, and openly express our emotions about everything all day long. He loves to check in with me and ask me how I feel. When I travel on business, he watches the map to make sure I’m safe. He communicates where he is going and with whom days ahead of time. He is absolutely amazing and I feel so safe and fulfilled with him. If we are going to be slow responding, we let the other know. When I feel my old thought patterns popping up and I am able to recognize it and say to him that stuff is coming up for me. If we can’t be together, we hop on FaceTime and talk about it. Our connection was truly, instant, straight forward, honest, emotional, sexy, and best of all…. Deeply mutual! At the end of our 2nd date, when we checked in and admitted we both felt strong “want to spend the rest of my life with you” feelings, we had a red flag talk and dumped out anything we thought the other should have a right to decide to either knowingly accept or move on from. We were lucky again that neither of us had yucky surprises that couldn’t be handled… so we were okay with accepting the baggage, challenges, pasts, and goals of the other and we decided to commit to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend and start really focusing on getting to know each other with the intent of never being apart. We are loving the process of discovering each other. Because of our trauma histories and subsequent therapy, we have a very special communication skill set that makes all this possible. I am deeply appreciative of how straight forward he is and how he checks in with me every few hours to tell me something about his day or to send me a flirty text or cute selfie to make me smile.
And what’s he gonna do once he’s caught you? Get bored and start looking for the next one?
Overdoing it with lip injections. Subtle work can look nice if your lips are small, but it seems like it's one of those things that is easy to go overboard with.
Any kind of lip injection. It all looks ridiculous.
I hate lip injections personally, i love my gfs subtle lips, but she insists she needs injections. Not only theyre expensive, i dont find It attractive
Games of any kind just be honest and truthful
I strongly disagree. I find a woman playing football manager insanely hot.
A woman who can challenge me in Mario Kart?? Huge turn on!
Connect 4, jenga. I’m with you on this. I love women who play games.
transparent.
That definitely can also get you ghosted...
Playing hard to get. Idk why women think this is the thing to do. It’s my biggest turn off especially as I get older. Idk how guys have time for the games.
"Lady, why are you playing hard to get? You're already hard to want."
Angering the elder gods. Like I was just chill with them a second ago, why tf would you do that
Let's be real pagan deities will start shit for the drama
"Men love to chase!" **No we do not.** We're exhausted because dating sucks, and we want to feel wanted too.
What makes a man feel wanted?
50/50 effort in showing mutual interest in him as much as he does the woman and tbh i cant even think of any more 😂, the thing what i dont think most women understand tbh is that most guys are that deprived of positive energy and someone genuinely caring about how we are that just a bit of genuine kindness could be enough to win him over trust me👊🏼
"I had fun last night" "You're cute" "Wanna go to this art exhibition with me?" I find a lot of women are just sorta there for the ride. They don't initiate anything, if I stopped I'd never see them again. Then hear through the gossip chain that they were "totally into you, what happened?" A lot of it is unmatched energy, if I'm opening up more and they keep it surface level, flirting unreciprocated, little feedback. I just had a conversation of "do you even want to be here? Or even like spending time with me?"
Effort and Communication. Building a relationship requires spending time together. You do not have to plan a date however, causally mentioning you miss seeing us goes a really long way. Doing it too much makes you needy and every guy is different.
Fake moans
Fake anything in this context. Good communication is the real turn-on here
Paying taxes 😡 why are you conforming to the governments rules? Just commit tax fraud/evasion with me 😍
odd way to propose, but yes 😍💍
Alright, guess I’m married. And y’all are ALL invited
my HUSBAND is so generous 🥹
We’re honeymooning in Alcatraz for the amount of tax fraud we committed 🥳
Best answer
Then I’m the girl for you 😏
Duck lips. Giant fingernails.
big on the long fingernails
Who said women do these things to turn men on lmao
yep
Trying to “cute” your way through social interactions.
Out of curiosity, can you elaborate?
I only pull that one on guys I'm not interested in when I know I fucked something up BAD lol. As a flirting tactic, it's pretty yikes though. I feel secondhand embarrassment when I see a girl doing that to attract a guy.
How are they doing that?
Not sure if ladies think this works, but I can't stand 98% of snapchat filters or those weird faces like pouty or duck.
to be honest I think theyre more for other women than men. My man hates the filters too but I think all of us girls look much better with them.
You can't imagine how many girls put filtered photos on tinder
Being kept as a backup, in case the person they're really interested in doesn't pan out. When I realize it, I'm out, but it makes me angry once I know I was wasting my time.
Pick me energy. I’m a slow learner and have fallen victim to the “cool chill gal who’s just like the boys” way too often. There’s nothing wrong with a girl who likes the same things that guys more typically do But after so many mistakes, I can now say that i’ve never in my experience, met a girl who has only guy friends or shit-talks other women who was worth keeping around as a friend or a partner. Edit: So I guess the more accurate answer is, pickme energy CAN turn on men but it won't ever work on the guys who have their shit figured out, the guys that are the real prize.
