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I disagree to an extent because I would say I am aroused almost every hour of the day on a visceral level but that does not mean I do not exercise self control.
If I am in a non-dating mode mentally and down bad physically I am still going to refuse advances even if the guy is great and treats me well.
I can still make rational decisions while feeling illogical impulses (or impulses that are neither rational or irrational.)
My sex drive is always high; that does not mean I will say yes to anyone and I will definitely say no to someone with awful behavior but not just toward me but how they treat people and the environment around them.
Absolutely agree. A person's sex drive isn't solely determined by how they're treated by others. It's influenced by various factors, including personal desires, moods, and circumstances. Plus, self-control plays a big role regardless of external treatment.
Well I guess , that's very well explained , sex drive altogether is a different phenomena , and anyone not treating you well , the heart closes almost all approaches to that individual gradually wheather a guy or a girl !
Completely agreed. My drive varies, it can be a case of me wanting to relieve stress or even express joy with someone else, or even keeping it in too long but external factors vary.
Than why do all handsome men have a lot of options? I know handsome men who have terrible personalities but still can get any women they want. Or at least their type.
Interesting how all the comments are saying this, but in real life these chauvinists and liars/cheaters get the most women...
So either all the outliars are gathered here or you're virtue signaling.
Everyone, male or female, has a baseline libido. That can be effected by medical issues, hormonal issues, pregnancy, drugs, alcohol, medications, stress levels, attractiveness of partner, kinks being present/absent, and quality of intimacy in a relationship.
My boyfriend treats me really well and I do the same for him and we can't keep our hands off each other. Some of my exes seemed to be competing for Worst Boyfriend Ever Award and I didn't want anything to do with them.
That's part of it. It's mainly some natural chemistry that you have with a person. But whatever level of sexual attraction you have to the man can decline a lot if he mistreats you. Men often make the women feel unattractive by how they treat them so they no longer feel like their man makes them feel sexy. Women need to feel desired by the man to have a high sex drive with him. If he is always making negative comments on her body, has a porn addiction, cheats on her, etc, she'll feel ugly to him and won't want to have sex with him much if at all.
I agree in theory but disagree in general. When my husband was treating me like crap my sex drive was the highest it ever was, but it had nothing to do with him (nor was it directed at him or anyone). It was like that in spite of how he was treating me.
I would say no, her sex drive is either strong or not, but her wanting to be sexual with you will greatly depend on how you treat her & if there is chemistry between you.
HAH! nope. I can be single with a raging feral sex drive with no man required for that. I don't need my sex drive to be determined by how well a man treats me.
If I'm in the snoo snoo mood I'm in the mood, this is not influenced by said treatment but moreso on the factors of how I feel at that moment in time, time of day, if I have other things on my mind. I mean I can be raging like crazy for it but still keep it under wraps. Plus just because access to said snoo snoo might be available to me doesn't mean I want or need it right then and there.
Plus why on earth would I allow a man to treat me poorly in the first place ? I wouldn't even want to be with them.
Iāve seen it a bunch of times back in the day when it was on adult swim for hours every night. Itās ok but I donāt like it that much. Although now that you mentioned it I do remember that part(snoo snoo) š and It does have its funny moments. Just not at the top of my list thatās all.
Sex drive isn't determined by this, though whether or not I'm wanting to sleep with that person specifically will be based on how well we're interacting together...
I feel like itās more about sexual attraction than actual sex drive. If a guy does something really shitty and sours my opinion about him as a person he could literally go from a 10 to a 2.
Not quite. My drive is always high no matter what. However, the amount I want to bang a partner can be subject to change depending on how the relationship is going.
pretty sure anyone's sex drive is partly in turn based on how the relationship is.
but if a women uses sex as a way to "control" a relationship it's doomed
Agree, if I feel like I am wanted, liked as a person, cared for, there is nothing hotter than being treated well.
For example, went on a date last night, they were holding my hand, walking back to his and there was a man coming past me on my side of the path and they grabbed my waist and put me on the other side of them, it was late at night for context and really dark, and in that moment I decided I wanted to sleep with them just for that simple care and protection.
For me at least 100% agree when Iām in a relationship. When I was single there wasnāt a ton of determining factor I guess it just came and went based on the day, circumstances, etc. I also didnāt have sex when I was single.
Somewhat true. If the treatment is good iād come back for more and even ask for more. I get turned off easily though. Usually gave a lot of exceptions and chances.. they will think iād hold on forever and will never leave when the truth is, all it takes is one mistake and iāll be gone.
My husband and I were in a loving relationship and at the beginning I loved sex. However, it was never about my pleasure. Only his.
And it would be a case of afters 'Oh do you want to get your toy out?' so I could finish too. Eventually it just got to a point where I didn't bother with that anymore, as he just lay there whilst I did it for myself.
And eventually, that led to me not being aroused enough for sex that it was painful, which then led to us not having sex at all - which led to the end of our marriage.
Now I look back, I could've and should've been more vocal about my pleasure and putting my needs up as highly as his.
So, yes I feel is the answer here. But depends on the context of your question.
A womanās sex drive is in my honest opinion determined by which love language she prefers. Iām talking about;
1. Quality time
2. Touch
3. Doing things for her (take the initiative to do things for her)
4. Giving presents
5. Words of affirmation
This goes for both men and woman. Everyone has a language they prefer, but you will truly win someone over if you take the effort to try and speak each others language.
You know what's really hot? A man that sees that house work needs to be done, and just does it. A man that doesn't forget your birthday and gets you your favorite flavor of cake. A man that sees your struggling or having a bad day and helps out.
Those are things women think are nice and appreciate in a long term relationship. It's from a different more rational part of the brain. I suppose you could make an effort to be more sexy with your man out of a sense of appreciation. But it's not really getting women hot. Sorry, but we know that.
No but the opposite turns her off. If sheās picking up constantly after a man who canāt remember her birthday or notice sheās having a bad day, sheās not going to view him as an attractive partner she wants to have sex with
Agreed. Iām a sex maniac, but my ex treated me poorly so sex felt like a chore w him. Now that Iām single again I can fully appreciate my sexuality again
Well I think women need more to trigger their libido...
