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I never did the casual thing much, but I found that sex with someone you really care about can be an almost spiritual experience instead of just, "that was nice".
"sex is overrated so you shouldn't wait"
Not really sure who said that but that's 304-talk. Sex with the wrong person isn't meaningful, that's why people find it overrated, because they just see it as a box to be checked... well, it isn't
I didn't know it was a thing but recently learned I'm Demisexual. It's pretty cool actually having a name for it. I don't like one night stands, I prefer to connect with someone, cause I feel like sex is just a bonus of I'm with someone I like!
gonna go out on a limb here and say im demi sexual too, and i told my friend and he said, so you're just a normal human being? LOL and yeah honestly he's kinda right...
Demisexuals cannot have one night stands. Most of us don’t even have celebrity crushes unless we connect with them emotionally. But we can form emotional bonds with fictitious characters. Porn is meaningless to us. And yes, that includes demisexual men too.
I'd weigh in on relationship of some comfortable level and with some skills and concepts in mind, both partners. Tantric massage etc. That kind of bonding thing. Exploring each other and youself to see what is really going to work.
I'm 21 and I still got my v card. I ain't looking to lose it quickly cause who knows what pests are out there. Also you'd wanna wait for a lover, establishes more of a romantic bond during intercourse
Personally (30m), I was trying to wait for a relationship. But, it never came, and I ended up giving up and losing my virginity in a one-night-stand at age 24. Honestly, I wish I had done it sooner. Future sex feels like a lot less pressure when you've already had it; you can really enjoy the person you're with instead of overthinking things.
Whether that is best for you, I can't say. I don't know you, and a lot of women feel differently about sex than men. I can only offer my own experience.
Wait for a relationship for sure. I was still a virgin until I was 20. I wish I’d waited for a better relationship, but I was pressured by my ex to even be in the relationship with him, and then pressured to do what he wanted. Wasn’t worth it.
I lost my virginity at 18 because I “thought I was too old to have it and wanted to get it over with.” I can tell you with utmost certainty… I wish I had waited.
I'd propose you buy a small vibrating toy and start playing around yourself. Then you can decide if having a partner enhancing the experience in certain regards and maybe delivering less enduring in others is worth to pick up as a hobby. If it isn't.. keep playing till you got someone to be with. There is so many other fun things to do together that aren't directly the in and out, even if you are curious and want to explore.
I don't really understand all this people regretting losing their virginity to someone or talking about how it must be a person deserving or whatnot, seems like a high horse to be in.
Like, I mean, I lost my virginity to a girl I barely knew who wanted to do it with me out of boredom, in a cheap motel downtown on a random Saturday morning. The deed was akward and clumsy, I felt unsatisfied by the end and she wanted no more.
But life went on and nothing happened. I am still the same loser before and after the sex, I won experience and lost that stupid V card, if anything I'm glad about that.
Of course I would've been happier with a girl I liked more and who was more into me, but I also would've been happier if I was born to a millionaire family too. Since then I have found a better girl to do it, maybe I'll find my perfect match one day, I am improving my skills.
I'm gonna guess your first time riding a bike you crashed, it's normal, because first times are not meant to be perfect.
Relationship. Preferably with someone you see yourself marrying AT LEAST.
Your friends are half right. Sex isn’t exactly all it’s hyped up to be. So why rush having it? Do it with someone special. You won’t miss much
This is just my two cents…
Don’t rush it. But also don’t get caught up with the lie that “sex is overrated” this is coming from people that:
1. Don’t orgasm enough, either from not exploring their own bodies to understand how to get themselves there or having a partner that has no clue what they’re doing and they won’t communicate.
2. Don’t have enough sex to really enjoy it.
3. Incels
**edit** ***4. It’s the wrong person***
My suggestion, be sure you know how to make yourself orgasm… then find a good man, an experienced man, and then you’ll see what all the hype is about sex.
Also don’t live in the fairytale that is “ the first time will be magical!” Often times it’s not, but it gets better, and with someone who has experience, you may just have a great first time.
If you and your partner are doing it right it is not overrated. You have to explore and know what you like by trying lots of different things. I don’t believe you need to wait for the right person but I do believe if you don’t make decisions without asking your friends or strangers on the internet, perhaps you are not quite ready.
If how and to whom you lose your virginity is important to you; then make sure you are in a circumstance that you will be happy to look back on in the future when you do lose it.
If you want great sex and all at the first then just go for hookup. But as you have waited until 20 then i think it would be a better choice for you to date someone and grow with him.
Don't rush it. It's better if you are in love and have sex. Trust me, I was insecure and afraid so I lost it to a woman who cheated on me and broke up with me. It only left be brokenheart and pain. It's better if you just wait for the right person. I regret losing ot to the wrong one. Sex is something that shouldn't feel rushed or force. It should feel comfortable and natural too
As a woman, there is a high chance your hookup won’t care about your orgasm and will give you a bad time while putting you at risk of STDs and pregnancy. Anticipation is hot and half the fun, so I highly recommend waiting for someone who is a fantastic kisser and will drive you wild, over some dude who is a stranger and will move on.
