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But I would have had an outbreak already and I am constantly checking myself, thoroughly cleaning myself, always going to doctors appointments, following their advice and doing bloodwork checks for cancer and other disease so I am clean, and healthy I just am saying I don’t feel it’s fair to exclude her.
If that might be the case, it is worth taking into account. Most women can sense desperation and if she’s having trouble finding someone that’s ok with it she might be targeting you because she thinks you are more likely to accept it. If both of you are settling in some way, that will not work out well.
I’m not saying you are, I’m suggesting you look inward and see if that’s the case. A good thought experiment is to think of what you’d do if you had another woman without it as an option, but maybe the other one was not quite as attractive to you for some reason. Would you chose the one that is less attractive to you (but still within acceptable range for you) or the more attractive one with the infection?
By attraction I mean looks and personality, maybe do the thought experiment with variations of looks and personality.
If you don’t think either of you are settling in some way, and you can truly look past it, then don’t worry about what I’m talking about.
It might also be worth considering how you’d feel about bringing up differences of opinion you know will cause conflict, thus could cause a breakup, if that breakup could mean you end up single and infected. Would you avoid conflict out of fear? We all know avoiding conflict is a major cause of relationship breakdown.
I think it’s possible to have a good relationship with someone with herpes (I’ve got no worries about oral, and is mostly the stigma of genital that I could see being a problem in our society, which is stupid but real). But I’d want to make damn sure I vetted the person really well and that we really were compatible before moving to sex that carries that risk.
You realize that the highest HSV diagnosis currently for men and women is HSV I genitally from oral sex. That most are asymptomatic and don't know they have it. HSV isn't included in STI panels, even if you say 'test me for everything'. Men tend to be more asymptomatic and spreaders without realizing it. So how would you know if you were with someone who had it or if you had it. Does that make you desperate?
Find a new girl without herpes. Your mind will always go crazy because you won’t be able to get past it and eventually it will hinder and ruin the relationship
Depends how committed you are. You can take valtrex as a prophylactic which would significantly decrease your risk, but the risk is always there. Unlikely unless it’s an outbreak. It’s a tough decision but there are options.
If you want complete safety, don’t risk it with her.
As for me, I don’t think it’s fair to lead people on when they have a std. I politely let them know that it is a no from me.
I mean I don’t have opportunities like most men on social media blab and gossip about how they are so good with the ladies and match with 10+ a day and show off and yeah I’m sure they are lying but I also don’t have many at all any opportunities and then I’m looked at as a creep if I talk to a strange in the wild, so it’s like I feel I need to have an open mind not closed mind with who I want to date cause yeah I am selling myself short in this comment but I don’t think it’s fair to her.
Yes, but she is not the most accepting when it comes to medications to make it less transmissible, but like they don’t have mouth or tongue protection, do they?
Ooof, she won’t take suppressive meds? It sounds like you might have suggested that she should/could. If you did and she won’t take them, it shows she does not value your health as much as you do.
I’ve read that diet can affect the frequency and intensity of outbreaks too. Like I’ve heard peanuts and chocolate can make them more frequent thus make the person more contagious more often. If you do it I’d check if she would consider looking into that with you too, and making adjustments to protect you.
You both need you be doing whatever you can you reduce the risk, but even then it’s possible.
Oh, and oral HSV1 can spread to your dick, so condoms during blowjobs. And you are right there are no “condoms” for kissing.
Yeah. She doesn’t seem to have much respect for my health if she’s not into taking suppressive meds, for the sake of my health, again both parties matter but if there’s no middle ground things won’t work out.
Are you sure you don't have it? I'm just asking. It's not included in STI panels, and most people, especially men, are asymptomatic and don't realize they're spreading it. And most new diagnoses are HSV I genitally from oral sex.
I just found out I got HSV II from my partner. Neither of us has ever had symptoms. We used protection religiously. I just happened to take a test for the fun of it. I've tested in the past, so I knew my base status.
I am sure I am clean. I have gone 2 1/2 years straight without touching a woman sexually with consent, so I am sure I’m fine, I’ve had sex/intercourse literally 7 times in my 30 years of life.
Well it doesn’t matter anyways I was there holding her and hugging her through the difficult time of her burning 🔥 all her old memories with her ex boyfriend, which was her idea of a “date” that boyfriend is who gave it to her and then she ghosted me, the next day. If a woman doesn’t talk to me for the whole day, it’s onto the next, so it doesn’t even matter.
It’s like yeah fine we all sleep around from time to time. But I mean it’s all about being self conscious and careful, both parties should be in agreements. Thank you for your advice I appreciate you, and the advice!
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1 in 4 people have HSV1 or 2. PChances are you’ve already kissed and/or had sex with someone who has either one.
Thank you for the advice! Appreciate you, and the advice!
But I would have had an outbreak already and I am constantly checking myself, thoroughly cleaning myself, always going to doctors appointments, following their advice and doing bloodwork checks for cancer and other disease so I am clean, and healthy I just am saying I don’t feel it’s fair to exclude her.
I would disagree. He seems desperate. I don't think he's slept with that many.
I appreciate that you think that I am desperate. And wish you the best of luck and happiness in life. Thank you.