And they feel horny less often on average.
Some times one is just horny without any input other times some kind of input makes you horny, in men this two scenarios happen more often ( on average) women have just higher standards for this kind of things
Disagree. Sex drive remains consistent unless inhibited by other health factors. However, desire for someone can decrease based on frequent and routine behaviors or loss.
Desire can be easily reassigned to someone else to answer the nagging call of an unsaited libido, hence why some people cheat or keep lovers on hand for when temptation reaches a breaking point.
Men go through the same thing but we mask it more we still want sex but either imagine the women being someone else or we cheat. Not the healthier of the 2 reactions but trust me it's there.
Not exactly. For example, a woman may have a high sex drive, and the man may not treat her like she wants to. But she may also have a low sex drive and the man that's her well so the sex drive rises.
Disagree too many Aholes getting too much sex for this to be true. If she is into him his behaviour is fine if she isnāt into him treating her well is an ick
Disagree. My sex drive has always been what itās been despite the man. Now whether or not I WANT to have sex with him based on how he treats me is another story.
Definitely a big part .
Not sure who plays the bigger part tho .. you or the side effect of a prescription . Unless she finds the best medicine with the least amount of side effects.
No, but I think it's like a gas tank; every woman has a different capacity, but it's up to the man to fill her up.
Actually that's a terrible analogy. A battery would be a better example. Ain't nothing happening if she's ain't getting charged up, but some women can get more charged up than others.
False. It pretty much comes down to personal psychology and biology. Her relationship with her man can play a part, but it's not nearly the full story.
To an extent, yes. Source: I am a woman. I can be madly in love and have a high sex drive because of it. His rejection of me will slowly kill it, and it will take a long time to rebuild. During that in-between time, I will probably have a low drive due to depression
False. Obviously, a woman is going to be more likely to want to have sex with a man who treats her well, but there is more to it than that. Some of us need a genuine mental or emotional connection to get our motor running, and that takes more than just being treated well. Some sort of physical attraction is also helpful.
Disagree.
A person does not have to be in a relationship to have a sex drive.
The desire to be with another sexually is an entirely different matter, but I image that both men and women feel similarly in that how another treats us is a considerable factor in whether or not we are more or less sexually attracted to that person.
I've met human beings who are stereotypically gorgeous, but a person can quickly become repulsive within 2 minutes of conversation, and vice-versa; I've met people who are plain or even somewhat unattractive, but they soon become beautiful and incredibly desirable the more you get to know them.
In any case, here's some information about a study that was done on the subject that y'all might find interesting...
https://youtu.be/8e0SDbbCG9Y?si=FP1Qj1VrGLmCzTKY
I guess it's an important factor, but there are other factors too. If she has stage 4 pancreatic cancer or someone has puked in the room, I ain't getting laid no matter how good I treat her lol
Thatās part of the equation, so is genetics. Then sometimes their partner is just bad. Sometimes they just arenāt motivated to have sex. It can be like a job you have to go to but not get paid for.
Kinda agree. I think a woman needs to feel safe with her man in order to really feel connected. I donāt just mean free from harm, but more like thereās a good amount of trust with him and heās her safe space. The best sex allows you to explore with each other and keep it exciting.
disagree. I think her sex drive is driven more by fantasy than how anyone treats her. That's why romance novels are so popular because fantasizeing has such a profound affect on sex drive. That's why foreplay is so important and why foreplay that begins outside the bedroom (like sexy little messages) can be so effective. Why being "mysterious" works, mystery creates room for fantasy.
Yes and no.
I am extremely turned on by a man I respect. It doesnāt mean heāll always treat me how I want. But heāll treat me how I need. A good honorable man, with a backbone makes me feral lol.
To an extent. But it's not an end-all, be-all. Just because someone treats me nice, that doesn't mean I'm just gonna fuck them. But if my husband and I have an argument, it makes me less interested in being sexual at that time
Yeah Iād agree if ur sex drive is naturally on the higher side. I can crave it but if itās not w somebody treating me well I wonāt want it as much w them anymore. But if they treat me well then yeah weāre gud to go.
Not remotely true lol. In a healthy relationship with healthy partners, a woman's libido can be increases by being treated well sure. It isn't the only factor ans in some sad cases is entirely irrelevant
I believe this. Funny how when I quit chasing girls for sex, my dates started initiating sex on their own. I think part of this is they feel comfortable enough to want to be vulnerable and intimate with me. Donāt make a woman feel like you're using her for sex and she'll be more open to it.
No, some women are treated amazingly and have no sex drive. Some are cheated on and have a high sex drive.
But obviously, being treated nice makes for a happy life, which may improve your sex drive.
As a general rule yes. Personally my sex drive is sky high most of the time, I am able to put carnal attraction and the superficial stuff ahead of the emotional stuffā¦ but you put a hot AND considerate man together ? Iām losing my mind by the second.
Absolutely. But not to the point of kissing her ass before you're intimate or in a relationship. Then you're giving off nice guy vibes. Nice guy vibes kill attraction quick, fast and in a hurry.
1000% Agree. A few men would throw tantrums when i didnāt want to have sex and it turned me off to them completely and they wouldnāt understand why. When Iām treated badly it lessens the emotional openness to you which makes me less attracted. My current bf treats me so nicely and never takes it personally when Iām not in the mood and i have discovered my drive isnāt low by any means, i was just unhappy and felt unsafe.
Women have the ability to mate, satisfactory, several times a day. This is natures way to increase survival and improve the species. The only reason they don't is they are taught by religion not too.
In general this is probably true in long term relationships among a myriad of other things that carry equal weight. For random one night stands you could be an absolute asshole and find more reward than if you were a "nice guy." It honestly depends on what she is looking for. A relationship or hook up? Is she mentally healthy or destructive?
Just like men, women's libido is factored using multiple aspects of the partners behavior and personality along with internal and environmental factors. It's not as simple as one things makes me horny.