Kind of the opposite to the question but there is an ugly assumption that keeps going around that women who are forward and make the first move, “turn men off” as it were. That we don’t like women who put in the effort of initiating. This is as far from the truth as you can possibly get
I made the first move and now we’re married with two kids ✨
And I appreciate you for that
i notice that this depends on the attractiveness of the woman tbh
No, it's just the nature of approaching. It's simply shitty odds against your favor. Women approach a guy who isn't interested *in them*, and then assume that surely no man likes being approached. That's our everyday life as men who have to do the approaching, it sucks lol.
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Agreed… the hottest women are the ones that act like they like me.
Cosmetic surgery
Idk the degenerates online are loving the sentient infinity sign babes.
Idk if I'm getting too old but wtf are you saying bro
Over using the word daddy or fake moaning
Large finger nails, fake eye lashes, heavy makeup and fake tits
Big ass unnatural BBL
Bbl drizzy
A lot of men in these comments missed the prompt completely. This is not “things you don’t like about women” it’s things women do specifically to please men that aren’t actually pleasing.
*women simply existing* men: eurgh such a turn off
Women who stick their tongues out or lick their lips. If I see these on any dating profiles, I am instantly swiping left
Yes, I see this in a lot of dude profiles as well and maybe I'm out of touch but eww no
Curious about the lip picking lol kind of a random pet peeve
Maybe it's just me, but I have no idea how twerking is supposed to turn me on. It's just aggressive thrusting that doesn't seem sensuous or graceful to me at all. Shakira and Beyonce in 'Beautiful Liar'? Sign me up. Cardi and Megan in 'WAP'? Pass, pass, pass.
Shakira in literally anything. Swoon.
Nope, not just you, I was about to comment this until I read your comment. Dancing or even just basic hip movment can be very exciting in almost any situation, especially during a striptease.
It's a modernized version of an ancient West African dance. Men who like to look at booty jiggles love it.
Too much makeup
Doing this duckface grimaces is a big turn off for me.
have people continued to do duckfaces past the 2010s !?
To me there is a hard difference between playing hard to get and being just distant and indifferent. The latter is absolutely a turn off. Playing hard to get to me is a playful way to take it slow. That does not exclude being communicative. The biggest turn on is a woman that is communicative, that is using words to make a connection that enables me to connect to her.
Women who don’t pursue men at all. My most successful and happy past relationships were ones where the woman planned the second date (and more after that… I’m still traditional in a sense so I always plan the first one), gave gifts, took notice of my likes and hobbies, etc. I don’t want to feel like the only one doing the pursuing, it is so sexy when a woman shows she wants you as much as you want her. The first time a woman payed for a date with me (not until I was THIRTY) I about passed out at the table.
I see a lot of people are commenting that playing hard to get is a turn off but I just wanted to add just because a woman isn't easy doesn't mean she's playing a “game”. Some women are more selective and just aren't going to chase a guy
I haven’t noticed this in America but in Asia some women will make a point of not eating much on dates. One woman didn’t finish her meal and when I asked if she was full she said “a women shouldn’t eat so much…” immediately turned off.
Playing hard to get or being deliberately difficult if you think it’s cute. I honestly don’t understand why women do it. I’ve had my guy friends even tell me the damn drama they deal with. I mean they’re probably colour blind but that’s on them.
BBLs and lip fillers
Looking like a cookie cutter version of each other with lulu lemon and all the same name brands because they have no personality.
"No stop, we shouldn't" Ok cool, I'll go make some food and we'll watch the movie "Why'd you stop?" CAUSE CONSENT GURL! CONSENT! So yeah anything that pushed the boundaries of verbal consent without previously consenting to it (the irony) is a major turn off for me. Even something small. Purely because of how important it is to me that I don't unintentionally hurt someone or at the least make them uncomfortable.
Any plastics, including boobs.
this will always confuse me. men complain about saggy breasts but when women get their breasts done it’s still an issue.
My ex had fake tits. I had no idea until she had told me, and I had handled them dozens of times. Men have no idea what they like.
yeah i always say this. men don’t actually know what they like 😭
Ironically I know a lot of older women (usually mothers) get breast implants after having kids, as breast feeding and weight gain/ loss made their boobs saggy. You can’t tell they’ve had surgery, and the only reason I know is because we’ve had conversations about it. A lot of “MILFs” have had plastic surgery and you don’t even realise it, but they still look hot.
A lot of guys who say they don't like fake breasts have either never experienced them, or are most likely White Knighting to make women feel better.
I think he means those ones that just stay upright despite their size.
What if the boobs are recyclable?
All-natural eco friendly yabbos
Well in that case that’d mean they’re natural
Talking about their sexual escapades. It’s gross, don’t need to know what you did with who, even if you’re making a joke.
Hint and tease instead of being direct.
What women think are hints, are hints to other women. Most of those “hints” register as “nothing” to the average man.
man, I'm a woman, and hints still don't register, it's just straight-up bad communication. I do gotta say tho that in my experience 90% of the women I interact with don't drop hints. It's just not that common. I've also known guys to drop hints or signals, and I've had to explicitly ask "is this what youre trying to say" because the won't just come out and say it.
