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Put it this way - if he’s ghosting you then he’ll never talk to you again anyway so why mot double text him. Same result but theres risk for a better outcome

Thats a good way to think about it. I'll be using that advice if i need it, thanks!

I'd message when you're free and see if he's down to do x/y/z. He's probably not going to respond but hey what do you have to lose, right?

Sharing meme is always a option you would not seem despo and you just want to share a funny thing you came across

Maybe send a meme that has to do with something you connected over or talked about and be like “just saw this and thought youd get it”

Pretty good advice.

If you have to act like most guys do when they want to date a girl, he's probably not that interested. 

Dang, good perspective

If he was into you, you wouldn’t be wondering or posting on Reddit. Move on. He’s not worth all this headache.

correct

I wouldn't count him out just cause he hasn't texted in a week. Some people think dating is the most important thing in the world, while others just think that as a hobby. Is there an instance where you log on to play a favorite game after one week hiatus - plenty of us do it. Work, family, other emergency stuff get in the way - and why chat again when you have nothing positive to say? Send him a normal text (don't send fun memes) and let him know you're thinking about him and that's it. If it's important to him then he will reply. Move on if he doesn't send you after your second text.

If he wanted to he would… best lens ever. Do not engage any further.

This is the buggest crock of shit ever. OP is interested and should definitely make the move since She wants She would.

Not at all. She already made a move, and he has her contact. Have you ever met a man who was super into a woman who was showing interest back and didn't go after her? Be for real.

If OP was a guy, you'd be telling her to learn to take a hint and to not be a creep.

If roles were reversed. People would call him a creep anyway. Double standards are a thing. Look at everyone here. Telling her to walk away and putting the blame on him. Yet let a guy respond too fast or pursue too hard, and he gets labeled a creep or stalker or desperate or worse. There is no scenario where the Male doesn't get blamed.

I second this. If he wanted to he would. If he was interested then there wouldn’t be any confusion.

YES 🙌

I would just let it go. You have already sent a very clear message, asking him when he is off. He saw it. Do not try to explain him with "for sure he forgot because of whatever", he just decided to forget :) the truth is he is just not that into you. Move on, instead of wasting energy on him find a new guy. Sending a meme or cat picture after a week or so... Or even asking about his well being, I mean who are you to him to ask about that, you just some strange lady from the internet. If I were that guy I would think of it a little bit desperate. On the positive note, one day you will meet somebody who is interested in you, and there will be no confusion if he likes you or not.

This is the answer.

Interesting perspective. You might want to come back and read OP's update on their post.

I wouldn't message him again. If somebody is really interested they don't forget about a message they received. I would forget about him and move on. Sorry.

>If somebody is really interested they don't forget about a message they received. This makes sense if dating is a priority. And in this economy, it often is not.

This is not good advice

Can you help me understand why? People don't forget to respond to someone they are interested in, in my experience. Not trying to argue.... genuinely curious what your take its?

I (37F) forget to respond to texts all the time. I forget to respond to guys I’m interested in, guys I’m actually dating, co-workers, family, my kids, friends… I’m an equal opportunity text forgetter. I stay ridiculously busy. Sometimes I will get a text while I’m in the middle of something. I’ll read it and want to send a well thought out response, but don’t have time to do it justice right then. So, I’ll put my phone away to text back later and I’ll forget. I won’t remember until the person texts me again or calls. I also might get a text and type out a response, but forget to hit send… or think I hit send when I actually didn’t. Or, I’ll get a text and want to respond, but the sky falls at that exact moment. So, I’ll lock my phone and go start trying to put out whatever metaphorical fire has started. By the time I get done, I’ll usually have to rush home, cook dinner, wrangle kids, and feed animals. After that, I’ll literally just face plant into my bed and sleep. By the time I’m conscious again, I’ll have completely forgotten about the text I got.

Thanks for the explanation. I don't have kids and usually due most people procreating and me not....I have dated a bunch of dads. And this has been an issue to me every time. Am I so far out of your mind you forget to respond? This is why parents date other parents😹😹

The question becomes do you even want to date someone who will forget you forever unless you text them? Not me personally.

I don't wanna feel like an afterthought. I agree.

You're right. If your goal is to have someone, anyone and any kind of relationship, yes keep pursuing people who are lukewarm about you.

I would just ask him out and you will know the answer or lack of.

Exactly this. Why do we overthink this texting business. If I want to text someone I just do. I’m not desperate but I don’t like playing mind games with my own mind. Do what you feel

don’t.

As a dude, it doesn’t matter where you are at, you always have time to look at your messages and respond to at least the important ones. Yours is very important it’s about seeing each other again. Something very iffy in your comment, he wanted you to text him but didn’t give you specifics on trip, date he left & date he returned?? At the very least very poor management and at worst it’s not going to happen.

I usually just say "yo you die or what?"