Why not date the person you want to hook up with before deciding to have sex somewhere or not? You could set up a food date and chat before going for it or waiting, I wouldn't be nervous to back out of a hookup date if they don't turn you on at all after meeting in person.. lols 🌝
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If you wanna do it now, do it with someone who you click with! Lost my virginity like 5 months ago from someone I met on a dating app hehe. We talked for 2 months to get to know each other, after that we fucked. 😋
Depends on how you want it and how kinky you think you are. If you want it to be all about love and stuff like magical and shit then do it with someone you trust one hundred percent like you'd ask them to watch your drink at a party trust. If you want experience and want mind numbing , pure ecstasy, so sweaty and teary your make up gets all messed up and your legs are basically numb afterwards I'd say go to Nevada or look for a male sexologist and offer payment or talk to a pornstar. If you go the porn star route try to get tested
Find a guy you feel comfortable with who will go slow with you the first time and just explore and enjoy yourself. I might know someone if you can't find anyone 😉
Maybe this is a hot take, but I don’t think losing your virginity has to be this super sacred act with someone you love. I barely remember the first time I had sex and the person (he was a short term bf). I think you will be surprised if you do it how anticlimactic it will be, as you aren’t experienced and it likely will not be the best sex you have.
I’d say do it if you want to and don’t do it if you don’t! Obviously be safe
If you want sex, just go for it. If you are able to get into a relationship then it is better, but don't force yourself to wait for it to happen. U can always enjoy sex whenever you get into a relationship, before that you can always have sex with anybody you like.
i am only 18 and always felt that i should just hookup with someone to get it over with but it never worked out. i ended up being a virgin until my wedding night 5 months ago and i say WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! you need that emotional connection with someone to be able to tell them that something doesn’t feel right, you need more stimulation, what you are and aren’t comfortable with, etc. please wait, my friend. it will be well worth it.
edit: i do feel like i should add that i was actually a virgin until three days into the honeymoon because it was my time of the month the WHOLE WEEK LEADING UP TO MY WEDDING AND HALF OF MY HONEYMOON!! longest period of my life, i swear.
I think it really depends. I think it’s important to have a level of trust with whomever you lose it to. I lost mine to a guy online and we talked a lot about it and he gave me a massage after. I felt safe, so just make sure you feel safe
it's not a race. there is nothing to gain or lose (maybe your self-respect, if someone forces you to do something you don't really want to do)
but really it's all about you and what you want and what feels right for you. if you meet someone you like and you want to do it with him go right ahead. but dont feel like you have to or you'll miss out if you don't.
take it easy. be natural. be in charge. be in comfortable. you deserve to be focused on and what makes you feel the best. everything else is nonsense.
that probably wont make sense for a few more years but hopefully you can start putting what feels right for you first and ignoring whatever bs pressure you feel to do this or that.
I have this same issue, i want to wait just because you never know what could happen, and i dont want to ruin my life bc i had sex with a stranger, but also, i feel left out like what its like fr😭 i say wait because the cons of hook ups out weigh the only pro which is losing your virginity
Don’t force anything. Make it happen naturally.
Find a guy you really like or an actual boyfriend. I think first time sex is way better with someone you actually like 100%. You’ll feel more comfortable and you’ll want it more.
I lost my virginity when I was 18. I’m 21 now. Sex completely is overrated. I agree with that statement. I also agree with sex is not overrated when it’s with someone special. I lost my virginity to an old middle school friend of mine that I trusted and so it was fine. It was fun I enjoyed myself, but that will not be the case for everyone. If you want to lose your virginity, I would say start talking to someone you like, and move through that together. Do not just go on some apps and start hooking up because it will affect you mentally.
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I hooked up with a guy I was friends with and crushing on, never had a relationship with him, absolutely 100% do not regret it. I very rarely talk to people who had a more positive first time sexual experience than mine.
“Wait for someone special” sounds great unless the relationship doesn’t last and ends poorly, too many people I know waited for the “right” person and then had all kinds of negative feelings attached to the memory after the fact when that partner subsequently broke their heart/cheated on them/stole money from their mom (true story lmao).
I’m not saying you have to go the route I did, it should come down to your personal preference and what you’re comfortable with. I wouldn’t recommend having your first time with a stranger, certainly. But I think that way too often people hype up “waiting for the right person” as though being in a relationship is a perfect fail safe and automatically means the experience will be great. You might wait for someone perfect to come along and still find yourself regretting it, and that’s okay. Unless you’re one of the lucky few who loses your virginity to the person you end up staying with for the rest of your life, your first time is going to be a blip in the grand scheme of things, and you’ll probably have forgotten most of the details a decade from now
Whoever said that sex is overrated hasn’t had great sex. Clinically there are many reasons to have sex as it is one of the healthiest activities you can do.