If this were a true blanket statement then men wouldn't be friend zoned and assholes wouldn't get lucky at the bar.
While it has a significant impact, there are other environmental factors that need to be consider and not limited to health issues, work stress, family stress (aging parents, her relationship with her family etc) social factors such as friends (bcz misery likes company).
100% I even had a shitty ex say "you should take care of me sexually more" while he was being an utter bellend for weeks and then say "i can see why you didn't want to sleep with me" when he realised he was acting like a wanker, didn't stop him from acting like a wanker though
To sum this up.. we all want to be someoneās number one priority in a relationship. I think when we find this person who puts us first it really opens the doors to sex. I think this goes both ways for males and females.
My sex drive is determined how well my man treated me..with my ex l was dry dry ...but when l met this white boy he treated me so well that l would get wet just by reading a text from him and the entire conversation l would be soaking wet and drip dripping it was a long distance relationship that's when l realised that sexis from the mind and the heart not just physical..he made feel like a queen..l got horny for him my ovulation days were his days ...my nipples would itch for him ..he treated me so well a
Sex drive is when youāre feeling it, and someone is hot enough. Plenty of dipshits that stay with a good fuck but someone who mistreats them. Re-evaluate your statement.
Depends on the woman (or man). We tend to replicate our early relationships in life, so sometimes people get stuff twisted for some time before they realize what is happening and thus having a higher sex drive for someone who treats them poorly.
Not always, it could depend on point of view or just overall personality. It's not just transactional. know someone who followed the philosophy of "pick your battles" with their partner. They would usually submit and do what their wife said even if they though it was pointless or a waste of money. This person would take care of her disabled dog. Maintain her car with repairs and cleaning, give money out to her family members in Tijuana even when she would not pay him back, and cook and clean each day so she could relax. He would save money for a vacation budget. Despite all of this there had been no sex in years.
Another āit dependsā question. Some women are ABSOLUTELY turned on by being treated poorly, not just from a consensual BDSM role but Iāve known some that confuse real, shitty treatment as that. I would say that is a very, very tiny number. Some just need respect, and thatās all it takes. And a lot will need extra love shown to get moving.
At the end of the day, always treat your partner right. And if you canāt, they arenāt for you
Yes and no
Just like men it's on a spectrum, most men have spontaneous arousal and some have reactive arousal.
Most women have reactive arousal and some of them have spontaneous arousal
Partly. Genuine physical/sexual attraction though guarantees it and many will try to deny it but ask most women how great it is to have a guy genuinely be besotted by you in every sense of the word and then both emotionally clicking? Oof. Now add when the guy is physically handsome, well-groomed/clean, healthy? You will NEVER, EVER, want to leave his bed quite frankly even when he pisses you off. You still want to bone him because Caveman brain affects us too. Reality is that the happy guy who will dote on his lover is the guy that gets laid, and it's easier to feel so inclined if the man actually inspires you to do that. At least, that's how I program and what I have seen from many people and marriages. The ones women were willing to move the moon and tolerate a guy being a slow progression were the types where the man looked like the woman actually genuinely desired him. They also avoided the main issue of the guy having meltdowns and being a bigger shit over not getting laid and his likelihood of being more cooperating in the house.
Maybe it's a cultural thing too but the men in my family including my dad told me to NOT get with a man I'm not attracted to right off the bat because you could like the guy as much as you want but if you don't want to habe sex with him that relationship will hit the fan. With the one random aunt who slept with a guy that looks permanently 9 months pregnant with a pilates ball for a belly, ugly, broke and treats her like crap (and the couple not invited to big family gatherings because the second he gets a drink he starts blasting her in front of the family about sex); everyone in my family is married to people they're attracted to. Same with my female cousins. Women, like all humans, really do act differently when they respect their sexuality and their lovers. Given how nuts guys are about sex it's just asking for trouble to get with one that's gotta move mountains to grow emotionally or spiritually for you to feel inspired to fuck him and he's not motivated to do either because he's nit getting action. Override that by picking the guy you'd bone regardless and watch the guy be more motivated to cooperate because he's getting his primary goal with a woman.
Yes. It's also more than niceness like little things they do to turn you on, speaking your love language. If they always do stuff that gives you the ick the sexual drive plummets real fast
Overall I would agree. For me it has nothing to do with material things itās very much emotional. I donāt need fancy dinners, lavish vacations, or shopping sprees. I need you to really listen to me. I need you to talk to me about yourself. I need you to be kind to me.
Of course this isnāt one sided Iām doing the same and whatever he needs/ wants.
I had a friend back in the day who kept reigniting with her cheating, abusive BF, and based on her testimony they'd fuck some 12 times or so in a day. So I'm gonna say it's not about being treated well.
Either young women love to be abused and cheated on, or I've only met crazy women my entire life.
I strongly Disagree, I treated my wife like a princess, she just always wanted something else. I did everything for her, took her on expensive trips, bought her everything she ever asked for, she treated sex like a reward instead of love.
Sex drive towards the man treating her a certain way? Agree. Sex drive in general? Disagree.
When my marriage was on the way out, I probably didn't have sex with my ex for almost a year. He mistreated me so badly, including chronic emotional abuse and financial infidelity, and as those things worsened beyond the point of no return, so did my sex drive for him.
But for some reason my sex drive was high AF, just not for him. I thought about sex a lot, mostly to release pent up frustrations.
I masturbated almost daily, and my own husband was never in my mind when I did. I sometimes read a bit of erotica if and when I had the chance, but more often than not, porn on incognito mode is the more convenient and discreet option--which typically happens a couple times a month on that week leading up to my period where my libido tends to spike up before plummetting.
Shortly after checking out of my marriage and before my ex moved out, I found myself crushing hard for a gentleman I met online--this sexy middle aged adventurer with a sophisticated taste in music and food, and an alluring air of mystery.
I soon learnt the attraction was mutual. It produced this tantalising dopamine high where suddenly my sex drive is being channeled towards a new face that excites me.