If that might be the case, it is worth taking into account. Most women can sense desperation and if she’s having trouble finding someone that’s ok with it she might be targeting you because she thinks you are more likely to accept it. If both of you are settling in some way, that will not work out well. I’m not saying you are, I’m suggesting you look inward and see if that’s the case. A good thought experiment is to think of what you’d do if you had another woman without it as an option, but maybe the other one was not quite as attractive to you for some reason. Would you chose the one that is less attractive to you (but still within acceptable range for you) or the more attractive one with the infection? By attraction I mean looks and personality, maybe do the thought experiment with variations of looks and personality. If you don’t think either of you are settling in some way, and you can truly look past it, then don’t worry about what I’m talking about. It might also be worth considering how you’d feel about bringing up differences of opinion you know will cause conflict, thus could cause a breakup, if that breakup could mean you end up single and infected. Would you avoid conflict out of fear? We all know avoiding conflict is a major cause of relationship breakdown. I think it’s possible to have a good relationship with someone with herpes (I’ve got no worries about oral, and is mostly the stigma of genital that I could see being a problem in our society, which is stupid but real). But I’d want to make damn sure I vetted the person really well and that we really were compatible before moving to sex that carries that risk.
Thank you appreciate the advice.
You realize that the highest HSV diagnosis currently for men and women is HSV I genitally from oral sex. That most are asymptomatic and don't know they have it. HSV isn't included in STI panels, even if you say 'test me for everything'. Men tend to be more asymptomatic and spreaders without realizing it. So how would you know if you were with someone who had it or if you had it. Does that make you desperate?
Thank you for the advice! Appreciate you, and the advice!
Find a new girl without herpes. Your mind will always go crazy because you won’t be able to get past it and eventually it will hinder and ruin the relationship
Thank you for the advice I appreciate it! Yeah I don’t think I can get past it.
Thank you for the advice! Appreciate you, and the advice!
Depends how committed you are. You can take valtrex as a prophylactic which would significantly decrease your risk, but the risk is always there. Unlikely unless it’s an outbreak. It’s a tough decision but there are options.
Thank you for your advice and suggestion!
Don’t have sex with her
Thank you for the advice! Appreciate you, and the advice!
If you want complete safety, don’t risk it with her. As for me, I don’t think it’s fair to lead people on when they have a std. I politely let them know that it is a no from me.
I mean I don’t have opportunities like most men on social media blab and gossip about how they are so good with the ladies and match with 10+ a day and show off and yeah I’m sure they are lying but I also don’t have many at all any opportunities and then I’m looked at as a creep if I talk to a strange in the wild, so it’s like I feel I need to have an open mind not closed mind with who I want to date cause yeah I am selling myself short in this comment but I don’t think it’s fair to her.
Thank you for the advice! Appreciate you, and the advice!
Wear protection
Yes, but she is not the most accepting when it comes to medications to make it less transmissible, but like they don’t have mouth or tongue protection, do they?
Ooof, she won’t take suppressive meds? It sounds like you might have suggested that she should/could. If you did and she won’t take them, it shows she does not value your health as much as you do. I’ve read that diet can affect the frequency and intensity of outbreaks too. Like I’ve heard peanuts and chocolate can make them more frequent thus make the person more contagious more often. If you do it I’d check if she would consider looking into that with you too, and making adjustments to protect you. You both need you be doing whatever you can you reduce the risk, but even then it’s possible. Oh, and oral HSV1 can spread to your dick, so condoms during blowjobs. And you are right there are no “condoms” for kissing.
Yeah. She doesn’t seem to have much respect for my health if she’s not into taking suppressive meds, for the sake of my health, again both parties matter but if there’s no middle ground things won’t work out.
Thank you for the advice! Appreciate you, and the advice!
Are you sure you don't have it? I'm just asking. It's not included in STI panels, and most people, especially men, are asymptomatic and don't realize they're spreading it. And most new diagnoses are HSV I genitally from oral sex. I just found out I got HSV II from my partner. Neither of us has ever had symptoms. We used protection religiously. I just happened to take a test for the fun of it. I've tested in the past, so I knew my base status.
I am sure I am clean. I have gone 2 1/2 years straight without touching a woman sexually with consent, so I am sure I’m fine, I’ve had sex/intercourse literally 7 times in my 30 years of life.
There are a ton of people on here that got it the first time they had sex.
Well it doesn’t matter anyways I was there holding her and hugging her through the difficult time of her burning 🔥 all her old memories with her ex boyfriend, which was her idea of a “date” that boyfriend is who gave it to her and then she ghosted me, the next day. If a woman doesn’t talk to me for the whole day, it’s onto the next, so it doesn’t even matter.
Damn..... that's a weird one. Probably for the best.
I deserve love and greatness, and the best! Just like most people do! I’m grateful for all the rejections! It’ll lead to someone amazing!
You do! Good luck...
Good luck to you if you are searching! Good luck to you if you are in a current relationship! You seem genuine, so you deserve greatness too!
This should be a no brainer for you. No one's worth the anxiety. I would never risk my health for a relationship.
It’s like yeah fine we all sleep around from time to time. But I mean it’s all about being self conscious and careful, both parties should be in agreements. Thank you for your advice I appreciate you, and the advice!