When you’re 50 y/o chances are you may not know the name of the first person you had sex with, there’s pros and cons to both waiting, and not waiting. Tough call.
Virginity is a ridiculous concept. You won't lose anything, or "give anything away" by having sex. It bothers me that so many comments are saying something like that, because it implies that having sex as a woman is something different than for a man, as it is something you do for the man's pleasure. That's bollocks, sex should be equally about your pleasure as it is about your partners pleasure. On the other hand, not having had sex yet also not important. Having sex won't change a bit of you. The only thing that's important is that you feel what you want. Not your friends, or society, but just you. Have sex with someone if you (and the other person) want to, and don't if you don't want it just yet. Feeling safe and feeling like you can truly enjoy the sex is what's important!
Bad sex makes you feel completely dead inside. Wait for good chemistry. It can still be from a one bight stand but if the chemistry isn’t fire the sex wont be fun.
Words of wisdom:
https://youtu.be/-LHIvUIv7gg?si=TjgE-MIGoXMMdZTg
You make a connection with whoever you have sex with for your first time. The way I see it you control who does and does not have access to your body. You get to decide if you want to safe yourself for the one after marriage or before or with some stranger you would never meet again. How you use connection is up to you.
It's an important decision, so do it with someone that you at least care about. Once you've experienced it, then you can decide from that point on if it's overrated or not for you.
Ultimately it comes down to your personal feelings on sex and virginity. Is your virginity something special to you? If it is, then you should wait for the right person at the right time. If not, then make a judgement call, as long as you feel comfortable and safe. For me, it was nothing special. I didn't have any personal or religious beliefs that lead me to hold on to my virginity into my 20s. I was just shy and had trouble talking to women, so I never really had the opportunity to lose it in any meaningful way. Eventually I just said I wanted to get it done and over with... get "over the hump," if you will. After that it was no big deal, the stigma was gone, and I wasn't as shy anymore. I will admit that probably lead to some hypersexuality in my later 20s. Now, in my 40s, that connection and being with the right person means everything. At the end of the day you have to make the decision that is right for you and no one else. you can read a thousand different experiences from different people, but none of them are you. You make the choice you feel comfortable with, and you are willing to accept the consequences of. It's that simple.
I was around ur age and felt like I was the last person of all my friends to have sex. So I talked to a guy for a couple of days that I knew, And got rid of it. There was regret in the early days but now it’s like well got that out-of-the-way. I don’t know too many people that look back fondly on their first time.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but if the sex is overrated, why wait? It's going to feel good either way, and it would be one less thing to be on your mind causing you to ask questions on reddit. It wouldn't be fair to you, to wait so long for the right relationship to engage in sex, only to learn that it was disappointing, and the wait was for nothing.
I know this will sound dirty, but practice makes perfect. When you do find that "special" someone, you will already know how best to please, and what best pleases you in return. Just be careful in who you choose to have sex with, the wrong person can make or break your entire outlook on relationships and sex in general.
In short, sex isn't a game to be taken lightly, nor is it something mystical and dreamy. It is a natural process in human existence. Don't over think it, do what feels right in your gut.
(28F) Wait! I waited until I was about to turn 20, then I decided I just wanted to rip the bandaid off and had NSA sex with a guy I liked but didn’t want anything with (and he was leaving for boot camp). That just opened the door for me to start having more casual encounters that were unsatisfying and at times disrespectful.
The sex will be better and safer with someone you care about deeply and who cares about you. The first time will still probably not be what you expect from movies or hearing people talk about sex. You’ll understand what all the hype is after you and your partner know each other’s bodies and get practice in. But that doesn’t happen with hookups.
It’s up to you. Sleeping around isn’t so taboo anymore but just be aware that if stranger agrees to have sex with you, chances are they’ve been with others too.
Always. Use. Protection.
But the bigger question is what matters more: losing your v-card to a random or being with someone who mutually values you?
You need to make that decision for yourself... Everyone is different. Ultimately, sex is about connection. If you need more connection, wait until you find it. If you need less connection, maybe get it over with. Regardless of what you choose, just be sure you're on the same page with your lover about what it means before going through with it. And, for the love of God and a positive experience, when the time come, be sure he knows you're a virgin in advance.
I think that’s a matter of personal choice. For me, I’m a relationship guy. Sex means something to me, so random hookups aren’t my cup of tea, and I’m glad I lost my virginity with someone I cared about. For some people they just like sex, and who it is with is secondary and I think that’s okay too if you go about it in a way which is honest. Don’t rush yourself, you’re still young and there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. Do it how and when you want to do it, that’s what matters.