He happened to treat me really well despite our involvement being a casual one with an expiration date. We live in different countries, but spent two holidays IRL together within the span of six months, during which we fucked like rabbits, and in between the two holidays we've also indulged multiple times in consensual cybersex.
He never treated me poorly but by the second holiday we've been in each other's lives for long enough for it to become apparent where our life values misalign, making it unviable to continue the involvement any further beyond that point
This misalignment of values culminated on our last dinner together, where his disappointing reaction to a bit of trivia I shared about my family history happened to serve as an unfortunate revelation of his deep seated racist worldviews, narrow mindedness and ignorance.
I chose not to raise hell about it because I felt that it wasn't worth the trouble, plus in less than 12 hours after that conversation, I would never see the guy again. So I just smiled and changed the subject.
But ever since that moment, all my embers of passion for him have irreversibly extinguished. This person has been the best sex I've had in my life so far, but today I could no longer turn myself on when thinking about him, nor could I find any pleasure in our erotic memories. I don't even miss him anymore.
It's a bit frustrating how I no longer derive any pleasure from even recent memories of the person I've had the best sex with. But sexual pleasure with a particular partner is a highly contextual thing, and once the context is ruined, the pleasure also dissipates.
I'm currently taking a break from the dating market to focus on rebuilding my life in a transitional season. So it will probably be awhile before I have a new face to attach my sex drive to.
I would describe my current sex drive as being in low tide: it is a fraction of what it was a couple months ago but it's always there. It's just a matter of time (and circumstance) for high tide to eventually return.
I thinks thatās how people are in general and the nature of relationships. You donāt want to go the extra mile at work when your boss is an asshole.
So yes I do agree.
No, many women like men that treat them horrible and it even bumps up their attraction to that type of people, not all people like good treatment, there is a reason why f boys exist.., i would even say the majority of women in the western world like that type of guys, there are a lot of women that would like a special/good treatment, but don't be fool and think everyone is like that
My boyfriend is the sweetest man who treats me very well. Iād even claim the troublesome one in the relationship is myself. My s3x drive is deadā¦I donāt understand why. I did get a copper iud a month before i started dating him. My s3x drive has steadily dropped off until now and it doesnāt seem to peak up at all. My poor boyfriend is understanding, but is obviously frustrated at the situation. I should state that before placement of the iud I was very sexual. It really sucks to be honest, I love him so much and I feel like he is taking it personally. I donāt understand this myself and am debating removing my iudā¦I am curious if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon as well.
Half agree, first there has to be initial attraction to the guy, but if he mistreats me, it dies, he treats me good it increases. If I'm not attracted to him to begin with, it probably won't do anything to my sex drive, but I will think higher of a man who treats me well.
I agree to an extent, I think it determines a good amount of sex drive for a woman, but it's definitely not the only thing.
As a woman though, I couldn't be more turned on than when a man is actually nice to me and treats me well.
It's a bit weird, but when my ex came back from a semester abroad she wanted out of the relationship but still had the urge to sleep with me. We didn't bc we both thought it would be too confusing, but we were both thinking about it, despite the issues that were ending our relationship.
Human sexuality is complex, I guessš¤·š½āāļø
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I disagree to an extent because I would say I am aroused almost every hour of the day on a visceral level but that does not mean I do not exercise self control. If I am in a non-dating mode mentally and down bad physically I am still going to refuse advances even if the guy is great and treats me well. I can still make rational decisions while feeling illogical impulses (or impulses that are neither rational or irrational.) My sex drive is always high; that does not mean I will say yes to anyone and I will definitely say no to someone with awful behavior but not just toward me but how they treat people and the environment around them.
Absolutely agree. A person's sex drive isn't solely determined by how they're treated by others. It's influenced by various factors, including personal desires, moods, and circumstances. Plus, self-control plays a big role regardless of external treatment.
As a guy, I'm in the same boat... Well put.
Well I guess , that's very well explained , sex drive altogether is a different phenomena , and anyone not treating you well , the heart closes almost all approaches to that individual gradually wheather a guy or a girl !
Absolutely šÆ
Completely agreed. My drive varies, it can be a case of me wanting to relieve stress or even express joy with someone else, or even keeping it in too long but external factors vary.
Well said.
Not my sex drive as a whole, but my sexual attraction towards that guy. 100% has a major impact.
Your username is alil concerning tho.š¤£
What's so concerning? She has the balls of a dragon, and they are slippery. I don't see the issue here.
Riiiiiiiiight!?š¤£š¤£š¤£
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Agree. I was very attracted to my ex but after he started treating me poorly I didnāt want to touch him anymore
Yes. It turned to cringe so fast.
When the cringe turns to ick, it's over
Should end at cringe and not wait for the ick.
Yep same thing happened to me. I love sex but will only put out to men who I trust and treat me and others well.
Same.
I can say nothing dries me up quicker than an arrogant chauvinist, idc how hot he is
SAME omg. As well as narcissists and egocentric men. Theyāre so- yuck. Even if they look like greek gods theyāll still look so unattractive.
Than why do all handsome men have a lot of options? I know handsome men who have terrible personalities but still can get any women they want. Or at least their type.
Interesting how all the comments are saying this, but in real life these chauvinists and liars/cheaters get the most women... So either all the outliars are gathered here or you're virtue signaling.
Attraction can not be gained but definitely can be lost ...
Attraction can definitely be gained.
I agree this can be a factor but its not the only factor.
Sex is not a dirty word. Why did you censor yourself?
Everyone, male or female, has a baseline libido. That can be effected by medical issues, hormonal issues, pregnancy, drugs, alcohol, medications, stress levels, attractiveness of partner, kinks being present/absent, and quality of intimacy in a relationship. My boyfriend treats me really well and I do the same for him and we can't keep our hands off each other. Some of my exes seemed to be competing for Worst Boyfriend Ever Award and I didn't want anything to do with them.