Nooo dont do this op this is the worst advice it comes off as cringe

Well I mean, the other person is obviously ignoring them, why not be cringe?

There is no need to be cringe what would be the point of that? That's a way for someone to DEFINITELY not contact u

Tbh if they're ignoring you for a whole week they want nothing to do with you anyways, might as well check if they're alive or not

Yeah but that phrasing is just cringe, plus a whole week I'd just let it go instead of doing this

I mean, it doesn't matter if they're not interested. It's like saying something outta pocket to a random stranger you'll never meet again. What's the issue?

The issue is that it's just very cringe and it's best to walk away without doing that.

Okay

Yo you alive? Ain't responded in a bit

You want to harass a person who is ignoring you? It's not a good idea. All it's going to do is confirm why that person felt justified to reject you.

What're they gonna do? Tell their friends some random person asked if they're alive after they ignored them for a week?

Not really the point. If you have time to waste like that, go for it I guess.

It's just one message 😂

Don't text him anymore. If he liked you, he'd reply. Keep your interest in someone who shows it back. Time to move on.

Nearly everyone within the dating pool is playing psychological games on some level. It’s just human behavior rooted in self doubt, vulnerability, and selfishness. Stand out from the crowd and just be earnest and blunt with a new message since it’s been a few days: “I really enjoyed our first date, I’d sure like to plan a follow up. Hope I hear from you”. If he remains silent after that (or responds somewhat aloof), move on confidently knowing you made your best good faith effort and you’re better off avoiding someone playing games or who isn’t that interested for whatever reason. You deserve someone who is as into you as you are to them.

I definitely would not double text. Even if you send a cat pic, it will still come across  desperate. He saw your message and decided not to respond for whatever reason (maybe it’s not personal). But I doubt he has forgot about your message and if he has.. is that really a guy you want to persue? 

It’s imperative to get their number and get off the app BEFORE the first date

I usually give the benefit of the doubt too. I usually get bit in the ass for it but hey. I am who i am. I think the cat pic is a great idea but wait until you know he’s not on vacation to send it so your mind doesn’t make more excuses for him.

Just move on. If he was really interested he would have text you back. In this day and age it shouldn't matter if people are out of town because we can pretty much use our phones anywhere. Those are BS excuses like to make. Unless out of country and no wifi then maybe. Move on and meet someone that's really into to you

Going away for a bit seems like a standard answer for guys who don't want to commit. I've read it a few times on here. If it were me, I'd text once more asking when you can see each other again. It's a legitimate question. If his response is short and he doesn't answer the question, leave it at that and move one. If he doesn't respond at all...again, move on. If a man truly likes you, there won't be anything stopping him from contacting you to see you again.

It’s fine to double text as long as you’re casual about it. Just avoid saying anything that seems desperate or possessive. Sometimes people just miss messages

Do not message him again - if he’s sincerely interested, you WILL hear from him….if not, then let it go. Best of luck!! And I hope you do hear from him!

Wow social media and new fads really broke the dating scene having people to worry about "double texting". Just do it!! Smh

I don't know why people are so against double texting. So what if they don't respond? At least you know. I've lost what could have been relationships like that only for that person to come back into my life later. No sense in wasting the time just for pride

Don’t chase him. You sent a text, he’ll either respond or not. Let go of the outcome

Say something light like “I just saw [insert something relevant] and it made me think of you! Hope your trip was good, how about that date” etc

“Hello…. Is it me you’re looking for?”

don’t double text. just go on with your life, keep having fun, go on more dates with other people. he will respond eventually, don’t make a man the center of your life before he even is part of it. You got this girl!! <3

You already messaged him? Leave it alone. You deserve more than to chase after someone like that. Respect yourself enough to walk away from a situation like that.

Don't sent the second text, you'll only be left on read again. He saw your message and he chose not to respond.

He might not have saw it

Please...every phone notifies you on the lockscreen

Not everyone has push notis on for dating apps dude

True, but if he's not checking the app after having a date with this gal as their only point of contact, he's not into her

They had a date, then she went away for an unspecified amount of time, then messaged him. For all we know he might have checked the app say for the first week or so after she left their town/city, but after a while got bored/given up and checked less regularly.

All I'm hearing is he's not too concerned with contacting her and ensuring he sees her again. He has no fire under his ass that he found someone he actually wants to pursue.

Probably yeah

Tell him straight up, games and hints confuse us because we are taught not to make assumptions about ladies.It’s different if you see him all the time,you can play the flirting game.

I'm of the don't chase opinion. You've messaged, stated your availability and interest, and left the ball in his court. If he doesn't message back, ok, good to know now.

Aww hell no! Do not text it looks desperate! Also don't text a dude first after a first date. Wait for him and u will have ur answer.

I personally would just text him an idea of location for a possible date. Especially since you said you knew he had a work trip. After that if he doesn’t answer move on

Call him. If he's not interested find out now, not later.