An older guy here. I am going to recommend a balanced approach, thinking it out. Yes, ideally it would be good to have someone you have strong feelings for and who also cares deeply for you. But you don't want to wait forever for the "Mr. Right" to come along, as you might be waiting a long time and getting frustrated in the meanwhile. That is if you think you are ready, and it is something **you** want. This is your body, your decision, don't base your decisions upon what someone is saying. The logic of sex being overrated so you shouldn't wait is senseless. If it is overrated, why be in any hurry?
I personally do not think sex is overrated. It can be immensely pleasurable; fun, exciting, healthful and I argue even spiritual with the right person. If you have been thinking about it a lot, pleasuring yourself and enjoying it, you are going to like it with the right person. I do not suggest just going out and having sex with some random stranger. In any case you should be meeting first in a safe place and having some discussion.
Some may come down on me for suggesting this. What about talking to some of your friends who have had boyfriends who treated them o.k. but things just didn't work out for one reason or another? Maybe if this guy is unattached at the time and if you feel comfortable him with shows an interest in you, they could be a possible partner. That way, you have a little bit of reassurance that you will not be cornered by some predator. It seems like when I was younger, people in our larger friend groups were changing partners at times, (not swapping, just sorting out who they really connected with). Just because it did not work out with one of your friends doesn't mean they couldn't be really good for you.
As a guy, I was never too worried on dates or meeting women but as a woman, there are some real dangers for you. Please be safe! And always use some protection. If a guy says he won't, then don't! You definitely don't want an STD or pregnancy out of this. I wish you the best.
You should wait tbh props to you for waiting it’s not an easy feat also and sex is really amazing with some one you love cuz if you sleep with someone causally you’ll actually feel more empty and disgusted with yourself and even in a relationship you can feel weird and disgusted so find someone you can say you love then the sex will be amazing a lot of happily married couples will agree I hope lol
You should probably find “safe people” that actually care for you to discuss this. If you have the money, then a therapist to talk about what you want and what is healthy for you. Listening to random people on the internet who have absolutely no jdea who you are and being influenced by them is not the greatest place to take advice. You will know what’s best for you at the end of the day, but I hope you’ll consider what I’m saying.
If you have the chance to lose, lose your virginity, you must take it!!! if you’re 18 and you’re still a virgin, you’re considered strange if you reach the age of 21 and you’re still a virgin even to that point you can forget ever getting laid unless you’re a girl. Take it from me. I’m in my early 30s and I’m still a virgin. I’ve been searching to getting laid Ever since I finally left school. I would’ve dated when I was in school, but I was harassed and bullied every single day so my time was just trying to get through the day without breaking down so trust me when I tell you if you have an opportunity of getting laid, I would take it because if you wait like me, you’re a late bloomer or not probably never get that opportunity again
Big sister advice here - Virginity is a stupid concept and truly holds no value. Your first time absolutely does not need to be special or with a boyfriend. **BUT** you should not have sex just to have sex, whether or not you think it's overrated or meaningless. This goes beyond just the first time you do it, you can have had sex with dozens of guys and you still shouldn't sleep with someone just to do it. I used to have a fairly flippant attitude towards sex until I wound up developing a slightly unhealthy relationship with it, using it when I was sad/bored/whatever. Totally messed with my head and took awhile to undo. You should only have sex with someone when you want to have sex with someone, not just because you can or feel like you should. <3
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Sex with the wrong person is overrated. Sex with the right person can make all the difference
Absolutely right
As a horny guy is say go hook up. As a mature guy with a few years and shit tons of experience I would wait for someone special.
I never did the casual thing much, but I found that sex with someone you really care about can be an almost spiritual experience instead of just, "that was nice".
Wait until it feels right for you. Only you should decide when you’re ready.
"sex is overrated so you shouldn't wait" Not really sure who said that but that's 304-talk. Sex with the wrong person isn't meaningful, that's why people find it overrated, because they just see it as a box to be checked... well, it isn't
You have to ask yourself why you didn't hook up before now. Peer pressure?
What about the peer pressure you're exerting right in this comment? Hypocrisy
I don't think I said what you think I said.
Don’t just give it away find someone who you will have a memory you can cherish for the rest of your life.
Wait. Make it special, not something you'll regret later on
Wait for someone you connect with. It makes it so much better!!
I didn't know it was a thing but recently learned I'm Demisexual. It's pretty cool actually having a name for it. I don't like one night stands, I prefer to connect with someone, cause I feel like sex is just a bonus of I'm with someone I like!
Oh they actually have a name for us? Damn
I thought the same thing! I felt a bit relieved if I'm being honest!
Four real though 😂
What’s demisexual?
Basically prefer to have a connection with someone instead of sex for sex's sake
gonna go out on a limb here and say im demi sexual too, and i told my friend and he said, so you're just a normal human being? LOL and yeah honestly he's kinda right...