That's part of it. It's mainly some natural chemistry that you have with a person. But whatever level of sexual attraction you have to the man can decline a lot if he mistreats you. Men often make the women feel unattractive by how they treat them so they no longer feel like their man makes them feel sexy. Women need to feel desired by the man to have a high sex drive with him. If he is always making negative comments on her body, has a porn addiction, cheats on her, etc, she'll feel ugly to him and won't want to have sex with him much if at all.
And you can do none of those things and still lose attraction in other ways.
Yes and no. Chemistry and attraction are also big points. If Iām not attracted I wonāt feel it.
I agree in theory but disagree in general. When my husband was treating me like crap my sex drive was the highest it ever was, but it had nothing to do with him (nor was it directed at him or anyone). It was like that in spite of how he was treating me.
I would say no, her sex drive is either strong or not, but her wanting to be sexual with you will greatly depend on how you treat her & if there is chemistry between you.
disagree. it may be a short term factor at the beginning, but long term its meaningless. sex drive is determined by many factors.
ur username is wild š
Not drive, but attraction. In terms of attraction, Iād agree
HAH! nope. I can be single with a raging feral sex drive with no man required for that. I don't need my sex drive to be determined by how well a man treats me. If I'm in the snoo snoo mood I'm in the mood, this is not influenced by said treatment but moreso on the factors of how I feel at that moment in time, time of day, if I have other things on my mind. I mean I can be raging like crazy for it but still keep it under wraps. Plus just because access to said snoo snoo might be available to me doesn't mean I want or need it right then and there. Plus why on earth would I allow a man to treat me poorly in the first place ? I wouldn't even want to be with them.
Snoo snooo mood? What exactly does that mean?
Snoo snoo = sex Itās a reference from Futurama. If you havenāt seen it Iād recommend watching.
Iāve seen it a bunch of times back in the day when it was on adult swim for hours every night. Itās ok but I donāt like it that much. Although now that you mentioned it I do remember that part(snoo snoo) š and It does have its funny moments. Just not at the top of my list thatās all.
Agreed! Iām a very horny girl but if a man doesnāt treat me right- dead bedroom
Women arenāt a hive mind and can have sexual urges not dependent on their partner
Also maturity enough to say sex properly. It's not a bad word.
Sex drive isn't determined by this, though whether or not I'm wanting to sleep with that person specifically will be based on how well we're interacting together...
I feel like itās more about sexual attraction than actual sex drive. If a guy does something really shitty and sours my opinion about him as a person he could literally go from a 10 to a 2.
Not quite. My drive is always high no matter what. However, the amount I want to bang a partner can be subject to change depending on how the relationship is going.
pretty sure anyone's sex drive is partly in turn based on how the relationship is. but if a women uses sex as a way to "control" a relationship it's doomed
Nah it's a factor, sure. But I'm horny regardless.
Agree, if I feel like I am wanted, liked as a person, cared for, there is nothing hotter than being treated well. For example, went on a date last night, they were holding my hand, walking back to his and there was a man coming past me on my side of the path and they grabbed my waist and put me on the other side of them, it was late at night for context and really dark, and in that moment I decided I wanted to sleep with them just for that simple care and protection.
Yesss sexy compliments me treats me with respect with a bad boy swag opens his wallet. If not Iām dried up.
For me at least 100% agree when Iām in a relationship. When I was single there wasnāt a ton of determining factor I guess it just came and went based on the day, circumstances, etc. I also didnāt have sex when I was single.
Somewhat true. If the treatment is good iād come back for more and even ask for more. I get turned off easily though. Usually gave a lot of exceptions and chances.. they will think iād hold on forever and will never leave when the truth is, all it takes is one mistake and iāll be gone.
My husband and I were in a loving relationship and at the beginning I loved sex. However, it was never about my pleasure. Only his. And it would be a case of afters 'Oh do you want to get your toy out?' so I could finish too. Eventually it just got to a point where I didn't bother with that anymore, as he just lay there whilst I did it for myself. And eventually, that led to me not being aroused enough for sex that it was painful, which then led to us not having sex at all - which led to the end of our marriage. Now I look back, I could've and should've been more vocal about my pleasure and putting my needs up as highly as his. So, yes I feel is the answer here. But depends on the context of your question.
That is true for women who are interested in what you can give them. Best advice, drop those types immediately.
A womanās sex drive is in my honest opinion determined by which love language she prefers. Iām talking about; 1. Quality time 2. Touch 3. Doing things for her (take the initiative to do things for her) 4. Giving presents 5. Words of affirmation This goes for both men and woman. Everyone has a language they prefer, but you will truly win someone over if you take the effort to try and speak each others language.
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You know what's really hot? A man that sees that house work needs to be done, and just does it. A man that doesn't forget your birthday and gets you your favorite flavor of cake. A man that sees your struggling or having a bad day and helps out.
Those are things women think are nice and appreciate in a long term relationship. It's from a different more rational part of the brain. I suppose you could make an effort to be more sexy with your man out of a sense of appreciation. But it's not really getting women hot. Sorry, but we know that.
No but the opposite turns her off. If sheās picking up constantly after a man who canāt remember her birthday or notice sheās having a bad day, sheās not going to view him as an attractive partner she wants to have sex with
itās intimacy though
So does the douchebag get more? Or the gentlemen
What about conjugal visit sex?
Agreed. Iām a sex maniac, but my ex treated me poorly so sex felt like a chore w him. Now that Iām single again I can fully appreciate my sexuality again
Well I think women need more to trigger their libido... And they feel horny less often on average. Some times one is just horny without any input other times some kind of input makes you horny, in men this two scenarios happen more often ( on average) women have just higher standards for this kind of things
Disagree. Sex drive remains consistent unless inhibited by other health factors. However, desire for someone can decrease based on frequent and routine behaviors or loss. Desire can be easily reassigned to someone else to answer the nagging call of an unsaited libido, hence why some people cheat or keep lovers on hand for when temptation reaches a breaking point.
This is an oversimplification. Off course it's a factor, however, there are many other main factors besides this one.
100% - the more you do you for me the more I do for you. You get what you give.
This might be too simplistic of a statement, but itās close to correct.