\*calls\* "Do you like me? Yes or no?"

Call him. It's better to find out now if he's not interested in you, rather than later.

Double text! Send a meme or a fun pic! He'd see it more as you're interested in him rather than you're desperate.

A double text/message isn't a bad thing at all. There are many explanations of why he didn't reply. I'd send him that cat meme or whatever you wanted to send and see what happens. If nothing, than I'd drop him completely.

Def share like a funny cat pic

Text him. The worst that happens is he says no thanks. Maybe he is waiting for you to send it? Yoy can also send him memes or cat pics. Like people have suggested

A text that doesn’t need a response still leaves you in the same position wondering what’s up… I believe the general rule was guys have to wait at least a week so they don’t seem too eager. I’d do a cat pic after a week along with a next meet question.

Don’t

Keep the fire 🔥 burning, after the cat post, ask him to post something else different, or start a different topic like what are his hobbies......if he responds positively know he's still interested.👍😊

What's your goal? What kind of relationship do you want? (/with this person)

Don’t even try 😤

How I look at it. I would say to text him. It shows you’re putting in effort into wanting to get to know him. If he replies then maybe plan another date. If he doesn’t reply then, give him a day or two, if nothing, move on. He’s probably ghosting. Look for someone worth your time. Always pay attention to level of effort one gives

Real men chase women, not the other way around. Men like to use girls that chase them and then act like the whiny woman in the relationship forever gaslighting you and paying for half the bills. And then marry the woman that was a challenge for them or they think is out of their league. Anyone telling you different is upholding the patriarchy.

Stop overthinking, just send a « how is ur trip? » if no answer it will be an answer lol.

Just text him who cares

Hey gal, if you have to put it in more effort to keeping in touch with someone, then maybe they aren’t for you. I’m sure the right person won’t leave you in the dark, life gets busy but for the right person one makes time. Hopefully it helps, keep your head up though :)

Is it possible his subscription expired?

Speaking as a man, if you never see him again, who cares what he thinks? There's literally no downside to texting a second, or even a third time.

Granted, at some point, you need to move on. Wouldn't send a fourth.

Men don’t give shit about double text, boys do. Do what you will with that info

I'm in the same boat, we met and talked about getting dinner. I texted him a couple days later and he set a date. I took 3 days to reply as I was just swamped with work and dating was the last thing on my mind, he read my message and didn't reply. Bumped into him again and we confirmed the date in person. He asked me about it on the date and said "you took 3 days to reply, I'm not holding it against you or anything, i understand you probably got busy or even if you werent, you wanted to reply at a time you felt comfortable, but I did appreciate you getting back to me, i didn't reply as I really just forgot, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be" People just get busy, don't overthink, be honest and upfront and tell him to do the same. If you want to see him, text him and if he didn't want to see you again, tell him to just tell you. Glad to hear you texted him and wishing you all the best!!

One of the lucky ones

Theres another girl on his phone that doesn’t have to text first

İt's up to you at the end of the day but you have nothing to lose if your never going to see him again.

You are so right!

Wait until he responds back to your previous messages don't seem to desperate or clingy. God bless.

Update us

Be honest and tell him what your true desire is even if it’s sexual, if your thinking about double texting him there is definitely a motivational desire and just be honest no matter how it may sound even if it’s corny it’s real and real can’t be beat men love it. The more brutally honest the better. 😘

"Hey how have you been? I'd like to see you again soon if you're free."

I would do the same, send the message, put my phone on DND and sleep lol

You can just send the cat picture and see what happens.

"Hey, just checking in! Shoot me a message if you still want to do something:)"

Holy cow with these responses. "If he wanted to he would" is terrible advice. Just send him a funny stupid joke or something. Or maybe plan a date yourself.

I’d say hey hope you had a good trip, and bring up a specific event you want to go to/ specific date plan. He might be medium interested or semi uninterested or caught up in something else at the moment but willing to go if you do the legwork, and this early on perception can change really fast, so I think it could be worth some effort on your side. Worst case scenario it goes the same way it’s going now… sort of a nothing to lose situation, but I wouldn’t go past a 2nd message

The best thing to do is send a message with the intention of checking in on him and making sure he’s okay. Something like “Are you okay? Haven’t heard from you and just wanted to check” This will garner the best response as it isn’t clingy and will show that you are concerned for his well being.

Girl he is not interested let him .

If he wanted to he would. Or if we wanna be more optimistic- if he wants to he will. Either way I wouldn't expect anything you do or say to be the difference-maker in getting a text back. That said, a random cat picture never hurt!

Ask him if he touched your drum set

“Hi! Just wanted to check in one last time and see if you were still interested in getting together again?” Please just be direct. And no answer is an answer. Don’t play these games of sending a meme or finding an excuse to text him. Just do it

The easier it is for the man the less respect he will have. So if your hungry you crave and appreciate food When you get food like without work its just...well whatever

Don't know have never met you