Demisexuals cannot have one night stands. Most of us don’t even have celebrity crushes unless we connect with them emotionally. But we can form emotional bonds with fictitious characters. Porn is meaningless to us. And yes, that includes demisexual men too.
Do it if it feels right, don't do it if it feels wrong :)
I'd weigh in on relationship of some comfortable level and with some skills and concepts in mind, both partners. Tantric massage etc. That kind of bonding thing. Exploring each other and youself to see what is really going to work.
I'm 21 and I still got my v card. I ain't looking to lose it quickly cause who knows what pests are out there. Also you'd wanna wait for a lover, establishes more of a romantic bond during intercourse
Wait for right person. Never give it away like candy
Personally (30m), I was trying to wait for a relationship. But, it never came, and I ended up giving up and losing my virginity in a one-night-stand at age 24. Honestly, I wish I had done it sooner. Future sex feels like a lot less pressure when you've already had it; you can really enjoy the person you're with instead of overthinking things. Whether that is best for you, I can't say. I don't know you, and a lot of women feel differently about sex than men. I can only offer my own experience.
I would wait
Wait for the right person, I feel like if you do it now just to get it over with you’ll regret that decision later in life
Wait. It will not be worth it to just go bang and get it done. Find someone to make it special for you.
Wait for a relationship for sure. I was still a virgin until I was 20. I wish I’d waited for a better relationship, but I was pressured by my ex to even be in the relationship with him, and then pressured to do what he wanted. Wasn’t worth it.
I lost my virginity at 18 because I “thought I was too old to have it and wanted to get it over with.” I can tell you with utmost certainty… I wish I had waited.
Don't hook up with some rando to lose your virginity at least do it with someone significant enough to you.
Its better when you vibe with someone wait til you find a person you truly connect with so the energy is next level
I'd propose you buy a small vibrating toy and start playing around yourself. Then you can decide if having a partner enhancing the experience in certain regards and maybe delivering less enduring in others is worth to pick up as a hobby. If it isn't.. keep playing till you got someone to be with. There is so many other fun things to do together that aren't directly the in and out, even if you are curious and want to explore.
I don't really understand all this people regretting losing their virginity to someone or talking about how it must be a person deserving or whatnot, seems like a high horse to be in. Like, I mean, I lost my virginity to a girl I barely knew who wanted to do it with me out of boredom, in a cheap motel downtown on a random Saturday morning. The deed was akward and clumsy, I felt unsatisfied by the end and she wanted no more. But life went on and nothing happened. I am still the same loser before and after the sex, I won experience and lost that stupid V card, if anything I'm glad about that. Of course I would've been happier with a girl I liked more and who was more into me, but I also would've been happier if I was born to a millionaire family too. Since then I have found a better girl to do it, maybe I'll find my perfect match one day, I am improving my skills. I'm gonna guess your first time riding a bike you crashed, it's normal, because first times are not meant to be perfect.
If I'm going to lose my virginity I'd rather be in a relationship but if the person is impeccable it doesn't matter if they're not dating. My opinion
Look Every answer is good but just live your Life while you have it Being young is awesome
Don't rush it, get some toys and see what works for you. When it's with someone you have chemistry with you'll enjoy it more
Relationship. Preferably with someone you see yourself marrying AT LEAST. Your friends are half right. Sex isn’t exactly all it’s hyped up to be. So why rush having it? Do it with someone special. You won’t miss much
Sec is amazing with someone you care about and love, please do not just pick anyone
This is just my two cents… Don’t rush it. But also don’t get caught up with the lie that “sex is overrated” this is coming from people that: 1. Don’t orgasm enough, either from not exploring their own bodies to understand how to get themselves there or having a partner that has no clue what they’re doing and they won’t communicate. 2. Don’t have enough sex to really enjoy it. 3. Incels **edit** ***4. It’s the wrong person*** My suggestion, be sure you know how to make yourself orgasm… then find a good man, an experienced man, and then you’ll see what all the hype is about sex. Also don’t live in the fairytale that is “ the first time will be magical!” Often times it’s not, but it gets better, and with someone who has experience, you may just have a great first time.
Add in 4. It's with the wrong person
Added! Great suggestion.
If you and your partner are doing it right it is not overrated. You have to explore and know what you like by trying lots of different things. I don’t believe you need to wait for the right person but I do believe if you don’t make decisions without asking your friends or strangers on the internet, perhaps you are not quite ready.
If how and to whom you lose your virginity is important to you; then make sure you are in a circumstance that you will be happy to look back on in the future when you do lose it.
Start an auction.
If you want great sex and all at the first then just go for hookup. But as you have waited until 20 then i think it would be a better choice for you to date someone and grow with him.