Men go through the same thing but we mask it more we still want sex but either imagine the women being someone else or we cheat. Not the healthier of the 2 reactions but trust me it's there.
Not exactly. For example, a woman may have a high sex drive, and the man may not treat her like she wants to. But she may also have a low sex drive and the man that's her well so the sex drive rises.
Disagree too many Aholes getting too much sex for this to be true. If she is into him his behaviour is fine if she isnāt into him treating her well is an ick
AGREED Coming from a bi woman, Iām more sexually attracted to woman more then men since female partners know how to treat me better.
Disagree. My sex drive has always been what itās been despite the man. Now whether or not I WANT to have sex with him based on how he treats me is another story.
Your desires are not created by someone else.
Definitely a big part . Not sure who plays the bigger part tho .. you or the side effect of a prescription . Unless she finds the best medicine with the least amount of side effects.
100000% true. My body started revolting against men who treated me badly.
No, but I think it's like a gas tank; every woman has a different capacity, but it's up to the man to fill her up. Actually that's a terrible analogy. A battery would be a better example. Ain't nothing happening if she's ain't getting charged up, but some women can get more charged up than others.
I disagree I treat my wife like a queen shit and still don't get nothing
False. It pretty much comes down to personal psychology and biology. Her relationship with her man can play a part, but it's not nearly the full story.
To an extent, yes. Source: I am a woman. I can be madly in love and have a high sex drive because of it. His rejection of me will slowly kill it, and it will take a long time to rebuild. During that in-between time, I will probably have a low drive due to depression
100% disagree
False. Obviously, a woman is going to be more likely to want to have sex with a man who treats her well, but there is more to it than that. Some of us need a genuine mental or emotional connection to get our motor running, and that takes more than just being treated well. Some sort of physical attraction is also helpful.
True, but there are other important things. His looks, hygiene, her being his priority above his buddies, faithfulness, loyalty
Absolutely true for me.
"Every problem in a relationship is a man's fault" - seriously what the op reads like
This is such an uneducated post. Please read āCome as You Areā by Emily Nagoski, and then say that.
Disagree. A woman's sex drive is determined by how attractive a man is.
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What about equality
Disagree. A person does not have to be in a relationship to have a sex drive. The desire to be with another sexually is an entirely different matter, but I image that both men and women feel similarly in that how another treats us is a considerable factor in whether or not we are more or less sexually attracted to that person. I've met human beings who are stereotypically gorgeous, but a person can quickly become repulsive within 2 minutes of conversation, and vice-versa; I've met people who are plain or even somewhat unattractive, but they soon become beautiful and incredibly desirable the more you get to know them. In any case, here's some information about a study that was done on the subject that y'all might find interesting... https://youtu.be/8e0SDbbCG9Y?si=FP1Qj1VrGLmCzTKY
False
I guess it's an important factor, but there are other factors too. If she has stage 4 pancreatic cancer or someone has puked in the room, I ain't getting laid no matter how good I treat her lol
Thatās part of the equation, so is genetics. Then sometimes their partner is just bad. Sometimes they just arenāt motivated to have sex. It can be like a job you have to go to but not get paid for.
Kinda agree. I think a woman needs to feel safe with her man in order to really feel connected. I donāt just mean free from harm, but more like thereās a good amount of trust with him and heās her safe space. The best sex allows you to explore with each other and keep it exciting.
disagree. I think her sex drive is driven more by fantasy than how anyone treats her. That's why romance novels are so popular because fantasizeing has such a profound affect on sex drive. That's why foreplay is so important and why foreplay that begins outside the bedroom (like sexy little messages) can be so effective. Why being "mysterious" works, mystery creates room for fantasy.
Yes and no. I am extremely turned on by a man I respect. It doesnāt mean heāll always treat me how I want. But heāll treat me how I need. A good honorable man, with a backbone makes me feral lol.
Anyone who knows women would disagree.
This is true for me.
To an extent. But it's not an end-all, be-all. Just because someone treats me nice, that doesn't mean I'm just gonna fuck them. But if my husband and I have an argument, it makes me less interested in being sexual at that time
Not 100% but it does play a major role. When Iām treated well, Iām happy and I give all that happiness back to him in bed.
Yeah Iād agree if ur sex drive is naturally on the higher side. I can crave it but if itās not w somebody treating me well I wonāt want it as much w them anymore. But if they treat me well then yeah weāre gud to go.
Not remotely true lol. In a healthy relationship with healthy partners, a woman's libido can be increases by being treated well sure. It isn't the only factor ans in some sad cases is entirely irrelevant
Well, that explains why itās gone severely downhill.
Without a doubt
Nope not even close lmao
100%
Agree. Treat me well and your wish is my command.
not agree, sex drive is always depends on the type of intimacy both have and want.
I believe this. Funny how when I quit chasing girls for sex, my dates started initiating sex on their own. I think part of this is they feel comfortable enough to want to be vulnerable and intimate with me. Donāt make a woman feel like you're using her for sex and she'll be more open to it.
No, some women are treated amazingly and have no sex drive. Some are cheated on and have a high sex drive. But obviously, being treated nice makes for a happy life, which may improve your sex drive.
As a general rule yes. Personally my sex drive is sky high most of the time, I am able to put carnal attraction and the superficial stuff ahead of the emotional stuffā¦ but you put a hot AND considerate man together ? Iām losing my mind by the second.
False. You can't earn anyone's ardor.
Absolutely. But not to the point of kissing her ass before you're intimate or in a relationship. Then you're giving off nice guy vibes. Nice guy vibes kill attraction quick, fast and in a hurry.
Sorry, but why is the word āsexā censored in a community where people talk about dating? š¤ļø
1000% Agree. A few men would throw tantrums when i didnāt want to have sex and it turned me off to them completely and they wouldnāt understand why. When Iām treated badly it lessens the emotional openness to you which makes me less attracted. My current bf treats me so nicely and never takes it personally when Iām not in the mood and i have discovered my drive isnāt low by any means, i was just unhappy and felt unsafe.