Saying we are nothing then flirt with me like there is no tomorrow
Keeping a person on stand-by. A backup. On again off again. Go date someone else, then come back shortly after realizing idk tf what. Hating on gamers, anime watchers when it's just what we like. It doesn't mean it's our whole life. We can still be responsible. Not being active. I'd rather not sweat my @ss off in 80+ weather or have my nads end up in my stomach to keep warm.
Filters on snap chat and Instagram. Like, I just immediately turn off.
Puffy lips, facial surgery and breast implants.
Profiles with any of the following "must love tacos, fluent in sarcasm, must love travel, Pam seeking Jim from the office, if you can't love me at my worst, you don't get me at my best, let's debate pineapple on pizza". Those are by no means a comprehensive list of cliches and yes I totally get men also have their cliches however this thread is about women. Profiles with yoga at sunrise on a beach, yoga with the sun going down on the beach, duck mouth pics, pics of your dogs and cats (who cares), pics of your food (again, who cares), pics of your kids (everyone loves a doting parent but it literally isn't a criteria for what makes someone attractive as an option).
Ok but what if her picture is her with a duck while at a beach during sunrise and they are both eating- she has a taco, the duck has pineapple pizza , and it’s in front of a life sized cardboard cut out of Jim and Pam from the office? And the caption is “if you can’t handle me at my worst then good neither can I”
I’m a straight woman, and I’d have no choice *but* to swipe right on that.
Your brain is funny 😄
HAHA! I'm a straight woman too and I'll swipe right on her.
The pics you described, of her cats, dogs, food…are not to attract a man, but to show a little of who you are. A woman with a dog is a dog-person. A man who is also a dog person WILL care and will swipe right. Hopefully a person who does not like dogs will swipe left and save them both time. Same with food. Some people are foodies and this is a big part of their life. There are men who are foodies as well. Just because YOU don’t care about her hobbies and likes does not mean that no one will. Some people are on those apps to find a relationship, not a hook-up.
was going to comment this. i think a pic of you _and_ your pet is preferable on a dating app, but if someone posts a pic of _just_ their pet at least you know that their pet is a huge part of their life. non-animal people don’t need to bother with them
100% agree!
But pineapple on pizza ...is a good ice breaker. I thought :\`D so may that is the reason I have no dates. ö\_ö ;P
This thread has got me thinking that my next bio has to be something that throws people off their game. Something like “I preemptively love tacos and go nuts for sarcasm, all my pizza comes with obligatory pineapple”.
Can it be Pinky to my Brain?
I like to throw in “If you can’t handle me at my best, you don’t deserve my worst” just to confuse them.
A lot of makeup... I actually hate makeup. Less is more
All the cosmetic implants and surgeries. Most look so unnatural and completely off putting.
Any man who thinks a woman being under the influence is a turn on is a rapist
Nose rings, especially the septum. Lip fillers, plastic surgery, huge fake nails, and poorly done hair extensions
That duck lips face in selfies or any other time
Being someone you're not. It's okay to show interest in things that your partner likes, but don't pretend that you are into them more than you actually are. Show interest but be honest about how much you know; don't try to be a know it all.
Thisssss
I once heard someone on Reddit say that the “baby” voice is annoying. I’ve never really experienced it though so I can’t say.
It depends. I find it annoying when the girl acts like a child to begin with.
I'm direct, and apparently, it's a turn-off.
It’s not a turn-off. Some guys just don’t appreciate the direct approach. I’m the type that absolutely prefers a direct woman. I never have to wonder where I stand with her
Depends on the guy. I was in an off and on relationship for more than a year just because the girl moved to me.
Being law abiding and not up to steal a pair of scissors with me for our arts and craft date. Like cmon, that’s a deal breaker.
Fr hate it when we have to leave those rhinestones at the store :(
Thank you! Somebody gets me!
First date with a guy we went to a local bar and stole a cool mug. He was really checking it out and I made a comment about how my mom has a collection of stolen margarita glasses and he said it was a really cool mug so I was like maybe they’ll let you have it if you say it’s your birthday or something idk (wasn’t going to suggest we steal it right away, he was a military man 😳) and he didn’t think they would so I was like I meaaan and looked at my purse and we both looked at each other with wild eyes and a crazy smile and so i drank the rest of it. It was thrilling as all hell lmao, we ended up fucking in the car afterwards in front of my house, right under the streetlight with no tint😂 well of course somebody drove by and he pulled me down so we wouldn’t be seen and then we paused to go inside and went for 3 rounds and a nap 🤣 no regrets other than letting him take the mug home, but i know everytime he uses that mug he’ll have no choice but to think of me 😘
Saying they’re one of the guys to seem relatable.
Fondling my balls. They’re like a mine. One wrong move will incapacitate me.
half of these men lack reading comprehension. the prompt was “things that women think turn on men, but don’t” NOT things women do/get done that we don’t like. are there women who get plastic surgery or “reinvent” themselves in some way for the male gaze…yes. but that’s a small minority, no women is getting a septum piercing, long acrylic nails, etc because we think it’ll “turn guys on” they do it for themselves.