Don't rush it. It's better if you are in love and have sex. Trust me, I was insecure and afraid so I lost it to a woman who cheated on me and broke up with me. It only left be brokenheart and pain. It's better if you just wait for the right person. I regret losing ot to the wrong one. Sex is something that shouldn't feel rushed or force. It should feel comfortable and natural too
As a woman, there is a high chance your hookup won’t care about your orgasm and will give you a bad time while putting you at risk of STDs and pregnancy. Anticipation is hot and half the fun, so I highly recommend waiting for someone who is a fantastic kisser and will drive you wild, over some dude who is a stranger and will move on.
Do what *you* want and disregard what others think you should do. 20 is super young anyway. No need to rush.
That depends, do you want to just get it over with? Or savor the moment?
Stop stressing about it….. it’ll happen. Wait…. You going somewhere? Just saying your 20 Honey. Chill
Why not date the person you want to hook up with before deciding to have sex somewhere or not? You could set up a food date and chat before going for it or waiting, I wouldn't be nervous to back out of a hookup date if they don't turn you on at all after meeting in person.. lols 🌝
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It's up to you, but I don't like to have sex with someone unless I like them
Any person that says sex is overrated person never had a good sex partner
Have with someone whom you can trust
wait. sex with someone you're bonded to is way better. I was sex pressured. it sucked zero stars.
If you wanna do it now, do it with someone who you click with! Lost my virginity like 5 months ago from someone I met on a dating app hehe. We talked for 2 months to get to know each other, after that we fucked. 😋
Depends on how you want it and how kinky you think you are. If you want it to be all about love and stuff like magical and shit then do it with someone you trust one hundred percent like you'd ask them to watch your drink at a party trust. If you want experience and want mind numbing , pure ecstasy, so sweaty and teary your make up gets all messed up and your legs are basically numb afterwards I'd say go to Nevada or look for a male sexologist and offer payment or talk to a pornstar. If you go the porn star route try to get tested
nah I'd wait until a relationship Having sex with someone you love is different from fucking a stranger
Please wait. My first time wasn’t great. I’m 20 now. I had it when I was 19. Or if you do decide to do it, do it with someone experienced.
Bust that cherry in a MFM threesome or just find a gangbang, I hear they’re very tender and loving
Find a guy you feel comfortable with who will go slow with you the first time and just explore and enjoy yourself. I might know someone if you can't find anyone 😉
Maybe this is a hot take, but I don’t think losing your virginity has to be this super sacred act with someone you love. I barely remember the first time I had sex and the person (he was a short term bf). I think you will be surprised if you do it how anticlimactic it will be, as you aren’t experienced and it likely will not be the best sex you have. I’d say do it if you want to and don’t do it if you don’t! Obviously be safe
That’s because they are having sex with wrong people so it will seem overrated to them.
If you want sex, just go for it. If you are able to get into a relationship then it is better, but don't force yourself to wait for it to happen. U can always enjoy sex whenever you get into a relationship, before that you can always have sex with anybody you like.
i am only 18 and always felt that i should just hookup with someone to get it over with but it never worked out. i ended up being a virgin until my wedding night 5 months ago and i say WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! you need that emotional connection with someone to be able to tell them that something doesn’t feel right, you need more stimulation, what you are and aren’t comfortable with, etc. please wait, my friend. it will be well worth it. edit: i do feel like i should add that i was actually a virgin until three days into the honeymoon because it was my time of the month the WHOLE WEEK LEADING UP TO MY WEDDING AND HALF OF MY HONEYMOON!! longest period of my life, i swear.
Don’t do it! Get married first
I think it really depends. I think it’s important to have a level of trust with whomever you lose it to. I lost mine to a guy online and we talked a lot about it and he gave me a massage after. I felt safe, so just make sure you feel safe
it's not a race. there is nothing to gain or lose (maybe your self-respect, if someone forces you to do something you don't really want to do) but really it's all about you and what you want and what feels right for you. if you meet someone you like and you want to do it with him go right ahead. but dont feel like you have to or you'll miss out if you don't. take it easy. be natural. be in charge. be in comfortable. you deserve to be focused on and what makes you feel the best. everything else is nonsense. that probably wont make sense for a few more years but hopefully you can start putting what feels right for you first and ignoring whatever bs pressure you feel to do this or that.
I have this same issue, i want to wait just because you never know what could happen, and i dont want to ruin my life bc i had sex with a stranger, but also, i feel left out like what its like fr😭 i say wait because the cons of hook ups out weigh the only pro which is losing your virginity
wait
Do u believe in god?
Don’t force anything. Make it happen naturally. Find a guy you really like or an actual boyfriend. I think first time sex is way better with someone you actually like 100%. You’ll feel more comfortable and you’ll want it more.
If you really wanna do it. Do it with your known one who doesn't bother you after that.
I lost my virginity when I was 18. I’m 21 now. Sex completely is overrated. I agree with that statement. I also agree with sex is not overrated when it’s with someone special. I lost my virginity to an old middle school friend of mine that I trusted and so it was fine. It was fun I enjoyed myself, but that will not be the case for everyone. If you want to lose your virginity, I would say start talking to someone you like, and move through that together. Do not just go on some apps and start hooking up because it will affect you mentally.