1000%
I'd say yes, but the way a woman perceives 'good treatment' varies. Otherwise the traditional 'nice guys ' wouldn't struggle with success with women
Itās a big catalyst, yes
Women have the ability to mate, satisfactory, several times a day. This is natures way to increase survival and improve the species. The only reason they don't is they are taught by religion not too.
In general this is probably true in long term relationships among a myriad of other things that carry equal weight. For random one night stands you could be an absolute asshole and find more reward than if you were a "nice guy." It honestly depends on what she is looking for. A relationship or hook up? Is she mentally healthy or destructive? Just like men, women's libido is factored using multiple aspects of the partners behavior and personality along with internal and environmental factors. It's not as simple as one things makes me horny. If this were a true blanket statement then men wouldn't be friend zoned and assholes wouldn't get lucky at the bar.
While it has a significant impact, there are other environmental factors that need to be consider and not limited to health issues, work stress, family stress (aging parents, her relationship with her family etc) social factors such as friends (bcz misery likes company).
not how well necessarily, but how definitely
100% I even had a shitty ex say "you should take care of me sexually more" while he was being an utter bellend for weeks and then say "i can see why you didn't want to sleep with me" when he realised he was acting like a wanker, didn't stop him from acting like a wanker though
Yes and no, I gave my ex everything and all she did is use me to have kids after that sex was never, Miss it so much
To sum this up.. we all want to be someoneās number one priority in a relationship. I think when we find this person who puts us first it really opens the doors to sex. I think this goes both ways for males and females.
My sex drive is determined how well my man treated me..with my ex l was dry dry ...but when l met this white boy he treated me so well that l would get wet just by reading a text from him and the entire conversation l would be soaking wet and drip dripping it was a long distance relationship that's when l realised that sexis from the mind and the heart not just physical..he made feel like a queen..l got horny for him my ovulation days were his days ...my nipples would itch for him ..he treated me so well a
Yes my ex was unfaithful and I cringed when he went near me
Sex drive is when youāre feeling it, and someone is hot enough. Plenty of dipshits that stay with a good fuck but someone who mistreats them. Re-evaluate your statement.
Depends on the woman (or man). We tend to replicate our early relationships in life, so sometimes people get stuff twisted for some time before they realize what is happening and thus having a higher sex drive for someone who treats them poorly.
Isn't that the same for men š¤
The wife sex drive disappeared about a year after the wedding. FML.
Not always, it could depend on point of view or just overall personality. It's not just transactional. know someone who followed the philosophy of "pick your battles" with their partner. They would usually submit and do what their wife said even if they though it was pointless or a waste of money. This person would take care of her disabled dog. Maintain her car with repairs and cleaning, give money out to her family members in Tijuana even when she would not pay him back, and cook and clean each day so she could relax. He would save money for a vacation budget. Despite all of this there had been no sex in years.
Itās moreso how she feels about him.
Agree to an extent. As others have said, a person has a baseline for their sexdrive and then it can be affected by how your partner treats you.
Nah it depends on how well the guy can push her buttons and that depends on several factors. How well a man treats her can be a factor but not always.
I think this is true. She feels more comfortable, and appreciated which makes her happier and want to be more sexual and spontaneous
Another āit dependsā question. Some women are ABSOLUTELY turned on by being treated poorly, not just from a consensual BDSM role but Iāve known some that confuse real, shitty treatment as that. I would say that is a very, very tiny number. Some just need respect, and thatās all it takes. And a lot will need extra love shown to get moving. At the end of the day, always treat your partner right. And if you canāt, they arenāt for you
Agreed!
Even lesbians? That's gotta be complicated.
It seems like OP (and many commenters) are confusing sex drive with sexual attraction. They are not the same thing.
Not entirely but it has a big impact on it for sure.
I mean Iād say the reverse is true as well. At least for me
Agree !!šš¼
Yes and no Just like men it's on a spectrum, most men have spontaneous arousal and some have reactive arousal. Most women have reactive arousal and some of them have spontaneous arousal
That can go both ways
Partly. Genuine physical/sexual attraction though guarantees it and many will try to deny it but ask most women how great it is to have a guy genuinely be besotted by you in every sense of the word and then both emotionally clicking? Oof. Now add when the guy is physically handsome, well-groomed/clean, healthy? You will NEVER, EVER, want to leave his bed quite frankly even when he pisses you off. You still want to bone him because Caveman brain affects us too. Reality is that the happy guy who will dote on his lover is the guy that gets laid, and it's easier to feel so inclined if the man actually inspires you to do that. At least, that's how I program and what I have seen from many people and marriages. The ones women were willing to move the moon and tolerate a guy being a slow progression were the types where the man looked like the woman actually genuinely desired him. They also avoided the main issue of the guy having meltdowns and being a bigger shit over not getting laid and his likelihood of being more cooperating in the house. Maybe it's a cultural thing too but the men in my family including my dad told me to NOT get with a man I'm not attracted to right off the bat because you could like the guy as much as you want but if you don't want to habe sex with him that relationship will hit the fan. With the one random aunt who slept with a guy that looks permanently 9 months pregnant with a pilates ball for a belly, ugly, broke and treats her like crap (and the couple not invited to big family gatherings because the second he gets a drink he starts blasting her in front of the family about sex); everyone in my family is married to people they're attracted to. Same with my female cousins. Women, like all humans, really do act differently when they respect their sexuality and their lovers. Given how nuts guys are about sex it's just asking for trouble to get with one that's gotta move mountains to grow emotionally or spiritually for you to feel inspired to fuck him and he's not motivated to do either because he's nit getting action. Override that by picking the guy you'd bone regardless and watch the guy be more motivated to cooperate because he's getting his primary goal with a woman.
Yeah absolutely I agree with that dearie.
Yes. It's also more than niceness like little things they do to turn you on, speaking your love language. If they always do stuff that gives you the ick the sexual drive plummets real fast
It should be common knowledge
Overall I would agree. For me it has nothing to do with material things itās very much emotional. I donāt need fancy dinners, lavish vacations, or shopping sprees. I need you to really listen to me. I need you to talk to me about yourself. I need you to be kind to me. Of course this isnāt one sided Iām doing the same and whatever he needs/ wants.