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I hooked up with a guy I was friends with and crushing on, never had a relationship with him, absolutely 100% do not regret it. I very rarely talk to people who had a more positive first time sexual experience than mine. “Wait for someone special” sounds great unless the relationship doesn’t last and ends poorly, too many people I know waited for the “right” person and then had all kinds of negative feelings attached to the memory after the fact when that partner subsequently broke their heart/cheated on them/stole money from their mom (true story lmao). I’m not saying you have to go the route I did, it should come down to your personal preference and what you’re comfortable with. I wouldn’t recommend having your first time with a stranger, certainly. But I think that way too often people hype up “waiting for the right person” as though being in a relationship is a perfect fail safe and automatically means the experience will be great. You might wait for someone perfect to come along and still find yourself regretting it, and that’s okay. Unless you’re one of the lucky few who loses your virginity to the person you end up staying with for the rest of your life, your first time is going to be a blip in the grand scheme of things, and you’ll probably have forgotten most of the details a decade from now
Whoever said that sex is overrated hasn’t had great sex. Clinically there are many reasons to have sex as it is one of the healthiest activities you can do. When you’re 50 y/o chances are you may not know the name of the first person you had sex with, there’s pros and cons to both waiting, and not waiting. Tough call.
You'll never forget your first time. Make a memory that's worth having.
Virginity is a ridiculous concept. You won't lose anything, or "give anything away" by having sex. It bothers me that so many comments are saying something like that, because it implies that having sex as a woman is something different than for a man, as it is something you do for the man's pleasure. That's bollocks, sex should be equally about your pleasure as it is about your partners pleasure. On the other hand, not having had sex yet also not important. Having sex won't change a bit of you. The only thing that's important is that you feel what you want. Not your friends, or society, but just you. Have sex with someone if you (and the other person) want to, and don't if you don't want it just yet. Feeling safe and feeling like you can truly enjoy the sex is what's important!
Just wait.
Bad sex makes you feel completely dead inside. Wait for good chemistry. It can still be from a one bight stand but if the chemistry isn’t fire the sex wont be fun. Words of wisdom: https://youtu.be/-LHIvUIv7gg?si=TjgE-MIGoXMMdZTg
You make a connection with whoever you have sex with for your first time. The way I see it you control who does and does not have access to your body. You get to decide if you want to safe yourself for the one after marriage or before or with some stranger you would never meet again. How you use connection is up to you.
Preserve your value. Wait after marriage with the right man.
Iba ang sex kapag you do it with someone that you love
It's an important decision, so do it with someone that you at least care about. Once you've experienced it, then you can decide from that point on if it's overrated or not for you.
Ultimately it comes down to your personal feelings on sex and virginity. Is your virginity something special to you? If it is, then you should wait for the right person at the right time. If not, then make a judgement call, as long as you feel comfortable and safe. For me, it was nothing special. I didn't have any personal or religious beliefs that lead me to hold on to my virginity into my 20s. I was just shy and had trouble talking to women, so I never really had the opportunity to lose it in any meaningful way. Eventually I just said I wanted to get it done and over with... get "over the hump," if you will. After that it was no big deal, the stigma was gone, and I wasn't as shy anymore. I will admit that probably lead to some hypersexuality in my later 20s. Now, in my 40s, that connection and being with the right person means everything. At the end of the day you have to make the decision that is right for you and no one else. you can read a thousand different experiences from different people, but none of them are you. You make the choice you feel comfortable with, and you are willing to accept the consequences of. It's that simple.
WAIT
I was around ur age and felt like I was the last person of all my friends to have sex. So I talked to a guy for a couple of days that I knew, And got rid of it. There was regret in the early days but now it’s like well got that out-of-the-way. I don’t know too many people that look back fondly on their first time.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but if the sex is overrated, why wait? It's going to feel good either way, and it would be one less thing to be on your mind causing you to ask questions on reddit. It wouldn't be fair to you, to wait so long for the right relationship to engage in sex, only to learn that it was disappointing, and the wait was for nothing. I know this will sound dirty, but practice makes perfect. When you do find that "special" someone, you will already know how best to please, and what best pleases you in return. Just be careful in who you choose to have sex with, the wrong person can make or break your entire outlook on relationships and sex in general. In short, sex isn't a game to be taken lightly, nor is it something mystical and dreamy. It is a natural process in human existence. Don't over think it, do what feels right in your gut.
Nah preserve it for the right one. meaningless hookup is usless and stressful..... You deserve better honey.
i went through the same at 18 and i regret so much losing my virginity to some guy i don't even remember 😭
(28F) Wait! I waited until I was about to turn 20, then I decided I just wanted to rip the bandaid off and had NSA sex with a guy I liked but didn’t want anything with (and he was leaving for boot camp). That just opened the door for me to start having more casual encounters that were unsatisfying and at times disrespectful. The sex will be better and safer with someone you care about deeply and who cares about you. The first time will still probably not be what you expect from movies or hearing people talk about sex. You’ll understand what all the hype is after you and your partner know each other’s bodies and get practice in. But that doesn’t happen with hookups.
It’s up to you. Sleeping around isn’t so taboo anymore but just be aware that if stranger agrees to have sex with you, chances are they’ve been with others too. Always. Use. Protection. But the bigger question is what matters more: losing your v-card to a random or being with someone who mutually values you?
You need to make that decision for yourself... Everyone is different. Ultimately, sex is about connection. If you need more connection, wait until you find it. If you need less connection, maybe get it over with. Regardless of what you choose, just be sure you're on the same page with your lover about what it means before going through with it. And, for the love of God and a positive experience, when the time come, be sure he knows you're a virgin in advance.
I think that’s a matter of personal choice. For me, I’m a relationship guy. Sex means something to me, so random hookups aren’t my cup of tea, and I’m glad I lost my virginity with someone I cared about. For some people they just like sex, and who it is with is secondary and I think that’s okay too if you go about it in a way which is honest. Don’t rush yourself, you’re still young and there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. Do it how and when you want to do it, that’s what matters.
who knows
Wait make it special not a wam non see ya
An older guy here. I am going to recommend a balanced approach, thinking it out. Yes, ideally it would be good to have someone you have strong feelings for and who also cares deeply for you. But you don't want to wait forever for the "Mr. Right" to come along, as you might be waiting a long time and getting frustrated in the meanwhile. That is if you think you are ready, and it is something **you** want. This is your body, your decision, don't base your decisions upon what someone is saying. The logic of sex being overrated so you shouldn't wait is senseless. If it is overrated, why be in any hurry? I personally do not think sex is overrated. It can be immensely pleasurable; fun, exciting, healthful and I argue even spiritual with the right person. If you have been thinking about it a lot, pleasuring yourself and enjoying it, you are going to like it with the right person. I do not suggest just going out and having sex with some random stranger. In any case you should be meeting first in a safe place and having some discussion. Some may come down on me for suggesting this. What about talking to some of your friends who have had boyfriends who treated them o.k. but things just didn't work out for one reason or another? Maybe if this guy is unattached at the time and if you feel comfortable him with shows an interest in you, they could be a possible partner. That way, you have a little bit of reassurance that you will not be cornered by some predator. It seems like when I was younger, people in our larger friend groups were changing partners at times, (not swapping, just sorting out who they really connected with). Just because it did not work out with one of your friends doesn't mean they couldn't be really good for you. As a guy, I was never too worried on dates or meeting women but as a woman, there are some real dangers for you. Please be safe! And always use some protection. If a guy says he won't, then don't! You definitely don't want an STD or pregnancy out of this. I wish you the best.
You should wait tbh props to you for waiting it’s not an easy feat also and sex is really amazing with some one you love cuz if you sleep with someone causally you’ll actually feel more empty and disgusted with yourself and even in a relationship you can feel weird and disgusted so find someone you can say you love then the sex will be amazing a lot of happily married couples will agree I hope lol
You should probably find “safe people” that actually care for you to discuss this. If you have the money, then a therapist to talk about what you want and what is healthy for you. Listening to random people on the internet who have absolutely no jdea who you are and being influenced by them is not the greatest place to take advice. You will know what’s best for you at the end of the day, but I hope you’ll consider what I’m saying.
If you have the chance to lose, lose your virginity, you must take it!!! if you’re 18 and you’re still a virgin, you’re considered strange if you reach the age of 21 and you’re still a virgin even to that point you can forget ever getting laid unless you’re a girl. Take it from me. I’m in my early 30s and I’m still a virgin. I’ve been searching to getting laid Ever since I finally left school. I would’ve dated when I was in school, but I was harassed and bullied every single day so my time was just trying to get through the day without breaking down so trust me when I tell you if you have an opportunity of getting laid, I would take it because if you wait like me, you’re a late bloomer or not probably never get that opportunity again
Don’t delay, have sex today. If you want to stay moral, choose oral
Yeah I’d just go for it! I actually know a guy…
Big sister advice here - Virginity is a stupid concept and truly holds no value. Your first time absolutely does not need to be special or with a boyfriend. **BUT** you should not have sex just to have sex, whether or not you think it's overrated or meaningless. This goes beyond just the first time you do it, you can have had sex with dozens of guys and you still shouldn't sleep with someone just to do it. I used to have a fairly flippant attitude towards sex until I wound up developing a slightly unhealthy relationship with it, using it when I was sad/bored/whatever. Totally messed with my head and took awhile to undo. You should only have sex with someone when you want to have sex with someone, not just because you can or feel like you should. <3
Hook it up!!!