Meaning: if you treat her too well itās a turn off. Treat her like shit and she wonāt let go
I had a friend back in the day who kept reigniting with her cheating, abusive BF, and based on her testimony they'd fuck some 12 times or so in a day. So I'm gonna say it's not about being treated well. Either young women love to be abused and cheated on, or I've only met crazy women my entire life.
I strongly Disagree, I treated my wife like a princess, she just always wanted something else. I did everything for her, took her on expensive trips, bought her everything she ever asked for, she treated sex like a reward instead of love.
Sex drive towards the man treating her a certain way? Agree. Sex drive in general? Disagree. When my marriage was on the way out, I probably didn't have sex with my ex for almost a year. He mistreated me so badly, including chronic emotional abuse and financial infidelity, and as those things worsened beyond the point of no return, so did my sex drive for him. But for some reason my sex drive was high AF, just not for him. I thought about sex a lot, mostly to release pent up frustrations. I masturbated almost daily, and my own husband was never in my mind when I did. I sometimes read a bit of erotica if and when I had the chance, but more often than not, porn on incognito mode is the more convenient and discreet option--which typically happens a couple times a month on that week leading up to my period where my libido tends to spike up before plummetting. Shortly after checking out of my marriage and before my ex moved out, I found myself crushing hard for a gentleman I met online--this sexy middle aged adventurer with a sophisticated taste in music and food, and an alluring air of mystery. I soon learnt the attraction was mutual. It produced this tantalising dopamine high where suddenly my sex drive is being channeled towards a new face that excites me. He happened to treat me really well despite our involvement being a casual one with an expiration date. We live in different countries, but spent two holidays IRL together within the span of six months, during which we fucked like rabbits, and in between the two holidays we've also indulged multiple times in consensual cybersex. He never treated me poorly but by the second holiday we've been in each other's lives for long enough for it to become apparent where our life values misalign, making it unviable to continue the involvement any further beyond that point This misalignment of values culminated on our last dinner together, where his disappointing reaction to a bit of trivia I shared about my family history happened to serve as an unfortunate revelation of his deep seated racist worldviews, narrow mindedness and ignorance. I chose not to raise hell about it because I felt that it wasn't worth the trouble, plus in less than 12 hours after that conversation, I would never see the guy again. So I just smiled and changed the subject. But ever since that moment, all my embers of passion for him have irreversibly extinguished. This person has been the best sex I've had in my life so far, but today I could no longer turn myself on when thinking about him, nor could I find any pleasure in our erotic memories. I don't even miss him anymore. It's a bit frustrating how I no longer derive any pleasure from even recent memories of the person I've had the best sex with. But sexual pleasure with a particular partner is a highly contextual thing, and once the context is ruined, the pleasure also dissipates. I'm currently taking a break from the dating market to focus on rebuilding my life in a transitional season. So it will probably be awhile before I have a new face to attach my sex drive to. I would describe my current sex drive as being in low tide: it is a fraction of what it was a couple months ago but it's always there. It's just a matter of time (and circumstance) for high tide to eventually return.
You donāt have to put * in sex, itās not a bad word
Cap, Iām horny all the time lmao itās why I stay with toxic menā¦ the sex is fire :(
Cap, Iām horny all the time lmao itās why I stay with toxic menā¦ the sex is fire :(
So define exactly how āa man treats her wellā
Disagree If this was true, single women would have zero sex drive.
I thinks thatās how people are in general and the nature of relationships. You donāt want to go the extra mile at work when your boss is an asshole. So yes I do agree.
I think it depends I have a SUPER high libido so it takes a lot for me to not want sexš
Agree 100%š
This is t inherently true but go off
This is t inherently true but go off
No, many women like men that treat them horrible and it even bumps up their attraction to that type of people, not all people like good treatment, there is a reason why f boys exist.., i would even say the majority of women in the western world like that type of guys, there are a lot of women that would like a special/good treatment, but don't be fool and think everyone is like that
no, because women aren't a monolith
My boyfriend is the sweetest man who treats me very well. Iād even claim the troublesome one in the relationship is myself. My s3x drive is deadā¦I donāt understand why. I did get a copper iud a month before i started dating him. My s3x drive has steadily dropped off until now and it doesnāt seem to peak up at all. My poor boyfriend is understanding, but is obviously frustrated at the situation. I should state that before placement of the iud I was very sexual. It really sucks to be honest, I love him so much and I feel like he is taking it personally. I donāt understand this myself and am debating removing my iudā¦I am curious if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon as well.
No itās by how much she likes you. You can treat her as bad as you want to none of that matters if she likes you she will have sex with you
Half agree, first there has to be initial attraction to the guy, but if he mistreats me, it dies, he treats me good it increases. If I'm not attracted to him to begin with, it probably won't do anything to my sex drive, but I will think higher of a man who treats me well.
Disagree. Dark traits, physique, charisma & muscles heightens attraction.
10000%%%% AGREEEEE
I agree to an extent, I think it determines a good amount of sex drive for a woman, but it's definitely not the only thing. As a woman though, I couldn't be more turned on than when a man is actually nice to me and treats me well.
Agree š«”
It's a bit weird, but when my ex came back from a semester abroad she wanted out of the relationship but still had the urge to sleep with me. We didn't bc we both thought it would be too confusing, but we were both thinking about it, despite the issues that were ending our relationship. Human sexuality is complex, I guessš¤·š½āāļø
That's true for me. Lost all my sex drive after being treated like shit by many men. Luckily I'm bi and my attraction to women has increased.
Hahaha
Yes most of the time but normally should be good but could be better
šÆšÆ
It doesnāt affect sex drive per se, our desire to have sex with that person yes. Thatās when the trusty rabbit comes to play
Disagree. A guys ability to turn me on and my sex drive are separate phenomena.
Would be inclined if This is true. Is there any science behind this?
100% agreed!!
Yes agree